Guest guest Posted July 23, 2006 Report Share Posted July 23, 2006 In a message dated 7/23/2006 7:34:17 A.M. Eastern Standard Time, dpryntz@... writes: Well, I think this is long enough and hope some of you have some insight into these two concerns I have. - By the time I got to the bottom of your email, I had forgotten what your 2 concerns where! HA! Although - 2 things that did kind of stand out for me in there were these: The issue with your mother-in-law refusing to talk to you about " how she raised her son " doesn't surprise me. She is probably taking this VERY personally - as an attack on her ability as a mother - as if SHE perhaps is to blame because of something she did while he was growing up. No surprise there. First off, OCD has nothing to do with how someone is raised. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain - you are born with it, however you may not display symptoms of it until later in life. While some folks show full-blown symptoms where you obviously know something is wrong (like your son did with the hand washing, etc), sometimes it surfaces just as " tendencies " which aren't so bad that anyone suspects anything is truly wrong. Now, some of my comments above were meant so you might understand why your mother-in-law is so defensive. You may already be well aware of the fact that OCD has nothing to do with how someone is raised..... but if the request to discuss this with your M-I-L came out anything like it did in your email, I'm sure she felt " accused " of doing something that caused this.... even though that may have not been your intent. Think of another way of wording/presenting this subject to her & you might get a different reaction. Try starting out with something like, " Gee, you obviously did something right in raising your son, he's turned out to be a fine man -- how did you handle this when he was a child? I could use your advice on this.... " You might get more information out of her that way & perhaps she wouldn't feel like she's being accused of causing this. Your son is 13yr? And he avoids talking about sex (kissing, affection, whatever) with you & thinks it's gross & germy when he sees you kiss your husband and he gets blows a gasket when his older brother teases him about having a girlfriend. Your son's reactions may be intensified by the OCD & his interests (ballet) and being so comfortable around females as friends surely say he is a very sensitive child - I would think that this also would indicate he would probably react more intensely about things. But don't lose sight of the fact that this type of reaction is pretty common with boys that age anyway. The OCD may very well affect his attitude towards these things, however keep in mind that nearly any 13 year old boy would have a similar reaction to being teased about a girlfriend by a brother or witnessing his parents smack a wet one on each other. I know I caught myself many times (as a lot of the parents here probably have) over-analyzing behavior in our OCD kids... wondering about every little thing said or done, " gee, is that ANOTHER symptom? Do other kids do this? Is that 'normal'? " Sometimes I found it is related to the OCD, sometimes not & I've just read too much into something she did. Anyway, I just wanted to throw all that out to you. I hope it helps in some way. We're all in the same boat here - especially the parts about trying to just understand what the heck is going on. I would like to ask a question to you -- the CBT you say the doctor taught your son that he was able to use on his own for so long & actually helped.... can you provide some details on exactly what that doctor said to do? My dd has had no success at all with the CBT she's had. It seemed to be a complete waste of time for us. But, it also seemed (to me) to not be very " user friendly " for her situation. The relaxation " tools " were interesting - and certainly something that might help you start your day off right - however, when she's in the bathroom & can't pull away from the sink, or can't stop wiping herself (to the point of bleeding sometimes)... laying down on the floor & doing a relaxation technique just doesn't seem to be reasonable. I would very much like to hear about what your son did that helped so much. THANKS! LT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 23, 2006 Report Share Posted July 23, 2006 In a message dated 7/23/2006 7:34:17 A.M. Eastern Standard Time, dpryntz@... writes: Well, I think this is long enough and hope some of you have some insight into these two concerns I have. - By the time I got to the bottom of your email, I had forgotten what your 2 concerns where! HA! Although - 2 things that did kind of stand out for me in there were these: The issue with your mother-in-law refusing to talk to you about " how she raised her son " doesn't surprise me. She is probably taking this VERY personally - as an attack on her ability as a mother - as if SHE perhaps is to blame because of something she did while he was growing up. No surprise there. First off, OCD has nothing to do with how someone is raised. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain - you are born with it, however you may not display symptoms of it until later in life. While some folks show full-blown symptoms where you obviously know something is wrong (like your son did with the hand washing, etc), sometimes it surfaces just as " tendencies " which aren't so bad that anyone suspects anything is truly wrong. Now, some of my comments above were meant so you might understand why your mother-in-law is so defensive. You may already be well aware of the fact that OCD has nothing to do with how someone is raised..... but if the request to discuss this with your M-I-L came out anything like it did in your email, I'm sure she felt " accused " of doing something that caused this.... even though that may have not been your intent. Think of another way of wording/presenting this subject to her & you might get a different reaction. Try starting out with something like, " Gee, you obviously did something right in raising your son, he's turned out to be a fine man -- how did you handle this when he was a child? I could use your advice on this.... " You might get more information out of her that way & perhaps she wouldn't feel like she's being accused of causing this. Your son is 13yr? And he avoids talking about sex (kissing, affection, whatever) with you & thinks it's gross & germy when he sees you kiss your husband and he gets blows a gasket when his older brother teases him about having a girlfriend. Your son's reactions may be intensified by the OCD & his interests (ballet) and being so comfortable around females as friends surely say he is a very sensitive child - I would think that this also would indicate he would probably react more intensely about things. But don't lose sight of the fact that this type of reaction is pretty common with boys that age anyway. The OCD may very well affect his attitude towards these things, however keep in mind that nearly any 13 year old boy would have a similar reaction to being teased about a girlfriend by a brother or witnessing his parents smack a wet one on each other. I know I caught myself many times (as a lot of the parents here probably have) over-analyzing behavior in our OCD kids... wondering about every little thing said or done, " gee, is that ANOTHER symptom? Do other kids do this? Is that 'normal'? " Sometimes I found it is related to the OCD, sometimes not & I've just read too much into something she did. Anyway, I just wanted to throw all that out to you. I hope it helps in some way. We're all in the same boat here - especially the parts about trying to just understand what the heck is going on. I would like to ask a question to you -- the CBT you say the doctor taught your son that he was able to use on his own for so long & actually helped.... can you provide some details on exactly what that doctor said to do? My dd has had no success at all with the CBT she's had. It seemed to be a complete waste of time for us. But, it also seemed (to me) to not be very " user friendly " for her situation. The relaxation " tools " were interesting - and certainly something that might help you start your day off right - however, when she's in the bathroom & can't pull away from the sink, or can't stop wiping herself (to the point of bleeding sometimes)... laying down on the floor & doing a relaxation technique just doesn't seem to be reasonable. I would very much like to hear about what your son did that helped so much. THANKS! LT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 23, 2006 Report Share Posted July 23, 2006 Hi . I have to ask, do you think he could be gay? Not just because of the ballett, lots of boys dance, but that the thought of kissing a GIRL is what is actually disgusting him? Sorry if this offends you, but it was the first thing that popped into my mind. I have read a lot of people having big issues with siblings, their OCDer being so mean and violent. My dd is only 5, seems to be a typical sibling, at this point. She is very kind hearted and loving. I worry that she may turn mean and violent. At what age did those with kids like this notice them being this way? Were they always mean to their sibs? Sharon introduction - long I have been half lurking for a short bit before introducing our situation. I was on this list a few years ago but the number of emails that are produced here were overwhelming so I stopped for a while. This a very supportive list and I am glad it is here! I am trying to figure out where to begin! I have four sons and their ages range from 10 to 18. My 13 year old, K, is the one with a mild case of OCD. I am also married to an OCDer. My husband, B, and I had no clue that he had OCD until we learned about OCD with regards to K. We first realized something was amiss when our now 13 year old was around 10 years old. He exhibited some " strange " behaviors when he was younger but I did not make the connection until he was around 10 due to his excessive hand washing to the point of his skin bleeding. I recall thinking at first that all he needed was to be taught how to wash and rinse the soap off properly. His brothers were more aware than I of the frequency of this behavior. When his hands were bleeding and his brothers told me of the frequency, B and I thought that was bizarre and tried to stop him one day from an unnecessary washing before departing to go out on an outing. He cried so hard when we prevented him. He was so miserable on the outing and we were shocked. Since when do 10 year old boys want to be " clean " ? Anyway, that was the turning point for us and we learned it was OCD. My husband, B, then admitted that he had bad thoughts and assumed everyone did. We went to a very nice cognitive behavioral therapist based on the recommendations of this group three years ago. Thank you everyone for helping us back then. Unfortunately, K, refused to talk with the therapist. We only had two sessions because of this. The therapist decided that based on our description of K that he was probably a mild OCDer but could not say for certainty without K's cooperation. Thus she shared a cognitive program to use with K. This program has helped us over the years. Now when K exhibits a behavior that is unhealthy for him or others around him, all I usually need to do is mention that I think it is an OCD thing and he usually works on it in private (after denying it is OCD, of course ). Now that he is 13, I have concerns mainly in two areas. The first is his behavior toward his brothers. It was been a couple of years now and I was hoping it was due to sibling rivalry but now I am not sure. My non-OCD boys (the other three) have squabbled when they were younger and this gradually lessened over the years - this is especially true for my 18 and 16 year olds. Those two argued when they were little but that stopped for the most part when my oldest turned into a teenager. Their bickering was rarely prolonged and mild. K's style is very mean and harsh and he uses lots of swearing. The other three complain about how mean he can be without provocation. Usually this happens out of my eye sight (I am deaf so they take advantage of this so I never overhear how it actually all starts). I am inclined to believe my older two's interpretation as opposed to my non-OCD 10 year old and my OCD 13 year old. My 10 year old can be an instigator. He is a sweet boy but an imp and loves to joke around. This is hard on my OCDer. However that is not the whole story because K is mean to the older two too. Those two rarely instigate anything. They just do their thing and find K bothering them and when they ask him to leave them alone he sometimes goes on a mean streak. I have talked with K about this and usually he tries hard to make up for what he has said by doing their chores or buying them a gift. I know he is trying but I don't know how to help him. The second concern I have is his contamination concerns now that he is a teen. He thinks kissing and showing affection is " sick " . I am not talking about " R " rated stuff but more of the " G " kind. He makes negative comments whenever he sees my husband and I express affection with a light kiss or hug. He talks negatively if one of his brothers brings up the topic. Or if I talk about sex in terms of education (birds and bees stuff), he covers his ears and can't handle it. The irony is that he has all female friends mostly due to his interests. K is a serious ballet dancer and is surrounded by females. His two closest friends are females. He has no male friends outside of his brothers. His younger brother made the mistake of lightly teasing K about having a girlfriend. K went berserk and was very upset at the allegation. His older brothers, when subjected to the same teasing at that age, were also not thrilled but did not react as strongly as K has. I am concerned about how to help him have a healthy attitude about his body and relationships of that kind. I told him that while he may feel this way today, and that it was normal not to understand the attraction but that his body was changing and that in a couple of years he will feel differently. I am wondering how OCDers handle the teen years if they have contamination issues, etc? I can't talk with my husband's mother about how she raised him and if he followed the same path my son is following. She is so defensive and in denial that this is a genetic condition. My husband thinks that his mother is probably an OCDer too now that we know more about OCD so that may be why she is so defensive when I try to talk about this with her to get insight as a parent. K is also still opposed to talking with a therapist. When he was on a particularly mean streak, I threatened to take him in for counseling. I stressed that relationships with family members are important and the therapist could help all parties and that no one was at fault. I also explained that the therapist would not be taking sides but helping all parties with effective communication. The threat worked in the sense that he stopped being so mean for now but I would rather gain an understanding of the underlying problem. Well, I think this is long enough and hope some of you have some insight into these two concerns I have. Thanks in advance. - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 23, 2006 Report Share Posted July 23, 2006 Hi . I have to ask, do you think he could be gay? Not just because of the ballett, lots of boys dance, but that the thought of kissing a GIRL is what is actually disgusting him? Sorry if this offends you, but it was the first thing that popped into my mind. I have read a lot of people having big issues with siblings, their OCDer being so mean and violent. My dd is only 5, seems to be a typical sibling, at this point. She is very kind hearted and loving. I worry that she may turn mean and violent. At what age did those with kids like this notice them being this way? Were they always mean to their sibs? Sharon introduction - long I have been half lurking for a short bit before introducing our situation. I was on this list a few years ago but the number of emails that are produced here were overwhelming so I stopped for a while. This a very supportive list and I am glad it is here! I am trying to figure out where to begin! I have four sons and their ages range from 10 to 18. My 13 year old, K, is the one with a mild case of OCD. I am also married to an OCDer. My husband, B, and I had no clue that he had OCD until we learned about OCD with regards to K. We first realized something was amiss when our now 13 year old was around 10 years old. He exhibited some " strange " behaviors when he was younger but I did not make the connection until he was around 10 due to his excessive hand washing to the point of his skin bleeding. I recall thinking at first that all he needed was to be taught how to wash and rinse the soap off properly. His brothers were more aware than I of the frequency of this behavior. When his hands were bleeding and his brothers told me of the frequency, B and I thought that was bizarre and tried to stop him one day from an unnecessary washing before departing to go out on an outing. He cried so hard when we prevented him. He was so miserable on the outing and we were shocked. Since when do 10 year old boys want to be " clean " ? Anyway, that was the turning point for us and we learned it was OCD. My husband, B, then admitted that he had bad thoughts and assumed everyone did. We went to a very nice cognitive behavioral therapist based on the recommendations of this group three years ago. Thank you everyone for helping us back then. Unfortunately, K, refused to talk with the therapist. We only had two sessions because of this. The therapist decided that based on our description of K that he was probably a mild OCDer but could not say for certainty without K's cooperation. Thus she shared a cognitive program to use with K. This program has helped us over the years. Now when K exhibits a behavior that is unhealthy for him or others around him, all I usually need to do is mention that I think it is an OCD thing and he usually works on it in private (after denying it is OCD, of course ). Now that he is 13, I have concerns mainly in two areas. The first is his behavior toward his brothers. It was been a couple of years now and I was hoping it was due to sibling rivalry but now I am not sure. My non-OCD boys (the other three) have squabbled when they were younger and this gradually lessened over the years - this is especially true for my 18 and 16 year olds. Those two argued when they were little but that stopped for the most part when my oldest turned into a teenager. Their bickering was rarely prolonged and mild. K's style is very mean and harsh and he uses lots of swearing. The other three complain about how mean he can be without provocation. Usually this happens out of my eye sight (I am deaf so they take advantage of this so I never overhear how it actually all starts). I am inclined to believe my older two's interpretation as opposed to my non-OCD 10 year old and my OCD 13 year old. My 10 year old can be an instigator. He is a sweet boy but an imp and loves to joke around. This is hard on my OCDer. However that is not the whole story because K is mean to the older two too. Those two rarely instigate anything. They just do their thing and find K bothering them and when they ask him to leave them alone he sometimes goes on a mean streak. I have talked with K about this and usually he tries hard to make up for what he has said by doing their chores or buying them a gift. I know he is trying but I don't know how to help him. The second concern I have is his contamination concerns now that he is a teen. He thinks kissing and showing affection is " sick " . I am not talking about " R " rated stuff but more of the " G " kind. He makes negative comments whenever he sees my husband and I express affection with a light kiss or hug. He talks negatively if one of his brothers brings up the topic. Or if I talk about sex in terms of education (birds and bees stuff), he covers his ears and can't handle it. The irony is that he has all female friends mostly due to his interests. K is a serious ballet dancer and is surrounded by females. His two closest friends are females. He has no male friends outside of his brothers. His younger brother made the mistake of lightly teasing K about having a girlfriend. K went berserk and was very upset at the allegation. His older brothers, when subjected to the same teasing at that age, were also not thrilled but did not react as strongly as K has. I am concerned about how to help him have a healthy attitude about his body and relationships of that kind. I told him that while he may feel this way today, and that it was normal not to understand the attraction but that his body was changing and that in a couple of years he will feel differently. I am wondering how OCDers handle the teen years if they have contamination issues, etc? I can't talk with my husband's mother about how she raised him and if he followed the same path my son is following. She is so defensive and in denial that this is a genetic condition. My husband thinks that his mother is probably an OCDer too now that we know more about OCD so that may be why she is so defensive when I try to talk about this with her to get insight as a parent. K is also still opposed to talking with a therapist. When he was on a particularly mean streak, I threatened to take him in for counseling. I stressed that relationships with family members are important and the therapist could help all parties and that no one was at fault. I also explained that the therapist would not be taking sides but helping all parties with effective communication. The threat worked in the sense that he stopped being so mean for now but I would rather gain an understanding of the underlying problem. Well, I think this is long enough and hope some of you have some insight into these two concerns I have. Thanks in advance. - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 23, 2006 Report Share Posted July 23, 2006 Hi , I have a few thoughts but probably nothing that you haven't thought of yourself. But at least you'll know other moms would have the same ones! First the sibling stuff - well he is 13. His style with siblings might be a bit more mean but he is still at that " age. " And so much could be involved in his behavior/reactions. Partly personality; partly that his *is* different, he is coping or feeling " OCD probably constantly; he may feel left out or that his brothers don't particularly like him and know they feel he's odd or mean or something (I think all kids would like the support of family or to feel that family likes/accepts them, that closeness, etc., etc.) even if they say they don't care, etc.). Anyway, no answers but there's probably no *one* thing involved. I think, as you are already doing, just setting limits and rules on behavior and what is/isn't allowed is all you can keep doing. And perhaps there may yet come a time when he " breaks " a little and lets something slip as to how he's feeling inside that might make him react so meanly. I was quite emotional during those teen years myself and can recall over-reacting many times. I know that my oldest (21) also was very emotional during the teen years, I wondered about bipolar sometimes. Around...age 18 or so things calmed down. And 's twin, , was always more physical with , since toddlerhood! I never could break him of that, but that has eased up these past years, actually no problem in that area at all anymore re physical (hitting, etc.) problems between them; guess finally aged past that! As to relationships/girls/kissing/germs... - Well, we all mature at different rates/ages. I was 13 when I went " boy crazy. " I may have liked some boys before that but I vehemently denied I did! Your's may still be at that stage right now. Although others kissing/affection never bothered me at all, but I wasn't dealing with germs/contamination issues either. That could have made it turn my stomach, who knows? Oh, LOL, and I recall in elementary school when I learned - from a friend - about sex and how babies are made; well, that threw out any plans *I* ever had to have kids, LOL, I wasn't about to do THAT, yuck! Maybe your son is still " there " mentally a bit too. Plus his friends are girls. Well, he may not have met the *one* who has him thinking/feeling *that* way yet, and the thought of anything more than friendship might seem yucky to him? OR - he HAS felt that way but is still in the denying stage and overreacts. OR - the germ issue really is bad and perhaps other OCD thoughts too, and it really does revolt him. But that's OCD! -- OR he might be wondering about his sexuality a bit, what if he isn't attracted to girls but other boys? However, I think that at this age if that were true, he would want to HIDE that fact and wouldn't display such repugnance about mom/dad, boys/girls kissing, etc. So I tend to think it's OCD/anxiety and a bit of where he's at with maturity/puberty maybe. As to talking about sex - well, my oldest actually covered his ears on certain topics I tried to bring up concerning sex/body, etc. He just didn't want to hear ANY of that from ME (mom) but at certain words actually covered his ears and more or less told me to stop! At 21 I don't think he'd do that NOW, but he did as a teen. He's had his girlfriend for about 4 years now, but before *her* I never knew he even dated, just that he went out with friends; didn't bother sharing the details (girls) with me. I recall wondering when he might ever date(!) and wondered if his having grown up in the younger years with girls as his playmates - all my friends had girls - might have made him see girls in some different " light " than as girlfriends, but apparently I had nothing to worry about, though I did worry, LOL! I had to find out thru hearsay/friends that he was actually dating! SIGH! I think all you can do is keep handling it as you are and perhaps not comment on the subject or tease (brothers teasing, etc.) as a year or two from now things may be totally different as he matures/goes thru puberty. BUT at the same time he needs to work on his contamination/germ fears -- forgot is he on medication? - as this of course might play a huge part in his feelings towards relationships too. I did find this line in a list of OCD problems: Sexual issues – unwanted sexual thoughts, disgust for kissing or hugging for fear of contamination, compulsive masturbation And as a " just in case " and it's interesting article for your info, he may be having bad thoughts he's not admitting to: http://www.homestead.com/westsuffolkpsych/TeenThoughts.html I can certainly empathize but wish I had a solution for you! > > I have been half lurking for a short bit before introducing our situation. I > was on this list a few years ago but the number of emails that are produced > here were overwhelming so I stopped for a while. This a very supportive list > and I am glad it is here! > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2007 Report Share Posted July 19, 2007 hi i am shell mum of six one with severe autism one with aspergers one with traits of autism and one with lbd if i can help in any way please ask love shell kind regards shell http://groups.msn.com/autismaspergersinthefamily ___________________________________________________________ is the world's favourite email. Don't settle for less, sign up for your free account today http://uk.rd./evt=44106/*http://uk.docs./mail/winter07.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 24, 2007 Report Share Posted July 24, 2007 Shell- My daughter was just, today formally diagnosed with Aspergers. I was feeling accepting of it until they asked me if, after reading about the symptoms, I felt she fit the description. Now the doubt has come back to me again because I am not an expert and am so afraid of labeling her wrong. I am so afraid of making the wrong decisions and having it effect her more than the issues she already has. Before I left the " expert " told me that a psychologist may label her with a learning disability and they that over laps with autism. I don't know. I feel like I am all alone in this and not sure what to do next. And I am not one to feel fond of not knowing what to do. Next month I have a meeting set up with this same person to do planning on how to help . I guess in the mean time I will continue reading as much as I can find time to read. Thanks for letting me talk! Kirsten Re: ( ) Introduction - LONG hi i am shell mum of six one with severe autism one with aspergers one with traits of autism and one with lbd if i can help in any way please ask love shell kind regards shell http://groups.msn.com/autismaspergersinthefamily <http://groups.msn.com/autismaspergersinthefamily> __________________________________________________________ is the world's favourite email. Don't settle for less, sign up for your free account today http://uk.rd./evt=44106/*http://uk.docs./mail/winter07.html <http://uk.rd./evt=44106/*http://uk.docs./mail/winter07.html> ********************Confidentiality Notice******************** This message is intended for the sole use of the individual and entity to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is privileged, confidential and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. Any unauthorized review, use, disclosure or distribution of this email message, including any attachment, is prohibited. If you are not the intended recipient, please advise the sender by reply email and destroy all copies of the original message. Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 24, 2007 Report Share Posted July 24, 2007 Hi Annie, The school is in the wrong and all you need to do (as if it's all that simple, lol) is learn your and Devin's rights under the IDEA. You don't have to wait to get a dx to get him services either, if that has been told to you. Does he have an IEP yet? That would be step one. Let me know if he does or not and then we can work on some ideas for where to go next. RoxannaAutism Happens ( ) Introduction - LONG Hi -My name is Annie and I am new to this group. I am married with 2 kiddos. My son is 6 years old and we feel he has AS but it hasn't been dx yet. We are waiting paiently to get into a clinic or specialist for the dx but the waiting lists are 6-9 months long.He has a huge medical background. Lack of oxygen at birth, teratoma on next that obstructed airway at birth, craniosynostosis that was corrected at 11 months old, 2 sets of tubes in his ears and he's hearing impaired. So it's just been one thing after another.Last school year was the year from you know what. So many problems that I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown because I just didn't know what to do. The school calling me because he is in a rage and throwing books, crayons, shoes or whatever accross the room for no apparant reason. So with his huge medical background we took him to a doc that specializes in AD/HD to see if that was it. He did some bloodwork and I filled out all the info about his behavior issues and stuff and the doc dx him with ADD and put him on Adderall. Things appeared to be better. He could stay more focused on stuff for about 2 weeks then the crap really hit the fan. Major rages where they were having to restrain him. So I took him back and the doc added Buspar to his meds and this has helped tremendesly. Oh, it's like a night and day difference now that it has gotten into his system. The school feels he is just a behavior problem child and thinks he knows exactly what he is doing and can stop and thinks its a power stuggle. When I would do to the school he would turn away from me and not look at me. I would help assist in calming him down then go back to work.Well at the same time I had put my name on a waiting list to get him in to see someone in mental health. Well finally this summer we were able to do this and by the 2nd visit she said she was refering us on for testing but was going to treat him with therapy and work on coping skills. She feels he has AS. So after finding that out I have been doing a ton of research and he does have alot of the symptoms of AS. He hardly ever smiles and when he does its fake esp for pictures. He has this same look on his face all the time. He rarely will look at you in the eyes. I often make him so I know he is listening to me since he is hearing impaired. And that takes all he has to look at me while I talk to him. He has no compassion. He one day at school flipped over on the playground and accidently hit a boy and the principal tried to make him say he was sorry. He kept saying it was an accident but couldn't and wouldn't say he was sorry even though he hurt the child. Then when they try to remove him from a situation at school it sends him over the edge even worse. At the age of 6 he is just now starting to show other emotions besides anger but not very often. When he is in a rage it's like he is in a completely different world and takes time to reel him back into ours.Ok, so I think this is long enough. I just wanted to intoduce myself and see if I can connect with others. I am so lost and being bounced around by everyone trying to get him in to see someone and nothing seems to be working except waiting it out on a list. The principal at his school is a piece of work. I know she has it out for Devin and she is always telling me they can't handle him and what an inconvenience it is when he gets like that. My goal since March was to figure out 100% what was going on and get a dx but that is not going to happen like I wanted. I know it's going to be awful for him when he goes back to school. He tries so hard but then something will set him off and there is no pinpointing it. I just know that until we get a 100% dx that the school is going to be evil and still think it's all his fault, hold him accountable for his actions and think he is just a child who doesn't know how to behave.Thanks for listening.Annie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 24, 2007 Report Share Posted July 24, 2007 Hi Kirsten, Getting a label shouldn't ruin her life. It's more of a "map" to let people know the specific problems a person has. Feel free to join in the conversation here, ask any questions you like. And hang in there! RoxannaAutism Happens RE: ( ) Introduction - LONG Shell-My daughter was just, today formally diagnosed with Aspergers. I was feeling accepting of it until they asked me if, after reading about the symptoms, I felt she fit the description. Now the doubt has come back to me again because I am not an expert and am so afraid of labeling her wrong. I am so afraid of making the wrong decisions and having it effect her more than the issues she already has. Before I left the "expert" told me that a psychologist may label her with a learning disability and they that over laps with autism. I don't know. I feel like I am all alone in this and not sure what to do next. And I am not one to feel fond of not knowing what to do. Next month I have a meeting set up with this same person to do planning on how to help . I guess in the mean time I will continue reading as much as I can find time to read. Thanks for letting me talk! Kirsten -----Original Message-----From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of michelle billingtonSent: Thursday, July 19, 2007 3:17 PM Subject: Re: ( ) Introduction - LONGhii am shell mum of sixone with severe autism one with aspergers one with traits of autismand one with lbdif i can help in any way please asklove shellkind regards shellhttp://groups.msn.com/autismaspergersinthefamily <http://groups.msn.com/autismaspergersinthefamily> __________________________________________________________ is the world's favourite email. Don't settle for less, sign up foryour free account today http://uk.rd./evt=44106/*http://uk.docs./mail/winter07.html <http://uk.rd./evt=44106/*http://uk.docs./mail/winter07.html> ********************Confidentiality Notice********************This message is intended for the sole use of the individual and entity to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is privileged, confidential and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. Any unauthorized review, use, disclosure or distribution of this email message, including any attachment, is prohibited. If you are not the intended recipient, please advise the sender by reply email and destroy all copies of the original message. Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 25, 2007 Report Share Posted July 25, 2007 Roxanna,Your font comes through pretty small on my computer, and I read it "You don't have to wait to get an AX to get him services either..." LOL I went through some periods where I thought that that was the one thing that might just get me through. No, seriously, we never resorted to that. All our IEPs were mostly friendly, after the first two, which involved lawyers.LizOn Jul 24, 2007, at 6:34 PM, Roxanna wrote:Hi Annie, The school is in the wrong and all you need to do (as if it's all that simple, lol) is learn your and Devin's rights under the IDEA. You don't have to wait to get a dx to get him services either, if that has been told to you. Does he have an IEP yet? That would be step one. Let me know if he does or not and then we can work on some ideas for where to go next. RoxannaAutism Happens ( ) Introduction - LONGHi -My name is Annie and I am new to this group. I am married with 2 kiddos. My son is 6 years old and we feel he has AS but it hasn't been dx yet. We are waiting paiently to get into a clinic or specialist for the dx but the waiting lists are 6-9 months long.He has a huge medical background. Lack of oxygen at birth, teratoma on next that obstructed airway at birth, craniosynostosis that was corrected at 11 months old, 2 sets of tubes in his ears and he's hearing impaired. So it's just been one thing after another.Last school year was the year from you know what. So many problems that I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown because I just didn't know what to do. The school calling me because he is in a rage and throwing books, crayons, shoes or whatever accross the room for no apparant reason. So with his huge medical background we took him to a doc that specializes in AD/HD to see if that was it. He did some bloodwork and I filled out all the info about his behavior issues and stuff and the doc dx him with ADD and put him on Adderall. Things appeared to be better. He could stay more focused on stuff for about 2 weeks then the crap really hit the fan. Major rages where they were having to restrain him. So I took him back and the doc added Buspar to his meds and this has helped tremendesly. Oh, it's like a night and day difference now that it has gotten into his system. The school feels he is just a behavior problem child and thinks he knows exactly what he is doing and can stop and thinks its a power stuggle. When I would do to the school he would turn away from me and not look at me. I would help assist in calming him down then go back to work.Well at the same time I had put my name on a waiting list to get him in to see someone in mental health. Well finally this summer we were able to do this and by the 2nd visit she said she was refering us on for testing but was going to treat him with therapy and work on coping skills. She feels he has AS. So after finding that out I have been doing a ton of research and he does have alot of the symptoms of AS. He hardly ever smiles and when he does its fake esp for pictures. He has this same look on his face all the time. He rarely will look at you in the eyes. I often make him so I know he is listening to me since he is hearing impaired. And that takes all he has to look at me while I talk to him. He has no compassion. He one day at school flipped over on the playground and accidently hit a boy and the principal tried to make him say he was sorry. He kept saying it was an accident but couldn't and wouldn't say he was sorry even though he hurt the child. Then when they try to remove him from a situation at school it sends him over the edge even worse. At the age of 6 he is just now starting to show other emotions besides anger but not very often. When he is in a rage it's like he is in a completely different world and takes time to reel him back into ours.Ok, so I think this is long enough. I just wanted to intoduce myself and see if I can connect with others. I am so lost and being bounced around by everyone trying to get him in to see someone and nothing seems to be working except waiting it out on a list. The principal at his school is a piece of work. I know she has it out for Devin and she is always telling me they can't handle him and what an inconvenience it is when he gets like that. My goal since March was to figure out 100% what was going on and get a dx but that is not going to happen like I wanted. I know it's going to be awful for him when he goes back to school. He tries so hard but then something will set him off and there is no pinpointing it. I just know that until we get a 100% dx that the school is going to be evil and still think it's all his fault, hold him accountable for his actions and think he is just a child who doesn't know how to behave.Thanks for listening.Annie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 25, 2007 Report Share Posted July 25, 2007 ROFL. An axe might get you some services without an argument? LOL RoxannaAutism Happens ( ) Introduction - LONG Hi -My name is Annie and I am new to this group. I am married with 2 kiddos. My son is 6 years old and we feel he has AS but it hasn't been dx yet. We are waiting paiently to get into a clinic or specialist for the dx but the waiting lists are 6-9 months long.He has a huge medical background. Lack of oxygen at birth, teratoma on next that obstructed airway at birth, craniosynostosis that was corrected at 11 months old, 2 sets of tubes in his ears and he's hearing impaired. So it's just been one thing after another.Last school year was the year from you know what. So many problems that I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown because I just didn't know what to do. The school calling me because he is in a rage and throwing books, crayons, shoes or whatever accross the room for no apparant reason. So with his huge medical background we took him to a doc that specializes in AD/HD to see if that was it. He did some bloodwork and I filled out all the info about his behavior issues and stuff and the doc dx him with ADD and put him on Adderall. Things appeared to be better. He could stay more focused on stuff for about 2 weeks then the crap really hit the fan. Major rages where they were having to restrain him. So I took him back and the doc added Buspar to his meds and this has helped tremendesly. Oh, it's like a night and day difference now that it has gotten into his system. The school feels he is just a behavior problem child and thinks he knows exactly what he is doing and can stop and thinks its a power stuggle. When I would do to the school he would turn away from me and not look at me. I would help assist in calming him down then go back to work.Well at the same time I had put my name on a waiting list to get him in to see someone in mental health. Well finally this summer we were able to do this and by the 2nd visit she said she was refering us on for testing but was going to treat him with therapy and work on coping skills. She feels he has AS. So after finding that out I have been doing a ton of research and he does have alot of the symptoms of AS. He hardly ever smiles and when he does its fake esp for pictures. He has this same look on his face all the time. He rarely will look at you in the eyes. I often make him so I know he is listening to me since he is hearing impaired. And that takes all he has to look at me while I talk to him. He has no compassion. He one day at school flipped over on the playground and accidently hit a boy and the principal tried to make him say he was sorry. He kept saying it was an accident but couldn't and wouldn't say he was sorry even though he hurt the child. Then when they try to remove him from a situation at school it sends him over the edge even worse. At the age of 6 he is just now starting to show other emotions besides anger but not very often. When he is in a rage it's like he is in a completely different world and takes time to reel him back into ours.Ok, so I think this is long enough. I just wanted to intoduce myself and see if I can connect with others. I am so lost and being bounced around by everyone trying to get him in to see someone and nothing seems to be working except waiting it out on a list. The principal at his school is a piece of work. I know she has it out for Devin and she is always telling me they can't handle him and what an inconvenience it is when he gets like that. My goal since March was to figure out 100% what was going on and get a dx but that is not going to happen like I wanted. I know it's going to be awful for him when he goes back to school. He tries so hard but then something will set him off and there is no pinpointing it. I just know that until we get a 100% dx that the school is going to be evil and still think it's all his fault, hold him accountable for his actions and think he is just a child who doesn't know how to behave.Thanks for listening.Annie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 12, 2008 Report Share Posted June 12, 2008 Hello, I just joined this group, found it through the Cherab website which I found through the A4everFamily.org website. I was researching speech delay in children and here I am. My daughter is 31 months (2.5 yrs) and was adopted from China at 14 months. She spent her first 14 months in an orphanage. She was very healthy when I adopted her and had one word - Mama. I do not think my daughter has Apraxia, but perhaps falls in the " Oral Motor " problems as she does overstuff her mouth when eating, doesn't so much now, but did drool a lot when not teething, she does bite straws when drinking (I thought all kids did that!), she can't blow bubbles and she is a mouth breather (keeps mouth open and breaths through her mouth.) She knows all her alphabet and will say the letters but does not always pronounce them correctly. She knows her animals and can tell me what sound each animal makes, but when I ask her " Who says Mooo Mooo? " she will not answer - it appears that she cannot answer. She babbles a lot - when she plays with her dolls and animals, she talks a lot but I can't understand a lot of what she says. She has lots of words and will say sentences that I've taught her e.g. " I want... " but will not answer questions such as " What did you have for lunch today? " " Did you have lunch today? " To me, she doesn't have a lot of spontaneous speech. She doesn't ask me questions - only " Ma help " if she needs help, but no " Why did the dog do this? " " Do I have to go to bed? " such things. I've been trying to get her to say hello when we enter her room at daycare but she won't try. When people ask her her name, she'll spell it and then tell them but speaks so softly that people can't hear her. (She can read and spell her name, but can't spell/read any other words, I was amazed she can do her name at her age!) I had her evaluated by Early Intervention at 21 months and they said that she was cognitively age appropriate but expressively was 3- 6 months behind. They did not qualify her for services. I had them re-evaluate her in April and the evaluator stretched it as far as she could and got her to qualify so she now has speech therapy 2x/week that just started a couple weeks ago. The speech evaluator said that she really needs help on the clarity of her words. I can understand a lot of what she says, but no one else seems to be able to. My daughter has no eating, sleeping or behavior issues. I'm not sure what I'm dealing with here. My pediatrician is a developmental pediatrician but we rarely see him. We had a 2 1/2 yr appointment since she was adopted and they don't have that much history on her - I answered one question incorrectly (later realized I had misinterpreted what he asked - he thought my daughter only talks when mimicing back what I say) and he went on and on how she might be autistic. But then gave a list of indications that she's not autistic e.g. good eye contact, shared her toy with him, etc. I have a friend who's a speech therapy practitioner and teacher and I'm going to ask her about apraxia and oral motor problems. She said that there is no way that my daughter is autistic (having seen my daughter every week at dance class and then at play dates as well). So I'm not sure what to think. Mothers tell me that their kids talk about my daughter for days after seeing her, but my daughter never talks about her friends - I don't know if that's a social issue or because she's not talking, but that's the kind of spontaneous talk I would expect from a 2.5 yr old - about her friends, what are they doing, when will we see them, etc. I did stop at the health food store last night and ick up the Nordic Naturals DHA for children and started giving her that last night. I figure it may help with her speech and it may not, but it's good for her health even if it doesn't change her speech. Any advice? Anywhere to point me? Anyone else have similar issues/concerns? Thanks!!!! Helen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 13, 2008 Report Share Posted June 13, 2008 Hi Helen, I think that she needs to get a comprehensive evaluation by speech pathologist, special ed person and most importantly a psychologist. What worries me from your post is the lack of spontaneous speech, the lack of requesting for help, and lack of social skills it seem. It is always good to get a comprehensive evaluation done to really understand what is going on. I would also take her to a developmental pediatrician or neurologist as well. This is only my opinion and my recommendation: Call EI and request a comprehensive evaluation and at the same time make an appointment with a dev. pediatrician or neurologist. There is often a long waiting list, ask them to call you if they have cancellations. GL, Nati > > Hello, > > I just joined this group, found it through the Cherab website > which I found through the A4everFamily.org website. I was researching > speech delay in children and here I am. > > My daughter is 31 months (2.5 yrs) and was adopted from China at > 14 months. She spent her first 14 months in an orphanage. She was > very healthy when I adopted her and had one word - Mama. > > I do not think my daughter has Apraxia, but perhaps falls in > the " Oral Motor " problems as she does overstuff her mouth when > eating, doesn't so much now, but did drool a lot when not teething, > she does bite straws when drinking (I thought all kids did that!), > she can't blow bubbles and she is a mouth breather (keeps mouth open > and breaths through her mouth.) > > She knows all her alphabet and will say the letters but does not > always pronounce them correctly. She knows her animals and can tell > me what sound each animal makes, but when I ask her " Who says Mooo > Mooo? " she will not answer - it appears that she cannot answer. > > She babbles a lot - when she plays with her dolls and animals, she > talks a lot but I can't understand a lot of what she says. She has > lots of words and will say sentences that I've taught her e.g. " I > want... " but will not answer questions such as " What did you have > for lunch today? " " Did you have lunch today? " > > To me, she doesn't have a lot of spontaneous speech. She doesn't > ask me questions - only " Ma help " if she needs help, but no " Why did > the dog do this? " " Do I have to go to bed? " such things. > > I've been trying to get her to say hello when we enter her room at > daycare but she won't try. When people ask her her name, she'll > spell it and then tell them but speaks so softly that people can't > hear her. (She can read and spell her name, but can't spell/read any > other words, I was amazed she can do her name at her age!) > > I had her evaluated by Early Intervention at 21 months and they > said that she was cognitively age appropriate but expressively was 3- > 6 months behind. They did not qualify her for services. I had them > re-evaluate her in April and the evaluator stretched it as far as > she could and got her to qualify so she now has speech therapy > 2x/week that just started a couple weeks ago. The speech evaluator > said that she really needs help on the clarity of her words. I can > understand a lot of what she says, but no one else seems to be able > to. > > My daughter has no eating, sleeping or behavior issues. > > I'm not sure what I'm dealing with here. My pediatrician is a > developmental pediatrician but we rarely see him. We had a 2 1/2 yr > appointment since she was adopted and they don't have that much > history on her - I answered one question incorrectly (later realized > I had misinterpreted what he asked - he thought my daughter only > talks when mimicing back what I say) and he went on and on how she > might be autistic. But then gave a list of indications that she's > not autistic e.g. good eye contact, shared her toy with him, etc. I > have a friend who's a speech therapy practitioner and teacher and > I'm going to ask her about apraxia and oral motor problems. She said > that there is no way that my daughter is autistic (having seen my > daughter every week at dance class and then at play dates as well). > > So I'm not sure what to think. Mothers tell me that their kids talk > about my daughter for days after seeing her, but my daughter never > talks about her friends - I don't know if that's a social issue or > because she's not talking, but that's the kind of spontaneous talk I > would expect from a 2.5 yr old - about her friends, what are they > doing, when will we see them, etc. > > I did stop at the health food store last night and ick up the Nordic > Naturals DHA for children and started giving her that last night. I > figure it may help with her speech and it may not, but it's good for > her health even if it doesn't change her speech. > > Any advice? Anywhere to point me? Anyone else have similar > issues/concerns? > > Thanks!!!! > > Helen > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 13, 2008 Report Share Posted June 13, 2008 Thanks for the feedback. I may not have been clear - my daughter asks for help regularly from me - I taught her to say " Mom please help " which became " Ma help " which she basically has shortened to one quick word " MaHel " . It seems that she speaks with one word when she can. So she will speak to me, but not ask questions. Most of her speech is to point something out " Dog " " car " whatever she wants to point out to me, but it's usually one word. She does have some sentences " Come on, Mom " " I want... " " Mom sit " but mostly uses one word. There's not conversation. She will mimic back stuff I say - for instance, if she says " dog " I'll say " Oh I see the dog. The dog is running. " She will say " dog running " . But has yet to say something like - Ma, dog running without my saying something. In fact, I hear " MaHel " and " I want... " a lot. Now that I think about it, she often says " I want " then hesitates, sometimes stumbles and then says " I want doggy " or whatever it she wants. As for her social skills - I don't know - is it normal that she doesn't talk about her friends? She will happily play with kids. She's in daycare 3 days/week and I've asked them - she plays well with the other kids and they have not noticed anything socially that's out of place.... The other kids seem to like her a lot - I'm basing that on their reaction to her, but she doesn't seem to react to them in the same way, so maybe there is something socially off. Or maybe it's part of the speech problem? While she won't say good morning in the morning and acts shy, she will happily belt out good bye in the afternoon to everyone. It's hard to tell if there's a social problem, or is she being shy because of the speech problem? I really don't know.She interacts well with me, with my parents, with friends and their kids, but it's a tough age to judge since the kids are still at the stage where they play side by side. She will interact and play with me for long amounts of time say 30-45 minutes where I'll be one animal, she's the other, we're going in and out of the barn, etc. When I first had her evaluated by EI, they did a full evaluation and found her to be behind only in her expressive speech. They thought all her other skills were age appropriate including her cognitive speech. My pediatrician is a developmental pediatrician and we saw him in May for a 2 1/2 year old check in. He's going to see her in 3 months, after she's had some time with the speech therapist. We have an appointment with him at the end of August. I may just ask for him to do a full evaluation of her then if her speech hasn't improved with the speech therapy she just started. There's also the tricky part that she's adopted. Some research I've read says that children adopted at her age (14 months) take until 37-40 months to catch up. So according to that research, she still needs another 6-9 months to fully catch up to a child reared in her birth home. I've requested the book " The Late Talker " from the library so I'm hoping that that may help me figure some stuff out. I will continue to talk to her as much as possible and find other ways to help. I started her on the Nordic Naturals DHA, she's just started speech therapy & we have our appt in August with the development pediatrician, but I'm a little leery of him. Based on her speech delay and the way I answered one question, he jumped to autism - without an evaluation and based mostly on the one question I had misunderstood. To me, that seemed like he jumped a little too quickly to a diganosis -even too quick to tell me that might be the diagnosis without evaluting her! So my trust in him is just so so. That's why I'm wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences. Thanks! Helen > > Hi Helen, > > I think that she needs to get a comprehensive evaluation by speech > pathologist, special ed person and most importantly a psychologist. > > What worries me from your post is the lack of spontaneous speech, > the lack of requesting for help, and lack of social skills it seem. > > It is always good to get a comprehensive evaluation done to really > understand what is going on. I would also take her to a > developmental pediatrician or neurologist as well. > > This is only my opinion and my recommendation: Call EI and request a > comprehensive evaluation and at the same time make an appointment > with a dev. pediatrician or neurologist. There is often a long > waiting list, ask them to call you if they have cancellations. > > GL, > Nati > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 Hi Helen! I have to have the time to read both of your messages to answer a bit more (we are having " birthday week " here for Tanner as his actual b'day was Wednesday so we went away for that but his party is tomorrow so getting everything ready for that!) but I'll throw a few things out and ask a few questions which will make it easier for all to give feedback. Based on what I read quickly it sounds like you are correct in guessing that your child cannot answer -which is different than not knowing the answer and different than having no interest in answering. I don't know based on what you wrote if the issue is developmental or not -I am not even sure based on what you wrote if there are oral motor issues there. It doesn't sound like she has autism which would be the reason to take her to the psychologist as one person suggested -it sounds to me instead that she is fully aware of her limitations of speech and is feeling self conscious about it. From what you have written her delay is that she's not saying sentences yet and the one she attempts that you are trying to teach her she simplified - so of course she's not going to be able to talk to you about her friends at school, or anything else that takes more than a single word. That's not autism -that's a communication problem. If she was to be taught sign language or PECS at this point she probably would have more of a " conversation " with you. But outside of writing and typing which are probably a few years down the road -she has no other way to communicate. Whether her delays are developmental or due to impairment at this point the one thing you want to watch is her self esteem because that is precious -and she has already gone through so much. While other babies are with their families the first few months of life she spent more than her first year of life in an orphanage -poor thing. She clearly wants to please you and make you happy -but it's clear that to make you happy at this point will take sentences. We worry and push and without meaning to at times we put more pressure on our children who are delayed. The best thing is to do just what you are doing. Learn as much as you can so you can understand why she may not be at the level that is expected of her yet. The good news is that she appears to notice her limitations and that her receptive and cognitive ability are tested to be within normal range which explains her frustration -and also points more to a speech impairment vs. a simple delay. But again due to her history it's possible it's all still developmental and she just needs a bit more time. The fact that you are so aggressive in seeking help for her is awesome and the fact she is currently in speech therapy 2X a week is perfect! You are doing a great job and she's fortunate she has a mom like you who's above average in seeking help for her after over a year of being orphaned. I would if I were you make an appointment with that neurodevelopmental pediatrician just to make sure. I would not make an appointment with a psychologist. Make it easy for her for now and give her time until you learn more about why she has a delay in speech at this point. In addition to the neuroMD the SLP may be able to tell you more as she works with your daughter. To help relieve frustrations on her part and worry on yours -next time you want to ask " who says moo moo? " show her various pictures, photos, or play models of farm animals and let her point to which is correct. Make a huge deal about how smart she is when she does. She may not say " cow " or " hello " because those may be words she doesn't yet feel comfortable with attempting for whatever reason. She may block you out if you start asking a number of questions due to her frustration. If you just ask her a yes or no question in isolation (without all the other questions around it) will she answer a question like " did you have lunch today? " by saying yes or no or shaking her head? Even though it's unclear as to why the delay -here's an archive on " late talker vs apraxia " Re: Hi! New and wondering about apraxia. Hi Mrs Laurie and welcome! Your son sounds like he has some oral apraxia which would of course need to be confirmed by professionals. If oral apraxia is present together with your child's delay he should at least be diagnosed as " suspected apraxia " and appropriate therapy should be provided. He is entitled by federal law to a free and appropriate public education (FAPE) in the least restrictive environment (LRE) which means that if 5 days of one on one speech therapy is appropriate for him then that's what he should receive. What type of speech therapy is he receiving from the school right now when you say " some " ? Below is a very long archive to help -please know that you don't have to understand it all at once -we're here as a group to help! Thanks for sharing. This group has from the start been a group that's made up of parents and professionals who care for children with many types of speech and/or language delays and/or disorders. There are parents here for example with undiagnosed " late talkers " and we just have not heard from them in awhile. It's actually a really good thing when there is a mix of us to share because we all learn from each other as many diagnoses can overlap -or down the road we learn that our child does have co diagnosis. While this group is open to parents of all children with communication impairments -including hearing impaired, autistic etc. it wasn't that all that posted recently had a child with autism, or autism and apraxia -but because of society focus on autism -many here started following an autism approach -including ABA in some cases! That's understandable if the much more basic approach to apraxia -ST and OT and EFAs were tried first and didn't work -but some were trying that to start. The overwhelming majority (if you check the archives) have success with the basic approach to apraxia. On the other hand- most of us are dealing with more than verbal apraxia.we just don't know that when our child is 2 -and we learn through professionals and observations as they continue to grow and more and more is expected of them. This is also why it's important to take your child for a neurodevelopmental medical exam when your child is suspected of apraxia to confirm or rule out other diagnosis such as sensory integration dysfunction etc. The earlier you know - the sooner to start appropriate therapies to get them up to speed by kindergarten. Don't let it overwhelm you -perhaps we aren't meant to know more than what we have to know at each stage. We'll be here to help along the way. It's OK to have any type of emotion when we find out our child has more than a simple delay -or " more " than " just " verbal apraxia. And it's OK to be completely overwhelmed and saddened to find out your child has apraxia. And as I was one of those parents it's never " just " apraxia when you find out!!! It's OK to be upset " just " because your child is a " late talker " too! Please know that I too believed Tanner to just have apraxia and have my first message posted to a grouplist about that below.but down the road found out he had a few other things we needed to help him address. The incredible news is that the majority of our children if you check history are up to speed to be mainstreamed by kindergarten- and of course many have learned with communication impaired children that it's best to start kindergarten at 6 vs. 5 to give them that one extra year of therapy and developmental time. If you have questions after reading the following please share them. This group has always been a wealth of information for all of us, no matter how long we've been here. Below is a new member archived message to hopefully answer more of your questions for now (did you read The Late Talker yet?) For updated information on fish oils and vitamin E and more - please visit the links section here /links What type of apraxic like speech behaviors are you seeing that makes you and the SLP suspect your child has apraxia vs. a simple delay in speech? Is your child talking at all yet? At your child's age - without speech, it's difficult to diagnose verbal apraxia -they could " suspect " verbal apraxia and begin treatment just in case, which wouldn't hurt your child if he ended up just having a simple delay. Just a few questions before we could provide more accurate answers: Does your child have signs of oral apraxia? (for example, can he on command smile, imitate funny faces, blow bubbles...if you put peanut butter anywhere around his mouth can he lick it off no matter where it is?) http://www.cherab.org/information/speechlanguage/oralapraxia.html Does your child have any neurological " soft signs " such as hypotonia or sensory integration dysfunction? http://www.cherab.org/information/speechlanguage/parentfriendlysoftsigns.html Who else evaluated your child? Was it only the SLP through your town school or was he also in Early Intervention through the state? (birth to three) Was he evaluated by both a speech pathologist as well as an occupational therapist? Was/were they knowledgeable about apraxia? (If your child wasn't diagnosed by an occupational therapist as well and professionals suspect apraxia -I highly recommend you request that too either through both the school as well as private through insurance for many reasons) To answer any questions you may have about taking your child to see a neurodevelopmental MD if he has not yet been to one and apraxia is suspected... in one word - " Yes!!! " I would have your child diagnosed (private) by a neurodevelopmental medical doctor (developmental pediatrician or pediatric neurologist) who is knowledgeable about apraxia and other neurologically based multi-faceted communication impairments for numerous reasons. Reasons include (but not limited to) *having a " hero " on the outside of the school who can assist in a therapeutic plan and oversee your child's development over the years *advocacy support with the insurance company * ruling out or confirming any neurological soft signs or any other reasons for the delay in speech *help those that ask " why isn't he talking yet " understand this is a medical condition -and has nothing to do with your child's cognitive ability. (if in your child's case it doesn't. Apraxia in itself does not affect a child's cognitive ability -and speaking early or late is no indication of a child's intelligence. Also contrary to popular belief -most who have speech impairments have average to above average intelligence) Here's an article written by Neurodevelopmental Pediatrician Dr. Marilyn Agin that was featured as a cover article in Contemporary Pediatrics -a trade magazine for hundreds of thousands of pediatric medical professionals across the US. (I wrote the parent guide) " The " late talker " -when silence isn't golden Not all children with delayed speech are " little Einsteins " or garden variety " late bloomers. " Some have a speech-language disorder that will persist unless warning signs are recognized and intervention comes early. Includes a Guide for Parents. " Podcast interview with Dr. Marilyn Agin from Contemporary Pediatrics http://contemporarypediatrics.modernmedicine.com/radio_peds4 Actual article (where you can read it for free) http://drgreene.mediwire.com/main/Default.aspx?P=Content & ArticleID=132720 or http://opsc.mediwire.com/main/Default.aspx?P=Content & ArticleID=132720 My parent guide still works (for free) http://www.contemporarypediatrics.com/contpeds/data/articlestandard/contpeds/492\ \ 004/136315/article.pdf I would also have at least one private " out of pocket " (if possible) exam with a knowledgeable speech pathologist as well. This SLP can coordinate with your child's MD, and school therapist and other professionals, and again be there to assist in a therapeutic plan, help set goals and oversee your child's development over the years if needed. Networking with parents of other speech-impaired children is also possibly one of the best moves you could make in your child's recovery. Others will steer you to the " right " professionals and programs in your area -and you won't feel so alone. I would HIGHLY recommend joining a whose goal is to unite parents and professionals. This group / is through CHERAB http://www.cherab.org The speechville website also has message boards so that you can talk to other parents on particular topics. http://www.speech-express.com/boards/ Check your state resources at Speechville to find local support groups and resources. http://www.speech-express.com/regional-resources.html http://www.speech-express.com/communication-station/regional-support-groups.html (BTW -for anyone who is either running or starting a support group - due to The Late Talker book and the many who will see your group, please make sure your info is up at this website and accurate) For all your other questions including what type of testing -just read " The Late Talker " . (Nike said 'Just Do It!' -I say 'Just Read It!') At Amazon.com you can even start today and read sample pages of the book online! " The first book to show parents how to tell whether a child has a speech delay -or a more serious speech disorder Every parent eagerly awaits the day his or her child will speak for the fist time. For millions of mothers and fathers, however, anticipation turns to anxiety when those initial, all-important words are a long time coming. Many worried parents are reassured that their child is " just a late talker, " but unfortunately, that is not always the case. Co-author Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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