Ex-Sox pitcher’s wife talks about approaching the school year with a special needs child

[Guest guest]

SHONDA SCHILLING | G Force

Making her own pitch

Ex-Sox pitcher’s wife talks about approaching the school year with a special

needs child

Q. You and your husband, retired Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling, have a son

with Asperger’s syndrome, which is on the autism spectrum, and you wrote a book

about it earlier this year, “The Best Kind of Different.’’ September is a

stressful time of year for every parent, but more so for the parent of a special

needs child.

A. For my son, Asperger’s is all about routine. The beginning of the year is

anything but that. It’s a new classroom, a new teacher, the work gets harder,

they expect you to be more organized. That first month for [his teacher] and us

is finding out what kind of things he’s going to need from her, and getting him

on a routine.

Q. Grant, the third of your four children, is now nearly 11 and beginning the

fifth grade. What are your concerns for him this year?

A. My fear is how he’s going to be perceived [by peers]. We’re trying to teach

him how to communicate with the kids his own age without over-talking them.

Fifth grade is the time when they start to split off into their groups — who’s

cool and who’s not. [Normally,] you send your kids to school, they just go in

and make friends. It’s much more complicated for Grant.

Q. What advice do you have for parents whose children are having trouble

adjusting to the new school year?

A. I think the important part is just to make sure that you try to have a

communication with the child and with the teacher, and keep that communication

open. I think a lot of times, if you do it with the right approach, a teacher is

more than happy to help you with your child. They’re doing the best that they

can, and when you go in with [the attitude] “You’re going to do this for my

child,’’ I think you don’t always benefit your child.

Q. What else do you want people to take away from your book?

A. There is no perfect family and no typical child. If we realize that every

family has their own issues, we might be a little nicer to one another.

Everybody would’ve thought that we had [a perfect family]. I’m very honest about

what it’s like to feel like I needed to raise a perfect child.

Q. How did you overcome that perfectionism?

A. When I realized there was no “perfect’’ and I could say it instead of just

pretending it was true. . . . That your kids are happy is far more important.

KAREN WEINTRAUB

This interview has been edited and condensed.