parent to parent newletters

[Guest guest]

Dear Parents:

Attached is our last Parent to Parent E-Newsletter (Spanish version is

attached as well). Please share it with other families.

Thanks,

Myriam Alizo

Parent Group Specialist, START Project

Northeast Regional Parent Associate, PtP

Statewide Parent Advocacy Network

www.spannj.org

P please consider the environment before printing this email

=================================

A Father's Gift

By, Bob , Southern Regional P2P Associate

When my son was 7 years old and other fathers were preparing their young men

football, I was on constant call for therapy visits to occupational

therapists, physical therapy sessions in the pool and untold hours to meet

with school administrators.

Many of the joys other father's experience in those elementary school years,

like teaching your child to ride a bike were not mine to behold. Day's I

dreamed he would somehow magically be healed and not have the challenges

that faced him. " What would his first date with a girl be like? " I thought.

Handing him the keys to my somewhat dated automobile? These were probably

not to be.

As Grant grew, these dreams were never lost or placed in a trunk in the

rafters of the attic. What did occur was a shift in my perception in the

joy in fathering a disabled Son, and the true gift his life has graced me

with in my time here on earth.

I was speaking with a colleague in the fall of 2007, and the topic of all we

as special needs parents encounter in raising our special child. I shared

with him that I too have had struggles with the emotional, time commitment,

and daily fatigue in being one of those parents. Also I reflected the new

understanding I have come to know that allows me to freely give the love,

care and happiness to other's facing similar challenges in raising their

children. The essence of which is.

" Grant's disabilities were in no way a product of mine or my wife's

lifestyle before we desired to raise a family. They were from a mix of

unfortunate circumstances and from what was to be destined from God.

Unfortunate circumstances we had no influence over, and Gods plans were

pre-destined. The profound psychological shift was to tap into God's grace,

for through his plans I have a Son from whom I receive humor, unfaltering

love, and a closeness that is beyond any relationship I have ever had. "

This life has provided a level of joy and reward, one in which self seeking

and singular pursuit for want, would never have produced. Therefore I am

truly blessed with God's ultimate gift, peacefulness, serenity and

happiness.

Father's Corner

On June 18th- P2P hosted a tele-conference for fathers in honor of Fathers

Day which was facilitated by Dr. Naseef. He was joined by three other

fathers who shared their personal experiences about fathering a child with

special needs. If you would like to hear the audio of this call, go to

www.spannj.org/support

" The central struggle of parenthood is to let our hopes for our children

outweigh our fears. " (Ellen Goodman)

10 Tips for

Caregivers

1. Reward yourself with respite breaks.

2. Watch out for signs of depression

3. When people offer to help, accept the offer.

4. Educate yourself about your loved one's condition.

5. Be open to technologies that support your loved one's independence.

6. Trust your instincts.

7. Be good to your back.

8. Grieve for your losses, and learn to dream new dreams.

9. Seek support from other caregivers.

10. Stand up for your rights.

Taken from National Family Caregivers

Association www.nfcacares.org

____________________________________

Early Intervention

Family Alliance. The EIFA is a national organization of family members and

supporters dedicated to improving the national early intervention program

for eligible infants and toddlers with disabilities and their families by

assuring meaningful family involvement in the development of Part C policies

and implementation at community, state and federal levels. For more

information on how to join the alliance go to www.eifamilyalliance.org

New national website!

The U.S. Department of Labor has launched this site for people with

disabilities, their family members, caregivers, employers and others. This

site includes comprehensive information on disability specific programs and

services. This site also includes opportunities for you to share and receive

information by participating in online discussions.

www.disability.gov

register for this event please contact

Ramona Carmeci at 732-528-8080.

__________________________________

RESOURCES

www.specialneedsparentcoach.com

Our goal is to give you the practical strategies you need for successfully

navigating life as a parent of a child with special needs. Our proven

system helps you create a manageable, balanced, and joyful life, for both

you and your family.

www.spannj.org

The Statewide Parent Advocacy Network provides information, training,

technical assistance and support to parents and professionals on a wide

variety of topics that impact children in NJ.

www.selfhelpgroups.org

New Jersey Self-Help Group Clearinghouse. Helping people help each other

through mutual aid support groups. To find or form a support group in your

area.

El Regalo de un Padre

Por Bob , Asociado de Padre a Padre para la Regi�n Sur

Cuando mi hijo ten�a 7 a�os de edad y otros padres preparaban a sus hijos

para la temporada de f�tbol, yo estaba de guardia permanente en visitas al

terapeuta ocupacional, a las sesiones de fisioterapia en la piscina y pasaba

incontables horas en reuniones con los administradores escolares.

Muchas de las alegr�as de las experiencias t�picas de un padre en los a�os

de escuela elemental de su hijo, como ense�arle a andar en bicicleta por

ejemplo, no fueron parte de mi vida. A veces llegu� a so�ar que mi hijo

alg�n d�a iba a amanecer curado como por obra y arte de magia, y que ya no

iba a tener que enfrentar m�s los desaf�os que presenta d�a a d�a. A

veces

me pregunto: " �C�mo ser�a su primera cita con una chica? " . �Entregarle

las

llaves de mi viejo autom�vil? Esto probablemente nunca llegar� a ocurrir.

A medida que Grant crec�a, estos sue�os no se perdieron en el vac�o, ni

fueron colocados en un ba�l en el �tico de nuestra casa. Lo que ha ocurrido

es un cambi� en mi percepci�n del concepto diferente de la alegr�a de ser

padre de un ni�o con una discapacidad, y de la apreciaci�n del verdadero

regalo que la bendici�n de su vida me ha otorgado durante mi estad�a aqu�

en

la tierra.

Al conversar con un colega en el oto�o de 2007, un tema recurrente era el de

las necesidades que enfrentamos los padres en la crianza de nuestros ni�os

especiales. Compart� con �l que yo tambi�n he tenido luchas internas por

el

compromiso emocional, la dedicaci�n, la entrega, el tiempo, y la fatiga

diaria al ser yo mismo uno de estos padres. Tambi�n reflexion� sobre nuevas

facetas que he llegado a conocer sobre mi persona, las cuales me han

permitido ofrecer cari�o, compasi�n y alegr�a a otros que est�n pasando

por

problemas similares en la crianza de sus hijos.

" Las discapacidades de Grant no son de ninguna manera el producto del estilo

de vida de nosotros, sus padres, antes de desear formar una familia. M�s

bien son una combinaci�n de circunstancias desafortunadas y de lo que iba a

ser el plan de Dios. No tenemos ning�n tipo de control sobre las

circunstancias desafortunadas, y los planes de Dios no se pueden cambiar. El

cambio psicol�gico profundo ha sido aprovechar la gracia de Dios, ya que a

trav�s de sus planes tengo un hijo que le ha dado humor a mi vida, y de

quien he recibido un amor inquebrantable, y con el cual comparto una

cercan�a que va m�s all� de cualquier relaci�n que he tenido

anteriormente. "

La vida me ha proporcionado un nivel de alegr�a y recompensas, en el que la

b�squeda individual y el deseo personal de " obtener " no tienen cabida. Por

lo tanto, me siento verdaderamente bendecido por el regalo fundamental de

Dios: tranquilidad, serenidad, paz interior y felicidad.

La Esquina del Padre

El 18 de junio-De Padre a Padre organiz� una tele-conferencia para los

padres en honor del D�a del Padre, que fue facilitado por el Dr.

Naseef. A �l se unieron otros tres padres que compartieron sus experiencias

personales sobre la crianza de un ni�o con necesidades especiales. Si desea

escuchar la grabaci�n de esta llamada, vaya a www.spannj.org/support

" La lucha central de los padres es dejar que nuestras esperanzas sobrepasen

a nuestros temores " . (Ellen Goodman)

10 Consejos Para Padres y Proveedores de Cuidados

1. Pr�miese con recesos y descansos.

2. Est� atento a los s�ntomas de la depresi�n

3. Cuando la gente ofrezca ayuda, acepte la oferta.

4. Ed�quese acerca de la condici�n de su ser querido

5. Est� abierto a las tecnolog�as que apoyan la independencia de su ser

querido.

6. Conf�e en sus instintos.

7. Cu�dese la espalda.

8. Lamente sus p�rdidas, y aprenda a tener nuevos sue�os.

9. Busque el apoyo de otros proveedores de cuidado

10. Defienda sus derechos.

Tomado de la Asociaci�n Nacional de Proveedores de www.nfcacares.org

____________________________________

Alianza de Familias de Intervenci�n Temprana

La EIFA (por sus siglas en ingl�s) es una organizaci�n nacional de miembros

de la familia y afines dedicados a mejorar el programa nacional de

intervenci�n temprana para beb�s y ni�os peque�os con discapacidades y

sus

familias, garantizando la participaci�n significativa de la familia en el

desarrollo de las pol�ticas de la Parte C y su aplicaci�n a nivel

comunitario, estatal y federal. Para obtener m�s informaci�n sobre c�mo

ser

parte de esta alianza vaya a www.eifamilyalliance.org