Re: *SIGH*

[Guest guest]

Dont you dare give up. I know exactly what you mean about doing a video to feel better when you have been off program. You still have to give yourself credit. We all know if you eat junk you feel like junk.

NH... Mom to Abby Liz 10/94 Anne 7/99

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/6/2006 10:42:12 AM Pacific Standard Time, asmallersapphyre@... writes:

I've done so poorly this week. I've barely moved, I've been eating junk, just done awful. I may go back on the Blast Off for a couple of weeks to get some of this junk out of my system.

Yeah, what you said! LOL, get back on board and walk or something. Log your eating and things will work out again

One good thing I've done was bought 4 30 oz tumblers from Walmart so I KNOW how much water I'm consuming a day. So far 90 oz, or 3 tumblers full.

WOW, I should look at that. One or two for work, then one or two for home....

I just need to get in the swing of things. I did get out some today probably got in about 4000 steps, I've not put my ped on. What happened to the energy and stamina I had just two weeks ago!? I'm determined to do better. I'm not giving up!

Good girl!! Knew you could do it!!

[Guest guest]

Yay Sapphyre!! Wwoooooohooooo!! You go girl!! That is a huge victory for you not turning to food over that. Way to go!!

[Guest guest]

Ugh...people can be so mean. But it's fantastic that you didn't

turn to food to bury your hurt. Good for you, Sapphyre!

-Bonnie

> I got insulted today. In chat. Not that it happens rarely, I've

found in chatrooms if you divulge too much of yourself there's someone

there to pick it apart and rip it to peices, just for fun.

>

[Guest guest]

WTG - you knew that ceral wouldn't make you fell any better and you won out!!! Sapphyre <asmallersapphyre@...> wrote: I got insulted today. In chat. Not that it happens rarely, I've found in chatrooms if you divulge too much of yourself there's someone there to pick it apart and rip it to peices, just for fun.But this was from a person I thought of as a friend. Afterward,

I thought of nothing but a bowl of cereal. I'd had 1293 calories and before the insult was fine to make that it for the day and be proud, I wasn't hungry after all, why add more calories? But then, THAT. And I got thinking of cereal. We have some, vanilla shredded miniwheats ... good stuff. But I realized I didn't want the cereal, that the cereal was a bandaid and even after I ate the cereal, my insulter would still be in the room to deal with when I went back in. And wouldnt it be better to not eat the cereal, have a good low day, another good weighin ... and make Mr. Insulter eat his filthy words? I didn't eat it. I feel alright, I'm watching a movie that I like a lot and it's taken my mind from it some, but this is the final step. Telling you guys and purging it from my system once and for all. Because he's a small

minded jerk and knows NOTHING about me and I'm not letting his hatefulness get the better of me. He's not worth it. He doesn't get to win. I win! -Sapphy . Live, Love, Laugh

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

From: Sapphyre

> I didn't eat it.

If you had eaten it you would have felt worse, not better. Good job not

letting stress make you turn to food.

Ann

[Guest guest]

ah Theresa, I am so very sorry to hear your news

and wish you were closer so I 'could help you cry'.

One of my good friends recently went through similar struggles.

I'm another one who figures there's always at least a chance (when I was very sick in a very different way, I said there had to be at least one chance in a thousand) -- and, for me, looking for possibilities was way more interesting that sitting and waiting.

I used to try something for a while, and then if/when it didn't work, I'd collapse in depression -- and then eventually 'dust myself off....'

but I had a way easier diagnosis....

I guess for each person there is a way that must be found, and that is no doubt the right way to go. I think, anyway...

Jean

*sigh*

Hi everyone I joined a few months ago and have never posted anything .. Im not sure why , maybe I felt like no one could understand where Im coming from . I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer but it wasnt untill I was at stage 5 then it spread into my lymph nodes .. I have been going through chemo after chemo test after test and now my body is to weak to do anymore.. I need time for my immune system to build up .. then I will try more treatments They say my odds are not good and I say go to hell your not God and then I look at myself in the mirror and see what all can see, a sick girl who truly lost hope I have been trying so hard to be strong and its not working .. I get so angry cuz I came home to care for my mother who died last august of cancer and I got so caught up in her that I forgot about myself and check ups.. If only I could go back and redo this, I would:(

I will be 31 this august 31st lol seems funny to me 31 on the 31st like maybe it has a meaning lol I can't even keep the same line of thoughts as I write this and its not like I have anyone here to turn to .. Its only me left now and I live in a small town in Montana .. I just wished I could fall into someones arms and cry for a long time, I just need to cry and I can't .. anyways I dont know what else to say only I needed to write this meaningless ramblings

Theresa~

[Guest guest]

>

> Thanks for the hugs - I will update all tomorrow... lots of pain,

losing some

> people, and have a body from hell, living a part in the play of

life that

> really sucks....

>

> thanks for all your prayers and concerns. It cheered me a bit to

think someone

> would actually miss me... because nobody here would.... I am really

and truly

> thinking of leaving my family... not sure for how long or what -

but I need out

> of this situation....

>

> I am very low. Haven't felt this bad about things in months... time

to get out

> the gin...

>

> jana until the morrow....

>

LOL....I don't drink so gin wouldn't do me much good.

Been feeling the same for a few weeks now. The pain in my left hand

seems to be getting worse. Can't tell if it's more from the lupus or

the RA.

But it's good to know you have support in your corner. Keeping a

positive outlook is crucial even though you may not feel you can

sometimes.

Candace

[Guest guest]

I too am so sorry for all your pain, Janalise, --

and hoping you have energy and strength to make best decisions for you anyway

sometimes there just aren't the folks we'd like to have around, and it's extra hard

hugs, Jean

Re: *sigh*

>> Thanks for the hugs - I will update all tomorrow... lots of pain, losing some> people, and have a body from hell, living a part in the play of life that> really sucks....> > thanks for all your prayers and concerns. It cheered me a bit to think someone> would actually miss me... because nobody here would.... I am really and truly> thinking of leaving my family... not sure for how long or what - but I need out> of this situation....> > I am very low. Haven't felt this bad about things in months... time to get out> the gin...> > jana until the morrow....>LOL....I don't drink so gin wouldn't do me much good.Been feeling the same for a few weeks now. The pain in my left hand seems to be getting worse. Can't tell if it's more from the lupus or the RA.:(But it's good to know you have support in your corner. Keeping a positive outlook is crucial even though you may not feel you can sometimes.Candace

[Guest guest]

(((((Theresa))))))

Please remember that no matter how low you are, no matter how bleak it may seem, you are NEVER ALONE! God is always with you and carrying you when it doesn't seem as if anyone is around. I'm learning this through my groups and this board, so please I'm glad you finally posted so we can communicate with you.It was good that you took care of your mother all the way until the end. My oldest sister couldn't care less about my mom, although my dad was taking care of her round the clock. She put her into a nursing home solely with the intent for her to pass away, which mom did within 30 days.

Since that time I've been devoting myself to taking care of my dad and forgetting about myself until he finally told me I needed to take care of myself as he needs me as much as I need him.The doctor last week told me that the mammography indicated nodules and she felt so sorry that I had sore breasts. This could be further from the truth as they DO NOT hurt and I've been told in the past that those nodules are nothing more than lymph nodes.I've got a slew of different diagnosis's, however, I keep on plugging and tend to go off the wall a few times on the board. The fellow members help keep me focused and on track.Please keep posting and remember, you are NEVER alone.

Hugs Love & Prayersette

[Guest guest]

AWWW ;; WE ARE HERE FOR YOU;; WISH I WAS CLOSER ALSO SO I COULD HUG YOU;; BUT IM IN MI;; A LONG WAY FROM MT;;KEEP UP THE FAITH THAT YOU WILL BE HEALED;; MY THOUGHTS & PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU SWEETIE \PRAYERS;;LUV & HUGS DORTall_eyezz_on_me_always <all_eyezz_on_me_always@...> wrote: Hi everyone I joined a few months ago and have never posted anything .. Im not sure why , maybe I felt like no one could understand where Im coming

from . I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer but it wasnt untill I was at stage 5 then it spread into my lymph nodes .. I have been going through chemo after chemo test after test and now my body is to weak to do anymore.. I need time for my immune system to build up .. then I will try more treatments They say my odds are not good and I say go to hell your not God and then I look at myself in the mirror and see what all can see, a sick girl who truly lost hope I have been trying so hard to be strong and its not working .. I get so angry cuz I came home to care for my mother who died last august of cancer and I got so caught up in her that I forgot about myself and check ups.. If only I could go back and redo this, I would:( I will be 31 this august 31st lol seems funny to me 31 on the 31st like maybe it has a meaning lol I can't even keep the same line of thoughts as I

write this and its not like I have anyone here to turn to .. Its only me left now and I live in a small town in Montana .. I just wished I could fall into someones arms and cry for a long time, I just need to cry and I can't .. anyways I dont know what else to say only I needed to write this meaningless ramblings Theresa~

[Guest guest]

Awww Theresa, I'm so sorry for all that you are dealing with ( Wish I could reach through this computer and wrap my arms around you and give you a much needed gentle hug... We're here for you Theresa, keep talking to us...

(((Angel Hugs)))

Helen

Hi everyone I joined a few months ago and have never posted anything .. Im not sure why , maybe I felt like no one could understand where Im coming from . I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer but it wasn't until I was at stage 5 then it spread into my lymph nodes .. I have been going through chemo after chemo test after test and now my body is to weak to do anymore.. I need time for my immune system to build up .. then I will try more treatments They say my odds are not good and I say go to hell your not God and then I look at myself in the mirror and see what all can see, a sick girl who truly lost hope I have been trying so hard to be strong and its not working .. I get so angry cuz I came home to care for my mother who died last august of cancer and I got so caught up in her that I forgot about myself and check ups.. If only I could go back and redo this, I would:(

I will be 31 this august 31st lol seems funny to me 31 on the 31st like maybe it has a meaning lol I can't even keep the same line of thoughts as I write this and its not like I have anyone here to turn to .. Its only me left now and I live in a small town in Montana .. I just wished I could fall into someones arms and cry for a long time, I just need to cry and I can't .. anyways I dont know what else to say only I needed to write this meaningless ramblings

Theresa~Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

i feel that way to, a lot of the time. i have just been making myself get up and go to my appts. i know it isn't good for me and my family if i don't take care of myself. evelynCandace <candacedw@...> wrote: NOT having a good day today.I had a minor doctor's appointment (dermatologist) but when I woke up this morning, I just didn't feel it necessary. Been somewhat frustrated and discouraged for a while now....and it only seems to be getting

WORSE....:(Candycure cystic fibrosis

Don't let your dream ride pass you by. Make it a reality with Autos.

[Guest guest]

Hang in there, Candace ... there is an end to everything (I mean this in a positive way). I too know what discouragement and frustration feels like. I worked for a company for 22 years and they fired me, (just for getting hurt on the job) about 8 mos. later. Since then, my health has been on the downside (mentally, emotionally and physically). I feel so victimized by a system of people in authority that can judge you without batting an eye. I'm so overwhelmed with tons of paper work (attorney, insurance, SSDI, etc.) that I stay in bed for 10-12 hours everyday! I do have a family that supports me and am so grateful for them; yet, sometimes I feel insecure, because I've always been the disciplined working person who got up at 5:00 am and fights over 1 hr. of traffic one way. Now, my body feels like I've aged 12-15 years! I hardly socialize, due to my medical conditions (bad back and blind in one eye, due to glaucoma and much more) and alot of times,

I just can't get myself to take care of things. I'm so limited at excercise and I've always been a pretty athletic person, until my back injury. I've been to a psychologist several times, which was good for me. Yet, something was still missing, so I tried a group therapy, but didn't feel like I fit in (there were a number of people in the group that are manic depressive and bi-polar). My situation is more circumstantial, I think ... for example, if I hit the lottery (I really don't even gamble), about 70% of my problems would just disappear. I wouldn't have to worry about my mortgage, health coverage and my children's future. When I drive my kids to school or pick them up, my mind says, "they don't deserve this." In the meantime, I wait for approval for permanent disability (so far, been turned down once). The last thing I need to do, is sue the company that I worked hard for. I sometimes just don't know how much more a

person can take. If I were to commit suicide, that certainly is no answer and wouldn't be fair to my spouse, or my children. I just couldn't hurt them like that and leave them with that as a solution or option. So, I just hide my feelings, try to appear strong (like my dad used to) and keep alot inside (unless I'm alone; that's when the tears come). I also have an upcoming drs. appt. with a QME who isn't fair. I've seen him once before and he's about 55 miles away. I've protested this appointment, due to the fact that the company has referred to him as, "our defense doctor." Plus, there are plenty of QME's in my own town; yet the judge ordered me to be re-examined by him. He rated my severe back injury at 2%, which is quite an insult! The company's insurance never approved strength conditioning or physical therapy. They only approved (1) shot in my back, which made me worse for (3) weeks! Since then, my

condition has become much worse with sciatica down to both knees. Needless to say, I've had 0 income since the end of May, this year and we are really using our credit cards, but still able to keep the mortgage, even though we eat alot of peanut butter and noodles. My advice would be to go for a little walk in your neighboorhood or local park, think about the positive people or things (experiences) in your life who care about you and try to stay a little busier around the house. Whatever excercise you can do, do it; and keep the lines of communication open with your close family or friends, without burdening them. This support group has helped me and all you people out there should know that I appreciate you. I just joined last week and now I feel like I have another resource to go to, maybe encourage someone, or get encouragement from. So far, I've been humbled by your sufferings. My prayers go

out to you. Thank you optomistic 08 Candace <candacedw@...> wrote: NOT having a good day today.I had a minor doctor's appointment (dermatologist) but when I woke up this morning, I just didn't feel it necessary. Been somewhat frustrated and discouraged for a while now....and it only seems to be getting WORSE....:(Candy

[Guest guest]

Hi Candy,

We all have days like this (I'm having one today also!!!!). We just have to hang in there. I just read a long email from a friend trying to cheer me up. It's always easier for the people who aren't sick (at least that's what I think). I know their lives aren't rosey all the time, but they have a heck of a lot more rosey days than I do!!!!!!!

Today's almost over, tomorrow's a new day. I don't know if you watch TV, but new shows are starting tonight (season premieres), so just try to relax and look deep inside for that "positive thinking" we all try to maintain. Tomorrow will be better......for both of us!!!

Take Care,

*sigh*

NOT having a good day today.I had a minor doctor's appointment (dermatologist) but when I woke up this morning, I just didn't feel it necessary. Been somewhat frustrated and discouraged for a while now....and it only seems to be getting WORSE....:(Candy

[Guest guest]

KEEP YOUR CHIN UP;; THERE WILL BE BETTER DAYS AHEAD FOR YOU ((HEALING HUGS)) DORTCandace <candacedw@...> wrote: NOT having a good day today.I had a minor doctor's appointment (dermatologist) but when I woke up this morning, I just didn't feel it necessary. Been somewhat frustrated and discouraged for a while now....and it only seems to be getting WORSE....:(Candy

[Guest guest]

it is sad isn't it? I have found it difficult to post lately. Maybe it

will get better soon cuz so many have so much to offer! I know I need

support!!!

thank you for being there for me!

krissy

>

> Just wanting to let the list members know that I am going to take a

> break from this group until after the holidays...maybe there won't be

> so much sniping at each other by then.

>

> in OH

>

[Guest guest]

Any time, Friend...Any time! 

H~

 

Come and relax at Abberley House Irish BnB

http://www.abberleyhousebnb.com

 

 

________________________________

From: Krissy <scraphappykrissy@...>

Sent: Thursday, November 20, 2008 1:49:41 PM

Subject: [ ] Re: *SIGH*

it is sad isn't it? I have found it difficult to post lately. Maybe it

will get better soon cuz so many have so much to offer! I know I need

support!!!

thank you for being there for me!

krissy

>

> Just wanting to let the list members know that I am going to take a

> break from this group until after the holidays...maybe there won't be

> so much sniping at each other by then.

>

> in OH

>

[Guest guest]

Sorry to hear this,

I guess this is another example of why I LOVE the delete button. I've

deleted the threads that don't pertain to me, and have obviously misses

something

on those threads. I remain blissfully unaware of the troubles!

:-)

I love being unaware LOL

bek

In a message dated 11/19/2008 9:13:01 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

whitmore_dh@... writes:

Just wanting to let the list members know that I am going to take a

break from this group until after the holidays...maybe there won't be

so much sniping at each other by then.

in OH

**************One site has it all. Your email accounts, your social networks,

and the things you love. Try the new AOL.com

today!(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100000075x1212962939x1200825291/aol?redir=h\

ttp://www.aol.com/?optin=new-dp

%26icid=aolcom40vanity%26ncid=emlcntaolcom00000001)

[Guest guest]

>I hope things go better fro you in the future and you get things

figured out good luck

> Hiya everyone

>

> The appointment with the Neurologist went badly, as I was

expecting! He's 99% certain that I don't have MS but he's referring

me for a " brain scan " just to get the other 1% sure. Apparently I

have " unusual neuro symptoms " according to the blood test form thing

I had done and I definitely don't have Korsikov Syndrome (what I was

diagnosed with when I came out of hospital 5 years ago) and I don't

have CJD either as the growth hormone I took wasn't in the sort that

caused it.

>

> I failed 2 of the tests he did on me... he hammered away at my

knees and ankles and there were no reflex symptoms and he ran a key

up my feet to test for something or other and I failed that one too!

I think I failed the memory... ooh! hold on, there was a 3rd test

that I failed! He wanted me to stand with my feet together, arms out

in front of me and close my eyes which I couldn't do! I think I

failed the memory test too as I had to rely on Steve (the hubby) to

remember things for me!

>

> I'm not going to give up though, I'm pretty sure that I've got MS

based on what I've read online so if I have to I'll turn into a

pest! I don't want to but I'm a stubborn lil madam when I want to be

so I'm not going to give up until I've got a diagnosis!

>

> Thank you all for your support so far!

>

> Mandy

>

[Guest guest]

Nope, he just said I don't have Korsikov and he's almost certain that I don't have MS... what are the symptoms for MD?

From: bluecygnus2

Sent: Tuesday, December 02, 2008 5:11 PM

Subject: Re: *sigh*

>> Hiya everyone> > The appointment with the Neurologist went badly, as I was expecting! He's 99% certain that I don't have MS but he's referring me for a "brain scan" just to get the other 1% sure. Apparently I have "unusual neuro symptoms" according to the blood test form thing I had done and I definitely don't have Korsikov Syndrome (what I was diagnosed with when I came out of hospital 5 years ago) and I don't have CJD either as the growth hormone I took wasn't in the sort that caused it.> > I failed 2 of the tests he did on me... he hammered away at my knees and ankles and there were no reflex symptoms and he ran a key up my feet to test for something or other and I failed that one too! I think I failed the memory... ooh! hold on, there was a 3rd test that I failed! He wanted me to stand with my feet together, arms out in front of me and close my eyes which I couldn't do! I think I failed the memory test too as I had to rely on Steve (the hubby) to remember things for me!> > I'm not going to give up though, I'm pretty sure that I've got MS based on what I've read online so if I have to I'll turn into a pest! I don't want to but I'm a stubborn lil madam when I want to be so I'm not going to give up until I've got a diagnosis!> > Thank you all for your support so far!> > Mandy>Mandy did the neurologist explore the possibility of MD?

[Guest guest]

Thank you!

From: bennycat1985

Sent: Tuesday, December 02, 2008 7:28 PM

Subject: Re: *sigh*

>I hope things go better fro you in the future and you get things figured out good luck> Hiya everyone> > The appointment with the Neurologist went badly, as I was expecting! He's 99% certain that I don't have MS but he's referring me for a "brain scan" just to get the other 1% sure. Apparently I have "unusual neuro symptoms" according to the blood test form thing I had done and I definitely don't have Korsikov Syndrome (what I was diagnosed with when I came out of hospital 5 years ago) and I don't have CJD either as the growth hormone I took wasn't in the sort that caused it.> > I failed 2 of the tests he did on me... he hammered away at my knees and ankles and there were no reflex symptoms and he ran a key up my feet to test for something or other and I failed that one too! I think I failed the memory... ooh! hold on, there was a 3rd test that I failed! He wanted me to stand with my feet together, arms out in front of me and close my eyes which I couldn't do! I think I failed the memory test too as I had to rely on Steve (the hubby) to remember things for me!> > I'm not going to give up though, I'm pretty sure that I've got MS based on what I've read online so if I have to I'll turn into a pest! I don't want to but I'm a stubborn lil madam when I want to be so I'm not going to give up until I've got a diagnosis!> > Thank you all for your support so far!> > Mandy>