Meltdowns

June 26, 2007

Thanks Liz!

Re: ( ) Re: meltdowns

Hi Kirsten,

Welcome to the group! It's pretty well understood that Asperger's

Syndrome is a genetic phenomenon and not caused by bad parenting. You'll

learn, over time, how to help her get along and grow, but it most

definitely is not your fault. I have a 19 year old son who has

Asperger's. He has just finished his freshman year in college, and made

the Dean's List! I'm glad you've joined us!

Liz

On Jun 25, 2007, at 7:56 PM, McClure, Kirsten wrote:

Hi-

My name is Kirsten...and I just found out that my oldest,

, has

Asperbergers. Since I found out a few days ago, I have felt very

down

in the dumps and keep wondering what I have done to cause this.

The

little that I have read so far basically says that they don't

know what

causes it but as a parent we love our children and always feel

responsible when something happens to them. I guess I am looking

for

support and advise from other parents out there. It is nice not

to feel

alone in this. Thank you! Kirsten

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June 26, 2007

-

I can totally relate to what you said about your daughter and school.

School has turned into a place that my daughter just doesn't feel

comfortable. My daughter just turned 8 and was just diagnosed with

Aspergers. Now, hopefully, an I.E.P. in the fall will help shed some

light to the school on what is going on with her so they help her rather

than make things worse. Thanks for your insight. Kirsten

Re: ( ) Re: meltdowns

...very good points about the difference between tantrums and

meltdowns. My daughter is generally good at home and with me..it's like

I am her safety net. If I am there, she can deal. It's school, camp,

parties, etc. She is good much of the time, though. I believe the school

system has made her much worse. Her anxiety got out of control in first

grade...she seems worse now than she was when she was four. She just

turned 7. I have to prethink everything. Leaving places is the issue I

struggle with the most.

And if you need water

I'll Be A River

Like a wave I will come over you

You need someone to fall into

I'll Be A River

And my love will carry you through

(I'll Be Your River)~cyndi lauper~

Re: ( ) Re: meltdowns

I have tried to explain to friends and family the difference

between a tantrum and a meltdown.

When I (and most other people) think of tantrums, they think of

the spoiled child in the store wanting a toy and his parent says no. So

begins the tantrum FOR a toy. My daughter does not do this.

Her meltdowns usually are from overstimulation or being touched

unexpectantly or noises that she can't stand or somoene laughing or

crowded places, etc. More than likely the meltdown will start gradually

and work up quickly to a fullblown out of control on the floor kicking

screaming holding her ears... It starts with her averting her eyes,

looking at the floor. Then covering her head or ears. Then crying,

screaming, to hitting, to falling to the floor.

I have had people say she is getting something out of it. I just

can't believe this. I have suggested to her hey let's go to the toy

section and pick out a toy or let's go find your fave snack to calm her

but nothing calms her. She isn't wanting something. It isn't a tantrum

to get something. I wish it were!

Bad days for my daughter are meltdown city over everything. Good

days I am amazed that she can handle the things that just upset her the

day before. I feel I am walking on eggshells preparing to pick her up

and take her home where she is normally fine! Home is a calm place for

her. Even though she begs to go places often, she typically has issues

out of the house.

sza25 <sza25@...> wrote:

Hi,

Ys that would be a meltdown. My daughters at times, get

very upset and

will show anger and pull my hand and try to get away

from situations

that are too overwhelming.

Meltdowns I think will be emotional outburts, tantrums,

aggressiveness

and any change in their behavior.

Ima

>

> can someone explain exactly what a " meltdown " is? is

it when they

have a tantrum or emotional outburst like w/my son,

antha, who is 7, he

still had trouble w/music class. is hwat he does -

covering his ears,

screaming, crying, telling the teacher to be quiet, to

stop playing the

musci etc - is that a meltdown? thanks.

>

> jeanette

>

> ---------------------------------

> Get the free toolbar and rest assured with the

added security

of spyware protection.

>

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it is addressed, and may contain information that is privileged, confidential

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June 26, 2007

My daughter also has huge issues with leaving anywhere--even if she can 't handle the situation. She fights me and wants to stay. When I say she has issues with transitions, no one gets it since she almost never has issues with COMING into a situation. Always going is a problem. One thing that I have always said to everyone who suggested that my daughter was doing this for attention is that there is no way. No one would be this miserable for this much of the time on purpose!!! She is an only child and I am a single mom. She has always had my full attention. I don't work. She is my job. ;O) Making sure she has everything she needs to improve her life. I personally take her back and forth to therapies and back and forth to activities. I homeschool. I work with her at home--occupational therapy. When I do have help, it is someone to come in to stay at home with her while I run errands/pay bills. Not much time

away at all from her. So she HAS my attention. I just don't believe this is attention seeking behavior. She was never in day care, rarely in a school setting--I pulled her out quickly as it wasn't working out. She has been my #1 priority from the day she was born. Needless to say, I still blame myself!!! Ugh. It is like I can never do enough for her. That somehow I caused her to be like this. It seems like people blame me and you just can't help but internalize this after a while. Or like today was a bad day, I was irritable, my daughter was having a bad day. I was impatient with her and feel I made things worse. (Anyone have some tips on her wanting to get dressed in a timely manner so we aren't late for everything?) Neylon <Lindee37@...> wrote: ...very good points about the difference between tantrums and meltdowns. My daughter is generally good at home and with me..it's like I am her safety net. If I am there, she can deal. It's school, camp, parties, etc. She is good much of the time, though. I believe the school system has made her much worse. Her anxiety got out of control in first grade...she seems worse now than she was when she was four. She just turned 7. I have to prethink everything. Leaving places is the issue I struggle with the most. And if you need waterI'll Be A RiverLike a wave I will come over youYou need someone to fall intoI'll Be A RiverAnd my love will carry you through(I'll Be Your River)~cyndi lauper~ Re: ( ) Re: meltdowns I have tried to explain to friends and family the difference between a tantrum

and a meltdown. When I (and most other people) think of tantrums, they think of the spoiled child in the store wanting a toy and his parent says no. So begins the tantrum FOR a toy. My daughter does not do this. Her meltdowns usually are from overstimulation or being touched unexpectantly or noises that she can't stand or somoene laughing or crowded places, etc. More than likely the meltdown will start gradually and work up quickly to a fullblown out of control on the floor kicking screaming holding her ears... It starts with her averting her eyes, looking at the floor. Then covering her head or ears. Then crying, screaming, to hitting, to falling to the floor. I have had people say she is getting something out of it. I just can't believe this. I have suggested to her hey let's go to the toy section and pick out a toy or let's go find your fave snack to calm her

but nothing calms her. She isn't wanting something. It isn't a tantrum to get something. I wish it were! Bad days for my daughter are meltdown city over everything. Good days I am amazed that she can handle the things that just upset her the day before. I feel I am walking on eggshells preparing to pick her up and take her home where she is normally fine! Home is a calm place for her. Even though she begs to go places often, she typically has issues out of the house. sza25 <sza25 > wrote: Hi,Ys that would be a meltdown. My daughters at times, get very upset and will show anger and pull my hand and try to get away from situations that are too overwhelming.Meltdowns I think will be emotional outburts, tantrums, aggressiveness and any

change in their behavior.Ima>> can someone explain exactly what a "meltdown" is? is it when they have a tantrum or emotional outburst like w/my son, antha, who is 7, he still had trouble w/music class. is hwat he does - covering his ears, screaming, crying, telling the teacher to be quiet, to stop playing the musci etc - is that a meltdown? thanks. > > jeanette> > > ---------------------------------> Get the free toolbar and rest assured with the added security of spyware protection.> Expecting? Get great news right away with email Auto-Check.Try the Beta.

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June 26, 2007

..how old is your daughter? I could never spend that much time with my kid. I would go crazy, I give you credit. I am mad because when I sent her to camp yesterday (she was really psyched to go) we found out the pool was broken and it would be a few days before it was fixed. Now she did okay yesterday, but today is so hot I just could not send her to camp without being able to swim. She gets irritable if she is hot and I didn't want her to have a meltdown there. She is 7. (just) I am a single Mom, but I am a teacher. She has been in daycare from day 1. I didn't have problems until I put her in a "formal" daycare at 2.5...then the complaints started right away....she cries, can't transition, poor fine motor, etc. Then she seemed fine for a while (great daycare teachers) then totally melted down at 4.5 and by 5 was having full-blown tantrums at daycare. Since then it has been a total nightmare with school except for about 8 months in Kindergarten where she seemed to do okay. (weird) Does anyone else have a child who does okay for a while and then the problems resurface again? I am very unhappy with my town and their school system. I think they have made things much worse for her. A friend of mine is pulling her kid out of the public and putting him in Montessori she is so upset and her kid doesn't even have the problems mine does.

It's a nightmare.

I do think your daughter needs to "practice" her social skills.....so just keep taking her places-does she read? Can you do social stories?

And if you need waterI'll Be A RiverLike a wave I will come over youYou need someone to fall intoI'll Be A RiverAnd my love will carry you through(I'll Be Your River)~cyndi lauper~

Re: ( ) Re: meltdowns

I have tried to explain to friends and family the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown.

When I (and most other people) think of tantrums, they think of the spoiled child in the store wanting a toy and his parent says no. So begins the tantrum FOR a toy. My daughter does not do this.

Her meltdowns usually are from overstimulation or being touched unexpectantly or noises that she can't stand or somoene laughing or crowded places, etc. More than likely the meltdown will start gradually and work up quickly to a fullblown out of control on the floor kicking screaming holding her ears... It starts with her averting her eyes, looking at the floor. Then covering her head or ears. Then crying, screaming, to hitting, to falling to the floor.

I have had people say she is getting something out of it. I just can't believe this. I have suggested to her hey let's go to the toy section and pick out a toy or let's go find your fave snack to calm her but nothing calms her. She isn't wanting something. It isn't a tantrum to get something. I wish it were!

Bad days for my daughter are meltdown city over everything. Good days I am amazed that she can handle the things that just upset her the day before. I feel I am walking on eggshells preparing to pick her up and take her home where she is normally fine! Home is a calm place for her. Even though she begs to go places often, she typically has issues out of the house. sza25 <sza25 > wrote:

Hi,Ys that would be a meltdown. My daughters at times, get very upset and will show anger and pull my hand and try to get away from situations that are too overwhelming.Meltdowns I think will be emotional outburts, tantrums, aggressiveness and any change in their behavior.Ima>> can someone explain exactly what a "meltdown" is? is it when they have a tantrum or emotional outburst like w/my son, antha, who is 7, he still had trouble w/music class. is hwat he does - covering his ears, screaming, crying, telling the teacher to be quiet, to stop playing the musci etc - is that a meltdown? thanks. > > jeanette> > > ---------------------------------> Get the free toolbar and rest assured with the added security of spyware protection.>

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June 26, 2007

,

My son does what I call " cycles " ! He can go for weeks without a

problem then BAM... everything is a problem!! I'm not sure what the

extent of his Sensory problems are but I don't think they are as severe

as some on this board. I know he gets really upset when I am tense...

for example yesterday I had an UNscheduled appt come home and I had to

be at my doctor's in an hour and a half. We lived 30 minutes away and

none of us were dressed. I had to take this appt as we are getting

ready to leave for vacation. WELL disappeared and I couldn't

find him... He was under the table rocking saying " too much too fast "

over and over! He was calm about it so I made a big deal that he had

remained calm. When has a meltdown EVERYTHING is wrong in his

world... he acts like a child that is about 2 throwing a tantrum... but

you can tell he's in horrible turmoil and that he really believes what

he is saying!

I too have to commend because she must have the patience of a

Saint! It's hard to be with our children (even NT ones) all the time

and not get very many breaks! I live for the times when I can get out

of the house childless and just enjoy a leisurely stroll through the

craft store... looking at fabric without stating the rules over and

over... " hands to self... put them in your pocket " People look at me

strangely when I tell this child that is almost as tall as me this!!

They probably think I'm one of those weird mothers that is over

protective and I'm turning my child into a mama's boy! LOL OH well...

if they could only walk in my shoes for a few hours... on a bad day!

Jackie

On Jun 26, 2007, at 8:23 AM, Neylon wrote:

> ..how old is your daughter? I could never spend that much time

> with my kid. I would go crazy, I give you credit. I am mad because

> when I sent her to camp yesterday (she was really psyched to go) we

> found out the pool was broken and it would be a few days before it was

> fixed. Now she did okay yesterday, but today is so hot I just could

> not send her to camp without being able to swim. She gets irritable if

> she is hot and I didn't want her to have a meltdown there. She is 7.

> (just) I am a single Mom, but I am a teacher. She has been in daycare

> from day 1. I didn't have problems until I put her in a " formal "

> daycare at 2.5...then the complaints started right away....she cries,

> can't transition, poor fine motor, etc. Then she seemed fine for a

> while (great daycare teachers) then totally melted down at 4.5 and by

> 5 was having full-blown tantrums at daycare. Since then it has been a

> total nightmare with school except for about 8 months in Kindergarten

> where she seemed to do okay. (weird) Does anyone else have a child who

> does okay for a while and then the problems resurface again? I am very

> unhappy with my town and their school system. I think they have made

> things much worse for her. A friend of mine is pulling her kid out of

> the public and putting him in Montessori she is so upset and her kid

> doesn't even have the problems mine does.

> It's a nightmare.

> I do think your daughter needs to " practice " her social skills.....so

> just keep taking her places-does she read? Can you do social stories?

>

> And if you need water

> I'll Be A River

> Like a wave I will come over you

> You need someone to fall into

> I'll Be A River

> And my love will carry you through

> (I'll Be Your River)~cyndi lauper~

>> Re: ( ) Re: meltdowns

>>>>

>>>> I have tried to explain to friends and family the difference

>>>> between a tantrum and a meltdown.

>>>>

>>>> When I (and most other people) think of tantrums, they think of the

>>>> spoiled child in the store wanting a toy and his parent says no. So

>>>> begins the tantrum FOR a toy. My daughter does not do this.

>>>>

>>>> Her meltdowns usually are from overstimulation or being touched

>>>> unexpectantly or noises that she can't stand or somoene laughing

>>>> or crowded places, etc. More than likely the meltdown will start

>>>> gradually and work up quickly to a fullblown out of control on the

>>>> floor kicking screaming holding her ears... It starts with her

>>>> averting her eyes, looking at the floor. Then covering her head or

>>>> ears. Then crying, screaming, to hitting, to falling to the floor.

>>>>

>>>> I have had people say she is getting something out of it. I just

>>>> can't believe this. I have suggested to her hey let's go to the toy

>>>> section and pick out a toy or let's go find your fave snack to calm

>>>> her but nothing calms her. She isn't wanting something. It isn't a

>>>> tantrum to get something. I wish it were!

>>>>

>>>> Bad days for my daughter are meltdown city over everything. Good

>>>> days I am amazed that she can handle the things that just upset her

>>>> the day before. I feel I am walking on eggshells preparing to pick

>>>> her up and take her home where she is normally fine! Home is a calm

>>>> place for her. Even though she begs to go places often, she

>>>> typically has issues out of the house.

>>>>

>>>> sza25 <sza25@...> wrote:

>>>>> Hi,

>>>>>

>>>>> Ys that would be a meltdown. My daughters at times, get very upset

>>>>> and

>>>>> will show anger and pull my hand and try to get away from

>>>>> situations

>>>>> that are too overwhelming.

>>>>>

>>>>> Meltdowns I think will be emotional outburts, tantrums,

>>>>> aggressiveness

>>>>> and any change in their behavior.

>>>>>

>>>>> Ima

>>>>>

>>>>> >

>>>>> > can someone explain exactly what a " meltdown " is? is it when they

>>>>> have a tantrum or emotional outburst like w/my son, antha, who is

>>>>> 7, he

>>>>> still had trouble w/music class. is hwat he does - covering his

>>>>> ears,

>>>>> screaming, crying, telling the teacher to be quiet, to stop

>>>>> playing the

>>>>> musci etc - is that a meltdown? thanks.

>>>>> >

>>>>> > jeanette

>>>>> >

>>>>> > ---------------------------------

>>>>> > Get the free toolbar and rest assured with the added

>>>>> security

>>>>> of spyware protection.

>>>>> >

>>>>>

>>>>

>>>> Expecting? Get great news right away with email Auto-Check.

>>>> Try the Beta.

>>

>> Looking for a deal? Find great prices on flights and hotels with

>> FareChase.

>>

>

June 26, 2007

Kirsten,

I am going through this same thing with my 10.5 year old son who was

just recently diagnosed! I am hoping that the IEP team will be able to

come up with something that can meet his needs... but I have a lot of

apprehension about it.. since they know he has been diagnosed but

wouldn't address in March because they didn't have written proof! I'm

keeping my fingers crossed that they will provide him with the things

that he needs and not say " he's smart he'll figure it out " which is

what I was told in March!! Infuriating!!!

You'll learn lots of information on this board! It's been very helpful

to me in the short time that I have been here!

Welcome,

Jackie

On Jun 25, 2007, at 9:36 PM, McClure, Kirsten wrote:

> -

> I can totally relate to what you said about your daughter and school.

> School has turned into a place that my daughter just doesn't feel

> comfortable. My daughter just turned 8 and was just diagnosed with

> Aspergers. Now, hopefully, an I.E.P. in the fall will help shed some

> light to the school on what is going on with her so they help her

> rather

> than make things worse. Thanks for your insight. Kirsten

>

> Re: ( ) Re: meltdowns

>

> ...very good points about the difference between tantrums and

> meltdowns. My daughter is generally good at home and with me..it's like

> I am her safety net. If I am there, she can deal. It's school, camp,

> parties, etc. She is good much of the time, though. I believe the

> school

> system has made her much worse. Her anxiety got out of control in first

> grade...she seems worse now than she was when she was four. She just

> turned 7. I have to prethink everything. Leaving places is the issue I

> struggle with the most.

>

> And if you need water

> I'll Be A River

> Like a wave I will come over you

> You need someone to fall into

> I'll Be A River

> And my love will carry you through

> (I'll Be Your River)~cyndi lauper~

>

> Re: ( ) Re: meltdowns

>

> I have tried to explain to friends and family the difference

> between a tantrum and a meltdown.

>

> When I (and most other people) think of tantrums, they think of

> the spoiled child in the store wanting a toy and his parent says no. So

> begins the tantrum FOR a toy. My daughter does not do this.

>

> Her meltdowns usually are from overstimulation or being touched

> unexpectantly or noises that she can't stand or somoene laughing or

> crowded places, etc. More than likely the meltdown will start gradually

> and work up quickly to a fullblown out of control on the floor kicking

> screaming holding her ears... It starts with her averting her eyes,

> looking at the floor. Then covering her head or ears. Then crying,

> screaming, to hitting, to falling to the floor.

>

> I have had people say she is getting something out of it. I just

> can't believe this. I have suggested to her hey let's go to the toy

> section and pick out a toy or let's go find your fave snack to calm her

> but nothing calms her. She isn't wanting something. It isn't a tantrum

> to get something. I wish it were!

>

> Bad days for my daughter are meltdown city over everything. Good

> days I am amazed that she can handle the things that just upset her the

> day before. I feel I am walking on eggshells preparing to pick her up

> and take her home where she is normally fine! Home is a calm place for

> her. Even though she begs to go places often, she typically has issues

> out of the house.

>

> sza25 <sza25@...> wrote:

>

> Hi,

>

> Ys that would be a meltdown. My daughters at times, get

> very upset and

> will show anger and pull my hand and try to get away

> from situations

> that are too overwhelming.

>

> Meltdowns I think will be emotional outburts, tantrums,

> aggressiveness

> and any change in their behavior.

>

> Ima

>

> >

> > can someone explain exactly what a " meltdown " is? is

> it when they

> have a tantrum or emotional outburst like w/my son,

> antha, who is 7, he

> still had trouble w/music class. is hwat he does -

> covering his ears,

> screaming, crying, telling the teacher to be quiet, to

> stop playing the

> musci etc - is that a meltdown? thanks.

> >

> > jeanette

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> > Get the free toolbar and rest assured with the

> added security

> of spyware protection.

> >

>

> ________________________________

>

> Expecting? Get great news right away with email Auto-Check.

> <http://us.rd./evt=49982/*http://

> advision.webevents./m

> ailbeta/newmail_tools.html>

> Try the Beta.

> <http://us.rd./evt=49982/*http://

> advision.webevents./m

> ailbeta/newmail_tools.html>

>

> ********************Confidentiality Notice********************

>

> This message is intended for the sole use of the individual and entity

> to whom it is addressed, and may contain information that is

> privileged, confidential and exempt from disclosure under applicable

> law. Any unauthorized review, use, disclosure or distribution of this

> email message, including any attachment, is prohibited. If you are not

> the intended recipient, please advise the sender by reply email and

> destroy all copies of the original message. Thank you.

>

June 26, 2007

a has a new address if you wish to get a copy of this booklet.

201-1600 Ave. Winnipeg, MB, Canada, R3N 1Y9 (phone # is 204-475-2601)

Donna

Re: ( ) Re: meltdowns

thanks for replying mary. if only people realized or understood how hard it is for these children. it is difficutl for us of course but to imagine what their world is like for them. realtives don't get, friends don't get it and yes, they think theses kids are just having a tantrum and we're just "giving in to them". i pray for all of us, mary.

hugs,

jeanette <mysofas > wrote:

I have tried to explain to friends and family the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown.

When I (and most other people) think of tantrums, they think of the spoiled child in the store wanting a toy and his parent says no. So begins the tantrum FOR a toy. My daughter does not do this.

Her meltdowns usually are from overstimulation or being touched unexpectantly or noises that she can't stand or somoene laughing or crowded places, etc. More than likely the meltdown will start gradually and work up quickly to a fullblown out of control on the floor kicking screaming holding her ears... It starts with her averting her eyes, looking at the floor. Then covering her head or ears. Then crying, screaming, to hitting, to falling to the floor.

I have had people say she is getting something out of it. I just can't believe this. I have suggested to her hey let's go to the toy section and pick out a toy or let's go find your fave snack to calm her but nothing calms her. She isn't wanting something. It isn't a tantrum to get something. I wish it were!

Bad days for my daughter are meltdown city over everything. Good days I am amazed that she can handle the things that just upset her the day before. I feel I am walking on eggshells preparing to pick her up and take her home where she is normally fine! Home is a calm place for her. Even though she begs to go places often, she typically has issues out of the house. sza25 <sza25 > wrote:

Hi,Ys that would be a meltdown. My daughters at times, get very upset and will show anger and pull my hand and try to get away from situations that are too overwhelming.Meltdowns I think will be emotional outburts, tantrums, aggressiveness and any change in their behavior.Ima>> can someone explain exactly what a "meltdown" is? is it when they have a tantrum or emotional outburst like w/my son, antha, who is 7, he still had trouble w/music class. is hwat he does - covering his ears, screaming, crying, telling the teacher to be quiet, to stop playing the musci etc - is that a meltdown? thanks. > > jeanette> > > ---------------------------------> Get the free toolbar and rest assured with the added security of spyware protection.>

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June 26, 2007

We are in soo many activities, she socializes. Believe me! It is hard as she meltsdown and I always feel that I am walking on eggshells. Holding my breath until she has to be picked up and removed from situations. But I still take her everywhere and to every children's activity I can. I even signed her up for summer camp LOL with me! I requested that they let me go along as she has special needs and they agreed. She is a flight risk and really if I wasn't willing to go, she wouldn't be able to go. That is like most activities though. She will just take off with no safety awareness. I was passing around my phone number at softball practice the first week saying call for a playdate! So we have individual playdates lined up as well. I just signed her up for a social skills group that I am excited about! Hopefully it will help. But besides O/T, she is in everything possible--softball, girl scouts, tap dance, library

storytime and summer at the library activities, camp...everything possible including signing her up to walk in the 4th of july parade with other kids and with me of course. Then once a month we will go to the zoo or field trip or other place that is farther from home. Neylon <Lindee37@...> wrote: ..how old is your daughter? I could never spend that much time with my kid. I would go crazy, I give you credit. I am mad because when I sent her to

camp yesterday (she was really psyched to go) we found out the pool was broken and it would be a few days before it was fixed. Now she did okay yesterday, but today is so hot I just could not send her to camp without being able to swim. She gets irritable if she is hot and I didn't want her to have a meltdown there. She is 7. (just) I am a single Mom, but I am a teacher. She has been in daycare from day 1. I didn't have problems until I put her in a "formal" daycare at 2.5...then the complaints started right away....she cries, can't transition, poor fine motor, etc. Then she seemed fine for a while (great daycare teachers) then totally melted down at 4.5 and by 5 was having full-blown tantrums at daycare. Since then it has been a total nightmare with school except for about 8 months in Kindergarten where she seemed to do okay. (weird) Does anyone else have a child who does okay for a while and then the problems resurface again? I am very unhappy with my town and their

school system. I think they have made things much worse for her. A friend of mine is pulling her kid out of the public and putting him in Montessori she is so upset and her kid doesn't even have the problems mine does. It's a nightmare. I do think your daughter needs to "practice" her social skills.....so just keep taking her places-does she read? Can you do social stories? And if you need waterI'll Be A RiverLike a wave I will come over youYou need someone to fall intoI'll Be A RiverAnd my love will carry you through(I'll Be Your River)~cyndi lauper~ Re: ( ) Re: meltdowns I have tried to explain to friends and family the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown. When I (and most other people) think of tantrums, they think of the spoiled child in the store wanting a toy and his parent says no. So begins the tantrum FOR a toy. My daughter does not do this. Her meltdowns usually are from overstimulation or being touched unexpectantly or noises that she can't stand or somoene laughing or crowded places, etc. More than likely the meltdown will start gradually and work up quickly to a fullblown out of control on the floor kicking screaming holding her ears... It starts with her averting her eyes, looking at the floor. Then covering her head or ears. Then crying, screaming, to hitting, to falling to the floor. I

have had people say she is getting something out of it. I just can't believe this. I have suggested to her hey let's go to the toy section and pick out a toy or let's go find your fave snack to calm her but nothing calms her. She isn't wanting something. It isn't a tantrum to get something. I wish it were! Bad days for my daughter are meltdown city over everything. Good days I am amazed that she can handle the things that just upset her the day before. I feel I am walking on eggshells preparing to pick her up and take her home where she is normally fine! Home is a calm place for her. Even though she begs to go places often, she typically has issues out of the house. sza25 <sza25 > wrote: Hi,Ys that would be a meltdown. My daughters at times, get very

upset and will show anger and pull my hand and try to get away from situations that are too overwhelming.Meltdowns I think will be emotional outburts, tantrums, aggressiveness and any change in their behavior.Ima>> can someone explain exactly what a "meltdown" is? is it when they have a tantrum or emotional outburst like w/my son, antha, who is 7, he still had trouble w/music class. is hwat he does - covering his ears, screaming, crying, telling the teacher to be quiet, to stop playing the musci etc - is that a meltdown? thanks. > > jeanette> > > ---------------------------------> Get the free toolbar and rest assured with the added security of spyware

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June 26, 2007

She is 6. I have heard "saint" so many times esp. when my daughter has to go to MY dr appts with me--no one to help out at the time. Because I am so calm. But I do NOT feel calm so beat my self up over it. I should be calmer. I certainly don't feel like a saint!! I have a big trust issue with other people watching her. I feel that if I her mother gets impatient with her how will these "strangers" babysitters feel? I worry. My daughter can get aggressive and I absolutely don't want someone to hit her back. I have this fear that my daughter would regress or turn inwards. So I am particular with who can watch her and the reason that right now I don't have anyone. The last person blew up from the stress--she had her own meltdown--so I stopped calling her.She was paid by the state. So I am on the lookout for someone else. I put in the ad this time that it has to be someone with experience with special needs children OR a close

relative to a child with special needs. Someone who understands. The first time in years that I had somoene watch my daughter, I left to go do errands. Which took no time wihtout my dd with me!! So it left me with 2 hours. I just sat in my car in the middle of town, wondering what to do. LOL I sat and watched the snow fall--in peace and quiet. I have learned since to make a list of things I need/want to do or else I get nothing done. #1 on my list is to take a nap if dd hasn't been sleeping. If I don't write it down, I just sit dazed wondering ok now what. <hunebear3@...> wrote: ,My son does what I call "cycles"! He can go for weeks without a problem then BAM... everything is a problem!! I'm not sure what the extent

of his Sensory problems are but I don't think they are as severe as some on this board. I know he gets really upset when I am tense... for example yesterday I had an UNscheduled appt come home and I had to be at my doctor's in an hour and a half. We lived 30 minutes away and none of us were dressed. I had to take this appt as we are getting ready to leave for vacation. WELL disappeared and I couldn't find him... He was under the table rocking saying "too much too fast" over and over! He was calm about it so I made a big deal that he had remained calm. When has a meltdown EVERYTHING is wrong in his world... he acts like a child that is about 2 throwing a tantrum... but you can tell he's in horrible turmoil and that he really believes what he is saying!I too have to commend because she must have the patience of a Saint! It's hard to be with our children (even NT ones) all the time and not get

very many breaks! I live for the times when I can get out of the house childless and just enjoy a leisurely stroll through the craft store... looking at fabric without stating the rules over and over... "hands to self... put them in your pocket" People look at me strangely when I tell this child that is almost as tall as me this!! They probably think I'm one of those weird mothers that is over protective and I'm turning my child into a mama's boy! LOL OH well... if they could only walk in my shoes for a few hours... on a bad day!JackieOn Jun 26, 2007, at 8:23 AM, Neylon wrote:> ..how old is your daughter? I could never spend that much time > with my kid. I would go crazy, I give you credit. I am mad because > when I sent her to camp yesterday (she was really psyched to go) we > found out the pool was broken and it would be a few days before it was > fixed. Now she did okay yesterday,

but today is so hot I just could > not send her to camp without being able to swim. She gets irritable if > she is hot and I didn't want her to have a meltdown there. She is 7. > (just) I am a single Mom, but I am a teacher. She has been in daycare > from day 1. I didn't have problems until I put her in a "formal" > daycare at 2.5...then the complaints started right away....she cries, > can't transition, poor fine motor, etc. Then she seemed fine for a > while (great daycare teachers) then totally melted down at 4.5 and by > 5 was having full-blown tantrums at daycare. Since then it has been a > total nightmare with school except for about 8 months in Kindergarten > where she seemed to do okay. (weird) Does anyone else have a child who > does okay for a while and then the problems resurface again? I am very > unhappy with my town and their school system. I think they have made >

things much worse for her. A friend of mine is pulling her kid out of > the public and putting him in Montessori she is so upset and her kid > doesn't even have the problems mine does.> It's a nightmare.> I do think your daughter needs to "practice" her social skills.....so > just keep taking her places-does she read? Can you do social stories?> > And if you need water> I'll Be A River> Like a wave I will come over you> You need someone to fall into> I'll Be A River> And my love will carry you through> (I'll Be Your River)~cyndi lauper~>> Re: ( ) Re: meltdowns>>>>>>>> I have tried to explain to friends and family the difference >>>> between a tantrum and a meltdown.>>>> >>>> When I (and most other people) think of tantrums, they think of the >>>> spoiled child in the store wanting a toy and his parent says no. So >>>> begins the tantrum FOR a toy. My daughter does not do this.>>>> >>>> Her meltdowns usually are from overstimulation or being touched >>>> unexpectantly or noises that she can't

stand or somoene laughing >>>> or crowded places, etc. More than likely the meltdown will start >>>> gradually and work up quickly to a fullblown out of control on the >>>> floor kicking screaming holding her ears... It starts with her >>>> averting her eyes, looking at the floor. Then covering her head or >>>> ears. Then crying, screaming, to hitting, to falling to the floor.>>>> >>>> I have had people say she is getting something out of it. I just >>>> can't believe this. I have suggested to her hey let's go to the toy >>>> section and pick out a toy or let's go find your fave snack to calm >>>> her but nothing calms her. She isn't wanting something. It isn't a >>>> tantrum to get something. I wish it were!>>>> >>>> Bad days for my

daughter are meltdown city over everything. Good >>>> days I am amazed that she can handle the things that just upset her >>>> the day before. I feel I am walking on eggshells preparing to pick >>>> her up and take her home where she is normally fine! Home is a calm >>>> place for her. Even though she begs to go places often, she >>>> typically has issues out of the house. >>>>>>>> sza25 wrote:>>>>> Hi,>>>>>>>>>> Ys that would be a meltdown. My daughters at times, get very upset >>>>> and>>>>> will show anger and pull my hand and try to get away from >>>>> situations>>>>> that are too overwhelming.>>>>>>>>>> Meltdowns I think will be emotional outburts, tantrums,

>>>>> aggressiveness>>>>> and any change in their behavior.>>>>>>>>>> Ima>>>>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>> > can someone explain exactly what a "meltdown" is? is it when they>>>>> have a tantrum or emotional outburst like w/my son, antha, who is >>>>> 7, he>>>>> still had trouble w/music class. is hwat he does - covering his >>>>> ears,>>>>> screaming, crying, telling the teacher to be quiet, to stop >>>>> playing the>>>>> musci etc - is that a meltdown? thanks.>>>>> >>>>>> > jeanette>>>>> >>>>>>

>>>>>> > --------------------------------->>>>> > Get the free toolbar and rest assured with the added >>>>> security>>>>> of spyware protection.>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>> Expecting? Get great news right away with email Auto-Check.>>>> Try the Beta.>>>> Looking for a deal? Find great prices on flights and hotels with >> FareChase.>>>

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June 26, 2007

A meltdown means once it starts, that is it...it has to run it's course. You have to remove them from the situation, if you can...They are so over-whelmed, it's not even about free will. It's not because they are upset about not getting their own way. It's because their system has reached overload. We learned to spot one coming on and nipping it in the bud. We learned to avoid trigger situations, too.

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June 26, 2007

Well, it sounds like you are doing all you can do. I asked about the cycles because I know the psychs that my daughter was seeing are slightly concerned about a mood disorder like bi-polar. That really scares me. I know when children put themselves in danger or take off, that is sometimes a little bit more than Asperger's-maybe not. Delia was leaving the classroom, but walking around the building, she would not take off. My friend's son ran away from her backyard because she would not let him use the hose and crossed busy streets and got completely lost (6 years) had no regard for his safety. They had to call the police. Now this is different because he gets mad at a "NO" ...whereas our kids get sensory overwhelmed or don't understand certain situations. He is diagnosed bi-polar. I keep telling the docs I really think it is spectrum stuff...everything she does is very much like Asperger's and Hyperlexia. She is so close to normal at times that it is hard for me to accept..like her going to camp and doing fine. Or doing a year of gymnastics with no problem-not needing me for anything. As I said, she gets super frustrated at school and it's mostly written output.