Re: too many play dates & wrong age pairing

[Guest guest]

I'm about a million posts behind on the list. (It's spring break and the kids

are soaking up

all my computer time. <g>) So I apologize if somebody has already suggested

this.

I think you have two separate problems here. One is the age difference between

the boys.

The other is the too-frequent presence of her kids at your house.

I'd consider that maybe the boys are on the same level emotionally. I know my

son with

AS was functioning at about a 5yo level when he was 9yo. Now he's 15 and

probably

functioning on about a 10yo level in terms of his behavior and interests. You

just don't

find NT 15yos who are interested in Pokemon and Kirby, more's the pity. So I

would be

*thrilled* to find a 10yo friend for him to play with. The important thing is

for them to

have time interacting with other people. There's a lot to be learned from *any*

sort of

friendship if you compare it to no friendship at all. If the age gap isn't

bothering your son,

I'd say he's getting something valuable out of the relationship. If, OTOH, your

son isn't

interested in playing with the younger child, that's a whole different

situation.

AFA the too frequent visits, you might want to try what I did. We live in a

neighborhood

with a lot of children, and they're over here (or my kids want to be over there)

all the time.

Several of us mothers decided that the kids have to call first to see if it

would be a good

time for playing. If we have any reason why we don't want to have the kids

over--and

" You've already spent an hour together today " would be a good reason--we just

say so. I

think asking your neighbor to have the kids call first would be a gentle way to

control the

traffic.

Good luck.

Sue C.

>

> I know this isn't a major problem but it's getting awkward. A Mom

> several houses down, keeps calling to invite my two sons over for

> play dates. Like every day! She sends her kids over daily to ring

> our bell (sometimes three & four times a day) and calls our house

> every few days to arrange things. She's very nice & I don't want to

> hurt her feelings. But she keeps pairing my almost 8 year old AS son

> with her 5 yr old son. <snip>

[Guest guest]

See, this is why I want to push my son to learn to socialize with kids his own

age. I want to avoid " that creepy kid " label when he gets older. This is why I

said in my posts that I am irritated that this Mom pushes her preschooler

(instead of her son closer in age to my son) to play with my 1st grader. If it

was reversed & I sent my 3 year old to play with her 8 year old & I said all the

time " Oh, gee look at what good friends they are. " She wouldn't like it either.

Liz

Meira,

I hope is going to handle this okay when the friend (5yr old) moves

on. It's good that other kids are able to see her social levels and help her.

My son's AS in almost invisible to his peers. Which is good & bad. On the good

side....he can blend in the crowd sometimes & appear NT. But his oddities are

sometimes obvious & his friends just think he's TRYING to be obnoxious. Ugggg.

Liz

<cmcintosh5@...> wrote:

Well said..

I agree... my 11 year old is much more comfortable with younger kids.

Unfortunately.. as he is getting older.. the adults will see this as very odd..

and he will get that " creepy kid " title... because he would rather play with

younger kids.

I am saddened for him

( ) too many play dates & wrong age pairing

>

> I know this isn't a major problem but it's getting awkward. A Mom

> several houses down, keeps calling to invite my two sons over for

> play dates. Like every day! She sends her kids over daily to ring

> our bell (sometimes three & four times a day) and calls our house

> every few days to arrange things. She's very nice & I don't want to

> hurt her feelings. But she keeps pairing my almost 8 year old AS son

> with her 5 yr old son. She has another son who is 9 and a closer age

> match for my son. Obviously her 9 year old has told her he's not

> interested in being buddies with my son (who by the way is a really

> sweet kid) So my son is stuck with the pre-kindergartener. Because

> of his AS, I don't think my son cares.....but I do! I feel like

> this Mom is pairing them up more for her 5 year old sons

> benefit....he's immature & could use an older buddy for a role

> model. But my son really doesn't need to be hanging around with

> someone several years younger either.

> I do have her kids over to play at my house a few times a week. They

> play pretty well. I just guess I'm venting because my son is with

> the younger boy & this Mom wants them to play way too often for my

> taste. How can I get this Mom to back off on getting our kids

> together so often?

> I know this is wrong but I'd like to exclude the younger boy from

> invites to play at our house sometimes and only ask the boy closer

in

> age to my son. This is the more reasonable pairing anyway. I think

> it would be really wrong and I'd never do it but I'm so hurt that my

> son is being left out from playing with the kid closer to his age! I

> just need to let this Mom know I'm getting weary of her nice but

> CONSTANT attempts at this odd age match.

> Thanks if you've read all of my rambeling on & on.....

> Liz

> Houston

[Guest guest]

Meira, I was thinking similarly along the line that you are: Really,

I would be quite happy if there were others wishing to play with my

son; including younger children. No one calls upon him and it makes

him sad (and me as well for him). I have 3 other sons who are all out

and about and on the go with their abundance of friends. (He notices).

I can see both sides: Of course, it would be my greater wish that my

son connect with his peers similar in age, but he gravitates to the

younger (or much older) groups because they accept him better. My son

also was drawn towards a boy who has obvious disabilities, including

a severe speech delay, but he didn't seem to notice and I don't mind

at all.

It irks one of my sons that his sibling is typically seen playing

with those a few grades behind his brother on the playground, but

hey, my son IS playing and having fun so why would I want to take

that away? We all want our children to be healthy and happy - above

all else - so although it may be difficult for us as parents to

accept, for me I am willing to try and see through his eyes and allow

and encourage friendships despite outward appearances.

Maybe I have this attitude because I was an only child and grew up

feeling quite lonely myself. Couple that with 5 children of my own

and one with severe special needs now gone to Heaven... I don't know,

I think we never know what life will bring us and if we can find

happiness in little things and ANY of the people around us, then go

for it.

Sorry for my long ramblings. Just my humble and honest opinion.

- Velvet

> >

> )

> > -- ( ) too many play dates & wrong age

pairing

> >

> > I know this isn't a major problem but it's getting awkward. A Mom

> > several houses down, keeps calling to invite my two sons over for

> > play dates. Like every day! She sends her kids over daily to ring

> > our bell (sometimes three & four times a day) and calls our house

> > every few days to arrange things. She's very nice & I don't want

to

> > hurt her feelings. But she keeps pairing my almost 8 year old AS

son

> > with her 5 yr old son. She has another son who is 9 and a closer

age

> > match for my son. Obviously her 9 year old has told her he's not

> > interested in being buddies with my son (who by the way is a

really

> > sweet kid) So my son is stuck with the pre-kindergartener. Because

> > of his AS, I don't think my son cares.....but I do! I feel like

> > this Mom is pairing them up more for her 5 year old sons

> > benefit....he's immature & could use an older buddy for a role

> > model. But my son really doesn't need to be hanging around with

> > someone several years younger either.

> > I do have her kids over to play at my house a few times a week.

They

> > play pretty well. I just guess I'm venting because my son is with

> > the younger boy & this Mom wants them to play way too often for my

> > taste. How can I get this Mom to back off on getting our kids

> > together so often?

> > I know this is wrong but I'd like to exclude the younger boy from

> > invites to play at our house sometimes and only ask the boy

closer

> in

> > age to my son. This is the more reasonable pairing anyway. I think

> > it would be really wrong and I'd never do it but I'm so hurt that

my

> > son is being left out from playing with the kid closer to his

age! I

> > just need to let this Mom know I'm getting weary of her nice but

> > CONSTANT attempts at this odd age match.

> > Thanks if you've read all of my rambeling on & on.....

> > Liz

> > Houston

>

[Guest guest]

Now this sounds like very effective advice, and something that won't

offend either. A good plan of action and a good way to look at things.

Marcia

On Apr 5, 2007, at 11:23 AM, suetois wrote:

> I'm about a million posts behind on the list. (It's spring break

> and the kids are soaking up

> all my computer time. <g>) So I apologize if somebody has already

> suggested this.

>

> I think you have two separate problems here. One is the age

> difference between the boys.

> The other is the too-frequent presence of her kids at your house.

>

> I'd consider that maybe the boys are on the same level

> emotionally. I know my son with

> AS was functioning at about a 5yo level when he was 9yo. Now he's

> 15 and probably

> functioning on about a 10yo level in terms of his behavior and

> interests. You just don't

> find NT 15yos who are interested in Pokemon and Kirby, more's the

> pity. So I would be

> *thrilled* to find a 10yo friend for him to play with. The

> important thing is for them to

> have time interacting with other people. There's a lot to be

> learned from *any* sort of

> friendship if you compare it to no friendship at all. If the age

> gap isn't bothering your son,

> I'd say he's getting something valuable out of the relationship.

> If, OTOH, your son isn't

> interested in playing with the younger child, that's a whole

> different situation.

>

> AFA the too frequent visits, you might want to try what I did. We

> live in a neighborhood

> with a lot of children, and they're over here (or my kids want to

> be over there) all the time.

> Several of us mothers decided that the kids have to call first to

> see if it would be a good

> time for playing. If we have any reason why we don't want to have

> the kids over--and

> " You've already spent an hour together today " would be a good

> reason--we just say so. I

> think asking your neighbor to have the kids call first would be a

> gentle way to control the

> traffic.

>

> Good luck.

>

> Sue C.

>

>

>>

>> I know this isn't a major problem but it's getting awkward. A Mom

>> several houses down, keeps calling to invite my two sons over for

>> play dates. Like every day! She sends her kids over daily to ring

>> our bell (sometimes three & four times a day) and calls our house

>> every few days to arrange things. She's very nice & I don't want to

>> hurt her feelings. But she keeps pairing my almost 8 year old AS son

>> with her 5 yr old son. <snip>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Liz,

I understand that you'd prefer your child play with the older brother-

but the older brother doesn't want him around. Isn't it better for

him to have a good young friend that wants him, than someone who

doesn't want him, which may lead to no friend at all?

And your son doesn't seem to care?

Do you really feel like he's losing out if he has a younger friend?

And if you do, don't you think there's more of an emotional

difference between your son and the older than him child versus your

son and the younger than him child?

Meira

>

> Meira,

> Yes, my son enjoys playing with this boy 3 years younger than

him. But there is another boy only 1 year older than my son who is

closer in age. The problem is that I don't like how it brings down

his level of socialization. My son is mild AS and really needs same

age playmates. So I feel slighted that this Mom is pushing her

preschooler on us instead of suggesting her son who is closer in age

with my son, play.

[Guest guest]

Thanks Toni! I'm a total whimp too! That's why a neighbor lady with 4 kids is

monopolizing my kids afternoons! :-) I wish I had more nerve in general....I'd

be alot further along in life!

Liz

Toni Barker <kbtoni@...> wrote:

I thought it was a little harsh too, but then I'm scared of my shadow.

I would probably just continue to let them come and hate it. I wouldn't have the

nerve to tell her to get lost. I think the idea about sitting down and saying

hey, I'm feeling so overwhelmed now with the kids could we make some kind of

schedule? Say your kids come over from 4-5 on Tues and Thurs and that way I can

spend some time teaching my children things they aren't learning in school.. or

something like that Toni the whimp

Re: ( ) too many play dates & wrong age pairing

Stop whining, tell her to get lost if you don't want her there. Think about

this logically too, you have a person who is interested in befriending you,

but also your children. I am sure that your son could use the socialization

If she seems like she just wants another mother to take care of her kid,

then tell her to get lost.

Dave

Greer <lisalgreer@...> wrote:

Hi, Liz,

I know it's tough, but this woman is too pushy.

Everyday a week, coming by several times a day is way

too much. Sounds like she has no regard for what you

might want or feel. I would simply tell her that you

love having both boys over... and prefer the older to

come since your son is 8 and needs to socialize with

kids closer to his age BUT that you cannot watch them

everyday of the week. A few days a week would be fine.

I'm sure she will be offended, but that's honestly her

problem, not yours.

Or you can just quit answering the door when her kids

come by for a few days! Or tell them when they do that

you guys are busy for the day... several days in a

row.

She will probably take the hint then! It's my guess

that she knows that you are very nice and is taking

advantage of you.

--- Liz S <lizs.1234@...> wrote:

> I think the other Mom likes to ship several kids at

> a time out of her house since she has four kids.

> That's my guess. She doesn't even acknowledge that

> it would be possible for our sons who are closer in

> age to be buddies. She just puts her pre-k son with

> my first grader and has declared them best buddies!

> I will say her son who's in 2nd grade doesn

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[Guest guest]

Velvet,

I see your and Meira's point of view. But we have different situations, my AS

son CAN handle peers his own age and is not being offered the opportunity in

this case. The daily playing with this preschool child is NOT helping him.

By they way....I went to your daughters web site when you joined a few days

ago.....it so sweet & I can't get her out of my mind. Very very touching.

Excellent job.

Thanks,

Liz

tdhssp <johnvel@...> wrote:

Meira, I was thinking similarly along the line that you are: Really,

I would be quite happy if there were others wishing to play with my

son; including younger children. No one calls upon him and it makes

him sad (and me as well for him). I have 3 other sons who are all out

and about and on the go with their abundance of friends. (He notices).

I can see both sides: Of course, it would be my greater wish that my

son connect with his peers similar in age, but he gravitates to the

younger (or much older) groups because they accept him better. My son

also was drawn towards a boy who has obvious disabilities, including

a severe speech delay, but he didn't seem to notice and I don't mind

at all.

It irks one of my sons that his sibling is typically seen playing

with those a few grades behind his brother on the playground, but

hey, my son IS playing and having fun so why would I want to take

that away? We all want our children to be healthy and happy - above

all else - so although it may be difficult for us as parents to

accept, for me I am willing to try and see through his eyes and allow

and encourage friendships despite outward appearances.

Maybe I have this attitude because I was an only child and grew up

feeling quite lonely myself. Couple that with 5 children of my own

and one with severe special needs now gone to Heaven... I don't know,

I think we never know what life will bring us and if we can find

happiness in little things and ANY of the people around us, then go

for it.

Sorry for my long ramblings. Just my humble and honest opinion.

- Velvet

> >

> )

> > -- ( ) too many play dates & wrong age

pairing

> >

> > I know this isn't a major problem but it's getting awkward. A Mom

> > several houses down, keeps calling to invite my two sons over for

> > play dates. Like every day! She sends her kids over daily to ring

> > our bell (sometimes three & four times a day) and calls our house

> > every few days to arrange things. She's very nice & I don't want

to

> > hurt her feelings. But she keeps pairing my almost 8 year old AS

son

> > with her 5 yr old son. She has another son who is 9 and a closer

age

> > match for my son. Obviously her 9 year old has told her he's not

> > interested in being buddies with my son (who by the way is a

really

> > sweet kid) So my son is stuck with the pre-kindergartener. Because

> > of his AS, I don't think my son cares.....but I do! I feel like

> > this Mom is pairing them up more for her 5 year old sons

> > benefit....he's immature & could use an older buddy for a role

> > model. But my son really doesn't need to be hanging around with

> > someone several years younger either.

> > I do have her kids over to play at my house a few times a week.

They

> > play pretty well. I just guess I'm venting because my son is with

> > the younger boy & this Mom wants them to play way too often for my

> > taste. How can I get this Mom to back off on getting our kids

> > together so often?

> > I know this is wrong but I'd like to exclude the younger boy from

> > invites to play at our house sometimes and only ask the boy

closer

> in

> > age to my son. This is the more reasonable pairing anyway. I think

> > it would be really wrong and I'd never do it but I'm so hurt that

my

> > son is being left out from playing with the kid closer to his

age! I

> > just need to let this Mom know I'm getting weary of her nice but

> > CONSTANT attempts at this odd age match.

> > Thanks if you've read all of my rambeling on & on.....

> > Liz

> > Houston

>

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[Guest guest]

I thought it was a little harsh too, but then I'm scared of my shadow. I would

probably just continue to let them come and hate it. I wouldn't have the nerve

to tell her to get lost. I think the idea about sitting down and saying hey, I'm

feeling so overwhelmed now with the kids could we make some kind of schedule?

Say your kids come over from 4-5 on Tues and Thurs and that way I can spend some

time teaching my children things they aren't learning in school.. or something

like that Toni the whimp

Re: ( ) too many play dates & wrong age pairing

Stop whining, tell her to get lost if you don't want her there. Think about

this logically too, you have a person who is interested in befriending you,

but also your children. I am sure that your son could use the socialization

If she seems like she just wants another mother to take care of her kid,

then tell her to get lost.

Dave

Greer <lisalgreer@...> wrote:

Hi, Liz,

I know it's tough, but this woman is too pushy.

Everyday a week, coming by several times a day is way

too much. Sounds like she has no regard for what you

might want or feel. I would simply tell her that you

love having both boys over... and prefer the older to

come since your son is 8 and needs to socialize with

kids closer to his age BUT that you cannot watch them

everyday of the week. A few days a week would be fine.

I'm sure she will be offended, but that's honestly her

problem, not yours.

Or you can just quit answering the door when her kids

come by for a few days! Or tell them when they do that

you guys are busy for the day... several days in a

row.

She will probably take the hint then! It's my guess

that she knows that you are very nice and is taking

advantage of you.

--- Liz S <lizs.1234@...> wrote:

> I think the other Mom likes to ship several kids at

> a time out of her house since she has four kids.

> That's my guess. She doesn't even acknowledge that

> it would be possible for our sons who are closer in

> age to be buddies. She just puts her pre-k son with

> my first grader and has declared them best buddies!

> I will say her son who's in 2nd grade doesn

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[Guest guest]

I totally understand! I wish I had more nerve in general too.. Toni

Re: ( ) too many play dates & wrong age pairing

Stop whining, tell her to get lost if you don't want her there. Think about

this logically too, you have a person who is interested in befriending you,

but also your children. I am sure that your son could use the socialization

If she seems like she just wants another mother to take care of her kid,

then tell her to get lost.

Dave

Greer <lisalgreer@...> wrote:

Hi, Liz,

I know it's tough, but this woman is too pushy.

Everyday a week, coming by several times a day is way

too much. Sounds like she has no regard for what you

might want or feel. I would simply tell her that you

love having both boys over... and prefer the older to

come since your son is 8 and needs to socialize with

kids closer to his age BUT that you cannot watch them

everyday of the week. A few days a week would be fine.

I'm sure she will be offended, but that's honestly her

problem, not yours.

Or you can just quit answering the door when her kids

come by for a few days! Or tell them when they do that

you guys are busy for the day... several days in a

row.

She will probably take the hint then! It's my guess

that she knows that you are very nice and is taking

advantage of you.

--- Liz S <lizs.1234@...> wrote:

> I think the other Mom likes to ship several kids at

> a time out of her house since she has four kids.

> That's my guess. She doesn't even acknowledge that

> it would be possible for our sons who are closer in

> age to be buddies. She just puts her pre-k son with

> my first grader and has declared them best buddies!

> I will say her son who's in 2nd grade doesn

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[Guest guest]

Liz,

I hope she's going to be okay then too. We'll have to wait and see.

In the meantime, the fact that her now 5yo friend is moving beyond

her, tells me something about my 's social capabilities. At

9yo, she's not as advanced as an NT 5yo, so there's no way she's

ready for 9yo NT play.

Other 9yos will NOT play with . She is not NT, she never will

be, and most of the time I've just accepted that. I avoid

the " creepy older kid " label by telling the parents of the little

kids about 's " Autism " label. They are fine with their little

kids playing with her knowing that she is emotionally their kids'

ages. It would not be appropriate for you to send your 3yo to play

with her NT 8yo, because they're worlds apart. It's a totally

different situation. I understand that you desparately want your son

to be NT, and maybe someday, in some ways, he will be. And if this

is important to you, then I suppose you need to do what feels right

to you. For me, for , I'm just thrilled when she has the

opportunity to play with anyone at all.

Meira

>

>

> See, this is why I want to push my son to learn to socialize with

kids his own age. I want to avoid " that creepy kid " label when he

gets older. This is why I said in my posts that I am irritated that

this Mom pushes her preschooler (instead of her son closer in age to

my son) to play with my 1st grader. If it was reversed & I sent my 3

year old to play with her 8 year old & I said all the time " Oh, gee

look at what good friends they are. " She wouldn't like it either.

> Liz

>

> Meira,

> I hope is going to handle this okay when the friend (5yr

old) moves on. It's good that other kids are able to see her social

levels and help her. My son's AS in almost invisible to his peers.

Which is good & bad. On the good side....he can blend in the crowd

sometimes & appear NT. But his oddities are sometimes obvious & his

friends just think he's TRYING to be obnoxious. Ugggg.

> Liz

>

[Guest guest]

Ah, I see, I didn't realize that the situation was different. My

mistake and I appologize; I automatically assumed that 'our' kids

typically have issues surrounding social maturity and that it was

also true of your son. I didn't realize that your son interacts well

with his peers. My son, although he can keep up with his peers

academically, unfortunately is viewed as 'younger' (or annoying) in

his actions/words by peers - and even his siblings at times - so that

is why he emotionally bonds better with those chronologically younger

in age (or those older who feel 'motherly' towards him.) For my son's

situation, it seems healthier to me that he be encouraged to

socialize with others despite disparity of age or developmental

challenges rather than be friendless.

Oh, Liz, what you wrote: " I went to your daughters web site when you

joined a few days ago.....it so sweet & I can't get her out of my

mind. " ?? I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone else:

There is no website set up for my daughter. Also, I did not just join

the group (I've been a member for quite some time.) ??

> > >

> > )

> > > -- ( ) too many play dates & wrong age

> pairing

> > >

> > > I know this isn't a major problem but it's getting awkward. A

Mom

> > > several houses down, keeps calling to invite my two sons over

for

> > > play dates. Like every day! She sends her kids over daily to

ring

> > > our bell (sometimes three & four times a day) and calls our

house

> > > every few days to arrange things. She's very nice & I don't

want

> to

> > > hurt her feelings. But she keeps pairing my almost 8 year old

AS

> son

> > > with her 5 yr old son. She has another son who is 9 and a

closer

> age

> > > match for my son. Obviously her 9 year old has told her he's not

> > > interested in being buddies with my son (who by the way is a

> really

> > > sweet kid) So my son is stuck with the pre-kindergartener.

Because

> > > of his AS, I don't think my son cares.....but I do! I feel like

> > > this Mom is pairing them up more for her 5 year old sons

> > > benefit....he's immature & could use an older buddy for a role

> > > model. But my son really doesn't need to be hanging around with

> > > someone several years younger either.

> > > I do have her kids over to play at my house a few times a week.

> They

> > > play pretty well. I just guess I'm venting because my son is

with

> > > the younger boy & this Mom wants them to play way too often for

my

> > > taste. How can I get this Mom to back off on getting our kids

> > > together so often?

> > > I know this is wrong but I'd like to exclude the younger boy

from

> > > invites to play at our house sometimes and only ask the boy

> closer

> > in

> > > age to my son. This is the more reasonable pairing anyway. I

think

> > > it would be really wrong and I'd never do it but I'm so hurt

that

> my

> > > son is being left out from playing with the kid closer to his

> age! I

> > > just need to let this Mom know I'm getting weary of her nice but

> > > CONSTANT attempts at this odd age match.

> > > Thanks if you've read all of my rambeling on & on.....

> > > Liz

> > > Houston

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

> Try the free Beta.

>

>

[Guest guest]

That was a huge mistake then....When I wrote

" I went to your daughters web site when you

joined a few days ago.....it so sweet & I can't get her out of my

mind. "

I sure did get that mixed up. We have a new member who recently lost her

daughter and has the most beautiful web site set up in her memory. I thought it

was you. I'm gonna go back & read the emails again.

Thank you,

Liz

tdhssp <johnvel@...> wrote:

Ah, I see, I didn't realize that the situation was different. My

mistake and I appologize; I automatically assumed that 'our' kids

typically have issues surrounding social maturity and that it was

also true of your son. I didn't realize that your son interacts well

with his peers. My son, although he can keep up with his peers

academically, unfortunately is viewed as 'younger' (or annoying) in

his actions/words by peers - and even his siblings at times - so that

is why he emotionally bonds better with those chronologically younger

in age (or those older who feel 'motherly' towards him.) For my son's

situation, it seems healthier to me that he be encouraged to

socialize with others despite disparity of age or developmental

challenges rather than be friendless.

Oh, Liz, what you wrote: " I went to your daughters web site when you

joined a few days ago.....it so sweet & I can't get her out of my

mind. " ?? I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone else:

There is no website set up for my daughter. Also, I did not just join

the group (I've been a member for quite some time.) ??

> > >

> > )

> > > -- ( ) too many play dates & wrong age

> pairing

> > >

> > > I know this isn't a major problem but it's getting awkward. A

Mom

> > > several houses down, keeps calling to invite my two sons over

for

> > > play dates. Like every day! She sends her kids over daily to

ring

> > > our bell (sometimes three & four times a day) and calls our

house

> > > every few days to arrange things. She's very nice & I don't

want

> to

> > > hurt her feelings. But she keeps pairing my almost 8 year old

AS

> son

> > > with her 5 yr old son. She has another son who is 9 and a

closer

> age

> > > match for my son. Obviously her 9 year old has told her he's not

> > > interested in being buddies with my son (who by the way is a

> really

> > > sweet kid) So my son is stuck with the pre-kindergartener.

Because

> > > of his AS, I don't think my son cares.....but I do! I feel like

> > > this Mom is pairing them up more for her 5 year old sons

> > > benefit....he's immature & could use an older buddy for a role

> > > model. But my son really doesn't need to be hanging around with

> > > someone several years younger either.

> > > I do have her kids over to play at my house a few times a week.

> They

> > > play pretty well. I just guess I'm venting because my son is

with

> > > the younger boy & this Mom wants them to play way too often for

my

> > > taste. How can I get this Mom to back off on getting our kids

> > > together so often?

> > > I know this is wrong but I'd like to exclude the younger boy

from

> > > invites to play at our house sometimes and only ask the boy

> closer

> > in

> > > age to my son. This is the more reasonable pairing anyway. I

think

> > > it would be really wrong and I'd never do it but I'm so hurt

that

> my

> > > son is being left out from playing with the kid closer to his

> age! I

> > > just need to let this Mom know I'm getting weary of her nice but

> > > CONSTANT attempts at this odd age match.

> > > Thanks if you've read all of my rambeling on & on.....

> > > Liz

> > > Houston

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

> Try the free Beta.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Really odd: I did lose my beautiful daughter in December, but there

is no memorial website for her (at least yet.) I checked the date

that I joined here and it is 3 years this month that I found this

great group.

Let me know who it might be that you are thinking of... The

coincidence is really baffling me.

> > > >

> > > )

> > > > -- ( ) too many play dates & wrong age

> > pairing

> > > >

> > > > I know this isn't a major problem but it's getting awkward. A

> Mom

> > > > several houses down, keeps calling to invite my two sons over

> for

> > > > play dates. Like every day! She sends her kids over daily to

> ring

> > > > our bell (sometimes three & four times a day) and calls our

> house

> > > > every few days to arrange things. She's very nice & I don't

> want

> > to

> > > > hurt her feelings. But she keeps pairing my almost 8 year old

> AS

> > son

> > > > with her 5 yr old son. She has another son who is 9 and a

> closer

> > age

> > > > match for my son. Obviously her 9 year old has told her he's

not

> > > > interested in being buddies with my son (who by the way is a

> > really

> > > > sweet kid) So my son is stuck with the pre-kindergartener.

> Because

> > > > of his AS, I don't think my son cares.....but I do! I feel

like

> > > > this Mom is pairing them up more for her 5 year old sons

> > > > benefit....he's immature & could use an older buddy for a role

> > > > model. But my son really doesn't need to be hanging around

with

> > > > someone several years younger either.

> > > > I do have her kids over to play at my house a few times a

week.

> > They

> > > > play pretty well. I just guess I'm venting because my son is

> with

> > > > the younger boy & this Mom wants them to play way too often

for

> my

> > > > taste. How can I get this Mom to back off on getting our kids

> > > > together so often?

> > > > I know this is wrong but I'd like to exclude the younger boy

> from

> > > > invites to play at our house sometimes and only ask the boy

> > closer

> > > in

> > > > age to my son. This is the more reasonable pairing anyway. I

> think

> > > > it would be really wrong and I'd never do it but I'm so hurt

> that

> > my

> > > > son is being left out from playing with the kid closer to his

> > age! I

> > > > just need to let this Mom know I'm getting weary of her nice

but

> > > > CONSTANT attempts at this odd age match.

> > > > Thanks if you've read all of my rambeling on & on.....

> > > > Liz

> > > > Houston

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> > Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

> > Try the free Beta.

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

P.S. I have NEVER ever posted the names of my children online (for

safety issues.) I simply refer to them as son #1, #2, #3, #4 and my

daughter (she was the only girl).

What was the name of the person on the site that you visited?

> > > > >

> > > > )

> > > > > -- ( ) too many play dates & wrong age

> > > pairing

> > > > >

> > > > > I know this isn't a major problem but it's getting awkward.

A

> > Mom

> > > > > several houses down, keeps calling to invite my two sons

over

> > for

> > > > > play dates. Like every day! She sends her kids over daily

to

> > ring

> > > > > our bell (sometimes three & four times a day) and calls our

> > house

> > > > > every few days to arrange things. She's very nice & I don't

> > want

> > > to

> > > > > hurt her feelings. But she keeps pairing my almost 8 year

old

> > AS

> > > son

> > > > > with her 5 yr old son. She has another son who is 9 and a

> > closer

> > > age

> > > > > match for my son. Obviously her 9 year old has told her

he's

> not

> > > > > interested in being buddies with my son (who by the way is

a

> > > really

> > > > > sweet kid) So my son is stuck with the pre-kindergartener.

> > Because

> > > > > of his AS, I don't think my son cares.....but I do! I feel

> like

> > > > > this Mom is pairing them up more for her 5 year old sons

> > > > > benefit....he's immature & could use an older buddy for a

role

> > > > > model. But my son really doesn't need to be hanging around

> with

> > > > > someone several years younger either.

> > > > > I do have her kids over to play at my house a few times a

> week.

> > > They

> > > > > play pretty well. I just guess I'm venting because my son

is

> > with

> > > > > the younger boy & this Mom wants them to play way too often

> for

> > my

> > > > > taste. How can I get this Mom to back off on getting our

kids

> > > > > together so often?

> > > > > I know this is wrong but I'd like to exclude the younger

boy

> > from

> > > > > invites to play at our house sometimes and only ask the boy

> > > closer

> > > > in

> > > > > age to my son. This is the more reasonable pairing anyway.

I

> > think

> > > > > it would be really wrong and I'd never do it but I'm so

hurt

> > that

> > > my

> > > > > son is being left out from playing with the kid closer to

his

> > > age! I

> > > > > just need to let this Mom know I'm getting weary of her

nice

> but

> > > > > CONSTANT attempts at this odd age match.

> > > > > Thanks if you've read all of my rambeling on & on.....

> > > > > Liz

> > > > > Houston

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > ---------------------------------

> > > Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

> > > Try the free Beta.

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

I found her origional post! Go to the groups home page & check under

messages.....April's is Message #106919.

I'm so very sorry you both share this in common. Nothing could ever be

harder.

Tears,

Liz

tdhssp <johnvel@...> wrote:

P.S. I have NEVER ever posted the names of my children online (for

safety issues.) I simply refer to them as son #1, #2, #3, #4 and my

daughter (she was the only girl).

What was the name of the person on the site that you visited?

> > > > >

> > > > )

> > > > > -- ( ) too many play dates & wrong age

> > > pairing

> > > > >

> > > > > I know this isn't a major problem but it's getting awkward.

A

> > Mom

> > > > > several houses down, keeps calling to invite my two sons

over

> > for

> > > > > play dates. Like every day! She sends her kids over daily

to

> > ring

> > > > > our bell (sometimes three & four times a day) and calls our

> > house

> > > > > every few days to arrange things. She's very nice & I don't

> > want

> > > to

> > > > > hurt her feelings. But she keeps pairing my almost 8 year

old

> > AS

> > > son

> > > > > with her 5 yr old son. She has another son who is 9 and a

> > closer

> > > age

> > > > > match for my son. Obviously her 9 year old has told her

he's

> not

> > > > > interested in being buddies with my son (who by the way is

a

> > > really

> > > > > sweet kid) So my son is stuck with the pre-kindergartener.

> > Because

> > > > > of his AS, I don't think my son cares.....but I do! I feel

> like

> > > > > this Mom is pairing them up more for her 5 year old sons

> > > > > benefit....he's immature & could use an older buddy for a

role

> > > > > model. But my son really doesn't need to be hanging around

> with

> > > > > someone several years younger either.

> > > > > I do have her kids over to play at my house a few times a

> week.

> > > They

> > > > > play pretty well. I just guess I'm venting because my son

is

> > with

> > > > > the younger boy & this Mom wants them to play way too often

> for

> > my

> > > > > taste. How can I get this Mom to back off on getting our

kids

> > > > > together so often?

> > > > > I know this is wrong but I'd like to exclude the younger

boy

> > from

> > > > > invites to play at our house sometimes and only ask the boy

> > > closer

> > > > in

> > > > > age to my son. This is the more reasonable pairing anyway.

I

> > think

> > > > > it would be really wrong and I'd never do it but I'm so

hurt

> > that

> > > my

> > > > > son is being left out from playing with the kid closer to

his

> > > age! I

> > > > > just need to let this Mom know I'm getting weary of her

nice

> but

> > > > > CONSTANT attempts at this odd age match.

> > > > > Thanks if you've read all of my rambeling on & on.....

> > > > > Liz

> > > > > Houston

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > ---------------------------------

> > > Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

> > > Try the free Beta.

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

You can add me to the wimpy list too. I hate confrontations.

- C.

Mom to Cassie 16 PCOS, Austin 14 ADHD and a 3.5 HFA/AS & SPD/SID

Re: ( ) too many play dates & wrong age pairing

Stop whining, tell her to get lost if you don't want her there. Think about

this logically too, you have a person who is interested in befriending you,

but also your children. I am sure that your son could use the socialization

If she seems like she just wants another mother to take care of her kid,

then tell her to get lost.

Dave

Greer <lisalgreer@...> wrote:

Hi, Liz,

I know it's tough, but this woman is too pushy.

Everyday a week, coming by several times a day is way

too much. Sounds like she has no regard for what you

might want or feel. I would simply tell her that you

love having both boys over... and prefer the older to

come since your son is 8 and needs to socialize with

kids closer to his age BUT that you cannot watch them

everyday of the week. A few days a week would be fine.

I'm sure she will be offended, but that's honestly her

problem, not yours.

Or you can just quit answering the door when her kids

come by for a few days! Or tell them when they do that

you guys are busy for the day... several days in a

row.

She will probably take the hint then! It's my guess

that she knows that you are very nice and is taking

advantage of you.

--- Liz S <lizs.1234@...> wrote:

> I think the other Mom likes to ship several kids at

> a time out of her house since she has four kids.

> That's my guess. She doesn't even acknowledge that

> it would be possible for our sons who are closer in

> age to be buddies. She just puts her pre-k son with

> my first grader and has declared them best buddies!

> I will say her son who's in 2nd grade doesn

__________________________________________________________

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Toolbar alerts you the instant new Mail arrives.

http://tools.search./toolbar/features/mail/

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[Guest guest]

I found it... the little girl surely looks like an angel. My

condolences to this family too.

We were blessed with our own daughter's presence for 13-1/2 years

(minus 1 day). If you go to the PHOTO section in our group under

VELVET I placed a sketch of my girl (there's also one of my son).

Thank you, Liz, for your words of comfort.

> > > > > >

> > > > > )

> > > > > > -- ( ) too many play dates & wrong

age

> > > > pairing

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I know this isn't a major problem but it's getting

awkward.

> A

> > > Mom

> > > > > > several houses down, keeps calling to invite my two sons

> over

> > > for

> > > > > > play dates. Like every day! She sends her kids over daily

> to

> > > ring

> > > > > > our bell (sometimes three & four times a day) and calls

our

> > > house

> > > > > > every few days to arrange things. She's very nice & I

don't

> > > want

> > > > to

> > > > > > hurt her feelings. But she keeps pairing my almost 8 year

> old

> > > AS

> > > > son

> > > > > > with her 5 yr old son. She has another son who is 9 and a

> > > closer

> > > > age

> > > > > > match for my son. Obviously her 9 year old has told her

> he's

> > not

> > > > > > interested in being buddies with my son (who by the way

is

> a

> > > > really

> > > > > > sweet kid) So my son is stuck with the pre-

kindergartener.

> > > Because

> > > > > > of his AS, I don't think my son cares.....but I do! I

feel

> > like

> > > > > > this Mom is pairing them up more for her 5 year old sons

> > > > > > benefit....he's immature & could use an older buddy for a

> role

> > > > > > model. But my son really doesn't need to be hanging

around

> > with

> > > > > > someone several years younger either.

> > > > > > I do have her kids over to play at my house a few times a

> > week.

> > > > They

> > > > > > play pretty well. I just guess I'm venting because my son

> is

> > > with

> > > > > > the younger boy & this Mom wants them to play way too

often

> > for

> > > my

> > > > > > taste. How can I get this Mom to back off on getting our

> kids

> > > > > > together so often?

> > > > > > I know this is wrong but I'd like to exclude the younger

> boy

> > > from

> > > > > > invites to play at our house sometimes and only ask the

boy

> > > > closer

> > > > > in

> > > > > > age to my son. This is the more reasonable pairing

anyway.

> I

> > > think

> > > > > > it would be really wrong and I'd never do it but I'm so

> hurt

> > > that

> > > > my

> > > > > > son is being left out from playing with the kid closer to

> his

> > > > age! I

> > > > > > just need to let this Mom know I'm getting weary of her

> nice

> > but

> > > > > > CONSTANT attempts at this odd age match.

> > > > > > Thanks if you've read all of my rambeling on & on.....

> > > > > > Liz

> > > > > > Houston

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > ---------------------------------

> > > > Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

> > > > Try the free Beta.

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

me too, I start crying and get all tongue tied.. with confrontations..

Re: ( ) too many play dates & wrong age pairing

Stop whining, tell her to get lost if you don't want her there. Think about

this logically too, you have a person who is interested in befriending you,

but also your children. I am sure that your son could use the socialization

If she seems like she just wants another mother to take care of her kid,

then tell her to get lost.

Dave

Greer <lisalgreer@...> wrote:

Hi, Liz,

I know it's tough, but this woman is too pushy.

Everyday a week, coming by several times a day is way

too much. Sounds like she has no regard for what you

might want or feel. I would simply tell her that you

love having both boys over... and prefer the older to

come since your son is 8 and needs to socialize with

kids closer to his age BUT that you cannot watch them

everyday of the week. A few days a week would be fine.

I'm sure she will be offended, but that's honestly her

problem, not yours.

Or you can just quit answering the door when her kids

come by for a few days! Or tell them when they do that

you guys are busy for the day... several days in a

row.

She will probably take the hint then! It's my guess

that she knows that you are very nice and is taking

advantage of you.

--- Liz S <lizs.1234@...> wrote:

> I think the other Mom likes to ship several kids at

> a time out of her house since she has four kids.

> That's my guess. She doesn't even acknowledge that

> it would be possible for our sons who are closer in

> age to be buddies. She just puts her pre-k son with

> my first grader and has declared them best buddies!

> I will say her son who's in 2nd grade doesn

__________________________________________________________

Never miss an email again!

Toolbar alerts you the instant new Mail arrives.

http://tools.search./toolbar/features/mail/

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

And to make up for a childhood full of whimpiness from and

overbearing, domineering mother, I go OVERBOARD when it comes to

confrontation. NOBODY can out shout Marcia when she's on a roll..

LOOKOUT!! And it's NOT a pretty sight, and I am usually full of

regret afterwards. It's explosive and uncontrollable and SCARY.

Marcia

On Apr 6, 2007, at 2:17 PM, The s wrote:

> You can add me to the wimpy list too. I hate confrontations.

> - C.

> Mom to Cassie 16 PCOS, Austin 14 ADHD and a 3.5 HFA/AS & SPD/SID

>

> Re: ( ) too many play dates & wrong age

> pairing

>

> Stop whining, tell her to get lost if you don't want her there.

> Think about

> this logically too, you have a person who is interested in

> befriending you,

> but also your children. I am sure that your son could use the

> socialization

> If she seems like she just wants another mother to take care of

> her kid,

> then tell her to get lost.

>

> Dave

>

> Greer <lisalgreer@...> wrote:

> Hi, Liz,

> I know it's tough, but this woman is too pushy.

> Everyday a week, coming by several times a day is way

> too much. Sounds like she has no regard for what you

> might want or feel. I would simply tell her that you

> love having both boys over... and prefer the older to

> come since your son is 8 and needs to socialize with

> kids closer to his age BUT that you cannot watch them

> everyday of the week. A few days a week would be fine.

> I'm sure she will be offended, but that's honestly her

> problem, not yours.

>

> Or you can just quit answering the door when her kids

> come by for a few days! Or tell them when they do that

> you guys are busy for the day... several days in a

> row.

>

> She will probably take the hint then! It's my guess

> that she knows that you are very nice and is taking

> advantage of you.

>

>

>

> --- Liz S <lizs.1234@...> wrote:

>

>> I think the other Mom likes to ship several kids at

>> a time out of her house since she has four kids.

>> That's my guess. She doesn't even acknowledge that

>> it would be possible for our sons who are closer in

>> age to be buddies. She just puts her pre-k son with

>> my first grader and has declared them best buddies!

>> I will say her son who's in 2nd grade doesn

>

> __________________________________________________________

> Never miss an email again!

> Toolbar alerts you the instant new Mail arrives.

> http://tools.search./toolbar/features/mail/

>

> ---------------------------------

> It's here! Your new message!

> Get new email alerts with the free Toolbar.

>

>

[Guest guest]

You're welcome. :-)

I'm going to look at your baby's sketch now.

I use made up names for my family online too......I'm really not Liz, but it

sounded neat! You never know who's here & we're pretty private about this AS

situation. Plus safety reasons too.

Have a great weekend!

Liz

:-)

tdhssp <johnvel@...> wrote:

I found it... the little girl surely looks like an angel. My

condolences to this family too.

We were blessed with our own daughter's presence for 13-1/2 years

(minus 1 day). If you go to the PHOTO section in our group under

VELVET I placed a sketch of my girl (there's also one of my son).

Thank you, Liz, for your words of comfort.

> > > > > >

> > > > > )

> > > > > > -- ( ) too many play dates & wrong

age

> > > > pairing

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I know this isn't a major problem but it's getting

awkward.

> A

> > > Mom

> > > > > > several houses down, keeps calling to invite my two sons

> over

> > > for

> > > > > > play dates. Like every day! She sends her kids over daily

> to

> > > ring

> > > > > > our bell (sometimes three & four times a day) and calls

our

> > > house

> > > > > > every few days to arrange things. She's very nice & I

don't

> > > want

> > > > to

> > > > > > hurt her feelings. But she keeps pairing my almost 8 year

> old

> > > AS

> > > > son

> > > > > > with her 5 yr old son. She has another son who is 9 and a

> > > closer

> > > > age

> > > > > > match for my son. Obviously her 9 year old has told her

> he's

> > not

> > > > > > interested in being buddies with my son (who by the way

is

> a

> > > > really

> > > > > > sweet kid) So my son is stuck with the pre-

kindergartener.

> > > Because

> > > > > > of his AS, I don't think my son cares.....but I do! I

feel

> > like

> > > > > > this Mom is pairing them up more for her 5 year old sons

> > > > > > benefit....he's immature & could use an older buddy for a

> role

> > > > > > model. But my son really doesn't need to be hanging

around

> > with

> > > > > > someone several years younger either.

> > > > > > I do have her kids over to play at my house a few times a

> > week.

> > > > They

> > > > > > play pretty well. I just guess I'm venting because my son

> is

> > > with

> > > > > > the younger boy & this Mom wants them to play way too

often

> > for

> > > my

> > > > > > taste. How can I get this Mom to back off on getting our

> kids

> > > > > > together so often?

> > > > > > I know this is wrong but I'd like to exclude the younger

> boy

> > > from

> > > > > > invites to play at our house sometimes and only ask the

boy

> > > > closer

> > > > > in

> > > > > > age to my son. This is the more reasonable pairing

anyway.

> I

> > > think

> > > > > > it would be really wrong and I'd never do it but I'm so

> hurt

> > > that

> > > > my

> > > > > > son is being left out from playing with the kid closer to

> his

> > > > age! I

> > > > > > just need to let this Mom know I'm getting weary of her

> nice

> > but

> > > > > > CONSTANT attempts at this odd age match.

> > > > > > Thanks if you've read all of my rambeling on & on.....

> > > > > > Liz

> > > > > > Houston

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

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[Guest guest]

I totally get where you are coming from! I don't like confrontations although

with my abusive ex it got to the point where I would blow up and scream at him

before he had the chance to... " @ & ^$*$^@ "

- C.

Mom to Cassie 16 PCOS, Austin 14 ADHD and a 3.5 HFA/AS & SPD/SID

Re: ( ) too many play dates & wrong age

> pairing

>

> Stop whining, tell her to get lost if you don't want her there.

> Think about

> this logically too, you have a person who is interested in

> befriending you,

> but also your children. I am sure that your son could use the

> socialization

> If she seems like she just wants another mother to take care of

> her kid,

> then tell her to get lost.

>

> Dave

>

> Greer <lisalgreer@...> wrote:

> Hi, Liz,

> I know it's tough, but this woman is too pushy.

> Everyday a week, coming by several times a day is way

> too much. Sounds like she has no regard for what you

> might want or feel. I would simply tell her that you

> love having both boys over... and prefer the older to

> come since your son is 8 and needs to socialize with

> kids closer to his age BUT that you cannot watch them

> everyday of the week. A few days a week would be fine.

> I'm sure she will be offended, but that's honestly her

> problem, not yours.

>

> Or you can just quit answering the door when her kids

> come by for a few days! Or tell them when they do that

> you guys are busy for the day... several days in a

> row.

>

> She will probably take the hint then! It's my guess

> that she knows that you are very nice and is taking

> advantage of you.

>

>

>

> --- Liz S <lizs.1234@...> wrote:

>

>> I think the other Mom likes to ship several kids at

>> a time out of her house since she has four kids.

>> That's my guess. She doesn't even acknowledge that

>> it would be possible for our sons who are closer in

>> age to be buddies. She just puts her pre-k son with

>> my first grader and has declared them best buddies!

>> I will say her son who's in 2nd grade doesn

>

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[Guest guest]

Marcia,

that might not be a bad thing.

Marcia <marciart@...> wrote:

And to make up for a childhood full of whimpiness from and

overbearing, domineering mother, I go OVERBOARD when it comes to

confrontation. NOBODY can out shout Marcia when she's on a roll..

LOOKOUT!! And it's NOT a pretty sight, and I am usually full of

regret afterwards. It's explosive and uncontrollable and SCARY.

Marcia

On Apr 6, 2007, at 2:17 PM, The s wrote:

> You can add me to the wimpy list too. I hate confrontations.

> - C.

> Mom to Cassie 16 PCOS, Austin 14 ADHD and a 3.5 HFA/AS & SPD/SID

>

> Re: ( ) too many play dates & wrong age

> pairing

>

> Stop whining, tell her to get lost if you don't want her there.

> Think about

> this logically too, you have a person who is interested in

> befriending you,

> but also your children. I am sure that your son could use the

> socialization

> If she seems like she just wants another mother to take care of

> her kid,

> then tell her to get lost.

>

> Dave

>

> Greer <lisalgreer@...> wrote:

> Hi, Liz,

> I know it's tough, but this woman is too pushy.

> Everyday a week, coming by several times a day is way

> too much. Sounds like she has no regard for what you

> might want or feel. I would simply tell her that you

> love having both boys over... and prefer the older to

> come since your son is 8 and needs to socialize with

> kids closer to his age BUT that you cannot watch them

> everyday of the week. A few days a week would be fine.

> I'm sure she will be offended, but that's honestly her

> problem, not yours.

>

> Or you can just quit answering the door when her kids

> come by for a few days! Or tell them when they do that

> you guys are busy for the day... several days in a

> row.

>

> She will probably take the hint then! It's my guess

> that she knows that you are very nice and is taking

> advantage of you.

>

>

>

> --- Liz S <lizs.1234@...> wrote:

>

>> I think the other Mom likes to ship several kids at

>> a time out of her house since she has four kids.

>> That's my guess. She doesn't even acknowledge that

>> it would be possible for our sons who are closer in

>> age to be buddies. She just puts her pre-k son with

>> my first grader and has declared them best buddies!

>> I will say her son who's in 2nd grade doesn

>

> __________________________________________________________

> Never miss an email again!

> Toolbar alerts you the instant new Mail arrives.

> http://tools.search./toolbar/features/mail/

>

> ---------------------------------

> It's here! Your new message!

> Get new email alerts with the free Toolbar.

>

>

[Guest guest]

My 14 yr old prefers to play with kids 3 to 4 yrs younger than he is.

They are more like minded I think. Blake doesn't think on the same

terms as kids his own age. Blake still likes to go outside and " play " .

Blake also enjoys spending time with adults. My thought is that maybe

your son knows better than anyone who he feels more comfortable

playing with. Ask him.

>

> I know this isn't a major problem but it's getting awkward. A Mom

> several houses down, keeps calling to invite my two sons over for

> play dates. Like every day! She sends her kids over daily to ring

> our bell (sometimes three & four times a day) and calls our house

> every few days to arrange things. She's very nice & I don't want to

> hurt her feelings. But she keeps pairing my almost 8 year old AS son

> with her 5 yr old son. She has another son who is 9 and a closer age

> match for my son. Obviously her 9 year old has told her he's not

> interested in being buddies with my son (who by the way is a really

> sweet kid) So my son is stuck with the pre-kindergartener. Because

> of his AS, I don't think my son cares.....but I do! I feel like

> this Mom is pairing them up more for her 5 year old sons

> benefit....he's immature & could use an older buddy for a role

> model. But my son really doesn't need to be hanging around with

> someone several years younger either.

> I do have her kids over to play at my house a few times a week. They

> play pretty well. I just guess I'm venting because my son is with

> the younger boy & this Mom wants them to play way too often for my

> taste. How can I get this Mom to back off on getting our kids

> together so often?

> I know this is wrong but I'd like to exclude the younger boy from

> invites to play at our house sometimes and only ask the boy closer in

> age to my son. This is the more reasonable pairing anyway. I think

> it would be really wrong and I'd never do it but I'm so hurt that my

> son is being left out from playing with the kid closer to his age! I

> just need to let this Mom know I'm getting weary of her nice but

> CONSTANT attempts at this odd age match.

> Thanks if you've read all of my rambeling on & on.....

> Liz

> Houston

>