Potty Training Problems

[Guest guest]

My son is three and a half years old and I am having an impossible time

potty training him. I am interested in hearing if this is a problem others have

also encountered with their children. I am also desperate to learn strategies

to move this process along ( is my third child and the two older ones - a

girl and a boy - had little trouble and were both potty trained fully by two and

a half)

A little background-

We are an American family, currently living abroad in Switzerland. is

the third of four children. I suspected language delays early and started

researching anglo-speaking speech therapists shortly after he turned two years

old. This past spring and over the summer I had him evaluated both in

Switzerland and in the US - his diagnosis is " severe speech production disorder

comprised primarily of a phonological disorder and secondarily of dysarthria.

Possible childhood apraxia of speech. "

We started a regimen of fish oils shortly after I read " The Late Talker "

(September 2009) - one Efalex a day / two capsules of Nordic Naturals EFA - per

day.

After a tremendous hassle of figuring out how to get the Nutriiveda in hand, we

started on one scoop a day last Sunday.

He has been making steady progress. We observed surges with the fish oils and a

big surge with the Nutriivida as well. I have been following everyone else's

posts very carefully and will add my comments to the survey once it is

circulated.

attends an English speaking private international school where he is

able to receive speech 4x a week. I worked hard to get him into this school,

however, from the start he was meant to be potty trained. I tried in vain

during August, but he was not yet three and it was going no where so I gave up

and struck a deal with his teachers that he would wear a pull up and if he had a

bowel movement - I would go in to change it. I have been on call since

September and frequently am called to go in to school to clean him up.

Now that he is three and a half, the teachers are insisting he need to be potty

trained or he should stay home. I spent the month of December fully focused on

it and once again did not get anywhere.

I am determined to figure this out as he needs to attend this particular school

as it is the only place in our area that is English speaking and where he can

receive speech therapy which I think is truly the critical component to his

continued language improvement and social awareness/interaction etc..

Any advice will be warmly welcomed. Thank you!

[Guest guest]

,

First, I am sympathetic.  My son Ethan is 4 1/2 and we have only recently been

able to get him to use the potty to urniate.  I have an older son who like your

other children was trained before 3.  We tried to use encouragement from his

older brother but that was of minimal help.  Many of his teachers/therapists

keep telling us to put him in underwear because he will so hate being messy

that he will learn.  I don't know what it is but that has not worked with

Ethan.  ly, the best strategy has been " threats. "   In other words, you

want to play with your trains, you need to go potty first.  You want to go out

in the snow, potty first.  I just sit there in the bathroom with him until he

goes.  There was and still is some crying but Ethan has been more cooperative

of late.  I know from reading other posts here that people have had to resort

to taking favorite toys away to convince their children to use the potty.  One

caveat:  This has not

worked with BMs.  While I can take him to the potty periodically to urnite (he

does not tell me when he has to go), the BMs are harder to predict and we have

had only minimal success getting him to use the potty for that.

Other thoughts:  I noticed a big change in Ethan's maturity when he hit 4 and I

think he is just more ready for this challenge.  I may be making excuses for

him but I feel like he has so many other things to deal with that the potty

becomes overwhelming.  He has been in speech and OT since 2 1/2 and he takes

fish oils every day.  He has made such improvements over time and is now

speaking in complete sentences.  I would say that he is understood by me 100%

of the time and by strangers 70-80%.  He is not always responsive to questions

posed in a group environment but is becoming more willing to share.  He has a

very engaging but stubborn personality so that may contribute to his resistance.

I know that this is of minimal comfort when the school is being so insistent. 

I wish you the best.

Bernadette

________________________________

From: <michelleleone@...>

Sent: Wed, March 3, 2010 9:16:18 AM

Subject: [ ] Potty Training Problems

 

My son is three and a half years old and I am having an impossible time

potty training him. I am interested in hearing if this is a problem others have

also encountered with their children. I am also desperate to learn strategies to

move this process along ( is my third child and the two older ones - a

girl and a boy - had little trouble and were both potty trained fully by two and

a half)

A little background-

We are an American family, currently living abroad in Switzerland. is

the third of four children. I suspected language delays early and started

researching anglo-speaking speech therapists shortly after he turned two years

old. This past spring and over the summer I had him evaluated both in

Switzerland and in the US - his diagnosis is " severe speech production disorder

comprised primarily of a phonological disorder and secondarily of dysarthria.

Possible childhood apraxia of speech. "

We started a regimen of fish oils shortly after I read " The Late Talker "

(September 2009) - one Efalex a day / two capsules of Nordic Naturals EFA - per

day.

After a tremendous hassle of figuring out how to get the Nutriiveda in hand, we

started on one scoop a day last Sunday.

He has been making steady progress. We observed surges with the fish oils and a

big surge with the Nutriivida as well. I have been following everyone else's

posts very carefully and will add my comments to the survey once it is

circulated.

attends an English speaking private international school where he is

able to receive speech 4x a week. I worked hard to get him into this school,

however, from the start he was meant to be potty trained. I tried in vain during

August, but he was not yet three and it was going no where so I gave up and

struck a deal with his teachers that he would wear a pull up and if he had a

bowel movement - I would go in to change it. I have been on call since September

and frequently am called to go in to school to clean him up.

Now that he is three and a half, the teachers are insisting he need to be potty

trained or he should stay home. I spent the month of December fully focused on

it and once again did not get anywhere.

I am determined to figure this out as he needs to attend this particular school

as it is the only place in our area that is English speaking and where he can

receive speech therapy which I think is truly the critical component to his

continued language improvement and social awareness/interacti on etc..

Any advice will be warmly welcomed. Thank you!

[Guest guest]

we didnt necessarily have huge problems wity potty training, but we had to jump

through hoops to figure out a reward system that worked. he is VERY stubborn,

independant, and preferred not to be bothered... candy. he got 2 m & m's every

time he used the potty. we tried the treat box with trinkets, stickers and mini

sized candies, but he only went for the candy. i wasnt okay with him getting a

whole mini candy bar every time he went sooooo m & m's it was!

we had tried a couple of times before he was really ready hoping it would click,

but it just doesnt until the time is right. I agree with whom ever said that it

is a lot of added pressure on a child that already is under pressure to perform

(ie: speech)we waited until it was warm out and let him run outside in his swim

trunks. every time he saw the trickle down the driveway you could hear him say

" uh oh " and then he couldnt move! lets just say he had lots of swim trunks! my

thought would be to give him 2 weeks and try again for a day or 2. everything

will happen in time... my thoughts are with you

[Guest guest]

How long is his preschool? When you say you frequently have to go in & change

him b/c of a BM - I'm wondering if he has a medical issue going on? Does he have

a BM at the same time everyday & it just happens to fall when he's at preschool?

How many times a day is he having a BM?

Does he have any constipation issues or diarrhea?

Honestly, I'd let him go naked around the house for as long as it takes (granted

there are no medical issues) & get 2 potty's to put out in your home - when you

see him start to go, gently say " oh, lets go to the potty " & walk him over to

it. He might need that time to be naked & actually learn the feeling of needing

to potty & then seeing the potty come out of his body to get the connection.

Just a thought.

[Guest guest]

I'm sure you've read a lot of posts about this aready, but thought I'd share my

son's experience as well. When he turned 3 (Jan bday), he had no interest in the

potty, but I was determined that he needed to use the potty. He could stay dry

during naps and sometimes at night, he would tell you when he was wet/poopy. So

I put him in underwear and he peed through 5 pairs w/in a few hours (interesting

since when in diapers he'd stay dry for a long time). So I stopped and tried

again in late March. I started using a sticker chart and once he filled up the

chart he earned these awesome fireman rain boots. Again I put him in underwear

(b/c in my opinion pull ups are a waste, yes it allows them to pull up their own

" pants " but they don't feel the wetness), he only had a few pee accidents. We

still had to work on the poop issues, so I bought the firmean rain coat to match

the boots. After shwoing him how to clean up after he pooped, when he pooped in

his pants, I made him strip and clean himself up. That worked! He quickly

realized it was easier topoop in the potty, tehn having to stop and clean

everything up when he pooped in his pants. He wasn't ready when I thought he

should be, but we waited a few months and with some prompting (bribes) he did

it.

My oldest daughter, refused to poop in the potty for a month after she started

using the potty to pee, she'd ask for a pull up, go off behind the chair, poop

then ask to be changed. I gave her a month, then told her now she'd have to

clean herself up, that's all it took.

YOu could also try a picture schedule (I've used the Boardmaker to make the

pics. Try having pics of pee and poop - this works w/ certain kids who think

everytime they see a " poop " pic they should have to poop, so they are constantly

sitting and straining). Watching other kids go potty is helpful too.

Good luck,

Bonnie

[Guest guest]

I have not yet tried it, but my daughter is 4 and I'm so sick of spending hte

money on diapers/pull ups and really want her potty trained.  She may not yet be

ready, but hopefully by summer we can test it out.  I talked to a girlfriend of

mine who has a son on the Autism Spectrum and what she did to get him potty

trained (he is 3) was the following:

for 2 days she stayed home with him, and set a timer for 30 mins. Every 30 mins

they would go sit on the potty until he finally understood what to do.  She said

it took 2 days for him to grasp it and he was then peeing on the potty and

tellign her when he had to go.  Poop was another story, he would not poop on the

potty.  So she spent an ENTIRE day in the bathroom with him.  They had DVDs,

games, books, etc. and even ate in the bathroom until he FINALLY Pooped on the

potty.  He is 3 years old and now is diaper free.

I " M SO JEALOUS!  But, i'm going to try the cloth panties this summer when she

is out of school and have my nanny do what my friend did.  Every 30 mins, on the

potty until she gets it.  Our problem is that our daughter is not verbal - so if

she has to go potty we need to figure out a way for her to tell us.  That will

be one of the hardest parts in all of this, b/c of her apraxia she can't

verbalize it and signing has been very hard for her.  Anyone have any thoughts

on that?

  Cristal

gtzellner@...

[Guest guest]

Oh my gosh! Thank you for this. My son is almost 3 and I have visions of him

wearing Depends as an adult cause he refuses to go to the potty. I will try this

this weekend for sure. I hope it goes well. I am so sick and tired of buying

diapers all the time.

________________________________

From: Cristal <gtzellner@...>

Sent: Tue, March 9, 2010 9:54:06 AM

Subject: [ ] RE: potty training problems

I have not yet tried it, but my daughter is 4 and I'm so sick of spending hte

money on diapers/pull ups and really want her potty trained. She may not yet be

ready, but hopefully by summer we can test it out. I talked to a girlfriend of

mine who has a son on the Autism Spectrum and what she did to get him potty

trained (he is 3) was the following:

for 2 days she stayed home with him, and set a timer for 30 mins. Every 30 mins

they would go sit on the potty until he finally understood what to do. She said

it took 2 days for him to grasp it and he was then peeing on the potty and

tellign her when he had to go. Poop was another story, he would not poop on the

potty. So she spent an ENTIRE day in the bathroom with him. They had DVDs,

games, books, etc. and even ate in the bathroom until he FINALLY Pooped on the

potty. He is 3 years old and now is diaper free.

I " M SO JEALOUS! But, i'm going to try the cloth panties this summer when she is

out of school and have my nanny do what my friend did. Every 30 mins, on the

potty until she gets it. Our problem is that our daughter is not verbal - so if

she has to go potty we need to figure out a way for her to tell us. That will

be one of the hardest parts in all of this, b/c of her apraxia she can't

verbalize it and signing has been very hard for her. Anyone have any thoughts

on that?

Cristal

gtzellner (DOT) com

[Guest guest]

actually,what you think is the hardest part, is the easiest.  Just go on-line

and google " free pecs pictures " and print out the potty one.  I used velcro to

make a strip of potty, pull up pants, wash hands.

when your daughter needs to go, she just hands you the potty pecs.  We used it

at home, as well as at school because my son in grade 2 only had about 2 words.

But he did well with the pecs at school and he also did well at home with both

pecs and sign. 

________________________________

From: Cristal <gtzellner@...>

Sent: Tue, March 9, 2010 9:54:06 AM

Subject: [ ] RE: potty training problems

 

I have not yet tried it, but my daughter is 4 and I'm so sick of spending hte

money on diapers/pull ups and really want her potty trained.  She may not yet

be ready, but hopefully by summer we can test it out.  I talked to a girlfriend

of mine who has a son on the Autism Spectrum and what she did to get him

potty trained (he is 3) was the following:

for 2 days she stayed home with him, and set a timer for 30 mins. Every 30 mins

they would go sit on the potty until he finally understood what to do.  She

said it took 2 days for him to grasp it and he was then peeing on the potty and

tellign her when he had to go.  Poop was another story, he would not poop on

the potty.  So she spent an ENTIRE day in the bathroom with him.  They had

DVDs, games, books, etc. and even ate in the bathroom until he FINALLY Pooped

on the potty.  He is 3 years old and now is diaper free.

I " M SO JEALOUS!  But, i'm going to try the cloth panties this summer when she

is out of school and have my nanny do what my friend did.  Every 30 mins, on

the potty until she gets it.  Our problem is that our daughter is not verbal -

so if she has to go potty we need to figure out a way for her to tell us.  That

will be one of the hardest parts in all of this, b/c of her apraxia she can't

verbalize it and signing has been very hard for her.  Anyone have any thoughts

on that?

  Cristal

gtzellner (DOT) com

__________________________________________________________________

The new Internet Explorer® 8 - Faster, safer, easier. Optimized for

Get it Now for Free! at http://downloads./ca/internetexplorer/

[Guest guest]

thats how my daughter got trained--just after 5yrs old. Her K teachers set a

timer for 45minutes. After a couple accidents, they lowered it to 30minutes. She

was very non-verbal at the time. During EI--our very smart SLP suggested we not

use the T sign for her name (Tara) so that it can be used for her Potty sign

when she was ready! So we came up with another sign for her name. So in K..it

was easy to introduce the T sign for potty. It worked great! If you're using

sign--than try that. Even though she was non-verbal--the signing was a way for

her to tell them she had to go. They started in Sept and by Christmas of that

year--she was just about trained!!

> ________________________________

> From: Cristal <gtzellner@...>

>

> Sent: Tue, March 9, 2010 9:54:06 AM

> Subject: [ ] RE: potty training problems

>

>  

> I have not yet tried it, but my daughter is 4 and I'm so sick of spending hte

money on diapers/pull ups and really want her potty trained.  She may not yet

be ready, but hopefully by summer we can test it out.  I talked to a girlfriend

of mine who has a son on the Autism Spectrum and what she did to get him

potty trained (he is 3) was the following:

>

> for 2 days she stayed home with him, and set a timer for 30 mins. Every 30

mins they would go sit on the potty until he finally understood what to do. 

She said it took 2 days for him to grasp it and he was then peeing on the potty

and tellign her when he had to go.  Poop was another story, he would not poop

on the potty.  So she spent an ENTIRE day in the bathroom with him.  They had

DVDs, games, books, etc. and even ate in the bathroom until he FINALLY Pooped

on the potty.  He is 3 years old and now is diaper free.

>

> I " M SO JEALOUS!  But, i'm going to try the cloth panties this summer when she

is out of school and have my nanny do what my friend did.  Every 30 mins, on

the potty until she gets it.  Our problem is that our daughter is not verbal -

so if she has to go potty we need to figure out a way for her to tell us.  That

will be one of the hardest parts in all of this, b/c of her apraxia she can't

verbalize it and signing has been very hard for her.  Anyone have any thoughts

on that?

>   Cristal

> gtzellner (DOT) com

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________________________

> The new Internet Explorer® 8 - Faster, safer, easier. Optimized for

Get it Now for Free! at http://downloads./ca/internetexplorer/

>

>

[Guest guest]

THank you guys for all of the suggestions.. I think for her right now - the PEC

pictures are a great idea.  When we start the process I will totally make sur

ewe have that!  Until then I will see if we can at least start getting her used

to it!  THanks so much!  Anyone who tries this let me know how it goes!  When we

do it this summer I'll keep you updated!

  Cristal

gtzellner@...

[Guest guest]

Three is way too early to panic. My daughter is neurotypical, and she

was potty trained at 2 - 2.5. My son is high functioning ASD, and was

almost five. We tried many things with him before that, but it seemed to

be more about him being ready to do it himself. We did the 30 minute

timer, which worked, but failed again once we went off it. Potty

training seems to be mostly about them recognizing the sensation of

having to go, and secondly caring about going on the potty. Boys are

notorious for not caring. The thing that seemed to push him the most was

when he noticed other boys his age wearing big-boy under....with batman,

spiderman, etc....

good luck!

-jimk

a delamadrid wrote:

>

>

> Oh my gosh! Thank you for this. My son is almost 3 and I have visions

> of him wearing Depends as an adult cause he refuses to go to the

> potty. I will try this this weekend for sure. I hope it goes well. I

> am so sick and tired of buying diapers all the time.

>

[Guest guest]

Also remember that a child's tone (esp if low) has an impact on potty

training. If a child has low tone, he/she may not be able to feel the urge

to go. Low tone can affect the entire body.not just the face. So, I agree.

3yrs is not reason to panic for potty training when a child has low tone,

apraxia, and/or autism, etc.

Warmest wishes,

Barbara

Barbara A. , M.S., CCC-SLP

Executive Director/ Help Me Speak, LLC

<http://www.helpmespeak.com/> http://www.helpmespeak.com

(o) 410-442-9791 (f) 410-442-9783

2500 Wallington Way; Suite 103

Marriottsville, MD 21104

follow us on FaceBook:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Marriottsville-MD/Help-Me-Speak-LLC/1046288520

32

Call me with any questions about NutriiVeda! www.hms.myzrii.com

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Kavitsky

Sent: Wednesday, March 10, 2010 10:09 PM

Subject: Re: [ ] RE: potty training problems

Three is way too early to panic. My daughter is neurotypical, and she

was potty trained at 2 - 2.5. My son is high functioning ASD, and was

almost five. We tried many things with him before that, but it seemed to

be more about him being ready to do it himself. We did the 30 minute

timer, which worked, but failed again once we went off it. Potty

training seems to be mostly about them recognizing the sensation of

having to go, and secondly caring about going on the potty. Boys are

notorious for not caring. The thing that seemed to push him the most was

when he noticed other boys his age wearing big-boy under....with batman,

spiderman, etc....

good luck!

-jimk

a delamadrid wrote:

>

>

> Oh my gosh! Thank you for this. My son is almost 3 and I have visions

> of him wearing Depends as an adult cause he refuses to go to the

> potty. I will try this this weekend for sure. I hope it goes well. I

> am so sick and tired of buying diapers all the time.

>

[Guest guest]

a funny side note to this situation about the " underwear " .  My son was 5 1/2

when he finally trained.

He trained in one day, day and night, poop and all.  When he put the underwear

on, he would put it

on backwards so he could see batman and spiderman.  Got me thinking...why do

they put them on the

behind?  So my guy for a couple of years would wear his underwear backwards!

And hey, at least

he was wearing underwear and not diapers still so i didn't care how he wore

them!!!

________________________________

[Guest guest]

I haven't really had much to say in this group for a while, but I do like to

peak in and see what is going on. If you read the book The Remarkable

Nutritional Treatment for ADHD, Dyslexia, and Dyspraxia: the LCP Solution by B.

Stordy, the discuss that fact that often times late toileting issues

are related to a vitamin E deficiency. My child with global dyspraxia was

almost 4 before she was potty trained. I did not know this at the time. We now

have her on Vitamin E, and helps her speak much more clearly also. If you have

these types of issues, you might read the book. Great information.

Good Luck,

Mom to Annie 14

> >

> >

> > Oh my gosh! Thank you for this. My son is almost 3 and I have visions

> > of him wearing Depends as an adult cause he refuses to go to the

> > potty. I will try this this weekend for sure. I hope it goes well. I

> > am so sick and tired of buying diapers all the time.

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>