N.J. schools use variety of methods to tackle bullying

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N.J. schools use variety of methods to tackle bullying

Friday, April 1, 2011

The state’s new anti-bullying law will force many schools to rethink the way

they treat bullies and their victims. But there isn’t uniform agreement about

which methods work and which don’t. Here’s a look at how some of the methods are

viewed.

Conflict resolution — Schools often employ the strategy of putting kids who are

having a conflict in a room together with a mediator to talk out their

differences. But advocates for victims say the bully is likely to intimidate the

victim further. One Bergen County mother who asked not to be identified said the

last thing her son would have been able to endure was sitting in a room with the

kids who bullied him. “It would have been torturous for him,” she said. Instead,

her son was home-schooled for a year.

Zero tolerance — Meant to deter all violence, such policies run the risk of

penalizing the victim. One Wayne mother who asked not to be identified said her

son became fed up and shoved one of his bullies, who then punched her son

repeatedly. Both boys ended up suspended when the teacher who witnessed the

scuffle only saw the victim shove the bully, but hadn’t heard the taunts that

preceded it.

Victim counseling — Some advocates say offering social-skills training to

victims can help them learn ways to avoid bullying and to seek help. But others,

including Stuart Green, director of the New Jersey Coalition for Bullying

Awareness and Prevention, caution that such strategies convey the message that

it’s the victim who needs to change behaviors, rather than the bully.

Character building — Many schools are turning to curriculums designed to instill

a culture of mutual respect. With names like “Heroes & Cool Kids,”

“No-Name-Calling Week” and “Random Acts of Kindness Month,” the programs are

meant to teach all students empathy, something that some officials believe to be

in shorter supply in this texting-and-reality-TV-watching generation. The

state’s new anti-bullying law requires public schools to designate the first

week of October as a Week of Respect. But whether these programs can make a

difference depends in large part on what happens the rest of the school year,

Green said.

Changing the culture — Bullies wouldn’t thrive without an audience, and some

experts think the best way to fight bullying is get more kids to speak up for

those being bullied. That means reinforcing a climate inside schools in which

all children feel included. Glen Rock High School, for instance, has a

Gay-Straight Alliance that regularly draws 25 to 30 students to its meetings.

Guidance counselor Dan Brodhead said the challenge is getting the entire

community – including parents, school officials and civic leaders — to support

the message that “It’s OK to be you.” The goal should be acceptance, not merely

tolerance, Brodhead said. “If tolerance is what we’re shooting for, we’re not

shooting high enough.”