Thanks for Member support! Re: does anyone have a family member in denial of child's issues?

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone.I just wanted to add my situation to the mix to let you all know

that I think this is a widespread problem, among men especially, but also

with well-meaning family members.

First, my husband is very loving and adores our son Ricky. Ricky was

brought into this world with some medical problems as he was born with

Hirschsprung's Disease, which is a serious defect in the colon. My husband

was so supportive and we worked together as a team to troubleshoot and

problem solve Ricky's issues his first year of life (between surgeries and

taking care of a colostomy, etc.). And to this day, he still does OK with

helping with problems related to Hirschsprung's.BUT, my husband can't seem

to see or accept that Ricky has " other " problems that need his attention. I

just don't think my husband can handle it honestly, so even though there's a

huge purple elephant in the room my husband refuses to look at it or talk

about it. I have tried everything I can think of to get him to join me on

this journey through Autism and Dyspraxia, but he just doesn't seem capable

of it. I get so angry sometimes that I must bear the full burden myself,

but I think as a mom that is what God made us to do. A woman has the

ability to put herself aside and fight to the death for her child.I love my

husband very much and I'm so thankful for the things he does for our family

and the love he gives to our children.I just wish he could help me with this

too, but I've given up on it, though I do hope that things can change in the

future.

Now, I also have problems of other family members being in denial and that

is plain annoying (my mom included). Most of the time my worries and

concerns are dismissed with a random explanation about " you know your

brother used to do the same thing when he was little " or " that's just

like.such and such " . I've learned to take what they say and just brush it

aside. I've also learned that I have very good instincts when it comes to

my children and that mine are all that I can truly trust. I mistakenly

listened to well-meaning family members for far too long about Ricky and

wasted precious years that could have been spent in therapy and treatment.

Now my other son, Ricky's younger brother, is starting to show some

troubling symptoms and I'll be damned if I'm going to ignore those and hope

he'll grow out of it. I have to remind myself that nothing can be hurt by

taking action, but too much can be lost if no action is taken. I know that

a lot of the time these family members are refuting my worries because they

worry about me and don't want these things to be true (neither do I!). But

ignoring things doesn't make it go away, it just wastes time.

I spend so much time feeling I'm alone in this battle and that is

depressing. It is hard not having a support network, but thankfully I have

people like you who know what I'm going through to vent to. For that, I

want to thank all the wonderful parents on the board for all the support you

give each other every day so we all know that we aren't in this alone!

Blessings and Love to You All!

, mom to Ricky (5 yrs, Autism, Dyspraxia/Apraxia, SID, ADHD,

Hirschsprung's Disease, etc.) and Lawson (3 yrs, brilliant! and showing some

mild autistic tendencies)