Need Advice

[Guest guest]

We were told that after age 6 months old repositioning would not

work. We waited with Hannah until age 6 months (tried repositioning

until then with no luck) and she didn't get her band until age 10

months. Her head just kept getting worse and we did the exercises

for her tort and tried repositioning. I know the sooner the child is

in the band the better.

Stacey and Hannah (banded 2-7-01)

> Dean went today to a Doctor of Physical Medicine. He has mild

Congenial Muscular Torticollis and mild Positional Plagiocephaly.

She said that Children's National Medical Center (Washington DC area)

does not encourage the use of helmets or caps. She very familiar

with Torticollis and gave me exercises. As for the Plagio, she said

that side sleeping should allow his head to correct itself.

>

> I have 2 year old son who has a irregular shape back of the head

due to back sleeping. It got better, but never went away. If I

knew about helmets then, I would have put him in one.

>

> Here's my question, how long do I give it before I should get a

second opinion? Dean is 3 months old.

>

> Debbie H

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 2/16/01 1:41:06 PM Pacific Standard Time, debbie.hart@... writes:

.. She very familiar with Torticollis and gave me exercises. As for the Plagio, she said that side sleeping should allow his head to correct itself.

Debbie - I thought I would mention to you about getting a pt involved in treating Dean's torticollis. It is so nice having someone show you the stretching and have someone monitor his progress. Gross motor skills problem can arise from only acknowledge one side of his body. Also the tort only "hurts" the treatment of plagio and the sooner you can get the tort resolved, the better. Many battle until well over a year and walking. I encourage you to join many of us at torticolliskids. Also make sure and push tummy time and limit time on his back and prop that neck up as much as possible. I agree with others to give repositioning some time and hard efforts. If you started treatments at around 6 months you'll see quick results. Try side sleeping and rotating too. Good luck and yell if questions!

Tammy & 12/8/99

[Guest guest]

I agree. The sooner in the band the better. We tried repositioining until

Maggie was 4 months then it was so useless becuase she could wiggle out of

everything. At 10 months the doc still said it would round out. WRONG. She

got her band at 1 year and the people at Cranial Tech said that if she had

gotten the band at 6 months, she would have only had to wear it 6 weeks. Kaycee

in Albany

> > Dean went today to a Doctor of Physical Medicine. He has mild

> Congenial Muscular Torticollis and mild Positional Plagiocephaly.

> She said that Children's National Medical Center (Washington DC area)

> does not encourage the use of helmets or caps. She very familiar

> with Torticollis and gave me exercises. As for the Plagio, she said

> that side sleeping should allow his head to correct itself.

> >

> > I have 2 year old son who has a irregular shape back of the head

> due to back sleeping. It got better, but never went away. If I

> knew about helmets then, I would have put him in one.

> >

> > Here's my question, how long do I give it before I should get a

> second opinion? Dean is 3 months old.

> >

> > Debbie H

[Guest guest]

Debbie,

Repositioning is definitely something worth trying for a couple of

months. Physical therapy for the Tort will also help greatly.....if

you can't get a physical therapist in your area, maybe try EI

services?

The only other thing that I wanted to mention is that you might want

to start looking now for a doctor to use as a second opinion, and see

what his/her schedule is like. Many of us have had to wait months

before we can get in with doctors. So since you are going to try

repositioning, you might want to make the appointment now for say

sometime in April or May.......this way when it comes time you won't

be told " Oh gee, we can't fit you in until October.... " And if you

don't need the appointment because Dean has improved then you can

cancel it. But at least you will have an appointment set and ready

to go in case you need it and won't waste time waiting for them

to " fit you in " .

I just don't want to see you in the same boat that we were in. We

knew when i was 8 weeks old that something was wrong.....but when

all was said and done we didn't start treatment until well into the

6th month because we had such a hard time getting appointments with

the various doctors........and that alone can frustrate a parent to

no end.

Sincerely,

Jaya Dong

Poughkeepsie, NY

> Dean went today to a Doctor of Physical Medicine. He has mild

Congenial Muscular Torticollis and mild Positional Plagiocephaly.

She said that Children's National Medical Center (Washington DC area)

does not encourage the use of helmets or caps. She very familiar

with Torticollis and gave me exercises. As for the Plagio, she said

that side sleeping should allow his head to correct itself.

>

> I have 2 year old son who has a irregular shape back of the head

due to back sleeping. It got better, but never went away. If I

knew about helmets then, I would have put him in one.

>

> Here's my question, how long do I give it before I should get a

second opinion? Dean is 3 months old.

>

> Debbie H

[Guest guest]

Debbie,

I am not sure where in the DC area you live, but my daughter had to

have surgery for craniosynostosis and we saw Dr. Hubli (plastic

surgeon) and Dr. French (Neurosurgeon). Both can give you a second

opinion for the plagio and are located close to Fairfax Hospital.

Email me if you'd like.

Kathy

mom to

l lamdoid CVR 1/18/01

casted for DOC Band 2/14/01

[Guest guest]

I say the sooner the better too. My twin four month olds were just

casted on Friday. Now I wish I had them casted two weeks ago! My

orthotist said it could be two weeks before the band arrives. I

feel like it's precious time ticking away. I am still fearful of

how the band will work and how they will react to it, but I want

them to have cute little round heads too! We went ahead and did

this without our pediatrician's blessing (mainly because she knew

nothing about it!) Good Luck!

Kate

Mom to ph, Fiona and Lily

> > > Dean went today to a Doctor of Physical Medicine. He has mild

> > Congenial Muscular Torticollis and mild Positional Plagiocephaly.

> > She said that Children's National Medical Center (Washington DC

area)

> > does not encourage the use of helmets or caps. She very familiar

> > with Torticollis and gave me exercises. As for the Plagio, she

said

> > that side sleeping should allow his head to correct itself.

> > >

> > > I have 2 year old son who has a irregular shape back of the head

> > due to back sleeping. It got better, but never went away. If I

> > knew about helmets then, I would have put him in one.

> > >

> > > Here's my question, how long do I give it before I should get a

> > second opinion? Dean is 3 months old.

> > >

> > > Debbie H

[Guest guest]

Debbie:

We saw Dr. Hubli for our 2nd opinion - our first Dr. visit was at Children's

in DC too, and they said 's head would round out on its own. She was 7

months. We tried to get her to sleep on her side and then we went for the

2nd opinion when she was 11 months old. She has been in her band for a month

now. I wish we had gone for a second opinion sooner.

Sincerely,

('s mom - banded 1/19/2001)

[Guest guest]

3 months is very early to be recognizing the problem which is GREAT! Many of

the people in this group noticed the flatness problem very early, but were

told by their peds that it would round out on its own. Almost everyone here

trusted their ped's advice and in almost every instance our babies' heads did

not round out on their own. Working diligently with the exercises for the

tort is your first big step and repositioning diligently should happen as

well. You certainly could do that and put off looking at the band, but I

wouldn't put it off too long. If you're going to band I would be looking at

trying to get it by the time your son is about 6 months and remember that

going through the casting and waiting for the band to be made will take some

time as well. (a month or more) I would recommend getting a second opinion

from a pediatric neurosurgeon or cranial facial specialist.

Sorry this is so long. I'm glad you found this group - please keep us posted

on what you decide.

Marci (Mom to )

Oklahoma

[Guest guest]

Thank You. That was helpful.

Debbie

----- Original Message -----

From: Jaya Dong

Plagiocephaly

Sent: Saturday, February 17, 2001 8:16 AM

Subject: Re: Need Advice

Debbie,Repositioning is definitely something worth trying for a couple of months. Physical therapy for the Tort will also help greatly.....if you can't get a physical therapist in your area, maybe try EI services?The only other thing that I wanted to mention is that you might want to start looking now for a doctor to use as a second opinion, and see what his/her schedule is like. Many of us have had to wait months before we can get in with doctors. So since you are going to try repositioning, you might want to make the appointment now for say sometime in April or May.......this way when it comes time you won't be told "Oh gee, we can't fit you in until October...." And if you don't need the appointment because Dean has improved then you can cancel it. But at least you will have an appointment set and ready to go in case you need it and won't waste time waiting for them to "fit you in".I just don't want to see you in the same boat that we were in. We knew when i was 8 weeks old that something was wrong.....but when all was said and done we didn't start treatment until well into the 6th month because we had such a hard time getting appointments with the various doctors........and that alone can frustrate a parent to no end.Sincerely,Jaya DongPoughkeepsie, NY> Dean went today to a Doctor of Physical Medicine. He has mild Congenial Muscular Torticollis and mild Positional Plagiocephaly. She said that Children's National Medical Center (Washington DC area) does not encourage the use of helmets or caps. She very familiar with Torticollis and gave me exercises. As for the Plagio, she said that side sleeping should allow his head to correct itself. > > I have 2 year old son who has a irregular shape back of the head due to back sleeping. It got better, but never went away. If I knew about helmets then, I would have put him in one. > > Here's my question, how long do I give it before I should get a second opinion? Dean is 3 months old. > > Debbie H

[Guest guest]

Thank You !

Debbie

----- Original Message -----

From: marcisch@...

Plagiocephaly

Sent: Monday, February 19, 2001 9:18 AM

Subject: Re: Need Advice

3 months is very early to be recognizing the problem which is GREAT! Many of the people in this group noticed the flatness problem very early, but were told by their peds that it would round out on its own. Almost everyone here trusted their ped's advice and in almost every instance our babies' heads did not round out on their own. Working diligently with the exercises for the tort is your first big step and repositioning diligently should happen as well. You certainly could do that and put off looking at the band, but I wouldn't put it off too long. If you're going to band I would be looking at trying to get it by the time your son is about 6 months and remember that going through the casting and waiting for the band to be made will take some time as well. (a month or more) I would recommend getting a second opinion from a pediatric neurosurgeon or cranial facial specialist.Sorry this is so long. I'm glad you found this group - please keep us posted on what you decide.Marci (Mom to )Oklahoma

[Guest guest]

Thank you! I will visit Dr. Hubli.

Debbie

----- Original Message -----

From: johnson1198@...

Plagiocephaly

Sent: Sunday, February 18, 2001 12:09 PM

Subject: Re: Re: Need Advice

Debbie:We saw Dr. Hubli for our 2nd opinion - our first Dr. visit was at Children's in DC too, and they said 's head would round out on its own. She was 7 months. We tried to get her to sleep on her side and then we went for the 2nd opinion when she was 11 months old. She has been in her band for a month now. I wish we had gone for a second opinion sooner.Sincerely,('s mom - banded 1/19/2001)

[Guest guest]

When you make a decision, you never know all the possibilties--there

always seems to be one you hadn't thought of--so don't be surprised if

you find one. The ones you do think of are the ones you can do something about. If you want to go--go-- you have plenty of reasons to do so. It appears that you are trying to learn something

here--which looks like independence--I admire the fact that you

are going back to learn it. (Aside from the fact that I love that area

and am not fond of the desert) Chances are you will be around a lot

longer than they will--they have lived most of their lives out.

The child-parent relationship is the guiding force in our lives--you will

probably contemplate this more as you get older. We are really grateful

to have learned some things--and not others, but it's the others that

form our drives and personalities.

e--a person can only control you if you let them. . .your very need

to question your move is because of someone's elses control;

it is more difficult to make ones own way without some distance

from the parents if a parent feels the need for constant input. I had to do it also,

as did every one of my siblings as he/she reached emancipation. My mother was not a person who felt she had prepared her children for independence. . .I can understand this (now). . .she never had it and didn't know what it was or what it took to achieve it. Many mothers who

never had to do it entirely on their own (particularly those who married

young) have this same feeling. And I've noticed that those who started

their own families when they were young, put their own development aside

to "mother"--some pick it up when the children are grown, but most do not

seem to. Your past could have satisfied some deep wishes of your mothers--

or they could have validated her mothering to her--a lot of people think in

material terms--our society has conditioned them that way. But anyway,

the desire for independence comes naturally--aren't you glad you want to

act on it? Aren't you glad that somewhere in your upbringing you learned the

strength to do it? Sometimes the need to remove oneself from the "control"

of a parent, is the very thing that gives us the strength--in that case, one might say the "control" was a good thing! It's all in how you look at it.

It is hard to look at our own parents just as a "man" and a "woman"

with needs of their own--and sometimes those needs masquerade them-

selves. It is particularly hard before you have your

own children. . .go. . .be prepared for some dissatisfaction for awhile,

but it will change in time; they will adjust and you will undoubtedly

do things differently this time. The offspring is in a much better position

to understand the parents than vice versa--and to work parents needs/idosycrasies

into his/her life. If they choose not to speak to you--let it lie for awhile--send

cards--make close friendships in Denver.

Can you start out with a roommate? I had to get one at age 56 for the

first time! Definitely not my style, but it's sometimes necessary to get an anchor on a decent financial start. It's apparently a way of life in

CA for singles--and becoming moreso elsewhere.

Best wishes to you--and your new focus on yourself and your health--when

you move you can put them at the top of your priority list instead of the

parental situation. A very wise man with an incredibly horrid past, said to me once. . .there are no failures. . .just delayed results.

Bonnie

[Guest guest]

e,

I don't think it is healthy to make decision in life based on whether or not it pleases your parents, if it doesn't please you. Being an adult means you are free to make decisions that are necessary for your happiness and wellbeing, not theirs. It is sad that your parents have the attitude that they do---they should show their love for you no matter what happens in your life. You are their daughter. You are the one who got the bad end of the deal if they can't have a proper relationship with you because they don't approve of your life!

I think it is perfectly healthy to make this move if you are financially able to support yourself. However, if there is any question as to your future ability to support yourself, this may be one aspect that may affect your decision. Do you think you may have to depend on them someday for support?

I think it is right to honor and respect our parents no matter what kind of jerks they may be, ( it is the 5th of the 10 commandments, but the only one with a promise) but that doesn't mean we have to let them affect our lives. Call once in awhile just to say hi, and if they get nasty on the phone, just say it was nice chatting and you have to go now. Once you take the upper hand and act with integrity, it will be in their court to act the same. Don't ever let your parents get your goat--you don't owe them anything except a birthday card once a year, and an occasional hello. Once you became an adult, you became free to be who you want to be, and do what you want to do, regardless of their approval.

I hope this helps you in your decision. If you want to go, then go.

Love,

Patty

----- Original Message -----

From: e Rene

Sent: Saturday, August 10, 2002 10:17 PM

Subject: Need advice

Okay, all, I want your input as to whether I should make this move to Denver. It has created obvious conflict and tension in my family, and if I go, I will not have the blessing of my parents. They think I am making a stupid decision, and will get back to Denver only to experience the same problems (financially) that I had before I started traveling. I know that my mom is also being very selfish because she has this control thing----she had me and my sister out here and I think that helped her to feel needed and wanted. Now, my sister is moving to Austin and I will be leaving this fall. She has no problems with my sister going to Austin, and wishes her well.

Now, I have lived in Denver for 13 yrs, and of those 13 yrs, I have lived 12 on my own. Of those 12, 11 yrs I did well for myself. I wasn't able to save lots of money, but then I was living a very upscale life. It was only in 2001 tha t I had financial problems, and that is when my health problems were peaking, and I wasn't working a lot. But my mom can only think about 2001 and how I struggled. She isn't able to think about the previous yrs and how happy I was, and how I thrived in Denver. She looks at me as a failure in every aspect. She always is telling me "how bright and energetic you used to be, how you had men flocking all over you, how you were so organized and competitive, and you had a wondeful career." She totally looks at me as a failure, and as an embarrassment to them. That is one of the reasons I want to get back to Denver as well, is to put distance between us. When I was in Denver and my parents were in Boston, we got along much better. I think we need that distance to salvage whatever is left of our relationship. Plus you all know how much I long to be back in Denver.

I have talked to other people, a nd they say I need to do what is going to make me happy. But I also have to think that if I make this move to Denver, it could be the very last time I see or talk to my parents again. But if I stay in Tucson to make them happy, I sacrifice my happiness, and will be miserable. And it's not like I am so close to my parents that we do things together all the time. I can count on one hand the number of times we've done things together since I've been here. I know if stay here to make them happy, I will be depressed and I'm certain my health will fail again, as depression and ill health are so well correlated. If I go back to Denver, I will be happy, but I may never speak to my parents again.

Plus, all my docs are in Denver and flying back every 2-3 months is going to get expensive. And esp since my fusion may be failing, I will need to see my neurosurgeon more frequently.

S o, any advice, suggestions, ideas I welcome. I think I've made the decision, but I want to ensure that I've looked at all angles.

e

[Guest guest]

e

I agree with what Patty said and I also feel that if you have any doubts about this move or about how you will feel once in Denver again you may not want to rush into it, I just recall you being so miserable and near homeless in Denver so that was and is my main concern. I understand how you feel about it, it is like me and California, I mean i have thought if it wasn't for my husband what would I do would I stay in Idaho? At this point no, but nothing god forbid will ever have to my hubby for me to have to think of these things ya know. However, one never knows so it is something I have thought about.

I am going to church now so I will post more later on, in the meantime like Patty said if you feel you can financially support yourself then I would not worry about what your parents think too much.

hugs

----- Original Message -----

From: e Rene

Sent: Saturday, August 10, 2002 11:17 PM

Subject: Need advice

Okay, all, I want your input as to whether I should make this move to Denver. It has created obvious conflict and tension in my family, and if I go, I will not have the blessing of my parents. They think I am making a stupid decision, and will get back to Denver only to experience the same problems (financially) that I had before I started traveling. I know that my mom is also being very selfish because she has this control thing----she had me and my sister out here and I think that helped her to feel needed and wanted. Now, my sister is moving to Austin and I will be leaving this fall. She has no problems with my sister going to Austin, and wishes her well.

Now, I have lived in Denver for 13 yrs, and of those 13 yrs, I have lived 12 on my own. Of those 12, 11 yrs I did well for myself. I wasn't able to save lots of money, but then I was living a very upscale life. It was only in 2001 that I had financial problems, and that is when my health problems were peaking, and I wasn't working a lot. But my mom can only think about 2001 and how I struggled. She isn't able to think about the previous yrs and how happy I was, and how I thrived in Denver. She looks at me as a failure in every aspect. She always is telling me "how bright and energetic you used to be, how you had men flocking all over you, how you were so organized and competitive, and you had a wondeful career." She totally looks at me as a failure, and as an embarrassment to them. That is one of the reasons I want to get back to Denver as well, is to put distance between us. When I was in Denver and my parents were in Boston, we got along much better. I think we need that distance to salvage whatever is left of our relationship. Plus you all know how much I long to be back in Denver.

I have talked to other people, and they say I need to do what is going to make me happy. But I also have to think that if I make this move to Denver, it could be the very last time I see or talk to my parents again. But if I stay in Tucson to make them happy, I sacrifice my happiness, and will be miserable. And it's not like I am so close to my parents that we do things together all the time. I can count on one hand the number of times we've done things together since I've been here. I know if stay here to make them happy, I will be depressed and I'm certain my health will fail again, as depression and ill health are so well correlated. If I go back to Denver, I will be happy, but I may never speak to my parents again.

Plus, all my docs are in Denver and flying back every 2-3 months is going to get expensive. And esp since my fusion may be failing, I will need to see my neurosurgeon more frequently.

So, any advice, suggestions, ideas I welcome. I think I've made the decision, but I want to ensure that I've looked at all angles.

e

[Guest guest]

Dear e

I don't think I would worry about all this stuff with your parents, while they are your parents and of course deserve a certain amount of respect you need to be strong and independant and stand up to them and in my opinion you need to sit down with them face to face and tell them in no uncertain terms why you need to do what you are doing and that as much as it may hurt them you are not doing it because of them or in spite of them, simply because you tried to live in AZ and cannot stand it there, that it really is not about them at all.

Kiss them on the cheek and get the heck out of that town if you hate it there so much. With your degree in nursing you should be able to get along anywhere in the US as long as you are able to work(health wise) you should be able to get by financially even if at first or on occasion you may struggle. Set up a bugdet and then stick to it. I have had to budget all my life and that is how I did it, hell I lived alone in the most expensive place in the US in California and got by on a Unit Secretary Salary by being very very frugal. I lived near my family there, and they did help me in some ways, but not often and not with cash, just my dad would come fix things that would break at my little mobile home or help me paint etc, esp when I was very ill. However I was always very independant and even now in Idaho with my hubby I am still independant, the wages here suck but cost of living is less. I Know for a fact that you can earn good money with that RN of yours so as long as your health remains stable and you are careful about taking care of yourself and if you plan a bugdet and learn to live frugally you should be fine.

Tell your parents you love them and will miss them but that Denver is where you need to be for your own peace of mind. If they cannot understand and you cannot face them, write them a note and send it to them. Try to call them occasionally to say hi and let them know you are fine, try not whine to them when you are going through tough times that way your mother will not be able to say " SEE I TOLD YOU SO" instead if you have things you need to get out tell someone else. If you cannot talk to them then again send them cards or letters and leave it that way for awhile. They can chose to hold a grudge but you don't have to.

You are a big girl with a good career and good earning potential you should not have to lean on anyone financially anyhow. Also you can always find a roomate or rent a room in a house, even with pets there is always someone in a position like yours that also has pets, just make sure that once you make the move you stick to it and give it at least a year or so before you jump out of it and into something else. Since you asked for my advice that is what I am saying, since you seem to move so often I think this time you need to seriously put some roots in the ground and get a stable life before moving again, try to promise yourself that you will get through whatever rough lonely times are to come and that you will stick through it and not leave Denver again till you have thoroughly given it your best shot at working out for you.

That is my opinion and remember when things get rough you can always cry about it to us, we care.

Hugs

----- Original Message -----

From: e Rene

Sent: Sunday, August 11, 2002 11:31 PM

Subject: Need advice

Thanks Patty, , and Bonnie for responding to my plea for help.

I posted this because I know that many of the women on this site are moms, and I'm curious to know what they think or how they would react to their child leaving and going back to someplace that has bittersweet memories (but lots of good ones as well).

I know that I am an adult and shouldn't make decisions based on what pleases my parents. But my mom is SOOOOO good at making me feel guilty. She could teach a class on how to make people feel guilty. My biggest fear is that I will get back to Denver and something will happen with my health and I will find myself in a financial bind again. And then my mom can say "I told you so." But at this point, my job will enable me to make much more money than I have ever made while I lived in Denver. There is also the potential for that job with Abbott Labs to pan out (I found that out tonight). If that were offered to me, then I would be making $90K+ a yr, and finances wouldn't ever be a problem.

Right now, I am bound and determined to get back to Denver. And this is whether I have the approval of my parents or not. I need to go back there not just for my happiness and to be near my physicians, but to prove to them that I can do it. That one bad yr doesn't mean that I can never make it in Denver again. I've tried to tell my parents that we all have hard times in our lives, whether it be financially, our health, family problems, etc., but no one is perfect---not even my parents. The other thing I've been thinking about is that my mom and dad may be jealous that I'm going back there. They love Denver, and recently my mom said that if they could afford to live in Denver, they'd be there in a minute (they can afford to live in Denver, but they don't like any of the houses available, and would want one built, which would cost them about $1 million). They are just picky, and want a house in the foothills of Denver or in the mtns, and that would be much more to build a house there than to buy a house here in Tucson. Anyway, I do think that there is some jealousy going on. And of course the control issue with my mom. She's no longer got control over me or my sister since we'll both be gone.

Interestingly enough, when I was in therapy with my psychiatrist in Denver, she met my parents a few times, and said that based on our discussions and what she gleaned from talking to them, she felt that all my mom wants is to control my sister and me. Just an aside---when I was dating a guy in the mid 90's, he lived in southern Denver, I lived in north Denver, and my parents lived in Boulder. Well, obviously, my free time was spent with my boyfriend, and not with my parents, when I had usually spent my free time in Boulder with them prior to meeting this guy. My mom had a fit that I wasn't coming over for Sunday dinner or just to visit. She accused me of ignoring my family, being selfish, and not having my "priorities right." I moved to central Denver to be closer to my boyfriend, and that put me much farther away from my parents in Boulder. My boyfriend told me that my parents were very controlling. And my psychiatrist told me that they were very controlling, and they didn't like to lose control. And that is exactly what is happening now.

At any rate, I have to go back to Denver for my mental and physical health. I have to prove to my parents that I can do this, even though they will never approve of it, and will never let me forget my financial hardships last yr. If they don't agree with it and don't want anything to do with me, then so be it. If they are going to disown me simply because I'm making a decision that I know is right for me, then they are truly the selfish ones. I am not going to continue to try to please them when it's to no avail. If I stay in Tucson, I will be miserable, depressed, and a recluse. I have no friends here. I have friends in Denver that want me to come back and will be there for me. I want to wear sweaters and coats and snow boots. I don't want warm weather 365 days of the yr! My psychiatrist told me once that I will never gain approval from my parents, and I've got to accept that and move on. And that is what I'm going to do..

**Now watch this whole job thing fall through in Denver**

Anymore insight I'd greatly appreciate it, because I'm trying to assimilate all that I can to ensure that I'm doing the right thing, and no one thinks I'm crazy.

So, keep the feedback coming so I can read and reread what you all have written. Plus, I'd really like to get a point of view from the moms out there to see how they would feel and what they would say if their daughter was in my position and they were in my parents' position.

Thanks so much!

e

[Guest guest]

If it was my daughter in this position, I would tell her that I love her dearly, understand that Denver is where her heart is, and promise that she is welcome to come home anytime she wants to, and promise that I would help her anyway that I could if she ever needed me. Her happiness is all that would matter to me. Of course, my daughter right now is only 10 years old, and I can't imagine being at odds with her over her life! But it doesn't matter--love for our children should be unconditional, and while we may not condone all of their actions as adults, we must still BE THERE for them.

e, don't feel you have to prove anything your parents. Leave them out of the equation. Do this for you, if that is what you want to do.

Patty

----- Original Message -----

From: e Rene

Sent: Sunday, August 11, 2002 10:31 PM

Subject: Need advice

Thanks Patty, , and Bonnie for responding to my plea for help.

I posted this because I know that many of the women on this site are moms, and I'm curious to know what they think or how they would react to their child leaving and going back to someplace that has bittersweet memories (but lots of good ones as well).

I know that I am an adult and shouldn't make decisions based on what pleases my parents. But my mom is SOOOOO good at making me feel guilty. She could teach a class on how to make people feel guilty. My biggest fear is that I will get back to Denver and something will happen with my health and I will find myself in a financial bind again. And then my mom can say "I told you so." But at this point, my job will enable me to make much more money than I have ever made while I lived in Denver. There is also the potential for that job with Abbott Labs to pan out (I fou nd that out tonight). If that were offered to me, then I would be making $90K+ a yr, and finances wouldn't ever be a problem.

Right now, I am bound and determined to get back to Denver. And this is whether I have the approval of my parents or not. I need to go back there not just for my happiness and to be near my physicians, but to prove to them that I can do it. That one bad yr doesn't mean that I can never make it in Denver again. I've tried to tell my parents that we all have hard times in our lives, whether it be financially, our health, family problems, etc., but no one is perfect---not even my parents. The other thing I've been thinking about is that my mom and dad may be jealous that I'm going back there. They love Denver, and recently my mom said that if they could afford to live in Denver, they'd be there in a minute (they can afford to live in Denver, but they don't like any of the house s available, and would want one built, which would cost them about $1 million). They are just picky, and want a house in the foothills of Denver or in the mtns, and that would be much more to build a house there than to buy a house here in Tucson. Anyway, I do think that there is some jealousy going on. And of course the control issue with my mom. She's no longer got control over me or my sister since we'll both be gone.

Interestingly enough, when I was in therapy with my psychiatrist in Denver, she met my parents a few times, and said that based on our discussions and what she gleaned from talking to them, she felt that all my mom wants is to control my sister and me. Just an aside---when I was dating a guy in the mid 90's, he lived in southern Denver, I lived in north Denver, and my parents lived in Boulder. Well, obviously, my free time was spent with my boyfriend, and not with my parents, when I had usually spent my free time in Boulder with them prior to meeting this guy. My mom had a fit that I wasn't coming over for Sunday dinner or just to visit. She accused me of ignoring my family, being selfish, and not having my "priorities right." I moved to central Denver to be closer to my boyfriend, and that put me much farther away from my parents in Boulder. My boyfriend told me that my parents were very controlling. And my psychiatrist told me that they were very controlling, and they didn't like to lose control. And that is exactly what is happening now.

At any rate, I have to go back to Denver for my mental and physical health. I have to prove to my parents that I can do this, even though they will never approve of it, and will never let me forget my financial hardships last yr. If they don't agree with it and don't want anything to do with me, then so be it. If they are going to disown me simp ly because I'm making a decision that I know is right for me, then they are truly the selfish ones. I am not going to continue to try to please them when it's to no avail. If I stay in Tucson, I will be miserable, depressed, and a recluse. I have no friends here. I have friends in Denver that want me to come back and will be there for me. I want to wear sweaters and coats and snow boots. I don't want warm weather 365 days of the yr! My psychiatrist told me once that I will never gain approval from my parents, and I've got to accept that and move on. And that is what I'm going to do.

**Now watch this whole job thing fall through in Denver**

Anymore insight I'd greatly appreciate it, because I'm trying to assimilate all that I can to ensure that I'm doing the right thing, and no one thinks I'm crazy.

So, keep the feedback coming so I can read and reread what you all have written. Plus, I'd really like to get a point of view from the moms out there to see how they would feel and what they would say if their daughter was in my position and they were in my parents' position.

Thanks so much!

e

[Guest guest]

If it was my daughter (seeing as how my kid is only 10) and I already have had to make a similiar decision to support her choice to stay with her father right now. That has been so hard for me, and at first I was so angry and yes I tried to pull guilt trips and everything else I could think of on her, but now we are getting along better and I think she is actually wanting to come here now and it is because I let go and let her make her own choices, forcing her to come here didn't work so what else can I do?

There is a big difference though of course, since she is only 10, I don;t believe she is capable of making her own choices, however, the california court system thinks she is, pretty pathetic isn't it?

take care

----- Original Message -----

From: e Rene

Sent: Sunday, August 11, 2002 11:31 PM

Subject: Need advice

Thanks Patty, , and Bonnie for responding to my plea for help.

I posted this because I know that many of the women on this site are moms, and I'm curious to know what they think or how they would react to their child leaving and going back to someplace that has bittersweet memories (but lots of good ones as well).

I know that I am an adult and shouldn't make decisions based on what pleases my parents. But my mom is SOOOOO good at making me feel guilty. She could teach a class on how to make people feel guilty. My biggest fear is that I will get back to Denver and something will happen with my health and I will find myself in a financial bind again. And then my mom can say "I told you so." But at this point, my job will enable me to make much more money than I have ever made while I lived in Denver. There is also the potential for that job with Abbott Labs to pan out (I found that out tonight). If that were offered to me, then I would be making $90K+ a yr, and finances wouldn't ever be a problem.

Right now, I am bound and determined to get back to Denver. And this is whether I have the approval of my parents or not. I need to go back there not just for my happiness and to be near my physicians, but to prove to them that I can do it. That one bad yr doesn't mean that I can never make it in Denver again. I've tried to tell my parents that we all have hard times in our lives, whether it be financially, our health, family problems, etc., but no one is perfect---not even my parents. The other thing I've been thinking about is that my mom and dad may be jealous that I'm going back there. They love Denver, and recently my mom said that if they could afford to live in Denver, they'd be there in a minute (they can afford to live in Denver, but they don't like any of the houses available, and would want one built, which would cost them about $1 million). They are just picky, and want a house in the foothills of Denver or in the mtns, and that would be much more to build a house there than to buy a house here in Tucson. Anyway, I do think that there is some jealousy going on. And of course the control issue with my mom. She's no longer got control over me or my sister since we'll both be gone.

Interestingly enough, when I was in therapy with my psychiatrist in Denver, she met my parents a few times, and said that based on our discussions and what she gleaned from talking to them, she felt that all my mom wants is to control my sister and me. Just an aside---when I was dating a guy in the mid 90's, he lived in southern Denver, I lived in north Denver, and my parents lived in Boulder. Well, obviously, my free time was spent with my boyfriend, and not with my parents, when I had usually spent my free time in Boulder with them prior to meeting this guy. My mom had a fit that I wasn't coming over for Sunday dinner or just to visit. She accused me of ignoring my family, being selfish, and not having my "priorities right." I moved to central Denver to be closer to my boyfriend, and that put me much farther away from my parents in Boulder. My boyfriend told me that my parents were very controlling. And my psychiatrist told me that they were very controlling, and they didn't like to lose control. And that is exactly what is happening now.

At any rate, I have to go back to Denver for my mental and physical health. I have to prove to my parents that I can do this, even though they will never approve of it, and will never let me forget my financial hardships last yr. If they don't agree with it and don't want anything to do with me, then so be it. If they are going to disown me simply because I'm making a decision that I know is right for me, then they are truly the selfish ones. I am not going to continue to try to please them when it's to no avail. If I stay in Tucson, I will be miserable, depressed, and a recluse. I have no friends here. I have friends in Denver that want me to come back and will be there for me. I want to wear sweaters and coats and snow boots. I don't want warm weather 365 days of the yr! My psychiatrist told me once that I will never gain approval from my parents, and I've got to accept that and move on. And that is what I'm going to do..

**Now watch this whole job thing fall through in Denver**

Anymore insight I'd greatly appreciate it, because I'm trying to assimilate all that I can to ensure that I'm doing the right thing, and no one thinks I'm crazy.

So, keep the feedback coming so I can read and reread what you all have written. Plus, I'd really like to get a point of view from the moms out there to see how they would feel and what they would say if their daughter was in my position and they were in my parents' position.

Thanks so much!

e

[Guest guest]

Hi Everyone,

Sent a post this morning, but put .org instead of .com. Sorry if I'm

repeating myself, but have a feeling the last post is in never never land.

Asked my neuro for LDN again, with all kinds of info. He said " NO " in no

uncertain terms. You have mentioned before that if necessary I could call

Dr. Bihari or Dr. Sullivan, but would only like to do that as a last resort.

It has become perfectly clear to me that my neuro and me have totally

different opinions and views. I no longer feel that he has my best interest

in mind. Does anyone know of a good neuro in the Central Calif area? I am

looking for Sacramento, Stockton, Modesto?? Have a good compounding

pharmacist that I get Prokarin and hormones from in Placerville, so that is

also an option. I think it was Kathy that posted a bunch of good questions.

Have been asked or thought the same thing, but feel that LDN is right for

me. So frustrating, know the filler, dose, time everything, but need the

RX. Let me know what you think.

_________________________________________________________________

Get MSN 8 and enjoy automatic e-mail virus protection.

http://join.msn.com/?page=features/virus

[Guest guest]

It seems that that may be another thing many of us have in common. We DON'T

know WHY, but we are for some reason pulled, driven, guided, directed, lead to

LDN. This is not normally LIKE ME at all. And the way I found out about it,

all the research and discussion with everyone I could think of who may have an

opinion, and a lot more, all I can say is Perfect Synchronicity.

I'm on the road again Wednesday through Labor Day. This will be my 4th camping

trip and final BG Festival for the summer. This has been the best summer I

ever had, the most awesome times in over 12 years, maybe more. Not sure the

capacity of the LDN... it could have just enabled me to be where I was... but I

think there's more to it. After 13 years of suffering, the following 2 months

were pretty good.. but these last 2 months have been just oh so totally

awesome. And I think LDN may be involved in a few ways. My friend and I are

trying to figure it out. I've talked about it with some other people to get

consensus. Or maybe it's Mars. It's closest 8/27, huh? WOW. Wednesday.

Gonna be an interesting week.

----- Original Message -----

From: " Lorenzo " <clorenzo01@...>

<low dose naltrexone >

Sent: Monday, August 25, 2003 20:14

Subject: [low dose naltrexone] Need Advice

> Hi Everyone,

>

> Sent a post this morning, but put .org instead of .com. Sorry if I'm

> repeating myself, but have a feeling the last post is in never never land.

> Asked my neuro for LDN again, with all kinds of info. He said " NO " in no

> uncertain terms. You have mentioned before that if necessary I could call

> Dr. Bihari or Dr. Sullivan, but would only like to do that as a last resort.

> It has become perfectly clear to me that my neuro and me have totally

> different opinions and views. I no longer feel that he has my best interest

> in mind. Does anyone know of a good neuro in the Central Calif area? I am

> looking for Sacramento, Stockton, Modesto?? Have a good compounding

> pharmacist that I get Prokarin and hormones from in Placerville, so that is

> also an option. I think it was Kathy that posted a bunch of good questions.

> Have been asked or thought the same thing, but feel that LDN is right for

> me. So frustrating, know the filler, dose, time everything, but need the

> RX. Let me know what you think.

>

[Guest guest]

Chey,

I hate to say how glad I was to see your post, but I could

have written it myself. I have been through the same things and have

never seen anyone else who has. I have been taking ldn for almost 3

months - 4.6 mg. every night. Last week my neuro said to try every

other night, this seems to have helped quite a bit. I will be

anxious to see the response from others. I hope you start feeling

better real soon. Take care, Sherry

- In low dose naltrexone , " cheystay " <c_chey@h...>

wrote:

> Hi guys,

>

> past days I experienced severe head- and nexk aches. So bad that I

> could only lay in bed, was so tired and weak. All I could think

> about was my bed. Yesterday was the worst. My muscles are so weak,

I

> cannot even stand to go to the toilet or get off the toilet.

>

> Last night I toke 2,5 mg LDN in stead of the 3,75 I toke for a

week.

> I feel better today. I stopped antibiotics too and most of my

> supplements. Just felt to bad to think about taking them. Problem

> is, my spasms retunrn immidiatly.

>

> I really don't know what to do, feel hopeless. Like on a

> rollercaoster going up and down. I want to take LDN to stop

> progression, but I felt more stabile on Betaferon. I'm more often

> sick (flu-like). The years on Betaferon were more alike, now I'm

> running high up and way down.

>

> Can you please give me some advice?

>

> Thnx, Chey

[Guest guest]

So Sherry you could hardly wait huh? Well I am still trying to find my optimum doseage but that seems to be very elusive,in regards to this every other day thing I don't think I could like going back to wearing Attends as if I missed a single day I cannot make it too the washroom in time by the evening,and then it's two more times at night which ruins a good nights sleep.I have had this feeling too at times with my muscles feeling weak,it seems to come and go depending on the previous days pill episode.Like what time I took it and was it a 4.5 or a 3.0 mg. mine have to be dumped out to make what we guess to be 3.0 mgs as all I have right now is about two months of 4.5 left .

I have never gotten rid of the spasticity(spasms) and am waiting for some more improvements Could it be that I am not very regular in my amount? And Chey are you not mixing your own? Most people that stick with one professionally measured amount built at a reputable pharmacy have great results. Or so I have been led to believe.

Reg

-------Original Message-------

From: low dose naltrexone

Date: 02/21/04 06:19:49

low dose naltrexone

Subject: [low dose naltrexone] Re: Need advice

Chey, I hate to say how glad I was to see your post, but I could have written it myself. I have been through the same things and have never seen anyone else who has. I have been taking ldn for almost 3 months - 4.6 mg. every night. Last week my neuro said to try every other night, this seems to have helped quite a bit. I will be anxious to see the response from others. I hope you start feeling better real soon. Take care, Sherry

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