? 4 Janice

[Guest guest]

For everyone to begin with.  I saw a post a month or so back and someone had an

issue with the word " mentally retarded " saying something like " who says that any

more. " Well I asked a friend of mine (who is a social worker and was a medical

assistant) what the difference was, if any, between global development delay and

mentally retarded. This was the answer.  They are not the same thing.  You can

be mentally retarded (having a slower processing mind/comprehension than your

peers) without having anything " wrong " with your physical body - so you can

jump, climb, swim, be coordinated etc.  Or you could have a perfectly normal

brain (comparable to your peers), but have a body that has issues (lack of

coordination, poor fine or gross motor skills - whatever -you get the point

right.) Also, on all of the doctor appointments that I take him too, they

actually have a code number that they use and they write mental retardation on

most all of the paperwork. 

I've also seen global developmental delay (on the paperwork at the doctor's

visits, as well - so I was confused.  Were they one and the same, but maybe one

is more politically correct?  I was told, " NO, they are not the same. "   When I

say MR, it is an abbreviation for mentally retarded and it is not the same as

calling someone an MR - which is horrible (I've worked with disabled - " mentally

retarded " -children & adults since I was in high school -started with work

experience in the special ed. department, then I went on to work at a school for

children who were mentally retarded, and then our family ran a group home with

adults with the same issues (for 4.5 years), so I do not mean any disrespect or

demeaning at all, as they are beautiful people that we can learn a lot from -

including acceptance, unconditional love, forgiveness and patience, just to

mention a few of the biggies.  So with that said - I'm on to the questions for

Janice. 

Based on past posts, I have a few questions for you if you don't mind.  To begin

with, you stated that your child was in a SDC for the mental retarded in second

grade, I believe, and now is 100% mainstreamed and getting mostly As, some Bs

(and in honors classes at that)-being at the age of 13 now.  I'd first like to

know why he was considered mentally retarded.  Was it based on a low cognitive

score or was it based on emotional behaviors or the physical behaviors or

characteristics ie: lack of coordination or what.  Did you believe your child

to be mentally retarded (truly in your heart) or is that just what others (I'm

assuming doctors, teachers, ie:professionals) told you.  If based on cognitive

score, do you know what testing they used and would you care to expound on the

subject.  Then somewhere along the line, you (or someone) must have realized

that he wasn't mentally retarded (or did you just start mainstreaming and he

happened

to do better than expected?) Whose idea was it to mainstream him and how did

you go about it.  Was it in small steps, like 10% mainstreaming -say in Reading

class for X amount of time (most likely a year with an IEP) and then the next

year up it to say 25% or what?  How did you go about this??? How did all of that

transpire??? 

I have a child who is so similar (in an SDC class for mentally retarded) and I

just don't think that he is (and neither did the DAN doctor, neither does the

children's director at our church (and she ran a preschool for about 12 years

and has a teaching credential) and neither does his Mental Health worker, nor

his Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA).  I'd like to push for more

mainstreaming, but I don't know really how to do this or how to justify it.  He

is currently in a county program which I'm learning is saved for the children

with the most severe disabilities.  He is the smartest kid in the class and I

just don't feel like he belongs there.  The DAN doctor told me, " You don't want

your child to be the smartest in the class.  I have patients who are much worse

off than your child who are 100% mainstreamed with an aide. "   Almost everytime

that I go there, he is just walking around the room, because I believe he is

bored (there is

a lot of downtime due to the disabilities of the other very needy students.) 

The teacher's own words said that there is a lot of time where he is " left on

his own " because the needs of the other children outweigh his needs (as they

have to actually feed other childrens as well as physically help them to walk,

take them to the bathroom etc.)  He is pretty much able to do everything himself

(though he doesn't do the best wiping himself, but he is working on it). 

Sometimes, he does remind me of the people that I have worked with in the past -

sloppy face when eating, will go into a room in a public place (ie: bathroom )

and get lost when coming out - I could be looking right at him waving my

arms saying his name and he'll just be looking all over saying, " Where mommy

go? " .  He is very uncoordinated, but he has come such a long way since living

here the past two years and is getting more coordinated all the time and

stronger as well (I take him to therapy 2xs a month and she tells me what to

work on at home and I come home and do it -though I admit - not daily which I

really want to start incorporating.)  He does throw temper tantrums still, but

they are getting better.  He seems like he understands everything.  When he

doesn't understand something he says,

I don't know what (blah, blah) means?  Then I explain it to him and he says,

" Oh, thanks for telling me what " blah, blah " means. I not know that before. "  

Does this sound like you son (in the past) at all? - I've read about behavior

problems with others in this group, but most are talking about younger

children.  He didn't even come to live here until he was 7.5 y.o. and with a LOT

of emotional issues, as is common for foster children and the life that they've

lived through and the things that they seen and been exposed to - which

apparently was pretty bad for him, so that too would explain the temper tantrums

combined with being completely nonverbal - can you imagine????  But your child,

also was, older when he started making progress, so I was hoping that you could

give some examples of what he was like and how you made the switches to where he

is today. 

I am learning that these issues are common for children with apraxia/dyspraxia

(he just started talking in single words last summer and in sentences a few

months ago (after starting the oils in May) and when he first came here, his

body would shake uncontrollable when I tried to get him to do exercise (I don't

think he ever used his muscles - now he can climb and hang etc - much stronger -

much more to do though.    I'm thinking that he is going to get better and

better (yes, I'm expecting a lot, but I feel like I have to have hope for this

little guy - nobody else has for his entire life).  I hope that I'm not setting

myself up for a fall (but I don't think so) as I realize that it is a

possibility that he really is mentally retarded and will always be, but we'll

never know until we try to help him to the best of our ability.  We are

currently eating an almost totally organic, milk-free diet (still making the

switch and we have some old food to

use up first - condiments especially), he is on probiotics, a really good

multivitamin (suggested by DAN dr.), the oils, has OT at school 30 min. a week,

ST two times a week (30 min each time), one group, one individual (most of the

time), APE 30 min/wk (all at school) and I take him to PT 2xs/month.

He is 9.5 years old by the way. 

 

Blessings to You,

 

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Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you:  not as the world giveth give

I unto you.  Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. 

14:27