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Re: Affectionate

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I know for my daughter who is 9 we have had to just lay it out plain and clear.

She does not usually pick up on social cues, and often her reactions are

inappropriate, but if she is told an appropriate response and practices it she

is happy to do it. For example, she once pinched a girl in the bathroom and the

girl started crying. When asked why she pinched her she told us she wanted to

be her friend and didn't know what to say to her so she pinched her...obviously

not the way to make a friend but it made sense to her. So we practiced her

saying " hi " and waving to people as she passed them in the hallway. That worked

much better. She also hugs people...we simply told her she is only to hug us.

She has worked up to asking someone if they want a hug before giving one and

showing her a hug is a quick squeeze then release, not a hug squeeze tackle sort

of thing.

She is smart, and can understand what to do once told, she just can't figure it

out on her own.

Barbara

[ ] Affectionate

My son will be 6 on October 29th and he very affectionate with other people

by this I mean he like kissing everyone. Yesterday, he kiss another kindergarten

and he hit him. How can I teach him to only be affectionate with Family only?

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My 8dd is the exact same way! She was hugging everyone in prek--with mostly

women in her preschool--that was ok.With very few words and signing as her form

of communication-hugging was her way of saying Hi. But when she got to K--they

said the touching and hugging had to stop. no one wanted her hugging the men in

the school and the other kids were uncomfortable with her lack of knowing

personal space boundaries. Her teachers and aides also taught her to wave to

everyone in the hallway that she wanted to hug and that she could only hug at

home. She is very smart and loveable and like the other mom said-only needed a

little direction to change her habits.

good luck.

>

> I know for my daughter who is 9 we have had to just lay it out plain and

clear. She does not usually pick up on social cues, and often her reactions are

inappropriate, but if she is told an appropriate response and practices it she

is happy to do it.

So we practiced her saying " hi " and waving to people as she passed them in the

hallway. That worked much better. She also hugs people...we simply told her

she is only to hug us. She has worked up to asking someone if they want a hug

before giving one and showing her a hug is a quick squeeze then release, not a

hug squeeze tackle sort of thing.

>

> She is smart, and can understand what to do once told, she just can't figure

it out on her own.

>

> Barbara

> [ ] Affectionate

>

>

> My son will be 6 on October 29th and he very affectionate with other

people by this I mean he like kissing everyone. Yesterday, he kiss another

kindergarten and he hit him. How can I teach him to only be affectionate with

Family only?

>

>

>

>

>

>

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If it's kissing it's probably just affection and social, but look at sensory

stuff for the chronic hugger, particularly the child who gives everyone huge

bear hugs that people find uncomfortable. I've known many friends with

sensory seeking kids who sought out that kind of firm physical contact with

peers in preschool and K. Weighted vests, deep pressure therapy, etc helped

bring those kids around to hugging with appropriate force and also less

frequently and everyone was more comfortable.

Miche

On Tue, Oct 27, 2009 at 8:20 PM, trayc25@... <trayc25@...> wrote:

>

>

> My son will be 6 on October 29th and he very affectionate with other people

> by this I mean he like kissing everyone. Yesterday, he kiss another

> kindergarten and he hit him. How can I teach him to only be affectionate

> with Family only?

>

>

>

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Thanks everyone for posting:

My son is very affectionate. He will grab my face and kiss me all over. Then

again that what I do to him. The problem is he doesn't get that its not

appropriate to kiss everyone. I prefer he didn't kiss anyone at school. His

teacher been trying to teach all the kids that kissing is for Mommy and Daddy

and Grandma and so on. I just don't want him to get beat up for being

affectionate. I talk to my son Speech therapist and she is going to make him a

social story.� In the meantime, I will use the circle of closeness to try to

explain it to him and if I see him about to kiss someone I will try to stop it.

My son loves interacting with other children to me that's his high being able to

run around and play with them. I would hate for them to ostracize him since the

kids feel a void in his life. On the other hand, I don't want him to catch

anything from someone being sick.

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Through the help of my son's ABA therapist a PICTURE social story book was

created for him with specific sentences on each page. This was a result of

a young girl in kindergarten reg. ed who was going aroun kissing boys on

the mouth. She unfortunately decided to step it up a notch by tongue

kissing!!! Of course the school's idea of helping my son who has a professional

diagnosis of autism/speech impaired and trouble with social pragmatic

language was to do nothing at al.. In the picture social story book, the

therapist

told us to give her pictures of my son kissing mom, dad, grandma, grandpa,

family, etc. And then a class picture of his classmates indicating it

was not okay to be kissed by anyone in your class, and to speak up and tell

the teacher

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