Re: Re: damage to school relationship-sharon

[Guest guest]

Hi -

I asked Josh's therapist to come to the p-t conference a couple of weeks ago -

unfortunately, he actually had jury duty the week of the meeting so couldn't

make it.  The school psychologist called him prior to the p-t conference and

they discussed what he has been doing with me and Josh, the strateges he has

suggested and, according to the psych, he mentioned the " top 5 strategies " he

would like to see implemented immediately (ones that I told them about in

November!).  The psych, in the conference, changed the subject and I came back

to it asking what exactly were the top 5 strategies.  She listed them, we talked

about them, and not one of them, if I recall correctly, was included in the

behavior plan and none of the conversation made it into the written summary of

the conference that the psych prepared.  Interesting, huh?  I showed the plan to

the therapist at Josh's last session last week and he agreed that it was not

properly done and really

didn't address what we've been talking about and doing with Josh in sessions. 

So, in my no-restraint letter, I asked that another assessment be done across

environments and times, and with input from me and the ex.  So far there has not

been any word from Dist. as to when such a meeting would take place, or when a

new assessment will begin.

I'm not sure if insurance would pay for it in IL - something to look into.  Any

other IL folks out there know the answer?

Thanks!

Sherry and Josh

________________________________

From: sharon lang <flipperlang@...>

Sent: Saturday, February 28, 2009 7:22:31 PM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: damage to school relationship-Theresa

A good fba should be taylored to the child's needs and not a cut and dry program

predesigned by teh county.  As you know , it should be updated periodically, as

well.

 

Sherry, we have found that if you take the child to a clinic alot of times

private insurance in GA will pay for a bcba  -- I don't know about IL.  

However, not so in the home environment.   I would really encourage you to get

your own bcba and pay them to write a fba, attend and iep meeting ; I have not

found schools to ever consider anything that came out of my mouth, unless I had

a specialist recommend something.  Even wth specialists some persons are just

inflexible and incorrigable.

 

We actually had a pt at the dist that refused to set a goal to have our child

stand up from the middle of the florr (she has cp).   the pt said she could not

do it.  I was adamant that she was already doing it at home and that this was a

safety issue as there could be a fire and she culd get trampled if an adult were

not within arms length.   I had to gget the private pt to docuemnt that she

could and was doing this as an emerging skill and the opthamologist document

that there was nothing with her vision that would prohibit her from doing the

goal.  the only reason the county caved, imho, is that our pt had a phd and the

county's had a ms.

 

she met the goal in the first 8 weeks of school.  in fact she met 2 others the

pt said she would never ever be able to do by the end of the first semester and

we are now working on new goals for her.  some teachers/therapists are just

stuck in a rut and are not open to learning about the child.  I try to never

work with those persons.  If they think they can sum up my kid in a half hour,

they are wrong as she is very, very complicated and challenges everyone who

works with her

 

 

Good luck. 

sl 

 

sl

The information transmitted is intended only for the person or entity to which

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material. Any review, retransmission, dissemination or other use of, or taking

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contact the sender and delete the material from all computers.

Sharon Lang

From: sherry silvern <srsilvern (DOT) com>

Subject: Re: [childrensapraxiane t] Re: damage to school relationship- Theresa

@groups. com

Date: Saturday, February 28, 2009, 6:20 PM

Actually, I am an attorney and I did special ed law many years ago (before I

knew I would need it for my own family! funny thing about fate!)  It's been a

long time since I've dealt with it, but the eavesdrop laws in IL are pretty

specific that both parties have to actually agree to being recorded.  Go

figure.  I'm not sure what the laws are about things like " nanny-cams " but I've

thought of that - put one in his backpack somehow or something like that.  I'd

need to look at that a bit more before trying something like that though!  The

no-restraint letter should suffice for preventing them from using the restraints

and holds, but the Dist can turn around and say that Josh is too disruptive and

pull him out of the class he's in - depending on what they would do as an

alternative, it might not be a bad thing in the long run.  This is the same Dist

that, when we moved here, put Josh in a classroom for severely autistic children

and Josh isn't even on

the spectrum.  It's supposed to be one of the best districts in IL but it's not

impressing me in the least.

Thanks for the suggestions!

Sherry and Josh

____________ _________ _________ __

From: waddelltc <theresa@waddellcpa . com>

@groups. com

Sent: Saturday, February 28, 2009 8:08:27 AM

Subject: [childrensapraxiane t] Re: damage to school relationship- long

Have you talked with a special education attorney? I'd consult and know

what your/Josh's rights are. One of my biggest fears is having things

happen in school and my sons not being able to tell us about it.

The attorney can tell you whether it's legal for your son to wear a

wire (I'd even go for a pen-camera, but I'm paranoid, and I know some

FBI agents!)

Theresa

Mom to three boys, two with PDD-Nos, Apraxia, ADHD, Dysphagia, sensory

integration and motor planning issues

>

> Hi All -

>

> Weird goings-on here in Josh-land.  For those who have been online,

you probably remember that I've talked about Josh and his " fight "

response (as opposed to the " flight " response) to sensory

stuff/overwhelming sensory input/etc.  Josh has always done that and

we/I have always been able to talk to teachers about it and come up

with strategies to minimize it or, in most school years, eliminate it. 

It takes time, but it works.  This year, there was something that

happened during the Fall and I have yet to find out exactly what it

was.  Josh had an extraordinarily difficult time afterward - he was

even having nightmares and getting up in the morning saying " tummy

hurt, I stay home, Mommy stay home. "  

<<snip>>

[Guest guest]

Not a bad idea to get a separate advocate.  The ex and I are supposed to be

making the decisions but, since he is so minimally involved, he really doesn't

have a good handle on what is going on.  I honestly try to keep him up to date

on things - I send him emails, he gets information sent to him via email by the

school, but he doesn't come to school, he doesn't participate in school events,

he won't even take Josh to Special Olympic things (unless the head coach gets on

him via email or telephone).  So the ex is, as Josh's teacher said last year,

" swooping in " as if to " fix " things at school but school personnel know his lack

of involvement so don't always take him seriously.  And, if he and I disagree,

what happens then?  And, having him abdicate his responsibility to the teacher

or school psychologist, rather than sit down with me to have a conversation and

come to a decision as Josh's parents, is just ridiculous.  So, you're probably

right that

having another professional in there would be a good idea!  Is Dr. Crum open to

receiving emails from parents like me?

Actually, whether the school is going to take it out on Josh in the future is a

real concern.  The ex said several months ago that he thought the school was

angling to re-label Josh as a behavior disorder kid and I poo-pooed the idea. 

Now, with what is going on, I think he may have a point (OK, so maybe he's not

as unaware...).  I mentioned that to Josh's therapist at our last session and he

agreed that Josh doesn't fit the " classical " definition of having a behavior

disorder at all so I know I'll have at least one person out there on our side.

Thanks again!

Sherry and Josh

________________________________

From: sharon lang <flipperlang@...>

Sent: Saturday, February 28, 2009 3:46:50 PM

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: damage to school relationship-long

Hi Sherry

 

Do you have an attorney/advocate or even an ed consultant?  I personally think

you need some support here, espcialliy if you and your ex are not really

united.   Believe me I have been through it and the more people you can get on

your team the better you will be received by the dist.  Also, the more initials

after their name, in my experience, the better your professionals will be

received.

 

 

dr susan crum, able2learnlive (DOT) com is a retired phd in neuropsychology and

works as a special needs coach-- cross between and ed consultant and a tutor.  

I believe you could not go wrong with her.  she will do everything via

teleconference for you, so she can work anywhere. 

 

 

Good luck.  Personall, I would spend my time building a team.  IMHO, it is a

chess game and right now you need some more pieces on your team.  I don't think

you can fly solo on this. 

 

When I saw teachers with special ed children of their own,hire former directors

of special ed for advocates and attorneys who have special needs kids of their

own, hiring other attorneys to advocate for their child, I realized that this

would not work flying solo.  You need a team.

 

Yes, the school has a long memory, and my real concern would be whether they

take it out on your child, but if your gut says that they won't, then I try to

remember that it is not my job to be liked, but to get her needs met.

 

Hope that helped in some way.  I am not an advocate or attorny, just a parent

relaying my personal experiences.

 

 

sl  

 

 

sl

 

 

sl

The information transmitted is intended only for the person or entity to which

it is addressed and may contain confidential, proprietary, and/or privileged

material. Any review, retransmission, dissemination or other use of, or taking

of any action in reliance upon, this information by persons or entities other

than the intended recipient is prohibited. If you receive this in error, please

contact the sender and delete the material from all computers.

Sharon Lang

From: pdearmin <pdearmin (DOT) com>

Subject: [childrensapraxiane t] Re: damage to school relationship- long

@groups. com

Date: Saturday, February 28, 2009, 9:27 AM

Hi Sherry-

I would say to take a VERY deep breath. The stress and anxiety that

you are feeling is something that your son does notice. I know this

because my son just yesterday said " that's enough " when I was talking

to his special ed teacher in front of him. And he has never said

either of those words ever!

I'm not saying it is easy, but the number one goal should be to

remain focused on the goal of helping your son. And YOU are the

number one person helping your son. You can tell that him being at

school is not healthy for him. You are just trying to figure out

why. And that is where you could put your energy. But, you could

also take all that energy and focus on your son and what he needs

when he is around you, recreate the postive experience you had over

the holidays. I'm not saying ignore what is happening at school, but

you are currently not getting the response you want from them using

current communication methods. Take your time to see what is working

at home, and take him out to crowded places and see how he reacts to

the stimuli and what you do to minimize a negative response, and then

share all those strategies with the school.

I'm not trying to diminish how hard this is, and how easy it is for

me to say from the outside. Just know you are not the only one

dealing with this, but we all have to stay focused on what is healthy

for us and our kids.

Take care,

Penny

http://twoplusoneeq ualsfive. blogspot. com/

>

> Hi All -

>

> Weird goings-on here in Josh-land.  For those who have been online,

you probably remember that I've talked about Josh and his " fight "

response (as opposed to the " flight " response) to sensory

stuff/overwhelming sensory input/etc.  Josh has always done that and

we/I have always been able to talk to teachers about it and come up

with strategies to minimize it or, in most school years, eliminate

it.  It takes time, but it works.  This year, there was something

that happened during the Fall and I have yet to find out exactly what

it was.  Josh had an extraordinarily difficult time afterward - he

was even having nightmares and getting up in the morning

saying " tummy hurt, I stay home, Mommy stay home. "   Obviously

something was not right on the school front.  I had gotten word from

Josh's bus driver that one of the classroom aides had pulled Josh off

the bus one morning - the principal had come on the bus causing all

the kids to bunch up right by

> Josh's seat and, with Josh's space issues and the change in

routine, he pulled a girl's hair.  The aide on the bus said he could

have handled the whole thing just fine but the classroom aide jumped

on the bus, pulled Josh off, and stood outside the bus yelling at him

face to face.  Of course, the principal denied anything like that

happening, and the classroom aide said it simply didn't happen and he

had no problems with Josh.  The bus driver, on the other hand, said

she was so upset by it that she was practically in tears by the time

she returned the bus to the garage, and the bus aide said he was so

disturbed and appalled by how the other aide handled things that he

was furious.  I called a meeting. I said, by the time the meeting

took place, I didn't care what happened really since there were so

many different versions of what happened coming my way and there was

no way to really know.  What I did care about was it not happening

again so we

> talked about strategies, etc.  I also said that the classroom aide

should not be near Josh unless he does something major to change how

he deals with my son.  The aide still is working with Josh.  The bus

driver was pulled off the route.  Go figure.

>

> There was also a conversation with Josh's teacher that I had last

Fall where she said Josh was acting out so much that it took two

people to hold him down.  Gotta tell ya, Josh has never acted out

like that - never!  So my gut was telling me that they simply didn't

have a clue what to do with Josh.  We had another meeting and

reviewed strategies, methods, words, trigger words, how to

understand " Josh-speak, "  all of that. 

>

> School decided it was necessary to do a functional behavior

analysis.  OK, I'm all for that, let's work together to come up with

a plan and actually write down the strategies we had discussed and

others.  My ex and I also said we would take Josh to a

therapist/counselor to see what that private sector professional

could add to the mix.  After every session, I would (and still do -

the ex has yet to participate in the sessions) send long emails

detailing all the ideas and suggestions from the counselor - none of

them were ever  implemented at school - it was always " well we

haven't.... "   I take part of that back, school did try one or two

ideas but determined they were not working (OK, Josh processes things

in his own time - a week or two trying a strategy is not enough for

Josh to internalize it and learn it) so stopped doing the couple they

tried after only a couple of attempts.

>

> Holiday break came in - absolutely no more nightmares, Josh did

great over the holiday season, we had tons of fun and did some school

work along the way.  School started in January and things were good

for a couple of weeks.  Then Josh started with the " tummy hurt " thing

again, or his head hurt, or whatever (there is nothing physically

wrong that would cause any of that).

>

> We had our p-t conference two weeks ago.  Josh has progressed in

math and literacy skills, but has regressed in social and self-help

skills.  Hhhmmm...  They also presented us with the functional

behavior analysis and behavior plan.  The assessment, from my

understanding, was supposed to be across environments - take into

account things from home, sleep patterns, school things, curriculum

things, and so on.  Nope.  This assessment pretty much said Josh is

hitting.  Period.  Oh, it did say when and where.  Pretty much

nothing about all the circumstances that surround an incident, no

mention (that I can recall) in the analysis of Josh having sensory

integration dysfunction and cognitive delays (along with the apraxia,

global dyspraxia, and so on).  We finished talking about the

analysis - the ex sucked up and said he was really impressed with the

assessment and thought they did a marvelous job.  The plan included

different behaviors that they

> wanted to stop and, under each one, a series of methods for

dealing with the behavior.  For example, under hitting, there was a

continuum from pretty much saying cut it out, to blocking him from

view of the other kids with a movable baffle (there were also things

like holding his hands, to using a " wrong hands " card that was put on

his desk and the baffle put up - you get the idea.)  We talked about

some of the various strategies/methods for the various behaviors, and

moved on to another subject (whether to send Josh to jr. h.s. a year

early so he'd be there for 3 years instead of 2 - can help him with

the transition and then the transition to h.s. later but he is pretty

immature so the decision is difficult).  We never talked about the

last page of the behavior plan.  During the course of the conference,

the PT and OT both had constructive input, the school psych was

diplomatic and had good input, the teacher limited her comments to

academic

> assessment results, school principal had opinion on jr h.s. (he

thinks extra year would be good for a kid with Josh's particular

needs), speech therapist didn't say a word, and school social worker

said a couple of things but I can't remember what they were.

>

> The ex and I left the conference, went our separate ways, and we

both happened to look at the last page of the plan and were both

horrified.  The last strategy was  that if staff and teacher believe

Josh is a danger or harm to himself or other kids, they can  use " CPI

restraints and holds. " OMG!!!  If you don't know what those are, plug

that phrase into the search engine.  You'll be horrified as well. 

So, I went to bridges4kids. org and found a " no-restraint " letter

(wrightslaw has the same letter).   I did put in the letter that I

didn't think the assessment was done as fully and adequately as it

should have been and, if the Dist. agreed, it could consider the

letter as consent to conduct another assessment that would include

input from the ex and me, and be done across environments and times. 

The ex and I both signed it.  I mailed the letter to the heads of

special ed for the district and the school principal.  (oh, during

all this,

> I've been working with the head of special ed to arrange a visit

to the jr h.s. Josh would go to - I started out gung ho on the idea

because of the extra transition time but now I'm really torn on the

issue and want to see firsthand what it would be like; the ex is

adamantly opposed because of Josh's maturity level but has said he

doesn't want to be " obstructionist " and would go along with whatever

Josh's teacher and the school psychologist said because " they would

be most objective " - I seem to be getting along fine with the head of

special ed even in light of my no-restraint letter.)

>

> Well, the teacher is now either not communicating with me or is

minimally/snippy in her communications.  She wrote on Monday that

Josh went to OT/PT (it's a combined group thing that the ex and I

never thought was appropriate for Josh but couldn't get the Dist to

give him what he was supposed to have which was 1:1 OT and 1:1 PT -

the 1:1 OT finally started in October - after fighting for sensory

based OT for over a year, and 1:1 PT just started yesterday after the

PT " reluctantly " decided the group thing wasn't working for Josh -

duh!), he hit someone and then laid down on the floor refusing to

participate.  In the margin of the notebook, I wrote " How was it

handled? " and " What was the activity? " and another question that I

can't remember right now.  Her response was " We followed the behavior

plan. "   I was livid but calmed down before I wrote back that perhaps

I didn't ask the question properly since the behavior plan shows a

continuum of methods and

> I was wondering which method was used, and that I would like to

know so that I can get a better handle on just what Josh's behaviors

are and whether the methods are being successful.  She wrote back

that if I read the behavior plan it would show 7 different strategies

for dealing with Josh hitting and they have, a lot of the time,

success with method #1 (the least invasive/restrictiv e) although they

use different ones depending on Josh's mood. 

>

> So, I thanked her for letting me know, that it means a lot to

understand the situation (as if her response actually answered the

question I posed).  No communication from her Wed., yesterday, or

today even though there were things that I had written to her that

would have prompted a response (totally not behavior stuff - a funny

thing that happened with Josh, notice that the ex was picking him up

yesterday for a visit, an apology for sending an oversized book for a

book thing they were doing today, wishing a good weekend, that kind

of thing).  I'm thinking the relationship with the teacher, what

there was of one, has now gone down the toilet.

>

> Anyone have any suggestions or comments on any of this?  I would

ask for a meeting but the state standardized testing is starting on

Monday and I know everyone at school is stressing out about it and I

don't think I should add to the stress level - testing will be over

soon enough.  I'm really at my wit's end with all of this so I'm open

to all suggestions (including ones that include " go get a massage and

relax! " LOL!)

>

> Thanks for listening!

>

> Sherry and Josh

>

>