totally frustrated!!!

[Guest guest]

Hello -

I am so completely and utterly frustrated!  Josh was having aggression problems

at school in October, we (my ex and I) met with school folks to deal with it,

school said they were going to do a functional behavior study on Josh (we

shrugged out shoulders and said good luck - you've got a kid with sensory

integration dysfunction and you're hoping to find a pattern?  there are some

things that will always set him off - someone too close, loud noise, etc. - but,

really, it can be something new or different, or something that hasn't set him

off before if he's having a bad day for some other reason that they don't

consider - we all know what I'm talking about), and my ex suggested taking Josh

to a counselor.  Bear in mind, I've made so many suggestions to the school with

strategies that I use at home that work pretty much all the time, but no, most

of them don't get implemented at school.  So, I started taking Josh to a

counselor in November.  Since

then, he's made many suggestions (a lot that I had already made, many that are

new) and I pass along all the suggestions in an email to the teacher, the school

psychologist, and my ex - I write the emails the day of sessions so that I can

remember all that we talked about during the sessions.  Then, I try to follow up

with notes in Josh's notebook that goes home/to school everyday.  Well, today,

the doc said he had a message from the school psychologist asking to speak with

him to get ideas of what to put in a behavior plan for Josh.  AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

What does she think I've been doing all this time???  I feel like I'm talking to

a brick wall!  I don't think a single thing I've written about that has been

discussed with the doc has been implemented at school!!  I've tried to check up

on things all along and I get the " oh, we haven't started that yet " line - since

November!!!!  What is with these people???!!!

And, the ex and his wife wanted to meet with the doc - without Josh - and no one

could figure out why.  Bear in mind, there has been a neurologist, a

psychiatrist, a psychologist, this counselor, teachers, and other therapists

(speech, etc.), who all agree Josh does not have autism - he has never been

placed on the spectrum.  The ex has convinced himself, notwithstanding all these

professional opinions, that Josh really does have autism - that's one of the

things they wanted to talk to the doc about.  He again told them Josh does not

have autism.  (the ex, when Josh was little, convinced himself Josh had CP

because Josh, when excited, brings his hands up into " high guard, " which we were

told was a developmental thing - every single doc we ever saw told the ex it was

not CP but it took him almost 5 years to finally let that one go).  And, the

ex's wife told the doc she feels she has a " special connection " to Josh - keep

in mind the ex cancels his

afternoon visits (when he simply takes Josh train-hunting in his car and gives

him dinner at my house) all the time, and he has Josh for, usually, one

overnight visit every third weekend so he doesn't see Josh very much which means

the wife sees Josh even less so what the heck kind of " special connection " can

there be???  I asked the doc whether the wife explained what the " special

connection " meant and he said she didn't and he didn't know what she meant

either.  And, even though she has this " special connection " with MY SON, she

needed to ask the doc about other strategies she can use to help Josh.  OK, I'm

all for all of us being on the same page but for cripes sake, I send the same

email to the ex as I do to school, listing all the strategies the doc suggests

at everyone of these sessions!  Again, what is wrong with these people!!!???

So, I'm totally frustrated with everything right now!!!! I know I just need to

go take a walk, take a deep breath (OK, a lot of deep breaths!), and have a cup

of chamomile tea, so I thank everyone for letting me rant for these few minutes!

Sherry (and Josh)