Josh Land and the School

February 28, 2009

Sherry:

I feel so sorry for what the shool is putting you through.

On the one hand they are frustrated with Josh (communication)

behavior, but they leave you in a position of not being

able to fully help the situation by closing you out and not

communicating with you, as if you're trying to make them

answer to you. It's so ridiculous, they are creating this

frustration for themselves.

I would personally start looking for a more appropriate placement

His private doctors, neuros, etc., probably know of better

schools that their other patients who have children with

similiar back grounds to Josh's have put their kids in.

Me personally I wouldn't let my child start a grade earlier.

I have twins, one is typically developing the other has Autism

and is in a contained school environment where he is doing

very well. However, the typically developing one is extremely

smart book-wise, a honors student. So they said that I

could skip a year of pre-school and let him start the kindergarten

early. I declined because he was too immature and let's just face

it kids can be mean. I think putting him in with children who may

be more mature than him may damage his selfesteem and turn him off

to wanting to be in school all together. If they have a " summer "

program I would try to get him in it, so that he can develop some

relationships and because its more informal.

Also, the more you show up at a school, the more they find time to

communicate with you via writing, e-mail, or phone.

Good Luck,

February 28, 2009

Hi -

Thanks - putting Josh in jr h.s. a year early is such a difficult decision!

There have been other kids with transition issues that have been placed in jr

h.s. a year early and did OK, but you're right, the older kids, especially in jr

h.s., can just be mean! That is one of the many reasons for not doing it. On

the other hand, there is the possibility that kids in his class now (it's a

multi-age class) will be going to jr h.s. as 7th graders, while Josh would be

doing his 6th grade year at the school, and they would be in the same

classroom. So, he would have kids he knows in his class (hopefully), and that

would make the transition a bit easier. But, you're absolutely right, there are

other kids that could maybe make life miserable for him. I just don't know.

That's why I want to go to the school, meet the principal, the teacher, see the

class and the school, and so on. I just think having as much info as possible

before making the

decision is important. There is a summer program (extended school year for the

special ed kids) that would be at the jr h.s. so that is a possibility.

As for looking for a different school, at Josh's last session, I asked his

therapist his opinion on sending Josh to jr h.s. early. He asked me what the

options were - so I told him go to jr h.s. early for three years instead of two,

stay where he is for 6th grade and do the usual 7-8th grades in jr. h.s., or

move to a totally different district or school. His response was to go visit

the jr h.s. and see what the situation was, then we'd talk again. Honestly, I

am looking to buy a house and have been focusing in this school district, but I

am not eliminating the possibility of moving somewhere else!

Thanks!

Sherry and Josh

________________________________

From: acalli466 <acalli466@...>

Sent: Saturday, February 28, 2009 10:31:24 PM

Subject: [ ] Josh Land and the School

Sherry:

I feel so sorry for what the shool is putting you through.

On the one hand they are frustrated with Josh (communication)

behavior, but they leave you in a position of not being

able to fully help the situation by closing you out and not

communicating with you, as if you're trying to make them

answer to you. It's so ridiculous, they are creating this

frustration for themselves.

I would personally start looking for a more appropriate placement

His private doctors, neuros, etc., probably know of better

schools that their other patients who have children with

similiar back grounds to Josh's have put their kids in.

Me personally I wouldn't let my child start a grade earlier.

I have twins, one is typically developing the other has Autism

and is in a contained school environment where he is doing

very well. However, the typically developing one is extremely

smart book-wise, a honors student. So they said that I

could skip a year of pre-school and let him start the kindergarten

early. I declined because he was too immature and let's just face

it kids can be mean. I think putting him in with children who may

be more mature than him may damage his selfesteem and turn him off

to wanting to be in school all together. If they have a " summer "

program I would try to get him in it, so that he can develop some

relationships and because its more informal.

Also, the more you show up at a school, the more they find time to

communicate with you via writing, e-mail, or phone.

Good Luck,

March 2, 2009

I tried to figure out where this post started and I just decided to

post my reply here on this one. I read most (not all) of the post

about Josh and I feel led to tell you what happened with my son.

First, let me give you the scenario. My son was in PRE-K4 and always

sick, all the time, at school. He was potty trained and just needed

reminders every hour to go, which was in his IEP. He was doing well

with Signed Language, which the school did not want to keep up with

him. (They said he just " needed to drop it and learn to talk

verbally " .) He received group speech therapy with another boy and no

individualized therapy weekly. At this time, the speech therapist was

sending reports home that he was doing CVCV combinations and doing

well at school. The Special Ed teacher knew limited sign language, as

did the speech therapist, and it is assumed that the general ed.

teacher knew none. I told the school he knew limited sign language,

but could express his wants and needs wth two to three word sentences

and I did not exactly tell them just how much he knew. It would not

have mattered anyway because he signed very little at school and more

at home and they did not believe me anyway...so they said.

Here is the story, numerous times I would show up unannounced and my

son was wearing DIAPERS, not pullups and definitely not the underwear

I was sending to school. He was coming home every day with dirty

underwear in bags (and many days he was in pull-ups with his clean

underwear piled up in his cubby...so I saw later)and this is why they

said he was firstly in pullups. Then when I noticed his pants started

coming home clean all the time, after confrontation, I found out they

had reverted him to diapers. Boy, was I inflamed! There were many

things my son " tried " to verbalize to me and the signs he was

creating were incomprehensible to me. As the school year went on, he

looked as if he were DYING. He was always sick, he was not gaining

weight, and his eyes looked like raccoon eyes. I was losing my son.

had diminished and they said he did not eat much. (He was supposed to

be on a gluten free diet, but my guess is that they were not adhering

to it, as I would get reports he ate " Cheetos " for lunch.)

Of course, I put them on the spot about the diapers and demanded that

the IEP be followed and he wear his underwear. (Yes, it was in the

IEP!) I also put the ST on the line and told her I would like to hear

him saying CVCV combinations because he was in no way doing this at

home as was denotedin her weekly reports. (And he was not at school

either!)At this time, there was no formal diagnosis of Verbal

Apraxia, although I was in the process of digging deeper to get to

the root of my son's problems an the eventual diagnosis of Apraxia.

Shortly thereafter, my son came home with a bag of dirty DIRTY

underwear that had not been rinsed out in the toilet.I asked him why

he was in a diaper and he began to cry. He gave me the " sign " for

someone choking him. On further questioning, I discovered it was a

parapro!! I went to check his daily folder and the teacher (who knew

about 10 words in sign language) had mentioned that he must have

a " sore throat " because he kept coming up to her with his hand around

his throat trying to tell her something, but he seemed frustrated

because she did not understand. (He had gone to the doctor the day or

so before and had a strep test that was negative...nothing wrong with

his throat.)Then I " KNEW " my son was telling the truth. He had left

the playground with the parapro to go potty and they had already

expressed exasperation with doing so at " play time " and how it

was " an inconvenience " to do so at a previous IEP meeting.

Apparently, this parapro had become enraged with my son because he

had gone several times and was having bowel issues or trouble holding

it until potty time and so she threatened him and choked him. (Other

things begin to make a whole lot of sense like why he refused to even

look up at this same parapro when we had on a previous date seen her

at the store! It was just not like him. He is a lovable and friendly

boy! At that time, I did not understand and I actually mistakenly

scolded my son.) He was emotionally scarred from it,but I knew that

no one would ever again be so cruel to my son. ENRAGED, but not sure

what to do because things had been severely turned around on me

before, I withdrew my son from school.

If a bus driver told me that my child was being YELLED at in the

manner that you say, and I had no choice but to keep him at public

school, I would call a meeting WITH THAT BUS DRIVER and then take my

child to a psychiatrist regarding the incident (to get documentation,

as I am not so sure that much else can be done for your child as long

as the child remains in the environment that he is obviously so

scared of). Although I do understand your reluctance because the

gov't has a way of turning things around.

So many people can team up at the school, which can leave the bus

driver alone in her testimony. Nonetheless, " I " did not want ANY run-

in's with DFCS and they would have been called had I reported this. I

was not going there with my son,who cannot speak intelligibly. They

could have easily turned it around on me.

Instead, I got documentation to keep him home (due to chronic

pulmonary infiltrates) and now, I am fighting a (different) school

system to get therapy in-home for him. BUT on the other hand, my son

is SAFE; he is NOT SCARED; he is not ABUSED either verbally or

physically, and he is NOT EMOTIONALLY TRAUMATIZED any more. His

speech is improving well here with me at home and there are no false

reports from school speech therapists any more. We have a correct

diagnosis for him and he gets one on one speech therapy from me. Yes,

we are in a fight for in-home therapy from the school, but there is

no horror story beyond that.

In Georgia alone, I have seen so many news reports of children with

special needs being abused in the public schools that I am so alarmed

on why more accountability is not following on the reported

incidents. My son will never be in that situation ever again and the

problem was resolved immediately and without delay, as I resolved it.

Had I gone another route, I may not even have my son, because we also

have a corrupt and inadequate social services system. I had two

choices and I think I made the right one. Had our lives been

different and we had not already suffered mal effects from the social

service systems at the root of ignorance, I would have chosen to call

the police and we probably would have been the next news story.

I " do " believe the bus driver. And I think you should also. There is

no motive for the bus driver lying. Even though they switched her

route, you call still call and talk to her or go and see her and talk

to her, and I WOULD right away. When a red flag goes up,do not ignore

it.

Your son is frightened to go to school and with GOOD CAUSE. You have

some serious decisions to make. Start with your child's Primary Care

Physician and explain the situation.

I feel so bad for you. :0(

March 2, 2009

" I " do " believe the bus driver. And I think you should also. There is

no motive for the bus driver lying. Even though they switched her

route, you call still call and talk to her or go and see her and talk

to her, and I WOULD right away. When a red flag goes up,do not ignore

it. "

I absolutely agree that the bus driver had no motive to lie. What possible

motive could there have been? On the other hand, the principal had at least

two reasons for not being truthful or forthcoming in his version of the event -

according to the bus driver, it was the principal's coming on the bus that

caused the kids to bunch up right around Josh and Josh got so startled and

nervous that he pulled a little girl's hair (she was fine - she yelled out but

then told the bus driver she was OK and she understood that " it was just

Josh " ) so the principal wanted to remove himself from any causation. He also

had a reason because he had to be behind his staff. You should have seen the

classroom aide at the meeting we called about the incident - he sat there with

his arms crossed in a defensive stance, his legs were crossed, he never looked

at us until I purposely addressed him and asked him a direct question - which he

was not exactly forthcoming

with. The bus driver, when she initially told me about the incident, was so

apologetic - she said they made her write the incident up but she included that

it was not a malicious act by Josh and it was an accident - so I don't know if

talking to her or reporting the incident to anyone else at this point would do

any good. The day they switched her route, I asked the new driver and the aide

(who remained on the bus even after the incident) what happened and their

response was they change routes all the time but don't give reasons. Hhhmm....

I'm actually just grateful they didn't switch the aide - Josh gets along with

him really well and he provides a calming influence, I think, during the ride

and when Josh gets to school (the new driver is wonderful as well so I've got no

complaints about them!). Unfortunately, the classroom aide is still getting him

off the bus even though I've repeatedly asked that someone else do it. The

teacher's

response had been they alternate people (garbage) but every day Josh says it

was the one aide that got him off the bus, and I've asked the bus aide who's

been getting Josh off and he says it's usually the one classroom aide.

Yes, there are some tough decisions. The problems we're having now in the

elementary school are influencing my decision on whether to send Josh a year

early into the jr h.s. - but I can't help but wonder what is going to follow him

to the jr h.s. - something that I will find out when I get the request in for

his full school file and get that read through. It should be interesting

reading.

Thanks for your concern and support -

Sherry and Josh

________________________________

From: <agirlnamedsuess@...>

Sent: Monday, March 2, 2009 11:11:38 AM

Subject: [ ] Re: Josh Land and the School