Autism Parents Say Mom Who Snapped Needed Help

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Autism Parents Say Mom Who Snapped Needed Help

(July 22) -- Kim Stagliano says most people cannot understand what it's like to

raise a child with autism.

" Parents don't sleep, children are not toilet trained. Imagine the infant and

toddler years never ending, " Stagliano, 46, the mother of three girls with

autism, told AOL News in a phone interview. " It's extremely stressful. The world

doesn't understand that. "

Parents of children with autism say the Dallas woman who allegedly killed her

two children because they had the developmental disorder needed help.

" I wish I could convey to you what it is like to raise a child on the [autism]

spectrum who is escaping the house, " Mara LaViola, whose son has autism, told

WFAA Dallas. " You find them on top of your kitchen cabinets. Breaking things.

Throwing things. Most of the time it's because they're trying to communicate and

they're not able to. "

An undated photo from the Irving Police Department shows 30-year-old Saiqa

Akhter.

Irving Police / AP

Police say Saiqa Akhter, a 30-year-old mother of two, told a 911 dispatcher she

killed her children because she couldn't deal with their autism.

But the parents are offering no excuses for Saiqa Akhter, 30, who allegedly

dealt with that stress by killing her 5-year-old son, Zain, and her 2-year-old

daughter, Faryaal.

" Children are not appliances that come with warranties and guarantees, "

Stagliano wrote on her Age of Autism blog Wednesday afternoon. " Some have

autism. " But the Fairfield, County, Ct. mom said she's able to cope because she

has a great support network that she can talk to. " I assume this woman in Dallas

did not have any support network, " she said. " It can be really lonely. "

Akhter allegedly strangled her two children with a wire Monday, then called a

911 dispatcher and calmly confessed to the horrific crime, police say.

" I killed them. I killed both of them, " she can be heard saying on the tape,

according to a report by The Associated Press.

Akhter then told the dispatcher that her children's autism was too much for her

to handle. " I don't want my children to be like that, " she said. " I want normal

kids. "

Akhter's family says the stay-at-home mother suffered from mental illness and

depression. " When I talked to her she talked to herself, " her uncle, Wasimul

Haque, told CBS 11/TXA 21 in Dallas. " She says, 'I don't kill my babies. Some

invisible force killed this baby.' "

Parents of children with autism, though, say Akhter may have also been

overwhelmed. Raising kids with autism -- which affects a child's development of

social and communication skills -- can be a frustrating, lonely, exhausting

experience, they say.

" I think everybody failed this woman, and I'm not excusing her actions by any

means, " Nagla Moussa, president of the National Autism Association of North

Texas, told The Dallas Morning News. " But even for the most capable, strongest

character, two children with autism, it's a catastrophe. It's overwhelming. "

Stagliano, the author of " All I Can Handle, " a book about the trials and

tribulations of raising children with autism, which will be published in

November, was less sympathetic. She says she's been driven to desperate acts to

deal with her daughters' disorder, but never once thought about hurting them.

" I've shoved into the garage and slammed the door on her at 2 o'clock in

the morning when she would not stop screaming. ... It was the safe thing to do

for both of us, " she wrote.

" I've left Mia wracked with the finale of a stream of seizures, postictal [a

recovery state] on the bed and stepped into a steaming shower to sob and shake

and scream. ... Never in my darkest hour (and I've had many of them, I promise

you) have I ever been driven to such rage (or despair) that murder crossed my

mind. Not them. Not myself. Never. "

Akhter has been charged with one count of capital murder in the death of her son

and is expected to be charged with a second count in the death of her daughter.