Re: too many play dates & wrong age pairing

[Guest guest]

I can understand how you feel, Liz. I would probably feel the same way. Is

there a way that you could maybe suggest taking turns with the neighbor

kids? Have the younger one come first by himself then the next time have the

older one come, then maybe even the time after that they both come? That way

no one's getting left out yet they all get to play together. Maybe you could

explain to your neighbor that you would like your son to learn to play with

children their ages on a more one on one basis or something like that?

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- ( ) too many play dates & wrong age pairing

I know this isn't a major problem but it's getting awkward. A Mom

several houses down, keeps calling to invite my two sons over for

play dates. Like every day! She sends her kids over daily to ring

our bell (sometimes three & four times a day) and calls our house

every few days to arrange things. She's very nice & I don't want to

hurt her feelings. But she keeps pairing my almost 8 year old AS son

with her 5 yr old son. She has another son who is 9 and a closer age

match for my son. Obviously her 9 year old has told her he's not

interested in being buddies with my son (who by the way is a really

sweet kid) So my son is stuck with the pre-kindergartener. Because

of his AS, I don't think my son cares.....but I do! I feel like

this Mom is pairing them up more for her 5 year old sons

benefit....he's immature & could use an older buddy for a role

model. But my son really doesn't need to be hanging around with

someone several years younger either.

I do have her kids over to play at my house a few times a week. They

play pretty well. I just guess I'm venting because my son is with

the younger boy & this Mom wants them to play way too often for my

taste. How can I get this Mom to back off on getting our kids

together so often?

I know this is wrong but I'd like to exclude the younger boy from

invites to play at our house sometimes and only ask the boy closer in

age to my son. This is the more reasonable pairing anyway. I think

it would be really wrong and I'd never do it but I'm so hurt that my

son is being left out from playing with the kid closer to his age! I

just need to let this Mom know I'm getting weary of her nice but

CONSTANT attempts at this odd age match.

Thanks if you've read all of my rambeling on & on.....

Liz

Houston

[Guest guest]

I think the other Mom likes to ship several kids at a time out of her house

since she has four kids. That's my guess. She doesn't even acknowledge that it

would be possible for our sons who are closer in age to be buddies. She just

puts her pre-k son with my first grader and has declared them best buddies! I

will say her son who's in 2nd grade doesn't seem to show much interest in my 1st

grader so I know I can't force that situation.

I feel so strange bring this up to the other Mom though. I think any way I

put it, she'd feel bad.

I just wish she didn't seem to think our kids need to play together every day

& all weekend long. It's too much for me..........:-)

Liz

Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote:

I can understand how you feel, Liz. I would probably feel the same

way. Is

there a way that you could maybe suggest taking turns with the neighbor

kids? Have the younger one come first by himself then the next time have the

older one come, then maybe even the time after that they both come? That way

no one's getting left out yet they all get to play together. Maybe you could

explain to your neighbor that you would like your son to learn to play with

children their ages on a more one on one basis or something like that?

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- ( ) too many play dates & wrong age pairing

I know this isn't a major problem but it's getting awkward. A Mom

several houses down, keeps calling to invite my two sons over for

play dates. Like every day! She sends her kids over daily to ring

our bell (sometimes three & four times a day) and calls our house

every few days to arrange things. She's very nice & I don't want to

hurt her feelings. But she keeps pairing my almost 8 year old AS son

with her 5 yr old son. She has another son who is 9 and a closer age

match for my son. Obviously her 9 year old has told her he's not

interested in being buddies with my son (who by the way is a really

sweet kid) So my son is stuck with the pre-kindergartener. Because

of his AS, I don't think my son cares.....but I do! I feel like

this Mom is pairing them up more for her 5 year old sons

benefit....he's immature & could use an older buddy for a role

model. But my son really doesn't need to be hanging around with

someone several years younger either.

I do have her kids over to play at my house a few times a week. They

play pretty well. I just guess I'm venting because my son is with

the younger boy & this Mom wants them to play way too often for my

taste. How can I get this Mom to back off on getting our kids

together so often?

I know this is wrong but I'd like to exclude the younger boy from

invites to play at our house sometimes and only ask the boy closer in

age to my son. This is the more reasonable pairing anyway. I think

it would be really wrong and I'd never do it but I'm so hurt that my

son is being left out from playing with the kid closer to his age! I

just need to let this Mom know I'm getting weary of her nice but

CONSTANT attempts at this odd age match.

Thanks if you've read all of my rambeling on & on.....

Liz

Houston

[Guest guest]

Hi, Liz,

I know it's tough, but this woman is too pushy.

Everyday a week, coming by several times a day is way

too much. Sounds like she has no regard for what you

might want or feel. I would simply tell her that you

love having both boys over... and prefer the older to

come since your son is 8 and needs to socialize with

kids closer to his age BUT that you cannot watch them

everyday of the week. A few days a week would be fine.

I'm sure she will be offended, but that's honestly her

problem, not yours.

Or you can just quit answering the door when her kids

come by for a few days! Or tell them when they do that

you guys are busy for the day... several days in a

row.

She will probably take the hint then! It's my guess

that she knows that you are very nice and is taking

advantage of you.

--- Liz S <lizs.1234@...> wrote:

> I think the other Mom likes to ship several kids at

> a time out of her house since she has four kids.

> That's my guess. She doesn't even acknowledge that

> it would be possible for our sons who are closer in

> age to be buddies. She just puts her pre-k son with

> my first grader and has declared them best buddies!

> I will say her son who's in 2nd grade doesn

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[Guest guest]

Stop whining, tell her to get lost if you don't want her there. Think about

this logically too, you have a person who is interested in befriending you, but

also your children. I am sure that your son could use the socialization. If

she seems like she just wants another mother to take care of her kid, then tell

her to get lost.

Dave

Greer <lisalgreer@...> wrote:

Hi, Liz,

I know it's tough, but this woman is too pushy.

Everyday a week, coming by several times a day is way

too much. Sounds like she has no regard for what you

might want or feel. I would simply tell her that you

love having both boys over... and prefer the older to

come since your son is 8 and needs to socialize with

kids closer to his age BUT that you cannot watch them

everyday of the week. A few days a week would be fine.

I'm sure she will be offended, but that's honestly her

problem, not yours.

Or you can just quit answering the door when her kids

come by for a few days! Or tell them when they do that

you guys are busy for the day... several days in a

row.

She will probably take the hint then! It's my guess

that she knows that you are very nice and is taking

advantage of you.

--- Liz S <lizs.1234@...> wrote:

> I think the other Mom likes to ship several kids at

> a time out of her house since she has four kids.

> That's my guess. She doesn't even acknowledge that

> it would be possible for our sons who are closer in

> age to be buddies. She just puts her pre-k son with

> my first grader and has declared them best buddies!

> I will say her son who's in 2nd grade doesn

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[Guest guest]

Stop whining, tell her to get lost if you don't want her there. Think about

this logically too, you have a person who is interested in befriending you, but

also your children. I am sure that your son could use the socialization. If

she seems like she just wants another mother to take care of her kid, then tell

her to get lost.

Dave

Greer <lisalgreer@...> wrote:

Hi, Liz,

I know it's tough, but this woman is too pushy.

Everyday a week, coming by several times a day is way

too much. Sounds like she has no regard for what you

might want or feel. I would simply tell her that you

love having both boys over... and prefer the older to

come since your son is 8 and needs to socialize with

kids closer to his age BUT that you cannot watch them

everyday of the week. A few days a week would be fine.

I'm sure she will be offended, but that's honestly her

problem, not yours.

Or you can just quit answering the door when her kids

come by for a few days! Or tell them when they do that

you guys are busy for the day... several days in a

row.

She will probably take the hint then! It's my guess

that she knows that you are very nice and is taking

advantage of you.

--- Liz S <lizs.1234@...> wrote:

> I think the other Mom likes to ship several kids at

> a time out of her house since she has four kids.

> That's my guess. She doesn't even acknowledge that

> it would be possible for our sons who are closer in

> age to be buddies. She just puts her pre-k son with

> my first grader and has declared them best buddies!

> I will say her son who's in 2nd grade doesn

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[Guest guest]

Stop whining, tell her to get lost if you don't want her there. Think about

this logically too, you have a person who is interested in befriending you, but

also your children. I am sure that your son could use the socialization. If

she seems like she just wants another mother to take care of her kid, then tell

her to get lost.

Dave

Greer <lisalgreer@...> wrote:

Hi, Liz,

I know it's tough, but this woman is too pushy.

Everyday a week, coming by several times a day is way

too much. Sounds like she has no regard for what you

might want or feel. I would simply tell her that you

love having both boys over... and prefer the older to

come since your son is 8 and needs to socialize with

kids closer to his age BUT that you cannot watch them

everyday of the week. A few days a week would be fine.

I'm sure she will be offended, but that's honestly her

problem, not yours.

Or you can just quit answering the door when her kids

come by for a few days! Or tell them when they do that

you guys are busy for the day... several days in a

row.

She will probably take the hint then! It's my guess

that she knows that you are very nice and is taking

advantage of you.

--- Liz S <lizs.1234@...> wrote:

> I think the other Mom likes to ship several kids at

> a time out of her house since she has four kids.

> That's my guess. She doesn't even acknowledge that

> it would be possible for our sons who are closer in

> age to be buddies. She just puts her pre-k son with

> my first grader and has declared them best buddies!

> I will say her son who's in 2nd grade doesn

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[Guest guest]

I haven't been on this site for very long , but I think that

your response was pretty crummy. " Stop Whining " ? I have yet to hear a

person on these boards whine...they are upset, hurting and in need of

help and they come here looking for that help.

>

> > I think the other Mom likes to ship several kids at

> > a time out of her house since she has four kids.

> > That's my guess. She doesn't even acknowledge that

> > it would be possible for our sons who are closer in

> > age to be buddies. She just puts her pre-k son with

> > my first grader and has declared them best buddies!

> > I will say her son who's in 2nd grade doesn

>

> __________________________________________________________

> Never miss an email again!

> Toolbar alerts you the instant new Mail arrives.

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>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

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> (and love to hate): TV's Guilty Pleasures list.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh goodness! She sure is putting you on the spot! It sounds like you're

going to have to have a talk with her even if it makes her feel bad. Maybe

just explain it to her like you said here and just tell her that you're glad

your kids and hers are friends, but you're awfully busy and every day is

just too often and then suggest how many days of the week would be good for

you. Maybe you two can even work out certain days that would be good days

for play dates. Make sure she has her fair share of turns having them at her

place too though so she can't continue to take advantage of your kindness

because honestly, that is what it sounds like she's doing from what I know,

IMO

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- ( ) too many play dates & wrong age pairing

I know this isn't a major problem but it's getting awkward. A Mom

several houses down, keeps calling to invite my two sons over for

play dates. Like every day! She sends her kids over daily to ring

our bell (sometimes three & four times a day) and calls our house

every few days to arrange things. She's very nice & I don't want to

hurt her feelings. But she keeps pairing my almost 8 year old AS son

with her 5 yr old son. She has another son who is 9 and a closer age

match for my son. Obviously her 9 year old has told her he's not

interested in being buddies with my son (who by the way is a really

sweet kid) So my son is stuck with the pre-kindergartener. Because

of his AS, I don't think my son cares.....but I do! I feel like

this Mom is pairing them up more for her 5 year old sons

benefit....he's immature & could use an older buddy for a role

model. But my son really doesn't need to be hanging around with

someone several years younger either.

I do have her kids over to play at my house a few times a week. They

play pretty well. I just guess I'm venting because my son is with

the younger boy & this Mom wants them to play way too often for my

taste. How can I get this Mom to back off on getting our kids

together so often?

I know this is wrong but I'd like to exclude the younger boy from

invites to play at our house sometimes and only ask the boy closer in

age to my son. This is the more reasonable pairing anyway. I think

it would be really wrong and I'd never do it but I'm so hurt that my

son is being left out from playing with the kid closer to his age! I

just need to let this Mom know I'm getting weary of her nice but

CONSTANT attempts at this odd age match.

Thanks if you've read all of my rambeling on & on.....

Liz

Houston

[Guest guest]

Stop whining? That's a bit harsh don't you think?

I don't think she's whining, I think she's being considerate of someone else

s feelings and asking for advice. The world can always use more people who

are so considerate of others' feelings.

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) too many play dates & wrong age pairing

Stop whining, tell her to get lost if you don't want her there. Think about

this logically too, you have a person who is interested in befriending you,

but also your children. I am sure that your son could use the socialization

If she seems like she just wants another mother to take care of her kid,

then tell her to get lost.

Dave

Greer <lisalgreer@...> wrote:

Hi, Liz,

I know it's tough, but this woman is too pushy.

Everyday a week, coming by several times a day is way

too much. Sounds like she has no regard for what you

might want or feel. I would simply tell her that you

love having both boys over... and prefer the older to

come since your son is 8 and needs to socialize with

kids closer to his age BUT that you cannot watch them

everyday of the week. A few days a week would be fine.

I'm sure she will be offended, but that's honestly her

problem, not yours.

Or you can just quit answering the door when her kids

come by for a few days! Or tell them when they do that

you guys are busy for the day... several days in a

row.

She will probably take the hint then! It's my guess

that she knows that you are very nice and is taking

advantage of you.

--- Liz S <lizs.1234@...> wrote:

> I think the other Mom likes to ship several kids at

> a time out of her house since she has four kids.

> That's my guess. She doesn't even acknowledge that

> it would be possible for our sons who are closer in

> age to be buddies. She just puts her pre-k son with

> my first grader and has declared them best buddies!

> I will say her son who's in 2nd grade doesn

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[Guest guest]

Dave,

Wow, that's the first time I've ever gotten a " stop whining " reply to a post!

Ummmmm........thanks Dave?

Liz

PS- I'll think about telling my neighbor " to get lost. " ;-) My son could

definately use the socialization but not so much with a preschooler.

Roehl <droehl1234@...> wrote:

Stop whining, tell her to get lost if you don't want her there. Think

about this logically too, you have a person who is interested in befriending

you, but also your children. I am sure that your son could use the

socialization. If she seems like she just wants another mother to take care of

her kid, then tell her to get lost.

Dave

Greer <lisalgreer@...> wrote:

Hi, Liz,

I know it's tough, but this woman is too pushy.

Everyday a week, coming by several times a day is way

too much. Sounds like she has no regard for what you

might want or feel. I would simply tell her that you

love having both boys over... and prefer the older to

come since your son is 8 and needs to socialize with

kids closer to his age BUT that you cannot watch them

everyday of the week. A few days a week would be fine.

I'm sure she will be offended, but that's honestly her

problem, not yours.

Or you can just quit answering the door when her kids

come by for a few days! Or tell them when they do that

you guys are busy for the day... several days in a

row.

She will probably take the hint then! It's my guess

that she knows that you are very nice and is taking

advantage of you.

--- Liz S <lizs.1234@...> wrote:

> I think the other Mom likes to ship several kids at

> a time out of her house since she has four kids.

> That's my guess. She doesn't even acknowledge that

> it would be possible for our sons who are closer in

> age to be buddies. She just puts her pre-k son with

> my first grader and has declared them best buddies!

> I will say her son who's in 2nd grade doesn

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[Guest guest]

Hi Liz,

I apologize to you sincerely if that was too harsh.

Think about this in other ways though. You have someone who is

interested in befriending your children. Isn't that a good thing.

My daughter is almost 4, but I wouuld welcome a 3 year old who wanted

to play with her. That is all I am saying.

Again, I apologize to you sincerely and publicly.

If you don't want the woman's kids around, tell her to keep them away

or tell her to take a hike. Be straight forward and honest.

[Guest guest]

Thanks Jenn & great suggestions! I have given her kids the brush off when they

come to the door. But these kids sit on my front porch and just hang out when I

tell them my boys can't play.....and this makes my boys drive me crazy because

they want to go play! Kind of funny!

We used to live in a neighborhood with no kids so we moved here recently for our

kids to have friends. It's a huge culture shock for me!!!! Kids are all over

the place now! :-)

Liz

Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote:

Oh goodness! She sure is putting you on the spot! It sounds like

you're

going to have to have a talk with her even if it makes her feel bad. Maybe

just explain it to her like you said here and just tell her that you're glad

your kids and hers are friends, but you're awfully busy and every day is

just too often and then suggest how many days of the week would be good for

you. Maybe you two can even work out certain days that would be good days

for play dates. Make sure she has her fair share of turns having them at her

place too though so she can't continue to take advantage of your kindness

because honestly, that is what it sounds like she's doing from what I know,

IMO

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- ( ) too many play dates & wrong age pairing

I know this isn't a major problem but it's getting awkward. A Mom

several houses down, keeps calling to invite my two sons over for

play dates. Like every day! She sends her kids over daily to ring

our bell (sometimes three & four times a day) and calls our house

every few days to arrange things. She's very nice & I don't want to

hurt her feelings. But she keeps pairing my almost 8 year old AS son

with her 5 yr old son. She has another son who is 9 and a closer age

match for my son. Obviously her 9 year old has told her he's not

interested in being buddies with my son (who by the way is a really

sweet kid) So my son is stuck with the pre-kindergartener. Because

of his AS, I don't think my son cares.....but I do! I feel like

this Mom is pairing them up more for her 5 year old sons

benefit....he's immature & could use an older buddy for a role

model. But my son really doesn't need to be hanging around with

someone several years younger either.

I do have her kids over to play at my house a few times a week. They

play pretty well. I just guess I'm venting because my son is with

the younger boy & this Mom wants them to play way too often for my

taste. How can I get this Mom to back off on getting our kids

together so often?

I know this is wrong but I'd like to exclude the younger boy from

invites to play at our house sometimes and only ask the boy closer in

age to my son. This is the more reasonable pairing anyway. I think

it would be really wrong and I'd never do it but I'm so hurt that my

son is being left out from playing with the kid closer to his age! I

just need to let this Mom know I'm getting weary of her nice but

CONSTANT attempts at this odd age match.

Thanks if you've read all of my rambeling on & on.....

Liz

Houston

[Guest guest]

Thank you so much Jenn. I read that and was taken back a bit too. I just

replied to his post.

Liz

Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote:

Stop whining? That's a bit harsh don't you think?

I don't think she's whining, I think she's being considerate of someone else

s feelings and asking for advice. The world can always use more people who

are so considerate of others' feelings.

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) too many play dates & wrong age pairing

Stop whining, tell her to get lost if you don't want her there. Think about

this logically too, you have a person who is interested in befriending you,

but also your children. I am sure that your son could use the socialization

If she seems like she just wants another mother to take care of her kid,

then tell her to get lost.

Dave

Greer <lisalgreer@...> wrote:

Hi, Liz,

I know it's tough, but this woman is too pushy.

Everyday a week, coming by several times a day is way

too much. Sounds like she has no regard for what you

might want or feel. I would simply tell her that you

love having both boys over... and prefer the older to

come since your son is 8 and needs to socialize with

kids closer to his age BUT that you cannot watch them

everyday of the week. A few days a week would be fine.

I'm sure she will be offended, but that's honestly her

problem, not yours.

Or you can just quit answering the door when her kids

come by for a few days! Or tell them when they do that

you guys are busy for the day... several days in a

row.

She will probably take the hint then! It's my guess

that she knows that you are very nice and is taking

advantage of you.

--- Liz S <lizs.1234@...> wrote:

> I think the other Mom likes to ship several kids at

> a time out of her house since she has four kids.

> That's my guess. She doesn't even acknowledge that

> it would be possible for our sons who are closer in

> age to be buddies. She just puts her pre-k son with

> my first grader and has declared them best buddies!

> I will say her son who's in 2nd grade doesn

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[Guest guest]

No, not harsh, just straight forward and honest. If you want someone

to go away, just tell them flat out and they go away 9 times out of 10.

[Guest guest]

You're welcome and thank you! =)

I can sure understand the culture shock. In the last three places we've had

varying degrees of it. The first place there were two kids, one my kids' age

and the other a baby. The next place there were kids allll over ranging in

ages from around 4 to 15. Where we are now there were four kids, all my

oldest kids' ages, but two moved. There are a few at the end of the street

my kids' ages, but my kids have a hard time socializing with any of them. My

daughter is gifted so her maturity level is more even with older kids (which

there aren't any of here) and my boys maturity levels are both a couple

years behind and there aren't younger kids here. It's tricky. I'm hoping it

ll be easier to get them socialized this summer when school's not eating up

their entire schedules lol

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- ( ) too many play dates & wrong age pairing

I know this isn't a major problem but it's getting awkward. A Mom

several houses down, keeps calling to invite my two sons over for

play dates. Like every day! She sends her kids over daily to ring

our bell (sometimes three & four times a day) and calls our house

every few days to arrange things. She's very nice & I don't want to

hurt her feelings. But she keeps pairing my almost 8 year old AS son

with her 5 yr old son. She has another son who is 9 and a closer age

match for my son. Obviously her 9 year old has told her he's not

interested in being buddies with my son (who by the way is a really

sweet kid) So my son is stuck with the pre-kindergartener. Because

of his AS, I don't think my son cares.....but I do! I feel like

this Mom is pairing them up more for her 5 year old sons

benefit....he's immature & could use an older buddy for a role

model. But my son really doesn't need to be hanging around with

someone several years younger either.

I do have her kids over to play at my house a few times a week. They

play pretty well. I just guess I'm venting because my son is with

the younger boy & this Mom wants them to play way too often for my

taste. How can I get this Mom to back off on getting our kids

together so often?

I know this is wrong but I'd like to exclude the younger boy from

invites to play at our house sometimes and only ask the boy closer in

age to my son. This is the more reasonable pairing anyway. I think

it would be really wrong and I'd never do it but I'm so hurt that my

son is being left out from playing with the kid closer to his age! I

just need to let this Mom know I'm getting weary of her nice but

CONSTANT attempts at this odd age match.

Thanks if you've read all of my rambeling on & on.....

Liz

Houston

[Guest guest]

You're welcome =)

I'm glad you weren't offended that I kinda stepped in there, it just kinda

caught me off guard and I didn't stop to think that maybe you wouldn't want

me to step in like that. (I blame the ADD lol)

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- Re: ( ) too many play dates & wrong age pairing

Stop whining, tell her to get lost if you don't want her there. Think about

this logically too, you have a person who is interested in befriending you,

but also your children. I am sure that your son could use the socialization

If she seems like she just wants another mother to take care of her kid,

then tell her to get lost.

Dave

Greer <lisalgreer@...> wrote:

Hi, Liz,

I know it's tough, but this woman is too pushy.

Everyday a week, coming by several times a day is way

too much. Sounds like she has no regard for what you

might want or feel. I would simply tell her that you

love having both boys over... and prefer the older to

come since your son is 8 and needs to socialize with

kids closer to his age BUT that you cannot watch them

everyday of the week. A few days a week would be fine.

I'm sure she will be offended, but that's honestly her

problem, not yours.

Or you can just quit answering the door when her kids

come by for a few days! Or tell them when they do that

you guys are busy for the day... several days in a

row.

She will probably take the hint then! It's my guess

that she knows that you are very nice and is taking

advantage of you.

--- Liz S <lizs.1234@...> wrote:

> I think the other Mom likes to ship several kids at

> a time out of her house since she has four kids.

> That's my guess. She doesn't even acknowledge that

> it would be possible for our sons who are closer in

> age to be buddies. She just puts her pre-k son with

> my first grader and has declared them best buddies!

> I will say her son who's in 2nd grade doesn

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[Guest guest]

On Dec 2, 10:27am, " " wrote:

} No, not harsh, just straight forward and honest. If you want someone=20

} to go away, just tell them flat out and they go away 9 times out of 10.

When they're a neighbor, however, it's kind of a lousy strategy over

the long term. Not to mention rude and unkind.

Willa

[Guest guest]

Unless they are autistic or have aspergers. NOPE Sometimes they don't get

the hint and.. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

-- Re: ( ) too many play dates & wrong age pairing

No, not harsh, just straight forward and honest. If you want someone

to go away, just tell them flat out and they go away 9 times out of 10.

[Guest guest]

I kind of agree. Maybe the next time she comes by,,,,,,,you can make it look

like you're more in a " rush " and more busy than normal.

Say,,, " Boy,,,,I gotta tell you,,,,,It sure is nice for all of them to have

someone to play with, but I'm tired. Can we plan on next Tuesday,,,,,,,,cause

I'm going to be swamped here for awhile. "

Then,,,,you could maybe ask about the other boys maybe coming over, too.

I hope I understood the posts correctly,,,,,,I'm reading them from the back to

the front.

Robin

Jenn <wyledbunch@...> wrote:

Oh goodness! She sure is putting you on the spot! It sounds like

you're

going to have to have a talk with her even if it makes her feel bad. Maybe

just explain it to her like you said here and just tell her that you're glad

your kids and hers are friends, but you're awfully busy and every day is

just too often and then suggest how many days of the week would be good for

you. Maybe you two can even work out certain days that would be good days

for play dates. Make sure she has her fair share of turns having them at her

place too though so she can't continue to take advantage of your kindness

because honestly, that is what it sounds like she's doing from what I know,

IMO

-Jenn, AEP (ADD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety/Depression)

Proud Momma of Cory Albert (14yrs ADHD), h Dawn (12yrs

Anxiety/Depression)

and Jerry Lee " Trey " (9yrs ADHD, Bi-Polar, Asperger's)

-- ( ) too many play dates & wrong age pairing

I know this isn't a major problem but it's getting awkward. A Mom

several houses down, keeps calling to invite my two sons over for

play dates. Like every day! She sends her kids over daily to ring

our bell (sometimes three & four times a day) and calls our house

every few days to arrange things. She's very nice & I don't want to

hurt her feelings. But she keeps pairing my almost 8 year old AS son

with her 5 yr old son. She has another son who is 9 and a closer age

match for my son. Obviously her 9 year old has told her he's not

interested in being buddies with my son (who by the way is a really

sweet kid) So my son is stuck with the pre-kindergartener. Because

of his AS, I don't think my son cares.....but I do! I feel like

this Mom is pairing them up more for her 5 year old sons

benefit....he's immature & could use an older buddy for a role

model. But my son really doesn't need to be hanging around with

someone several years younger either.

I do have her kids over to play at my house a few times a week. They

play pretty well. I just guess I'm venting because my son is with

the younger boy & this Mom wants them to play way too often for my

taste. How can I get this Mom to back off on getting our kids

together so often?

I know this is wrong but I'd like to exclude the younger boy from

invites to play at our house sometimes and only ask the boy closer in

age to my son. This is the more reasonable pairing anyway. I think

it would be really wrong and I'd never do it but I'm so hurt that my

son is being left out from playing with the kid closer to his age! I

just need to let this Mom know I'm getting weary of her nice but

CONSTANT attempts at this odd age match.

Thanks if you've read all of my rambeling on & on.....

Liz

Houston

[Guest guest]

I know this isn't what you're looking to hear... but I'd be thrilled

if there was a 5yo who wanted to have a playdate with my Aspie 9yo.

Aspie kids, as much as we want them to be, are NOT NT kids, and on

the whole probably aren't going to be accepted by same-age NT kids.

has a very good friend at synagogue, who she plays with every

week. The child is 5yo, and is emotionally outgrowing her. They've

played together since the 5yo was a toddler. But she's now

emotionally older than my , and it's going to be very

difficult for when this other little girl moves on to play

with someone else.

At Sunday School, there is an 11yo who watches out for her, pays

attention to her, mothers her. And the teens adore her as much as

they adore the other preschoolers, because they understand that in

her heart that's what she is. Other 9yo's just don't get her.

As for overwhelming you with calls for playdates... we've not had

that problem yet.

I'm sure others have good advice regarding that issue.

Meira

>

)

> -- ( ) too many play dates & wrong age pairing

>

> I know this isn't a major problem but it's getting awkward. A Mom

> several houses down, keeps calling to invite my two sons over for

> play dates. Like every day! She sends her kids over daily to ring

> our bell (sometimes three & four times a day) and calls our house

> every few days to arrange things. She's very nice & I don't want to

> hurt her feelings. But she keeps pairing my almost 8 year old AS son

> with her 5 yr old son. She has another son who is 9 and a closer age

> match for my son. Obviously her 9 year old has told her he's not

> interested in being buddies with my son (who by the way is a really

> sweet kid) So my son is stuck with the pre-kindergartener. Because

> of his AS, I don't think my son cares.....but I do! I feel like

> this Mom is pairing them up more for her 5 year old sons

> benefit....he's immature & could use an older buddy for a role

> model. But my son really doesn't need to be hanging around with

> someone several years younger either.

> I do have her kids over to play at my house a few times a week. They

> play pretty well. I just guess I'm venting because my son is with

> the younger boy & this Mom wants them to play way too often for my

> taste. How can I get this Mom to back off on getting our kids

> together so often?

> I know this is wrong but I'd like to exclude the younger boy from

> invites to play at our house sometimes and only ask the boy closer

in

> age to my son. This is the more reasonable pairing anyway. I think

> it would be really wrong and I'd never do it but I'm so hurt that my

> son is being left out from playing with the kid closer to his age! I

> just need to let this Mom know I'm getting weary of her nice but

> CONSTANT attempts at this odd age match.

> Thanks if you've read all of my rambeling on & on.....

> Liz

> Houston

[Guest guest]

and... maybe she is just as overwhelmed as you are!!

Perhaps.. its a great way to introduce yourself.. and try to set up a Play date

at her house.. bring over some cookies.. and plunk yourself down and introduce

yourself. You may just find a mom in common.... and some trading of respite!!!

( ) too many play dates & wrong age pairing

I know this isn't a major problem but it's getting awkward. A Mom

several houses down, keeps calling to invite my two sons over for

play dates. Like every day! She sends her kids over daily to ring

our bell (sometimes three & four times a day) and calls our house

every few days to arrange things. She's very nice & I don't want to

hurt her feelings. But she keeps pairing my almost 8 year old AS son

with her 5 yr old son. She has another son who is 9 and a closer age

match for my son. Obviously her 9 year old has told her he's not

interested in being buddies with my son (who by the way is a really

sweet kid) So my son is stuck with the pre-kindergartener. Because

of his AS, I don't think my son cares.....but I do! I feel like

this Mom is pairing them up more for her 5 year old sons

benefit....he's immature & could use an older buddy for a role

model. But my son really doesn't need to be hanging around with

someone several years younger either.

I do have her kids over to play at my house a few times a week. They

play pretty well. I just guess I'm venting because my son is with

the younger boy & this Mom wants them to play way too often for my

taste. How can I get this Mom to back off on getting our kids

together so often?

I know this is wrong but I'd like to exclude the younger boy from

invites to play at our house sometimes and only ask the boy closer in

age to my son. This is the more reasonable pairing anyway. I think

it would be really wrong and I'd never do it but I'm so hurt that my

son is being left out from playing with the kid closer to his age! I

just need to let this Mom know I'm getting weary of her nice but

CONSTANT attempts at this odd age match.

Thanks if you've read all of my rambeling on & on.....

Liz

Houston

[Guest guest]

Liz, If your kids WANT to play with them... and ASD kids REALLY need

the socialization... then I'm not sure I understand the problem? Are

YOU overwhelmed by having the kids in your house all the time? But

didn't you say she invited your kids there too? I'm not sure I

understand what the problem is?

Meira

>

> Thanks Jenn & great suggestions! I have given her kids the brush

off when they come to the door. But these kids sit on my front porch

and just hang out when I tell them my boys can't play.....and this

makes my boys drive me crazy because they want to go play! Kind of

funny!

> We used to live in a neighborhood with no kids so we moved here

recently for our kids to have friends. It's a huge culture shock

for me!!!! Kids are all over the place now! :-)

> Liz

[Guest guest]

Well said..

I agree... my 11 year old is much more comfortable with younger kids.

Unfortunately.. as he is getting older.. the adults will see this as very odd..

and he will get that " creepy kid " title... because he would rather play with

younger kids.

I am saddened for him

( ) too many play dates & wrong age pairing

>

> I know this isn't a major problem but it's getting awkward. A Mom

> several houses down, keeps calling to invite my two sons over for

> play dates. Like every day! She sends her kids over daily to ring

> our bell (sometimes three & four times a day) and calls our house

> every few days to arrange things. She's very nice & I don't want to

> hurt her feelings. But she keeps pairing my almost 8 year old AS son

> with her 5 yr old son. She has another son who is 9 and a closer age

> match for my son. Obviously her 9 year old has told her he's not

> interested in being buddies with my son (who by the way is a really

> sweet kid) So my son is stuck with the pre-kindergartener. Because

> of his AS, I don't think my son cares.....but I do! I feel like

> this Mom is pairing them up more for her 5 year old sons

> benefit....he's immature & could use an older buddy for a role

> model. But my son really doesn't need to be hanging around with

> someone several years younger either.

> I do have her kids over to play at my house a few times a week. They

> play pretty well. I just guess I'm venting because my son is with

> the younger boy & this Mom wants them to play way too often for my

> taste. How can I get this Mom to back off on getting our kids

> together so often?

> I know this is wrong but I'd like to exclude the younger boy from

> invites to play at our house sometimes and only ask the boy closer

in

> age to my son. This is the more reasonable pairing anyway. I think

> it would be really wrong and I'd never do it but I'm so hurt that my

> son is being left out from playing with the kid closer to his age! I

> just need to let this Mom know I'm getting weary of her nice but

> CONSTANT attempts at this odd age match.

> Thanks if you've read all of my rambeling on & on.....

> Liz

> Houston

[Guest guest]

My , currently not diagnosed, who's 7 years old, has ALWAYS

gravitated towards younger girls at the local playgrounds. And in

looking back on my life my friends were typically a grade behind me.

I also recall having dated this one guy (who was brilliant to say the

least), whom I love to this day, saying to me at one point, " Marcia,

you're still a little girl! " He meant it in a very heartfelt,

understanding sort of way but I knew it was true and that he saw how

I was " crippled inside " .

Marcia

On Apr 5, 2007, at 8:41 AM, meiraharvey wrote:

> I know this isn't what you're looking to hear... but I'd be thrilled

> if there was a 5yo who wanted to have a playdate with my Aspie 9yo.

> Aspie kids, as much as we want them to be, are NOT NT kids, and on

> the whole probably aren't going to be accepted by same-age NT kids.

> has a very good friend at synagogue, who she plays with every

> week. The child is 5yo, and is emotionally outgrowing her. They've

> played together since the 5yo was a toddler. But she's now

> emotionally older than my , and it's going to be very

> difficult for when this other little girl moves on to play

> with someone else.

>

> At Sunday School, there is an 11yo who watches out for her, pays

> attention to her, mothers her. And the teens adore her as much as

> they adore the other preschoolers, because they understand that in

> her heart that's what she is. Other 9yo's just don't get her.

>

> As for overwhelming you with calls for playdates... we've not had

> that problem yet.

>

> I'm sure others have good advice regarding that issue.

> Meira

>

>

>>

> )

>> -- ( ) too many play dates & wrong age pairing

>>

>> I know this isn't a major problem but it's getting awkward. A Mom

>> several houses down, keeps calling to invite my two sons over for

>> play dates. Like every day! She sends her kids over daily to ring

>> our bell (sometimes three & four times a day) and calls our house

>> every few days to arrange things. She's very nice & I don't want to

>> hurt her feelings. But she keeps pairing my almost 8 year old AS son

>> with her 5 yr old son. She has another son who is 9 and a closer age

>> match for my son. Obviously her 9 year old has told her he's not

>> interested in being buddies with my son (who by the way is a really

>> sweet kid) So my son is stuck with the pre-kindergartener. Because

>> of his AS, I don't think my son cares.....but I do! I feel like

>> this Mom is pairing them up more for her 5 year old sons

>> benefit....he's immature & could use an older buddy for a role

>> model. But my son really doesn't need to be hanging around with

>> someone several years younger either.

>> I do have her kids over to play at my house a few times a week. They

>> play pretty well. I just guess I'm venting because my son is with

>> the younger boy & this Mom wants them to play way too often for my

>> taste. How can I get this Mom to back off on getting our kids

>> together so often?

>> I know this is wrong but I'd like to exclude the younger boy from

>> invites to play at our house sometimes and only ask the boy closer

> in

>> age to my son. This is the more reasonable pairing anyway. I think

>> it would be really wrong and I'd never do it but I'm so hurt that my

>> son is being left out from playing with the kid closer to his age! I

>> just need to let this Mom know I'm getting weary of her nice but

>> CONSTANT attempts at this odd age match.

>> Thanks if you've read all of my rambeling on & on.....

>> Liz

>> Houston

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Meira,

Yes, my son enjoys playing with this boy 3 years younger than him. But there

is another boy only 1 year older than my son who is closer in age. The problem

is that I don't like how it brings down his level of socialization. My son is

mild AS and really needs same age playmates. So I feel slighted that this Mom

is pushing her preschooler on us instead of suggesting her son who is closer in

age with my son, play.

The other problem I have is the frequency of play dates she tries to set up.

Yes, I have her kids over (out of guilt to reciprocate) and she has mine over.

But she calls every other day & wants my kids to come over for long periods of

time & I'm just not comfortable with it. It's just too much for me. :-) She

doesn't seem to get it that I often brush her off & she just keeps on and on and

on!

Liz

meiraharvey <meira-harvey@...> wrote:

Liz, If your kids WANT to play with them... and ASD kids REALLY need

the socialization... then I'm not sure I understand the problem? Are

YOU overwhelmed by having the kids in your house all the time? But

didn't you say she invited your kids there too? I'm not sure I

understand what the problem is?

Meira

>

> Thanks Jenn & great suggestions! I have given her kids the brush

off when they come to the door. But these kids sit on my front porch

and just hang out when I tell them my boys can't play.....and this

makes my boys drive me crazy because they want to go play! Kind of

funny!

> We used to live in a neighborhood with no kids so we moved here

recently for our kids to have friends. It's a huge culture shock

for me!!!! Kids are all over the place now! :-)

> Liz

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