Re: IEP Tomorrow

[Guest guest]

I wish our schools administration did the same. They absoulutely do not want

any input from parents about class room placement.

Of course, they totally need it. I always write a note listing classroom

characteristics that would best suit each of my kids learning styles. ( wouldn't

dare ask for a specific teacher). Except this year there was a teacher that I

could not accept and we did tell the school we did not want her.

This policy is very upsetting to me. I think that parents should be allowed

input as to teacher, especially when special needs, 504 or IEP are in place.

Darcy, Mom to three with different needs.

[Guest guest]

I wish our schools administration did the same. They absoulutely do not want

any input from parents about class room placement.

Of course, they totally need it. I always write a note listing classroom

characteristics that would best suit each of my kids learning styles. ( wouldn't

dare ask for a specific teacher). Except this year there was a teacher that I

could not accept and we did tell the school we did not want her.

This policy is very upsetting to me. I think that parents should be allowed

input as to teacher, especially when special needs, 504 or IEP are in place.

Darcy, Mom to three with different needs.

[Guest guest]

I'll tell ya I'd be through the roof and in people's faces by now. They tried that crap with my son. It didn't fly. I educated them. You know, teachers love to learn as do many administrators, counselors etc. But, it's hard for them to take it coming from a parent. They are discounting your child as having behavior problems (his choice) instead of understanding aspergers (not his choice). They need to understand and I would flat out tell them in the IEP meeting that your child needs the things you've requested because (and this seems to get them) he has autism, a disability. Worrying about him standing out is ridiculous because he can not interact with aspergers like other children and he needs a lot of one on one.

Sorry this is just my soap box, you are going through what I've seen, although you've made amazing strides that I wish I had for my son at that age. What you've stated here is that you are hearing excuses and some other times and when I get around to it and disagreements. I guess I'd start out the IEP conversation (I always take them over anyway) with, I am xxx's mother. I know him best. I see him ill from worry and stress coming home from school (if you tell them he's not feeling well, even if you mean emotionally, it seems to get the point home stronger). This is an unacceptable learning environment for him and I expect these issues to get resolved. Here's what my expectations are... a, b, c... and here is why I expect these things to happen and the results I'm hoping for. Generally if you have all of that written up in handout form in advance, it's a lot harder for them to argue with your logic. However, I'd also go in with a very open mind. ASK them why they feel he doesn't need assistance during lunch. Ask them how they would feel if they were him and what they think HE wants and needs, not what is most convenient for the school or the school's budget.

It's really hard to not insult them when all this is going on, but if you can keep it to " me " and " my son " statements rather than pointing the finger and saying you did this and you didn't do this... but say I'd like this to happen, here's why I think it would help, here's what I expect to see as a result... all this compromise and focus on you and your son will probably help.

Hope there's an idea in there. Honestly I'm sad that you have to deal with the bullheadedness.Deb S

On 6/3/08, luz velez <luzadrianna1970@...> wrote:

Hi Everyone,

I am hoping someone can help me at the last minute as I am preparing for my IEP tomorrow.

My son is a 9 year old with Aspergers (severe attention issues, sensory issues) who is currently mainstreamed with in class support for math and an aide that is shared. My son has had major difficulties this year not only with academics (math), but socially more than anything. The school provides a social skills group during speech and a social worker comes during recess twice a week to run a social skills group (she has been putting them in a room to watch Underdog). This has not been enough. He does not have any friends and none of the children want to sit near him at lunch or be around him. He is isolated. He has told us that he cannot wait for school to end so that he does not have to be around these " mean people " . Due to the anxiety associated with all of this, he has been seeing a therapist for about 9 months now. I have spoken repeatedly with the teacher and case manager but they do not feel it is a serious issue. The teacher believes that we need to give him time and eventually some of his behaviors (off topic conversation, personal space etc.) will improve. I completely disagree. I have requested an aide during lunch as well as more communication between the speech therapist, social worker and psychologist. The teacher believes that an aide will make him stand out. That is a moot point, he already stands out. I get frustrated because I am told things are fine and then I find out about things that the other children do to my son and obviously things are not fine. Does anyone have any other suggestions? I have suggested a lunch bunch, a buddy. I have asked for disabilities awareness for his class, but have not made progress.

In addition to the social problem, he has been struggling with math. He went from the resource room to in class support, but still does not know simple addition and subtraction facts. I have asked for supplemental support or for him to go back to the resource room. They do not agree. My son has barely kept up only because we work with him at home everyday and he has a tutor who works with him twice a week. He needs more support than he is currently receiving.

We just had a neuropsychological evaluation done and gave it to our case manager to support our requests. He informed me that if he takes my reports the evaluation clock for the district to do their evaluation starts again. Basically the district would not have to do their own evaluation next year. Complete nonsense.

Can anyone give me any suggestions as to what else and how I can convince my district to provide more support?

I apologize for the long e-mail.

Your help is greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

Luz

[Guest guest]

Hi Luz sounds like you are doing and asking for everything that is needed for your son. Now, its time to document everything and request for anything in writing and their response in writing too. You are very smart to know that our children with AS just don't get it on their own. they don't just adjust and if you ignore the situation it NEVER gets better or goes away. Sounds like if the school IEP team waits for this to happen - your son loses out. he loses out on making friends and possible becoming a target for bullying. your son loses out on the aid helping him with the subjects needed and will fall to far behind. your son loses out on so much. Sounds like the teacher wants to put it all on you and maybe you should put it all back on them. * if you repeat back what they just said, when they hear it themselves, they will see how stupid they sound. Teacher: give him time and some of his behaviors will improve. parent: You mean if we just ignore our son and do nothing, all will get better ? teacher: giving him an aid will only make him stand out. parent: So, my son blends in so well with his classmates, that by him needing help in academics, social skills, communication, boundaries, etc.. and having an aid will only make things worse - and make him stand out ???? parent: What am I and my son suppose to do while we are waiting for all

this to happen ? They will catch on and see how ridicules that sounds. Then just ask them to put that in writing or you can type the conversation up on a [letter of understanding] and let them explain what they meant back to you in writing. Also, if you don't like the way the IEP meeting is going. you can table it for another day and go back with an advocate. *having a shadow or buddy to help him out sounds like a great idea!. also educating the class on your sons situation and explain to them that he needs a friend. Sometimes the guidance councilor helps out with this through social skills. wishing you the best at your IEP team meeting Rose luz velez <luzadrianna1970@...> wrote: Hi Everyone, I am hoping someone can help me at the last minute as I am preparing for my IEP tomorrow. My son is a 9 year old with Aspergers (severe attention issues, sensory issues) who is currently mainstreamed with in class support for math and an aide that is shared. My son has had major difficulties this year not only with academics (math), but socially more than anything. The school provides a social skills group during speech and a social worker comes during recess twice a week to run a

social skills group (she has been putting them in a room to watch Underdog). This has not been enough. He does not have any friends and none of the children want to sit near him at lunch or be around him. He is isolated. He has told us that he cannot wait for school to end so that he does not have to be around these "mean people". Due to the anxiety associated with all of this, he has been seeing a therapist for about 9 months now. I have spoken repeatedly with the teacher and case manager but they do not feel it is a serious issue. The teacher believes that we need to give him time and eventually some of his behaviors (off topic conversation, personal space etc.) will improve. I completely disagree. I have requested an aide during lunch as well as more communication between the speech therapist, social worker and psychologist. The teacher believes that an aide will make him stand out. That is a moot point,

he already stands out. I get frustrated because I am told things are fine and then I find out about things that the other children do to my son and obviously things are not fine. Does anyone have any other suggestions? I have suggested a lunch bunch, a buddy. I have asked for disabilities awareness for his class, but have not made progress. In addition to the social problem, he has been struggling with math. He went from the resource room to in class support, but still does not know simple addition and subtraction facts. I have asked for supplemental support or for him to go back to the resource room. They do not agree. My son has barely kept up only because we work with him at home everyday and he has a tutor who works with him twice a week. He needs more support than he is currently receiving. We just had a neuropsychological evaluation done and gave it to

our case manager to support our requests. He informed me that if he takes my reports the evaluation clock for the district to do their evaluation starts again. Basically the district would not have to do their own evaluation next year. Complete nonsense. Can anyone give me any suggestions as to what else and how I can convince my district to provide more support? I apologize for the long e-mail. Your help is greatly appreciated. Thanks, Luz

[Guest guest]

Rose beautifully put.

Deb S

On 6/3/08, Rose <beachbodytan2002@...> wrote:

Hi Luz

sounds like you are doing and asking for everything that is needed for your son. Now, its time to document everything and request for anything in writing and their response in writing too. You are very smart to know that our children with AS just don't get it on their own. they don't just adjust and if you ignore the situation it NEVER gets better or goes away. Sounds like if the school IEP team waits for this to happen - your son loses out. he loses out on making friends and possible becoming a target for bullying. your son loses out on the aid helping him with the subjects needed and will fall to far behind. your son loses out on so much. Sounds like the teacher wants to put it all on you and maybe you should put it all back on them. * if you repeat back what they just said, when they hear it themselves, they will see how stupid they sound.

Teacher: give him time and some of his behaviors will improve.

parent: You mean if we just ignore our son and do nothing, all will get better ?

teacher: giving him an aid will only make him stand out.

parent: So, my son blends in so well with his classmates, that by him needing help in

academics, social skills, communication, boundaries, etc.. and having

an aid will only make things worse - and make him stand out ????

parent: What am I and my son suppose to do while we are waiting for all this

to happen ?

They will catch on and see how ridicules that sounds. Then just ask them to put that in writing or you can type the conversation up on a [letter of understanding] and let them explain what they meant back to you in writing. Also, if you don't like the way the IEP meeting is going. you can table it for another day and go back with an advocate.

*having a shadow or buddy to help him out sounds like a great idea!. also educating the class on your sons situation and explain to them that he needs a friend. Sometimes the guidance councilor helps out with this through social skills.

wishing you the best at your IEP team meeting

Rose luz velez <luzadrianna1970@...> wrote:

Hi Everyone,

I am hoping someone can help me at the last minute as I am preparing for my IEP tomorrow.

My son is a 9 year old with Aspergers (severe attention issues, sensory issues) who is currently mainstreamed with in class support for math and an aide that is shared. My son has had major difficulties this year not only with academics (math), but socially more than anything. The school provides a social skills group during speech and a social worker comes during recess twice a week to run a social skills group (she has been putting them in a room to watch Underdog). This has not been enough. He does not have any friends and none of the children want to sit near him at lunch or be around him. He is isolated. He has told us that he cannot wait for school to end so that he does not have to be around these " mean people " . Due to the anxiety associated with all of this, he has been seeing a therapist for about 9 months now. I have spoken repeatedly with the teacher and case manager but they do not feel it is a serious issue. The teacher believes that we need to give him time and eventually some of his behaviors (off topic conversation, personal space etc.) will improve. I completely disagree. I have requested an aide during lunch as well as more communication between the speech therapist, social worker and psychologist. The teacher believes that an aide will make him stand out. That is a moot point, he already stands out. I get frustrated because I am told things are fine and then I find out about things that the other children do to my son and obviously things are not fine. Does anyone have any other suggestions? I have suggested a lunch bunch, a buddy. I have asked for disabilities awareness for his class, but have not made progress.

In addition to the social problem, he has been struggling with math. He went from the resource room to in class support, but still does not know simple addition and subtraction facts. I have asked for supplemental support or for him to go back to the resource room. They do not agree. My son has barely kept up only because we work with him at home everyday and he has a tutor who works with him twice a week. He needs more support than he is currently receiving.

We just had a neuropsychological evaluation done and gave it to our case manager to support our requests. He informed me that if he takes my reports the evaluation clock for the district to do their evaluation starts again. Basically the district would not have to do their own evaluation next year. Complete nonsense.

Can anyone give me any suggestions as to what else and how I can convince my district to provide more support?

I apologize for the long e-mail.

Your help is greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

Luz

[Guest guest]

Hi, so sorry, I can imagine how frustrated you are!! Just some

quick thoughts and fast typing, only have a minute.

I would ask for testing for a learning disability (LD) due to the

math. He's not on grade level, will only fall further behind each

year. Put in writing you would like him tested and state why, that

he is helped at home plus tutored twice a week but still cannot " add

or subtract " (whatever). --- Any other weak areas? Reading or

understanding what he reads? Throw these in for testing for an LD

too.

He needs more social supports. Do they role play in the social

skills group? He needs practice with conversation and to work on

personal space issues (does he get too close to others or doesn't

like others too close to him?); he could have goals for these in his

IEP. I imagine if there is a social skills group, then there must

be others in the group who need help in this area too. My son also

would throw out the odd comments, etc. I didn't push him too hard

on this but would occasionally find opportunities to rehearse/give

him ideas on what to say.

I'd ask your son how he would feel about an aide at lunch or

elsewhere. He might enjoy it or feel same as teacher, he would

stand out more; he may feel he's already different enough (the

latter would have been my son). However, our school did have some

type of " lunch buddy " program where adults volunteered and would

visit/sit with certain kids during lunch, don't know how often, at

least once a month I'm sure. My son wasn't in it but I think having

an adult share lunch " often " vs more frequently might not seem

so " out of place " to make anyone stand out. (if any of that makes

sense)

Do let us know how the meeting goes. He needs help in areas NOW to

be successful in school later, each grade, as workload increases and

as kids get more cliquey (is that a word?).

>

> Hi Everyone,

>

> I am hoping someone can help me at the last minute as I am

preparing for my IEP tomorrow.

>

> My son is a 9 year old with Aspergers (severe attention issues,

[Guest guest]

Luz,

You may find some useful information at the following site:

http://www.autismspeaks.org/howtocope/iep_mayerson.php

It contains a video that answers very specific questions for what a

parent can do/demand in an IEP.

Jaelynne

>

> Hi Everyone,

>

> I am hoping someone can help me at the last minute as I am

preparing for my IEP tomorrow.

>

> My son is a 9 year old with Aspergers (severe attention issues,

sensory issues) who is currently mainstreamed with in class support

for math and an aide that is shared. My son has had major

difficulties this year not only with academics (math), but socially

more than anything. The school provides a social skills group during

speech and a social worker comes during recess twice a week to run a

social skills group (she has been putting them in a room to watch

Underdog). This has not been enough. He does not have any friends

and none of the children want to sit near him at lunch or be around

him. He is isolated. He has told us that he cannot wait for school

to end so that he does not have to be around these " mean people " .

Due to the anxiety associated with all of this, he has been seeing a

therapist for about 9 months now. I have spoken repeatedly with the

teacher and case manager but they do not feel it is a serious issue.

The teacher believes that we need to give

> him time and eventually some of his behaviors (off topic

conversation, personal space etc.) will improve. I completely

disagree. I have requested an aide during lunch as well as more

communication between the speech therapist, social worker and

psychologist. The teacher believes that an aide will make him stand

out. That is a moot point, he already stands out. I get frustrated

because I am told things are fine and then I find out about things

that the other children do to my son and obviously things are not

fine. Does anyone have any other suggestions? I have suggested a

lunch bunch, a buddy. I have asked for disabilities awareness for

his class, but have not made progress.

>

> In addition to the social problem, he has been struggling with

math. He went from the resource room to in class support, but still

does not know simple addition and subtraction facts. I have asked

for supplemental support or for him to go back to the resource room.

They do not agree. My son has barely kept up only because we work

with him at home everyday and he has a tutor who works with him twice

a week. He needs more support than he is currently receiving.

>

> We just had a neuropsychological evaluation done and gave it to

our case manager to support our requests. He informed me that if he

takes my reports the evaluation clock for the district to do their

evaluation starts again. Basically the district would not have to do

their own evaluation next year. Complete nonsense.

>

> Can anyone give me any suggestions as to what else and how I can

convince my district to provide more support?

>

> I apologize for the long e-mail.

>

> Your help is greatly appreciated.

>

> Thanks,

> Luz

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Luz,

The one thing you will hear about your situation is that you are not alone.

There is nothing wring with asking them to have an aide with your son during lunch and recess. Those are very difficult times for many of our children. The noise, activity level...etc. They need to have someone with them.

I will never understand why schools do not come clean about what goes on during our children's days. My son's school did the same exact thing. I'd specifically ask how my son's day was and his teacher always said he was fine. Come to find out later, he was not fine. The incident in the cafeteria was the last straw for me! They downplayed that in a BIG way. My husband called the Principal himself and her response was, "I am so sad this happened." My husband was waiting for her to go on. And...........................? Our son comes home looking like Buster and you say you are sad this happened? So, you are not alone in this struggle.

If you are going to have an IEP meeting in the future. I know you just had one. If you plan to attend the same school next year plan another IEP meeting for the beginning of the new school year. Bring an IEP advocate with you. They are extremely expensive. That is the downside! We are looking at a $2000 bill for an IEP advocate. Hopefully, you only need one once. Here are a few sites...

http://www.theparentaladvocate.com/

http://www.iepadvocate4you.com/

http://www.nolo.com/product.cfm/objectID/53269B09-7112-4E95-A90F8979BEA1F73A/118/

http://www.edadvocacycenter.com/

Wallbank - Wittmayer

DOK Grace Chapter

"Prayer without work is empty words,service without prayer is labor lost."

( ) IEP Tomorrow

Hi Everyone,

I am hoping someone can help me at the last minute as I am preparing for my IEP tomorrow.

My son is a 9 year old with Aspergers (severe attention issues, sensory issues) who is currently mainstreamed with in class support for math and an aide that is shared. My son has had major difficulties this year not only with academics (math), but socially more than anything. The school provides a social skills group during speech and a social worker comes during recess twice a week to run a social skills group (she has been putting them in a room to watch Underdog). This has not been enough. He does not have any friends and none of the children want to sit near him at lunch or be around him. He is isolated. He has told us that he cannot wait for school to end so that he does not have to be around these "mean people". Due to the anxiety associated with all of this, he has been seeing a therapist for about 9 months now. I have spoken repeatedly with the teacher and case manager but they do not

feel it is a serious issue. The teacher believes that we need to give him time and eventually some of his behaviors (off topic conversation, personal space etc.) will improve. I completely disagree. I have requested an aide during lunch as well as more communication between the speech therapist, social worker and psychologist. The teacher believes that an aide will make him stand out. That is a moot point, he already stands out. I get frustrated because I am told things are fine and then I find out about things that the other children do to my son and obviously things are not fine. Does anyone have any other suggestions? I have suggested a lunch bunch, a buddy. I have asked for disabilities awareness for his class, but have not made progress.

In addition to the social problem, he has been struggling with math. He went from the resource room to in class support, but still does not know simple addition and subtraction facts. I have asked for supplemental support or for him to go back to the resource room. They do not agree. My son has barely kept up only because we work with him at home everyday and he has a tutor who works with him twice a week. He needs more support than he is currently receiving.

We just had a neuropsychological evaluation done and gave it to our case manager to support our requests. He informed me that if he takes my reports the evaluation clock for the district to do their evaluation starts again. Basically the district would not have to do their own evaluation next year. Complete nonsense.

Can anyone give me any suggestions as to what else and how I can convince my district to provide more support?

I apologize for the long e-mail.

Your help is greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

Luz

[Guest guest]

> I will never understand why schools do not come clean about what goes on during our children's days. My son's school did the same exact thing. I'd specifically ask how my son's day was and his teacher always said he was fine. Come to find out later, he was not fine. The incident in the cafeteria was the last straw for me! They downplayed that in a BIG way. My husband called the Principal himself and her response was, "I am so sad this happened." My husband was waiting for her to go on. And...........................? Our son comes home looking like Buster and you say you are sad this happened? So, you are not alone in this struggle. ....The bottom line is that school staff are

really not paying very close attention. Even with a 20:1 ratio it's

too many kids to really keep an eye on them all. My son's teacher says

she has never noticed any autistic features in my son. But in the last

month, I have observed him from a distance 3 times making weird noises,

spinning and flapping his hands. And I'm not even at school that often! There have also been several

occurrences of mean comments and threats to "tackle" my son from one

particular boy, but the teacher doesn't know about it (yet!). This

little jock says "you can be my friend if you can catch me" as he runs

off. Little brat! He really knows how to exploit a kid's weaknesses. My DS isn't a tattletale, so the teacher doesn't

hear from him when there is a problem. He just internalizes it and

lets it out at home later. Plus, the yard supervisors and cafeteria

supervisors aren't communicating with the teachers in most instances.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/5/2008 5:53:59 PM Eastern Daylight Time, w_wittmayer@... writes:

We are looking at a $2000 bill for an IEP advocate

You may want to contact your local Parent Training Information Center. They sometimes provide mentors for free. Pam :)Get trade secrets for amazing burgers. Watch "Cooking with Tyler Florence" on AOL Food.

[Guest guest]

We spent over $10,000 from August to December fighting one school; they cannot admit fault (schools) so they will spend whatever; cheaper than litigation with the hundreds of families the 'screw over' by denying them all year; we were well educated, extremely well informed, and it made no difference so the goal is drain the pocket book at every expense, they can afford to pay whatever!!, so you quit and go away; we finally did, 'cuz we could not spend that much every five months just on lawyer fees!!!

Ruthie Dolezal

From: ppanda65@...Date: Fri, 6 Jun 2008 06:43:13 -0400Subject: Re: ( ) IEP Tomorrow

In a message dated 6/5/2008 5:53:59 PM Eastern Daylight Time, w_wittmayer writes:

We are looking at a $2000 bill for an IEP advocate

You may want to contact your local Parent Training Information Center. They sometimes provide mentors for free. Pam

Get trade secrets for amazing burgers. Watch "Cooking with Tyler Florence" on AOL Food.