NYT Article: A Parent’s Struggle With a Child’s iPad Addiction

[Guest guest]

(since this is coming up so much here

February 24, 2011, 1:06 pm

A Parent's Struggle With a Child's iPad Addiction

I think my 6-year-old is addicted to the iPad.

He asks for it constantly. He wants to use it in the car. He wants to use it at

every unscheduled moment at home. He brings it to the dinner table.

When I tell him it's time to shut off the iPad and head up to bed, or put his

shoes on, or head out to the bus, he doesn't hear me the first three times I

ask. Sometimes, he gets bizarrely upset when I say I have to take it away now —

out-of-character upset. That's what makes me think he's addicted.

And trust me — having read The New York Times series on the physiological

effects of electronics on young minds, I'm plenty worried.

FDDP

The Times's technology columnist, Pogue, keeps you on top of the industry

in his free, weekly e-mail newsletter.

Sign up | See Sample

Now, before you begin sending the volleys of " bad parent " e-mails, let me

reassure you: I've described what my son wants, not what he gets. We do have

policies. The rule for my three kids is: no electronics on school days except

what you actually need for schoolwork. No gadgets at mealtime or bedtime.

Gadgets are O.K. when you're home sick or in the car for long trips.

My older two kids manage to stick with those rules (mostly). My youngest,

though, asks for that darned iPad constantly.

And I'll be straight with you: I generally enforce the rule, but sometimes it's

tough. Because, let's face it: When he's on the iPad, he's happy. He's quiet.

He's engaged. And in this family, the two older siblings form a tween bloc (my

oldest are 13 and almost 12), and then there's a big age gap. So it can be hard

to find activities, games or conversations that involve all three

simultaneously.

The iPad is a magic electronic babysitter that creates instant peace in the

household. If you told me you'd never, even occasionally, be tempted to hand it

over, I'd say I doubt you.

What makes my feelings on this subject even more complicated is that, in

general, my 6-year-old isn't playing mindless video games. He's not allowed to

play shoot-`em-ups or violent games at all. Instead, he's encouraged to play

creative apps — and most of the time, he does.

He spends hours, for example, playing with Puppet Pals, an amazing free app that

lets you create animated cartoons. You choose a backdrop — say, the Wild West,

or a pirate ship. Then you drag cutout characters around with your fingers; you

can move them left, right, up, down, or forward and backward (they get smaller

when you move them farther away). You provide the dialogue yourself. The app

records everything you do, both audio and character motions. Later, you can play

back the whole thing for your proud papa. Yes, my 6-year-old is creating his own

animated shorts.

He also loves EasyBeats, a music app where you lay down one instrument track at

a time, as the four-measure pattern loops over and over. He builds complex

rhythms, one layer at a time.

Come on, how can apps like that be bad for a kid? Is it really that much

different from playing with paper cutouts? Or blocks? Or a toy drum set?

When he does play games, he favors thinking games like Cut the Rope (a clever

physics-based puzzle game) or Rush Hour (strategy puzzles). Heck, even Angry

Birds involves some thinking. You have to plan ahead and calculate and use

resources wisely.

In the old days, we used to tut-tut about how much TV kids watched — but parents

usually made an exception for educational shows like " Sesame Street " and

" Between the Lions. " How is this any different? Shouldn't we make exceptions for

creative and problem-solving apps?

In other words, I'm doing a lot of thinking lately. Is a gadget automatically

bad for our children just because it's electronic? What if it's fostering a love

of music, an affinity for theater and expertise in strategy and problem-solving?

Is it a bad thing for a kid to be so much in love with mental exercises? Am I

really being a good parent by yanking THAT away?

For now, I'm trying to live by the mantra, " Moderation in all things. " As long

as iPad use is part of a balanced diet of more physical play and non-electronic

activities, I think my little guy will probably be O.K.

But I'd love to hear your (non-judgmental) thoughts in the comments.

http://pogue.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/02/24/a-parents-struggle-with-a-childs-ipad-\

addiction/?src=tptw

=====

[Guest guest]

I thought I'd just post my comment here instead of registering and replying

Directly to the blog.

As with any activity that is fun to my son, the key to not having a meltdown is

prior warning. For example, I would tell him " 5 minutes, then we need to get

dressed for school " I would then repeat this every minute until time is up. We

do this for everything and I'm still amazed that it works.

It was a tip from a behavior therapist that works exceedingly well for us at

home as well as school. We even bought a timer that visually shows how much

time he has left on a preferred activity and since my son is really, really

visual.

I know my son loves the iPad but we aren't at addicted level!!!!! (I'm another

story!)

>

> (since this is coming up so much here

>

> February 24, 2011, 1:06 pm

> A Parent's Struggle With a Child's iPad Addiction

>

> I think my 6-year-old is addicted to the iPad.

>

> He asks for it constantly. He wants to use it in the car. He wants to use it

at every unscheduled moment at home. He brings it to the dinner table.

>

> When I tell him it's time to shut off the iPad and head up to bed, or put his

shoes on, or head out to the bus, he doesn't hear me the first three times I

ask. Sometimes, he gets bizarrely upset when I say I have to take it away now —

out-of-character upset. That's what makes me think he's addicted.

>

> And trust me — having read The New York Times series on the physiological

effects of electronics on young minds, I'm plenty worried.

> FDDP

> The Times's technology columnist, Pogue, keeps you on top of the

industry in his free, weekly e-mail newsletter.

> Sign up | See Sample

>

> Now, before you begin sending the volleys of " bad parent " e-mails, let me

reassure you: I've described what my son wants, not what he gets. We do have

policies. The rule for my three kids is: no electronics on school days except

what you actually need for schoolwork. No gadgets at mealtime or bedtime.

Gadgets are O.K. when you're home sick or in the car for long trips.

>

> My older two kids manage to stick with those rules (mostly). My youngest,

though, asks for that darned iPad constantly.

>

> And I'll be straight with you: I generally enforce the rule, but sometimes

it's tough. Because, let's face it: When he's on the iPad, he's happy. He's

quiet. He's engaged. And in this family, the two older siblings form a tween

bloc (my oldest are 13 and almost 12), and then there's a big age gap. So it can

be hard to find activities, games or conversations that involve all three

simultaneously.

>

> The iPad is a magic electronic babysitter that creates instant peace in the

household. If you told me you'd never, even occasionally, be tempted to hand it

over, I'd say I doubt you.

>

> What makes my feelings on this subject even more complicated is that, in

general, my 6-year-old isn't playing mindless video games. He's not allowed to

play shoot-`em-ups or violent games at all. Instead, he's encouraged to play

creative apps — and most of the time, he does.

>

> He spends hours, for example, playing with Puppet Pals, an amazing free app

that lets you create animated cartoons. You choose a backdrop — say, the Wild

West, or a pirate ship. Then you drag cutout characters around with your

fingers; you can move them left, right, up, down, or forward and backward (they

get smaller when you move them farther away). You provide the dialogue yourself.

The app records everything you do, both audio and character motions. Later, you

can play back the whole thing for your proud papa. Yes, my 6-year-old is

creating his own animated shorts.

>

> He also loves EasyBeats, a music app where you lay down one instrument track

at a time, as the four-measure pattern loops over and over. He builds complex

rhythms, one layer at a time.

>

> Come on, how can apps like that be bad for a kid? Is it really that much

different from playing with paper cutouts? Or blocks? Or a toy drum set?

>

> When he does play games, he favors thinking games like Cut the Rope (a clever

physics-based puzzle game) or Rush Hour (strategy puzzles). Heck, even Angry

Birds involves some thinking. You have to plan ahead and calculate and use

resources wisely.

>

> In the old days, we used to tut-tut about how much TV kids watched — but

parents usually made an exception for educational shows like " Sesame Street " and

" Between the Lions. " How is this any different? Shouldn't we make exceptions for

creative and problem-solving apps?

>

> In other words, I'm doing a lot of thinking lately. Is a gadget automatically

bad for our children just because it's electronic? What if it's fostering a love

of music, an affinity for theater and expertise in strategy and problem-solving?

Is it a bad thing for a kid to be so much in love with mental exercises? Am I

really being a good parent by yanking THAT away?

>

> For now, I'm trying to live by the mantra, " Moderation in all things. " As long

as iPad use is part of a balanced diet of more physical play and non-electronic

activities, I think my little guy will probably be O.K.

>

> But I'd love to hear your (non-judgmental) thoughts in the comments.

>

http://pogue.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/02/24/a-parents-struggle-with-a-childs-ipad-\

addiction/?src=tptw

>

>

> =====

>