Need some encouragement

April 15, 2008

> Last week I resigned because I couldn't handle working 40 hours a

week. My

> supervisor asked if I would stay and work part time – 24 hours a

week. This

> is a great offer but I wonder if the stress in itself about my

abilities and

> the deadlines is just too much.

>

> Sorry, but I need to say this to people who can relate. I know some

of you

> hear deal with brain fog, anxiety, and some of the things I mentioned.

>

Hi a,

I'm so sorry you're having such a difficult time. That has to be very

frustrating to have brain fog out in the working world. I am at home

yet when I have 'those days' I feel like a failure. And this is not

rocket science!! But keeping everything/everyone coordinated just is

beyond me some days.

I think it's wonderful your supervisor asked you to stay on. That

means you're doing something right!! Maybe you can open up a little to

this person and just admit you have health problems you're working

through? I don't know if that's appropriate at a new job or not, but

it's a thought.

Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and I hope that

soon you can see some light around the edges of the gray clouds...

Cathe

April 15, 2008

Try the part-time offer! I was always a big fan of Costanza

on Seinfeld. You can do it for a month or so, and see if you can

handle it a little better. I can certainly relate to all the

brainfog symptoms, so I can't even imagine trying to do something

DIFFICULT like programming. I can't keep track of hardly anything

anymore, and I used to be INCREDIBLE.

Just look at it like, " I might not be a great programmer right now,

but I WILL BE AGAIN one day in the future. "

Doug

>

> Thanks,

>

> a

>

April 15, 2008

>Last week I resigned because I couldn't handle working 40 hours a week. My

> supervisor asked if I would stay and work part time – 24 hours a week. This

> is a great offer but I wonder if the stress in itself about my abilities and

> the deadlines is just too much.

Hi a - Sorry to hear that things are tough right now. I can certainly

relate, as I'm

trying to make a decision about taking a job myself at the moment, on top of a

job I

already have, and I wish the opportunity had waited until I had made a little

more progress

with my health.

Doug's suggestion to try it for a trial period is a good one, but I have an

almost opposite

suggestion.

Why not take the part time job (maybe thinking if it as a six month trial), but

request 2 or

3 weeks off first for health purposes. Then you can rest up and feel a bit

better, and you'll

be refreshed when you start your new schedule.

Also, it's not the end of the world to take time off from working altogether if

you can

afford it, and give yourself time for something else. You could take classes,

volunteer on a

nearby farm, or go on a spiritual retreat and then return to working.

Anyway, whatever you decide to do, good luck!!

April 15, 2008

I wish I had something profound to say, but it's all lost in the fog

in my head. I am struggling with a job offer, that I would love.

It's hard to sometimes figure out which end is up. You are right

about it being nice to say this to others who can understand where

you are at. I don't like being thought of as lazy or forgetful.

That is not me, and remember that is not you! I have no suggestions

except follow the diet and listen to your body. Bad stress doesn't

help. I keep taking a small tsp of VCO as a little pick me up of

energy during the days that I'm home with the kids, and I keep

thinking I need to remember to bring some for lunch at work. Good

luck and God bless.

P.

>

> Hi All,

> I am such a mess... I have anxiety that I can't finish it, I am

having trouble remembering how to do simple things that I have done

before, I am having trouble concentrating, and basically I feel like

a loser and failure. I am trying to tell myself that this is

Candida but can't shake the " I am not a good programmer " feeling.

This is a great offer but I wonder if the stress in itself about my

abilities and the deadlines is just too much.

> Thanks,

> a

>

April 16, 2008

Hi a,

YES YES I know exactly what you mean! I quit my hellish management

job in February (probably the " top " position I'll ever have) and have

been packing berries at a local berry farm for minimum wage ever

since. I cannot express the peace that has come into my life because

of this decision :) I know it sounds exaggerated, but quitting

that job saved my life! If you can afford to, you could take a break

at the very least, as Cathe suggested. Your boss sounds very

accommodating... you could have a go at that part time position and

always quit later. I have chosen for a career change myself, because

I know that I will never get well if I stay in the stresses of

management.

Look after yourself,

> Last week I resigned because I couldn't handle working 40 hours a week.

April 17, 2008

Thank you all so much for your encouragement and feedback. It has really

helped me.

a

April 17, 2008

>Why not take the part time job (maybe thinking if it as a six month trial),

but request 2 or

>3 weeks off first for health purposes. Then you can rest up and feel a bit

better, and you'll

>be refreshed when you start your new schedule.

We have a May 20th deadline for all the programming to be done for this

project. If I take 2 or 3 weeks off they would have to give my entire

portion to someone else. Not sure they would be willing to do so but it's

worth a try. I told them I would give part time a try, the problem is I am

still stressed about the code I am writing, how well I am doing, whether I

will get things done on time, etc. Then there is travel coming up to one of

our distribution centers and that means eating out 3 times a day and working

10 to 12 hour days for 3 or 4 days.

In September when we go for the actual installation of this program we'll be

there about 2 weeks working 12 to 18 hour days. Considering how badly I

still feel I doubt I will feel up to it by then.

>Also, it's not the end of the world to take time off from working

altogether if you can afford it, and give yourself time for something else.

You could take classes, volunteer on a

>nearby farm, or go on a spiritual retreat and then return to working.

More and more I am thinking that quitting and resting, or taking a part time

job doing something fun like work with animals or something that doesn't

require " thinking " would be better. I had my doctor run some tests because I

wasn't getting better and he found a Clostridium difficile infection among

other things like bacterial overgrowth. There is a lot going on with me so

resting would be good.

>Anyway, whatever you decide to do, good luck!!

>

I appreciate the feedback - let us know what you decide about the job.

a

..

<http://geo./serv?s=97359714/grpId=12553909/grpspId=1705060827/msgI

d=52348/stime=1208295003/nc1=5191948/nc2=5191951/nc3=3848644>

December 26, 2008

>

> Hey Everyone,

>

> I've been on this diet to cure my rosacea. It has been a very

> frusterating stuggle so far. I've always taken immaculate care of

my

> skin. I'm so careful with it and with everything I eat, but it just

> keeps flaring up on me.

+++Hi Kate. It is understandable that you are experiencing " flare-

ups " of your rosacea since your body " retraces " any past episodes

you've had with it, according to Hering's Law of Cure:

http://www.healingnaturallybybee.com/articles/menu1_1_2.php

>Everyone tells me that it's genetic and there's nothing I can

really do.

+++Genetics aren't set in stone, meaning you can't change it, because

you can. Toxins and poor nutrition damages DNA/genes, but by the

same token " proper nutrition " corrects DNA/genes. This is according

to many reputable researchers, including Dr. Weston A. Price in his

book " Nutrition and Physical Degeneration. " See this Success Story

by Jen who cured her rosacea on this program:

http://www.healingnaturallybybee.com/success/ss34a.php

Besides the fact that all skin eruptions, including rosacea, acne,

eczema, psoriasis, moles, skin tags, etc. are all because toxins are

being released by the body through the skin. That is a survival

mechanism since it protects vital inner organs.

Hang in there Kate. It takes time and patience. It will take 1

month of natural healing for every year you've had rosacea.

There are many people who have also cured it on this program, but I

just didn't have the time to collect their stories - search our

Messages for them.

Many other skin diseases have also been cured on this program,

including skin tags, acne, eczema, etc. - see these Success Stories:

http://www.healingnaturallybybee.com/success/ss2a.php

http://www.healingnaturallybybee.com/success/ss20b.php

http://www.healingnaturallybybee.com/success/ss28a.php

http://www.healingnaturallybybee.com/success/ss15a.php

Healing hugs, Bee

February 1, 2009

I do not post very often, but I'm having a horrible month. My son just turned

four and still no progress in his speech. He attends speech therapy 2 times a

week for an hour and goes to a special pre-k program with speech therapy there

as well. He has not been officially diagnosed with apraxia yet but that seems to

be the consensus among all the professionals. I'm just afraid I will never hear

him ask me a question, tell me about his day, or how he is feeling. I feel I am

missing out on those things that so many parents get to do. I guess I need to

hear from others that speech is possible for our kids. I feel so very lost.

February 1, 2009

Kim we need to get you someone competent to evaluate your child!! In

my opinion the professionals he's working with now...shame on them!!

There's no excuse for your child to not even have a formal diagnosis

yet -and it's clear that they haven't been doing the appropriate

therapy your child needs. If no progress in 3 months you need to

reevaluate therapy, therapist, and/or diagnosis.

Please let us know what state you are in. Apraxia is up there as one

of the most severe impairments of speech -and we see one success story

after another here. But...without the appropriate therapies -zip

-nada -nothing. Apraxia is not a condition one outgrows -it's a

condition that one overcomes.

I have to run out but I have below some support email (I didn't read

again but think this will help) I'm sure you'll hear from others too

-and I know I have more to add on this later!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You are doing a great job of keeping your chin up- but it's clear you

need support right now too. I have a number of emails below about

support -husbands in denial- but not sure which if any has advice

that will mean something to help you as I don't know enough about

your situation. May just be my opinion but why try to get your

husband to agree with the diagnosis or with going to therapy as it's

clear in your words he's moved on to a new family with new children

(in 2 months after your divorce?)

I'm not saying don't have him in Christian's life -of course he

should be- but it appears you are the primary care taker of Christian

right? Just let him know what you are doing and if he wants to take

part he will -and if not you'll be making sure that Christian has you

there. We have a number of single parents in this group who will

reach out to help you. One of them is Kathy who lost her husband in

a car accident when her apraxic twins were just 3 years old...and she

had 2 other young children as well!!! That was 7 years ago -Kathy

I'm sure would be happy to talk to you -or share with you here some

of what helped her in those early days.

About Christian's birth defects that he's overcoming -what are they?

what is the surgery that the poor little guy has to go through

again? He's so fortunate to have you. Give him a huge hug from

me!!!

What book did you read? The Late Talker?

Also what brand/formula/dosage of fish oil did you try? On another

note if Christian is only 2 years old it may be a bit young to

definitely diagnose verbal apraxia -unless it's oral apraxia. Most

diagnose as " suspected apraxia " and appropriate therapy should begin

just in case. And if apraxia is suspected Christian should be taken

to a neurodevelopmental pediatrician or pediatric neurologist to

confirm or rule out any " soft signs " . Don't get more worried most

are subtle things that he can overcome via therapy, Also perhaps the

eval from a neurologist will bring your ex around to respect the

diagnosis? Try to stay away from the word " developmental "

or " childhood " as they both to the lay person (and the insurance

company) imply that your child will outgrow his " apraxia " and yes in

most cases it's not limited to speech -that's par for the course for

most apraxics.

Below is a huge amount of support archives...I hope some of these

help and please get back to us with a bit more information for us to

help!

Here's an archive for dealing with your husband from 2001 -this comes

up quite often and it's not always a bad thing:

Re: In the midst of despair there is hope!/denial

Hi Dani,

About husband issues with your 26 month old...What I want to say is

hard to explain and being that I'm writing it-and not talking right

to you- I hope it comes out right and you can understand.

What we see as denial in our husbands can sometimes be positive as

long as both parents-mom and dad work together (if possible-of course

single parents don't have to worry about these types of issues!) For

example, when wrote that beautiful post the other day about

overcoming hardship and despair with the support of her husband at

her side keep in mind that she wrote that about 13 years after she

was in the same situation as you. I know and her wonderful

family, and just because " at some point " husbands are there as

support systems for you as well in the way you want them to be

doesn't mean that they are not there all along.

Stress in the marriage is not uncommon when there is a child with a

disability of any sort. I mean even if you leave a child alone with

your husband to run to the store and you come back to find an ice

pack on your child's head there may be a bit of craziness between the

two of you until communication has a chance to help the understanding

part get it's job done. With the balance of the two parents-it

appears that children are able get the best of both worlds-they get

the fatherly push -and the motherly nurturing-and then the fatherly

nurturing and the motherly push.

Parenting isn't always easy-especially when we find out about

something that affects our precious and helpless children's life -we

as parents feel responsible to pick them up, brush them off and fix

what's wrong. We want to say " Mommy's (Daddy's) here sweetheart " and

make " it " all better. But even before that we first need to be ready

to hear, believe and accept that there is something -no matter how

minor or great- " wrong " .

Your husband walked in to find you hugging your baby and crying. The

word " wrong " is not welcomed in the best possible situations, but it

helps if it comes from the professionals instead of us. Let him be

the one to " kick them out of the house " like he says. Or walk out of

the neurologist's office to find another opinion-and then another.

Not accepting right away a negative diagnosis is not a bad thing as

you will find out. I even found some links about this below you may

read..

And...After all-hypothetically he could be right. So why not " make

sure " and double and triple check and give it some time. Doesn't

mean the therapy can't start -just means that he doesn't have

to " accept it " yet. Not being ready to accept right away also

doesn't mean that he's not going to love and accept your child for

who they are and no matter where they end up. Lots of this I know.

You are not going to believe why-my husband was in denial too-but so

was I!!! When I was taking Tanner to therapy and worried about him

on one hand-in the back of my mind-I too believed that he would " just

start talking. " You know everyone has their age they accept. May be

three-may be five.

I understand there may be issues with outside of speech. I

understand that too. Your child is still young- I can tell you from

personal experience that even delays that are a combination of

physical and developmental challenges can be overcome-I know this

from my first born son Dakota-my miracle child. There is always

hope, which is the message that was trying to say. I hope I

said it OK. But if not-here are some links (and snips) that may help!

http://www.kidsource.com/NICHCY/parenting.disab.all.4.2.html

" If you have recently learned that your child is developmentally

delayed or has a disability (which may or may not be completely

defined), this message may be for you. It is written from the

personal perspective of a parent who has shared this experience and

all that goes with it.

When parents learn about any difficulty or problem in their child's

development, this information comes as a tremendous blow. The day my

child was diagnosed as having a disability, I was devastated -- and

so confused that I recall little else about those first days other

than the heartbreak. Another parent described this event as a " black

sack " being pulled down over her head, blocking her ability to hear,

see, and think in normal ways. Another parent described the trauma

as " having a knife stuck " in her heart. Perhaps these descriptions

seem a bit dramatic, yet it has been my experience that they may not

sufficiently describe the many emotions that flood parents' minds and

hearts when they receive any bad news about their child.

Many things can be done to help yourself through this period of

trauma. That is what this paper is all about. In order to talk about

some of the good things that can happen to alleviate the anxiety, let

us first take a look at some of the reactions that occur...

Common Reactions

On learning that their child may have a disability, most parents

react in ways that have been shared by all parents before them who

have also been faced with this disappointment and with this enormous

challenge. One of the first reactions is that of denial -- " This

cannot be happening to me, to my child, to our family. " Denial

rapidly merges with anger, which may be directed toward the medical

personnel who were involved in providing the information about the

child's problem. Anger can also color communication between husband

and wife or with grandparents or significant others in the family.

Early on, it seems that the anger is so intense that it touches

almost anyone, because it is triggered by the feelings of grief and

inexplicable loss that one does not know how to explain or deal

with... "

http://www.kidsource.com/NICHCY/parenting.disab.all.4.2.html

http://www.indiana.edu/~hperf558/periodic.html

" Time-bound models of grief and mourning

These have been developed by a number of people (Bowlby, 1980; Engel,

1961; Kubler- Ross, 1969; Lindeman, 1944), but a representative model

(Clubb, 1991) describes a linear and temporal sequence of:

*impact

-shock, anxiety and disorganisation.

-Is short lived.

*denial

-protest.

-Is a defence mechanism.

*grief

-anger, guilt, despair, sadness, blame.

*reorganisation

-focussing attention outwards.

*closure

-acceptance.

The central and important concept in this model is that

of " acceptance " , which is implicit in a healthy adjustment, the

corollary being that failure to " accept " is maladaptive, pathological

and requires intervention...

Discussion

There is an emerging body of literature which is questioning the

concept of denial as maladaptive, and is providing some alternative

interpretations. (1993) challenges the traditional view, and

suggests that " ...denial buffers the individual against what is

sometimes a bleak reality " . He cautions health professionals against

asking their clients to be " unrealistically realistic " , distinguishes

between acceptance and adaptation, and states that successful

adaptation is not dependent upon acceptance.

(1989) has contributed a large body of work which relates to

peoples' ability to benefit from tragedy. She questions the long-held

assumption that accurate perceptions of reality are a critical

component of mental health and challenges the established wisdom. Her

research indicates that normal human thought and perception is marked

by positive, self-enhancing illusions about the self, the world and

the future. These she calls " positive illusions " , and believes they

are instrumental in enabling people to overcome adversity in their

lives. Brown (1993) raises the question of these positive illusions

being merely defence mechanisms in disguise, but draws a distinction

based upon defence mechanisms being unconscious and involving

distortions of reality, whereas positive illusions are a cognitive

reinterpretation which are subject to control and revision and, as

such do not involve major distortions of reality, but rather involve

variations in how reality is interpreted or represented. They are

seen as strategies which enable people to feel better and function

more effectively. Counsins (1989) says that an optimistic outlook

does not necessarily equate with a denial of reality. He provides an

interpretation which is based upon an understanding of reality, but a

refusal to accept the implications which this reality suggests... "

http://www.indiana.edu/~hperf558/periodic.html

=====

February 1, 2009

+

I would very much like a recommendation for my 4 year old (in two

weeks). I live in Michigan. Detroit,Port Huron, Romeo, Sterling

Heights, Utica and even Sarnia, Cananada are closer cities for me.

Thank you so much. I could just cry, as a matter of fact, the tears

are rolling down my eyes as I type. I am so happy my older son happen

to find this group for me. I had no idea about these fish oils

(Nordic Natural being so important)I have gone from their Omega 3's to

the BodyBio balance which is combo of Sunflower and Flax Seed

oil, Omega 3,6,an 9's. I don't know the percent of the EPA and GLA.

Is it worth finding out or should I just switch to the Nordic Natural

ProEPA? I have lots to learn.

Thank you everyone. May God bless you all for your efforts with your

children and to help others gain knowledge and receive support.

Jane

www.KidsHealthNaturally.som

\\\\ , " kiddietalk "

<kiddietalk@...> wrote:

>

> Kim we need to get you someone competent to evaluate your child!! In

> my opinion the professionals he's working with now...shame on them!!

> There's no excuse for your child to not even have a formal diagnosis

> yet -and it's clear that they haven't been doing the appropriate

> therapy your child needs. If no progress in 3 months you need to

> reevaluate therapy, therapist, and/or diagnosis.

>

> Please let us know what state you are in. Apraxia is up there as one

> of the most severe impairments of speech -and we see one success story

> after another here. But...without the appropriate therapies -zip

> -nada -nothing. Apraxia is not a condition one outgrows -it's a

> condition that one overcomes.

>

> I have to run out but I have below some support email (I didn't read

> again but think this will help) I'm sure you'll hear from others too

> -and I know I have more to add on this later!

>

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>

> You are doing a great job of keeping your chin up- but it's clear you

> need support right now too. I have a number of emails below about

> support -husbands in denial- but not sure which if any has advice

> that will mean something to help you as I don't know enough about

> your situation. May just be my opinion but why try to get your

> husband to agree with the diagnosis or with going to therapy as it's

> clear in your words he's moved on to a new family with new children

> (in 2 months after your divorce?)

>

> I'm not saying don't have him in Christian's life -of course he

> should be- but it appears you are the primary care taker of Christian

> right? Just let him know what you are doing and if he wants to take

> part he will -and if not you'll be making sure that Christian has you

> there. We have a number of single parents in this group who will

> reach out to help you. One of them is Kathy who lost her husband in

> a car accident when her apraxic twins were just 3 years old...and she

> had 2 other young children as well!!! That was 7 years ago -Kathy

> I'm sure would be happy to talk to you -or share with you here some

> of what helped her in those early days.

>

> About Christian's birth defects that he's overcoming -what are they?

> what is the surgery that the poor little guy has to go through

> again? He's so fortunate to have you. Give him a huge hug from

> me!!!

>

> What book did you read? The Late Talker?

> Also what brand/formula/dosage of fish oil did you try? On another

> note if Christian is only 2 years old it may be a bit young to

> definitely diagnose verbal apraxia -unless it's oral apraxia. Most

> diagnose as " suspected apraxia " and appropriate therapy should begin

> just in case. And if apraxia is suspected Christian should be taken

> to a neurodevelopmental pediatrician or pediatric neurologist to

> confirm or rule out any " soft signs " . Don't get more worried most

> are subtle things that he can overcome via therapy, Also perhaps the

> eval from a neurologist will bring your ex around to respect the

> diagnosis? Try to stay away from the word " developmental "

> or " childhood " as they both to the lay person (and the insurance

> company) imply that your child will outgrow his " apraxia " and yes in

> most cases it's not limited to speech -that's par for the course for

> most apraxics.

>

> Below is a huge amount of support archives...I hope some of these

> help and please get back to us with a bit more information for us to

> help!

>

> Here's an archive for dealing with your husband from 2001 -this comes

> up quite often and it's not always a bad thing:

>

> Re: In the midst of despair there is hope!/denial

>

> Hi Dani,

>

> About husband issues with your 26 month old...What I want to say is

> hard to explain and being that I'm writing it-and not talking right

> to you- I hope it comes out right and you can understand.

>

> What we see as denial in our husbands can sometimes be positive as

> long as both parents-mom and dad work together (if possible-of course

> single parents don't have to worry about these types of issues!) For

> example, when wrote that beautiful post the other day about

> overcoming hardship and despair with the support of her husband at

> her side keep in mind that she wrote that about 13 years after she

> was in the same situation as you. I know and her wonderful

> family, and just because " at some point " husbands are there as

> support systems for you as well in the way you want them to be

> doesn't mean that they are not there all along.

>

> Stress in the marriage is not uncommon when there is a child with a

> disability of any sort. I mean even if you leave a child alone with

> your husband to run to the store and you come back to find an ice

> pack on your child's head there may be a bit of craziness between the

> two of you until communication has a chance to help the understanding

> part get it's job done. With the balance of the two parents-it

> appears that children are able get the best of both worlds-they get

> the fatherly push -and the motherly nurturing-and then the fatherly

> nurturing and the motherly push.

>

> Parenting isn't always easy-especially when we find out about

> something that affects our precious and helpless children's life -we

> as parents feel responsible to pick them up, brush them off and fix

> what's wrong. We want to say " Mommy's (Daddy's) here sweetheart " and

> make " it " all better. But even before that we first need to be ready

> to hear, believe and accept that there is something -no matter how

> minor or great- " wrong " .

>

> Your husband walked in to find you hugging your baby and crying. The

> word " wrong " is not welcomed in the best possible situations, but it

> helps if it comes from the professionals instead of us. Let him be

> the one to " kick them out of the house " like he says. Or walk out of

> the neurologist's office to find another opinion-and then another.

> Not accepting right away a negative diagnosis is not a bad thing as

> you will find out. I even found some links about this below you may

> read..

>

> And...After all-hypothetically he could be right. So why not " make

> sure " and double and triple check and give it some time. Doesn't

> mean the therapy can't start -just means that he doesn't have

> to " accept it " yet. Not being ready to accept right away also

> doesn't mean that he's not going to love and accept your child for

> who they are and no matter where they end up. Lots of this I know.

> You are not going to believe why-my husband was in denial too-but so

> was I!!! When I was taking Tanner to therapy and worried about him

> on one hand-in the back of my mind-I too believed that he would " just

> start talking. " You know everyone has their age they accept. May be

> three-may be five.

>

> I understand there may be issues with outside of speech. I

> understand that too. Your child is still young- I can tell you from

> personal experience that even delays that are a combination of

> physical and developmental challenges can be overcome-I know this

> from my first born son Dakota-my miracle child. There is always

> hope, which is the message that was trying to say. I hope I

> said it OK. But if not-here are some links (and snips) that may help!

>

> http://www.kidsource.com/NICHCY/parenting.disab.all.4.2.html

>

> " If you have recently learned that your child is developmentally

> delayed or has a disability (which may or may not be completely

> defined), this message may be for you. It is written from the

> personal perspective of a parent who has shared this experience and

> all that goes with it.

>

> When parents learn about any difficulty or problem in their child's

> development, this information comes as a tremendous blow. The day my

> child was diagnosed as having a disability, I was devastated -- and

> so confused that I recall little else about those first days other

> than the heartbreak. Another parent described this event as a " black

> sack " being pulled down over her head, blocking her ability to hear,

> see, and think in normal ways. Another parent described the trauma

> as " having a knife stuck " in her heart. Perhaps these descriptions

> seem a bit dramatic, yet it has been my experience that they may not

> sufficiently describe the many emotions that flood parents' minds and

> hearts when they receive any bad news about their child.

>

> Many things can be done to help yourself through this period of

> trauma. That is what this paper is all about. In order to talk about

> some of the good things that can happen to alleviate the anxiety, let

> us first take a look at some of the reactions that occur...

>

> Common Reactions

> On learning that their child may have a disability, most parents

> react in ways that have been shared by all parents before them who

> have also been faced with this disappointment and with this enormous

> challenge. One of the first reactions is that of denial -- " This

> cannot be happening to me, to my child, to our family. " Denial

> rapidly merges with anger, which may be directed toward the medical

> personnel who were involved in providing the information about the

> child's problem. Anger can also color communication between husband

> and wife or with grandparents or significant others in the family.

> Early on, it seems that the anger is so intense that it touches

> almost anyone, because it is triggered by the feelings of grief and

> inexplicable loss that one does not know how to explain or deal

> with... "

> http://www.kidsource.com/NICHCY/parenting.disab.all.4.2.html

>

> http://www.indiana.edu/~hperf558/periodic.html

>

> " Time-bound models of grief and mourning

> These have been developed by a number of people (Bowlby, 1980; Engel,

> 1961; Kubler- Ross, 1969; Lindeman, 1944), but a representative model

> (Clubb, 1991) describes a linear and temporal sequence of:

>

> *impact

> -shock, anxiety and disorganisation.

> -Is short lived.

> *denial

> -protest.

> -Is a defence mechanism.

> *grief

> -anger, guilt, despair, sadness, blame.

> *reorganisation

> -focussing attention outwards.

> *closure

> -acceptance.

>

> The central and important concept in this model is that

> of " acceptance " , which is implicit in a healthy adjustment, the

> corollary being that failure to " accept " is maladaptive, pathological

> and requires intervention...

>

> Discussion

> There is an emerging body of literature which is questioning the

> concept of denial as maladaptive, and is providing some alternative

> interpretations. (1993) challenges the traditional view, and

> suggests that " ...denial buffers the individual against what is

> sometimes a bleak reality " . He cautions health professionals against

> asking their clients to be " unrealistically realistic " , distinguishes

> between acceptance and adaptation, and states that successful

> adaptation is not dependent upon acceptance.

>

> (1989) has contributed a large body of work which relates to

> peoples' ability to benefit from tragedy. She questions the long-held

> assumption that accurate perceptions of reality are a critical

> component of mental health and challenges the established wisdom. Her

> research indicates that normal human thought and perception is marked

> by positive, self-enhancing illusions about the self, the world and

> the future. These she calls " positive illusions " , and believes they

> are instrumental in enabling people to overcome adversity in their

> lives. Brown (1993) raises the question of these positive illusions

> being merely defence mechanisms in disguise, but draws a distinction

> based upon defence mechanisms being unconscious and involving

> distortions of reality, whereas positive illusions are a cognitive

> reinterpretation which are subject to control and revision and, as

> such do not involve major distortions of reality, but rather involve

> variations in how reality is interpreted or represented. They are

> seen as strategies which enable people to feel better and function

> more effectively. Counsins (1989) says that an optimistic outlook

> does not necessarily equate with a denial of reality. He provides an

> interpretation which is based upon an understanding of reality, but a

> refusal to accept the implications which this reality suggests... "

> http://www.indiana.edu/~hperf558/periodic.html

>

> =====

>

February 1, 2009

I live in Nevada. I agree that I need someone who is competent to evaluate my

child. We have been to 2 SLP's, 2 OT's, a neurologist, a child psychiatrist, the

school district on several occasions, and his pediatrition too many times to

count. Everyone seems to have a differnet opinion, except those who see him a

lot. These people feel it is apraxia. We tried the fish oils for about 2 months

and no matter what dosage I used, it made him an emotional wreck. The

neurologist suggests having an MRI, as well as a chomosome panel,chemistry

panel, fragil x testing,thyroid panel, and and a base line CBC. I'm so very

tired of being angey, frustrated, and crying all the time. I guess I just want

the magic answer of when will he talk or how do I go about about getting him the

help he needs. Thanks so much for your support.

Kim

From: kiddietalk <kiddietalk@...>

Subject: [ ] Re: Need some encouragement

Date: Sunday, February 1, 2009, 5:59 PM

Kim we need to get you someone competent to evaluate your child!! In

my opinion the professionals he's working with now...shame on them!!

There's no excuse for your child to not even have a formal diagnosis

yet -and it's clear that they haven't been doing the appropriate

therapy your child needs. If no progress in 3 months you need to

reevaluate therapy, therapist, and/or diagnosis.

Please let us know what state you are in. Apraxia is up there as one

of the most severe impairments of speech -and we see one success story

after another here. But...without the appropriate therapies -zip

-nada -nothing. Apraxia is not a condition one outgrows -it's a

condition that one overcomes.

February 1, 2009

Kim

Where in Nevada do you live? I used to live in Las Vegas so I am

curious as to who you have seen? Which fish oils did you use (brand,

amount etc)?

It wouldn't hurt to get the testing done on your child. My neurologist

did similar testing on my daughter and what it did do for us was rule

out any metabolic or brain disorder (i.e. CP, epilepsy, tumor etc etc)

and pretty much confirm apraxia. Once she got that dx, then her speech

pathologist was more comfortable agreeing with the dx of apraxia too.

I don't know why so many people are hesitant to give the dx of apraxia

other than perhaps they are not well informed about it?

WHen you say " these people who see him a lot feel its apraxia " which

professionals are you referring to when you say these people?

I guess we can give you more help once we have some answers and a

bigger picture of whats going on with you and your child.

Lori

>

> I live in Nevada. I agree that I need someone who is competent to

evaluate my child. We have been to 2 SLP's, 2 OT's, a neurologist, a

child psychiatrist, the school district on several occasions, and his

pediatrition too many times to count. Everyone seems to have a

differnet opinion, except those who see him a lot. These people feel

it is apraxia. We tried the fish oils for about 2 months and no matter

what dosage I used, it made him an emotional wreck. The neurologist

suggests having an MRI, as well as a chomosome panel,chemistry panel,

fragil x testing,thyroid panel, and and a base line CBC. I'm so very

tired of being angey, frustrated, and crying all the time. I guess I

just want the magic answer of when will he talk or how do I go about

about getting him the help he needs. Thanks so much for your support.

> Kim

>

February 2, 2009

hi jane,

do you have a dan?

here are some listed in michigan

robert dejonge 616-956-6090 grand rapids

mark leventer

grass lak mi

517-522-8403

allen lewis

warrenville il

866-504-6076 tollfree

richard linsk

ann arbor mi

734-786-3833

james neuenschwander

734-955-3200

ann arbor mi

julie stevens

mt pleasant mi

989-772-7600

I am sorry that things are not going well. there is hope. I would encourage

you to get a dan so that your child's program can be tailored to dyour child's

needs.

also, www.thepromptinstitute.org can give you a list of prompt therapists in

your zip code. if you email ernie with the 5 closest zip codes, he can tell you

who has gone throught the course.

We have all been there, and in many ways still are. hang in there, there is

hope.

sharon

The information transmitted is intended only for the person or entity to which

it is addressed and may contain confidential, proprietary, and/or privileged

material. Any review, retransmission, dissemination or other use of, or taking

of any action in reliance upon, this information by persons or entities other

than the intended recipient is prohibited. If you receive this in error, please

contact the sender and delete the material from all computers.

Sharon Lang

From: jtag57 <jtgiannattasio@...>

Subject: [ ] Re: Need some encouragement

Date: Sunday, February 1, 2009, 4:46 PM