Guest guest Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Having trouble viewing this email? Click here You're receiving this email because of your relationship with Horizon Family Solutions, LLC. If by chance you yourself did not sign up to receive this newsletter, someone may have signed you up thinking you would be interested in articles about struggling teens. Please confirm your continued interest in receiving email from us. You may unsubscribe if you no longer wish to receive our emails. IN THIS ISSUE SPECIAL EDUCATION Hard-wired to excuse ourselves Aspiro Summer Program Assisting those helping juveniles to locate residential placement alternatives FREE, LOW TUITION, SLIDING SCALE, AND NO TUITION PROGRAMS FOR ADOLESCENTS AND YOUNG ADULTS Roots of Adolescent Sexual Addiction Launching Your Dreams PARENTING COORDINATION Educational Consultants Join Our Mailing List! SPECIAL EDUCATION SERIES PART FOUR ASSESSMENTS Assessments are standardized tests given to students to determine if they qualify for special education services. The school districts are required to perform these assessments in all areas of suspected disability. Parents can ask that their child be assessed by writing a letter to the school principal and / or to their child's teacher. Always send letters certified mail. Once the request for assessment is received in writing, the school district has 15 days to prepare an assessment plan. This plan needs to include assessments in all areas of suspected needs. Once the parent signs this plan, the school district has 60 days (not counting school breaks) to conduct the assessments. When you have assessment results from independent sources (e.g. therapists, doctors, social workers, speech & language, etc.) available when the assessments are being performed, you need to give the district copies of your assessment reports so that they can include them in determining what assessments to administer and in preparing their recommendations. The results of the assessments are usually presented at an IEP Team Meeting where the child's special education eligibility is determined and a placement recommendation is presented by the district. It is recommended that you have an advocate review the assessments as well as the assessment report to determine if the results are correct and are being reported appropriately. When the parents do not agree with the results of the assessments, they can request in writing another assessment by an outside assessor. Parents are entitled to Independent Educational Evaluations (IEE) in certain circumstances, and at public (school district) expense. You must put in writing what independent assessments you want and why you want them. You can also recommend specific professionals that you would like to have perform the assessments. The district is not required to use the professionals you recommend. The district can fund the independent assessments or file for Due Process against you. There are a wide variety of assessments available. Some are designed to measure " cognitive ability " (intelligence) others are made to determine the child's education level. There are assessments for determining psychological challenges faced by the child. Then there are many specialized assessments for determining what special needs a child might have (e.g. speech, language, social skills, physical). The list goes on and on. The key is to make sure the district administers all of the tests needed given the suspected areas of need for each child. You can use an advocate and have them evaluate the assessments being offered by the district for your child. An advocate can also assist you in determining which assessments to request. Resources to find an Education Advocate: Council of Parent Attorneys and Advocates Family Matters Group s Law Next month: Residential Treatment Centers (RTCs) Visit Our Sponsor's Aspiro's solution-oriented, wilderness adventure therapy program works. Elan is a 160 bed co-educational residential school for adolescents who come from all parts of the United States as well as from foreign countries. Begin your search for learning disabilities or special education help New Horizons Youth Ranch is a Christian based ranch program for boys between the ages of 12 and 17 Additional Information Bookstore Breaking News Conference Calendar Missing Teens TroubledTeenHelp Blog Horizon Family Solutions Blog Brain Research Raises Questions on Treatment of Young Defendants Hard-wired to excuse ourselves We remember our parent's habits. Maybe our father checked his watch several times an hour. Maybe our mother called us twice a day, every day, to check on us. Many of our parents and grandparents survived tough times - the Great Depression - and many were or still are major league worriers. How many times have you asked the same question to someone over and over and over again? Especially your teen. Do you always expect the worse? Some people are hard-wired to fret about everything. The brain defines our reality. Can you imagine Bernie Madoff's brain? Did his Ponzi scheme make sense to him? In the world where acting purely in your own self-interest to the detriment of others is rewarded, a person can comfortably put someone in a position that they know is not ethical. The brain tells us who we think we are. How we see ourselves is determined by our very own brain's neurotransmitters. Neuroscientists can explain why some people worry and why others who have lost their integrity sleep so soundly every night. Last year The New York Times published a news feature, " Your Brain Lies to You. " This article sites research that our brain demonstrates " source amnesia " , which means " Even when a lie is presented with a disclaimer, people often later remember it as true. " Sound like your teenager? So, your teen assures you they are trustworthy, despite information you have to the contrary, and because this is your child and you love them, your brain is not likely to tell you that you may be duped by your own child. Your teen likely only remembers their brilliance in pulling one over on you - again - and again - and ignores the facts that they are in troubled; they feel justified in what they promise you each and every time. For those parents who struggle to get their child help, the lure of wanting that magic moment to happen where all is right with the world again, allows the brain to minimize the sizeable risks their child is taking. Finally, eventually, hopefully, previous experiences start to offset the emotions. The blend of brain chemistries - denial of facts and cravings to have things feel safe again - starts to creep in. Our brains help us to ignore why we stay in denial when our teens need help. There are neurochemical reasons why we excuse things our teens are doing so quickly. The brain is predisposed to take us down a more pleasurable path when facing a crisis situation. Hopefully, new brain research will lead us to a better understanding of how and why we so often end up being fooled. We have a widespread denial of accountability in many family homes and in many businesses today. Many parents are not taking responsibility for their actions and so giving consequences to their children does not happen. In many situations I have experienced parents asking for accountability from their child and I see the parents being overly judgmental and lacking empathy. Then then complain that their child is showing these very same characteristics. Parents are forgiving, however, many have come to a place where " the excuses " from their teens prolongs the pain of taking steps to get them help. It is time to take responsibility for parenting and for our personal actions and words to mean, really mean something. Kids know all to well how to get you to excuse their behaviors and choices that are dangerous to their lives. What is the Benefit of Hiring a Professional Educational Consultant? Aspiro Summer Program (Momentum by Aspiro) Details Revealed Momentum by Aspiro is a multi-element course that travels from the red rock canyons of Southern Utah to grand peaks of the Rocky Mountains. This is a one-time, 28 day adventure for boys and girls ages 13-17, and begins on Tuesday, July 14, 2009 (In Salt Lake City). Momentum by Aspiro is ideal for participants who have completed any outdoor program and are progressing well. Students must be willing to participate and will submit a short essay outlining why they want to participate in this extraordinary adventure. Momentum is for students who would benefit from a non-clinical program, high on adventure, leadership skills and strategies for further personal growth. The Course includes canyoneering, technical canyoneering, rock climbing, kayaking or rafting, mountaineering, mountain biking and more. " Students had a phenomenal experience last year, said Josh , Admissions Director, we are excited to once again provide a powerful growth experience for appropriate participants. For further information and a link to our application, please visit www.momentumadventure.org, or call Josh at 888-266-5136. The Aspiro Group of programs are short-term Wilderness Adventure Therapy (WAT) programs for adolescents ages 13-17 and young adults (Aspiro, Kairos and Vantage Point). Programs meet the needs of a broad range of concerns and challenges. Please see our website www.aspiroprograms.com for further information. Assisting those helping juveniles to locate residential placement alternatives I have developed a helpful guide in an effort to assist the hundreds of advocates, attorneys and parents who help those in the juvenile justice system in accessing and locating possible residential placement alternatives for youth. The information obtained in this guide is the result of over 8 years of effort. I have hundreds of programs and services in my current database and they are all recognized for their ability to address the special needs of youths with minor to extensive histories of juvenile justice system involvement. This includes the very minor first arrest type individual, usually for drug possession or truancy, to those that have been involved in more serious issues such as arson, sexual acting out, etc. However, I may not have everyone in the database, or your information may not be up to date. This is an effort to get as many residential / wilderness programs as possible in the first written handbook guide and to make sure information is current. The guide will then be updated annually. There is a small annual cost for each listing to cover the cost of putting together this guide into an E-Book. Non Profits - $35 annually. For Profits $45 annually. For those that would like to have their color logo and some additional information listed about their program on their individual page, the annual cost is $170. You will be responsible for keeping me updated on any changes that occur and a reminder will be sent prior to the next released update. To view an example page of a plain listing, click here. If you would like to know if you are on the current list of database recommendations, just send an email to dore@.... If it turns out you are not listed you can use the above mentioned form to fill out your programs information and get you on the list for the first release of this guide. It must be received no later June 1, 2009. You must be a program that allows those from the juvenile justice system to enter your program, whether for minor offenses or more serious offenses, and have knowledge of working with probation officers. You must also offer specialized programs for special education students. When you know of someone else who may be interested in being listed, please feel free to pass this information along. The guide is set up to be listed by State of location. Those listed are Adolescent Counseling Services, Adolescent Programs, Adoption Services, Attorneys working with juveniles, Community Homes, Educational Centers, Care Centers, Foundations, Group Homes, Hospitals, Psychiatric Residential Treatment Facilities, Ranches, Recovery Centers, Residential Treatment Centers, Schools, Teenage Pregnancy Homes, Teen Programs, Wilderness Programs, Youth Adventure Programs, Youth Crisis Centers, Youth & Family Services, just to name a few. Please call me with any questions. Sincerely, Dore E. Frances, M.A. Horizon Family Solutions, LLC (541) 312-4422 Horizon Family Solutions, LLC Building upon 17 years of success in assisting families with their teens Worrying is wasted time. Use the same energy for doing something about whatever worries you. Dear Terry, If you are anything like me, you are prone to getting so wrapped up in the little stuff that you sometimes forget how blessed you are. I am not talking about material things. I am talking about the gifts we are lucky enough to receive every day from friends and strangers alike: the coworker who pitches in on a complicated project with no expectations of reward; the bystander who opens the door when your hands are full; or the husband, wife, partner who volunteers to cook dinner and do the dishes. Trust is a kind of gift, too. We offer it to others and hope they do not abuse it. We put our faith in our banks, our children, our doctors, our spouses, the bridges we drive over. Yet, as we have seen lately, expecting the best in people and in businesses can be an iffy situation. I for one would not want to live in a world where I was afraid to place my trust in another human being. When trust is a risk, it is still one I am willing to take. There are many stories out there of bonds that connect people, just because someone reached out. Trust me, I know! Dore E. Frances, M.A. If you are a parent who has had a child in treatment, please take our survey Published by Horizon Family Solutions, LLC. Last Updated March 28, 2009. FREE, LOW TUITION, SLIDING SCALE, AND NO TUITION PROGRAMS FOR ADOLESCENTS AND YOUNG ADULTS These programs went through an initial screening process in order to be accepted on this non-advertising list. The list is updated throughout the year. This list is for parents who are not using the services of an Educational Consultant. $26.00. Click here to order. Roots of Adolescent Sexual Addiction Last of the 3 part series. For most adolescents, the roots of sexual addictive behaviors can often be traced to specific experiences. This is not about being raised in a dysfunctional family. Parents are often distracted and do not notice the warning signs of the behaviors, or dismiss them as wanting them to be a part of normal adolescent curiosity. Because of the uncomfortableness of these behaviors, there can be a lack of emotional presence on the part of one or both parents. A full explanation of the phenomenon of the sexual behavior difficulties is beyond the scope of most parents and when witnessing adolescent sexual compulsivity it is often ignored in the hopes it will just go away and stop. A diagnosis can be easy to miss. Parents may fail to report any problems in the sexual area of their child to their family doctor, because they themselves may not recognize what they are so desperately avoiding. Most parents do not pay attention to compulsive behaviors and avoid even speaking about it with each other. There can also be a binge/purge cycle of behavior. An adolescent may act out for a period of time, and then " act in " - that is, shut down and avoid all activity as a way of wanting to self-correct their behavior. No matter how sexual misbehavior presents itself, from a family systems perspective, an adolescent who is acting out can be viewed as one who will also, in most cases, seek out self-medicating behaviors as well, because of the life-long pain this brings unless treated. Adolescents need multi-dimensional assistance that may include psychodynamic and other therapies to get to the root of the disease, as well as behavior techniques that address acting out behaviors. In my opinion, it is extremely important than an adolescent be in a same gender program for their recovery. Adolescents almost always benefit from gender segregated treatment, which allows them to focus without as much distraction. Equally important, a gender specific environment fosters the creation of healthy relationships with their peers, which is key to recovery. There are several treatment issues that must be considered when working with adolescents who are struggling with sexual inappropriate behaviors. First, the therapeutic relationship is unusually important. The adolescent's overwhelming shame will make it difficult for them to share their secrets. They must feel safe with their therapist and trust that he/she will offer assistance rather than give judgment. The therapist must often " read between the lines " of the presenting problem, because few adolescents will identify themselves as being sexually inappropriate in any way. Taking a thorough relational and sexual history helps diagnose any other hidden sexual addictions that may be present. Parents of adolescents who have sexually misbehaved are a secret population for the most part. They, too, are in desperate need of understanding, healing from shame, and guidance. Parents who are seeking treatment for their adolescent are faced with overwhelming shame, unique obstacles, and few resources. They need assistance from those who can identify the disease and provide direction on where the entire family can go for healing. With the right assistance, adolescents can recover from this devastating situation and lead happy, healthy and productive lives. Dore E. Frances, M.A. is a specialized advocate and educational consultant in Bend, Oregon. She provides assistance to parents who have children that are affected by sexual misbehavior addictions. She is a frequent speaker to parent groups on this subject as well as many other topics of interest. She may be contacted at dore@... or you may call toll free - 866-833-6811. All calls are confidential. Our next series, starting in May, will cover adolescents struggling with the addictive process and how addiction of any kind - alcohol, drugs, gambling, Internet, pornography, self-mutilation, sex - whatever it may be, alters how they view the world, themselves, and how they conduct themselves as human beings. Launching Your Dreams Launch Your Dreams Audio - Click Here Currently, our economy is experiencing a number of challenges that most people are unfamiliar with as far as dealing with and solving them. The purpose of this column is to introduce you to some ideas and important shifts in your perspective that will prove useful for you and your families. Warning: If your goal is to stand in longer and longer lines as a job applicant, read no further! This is for those who are willing to think outside the box and try a different but effectively pathway. For several years, I have had the privilege and opportunity of speaking with and learning from some of the best business and marketing minds that are out there. Success Learning System's new program, Launching Your Dreams, will show you a variety of useful skills and strategies for you to use. The first thought has to do with two key habits that allow us to move ahead in a competitive world. They are: 1) Always be willing to learn. 2) Always work to improve your people and communication skills. Why are these two habits so critically important? If a person gets to any age and thinks they know it all, they are truly falling further behind in many areas critically important for their futures. Improving people or communication skills with others will make a huge difference, long term, on our abilities to establish trust and rapport with others. Many people think they can short-cut this process with their Blackberries, emails, computers, etc. when, what is required, is the ability to effectively speak and communicate with others about their interests by asking them quality questions. A good financial template to use is the following. Our rewards in life are based on the goods and services we can produce for others and how easy or difficult we are to replace in the market. Another addition to this value creation template is this: We can have almost anything we want in life if we help enough other people get what they want. Today's economy requires us to think about our lives and careers in a whole new way. How much sense does it make to stand in longer and longer lines for fewer and fewer positions? As an example, down in Miami, there were 50 positions open for firefighters and 1500 people applied. Out in Indiana, at one of the colleges, 400 people applied for a $15.00 an hour job as a janitor. These scenes are taking place more and more throughout the country. What is a solution for you and your family? Success Learning System's Launching Your Dreams will help you do the following: 1) Give you a few no cost, no-obligation training sessions to see if we have a good match in working together. The risk therefore, is on me to make sure this is a good fit for you. 2) Develop the entrepreneur/home based business mindset that is very different from the employee mindset. The best news is I can show you how to do this in 30 days, not four years as it takes to get a college degree that may or may not be useful in today's world, but the college degree will certainly cost you a great deal! 3) Allow you to get yourself set up with your own business in an interest, hobby or passion of your own, not something where you have to join someone else's bandwagon. 4) Key resources to further accelerate the entrepreneurial mindset with models who will take you step by step through this in 30 days or less. 5) Setting yourself up with a home based business that will allow you to greatly increase the odds of your success due to control with any overhead costs. 6) Access to some of the best experts I have come across to move faster on this learning curve. 7) Show you how to set up multiple sources of income from your own business with knowledge in joint ventures and strategic alliances. You do have skills and services that are extremely valuable to others. I can show you how to get these out to them and profitably market yourself! These are just a few of the benefits you will receive! What do you do now? Contact me right away with any questions you have and let's get started! As I said before, I offer initial consultations and coaching at no cost or obligation. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain! Let's take your great ideas, passions or hobbies and get them off the ground! As an additional point, if this information is not relevant for you, please consider referring others to me as I have a very generous referral reward program. It will pay you to refer someone to Success Learning Systems. If you give me 30 days, only one month, I can coach you on the entrepreneur/ business mindset and help you adapt to the realities of the 21st century. Tim Law has a business known as Success Learning Systems which is designed to help you Launch Your Dreams profitably in the 21st Century. You may contact him at: www.successlearningsystems.com tlaw5111@... or by phone at 717-332-1689 PARENTING COORDINATION Help For High Conflict Families Part One of this Series More than one million children each year are affected by divorce and family separation. Half of these children will be raised in families where parents remain in conflict. Many of these parents engage in ongoing litigation over their children for years. Children raised in an atmosphere of unrelenting conflict are four to five times as likely to grow-up with serious emotional and behavioral difficulties. Not only are high-conflict cases damaging to innocent children, they require an inordinate amount of court time and mental health services. Consequently, high-conflict divorces pose grave concerns for mental health and legal professionals. In order to minimize the adverse effects of divorce on children and families, many parents are encouraged or court ordered to work with a parenting coordinator. WHAT IS PARENTING COORDINATION? Parenting Coordination is a non-confidential, child centered process for conflicted divorced and divorcing parents. It is a form of dispute resolution for parents in which mediation would be inappropriate or ineffective due to high levels of conflict. Through education, mediation and case management, the family's progress is monitored to ensure that parents are fulfilling their obligations to their child while complying with the recommendations of the court. With prior approval of the parties and/or the Court, the PC may make temporary decisions, within the scope of the court order or appointment contract, to help high-conflict parents who have demonstrated an inability or unwillingness to make parenting decisions on their own. The role of the parent coordinator is outlined by the authority granted in the court order or the stipulation of the parties. Parenting Coordinators assist parents establish and maintain a healthy co-parenting relationship by reducing parental conflict and the risk factors that influence a child's post-divorce adjustment. The overall emphasis is to offer children the opportunity to grow in a home environment free from the devastating stress of being caught in the middle of parental conflict. Since parenting coordination is a non-confidential process, parenting coordinators document parental behaviors and compliance with court orders. This is usually done through memos and, when necessary, by testimony to the Court. The parenting coordinators may share their concerns regarding each parent and make recommendations regarding unresolved issues. However, a parenting coordinator cannot change the legal or physical custody status of the child(ren) or offer a recommendation on custody arrangements. Next Month: BENEFITS OF PARENTING COORDINATION Educational Consultants Part of a series Their names can be found on the Internet. They have helped parents in all different kinds of capacities for over thirty years. And now many of those that started this industry are in the autumn of their years. Many are among the best in the industry. Most of them would consider other titles that have been prone to make their way into this profession an insult. They are educational consultants. When a family has a child in serious trouble, they turn to some of the most experienced in the industry. As this industry changes and the roles of educational consultants changes, there are fewer and fewer new educational consultants with the same experience to take their place. But before they retire, some have tales to tell - stories that are profane, provocative, timeless, and laugh-out-loud funny. And most of them are even true. So over the last year I have sat back, had a cup of coffee, tea and at times something even stronger, as I listened and heard how it was done back in the day. " Any educational consultant that tells you they have never felt they failed a family hasn't really helped that many families. " ~ R.A. I remember this conversation as if it was yesterday. I immediately stopped the car. I was sitting with someone who was a fast thinker and an even faster talker. This person is also capable of overcoming their modesty. " We're discussing my favorite subject, " they say. " Me. " " I am very proud of my work. " I have interviewed several educational consultants over the last year and more interviews are scheduled this year. It has become apparent that this will also be a part of the book - One Size Does Not Fit All. I have asked those I interviewed to tell me about a tricky situation that tested their abilities. Logic and reason are often used, and all found ways to create an effective solution. I think it will make for good reading! Dore E. Frances, M.A. Independent school advising and referral services - Special needs and therapeutic placement Dore Frances helps families and their students choose and apply to addiction treatment centers, aftercare/next step transition programs, Christian based schools, clinically based programs, college preparatory boarding schools, eating disorder programs, emotional growth boarding schools as well as boarding schools for students who learn differently and for students who have behavioral and emotional needs. She has been empowering students with solutions and support and helping them make good decisions since 1987 as an Advocate. In 2001 she founded Horizon Family Solutions, LLC, an educational consulting firm. Sincerely, Dore E. Frances, M.A Horizon Family Solutions, LLC Advertise With TroubledTeenHelp.com TROUBLEDTEENHELP.COM IS A LEGITIMATE SOURCE OF INFORMATION AND RESOURCES FOR AT-RISK AND TROUBLED PRETEENS, TEENS AND YOUNG ADULTS The primary readers of TroubledTeenHelp.com are parents and professionals looking to enroll preteens, teens and young adults with addiction, behavioral, eating, emotional, and/or learning challenges in addiction treatment centers, clinical programs, eating disorder centers, emotional growth schools, military schools or wilderness programs. High Visibility: Up to 52,000 unique visitors have come to TroubledTeenHelp.com each month, for current articles, local resources, press releases, visit reports, and much, much more. Forward email to an Associate or Friend This email was sent to tccavanaugh@... by dore@.... Update Profile/Email Address | Instant removal with SafeUnsubscribeT | Privacy Policy. Horizon Family Solutions, LLC | 1145 N.W. 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