social skills

[Guest guest]

>He said 12 schools in San Diego have adopted a program he works with

>where staff are trained to model certain social behaviors (such as making

>amends when you hurt someone's feelings). This goes a long way to creating

>a more compassionate social climate and has substantially decreased

>violence at schools, for one thing.

>

What a sad society when teachers have to be trained to apologize for

something they should be doing instinctively....

______________________________________________________

Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com

[Guest guest]

Hi Kathy:

Thanks for the encouragement on the social skills front.

You wrote:

For a

while I was really worried about him showing and feeling empathy, and he is

doing very, very well with that.

Kelsey needs work in this area too. In her case, she's always had poor social

skills, but

it seems to be more noticeable now as other kids her age have gotten much more

sophisticated. Mark Katz made the comment that " social climate " is all

important. (I

thought of your struggles here, Lesli with living in a predominately Asian area

which

makes andra feel different.) He made the comment that a lot of research is

coming out

of work with kids and violent crimes on this front that applies to affecting

social

climate in general. He said 12 schools in San Diego have adopted a program he

works with

where staff are trained to model certain social behaviors (such as making amends

when you

hurt someone's feelings). This goes a long way to creating a more compassionate

social

climate and has substantially decreased violence at schools, for one thing.

I'd love to see a program like this get implemented in Kelsey's school. However,

I have a

hunch they won't be as motivated in our affluent area as those principals in

impovershed

neighborhoods who have to worry about guns on the playground. Nevertheless, I

may give it

a try next year when Kelsey's new school opens!

Take care,

in San Diego

[Guest guest]

Maybe telling him he must be careful because babies are so small and fragile

will help, this helps my daughter she loves babies but will not touch them,,

just tells me awe baby and then says baby is going home? As I laugh yes baby is

going home with his momma not us!! LOL_-- She wants to make sure she has no

one else to compete with other than her 2 sisters and brother she has.. Smart

girl!! Jeanette

[Guest guest]

Hi Roni,

I am behind in e-mails, so you've probably already gotten lots of solutions!

How old is your son? You could make up a social story. Take pictures of him

kissing and hugging family and special friends. Then maybe some pictures of him

shaking hands with strangers or people you don't know as well. You could also

do a picture of him waving hello at a baby he doesn't know. Under each picture

have a simple caption... " I can kiss and hug my mommy. " " I can wave hello to

babies. " Etc. Social stories, espeically with pictures including my son always

worked really well with him.

Good luck...this is an issue many of us have!

Social Skills

One of the areas we are working on is social skills. is very social.

He loves people. He will go up to complete strangers and hug them. He loves

babies and will try to go and kiss them when he sees them.

Unfortunately, not everyone is glad to receive these tokens of affection.

(occasionally the parents of the babies)

Has anyone been in this situation? What do you do? I don't want to curb his

loving spirit too much, but not quite sure how to proceed.

is comfortable around any age group. Most children respond well to

. Some can't understand why he doesn't talk as well as they do. But

they almost always try to include him in their play.

Can you share with me examples of what your children are working on in the

area of " social skills " ?

Roni

[Guest guest]

We were very strict about hugging strangers when was little. He is an

extrovert like mom, so he wanted to hug everyone. We would ask people NOT to

allow it. We would also have a talk about the fact that he doesn't know those

people. Hugs are for family only. We had him do high 5s for everyone else.

Now he introduces himself and his family and shakes hands like an almost grown

man should do.

Elaine

Social Skills

One of the areas we are working on is social skills. is very social.

He loves people. He will go up to complete strangers and hug them. He loves

babies and will try to go and kiss them when he sees them.

Unfortunately, not everyone is glad to receive these tokens of affection.

(occasionally the parents of the babies)

Has anyone been in this situation? What do you do? I don't want to curb his

loving spirit too much, but not quite sure how to proceed.

is comfortable around any age group. Most children respond well to

. Some can't understand why he doesn't talk as well as they do. But

they almost always try to include him in their play.

Can you share with me examples of what your children are working on in the

area of " social skills " ?

Roni

[Guest guest]

I too am behind in emaisl

At kindy and school we all do Hi-5's with BJ- he can only hug and kiss

relatives- so when he goes for inappropriate hugs we just say " Hi-5

" and then the other person automatically puts their hand up for

a hi-5 an BJ Hi-5's them works most times and no one gets uncomfy.

Babies- well we don't get much luck with them- he just seems to kiss

every baby he sees before I can get there- altho telling him he can

touch their hands and not their face sometimes works

>

>

> One of the areas we are working on is social skills. is

> very social. He loves people. He will go up to complete strangers

> and hug them. He loves babies and will try to go and kiss them when

> he sees them.

> Unfortunately, not everyone is glad to receive these tokens of

> affection. (occasionally the parents of the babies)

> Has anyone been in this situation? What do you do? I don't want to

> curb his loving spirit too much, but not quite sure how to proceed.

> is comfortable around any age group. Most children respond

> well to . Some can't understand why he doesn't talk as well

> as they do. But they almost always try to include him in their play.

> Can you share with me examples of what your children are working on

> in the area of " social skills " ?

> Roni

>

>

[Guest guest]

Does your son have an IEP? Our son does...he has speech for pragmatics,

and psychological serives, and vision for tracking. His social grp was worked

with the psychologist, and he has one of his speech sessions with another

child to help with socialization.

Is it your son's school, or the district itself that does not provide " social

skills grps " ?

Check to see. The social skills grps can be headed up by the schools speech

therapist, or the schools psychologist. If it is that it is just your son's

school that

does not have these, can they bring in one of these people that would?

Also, if the district does, but not just his school itself, can he go to

another school site

for this service? You can also see if your district contracts out with anyone

for

these services? Just brain storming to give you ideas.

Hope that helps.

( ) social skills

Hi everyone I'm new here I hava a 12 year old boy just diagnosed three

months ago. My biggest question right now is should we do social

skill classes or not? Doctor says they are very important but dad

does not believe they help. Insurance will not pay for them and

school does not provide them. I am at a loss on what to do. I'm just

having just a hard time adjusting to this diagnoses. I had never

heard of AS prior to this. Please any suggestions would really be

appreciated.

[Guest guest]

My son is going to start social skills classes at the start of next school

session. I've met with the place that does it and it seems REALLY great. Exactly

what a kid with AS needs. I can't say whether it's worked well yet or not

because it hasn't started but I'm really excited about it. It may be easier

though for me because Blue Cross (our insurance) covers it and his school

district is also in the works of bringing it into on of the schools. So that

will be really nice. So I can't speak from experience yet but I am so looking

forward to it. I'm not sure what area you're in but I'll give you the name of

the doctor in charge of this program. It's called C.A.S.E. in Carlsbad, CA. Her

name is Norell and she is super nice. You can ask her some questions.

Her # is 760-720-4964

hrsparling <hrsparling@...> wrote: Hi everyone I'm new here I

hava a 12 year old boy just diagnosed three

months ago. My biggest question right now is should we do social

skill classes or not? Doctor says they are very important but dad

does not believe they help. Insurance will not pay for them and

school does not provide them. I am at a loss on what to do. I'm just

having just a hard time adjusting to this diagnoses. I had never

heard of AS prior to this. Please any suggestions would really be

appreciated.

[Guest guest]

My son is 10 and we removed him from our local public school and now I school

him at home through a charter school. When he was in the public school they had

a person that they called an autistic coach that worked on social skills with

him. I feel that it was very helpful to help him understand social situations.

Now that we are in a charter school starting next school year they are going to

set us up with social skills classes. He also has speech therapy and the

therapist does have some social goals in her therapy with him. If your son has

speech maybe you could ask his therapist about adding some social goals. He

would at least have some sort of social goals that way though I personally feel

that the social skill classes focus more on social issues. It's sad that

insurance companies don't pay for things that would help our kids. Best wishes

in whatever you decide.

Becky

hrsparling <hrsparling@...> wrote:

Hi everyone I'm new here I hava a 12 year old boy just diagnosed three

months ago. My biggest question right now is should we do social

skill classes or not? Doctor says they are very important but dad

does not believe they help. Insurance will not pay for them and

school does not provide them. I am at a loss on what to do. I'm just

having just a hard time adjusting to this diagnoses. I had never

heard of AS prior to this. Please any suggestions would really be

appreciated.

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I have been looking for a social skills class for my son. He is 13. We are in

the Waco area of Texas and I have not been able to find anything. If anybody

knows of any social skills groups that are or are not covered by insurance

please let me know as I would love to sign my son up. I think a child with AS

really needs the socialization more than anything else.

Thanks, Joan

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote:

My son is going to start social skills classes at the start of next

school session. I've met with the place that does it and it seems REALLY great.

Exactly what a kid with AS needs. I can't say whether it's worked well yet or

not because it hasn't started but I'm really excited about it. It may be easier

though for me because Blue Cross (our insurance) covers it and his school

district is also in the works of bringing it into on of the schools. So that

will be really nice. So I can't speak from experience yet but I am so looking

forward to it. I'm not sure what area you're in but I'll give you the name of

the doctor in charge of this program. It's called C.A.S.E. in Carlsbad, CA. Her

name is Norell and she is super nice. You can ask her some questions.

Her # is 760-720-4964

hrsparling <hrsparling@...> wrote: Hi everyone I'm new here I hava a 12

year old boy just diagnosed three

months ago. My biggest question right now is should we do social

skill classes or not? Doctor says they are very important but dad

does not believe they help. Insurance will not pay for them and

school does not provide them. I am at a loss on what to do. I'm just

having just a hard time adjusting to this diagnoses. I had never

heard of AS prior to this. Please any suggestions would really be

appreciated.

[Guest guest]

If your son has a DX of Aspergers under the fed law " IDEA " The school

has to supply him with an Social group. My son is 8 and was are just

starting his IEP (I didnt know what IEP was when I went to my first

meeting) There is a lot for you to learn and you should start now and

get all the info you can over the summer. First thing is request the

school get him a FULL EVALUATION! Request is in writing. If you want

a tem plate for the letter I can email it to you if you want to email

me privtly please do. I have fould the book " The OASIS Guild to

Aspergers Syndrom " Extremly helpful. It has a lot of detail on how to

get what your son need from the school system. Find a parent advocet

in your area that can help you and go to school meetins. Dont think

the school will hold you hand or help you more then you ask them to.

The advocet will help in this matter. Dont expect to much help from

you husband right now... takes longer for Dad to except the DX them

MOM but he will come around. Men dont like to admit there is

anything wrong with there sons.,

Best of Luck,

>

> Hi everyone I'm new here I hava a 12 year old boy just diagnosed

three

> months ago. My biggest question right now is should we do social

> skill classes or not? Doctor says they are very important but dad

> does not believe they help. Insurance will not pay for them and

> school does not provide them. I am at a loss on what to do. I'm

just

> having just a hard time adjusting to this diagnoses. I had never

> heard of AS prior to this. Please any suggestions would really be

> appreciated.

>

[Guest guest]

My son is 9 and has social skills in a one to one setting with a typical

peer. His OT sees him twice a week, one time per week with a typical peer.

He

needs to get the skills in a small setting before being able to apply them

to his larger group of peers. He has done well with this. He still has

issues, but can get through a session without so much negativity and

competition

with his peer. Pam

[Guest guest]

This is an extensive list of Texas Resources. I would contact your local

Autism Society, they may be able to help with social groups. The Autism

Project in my state conducts numerous groups for children on the spectrum. Pam

_Help in Texas_ (http://www.angelfire.com/tx5/autism/texashelp.html)

[Guest guest]

Our son has never had social skills classes and I'm not even sure what they are.

We did no a lot of work with him ourselves using role play and social stories

and it really has helped him interact better with his peers at kindergarten.

Beck

( ) social skills

Hi everyone I'm new here I hava a 12 year old boy just diagnosed three

months ago. My biggest question right now is should we do social

skill classes or not? Doctor says they are very important but dad

does not believe they help. Insurance will not pay for them and

school does not provide them. I am at a loss on what to do. I'm just

having just a hard time adjusting to this diagnoses. I had never

heard of AS prior to this. Please any suggestions would really be

appreciated.

[Guest guest]

In REF to:

> ...Dont expect to much help from

> you husband right now... takes longer for Dad to except the DX

them MOM but he will come around. Men dont like to admit there is

> anything wrong with there sons...

This may be the case in some families, but not necesarily the rule.

In many cases it might be better to expect and indeed ask help from

your partner, even if you don't live with him/her. We men now come

from many different backgrounds and have different level of

involvemnt with our children. The more both parents are involved in

this from the beginning, the easier it may be for both.

Yes, I don't want to think that there is anything wrong with my

child, but so does every parent. Whenever I feel that my wife is not

on board with what I'm doing to understand the problem and help our

son, I try to take more time to discuss things with her and bring

her up to my plans. It may take several attempts until she finally

pays attention. Although she may not put as much time as I put into

coming up with plans we both feel well about, unless she knows and

agrees, she won't help and may even interfere.

Have a great day. F

[Guest guest]

I would say that you are the exception to the rule, then... T

( ) Re: social skills

In REF to:

> ...Dont expect to much help from

> you husband right now... takes longer for Dad to except the DX

them MOM but he will come around. Men dont like to admit there is

> anything wrong with there sons...

This may be the case in some families, but not necesarily the rule.

In many cases it might be better to expect and indeed ask help from

your partner, even if you don't live with him/her. We men now come

from many different backgrounds and have different level of

involvemnt with our children. The more both parents are involved in

this from the beginning, the easier it may be for both.

Yes, I don't want to think that there is anything wrong with my

child, but so does every parent. Whenever I feel that my wife is not

on board with what I'm doing to understand the problem and help our

son, I try to take more time to discuss things with her and bring

her up to my plans. It may take several attempts until she finally

pays attention. Although she may not put as much time as I put into

coming up with plans we both feel well about, unless she knows and

agrees, she won't help and may even interfere.

Have a great day. F

[Guest guest]

In general I think my husband is very supportive and he tries to help out as

much as he can but having said that we bought a book on ASD a while back and I

read the whole thing in one afternoon and then he wanted to read it. Well he

has since read two books on economics and not touched the ASD book.

Beck

( ) Re: social skills

In REF to:

> ...Dont expect to much help from

> you husband right now... takes longer for Dad to except the DX

them MOM but he will come around. Men dont like to admit there is

> anything wrong with there sons...

This may be the case in some families, but not necesarily the rule.

In many cases it might be better to expect and indeed ask help from

your partner, even if you don't live with him/her. We men now come

from many different backgrounds and have different level of

involvemnt with our children. The more both parents are involved in

this from the beginning, the easier it may be for both.

Yes, I don't want to think that there is anything wrong with my

child, but so does every parent. Whenever I feel that my wife is not

on board with what I'm doing to understand the problem and help our

son, I try to take more time to discuss things with her and bring

her up to my plans. It may take several attempts until she finally

pays attention. Although she may not put as much time as I put into

coming up with plans we both feel well about, unless she knows and

agrees, she won't help and may even interfere.

Have a great day. F

[Guest guest]

Oh my gosh, that's exactly my husband and I! Exact same thing. I ended up taking

him to a therapist that specializes in AS just so he could hear from a

professional all the things I'd already read about. Somehow he can take an hour

to go to a professional but not take an hour to read!

Mark son <thejacobsons@...> wrote: In general I think

my husband is very supportive and he tries to help out as much as he can but

having said that we bought a book on ASD a while back and I read the whole thing

in one afternoon and then he wanted to read it. Well he has since read two books

on economics and not touched the ASD book.

Beck

( ) Re: social skills

In REF to:

> ...Dont expect to much help from

> you husband right now... takes longer for Dad to except the DX

them MOM but he will come around. Men dont like to admit there is

> anything wrong with there sons...

This may be the case in some families, but not necesarily the rule.

In many cases it might be better to expect and indeed ask help from

your partner, even if you don't live with him/her. We men now come

from many different backgrounds and have different level of

involvemnt with our children. The more both parents are involved in

this from the beginning, the easier it may be for both.

Yes, I don't want to think that there is anything wrong with my

child, but so does every parent. Whenever I feel that my wife is not

on board with what I'm doing to understand the problem and help our

son, I try to take more time to discuss things with her and bring

her up to my plans. It may take several attempts until she finally

pays attention. Although she may not put as much time as I put into

coming up with plans we both feel well about, unless she knows and

agrees, she won't help and may even interfere.

Have a great day. F

[Guest guest]

I guess it is pretty normal for a husband/ex-husband to be in denial. My

ex will not even respond to conversation relating to my son having a

disorder that causes him to be different. THe other week when he was

here for his two week visit, I stated that the street that we lived on

needed a caution sign that says something about his disorder and safe

play such as the ones that hearing impared children have put where they

play. My son does not think that the road is dangerous and rarely looks

for cars. Anyways, his Dad flew off the handle and said there is not a

thing wrong with our son. I guess it is easy to ignore when you have

been away for eight months ( He has been in Iraq ), and does not and has

not lived with my son since he was three. It is just hard to take

sometimes when the Dad fails to see that there is a disorder or

diognosis.

Janie

In general I think my husband is

very supportive and he tries to help out as much as he can but having

said that we bought a book on ASD a while back and I read the whole

thing in one afternoon and then he wanted to read it. Well he has since

read two books on economics and not touched the ASD book.

> Beck

> ( ) Re: social skills

>

> In REF to:

>

> > ...Dont expect to much help from

> > you husband right now... takes longer for Dad to except the DX

> them MOM but he will come around. Men dont like to admit there is

> > anything wrong with there sons...

>

> This may be the case in some families, but not necesarily the rule.

> In many cases it might be better to expect and indeed ask help from

> your partner, even if you don't live with him/her. We men now come

> from many different backgrounds and have different level of

> involvemnt with our children. The more both parents are involved in

> this from the beginning, the easier it may be for both.

>

> Yes, I don't want to think that there is anything wrong with my

> child, but so does every parent. Whenever I feel that my wife is not

> on board with what I'm doing to understand the problem and help our

> son, I try to take more time to discuss things with her and bring

> her up to my plans. It may take several attempts until she finally

> pays attention. Although she may not put as much time as I put into

> coming up with plans we both feel well about, unless she knows and

> agrees, she won't help and may even interfere.

>

> Have a great day. F

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I have a 6 yo with AS also so I can't read ahead for

you but I can recommend a book I recently bought

called -

Asperger's and Self Esteem by Norm Ledgin

This book is dedicated to telling stories about all of

the brilliant people who have AS - people who have

really given something to the world and done something

brilliant and possibly wouldn't have been so

inspirational if not for the fact that they were AS.

I know it's by no means a solve - but reading the book

does put a finer point on so many positive things that

can come about because of AS.

Hugs,

a

--- debramelamed <melamedj@...> wrote:

> Hi everybody,

>

> I have responded to a lot of posts but it has been

> quiet here so I

> haven't posted in a while. I have a 6 year old boy

> Jake with AS.

> He is very sweet and follows the rules, does good in

> school,

> especially behaviorally. We are still working on

> the academics and

> he still has an aid - seems like auditory processing

> is really an

> issue.

>

> Anyway, today there was an Eagles party in my

> development and CBS

> broadcast their pregame show live from the party.

> It was a big

> deal. Women and children couldn't go till after the

> game was over.

> I walked over with my son and my 3 year old

> daughter. Lots of other

> kids came out too. That's when I know its going to

> all go bad. My

> son just has no idea how to talk to the other kids,

> how to fit in.

> When it is evident to him that he is not fitting in

> he starts

> talking to himself, sometimes dialogue from TV, etc.

> Then the kids

> will run off and do their thing and he will wander

> aroung by

> himself. Sometimes he will grab a toy from the kids

> or yell a

> little which he can usually get away with because he

> is 6 and 4'3 "

> tall. He isn't aggressive by nature but again just

> doesn't know how

> to be social. I have such fear of him getting older

> when the social

> stuff really starts to count.

>

> I have put lots of $ into lots of social skills

> groups (and he gets

> it at school). He likes the groups and does well,

> and he is good

> one on one, but in the develpoment with a group the

> skills don't

> transfer and I watch in horror. It feels like

> somebody is ripping

> my heart out of my body and then I cry and ask God

> why for the 10

> millionth time. I feel like moving out of the

> development because I

> can't take it but maybe that would be worse. He

> just started karate

> which he did OK in and he is also in a theatre

> group. Monetarily it

> is so difficult because nothing is covered. I think

> we will have to

> stop his private speech therapy because its

> $55/week.

>

> Does anyone else feel like I do? Anyone with older

> children see itr

> get better?

>

> Feeling sorry for myself,

>

> Debbie

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hey Debbie,

You are okay to feel this way. My son is 18 years old, Asperger,

and he still struggles with social skills. The most important thing

I think you can do is to find a regiment that will help your son to

be involved with others. Just like you are doing.

However, you may want to read some books from someone like

Winner. She really digs deep into the matter of how most

people do NOT think to help an ASD loved one socialize.

Her book gives great insights as to why our children are Impaired

Interactive Perspective Taking (her term of IIPT) or social/

cognitive skills that are low.

For instance, does your son look at you and your eyes? Try it and

ask him to guess where your eyes are looking. Example, turn your

head and ask him where you are looking? Next try, just looking

somewhere with only your eyes gazing at the object. See what he

says.

The importance of this is that your son does NOT study or follow

your eye movements; thus it causes him to not understand what is

going in the mind of his peers, you and others. In other words, he

is missing facial expressions, non-verbal, tones and inflections.

This is a very abstract issue that are children are challenged with.

Many ideas are in her books that you can work on.

Winner has books you can buy.......ha ha....all the

Autism experts sell their books. I am convinced though that her

books are exactly what are ASD children need. I am sure there are

other experts, but she is someone I have met and read.

Hope this helps

Mark Colditz

Carrollton, Texas

>

> Hi everybody,

>

> I have responded to a lot of posts but it has been quiet here so I

> haven't posted in a while. I have a 6 year old boy Jake with AS.

> He is very sweet and follows the rules, does good in school,

> especially behaviorally. We are still working on the academics

and

> he still has an aid - seems like auditory processing is really an

> issue.

>

> Anyway, today there was an Eagles party in my development and CBS

> broadcast their pregame show live from the party. It was a big

> deal. Women and children couldn't go till after the game was

over.

> I walked over with my son and my 3 year old daughter. Lots of

other

> kids came out too. That's when I know its going to all go bad.

My

> son just has no idea how to talk to the other kids, how to fit

in.

> When it is evident to him that he is not fitting in he starts

> talking to himself, sometimes dialogue from TV, etc. Then the

kids

> will run off and do their thing and he will wander aroung by

> himself. Sometimes he will grab a toy from the kids or yell a

> little which he can usually get away with because he is 6 and 4'3 "

> tall. He isn't aggressive by nature but again just doesn't know

how

> to be social. I have such fear of him getting older when the

social

> stuff really starts to count.

>

> I have put lots of $ into lots of social skills groups (and he

gets

> it at school). He likes the groups and does well, and he is good

> one on one, but in the develpoment with a group the skills don't

> transfer and I watch in horror. It feels like somebody is ripping

> my heart out of my body and then I cry and ask God why for the 10

> millionth time. I feel like moving out of the development because

I

> can't take it but maybe that would be worse. He just started

karate

> which he did OK in and he is also in a theatre group. Monetarily

it

> is so difficult because nothing is covered. I think we will have

to

> stop his private speech therapy because its $55/week.

>

> Does anyone else feel like I do? Anyone with older children see

itr

> get better?

>

> Feeling sorry for myself,

>

> Debbie

>

[Guest guest]

Have you ever tried social stories? You write a basic cartoon like

script, keep it simple about what he should expect. Read it EVERY

day for a while til you feel it's sticking w/him and then back off

slowly. Every other day, once a week, twice a month and then as

needed. It helps to keep the unknown from spooking them.

Look up on internet social stories and you'll find tons of resources.

It's very easy to do.

Example:

Lily is going to a party today.

There will be a lot of people but mom will be close to Lily so she

will feel safe.

It will be noisy there but that is because we are having fun!

Lily will be nice to people at the party.

Lily will have a lot of fun at the party because she knows the

people there and that her mom will not leave her alone.

Something like that, sorry it's not my best work, I had about 25

secs to get it typed in.

Mom of two Aspie kiddos

>

> Hi everybody,

>

> I have responded to a lot of posts but it has been quiet here so I

> haven't posted in a while. I have a 6 year old boy Jake with AS.

> He is very sweet and follows the rules, does good in school,

> especially behaviorally. We are still working on the academics

and

> he still has an aid - seems like auditory processing is really an

> issue.

>

> Anyway, today there was an Eagles party in my development and CBS

> broadcast their pregame show live from the party. It was a big

> deal. Women and children couldn't go till after the game was

over.

> I walked over with my son and my 3 year old daughter. Lots of

other

> kids came out too. That's when I know its going to all go bad.

My

> son just has no idea how to talk to the other kids, how to fit

in.

> When it is evident to him that he is not fitting in he starts

> talking to himself, sometimes dialogue from TV, etc. Then the

kids

> will run off and do their thing and he will wander aroung by

> himself. Sometimes he will grab a toy from the kids or yell a

> little which he can usually get away with because he is 6 and 4'3 "

> tall. He isn't aggressive by nature but again just doesn't know

how

> to be social. I have such fear of him getting older when the

social

> stuff really starts to count.

>

> I have put lots of $ into lots of social skills groups (and he

gets

> it at school). He likes the groups and does well, and he is good

> one on one, but in the develpoment with a group the skills don't

> transfer and I watch in horror. It feels like somebody is ripping

> my heart out of my body and then I cry and ask God why for the 10

> millionth time. I feel like moving out of the development because

I

> can't take it but maybe that would be worse. He just started

karate

> which he did OK in and he is also in a theatre group. Monetarily

it

> is so difficult because nothing is covered. I think we will have

to

> stop his private speech therapy because its $55/week.

>

> Does anyone else feel like I do? Anyone with older children see

itr

> get better?

>

> Feeling sorry for myself,

>

> Debbie

>

[Guest guest]

MY 2 cents: one main rason for going to therpay (4 out of 5 years of

Grant's life) is to help him achieve skills that will help him function

in Life-not so he can do well on evaluations and keep making progress.

If you are not seeing carryover to REAL LIFE situations of these social

skills-then it is time to re-evaluate your therapy and options.

Maybe also start with one or two " development kids " and an organized

activity on " his territory " so he gets to know them. Could be as

innocent as conversation about new game/activity then move onto another

week or two playing the game together. Halloween activities?

Nope this isn't easy, we shouldn't have to teach our kids " how to be

freinds " in such minute increments...but that's where he is and I know

my son (and seemingly yours) can learn this. -Ann

[Guest guest]

Hey Debbie, I can totally relate. My DS is almost 6 and is very similiar.

I had an experience with him one day we missed the bus and that of

course totally freaked him out. I took him to school and he was still

crying one of the kids was trying to hug him, which didn't go over very well

and he just looks at me helpless as if he is from another planet and

doesn't know how to act. He will also talk out loud to himself in movie

dialogue and has found himself an imaginery friend whom he talks to

when other kids are around. I get very upset too.....I have my good days

and bad...some days I cry off and on all day...other days are better.

I think this is our greatest challenge....I wish that they could feel normal

inside and play and act like other children....I know my ds has a lot of

anxiety and i wish i could just take it away....

that's what makes us good and caring mothers....I don't think moving is the

answer..

although I can understand you wanting to. The more we introduce them to

social

situations the more they will learn....i will keep you and Jake in my

prayers....

kim

debramelamed <melamedj@...> wrote:

Hi everybody,

I have responded to a lot of posts but it has been quiet here so I

haven't posted in a while. I have a 6 year old boy Jake with AS.

He is very sweet and follows the rules, does good in school,

especially behaviorally. We are still working on the academics and

he still has an aid - seems like auditory processing is really an

issue.

Anyway, today there was an Eagles party in my development and CBS

broadcast their pregame show live from the party. It was a big

deal. Women and children couldn't go till after the game was over.

I walked over with my son and my 3 year old daughter. Lots of other

kids came out too. That's when I know its going to all go bad. My

son just has no idea how to talk to the other kids, how to fit in.

When it is evident to him that he is not fitting in he starts

talking to himself, sometimes dialogue from TV, etc. Then the kids

will run off and do their thing and he will wander aroung by

himself. Sometimes he will grab a toy from the kids or yell a

little which he can usually get away with because he is 6 and 4'3 "

tall. He isn't aggressive by nature but again just doesn't know how

to be social. I have such fear of him getting older when the social

stuff really starts to count.

I have put lots of $ into lots of social skills groups (and he gets

it at school). He likes the groups and does well, and he is good

one on one, but in the develpoment with a group the skills don't

transfer and I watch in horror. It feels like somebody is ripping

my heart out of my body and then I cry and ask God why for the 10

millionth time. I feel like moving out of the development because I

can't take it but maybe that would be worse. He just started karate

which he did OK in and he is also in a theatre group. Monetarily it

is so difficult because nothing is covered. I think we will have to

stop his private speech therapy because its $55/week.

Does anyone else feel like I do? Anyone with older children see itr

get better?

Feeling sorry for myself,

Debbie

---------------------------------

All-new - Fire up a more powerful email and get things done faster.

[Guest guest]

Jeanette, one thing we do with Dakota is to write a social story and use clip art or real pictures in a book.

stacie

-- Social Skills

I would like to know what programs you have used including books, videos, role playing scenarios, and or curriculum to teach your Asperger's child social skills? Have any of them had positive results?

Thanks,

Jeanette