The world doesn't understand AS !!!!!!!!!!!

[Guest guest]

Having raised a thus far (lol) 16yr old AS child, I have seen quite a

bit I guess. Where my child goes to highschool now, they have never

had a Autistic student before. (Since AS falls into the same realm of

treatment as Autism, she therefore has an AI rating on her IEP). I

constantly teach and explain, to the whole school AND her teachers

each semester at its start, what AS is all about and what to expect

with my particular child. I have also provided them with books and

other written material, for them to read theirselves to better help

them prepare and work with her. I am available to them 24/7 for any

questions or help with particular situations that might arise during

their classroom. I will say, that no matter where you go, you are

going to bump up against the " old dinosaur " type of teacher, the one

who thinks your child is simply a spoiled teenager getting away with

murder. They are the most frustrating to deal with, but keep in mind,

ultimately according to law,they HAVE to provide any service or meet

any special need, listed in that IEP you have on your child. This is

one very big reason I pushed for an AI rating on my daughters IEP.

There is too many special services and needs that wouldn't be covered

if she did not have the ultimate AI rating.

I will fall back onto what I said a few entries ago; AS people

live in a world all their own. IF we were to take one of their

teachers and put THEM in a world made up of allll AS people, then

they'd understand how difficult life can be. But we can't do that,

sooo...I explain to my extremely intelligent daughter, (and point out

examples of the same kind of thing in history)...that when people do

not understand something, they tend to keep away from it or even fear

it, fear of the unknown. Teachers are expected to teach to all types

of students, even those they have to make special accomodations for.

Teachers don't like to have to take the extra time. Teachers tend to

therefore overlook a special need, claiming the child does fine in

the classroom but doesn't pay attention like she should. Well...no

one likes to be overlooked or treated differently, especially in

front of a classroom full of their peers. If a teacher treats a

student differently, the other kids see it and they act differently

around the AS kid too. Ultimately the AS can end up a loner in

school, prefer it in fact, than to try and figure out the world

around them. Couple of their self defense measures are: complete

indifference to others, or even over-emulating their behaviors to

keep others away (because its too much trouble trying to get along

with them). Aggressive behavior is another way to keep people away.

Another thing that doesn't help an AS student's credibility is when

they get As on their homework and F's on their tests. Why? Because at

least with MY AS child, I get copies of her daily homework each day,

and take them home and make sure she gets them done. At home, she has

less distractions. My child also has long term memory recall, NOT

short term. So if they could test her on last years subjects, she'd

get all A's on her tests, instead of D's and F's on this years tests.

Its very frustrating, and alot of teachers are sure the kid is just

faking it, a typical teenager trying to get away with murder.

What works with the school my kid is in (she is mainstreamed in

regular highschool level, she is in a charter school) are the

following things:

1) I provide the teachers and social workers with information about

AS so they can read it theirselves, instead of not believing a parent.

2) I have them call me for suggestions over any behavior troubles

they have with my child in their class (like not paying attention).

3) I use emails to keep in contact with her teachers whenever

possible, instead of making them stay after school is out for a

special parent/teacher meeting.

4) I make full use of the social worker as a go-between, whenever

there is a difficulty I send her in to fix it and she does.

5) I occasionally bring in a chocolate bar, or flowers, to a teacher

who has gone out of her way to help or understand my kid.

6) I am up front, and open, about my child's AS with the teachers,

and I do comiserate with them when they are stumped, and offer

strategies to try. Teachers do not always have alot of extra time to

do alot of reading on AS, although if they don't I have their bottoms

over a fire legally because they didn't provide this or that service

for her special needs. They are aware of this too.

I think being open about what our home life is like with our AS

chlid, helps to go a long way with the faculty at her school too.

When they know what a parent is going through at home, and see that

the parent is trying to work with the child about staying on top of

her homework, then the teachers are much more willing to work

together with you in your efforts on your child's behalf.

About the rest of the world? My kid knows most people simply don't

understand where shes coming from. She knows that bullies are simply

afraid of the unknown, and that stuffy teachers are lazy ones who do

not want to have to conform to her speical needs. When the occasional

teacher DOES show that she cares , and goes that extra bit of effort

with my child, my kid will stick up for that teacher until hale

freezes over : ) So what most teachers tend to do with her is, work

at getting along with her socially and then try to stretch that into

the daily classroom setting too. They help with arranging seating,

and groups for project work, and intercede when they see a bully

trying to act up around my kid. Teachers have many kids in each

classroom, its hard for them to see every instance that might upset

my kid. Therefore, shes allowed to ask to go to office, doesn't have

to state why, and they immediately let her go. They have to, as a

matter of face. This gives her a break to chill out, to get away from

an anxiety issue, and she can also call me any time she wants to. She

is allowed to carry a cell phone in school as a special need. She

simply calls from a quiet place in the office where she can't be

overheard. OT and transitional services help these kids in a huge

way. I many times, tell any teacher or social worker, that I don't

really care about her academic performance, I care about her social

and emotional development. They agree totally now that they

understand her better. I have her IEP meeting this next week. Am I

uptight about it? Nope. The absolute best advice I can give a parent

is, do not treat the school faculty as the enemy, try to get along

with them, always say anything with a polite manner and a smile on

your face, even if you are telling them they are a lousy teacher lol.

Because they see that I don't jump down their throats, they are more

willing to meet my child's needs in a upbeat,positive manner. My

daughter sees how the teachers talk to me, and it carries over to her

and how she talks to them too, and vice versa. If you have a certain

situation you want some input on, I'd be happy to talk to you. I may

end up writing a book someday, because I surely cannot work fulltime

and raise my child in the way shee needs lol.

A. Make sure you indicate you want a teacher's aide on that IEP.

B. Make sure you indicate you want a student aide on that IEP.

C. Make sure you indicate you want OT for your child on that IEP.

D. Make sure you indicate you want transitional services on that IEP.

I make sure I have a meeting with the social worker present, and

all her new semester's teachers at the beginning (or prior) of each

new semester at her school, to educate them personally and answer

questions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~sheesh I rambled! lol~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~