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Re: Re: Unhappy Baby

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Jodi,

 How old is your son?

________________________________

From: JodiRoxx <jfirneno@...>

Sent: Tue, December 15, 2009 10:00:35 AM

Subject: [ ] Re: Unhappy Baby

 

Hi ,

My son has verbal apraxia and we struggle with the same emotions he exhibits.

The nurse at Early On basically told us that since he cannot verbally express

himself, the frustration and anger set in. He will scream, hit us and throw

himself to the ground. As he learns to speak, we will see a decrease in the

negative behavior. It is an ongoing battle, but we must take it one day at a

time. Please let me know what your neurologist says, my son hasn't been to one

yet, we had an appt in September but I relunctently cancelled due to my

husband's urging. It took three months to make and now I regret that I listened

to him, there may be other issues as well but I will have to start from square

one again.

>

> Hi, I posted here about a week ago and I was impressed with the info I

recieved. I have an almost 2 year old that has " some form of verbal apraxia " . I

am not sure what this means but that is not why I am posting. My concern is that

my son has always (since birth) had a temper and agression. It is getting worse

as he gets older. I feel that he is unhappy or angry or stressed most of the

time. How do you deal with this and tell me your story so I have something to

compare to. I am getting very frustrated!! ! We are going to see a neurologist

on December 21st. I hope there is something we can do to improve his behavior

and make him " happy " like my sweet baby boy deserves to be.

>

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This is WONDERFUL!!

________________________________

From: kiddietalk <kiddietalk@...>

Sent: Tue, December 15, 2009 9:01:54 AM

Subject: [ ] Re: Unhappy Baby

here's an article I just found that may be useful as well:

Tantrums, Tears, and Tempers:

Behavior Is Communication

What’s really going on when a child throws

a tantrum at a store or cries incessantly

before bedtime? The child is trying to express

something that he or she can’t say in words. In

the first case, it might mean the child wants a

candy bar or toy. In the second, it might mean

the child is afraid of the dark

For young children, behavior is communication

that’s used to meet needs. It’s how

they let you know they either want something

or want to avoid something. The reason they

sometimes use such challenging behaviors

is because it works. By understanding what

your child is trying to express, you can better

respond to his or her needs and help your child

learn more positive ways to communicate.

Behavior Has a Purpose

To determine the purpose of your child’s

behavior, start by looking at what is happening

before and after it begins. Consider changes

in routines, times of the day it happens, and

social situations that seem to trigger it. If

you can identify the purpose of your child’s

behavior, you can determine strategies to

address his or her needs and encourage

positive behaviors.

Try to keep your focus on what your child

is communicating and avoid labeling the

behavior or your child as “bad.†When you

do, you’ll be able to better put the behavior

in perspective and focus on strategies to help

your child acquire needed skills.

Factors that Affect Behavior

Your child’s developmental stage, temperament,

and disability all affect his or her

behavior. Here’s how.

Child Development Stages

Child development guidelines suggest the ages

at which children typically develop various

physical, reasoning, social, and emotional

skills. Being familiar with these guidelines

can help you pinpoint major areas where your

child might be lagging. Developmental delays

can affect your child’s ability to communicate

with you.

Temperament

Temperament describes the way a child tends

to react to people, places, and experiences.

Children who are easygoing usually are quick

to adapt to new situations and are comfortable

with new experiences. Children who are

intense tend to react dramatically, take longer

to adapt, and can be easily frustrated. Children

who are fearful are cautious, slower to adapt,

and may take longer to be comfortable with

new experiences. For example, if your child

is intense, moving immediately from one

activity to another might trigger an outburst.

Careful planning on how to transition your

child slowly from one activity to another will

be key to fostering positive behavior.

Disability

Your child’s disability also may affect his or

her behavior. A child with sensory disorders,

for example, may not be able to handle

noisy spaces with many people. A child with

autism might find making eye contact and

being around other children stressful. As a

result, such children may communicate their

feelings through tantrums.

Encourage Positive Behaviors

Knowing that behavior has a purpose and

is affected by other factors, you can help

your child build the necessary skills to

communicate more effectively. Here are some

strategies to try.

Reinforce Good Behavior

Be sure to praise your child for appropriate

behavior.

Provide Structure and Consistency

Young children need consistent schedules

and ground rules. Such stability helps provide

a safe and predictable environment for them to learn

appropriate behaviors over time.

Collect Data

Keep a log that documents challenging behaviors. Note

when the behavior occurs, what the child is doing before

and after it happens, and what is going on in the child’s

environment when the behavior takes place. If you see a

consistent pattern, then you can devise strategies to address

that behavior.

Name the Behavior You’re Encouraging

By naming the appropriate behavior for your child, you are

helping him or her reinforce it. For example, you might say,

“Sharing your toys with Sally is a nice thing to do.â€

Give Words for Emotions

Help your child identify emotions and needs in certain

situations by teaching simple phrases such as “I don’t like

that!†or “Help me!†Also give your child the language

to explain feelings and bring a conclusion to them. For

example, you might teach him or her to say, “I’m all done

being mad.â€

Change the Environment

If you can change the environment so a behavior is reduced

or eliminated, it will help your child.

Give Choices

Give your child a sense of control by offering basic choices.

To keep things simple, it’s best to give only two options, such

as, “Do you want to wear your blue shirt or yellow shirt?â€

Avoid Power Struggles

Try to compromise with your child. For example, you might

say, “I’ll pick up one toy and you pick up one toy.â€

Summary

Behavior is how a child tells you something he or she cannot

tell you in words. It is affected by the child’s developmental

stage, temperament, and type of disability. To understand

behavior, it is helpful if you are aware, insightful, and use

effective skills in managing the behavior. You can use the

strategies recommended in this handout to build on your

own knowledge about your child.

Related Information

PACER Material

“Young Children with Challenging Behaviorâ€

This handout provides guidelines for typical behavior of

children from birth to 5 years and gives suggestions on ways

to encourage positive behaviors. Download PHP-c106 for

free at PACER.org.

Web Sites

• PACER Center: PACER.org

• Center for Early Education & Development (University

of Minnesota): http://cehd.umn.edu/ceed/

• Center for Evidence-based Practice: Young Children

with Challenging Behavior: challengingbehavior.org.

• Minnesota Parents Know: mnparentsknow.com

http://www.pacer.org/parent/php/php-c154.pdf

=====

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