Autism Theory of Mind Revisited

[Guest guest]

A follow-up to Autism Myths - Theory of Mind

Although there are many research works on autism, few address the subjective

experience of autism. I propose that autistics have a different form of

consciousness from non-autistics, which arose from their different experience of

self.

About the self

Our self is not a fixed object, but a changing hologram-like system of

sensations (of the body), emotions (and desires), thoughts (of facts and

information), perception (the way we organized and judge information) and

consciousness - the 5 " combinations " of the mind. The connections between these

systems link the self together. Without these connections, the self does not

function.

With few connections, the self becomes dispersed and does not " awake " or become

active. Thus, the person " sleepwalks " . With unbalanced connections (too many in

some areas and too little in others), the self becomes very awake in some parts

and asleep in others. This distorts the inner experience of the person who then

lives a distorted life.

Comparisons

My own experiences revealed the most striking aspects of the autistic

consciousness:

AUTISTIC

NON-AUTISTIC

Fact based consciousness - Thoughts and experiences organized chronologically or

by logical categories

People based consciousness - Thoughts and emotions are organized by human

archetypes or experiences with people

Knowledge as the goal, analysisas the tool - The autistic has simple desires,

such as to fulfill curiosity and avoid trouble

Fulfilling desires as the goal, exercising influence as the tool - All thought,

words and deeds are aimed to create the right influence among other people to

achieve desires

Emotions are at the edges of consciousness, tying together any unexplainable

areas

Emotions at the core of consciousness, indistinguishable from other conscious

experience

Audio-visual imagination separated from tactile senses (like watching TV)

Tactile senses complement audio-visual imagination without any separation in

one's imagination

Self has an open boundary - tends assume that other people are like them and

trusts them equally

Self has a closed boundary - tends to bond with those they feel " comfortable "

with; regulates people with different levels of trust & information access

Consciousness does not " mark " non-verbal behavior as important, thus dismissing

them as irrelevant

Consciousness reacts instantly to subtle changes in non-verbal cues: Reactive

Predictive Communications

Consciousness experienced mostly through the self as the experiences and

thoughts of an individual

Consciousness experienced mostly through one's social circle as the collective

impression one has created

Locus of control weak or missing - the autistic does not experience a strong

sense of control over his thoughts, emotions and deeds

Locus of control inherent - the non-autistic experiences his thoughts, emotions

and deeds as willed by himself

Theory of Mind

Theory of Mind refers to the notion that many autistic individuals do not

understand that other people have their own plans, thoughts, and points of view.

Furthermore, it appears that they have difficulty understanding other people's

beliefs, attitudes, and emotions.

This passage might offend autistics because it sounds like this:

I have no idea why autistic people think the way they do. Maybe it is because

they are not socially intelligent enough to understand that other people do not

think the same as them. Perhaps we can only make them understand by dumbing down

social skills and then patiently teach them.

I propose the " Theory of Self " as a substitute. The key is that:

Autistics could not understand non-autistics because they do not have the

experience of non-autistics

If they have such experiences, it will help them understand and adapt to

mainstream society

To experience this, they must recreate the sense of self as experienced by

non-autistics

People who are color blind could not imagine certain colors, but if we can let

them catch a glimpse of colors, they will understand. If they spontaneously

recover their sense of colors, their visual instincts will take over and help

orientate them fast. Likewise, I believe that if only we can let the autistic

catch a glimpse of how non-autistics experience life, it will aid them much in

their development.

Psychological Barriers

The first step I took was to realize that I existed. For me to exist, I must

choose. For me to choose, I must defy what others ordered me to do in order to

build a future that I envisioned myself. It is not easy to develop their will,

especially if they have authoritarian parents who micromanage their every

decision.

The second step also requires much courage, because the autistic often develops

hidden barriers as they grow up. I call these " psychological barriers " , which

may consist of:

Fear of people, novel situations, being judged as inferior, social rejection

Anger from being bullied, mistreated, misunderstood, ignored, rejected

Loneliness from social handicaps, difficulty finding play partners & team mates

Pride from rejecting non-autistic ways, associating with " elite " people, being a

genius or expert

These habitual responses arise emotional patterns embedded in the subconscious.

Although non-autistics can also experience them, autistics are especially

vulnerable due to their difficulty adapting to life on Planet Earth. I

experienced 5 factors that helped me resolve these barriers:

Conversations with God books - convinced me that the world is good, beautiful &

meaningful

Emotional Releasing - provided a tool to release old patterns consciously

Work experience with accommodating colleagues - allowed me to try new

experiences in real life

Writing stories - the stories came alive as I wrote, giving me a glimpse into

the life of non-autistics

Experiencing my life work - seeing the results of my life work told me why I

must make the effort

The Result

The journey to adapt to Planet Earth took many years, starting from the end of

2002 to 2007.

I started feeling that the world is alive, even the rocks and buildings

Emotions became strong and difficult to control, much like wild horses

3D perception returned spontaneously together with my bodily awareness

I started to relax as my perception of time normalized and I stopped feeling

anxious or bored

People made sense as I " felt them within me " , and I just knew what to say or do

I began to understand many concepts " in a flash " without using words or logic

Emotions moderated themselves into a sense of confidence after I gained enough

real-life experience to understand how the world works

I believe that I was catching up on my emotional development from the

pre-teenage level to post-teenage during this period of time. It seemed that my

systems were only waiting for me to begin exploring my emotions before it

triggered everything else.

I believe that this inside-out approach will work for other high functioning

autistics with self-consciousness. However, they must first choose to accept

non-autistics and change their ways. As I am not an autism professional, I can

only share my observations in the hope that it will help other people.

Love, Gabby. :0)

http://stemcellforautism.blogspot.com/

 

" I know of nobody who is purely Autistic or purely neurotypical. Even God had

some Autistic moments, which is why the planets all spin. " ~ Jerry Newport