Guest guest Posted December 8, 2000 Report Share Posted December 8, 2000 o ian, sounds great!!!keep up the great work, and you too rose!!! sounds like everyone has been working hard. shawna Ian's progress > Hi everyone, > > I haven't written much lately, because between work and holiday preparations > and Ian's issues, we've been rather overwhelmed. But there is light at the > ends of each of these tunnels, and I'm happy to report that things are > improving on the Ian front. > > Here's some background. You may remember that over the summer, we were > having major problems with Ian -- running away, acting up at camp, sexual > aggression (pulling up his teacher's skirt). We were referred to a crisis > intervention service, which worked with us very little (the person assigned > to us was leaving for another job, and did what she could, but really wanted > our file closed so she could leave nothing undone). School started, and we > continued to have issues, and one day Ian's behavior was so violent that the > teacher had to call us to pick him up. We were referred back to the crisis > intervention service, and got a new person, who has helped us immeasurably. > > Let me pause for a moment to suggest this course to anyone who needs > immediate assistance. I didn't even know this service existed here, and it > might exist where you live. Ask your service coordinator or pediatrician or > teacher. > > Over the past two months, we've met regularly with this crisis counselor. > He has suggested ways to handle the running away behavior, which worked > wonderfully (now, it's not an issue because Ian doesn't run away in the > winter since it's too cold). Here's what he suggested: no punishment, just > very calmly going out to retrieve him. Give him a moment to come back on > his own if he wants to, keep him in sight but don't follow him, when I do go > get him, don't show I'm upset at all, just bring him home. The theory was > that if he knew we were upset or that he'd be punished, he'd be less likely > to come home. > > Here's another problem we had: getting Ian ready for school and out the > door. Ian was dawdling on purpose, his aim was to get me to drive him to > school. He refused to get dressed, refused to eat his oatmeal, refused to > get his coat on. We did a few things here. First, we had trouble with the > bus, which would pull up honking, and leave after a minute. When we called > to ask why we weren't getting the three minutes we used to get, we were told > the policy was that if the child wasn't visible when the bus pulled up, the > bus driver could just keep going, and that we were getting special > consideration when she was waiting for that minute. Well, that wouldn't do > for us. We explained that a)Ian couldn't wear his coat etc. before the bus > came because he would get overheated waiting in the house and then take > everything off, and b)Ian couldn't wait outside for the bus because he might > run off, and he wouldn't let one of us wait outside with him. We thought > we'd have to write it into his IEP, but things worked out so that now he has > his three minutes to get his outerwear on. > > But getting him to that point was a problem too. So we came up with reward > system. If Ian has a good morning -- that is, gets dressed on his own, eats > his breakfast in a timely way, doesn't balk at getting his coat etc. on, > doesn't give us a hard time about what he's bringing to school -- he gets a > ticket that says " I had a good morning! " He brings this to school to give > to his teacher, and when he brings three of them, he gets a book. I went to > a used bookstore and bought a bunch of them for the teacher to give to him. > Eventually, I'd like to stretch this to five, so that the reward system > doesn't wear itself out (as in, " I got a book three days ago, doesn't really > matter if I behave now or not " ). > > So far, so good. This morning he got his first ticket, and he was so > excited, he punched the air and said " Yeah! " First time I've ever seen him > do this. > > His teacher has a contract with him at school, but I'm not sure of the > details of it. It has a reward system as well, and is longer-stretched -- I > think three weeks. It's been working very well, so that we've had NO > problems at school for at least a month, probably longer. I love getting > " Ian had a good day at school " notes in his notebook. > > Things aren't perfect, of course. We still have inflexibility issues, but > if the morning ceases to be a problem, we'll move on to those. And Ian has > been clearing his place at the dinner table without being asked, which is a > big step for him. We're seeing definite improvement here, and I'm very > grateful for that. > > How's that, Joan? Is that the kind of post you've wanted? > > CK, > Mom to Ian (2/89), > (9/90), > and Rose (6/94) > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 9, 2000 Report Share Posted December 9, 2000 ck, MAJOR HIP HIP HOORAY for you and ian.. :-)that is so good that he is able to get through the morning on his own and to feel the reward. i am so happy for you and i am sure its easier on the other siblings too if your not spending all your time on ian. you can divide your time equally.. and about the running off, that is fabulous and makes perfect sense. : my own five year old says he likes it better when ashton has good mornings so i can be his helper too. i have noticed him regressing in the way, he forgot to tie his shoes, he needs help with his pants, ect.... i think he wants the attention too... but she is doing good now, so i am able to help him too.... take care, leah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 9, 2000 Report Share Posted December 9, 2000 In a message dated 12/8/00 4:12:27 PM Eastern Standard Time, gsgreen@... writes: << > Things aren't perfect, of course. We still have inflexibility issues, but > if the morning ceases to be a problem, we'll move on to those. And Ian has > been clearing his place at the dinner table without being asked, which is a > big step for him. We're seeing definite improvement here, and I'm very > grateful for that. >> AWESOME CK!!! This is fabulous news. I am so very happy for you!!! What a great Christmas present!!! Donna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 24, 2002 Report Share Posted May 24, 2002 Ian, what a change. Congratulations !!! I salute you for your steadfastness in the new life style. It is not easy. Do you, or anyone else, have any suggestions for staying with the program ? I get started and after a few days seem to end up in a place where I just give up. I, almost 70, think I need to enlist my daughter's help; having her on the program would certainly make it easier to stay with it. So far, enlisting her has not been successful. Stay with it, Ian, and everyone else out there, too. I have no doubt but that it is the way to go for a long, happy life. Ruth P. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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