Why are our kids missing school?

April 29, 2006

Good Morning,

Why are are kids missing school? I thought I was alone... Our son just

doesn't want to go. When I ask him why he tells me he doesn't know? That seems

to be the answer for everything. I DON'T KNOW!!!!

Blessings,

Mimi

---------------------------------

On 7

360°: Your own space to share what you want with who you want!

April 30, 2006

>

> Good Morning,

>

> Why are are kids missing school? I thought I was alone... Our

son just doesn't want to go. When I ask him why he tells me he

doesn't know? That seems to be the answer for everything. I DON'T

KNOW!!!!

>

> Blessings,

> Mimi

Mimi,

How old is your son?

This sounds very similar to my son. He is extremely verbal, but

cannot say things like, " I don't want to go to school because Joe

picked on me all last week and I don't like that. " It's like you

have to become a detective. Is he refusing school because he's being

a kid or is there something happening there that is upsetting him,

but he can't articulate it?

A lot of times, I would simply let him ramble on to me about what

happened in school or help him tell me about his day moment by

moment. Then a problem would spill out and after some more

questioning, it would become apparent what the problem was. Or I

would have to try to talk to the other kids at school (if your son

has a few friends) to see what they have to say. As a final option,

I would ask the teacher.

Over the years while my ds was in public school we had a lot of times

when he didn't want to go to school. One time was when a teacher had

told him that she was going to work them (her students) to death in

math -- son was upset and didn't want to go to school (he thought he

was going to die) and it took us 2 weeks to discover why. Other

times there have been issues of bullying and we had to find out from

other kids that these things were going on -- ds just told us he

didn't want to go to school.

Our ds is now 12 and we still have this issue of noncommunication.

Of course since ds is homeschooled now, it is not as big of an issue.

Good luck.

C

May 1, 2006

Our answer for everything around here is I don't feel good or I don't

know. When one of the boys says I don't feel good I ask does your head

hurt? No, Stomach? No... I just don't feel good all over. Now, with

n this *may* be possible I guess because I saw a on a commercial

where depression does make you feel bad all over...I really need to do

more research on teenage depression, but I have concentrated most of my

research on aspergers..It seems to me the more I read on here about all

the things that are going on with my kids is that it is not uncommon

but *common* with aspergers. You are definately not alone. Alot of us

are fighting and plugging along with you... Toni

usa4Him wrote:

> Good Morning,

>

> Why are are kids missing school? I thought I was alone... Our son

> just doesn't want to go. When I ask him why he tells me he doesn't

> know? That seems to be the answer for everything. I DON'T KNOW!!!!

>

> Blessings,

> Mimi

>

> ---------------------------------

> On 7

> 360°: Your own space to share what you want with who you want!

>

May 3, 2006

Hi Mimi,

My son knows why. He doesn't have any friends. He's very, very

depressed, and he's bored.

Liz

On Apr 29, 2006, at 7:34 AM, usa4Him wrote:

> Good Morning,

>

> Why are are kids missing school? I thought I was alone... Our son

> just doesn't want to go. When I ask him why he tells me he doesn't

> know? That seems to be the answer for everything. I DON'T KNOW!!!!

>

> Blessings,

> Mimi

May 3, 2006

What about the kids who want desperately to have friends and fit in, so like

my son, wants to go to school, but every time we have a disagreement at the

table during an IEP meeting they put him on homebound until the agreement can be

settled.

Two years in a row they placed our ds on homebound from February until May.

That is alot of missed school. They provided 4 hours per week of instructional

time.

No wonder things are getting worse.

Liz Bohn <lbohn@...> wrote:

Hi Mimi,

My son knows why. He doesn't have any friends. He's very, very

depressed, and he's bored.

Liz

On Apr 29, 2006, at 7:34 AM, usa4Him wrote:

> Good Morning,

>

> Why are are kids missing school? I thought I was alone... Our son

> just doesn't want to go. When I ask him why he tells me he doesn't

> know? That seems to be the answer for everything. I DON'T KNOW!!!!

>

> Blessings,

> Mimi

May 4, 2006

In a message dated 5/3/2006 10:05:51 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

mabwhite89@... writes:

What about the kids who want desperately to have friends and fit in, so like

my son, wants to go to school, but every time we have a disagreement at the

table during an IEP meeting they put him on homebound until the agreement can

be settled.

Have you filed a state complaint? Pam

May 4, 2006

I'm sorry to sound niave but what on earth is " homebound " ?

Beck

Re: ( ) Why are our kids missing school?

What about the kids who want desperately to have friends and fit in, so like

my son, wants to go to school, but every time we have a disagreement at the

table during an IEP meeting they put him on homebound until the agreement can be

settled.

Two years in a row they placed our ds on homebound from February until May.

That is alot of missed school. They provided 4 hours per week of instructional

time.

No wonder things are getting worse.

Liz Bohn <lbohn@...> wrote:

Hi Mimi,

My son knows why. He doesn't have any friends. He's very, very

depressed, and he's bored.

Liz

On Apr 29, 2006, at 7:34 AM, usa4Him wrote:

> Good Morning,

>

> Why are are kids missing school? I thought I was alone... Our son

> just doesn't want to go. When I ask him why he tells me he doesn't

> know? That seems to be the answer for everything. I DON'T KNOW!!!!

>

> Blessings,

> Mimi

May 4, 2006

> but every time we have a disagreement at the table during an IEP

>meeting they put him on homebound until the agreement can be

>settled. Two years in a row they placed our ds on homebound from

>February until May. That is alot of missed school. They provided

>4 hours per week of instructional time. No wonder things are

>getting worse.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Marsha,

That is just not right and I would have sat there at the table

until they agreed to give him FAPE. As sending him home is not an

Appropriate Education in my book. I would not have signed anything

at that meeting. How old is your son

Here they only do Homebound 2 hours a week and the social worker

told me that my son would fall way behind if we did this. That is

why I decided to Homeschool him as there are other things going on

as well... Email me and I can tell you all about it if you like.

Marj whos son is 10 and going 7th grade work.

May 4, 2006

HEY a phrase I use with my kids.. Is.. The ONLY STUPID QUESTION IS>> THE ONE

UN ASKED!!!

As for homebound?? I am not sure either.. Awaiting an answer too! Glad you

asked.

-- Re: ( ) Why are our kids missing school?

I'm sorry to sound niave but what on earth is " homebound " ?

Beck

Re: ( ) Why are our kids missing school?

What about the kids who want desperately to have friends and fit in, so

like my son, wants to go to school, but every time we have a disagreement at

the table during an IEP meeting they put him on homebound until the

agreement can be settled.

Two years in a row they placed our ds on homebound from February until

May. That is alot of missed school. They provided 4 hours per week of

instructional time.

No wonder things are getting worse.

Liz Bohn <lbohn@...> wrote:

Hi Mimi,

My son knows why. He doesn't have any friends. He's very, very

depressed, and he's bored.

Liz

On Apr 29, 2006, at 7:34 AM, usa4Him wrote:

> Good Morning,

>

> Why are are kids missing school? I thought I was alone... Our son

> just doesn't want to go. When I ask him why he tells me he doesn't

> know? That seems to be the answer for everything. I DON'T KNOW!!!!

>

> Blessings,

> Mimi

May 4, 2006

That sounds like guerilla tactics to me. Is this the least restrictive

envronment for him? I don't think so. Three months is a long time in

the life of a child.

Liz

On May 3, 2006, at 7:05 PM, Marsha White wrote:

>

> What about the kids who want desperately to have friends and fit in,

> so like my son, wants to go to school, but every time we have a

> disagreement at the table during an IEP meeting they put him on

> homebound until the agreement can be settled.

>

> Two years in a row they placed our ds on homebound from February

> until May. That is alot of missed school. They provided 4 hours per

> week of instructional time.

>

> No wonder things are getting worse.

May 4, 2006

Not yet, but trust me, it is coming. We have an IEP meeting on May 15th.

I am taking our therapist with us to address some of the major concerns. His

placement and program is top of the list. After the meeting, we are going to

take action. I am sure they are not bad people, but they have to be held

accountable for the decisions they make. They play a major role in shaping the

lives of these kids.

ppanda65@... wrote:

In a message dated 5/3/2006 10:05:51 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

mabwhite89@... writes:

What about the kids who want desperately to have friends and fit in, so like

my son, wants to go to school, but every time we have a disagreement at the

table during an IEP meeting they put him on homebound until the agreement can

be settled.

Have you filed a state complaint? Pam

May 4, 2006

The student does not go to school, but a teacher comes to the student's house

for x number of hours per week. It was designed for students who have been

injured, had surgery or are sick and can not physically go to school.

Mark son <thejacobsons@...> wrote:

I'm sorry to sound niave but what on earth is " homebound " ?

Beck

Re: ( ) Why are our kids missing school?

What about the kids who want desperately to have friends and fit in, so like

my son, wants to go to school, but every time we have a disagreement at the

table during an IEP meeting they put him on homebound until the agreement can be

settled.

Two years in a row they placed our ds on homebound from February until May.

That is alot of missed school. They provided 4 hours per week of instructional

time.

No wonder things are getting worse.

Liz Bohn <lbohn@...> wrote:

Hi Mimi,

My son knows why. He doesn't have any friends. He's very, very

depressed, and he's bored.

Liz

On Apr 29, 2006, at 7:34 AM, usa4Him wrote:

> Good Morning,

>

> Why are are kids missing school? I thought I was alone... Our son

> just doesn't want to go. When I ask him why he tells me he doesn't

> know? That seems to be the answer for everything. I DON'T KNOW!!!!

>

> Blessings,

> Mimi

May 4, 2006

I completely agree. Much too long.

Liz Bohn <lbohn@...> wrote:

That sounds like guerilla tactics to me. Is this the least restrictive

envronment for him? I don't think so. Three months is a long time in

the life of a child.

Liz

On May 3, 2006, at 7:05 PM, Marsha White wrote:

>

> What about the kids who want desperately to have friends and fit in,

> so like my son, wants to go to school, but every time we have a

> disagreement at the table during an IEP meeting they put him on

> homebound until the agreement can be settled.

>

> Two years in a row they placed our ds on homebound from February

> until May. That is alot of missed school. They provided 4 hours per

> week of instructional time.

>

> No wonder things are getting worse.

May 4, 2006

Homebound should not be an option… why are they doing this?

You do not have to accept that… They must educate the children, and in a

school setting, what if you are not home during the day to keep your child

homebound.

I do not believe that they have a right to force your child to be homebound

just because you can not agree on an IEP. You might have legal recourse in

your state, I would check it out!

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Marsha White

Sent: Thursday, May 04, 2006 3:55 PM

Subject: Re: ( ) Why are our kids missing school?

I completely agree. Much too long.

Liz Bohn <lbohn@...> wrote:

That sounds like guerilla tactics to me. Is this the least restrictive

envronment for him? I don't think so. Three months is a long time in

the life of a child.

Liz

On May 3, 2006, at 7:05 PM, Marsha White wrote:

>

> What about the kids who want desperately to have friends and fit in,

> so like my son, wants to go to school, but every time we have a

> disagreement at the table during an IEP meeting they put him on

> homebound until the agreement can be settled.

>

> Two years in a row they placed our ds on homebound from February

> until May. That is alot of missed school. They provided 4 hours per

> week of instructional time.

>

> No wonder things are getting worse.

May 4, 2006

IT SURE DOES!!! My god.. Its like they are on STRIKE because you want your

childs rights recognized

-- Re: ( ) Why are our kids missing school?

That sounds like guerilla tactics to me. Is this the least restrictive

envronment for him? I don't think so. Three months is a long time in

the life of a child.

Liz

On May 3, 2006, at 7:05 PM, Marsha White wrote:

>

> What about the kids who want desperately to have friends and fit in,

> so like my son, wants to go to school, but every time we have a

> disagreement at the table during an IEP meeting they put him on

> homebound until the agreement can be settled.

>

> Two years in a row they placed our ds on homebound from February

> until May. That is alot of missed school. They provided 4 hours per

> week of instructional time.

>

> No wonder things are getting worse.

May 4, 2006

That is the plan. My therapist is going to our IEP meeting next week to

address their neglect in our son's case. I have already contacted a Spec. Ed.

attorney in Atlanta.

<etay58@...> wrote:

Homebound should not be an option… why are they doing this?

You do not have to accept that… They must educate the children, and in a

school setting, what if you are not home during the day to keep your child

homebound.

I do not believe that they have a right to force your child to be homebound

just because you can not agree on an IEP. You might have legal recourse in

your state, I would check it out!

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Marsha White

Sent: Thursday, May 04, 2006 3:55 PM

Subject: Re: ( ) Why are our kids missing school?

I completely agree. Much too long.

Liz Bohn <lbohn@...> wrote:

That sounds like guerilla tactics to me. Is this the least restrictive

envronment for him? I don't think so. Three months is a long time in

the life of a child.

Liz

On May 3, 2006, at 7:05 PM, Marsha White wrote:

>

> What about the kids who want desperately to have friends and fit in,

> so like my son, wants to go to school, but every time we have a

> disagreement at the table during an IEP meeting they put him on

> homebound until the agreement can be settled.

>

> Two years in a row they placed our ds on homebound from February

> until May. That is alot of missed school. They provided 4 hours per

> week of instructional time.

>

> No wonder things are getting worse.

May 4, 2006

I would love to hear how your meeting goes, please be sure and let us know,

my son is 14, Asperger's ADHD and BIPOLAR, he has D's and F's in all of his

core classes this year, struggling with his Teachers too, they or some just do

not cut him any kind of slack whatsoever for anything, he has NO IEP, and I

have asked to have him tested for special education, and guess what I was

told???? ACADEMICALLY he does not qualify, yep that's what they said, they may

be able to get something set up if he qualifies for OTHER RELATED HEALTH

SERVICES.......maybe but they are unable to get the testing done now before

school

is out this year, so all of this is being put off now until the fall....so

it will fall through the cracks.......just the way they want it I

guess........ the counselor at the school also said they can put help right in

front of

his nose.....every single day and he won't take it, this help he is talking

about comes after school from 3:30pm to 5:30pm, in a after school help

program..... and I have read many books and stories on Asperger's stating this

is the

worst time of the day to expect a child like this to do homework, they are

just unable to be at school from 8 am until 5:30 pm at night, that is asking a

lot I think but maybe I am just making excuses, but for God's sake why can't

the help be during the day.........not after school, its unreal how many of

these schools just don't get it.

The kids suffer horribly because they don't fit into the little black box of

school life.

May 4, 2006

--Who are you getting as a lawyer. I have two sons with As. is

12years old and is 10 years old. I am also have problems and

might have to have a lawyer. I live in ding County.

I live and believe there is a place for everyone including my sons.

- In , Marsha White <mabwhite89@...>

wrote:

>

> That is the plan. My therapist is going to our IEP meeting next

week to address their neglect in our son's case. I have already

contacted a Spec. Ed. attorney in Atlanta.

>

> <etay58@...> wrote:

>

> Homebound should not be an option… why are they doing this?

>

> You do not have to accept that… They must educate the children, and in a

> school setting, what if you are not home during the day to keep your

child

> homebound.

>

> I do not believe that they have a right to force your child to be

homebound

> just because you can not agree on an IEP. You might have legal

recourse in

> your state, I would check it out!

>

> _____

>

> From:

> [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Marsha White

> Sent: Thursday, May 04, 2006 3:55 PM

>

> Subject: Re: ( ) Why are our kids missing school?

>

> I completely agree. Much too long.

>

> Liz Bohn <lbohn@...> wrote:

> That sounds like guerilla tactics to me. Is this the least

restrictive

> envronment for him? I don't think so. Three months is a long time in

> the life of a child.

>

> Liz

>

> On May 3, 2006, at 7:05 PM, Marsha White wrote:

>

> >

> > What about the kids who want desperately to have friends and fit

in,

> > so like my son, wants to go to school, but every time we have a

> > disagreement at the table during an IEP meeting they put him on

> > homebound until the agreement can be settled.

> >

> > Two years in a row they placed our ds on homebound from February

> > until May. That is alot of missed school. They provided 4 hours per

> > week of instructional time.

> >

> > No wonder things are getting worse.

>

May 5, 2006

Unfortunately it's not available everywhere, though here in CA, we have

charter schools and some public programs but the teachers, from what I

hear, only visit once a month and it's visitation/supervision only, not

teaching. Teachers are not provided here in almost any homeschooling

program, even if it's a public-school run one, there's just no funds for

it. Even when I had a child on independent study after a major illness,

nothing more was available other than reaching her teacher by

phone/email if we had a question about the packet of work sent home.

Marsha White wrote:

>

> The student does not go to school, but a teacher comes to the student's

house for x number of hours per week. It was designed for students who have

been injured, had surgery or are sick and can not physically go to school.

>

May 9, 2006

Actually, in California, if kids are likely to be home for more than

two weeks (I think it's two weeks, I'm not sure about the length of

time), a teacher is sent out to the house to teach twice a week. We did

this for my daughter in her sophomore year of high school when she had

her mystery disease and was confined to her bed for a year. They sent

an English teacher, which she DIDN'T need, and who COULDN'T teach

chemistry or Spanish, but whaddya want?

Liz

On May 5, 2006, at 2:02 PM, Donna B wrote:

> Unfortunately it's not available everywhere, though here in CA, we have

> charter schools and some public programs but the teachers, from what I

> hear, only visit once a month and it's visitation/supervision only, not

> teaching. Teachers are not provided here in almost any homeschooling

> program, even if it's a public-school run one, there's just no funds

> for

> it. Even when I had a child on independent study after a major illness,

> nothing more was available other than reaching her teacher by

> phone/email if we had a question about the packet of work sent home.

>

> Marsha White wrote:

>>

>> The student does not go to school, but a teacher comes to the

>> student's house for x number of hours per week. It was designed for

>> students who have been injured, had surgery or are sick and can not

>> physically go to school.

>>

>

May 9, 2006

Have you gone over the head of the person that told you he could not

qualify? If he has D's and F's (as mine do ) that seems quite obvious to

me that he DOES need help.I feel your frustration! My kids are just now

finished with their testing that I requested in Oct.!!I also agree about

making them stay after school. One of my 17 yo.s comes home and goes to

bed almost everyday after school because school takes so much out of

him. I would call the state dept of Ed (if thats not who you already

called) and see if they can help.My kids teachers complain too about my

kids not staying after school. They don't understand aspergers, they

think I am making excuses for them being LAZY! If they only could see

what mornings are around here with me begging, pleading, Bren to GO to

school they would not expect him to stay that long. And one teacher

asked me after n had missed so many days at school because of

depression. Just what exactly does he do all day? I said hes in the bed

unless I can make him get up.. She said oh, he's laying in bed watching

tv all day? NO!! I wanted to wipe that suspicious little grin off her

face. But I said no he is in bed day and night and won't even eat unless

I make him...What state are you in? Maybe some of us could help you do a

little research to get some help for your son!! Hang in there! Toni

CLNALT@... wrote:

> I would love to hear how your meeting goes, please be sure and let us

> know,

> my son is 14, Asperger's ADHD and BIPOLAR, he has D's and F's in all

> of his

> core classes this year, struggling with his Teachers too, they or

> some just do

> not cut him any kind of slack whatsoever for anything, he has NO IEP,

> and I

> have asked to have him tested for special education, and guess what I

> was

> told???? ACADEMICALLY he does not qualify, yep that's what they said,

> they may

> be able to get something set up if he qualifies for OTHER RELATED HEALTH

> SERVICES.......maybe but they are unable to get the testing done now

> before school

> is out this year, so all of this is being put off now until the

> fall....so

> it will fall through the cracks.......just the way they want it I

> guess........ the counselor at the school also said they can put help

> right in front of

> his nose.....every single day and he won't take it, this help he is

> talking

> about comes after school from 3:30pm to 5:30pm, in a after school help

> program..... and I have read many books and stories on Asperger's

> stating this is the

> worst time of the day to expect a child like this to do homework,

> they are

> just unable to be at school from 8 am until 5:30 pm at night, that is

> asking a

> lot I think but maybe I am just making excuses, but for God's sake

> why can't

> the help be during the day.........not after school, its unreal how

> many of

> these schools just don't get it.

> The kids suffer horribly because they don't fit into the little black

> box of

> school life.

>

May 9, 2006

Sorry for the late reply. Been busy and haven't been able to check my mail.

Now for your reply......]

WHAT?????!!!!!!????

Your child has a diagnosis of Asperger's, ADHD and Bipolar and they said that

he does not qualify academically??????

Other Health Impaired????

No Way! He qualifies for services under Autism with a diagnosis of

Asperger's.

The ADHD and Bipolar fall under Other Health Impaired.

It infuriates me the things they will do to stall in providing services.

Someone needs to wake these people up and make them realize they are not just

dealing with a " budget " but a child's " LIFE. "

Sorry for the explosion.

As much spare time as you have, you need to read, read, read...and ask

questions.

As questions here and to local parents.

I don't know what state you live in (I am in Georgia) but it seems that he

should not have to go through the whole summer before he is tested. I would

call your state Dept of Ed. and ask if special education testing is done during

the summer months. If so, I would your request in writing to the Special Ed

director and ask for the testing to be expedited. If you get no reply quickly,

call the Superintendent (that's what I did). State that you want this done

quickly so that your child will have services arranged for the upcoming school

year. You can also note in your letter that your child is not progressing and

is falling further and further behind and it would be in his best interest to

have services in place by August so that he can begin to make improvements.

Also....document everything. I mean everything!!!

Hope that helps. I am sure there have been other responses with good advice.

Marsha