LDN

[Guest guest]

Well, I got my blood results from the 2 clinics, and

the variation in cd4 cells was about 200..... I'm

relatively healthy, except my platelet count is very

low, due to the virus they said. I feel fine, but.....

The chemist I get my naltrexone from just grinds down

tablets into a 3mg capsule for me, but they are all

odd and broken differently, which I don't think is the

correct way for it to be taken. SO when I get a bit

more money together I'll phone Dr Bihari and

Apothecure. In the meantime, they have suggested

prednisone to boost the platelets because I refuse to

go on HAART (ABC) drugs. So I am taking vit E too as E

defiency causes thrombocytopenia (low platelet count)

too.

I feel that doctors treat you nicely, but a little

patronizing in that they act like you're not immune

from dis-ease, and they are. Like superior humans or

something. Whereas I feel that because my attention

has turned inwards on what's going on inside my body,

I've come to realize that time is ticking away for all

of us, like cells are dying every second, and to get

on with the main reason I'm alive - to love and

nurture. And on a deeper level than I would have

otherwise known without the virus. Something I feel

people outside our circle are yet to discover, filling

up their lives with deception and ignorance and

delusion etc. Not for one minute would I give up how

diagnosis has altered my mind and awareness. Sure

there have been harrowing valleys, but I always rise

up stronger in the mind when the depressive spell

breaks and i know where to go to with my future, but

most importantly, how to take the first steps towards

a better understood tomorrow.

SO when I go to see a doctor, especially in a viral

setting, I forgive and improvise that we don't see eye

to eye on the subject of my body. I sometimes wonder

if doctors are the biggest group in society who are in

denial that we die and leave our bodies for what comes

next, taking liberties in mentally pushing patients

closer to death with poisonous half cure drugs to

diffuse their own fears. Of course, I'm not talking

about Dr Bihari. Everyhting I have read of him has him

humbly supporting patients to have a quality of life

and believe in themselves and the body and brain. But

the whole medical fraternity that revolves around

money and medications is a bit like Mc's I feel.

Value for money and nutrition to a certain degree, but

a lot of excess too, the fat of toxins and stigmas.

Noone telling you to feel good about yourself.

This has come from an exclusive part of my psyche and

I hope some relate to how I feel.

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