News and View from Horizon Family Solutions, LLC

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News and View from Horizon Family Solutions, LLC

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Building upon 17 years of success in assisting families with their teens

When

When people show you who they are, believe them the first time. ~ Maya

Angelou

Horizon Family Solutions News & Views

This newsletter is dedicated to the memory of Dr. Lynn Bossert Snyder,

Developmental Psychologist. Lynn and I first started speaking about her son

three years ago and since then she has been an avid reader and supporter of

this newsletter. She wrote a testimonial for my site and always encouraged

me to continue with the passion I have of assisting children and families.

She really liked the Top 10 List I sent out in December and it was so kind

of her to take time to write me such a detailed email about her appreciation

of the time I had given her and her family years before. Lynn had written a

paper in the 1970's about children as chattel in the United States legal

system and larger societal view. It saddened her that she had not see the

changes she had hoped to see by now. I had no idea that this wonderful and

blessed email filled with so many feelings would be the last communication I

would ever have with this beautiful soul. On December 20, 2008 Lynn sent me

an email that is to be used in my book - One Size Does Not Fit All .

Lynn went missing on January 26th and then her car was found in the parking

lot of a church on February 3rd and Lynn was found inside the car.

Detectives are still investigating.

As you said to me Lynn I now say to you as you take this next journey ~

~ With all you are and all you have to offer, I know the best outcomes are

unfolding in your life now.

Many blessings Lynn and thank you!

Dear Terry,

I spent a couple of years as a consultant for one of Forbes.com's B2B Best

of the Web Technology companies. One image from those years particularly

stands out in my mind: a wooden plaque that sat on a software engineer's

desk that said THINK. It was a constant motivator to do just that. Every

business knows it's success depends on brainpower. The notion that we can

harness our mental might to invent solutions to almost any challenge

inspires me.

We may feel lost in a maze during these tough economic times, however, with

bold new thinking we can find ourselves a brighter future. Out of

desperation can come innovation.

I am an out-of-the-box thinker. I am passionate about assisting families and

their children, I am persistent about thinking of new ways to offer services

to parents and professionals, and I am committed to a cause that is a part

of whom I am in this life.

I share my dreams and my optimism as I continue to " do " .

Looking ahead, 2009 is a year of creativity, new ideas, visions, and with

all of that comes risk-taking. I find that exciting. We have a new

president, whom by all early indicators, is serious about making the changes

he promised.

We also have change here at Horizon Family Solutions with the launch of our

new website - www.troubledteenhelp.com.

After four months of creation, the new site launched in late January.

I am thrilled at the feedback I have been receiving.

I am thrilled that I had the opportunity to have worked at a leading

eBusiness Operating System company, which taught me so much about creating

websites and optimization. I am respectful of the challenges that lie ahead

in keeping my intention and vision of the new site. In truth, these are

tricky times for anyone, whether you are running a company, a country or a

household. Experience helps.

I appreciate now more than ever my long years as my father's business

manager at his three veterinary hospitals. I appreciate my nearly two years

as a journalist at a small Milpitas, California newspaper. I have spent the

past fifteen years, very happy years, as a child advocate and educational

consultant. I grew up in California, and have been working since age

fourteen. I now juggle my career, eating right, exercise time, family, all

while finding meaning and purpose in life. And, oh yeah, I also make sure I

find some fun along the way.

Family, good health, community, giving back, having fun, spiritual security.

That is all most people want. Isn't it? Helping each other achieve dreams is

a great mission in life. People are the most valuable part of life as far as

I am concerned. As long as we are rich in each other, we will be just fine.

I have heard that there are those out there who have comments and

suggestions for me. Call me or send me an email.

I am open to hearing your ideas about what I am doing!

Sincerely,

Dore E. Frances, M.A.

Horizon Family Solutions, LLC

(541) 312-4422

dore@...

P.S. When you have a few minutes, please take our parent survey

The Overlooked Population ~ Adolescent Sexual Addiction

Part Two on the Series

One by one, well known individuals are putting a face on the problem of

adolescent sexual addiction.

And adolescents have different kinds of addictive behavior than adults.

Some of them will fall into the " love " or " relationship " category, are

promiscuous, or engage in simultaneous relationships.

The addicted adolescent who forges relationships is often desperate to

attach to a partner and may even view them as their soul-mate. Intensity is

the hallmark of addictive relationships and adolescents often mistake

intensity for intimacy.

The " romance " addicts are interested in the thrill of the chase.

Increasing numbers of adolescents are becoming addicted to visual

pornography, especially Internet pornography. These adolescents and teens

are being pulled in by the accessibility, affordability, and anonymity of

the Internet. About 38% of all adolescents access Internet pornography each

month. Some believe that our culture is literally rewiring adolescent's

brains to be more visually oriented.

Especially younger adolescents, who are raised in media saturated

environments and are quite engaged by visual pornography.

Adolescents are also connecting in Internet chat rooms where sex is the hot

topic and some are participating in cybersex.

What exactly is cybersex? Mostly, just talking dirty to each other via typed

text - describing in detail who is doing what to whom, and how they feel

doing it. Video-conferencing is another newer feature of cyberspace. Using a

video camera and microphone, people can see and hear each other as they

talk. One dilemma of online life is that you can never be sure that other

people indeed are who they say they are. That 17 year old flirtatious girl

could be a 44 year old man.

Some chat rooms are supervised in order to protect children from predatory

adults.

Many are not. Even in those communities that are well supervised, there is

little that can be done to prevent predatory adults from pretending to be

teens in order to win the favors of young people.

When a predator doesn't use an adolescent disguise, he (and usually they are

males) may present himself as a supportive, sympathetic confidant who

encourages the adolescent to discuss personal problems and become

emotionally attached to him.

Troubled adolescents who feel alienated from their parents are especially

vulnerable.

Several Axis I and Axis II disorders may be present in sexually addicted

teens, and one of those conditions is often the presenting problem. For

example, sexual activity may be a part of an adolescent's chemical abuse or

dependency. In other words, an adolescent may have a problem with compulsive

sex only when they are impaired by alcohol or drugs. Depression or dysthymia

are often presenting problems. Adolescents may also suffer from post

traumatic stress disorder as a result of a trauma experience.

Adolescent sexual addiction, especially for those addicted to fantasy often

involves an incredible feeling of power. One of the most pervasive

misunderstandings about adolescent sexual addiction is the belief that this

compulsion is about sex. In fact, it is not about sex at all. These teens

keep a terrible secret, and isolation is the cost.

Obviously these teens must hide their problems from everyone.

It is impossible, then, for true connections with anyone to exist because

there is a lack of basic honesty.

Horizon Family Solutions specializes in assisting families who have an

adolescent who is struggling with inappropriate sexual behavior.

Next Month: Last part of the series - Roots of Sexual Addiction

Fear of being alone in their behavior keeps many teens silent about their

disease.

Better than sending the kids to boot camp!

World's Strictest Parents, Inc. and the producers of SUPERNANNY are now

searching for rebellious teenagers for a brand new series.

Teens are you rebellious? Are you tired of your parents' rules and

restrictions?

Ever thought about what it would be like living with really strict parents?

If you would like a short vacation from your parents and are up for the

challenge, the casting team wants to hear from you!

This is an opportunity for teens to go live with another family and trade in

their parents for a new set for almost an entire week.

Call 888-41-TEENS (1-888-418-3367) for more information.

" This is a really exciting show and a chance for rebellious teenagers who

want to change their ways to learn about how other families bring up their

teenage kids, " said executive producer Nick Emmerson about the show which is

set to start filming in 2009.

The casting team is looking for teenagers (with parental approval) from

every type of background who are ready to participate in a social experiment

exploring the world of the 21st century teenager matched against

contemporary parenting styles.

The producers are seeking teens with unique interests; technically savvy

teens; hippies; urbanites; slobs; surfers; affluent teens; liberals; defiant

teens; and teens who have ordinary or extraordinary circumstances.

Interested teens may apply from anywhere via

http://www.theworldsstrictestparents.com.

They can also call 888-41-TEENS (1- 888-418-3367) or email

teens@... for more information.

The producers of this show are based in Los Angeles and also have offices in

London and Brighton. The production company is one of the leading

independent production companies of high quality un-scripted television

programming in the United States and abroad.

The international phenomenon, SUPERNANNY, launched the company in the United

States where they are building an innovative reputation for creating

transformational, critically acclaimed reality based documentary style

television.

Families of Successful Students in Residential Treatment Have ......

Open, emotional sharing.

Clear communication.

Families of successful students who are in residential treatment and even

those in wilderness treatment have frequent nurturing conversations, either

on the phone or in writing in which children receive affirming messages

about their strengths and uniqueness, and not just about their failures and

your disappointments.

In addition, family members, even divorced parents, need to have empathy for

each other and make themselves available for emotional support during the

tough times that can happen while a child is in treatment.

Moreover, family members view each other as capable, competent, and

basically healthy in mind, body and spirit.

Okay, divorced parents do not need to love each other, but respect can go a

long way, even when disagreeing.

Families need to use clear communication in their interactions with each

other. There is consistency between what is said and what is done. Since

this is usually one of the strong points of many programs, this also must be

happening with the parents and other siblings back at home. In addition,

during therapy calls, you need to openly discuss criticisms, complaints,

personal fears, stresses, and other feelings with each other rather than

censoring such topics from conversation. If you do not discuss them now,

while you have support, they will come up later. Will you be prepared?

Other articles of interest

Don't fail to innovate in troubling times

This article is focused towards all treatment professionals. We all know

about the results of the bad mortgage lending and all the rest that brought

us to where we are today. The jury is still out on whether the massive

bailout to the financial industry will help the country in the long-run, and

few people I have spoken with seem excited about the multi-million dollar

loans to automakers. With the exception on Wal-Mart and a few others, most

will not escape the catastrophic reduction in business that the nation is

experiencing.

We all know people who will not retire as planned; we all know people who

have lost their jobs; and most people I speak with are concerned about

security and life as they have come to expect it. We who are employed in the

work of professionally treating adolescents, teens and young adults, look to

how the global recession will affect our speciality. Let me cite just a few

of the ways I have already witnessed. Private practitioners are seeing fewer

clients with resources to pay for individual private residential treatment

or wilderness. Census in residential treatment and wilderness programs has

fallen off, most notable in 2008's forth quarter.

Programs that rely exclusively on self-pay and those with a high percentage

that have had previous families use their own personal resources are the

first to suffer. Programs that depend on insurance are seeing fewer

admissions as employer sponsored health coverage tightens. And least we

forget, one cannot use employer sponsored health insurance when unemployed.

What any business does when income falls because of external factors is to

turn immediately to the task of bringing expenses in line with reduced

revenue.

Smart business leaders work to get ahead of the curve and anticipate the

worst-case scenario. In other words, they cut spending as aggressively as

possible and ride out the storm.

Prices for services are typically reduced as a means of stimulating

business. I have currently seen evidence of this in residential and

wilderness treatment programs.

Many programs are offering discounts and flexible terms.

As treatment professionals we are not in the business of selling toys for

Christmas. We are in the business of healing, of actually saving lives.

Regardless of this noble calling, all of the best programs still employ,

must employ tired and true employees that are well trained and experienced.

Business managers, CEO's, Executive Directors, Founders all must have a

business strategy and must make critical decisions to save money while still

providing the best of their unique services. Dedicated professionals are

right to be concerned that cutting spending, and that means personnel costs

and countless other items that are critical to providing excellent care, can

threaten quality. Where treatment quality might be most vulnerable is in

organizations where business leadership is far removed from the actual

services being provided. In these circumstances, business managers and

clinical leaders need to be encouraged to close this separation immediately,

and work to establish consensus regarding decisions that serve to enhance

efficiencies. Professional staff with a sense of ownership in the process

surely will have a stronger stake in the solutions put forth in any

successful plan of action. Collaborative processes have proven to be wise.

They breed trust. Without thorough and timely communication within an

organization, the potential exists for distrust, fear and misunderstanding.

This is a time when business people and clinical people need to come

together more than ever before.

Clarity of intention and purpose about the challenges that lie ahead is

essential. A strategy for these times is not just about cutting costs. There

must be room for innovation. Cuts buy a business time, that's all. Smart

businesses preserve at least some if its resources derived from reduced

spending to invest in --- that's right, to spend on --- innovation. After

all, when an organization simply gets smaller and less costly to operate, it

will only have a " wait and see " strategy for the future.

The residential treatment and wilderness treatment industry cannot simply

raise the umbrella and wit for the storm to pass.

We absolutely must be working to launch a strategy at the first sign of sun,

if not before. Bringing innovation into this industry is not meant to imply

that treatment providers look wildly outside of what they do best and

implement a completely new service.

Although diversity is quite often an aim of innovation, you first need to

look at core strengths. Make certain you continue to embrace what you do

best. Then take your expertise and do more of it. Applaud the small

victories and chart progress.

It is very important to remember that no amount of brains or even experience

surpasses the importance of your passion.

Look among the industry. What sustains people more than anything else over

time is their spirit, their sense of mission and a continued devotion to

helping restore the lives of the children and families they assist.

Perhaps this will answer the question as to what created my passion to

launch TroubledTeenHelp.com,com.

I also encourage every program and school that pays anyone for advertising

to use Google Analytics. It is free and valuable.

Every program and school that pays anyone for advertising needs this tool to

gain rich insight into their website traffic.

You need to know where your visitors come from and how they interact with

your site. Create ROI marketing campaigns.

Dore E. Frances, M.A. is the Founder of Horizon Family Solutions, LLC, an

educational consulting firm based in Bend, Oregon.

Unexpected moments that can change our lives are just a hop, skip, jump and

coincidence away

For many people, the phrase " living in uncertain times " , is a way of

expressing fear that something bad may be around the corner.

When you actually think about it, every day is uncertain. Even every hour.

When it comes to life's unpredictability, I believe you have two choices:

either greet each day afraid of all the things you cannot control, or open

yourself to whatever may be coming in the next minute. When you choose the

second option, you may be fascinated by what chance encounters or

adventures, and unexpected moments of delight, can come your way and

enlighten you, surprise you, and even change your life. Change is just a

hop, skip, jump and coincidence away. My own life has been filled with

unexpected happenings and twists, and I know I am in for more. I believe in

arming yourself with as much knowledge as possible, because I want to

understand about things I don't understand. I don't like being caught off

guard - but it has happened more times than I can count!

I can tell you from my own experiences that it is empowering to learn the

facts, and be well informed, about that which brings passion to your life.

Yes, it keeps you busy, and you have to find where it is a priority (or not)

in your life. Speaking of busy, don't forget to check our Breaking News

articles. And while juggling that I also found some new books to recommend

so check out the Bookstore. Yes, I work hard to find and keep balance in my

life.

That is a challenge we all seem to be facing. Many of us wear so many

different hats, and the truth is, for many, obligations can numb you to

exciting possibilities that may come your way.

Every day brings new invitations, new memories to be made, new

opportunities. Keep your eyes open so you do not miss what the universe has

in store for you. I hope that this month you will be encouraged to open

yourself up to whatever undiscovered joys, and undiscovered opportunities be

may be out there waiting for you. Be ready for life, be ready for

life-altering moments, be ready to enjoy that which brings passion to you.

The moments will only be there for you to receive them when your eyes are

opened.

Are you ready .......?

Dore E. Frances, M.A.

Horizon Family Solutions, LLC

1145 N.W. Knoxville Blvd.

Bend, Oregon 97701

(541) 312-4422

Need something to do? Check our Conference Calendar.

Other Information that be a valuable resource:

Parent View of a teen in crisis

List of Local Resources

In This Issue

The Overlooked Population ~ Adolescent Sexual Addiction

Better than sending the kids to boot camp!

Families of Successful Students in Residential Treatment

Don't fail to innovate in troubling times

Special Education Series...Part Three...IEP (Individual Education Plan

Our attitudes toward life

Special Education Series

Part Three

IEP (Individual Education Plan)

The IEP is developed at an IEP Team Meeting where most decisions regarding

your child's education future are determined.

The IEP is an important legal document that is the center piece for Special

Education instruction and services.

The law says who must be present at an IEP Team Meeting and requires that at

least one parent be in attendance. Assessment results and recommendations

are presented at an IEP Team Meeting along with a report of the student's

current performance levels.

The determination of eligibility for special education services is made by

the IEP Team.

Due to the importance of IEP Team Meeting, I recommend that you consult with

an experienced education advocate prior to attending the meeting. It is best

to have an advocate participate in IEP's concerning assessment reports and

placement decisions. You are entitled to receive assessment reports in a

" reasonable time " in advance of the IEP Team Meeting.

The IEP Team Meeting document becomes the plan for your child's immediate

education future. It needs to include a list of the services the child is to

receive, the goals and objectives for each of these services, and any

additional information in the form of notes taken from the discussions held

by the IEP Team in the meeting.

The importance of the IEP Team Meeting can not be overstated. When you do

not agree with the services being offered by your school district, you have

the option of signing the IEP for " attendance only " and having your concerns

included in the notes. You have to carefully read the IEP as well as the IEP

Team Meeting notes of the discussions to make sure you agree with what is

being offered. You have the right to require that additional material be

added to the notes voicing your concerns and objections. You are entitled to

copies of all pages of the IEP as well as the assessments and reports

presented at the IEP. I recommend recording the IEP Team Meeting. To do this

you have to notify the school district in advance that you are going to be

doing this.

You have the right at the IEP to present the results of any outside

assessments you have had performed and they must be included in the IEP.

If you have assessment results available when the assessments are being

performed, you need to give the district copies of your assessment reports

so that they can include them in determining their recommendations.

When you can not get your student what you agree is needed at the IEP, then

you can file for Due Process. This is an administrative law hearing in which

a judge hears evidence and renders a decision that is binding on the school

district.

Resources to find an Education Advocate:

Council of Parent Attorneys and Advocates

Family Matters Group

s Law

Next Month - Assessments

Our attitudes toward life

By Tim Law

Please listen to this brief audio

Our attitudes are a choice and we decide how we are going to look at the

world.

Life is a series of choices that we make on a daily basis.

Whether we view the glass as half empty or half full is a good example of

expressing optimism or pessimism with our circumstances. One of the best

quotes I have come across is by Swindoll and it goes as follows:

" The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the

past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than

successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important

than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company...a

church...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day

regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our

past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We

cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one

thing we have, and that is our attitude...I am convinced that life is 10%

what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are

in charge of our attitudes. "

It has been said that attitudes determine the quality of life for all of us.

Understanding what we focus on and how we look at and process this

information will directly impact every part of our life. For example, having

an attitude of gratitude is a key component in further enjoying our life.

How many things can you currently think of that you may be taking for

granted but are incredible gifts? Assuming you have all your senses in

reasonably good working order, doesn't it make sense to be grateful for

these? How about all the other working and thinking parts of your body that

absolutely contribute to the joy of our life?

How about your friends and family? You probably have a number of wonderful

people in your life who have given you a great deal over the years.

The ability to appreciate nature and all her beauty is truly a gift of

having a good attitude toward life.

We all have a great deal to be grateful for IF we will FOCUS on some of

these things.

Unfortunately, many people have the opposite strategy and the glass is

always half empty.

There are so many things to be grateful for in our country regarding all the

opportunities and chances to grow and improve ourselves. Freedom is one of

the greatest gifts we have and we have plenty of that in the U.S. Perhaps

one of nation's biggest disadvantages has to do with the huge number of

choices we do have here. We can have literally anything we want in this

country if we just DECIDE what it is that we want! By combining your

attitude with some specific goals, you can do and become as great a person

as you choose! Develop the habit of an attitude of gratitude and you will

undoubtedly rapidly increase the wonderful things you are attracting into

your life.

Remember, it's a choice!

Tim Law may be contacted at: tlaw5111@...

Website: www.successlearningsystems.com

March 4, 2009, Bend, Oregon

Adolescent Crisis Intervention - Exploring Options - Invited Speaker - Dore

Frances, M.A.

Elan School is a co-educational, independent, residential, special-purpose

school, serving grades 8 through 12.

Summit Preparatory School is an accredited private non-profit therapeutic

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Offer Expires: March 31, 2009

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