Re: New Topic - In need of reassurance or advice

May 24, 2008

Hello,

One of the first things I thought of was to take a picture of the bruises. I got so wrapped up in what was happening with all the letters flying about that I completely forgot to take the picture. I really regret it now.

DOK Grace Chapter

"Prayer without work is empty words,service without prayer is labor lost."

Re: ( ) New Topic - In need of reassurance or advice

Oh .

I'm so sorry.

First,,,,,,did you take any pix of his bruise?

Also,,,,,,hopefully you are documenting all of this.

I think, in my opinion,,,,, you have a decision to make.

Either pull him and keep him home (or find a new school) OR

Fight the school.

They aren't doing what they should.

Is there any way you can contact your local or state autism society and just explain what has happened/is happening and see what they say?

I wish I had more to say.....I've pulled my son and he's a new guy!!!

It was a decision that had to be made....and I wasn't willing to fight.

Please keep us posted.

Hugs to you.

Robin "Normal is just a cycle on a washing machine" Wallbank <w_wittmayer> wrote:

Ok.......where to begin? My son (age 9 June 1) was diagnosed with AS June of last year. For 3 years the public school kept my son in SST (Student Support Team). They said he did not qualify for further testing at that time. Even though he displayed symptoms that were affecting his school day. At the end of first grade it was so clear that something was seriously wrong. It went beyond the initial ADHD diagnosis. We took all the steps and my son got the AS diagnosis. I insisted at that time he be tested for an IEP. Beginning of the next school year he was tested and did qualify for special services under the Autism diagnosis. The IEP allowed for a parapro to be with my son in the afternoon only. Not on recess.....where social interaction can be challenging. To say the least. Sometimes, he ate lunch without the parapro. Another social time with noise and lots of motion.

My son did well during the 2nd grade school year. He began to become obsessed with a little friend named Hannah. He would get angry when she spoke to other boys. He would get angry if she didn't say hello to him. The relationship became very black and white as the year progressed. Hannah has done her best to be a friend to my son. 2 weeks ago my son got into the car and the VP told me that he had bruises on his face. That he had hit himself because he couldn't sit next to Hannah. I asked why did they not call me immediately? She said the bruises did not appear until school was almost out. YET......they found my son in the cafeteria laying in a fetal position, violently slapping himself across the face. All the kids in the lunchroom were standing on chairs to see what was happening. Hannah believed my son was having a heart attack. It scared her so much. No one called to tell me this had happened. Not one call. My son had a bruise that took

up the whole left side of his face and a large area behind his ear. You better believe if he had come into school with bruises like that...they would have called DFACS. When I questioned them further, they acted as if it was nothing. Teachers were writing letters to Hannah's mother (who I am friends with), Hannah's teacher was calling her. Hannah's teacher was going to my son's teacher and talking. Hannah's mother was writing letters to both Principals and to teachers. I wrote letters to the Principals and my son's teacher. They all called Hannah's mother back. Did I get a phone call? NOPE. I wrote a letter to the lead teacher for Special Education. I was firm and stated that she would change his IEP before the school year ends. She would have a solution. The only relief in all this is that she did call me back. She did change his IEP to take him out of the main classroom and into the Inclusion/Co- Teaching classroom. He will have a

normal 3rd grade teacher and a special ed. teacher all day.

He came home upset over Hannah again Monday of this week. (Last week of school) I decided to keep him home the rest of the week to remove the stresses of seeing Hannah. The obsession needs to be under control. Out of sight, out of mind. The last 2 days he has not said anything about Hannah or other boys that talk to her. I took him to school to pick up his things. They refused to let me go back with him. Saying we would disrupt the class. Which I guess I can understand. But, it was their time for recess. They told me he could not say goodbye to his friends under the circumstances. I was not yelling. I never made a scene. Never said anything out of line. I did say that I felt they were not doing all they could to help in this final week of school. We would see them next year. The VP gave me a nasty look and walked away.

It was the first time I have really been so hurt and felt so betrayed by the school. I always felt they should have tested him earlier. He should not have been in SST for that long. They finally did the testing as he went into second grade. Done at my insistance. I came armed with ALL his medical records. He did qualify for special services for Autistic children. We have been supportive of their recommendations. But...... . My son coming home from a melt down like that, with a huge bruise on his face, was so shocking to me. Shouldn't they call to tell me my son was found in the cafeteria in a fetal position slapping himself? They acted as if it was nothing. I came to question the teachers the next day. The VP spoke with me. Again, they acted as if I was nuts. Like they could not understand what I was upset about. I'm more upset than I have ever been with the school. I have kept my mouth shut for 4 years. Been cooperative. Then they treat

my family this way. Gave a ton of support to Hannah's family.....as well they should have. NO support for my son or myself. I am absolutely furious. I really wonder now if he is safe at school. Those bruises don't show up like they did by one or two slaps to the face. He had been hitting his face HARD for a while before anyone got to him.

For anyone who read through this.....thanks. Thanks for letting me vent. I just don't know what to do. Not sure if I am wrong and need to give them a break. Or, if I am right. They did not protect my son.

May 24, 2008

My prayers and heart go out to you. As I read the

story I cried. I believe everything you said which is

REALLY UnBelieveable! What has come of our society and

our schools! How could this be? I feel for you and

your son! I work in a school and I wish I could have

been there for you son to hold and hug him. Our

children are so misundertood!

This can not be....if your son never goes back there

the school and staff should be made accountable! This

is horrible. I hope you took pictures of your sons

face, took his to the doctor. I hope you documented

everything. I would contact an advocate, the school

board, the newspaper and your state's educational

department. This ShOULd NEVER have HAPPENED and WHY on

EARTh were you not called. What if he did have a heart

attack? Stress can do lots of things to the body. I

would not blame you if you homeschooled him ...maybe

the school should have to pay for your son to be son

in another school that is APPROPRIATE and MeETS his

NEEDS! And, if all fails contact a lawyer...a lawyer

who is familiar with the educational system.

Sometimes you need to stand up and fight...even though

it hurts that they people are giving you dirty looks.

Just know in your heart that it is YOUR SON and he

needs all the assistance he can get. Obviously they

are not doing their job, don't understand AS, don't

want to deal with it. But, TOO BAD! It exists and they

need to stand up to the plate and accommodate our

children. It is " them " who are wrong...not

you...ignore their looks as they are ignorant. And,

once you make a Big enough Stink (and you are in the

right) they will pull out the red carpet for you. They

do not want the STATE under their butts! If they want

to act like that then you need to start the

fire.....they are irresponsible and failed to provide

safety to your child. When the school has our

children they are the parents or legal guardian and

they did nothing nothing to help your child. Now they

must answer to this ...both in their hearts and from

the Board of Education all the way up the chain! Shame

on them!

I pray that you follow through with this and make a

STATEMENT! Put is on the news! The school systems need

to WAKE UP! We all need to do our part for our

children. Maybe if we broadcast loud enough maybe then

they'll listen. Schools can not do what they want.

They must follow the rules too! And, they must be made

accountable for their actions.

I am 100% behind you! This is HORRIBLE! Hugs to you

and your son! It is not you or your son that are

" terrible or bad " ....it is the teachers and staff who

did not protect your son! Don't mind their looks etc.

Stand tall and know that you are doing the BEST that

you can and that we are all here for you 100% and that

they are the ones who should be ashamed and they must

be made accountable for their actions!

God Bless you! Give yourself a hug from me and give

one to your son!

Jan

--- and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote:

> Oh .

> I'm so sorry.

> First,,,,,,did you take any pix of his bruise?

> Also,,,,,,hopefully you are documenting all of

> this.

> I think, in my opinion,,,,,you have a decision to

> make.

> Either pull him and keep him home (or find a new

> school) OR

> Fight the school.

> They aren't doing what they should.

> Is there any way you can contact your local or

> state autism society and just explain what has

> happened/is happening and see what they say?

> I wish I had more to say.....I've pulled my son

> and he's a new guy!!!

> It was a decision that had to be made....and I

> wasn't willing to fight.

> Please keep us posted.

> Hugs to you.

>

> Robin

> " Normal is just a cycle on a washing machine "

>

> Wallbank <w_wittmayer@...> wrote:

>

> Ok.......where to begin? My son (age 9 June 1) was

> diagnosed with AS June of last year. For 3 years the

> public school kept my son in SST (Student Support

> Team). They said he did not qualify for further

> testing at that time. Even though he displayed

> symptoms that were affecting his school day. At the

> end of first grade it was so clear that something

> was seriously wrong. It went beyond the initial ADHD

> diagnosis. We took all the steps and my son got the

> AS diagnosis. I insisted at that time he be tested

> for an IEP. Beginning of the next school year he was

> tested and did qualify for special services under

> the Autism diagnosis. The IEP allowed for a parapro

> to be with my son in the afternoon only. Not on

> recess.....where social interaction can be

> challenging. To say the least. Sometimes, he ate

> lunch without the parapro. Another social time with

> noise and lots of motion.

>

> My son did well during the 2nd grade school year.

> He began to become obsessed with a little friend

> named Hannah. He would get angry when she spoke to

> other boys. He would get angry if she didn't say

> hello to him. The relationship became very black and

> white as the year progressed. Hannah has done her

> best to be a friend to my son. 2 weeks ago my son

> got into the car and the VP told me that he had

> bruises on his face. That he had hit himself because

> he couldn't sit next to Hannah. I asked why did they

> not call me immediately? She said the bruises did

> not appear until school was almost out.

> YET......they found my son in the cafeteria laying

> in a fetal position, violently slapping himself

> across the face. All the kids in the lunchroom were

> standing on chairs to see what was happening. Hannah

> believed my son was having a heart attack. It scared

> her so much. No one called to tell me this had

> happened. Not one call. My son had a bruise that

> took up the whole left side of his

> face and a large area behind his ear. You better

> believe if he had come into school with bruises like

> that...they would have called DFACS. When I

> questioned them further, they acted as if it was

> nothing. Teachers were writing letters to Hannah's

> mother (who I am friends with), Hannah's teacher was

> calling her. Hannah's teacher was going to my son's

> teacher and talking. Hannah's mother was writing

> letters to both Principals and to teachers. I wrote

> letters to the Principals and my son's teacher. They

> all called Hannah's mother back. Did I get a phone

> call? NOPE. I wrote a letter to the lead teacher for

> Special Education. I was firm and stated that she

> would change his IEP before the school year ends.

> She would have a solution. The only relief in all

> this is that she did call me back. She did change

> his IEP to take him out of the main classroom and

> into the Inclusion/Co-Teaching classroom. He will

> have a normal 3rd grade teacher and a special ed.

> teacher all day.

>

> He came home upset over Hannah again Monday of

> this week. (Last week of school) I decided to keep

> him home the rest of the week to remove the stresses

> of seeing Hannah. The obsession needs to be under

> control. Out of sight, out of mind. The last 2 days

> he has not said anything about Hannah or other boys

> that talk to her. I took him to school to pick up

> his things. They refused to let me go back with him.

> Saying we would disrupt the class. Which I guess I

> can understand. But, it was their time for recess.

> They told me he could not say goodbye to his friends

> under the circumstances. I was not yelling. I never

> made a scene. Never said anything out of line. I did

> say that I felt they were not doing all they could

> to help in this final week of school. We

> would see them next year. The VP gave me a nasty

> look and walked away.

>

> It was the first time I have really been so hurt

> and felt so betrayed by the school. I always felt

> they should have tested him earlier. He should not

> have been in SST for that long. They finally did

> the testing as he went into second grade. Done at my

> insistance. I came armed with ALL his medical

> records. He did qualify for special services for

> Autistic children. We have been supportive of their

> recommendations.But....... My son coming home from a

> melt down like that, with a huge bruise on his face,

> was so shocking to me. Shouldn't they call to tell

> me my son was found in the cafeteria in a fetal

> position slapping himself? They acted as if it was

> nothing. I came to question the teachers the next

> day. The VP spoke with me. Again, they acted as if I

> was nuts. Like they could not understand what I was

> upset about. I'm more upset than I have ever been

> with the school. I have kept my mouth shut for 4

> years. Been cooperative. Then they treat my family

> this way. Gave a ton of

> support to Hannah's family.....as well they should

> have. NO support for my son or myself. I am

> absolutely furious. I really wonder now if he is

> safe at school. Those bruises don't show up like

> they did by one or two slaps to the face. He had

> been hitting his face HARD for a while before anyone

> got to him.

>

> For anyone who read through this.....thanks.

> Thanks for letting me vent. I just don't know what

> to do. Not sure if I am wrong and need to give them

> a break. Or, if I am right. They did not protect my

> son.

>

Janice Rushen

Mom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant,

Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board Artist

Nanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt,

Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide,

Student, Believer, and Giver.

May 24, 2008

When you are in the trenches with it all, it is hard to get to

everything. Hang in there.

>

> Hello,

> One of the first things I thought of was to take a picture of the

bruises. I got so wrapped up in what was happening with all the

letters flying about that I completely forgot to take the picture. I

really regret it now.

>

> DOK Grace Chapter

> " Prayer without work is empty words,

> service without prayer is labor lost. "

>

May 24, 2008

....

I hope you read my reply and you still must make the

school accountable. There are plenty of people who saw

his face! Just keep records of everything ...date,

time, names...etc. And, don't let this slide! What

would happen the next time? And, what if his heart had

gone out of control with the stress????? Who knows!?

This was inexcusable by the school and should NEVER be

allowed to happen again!!!!!

Jan

someone who works in a school!

Hugs to you and your son!

Read my other statement!

--- Wallbank <w_wittmayer@...> wrote:

> Hello,

> One of the first things I thought of was to take a

> picture of the bruises. I got so wrapped up in what

> was happening with all the letters flying about that

> I completely forgot to take the picture. I really

> regret it now.

>

> DOK Grace Chapter

> " Prayer without work is empty words,

> service without prayer is labor lost. "

>

> Re: ( ) New Topic - In need

> of reassurance or advice

>

> Oh .

> I'm so sorry.

> First,,,,,,did you take any pix of his bruise?

> Also,,,,,,hopefully you are documenting all of this.

> I think, in my opinion,,,,, you have a decision to

> make.

> Either pull him and keep him home (or find a new

> school) OR

> Fight the school.

> They aren't doing what they should.

> Is there any way you can contact your local or state

> autism society and just explain what has happened/is

> happening and see what they say?

> I wish I had more to say.....I've pulled my son and

> he's a new guy!!!

> It was a decision that had to be made....and I

> wasn't willing to fight.

> Please keep us posted.

> Hugs to you.

>

> Robin

> " Normal is just a cycle on a washing machine "

>

> Wallbank <w_wittmayer> wrote:

> Ok.......where to begin? My son (age 9 June 1) was

> diagnosed with AS June of last year. For 3 years the

> public school kept my son in SST (Student Support

> Team). They said he did not qualify for further

> testing at that time. Even though he displayed

> symptoms that were affecting his school day. At the

> end of first grade it was so clear that something

> was seriously wrong. It went beyond the initial ADHD

> diagnosis. We took all the steps and my son got the

> AS diagnosis. I insisted at that time he be tested

> for an IEP. Beginning of the next school year he was

> tested and did qualify for special services under

> the Autism diagnosis. The IEP allowed for a parapro

> to be with my son in the afternoon only. Not on

> recess.....where social interaction can be

> challenging. To say the least. Sometimes, he ate

> lunch without the parapro. Another social time with

> noise and lots of motion.

>

> My son did well during the 2nd grade school year. He

> began to become obsessed with a little friend named

> Hannah. He would get angry when she spoke to other

> boys. He would get angry if she didn't say hello to

> him. The relationship became very black and white as

> the year progressed. Hannah has done her best to be

> a friend to my son. 2 weeks ago my son got into the

> car and the VP told me that he had bruises on his

> face. That he had hit himself because he couldn't

> sit next to Hannah. I asked why did they not call me

> immediately? She said the bruises did not appear

> until school was almost out. YET......they found my

> son in the cafeteria laying in a fetal position,

> violently slapping himself across the face. All the

> kids in the lunchroom were standing on chairs to see

> what was happening. Hannah believed my son was

> having a heart attack. It scared her so much. No one

> called to tell me this had happened. Not one

> call. My son had a bruise that took up the whole

> left side of his face and a large area behind his

> ear. You better believe if he had come into school

> with bruises like that...they would have called

> DFACS. When I questioned them further, they acted as

> if it was nothing. Teachers were writing letters to

> Hannah's mother (who I am friends with), Hannah's

> teacher was calling her. Hannah's teacher was going

> to my son's teacher and talking. Hannah's mother was

> writing letters to both Principals and to teachers.

> I wrote letters to the Principals and my son's

> teacher. They all called Hannah's mother back. Did I

> get a phone call? NOPE. I wrote a letter to the lead

> teacher for Special Education. I was firm and stated

> that she would change his IEP before the school year

> ends. She would have a solution. The only relief in

> all this is that she did call me back. She did

> change his IEP to take him out of the main classroom

> and into the Inclusion/Co- Teaching classroom. He

> will have a normal 3rd grade teacher and

> a special ed. teacher all day.

>

> He came home upset over Hannah again Monday of this

> week. (Last week of school) I decided to keep him

> home the rest of the week to remove the stresses of

> seeing Hannah. The obsession needs to be under

> control. Out of sight, out of mind. The last 2 days

> he has not said anything about Hannah or other boys

> that talk to her. I took him to school to pick up

> his things. They refused to let me go back with him.

> Saying we would disrupt the class. Which I guess I

> can understand. But, it was their time for recess.

> They told me he could not say goodbye to his friends

> under the circumstances. I was not yelling. I never

> made a scene. Never said anything out of line. I did

> say that I felt they were not doing all they could

> to help in this final week of school. We

> would see them next year. The VP gave me a nasty

> look and walked away.

>

> It was the first time I have really been so hurt and

> felt so betrayed by the school. I always felt

> they should have tested him earlier. He should not

> have been in SST for that long. They finally did

> the testing as he went into second grade. Done at my

> insistance. I came armed with ALL his medical

> records. He did qualify for special services for

> Autistic children. We have been supportive of their

> recommendations. But...... . My son coming home from

> a melt down like that, with a huge bruise on his

> face, was so shocking to me. Shouldn't they call to

> tell me my son was found in the cafeteria in a fetal

> position slapping himself? They acted as if it was

> nothing. I came to question the teachers the next

> day. The VP spoke with me. Again, they acted as if I

> was nuts. Like they could not understand what I was

> upset about. I'm more upset than I have ever been

> with the school. I have kept my mouth shut for 4

> years. Been cooperative. Then they treat my family

> this way. Gave a ton of support to Hannah's

> family.....as well they should have. NO support for

> my son or myself. I am absolutely furious. I really

> wonder now if he is safe at school. Those bruises

> don't show up like they did by one or two slaps to

> the face. He had been hitting his face HARD for a

> while before anyone got to him.

>

> For anyone who read through this.....thanks. Thanks

> for letting me vent. I just don't know what to do.

> Not sure if I am wrong and need to give them a

> break. Or, if I am right. They did not protect my

> son.

>

Janice Rushen

Mom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant,

Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board Artist

Nanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt,

Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide,

Student, Believer, and Giver.

May 25, 2008

Hello Jan,

Thank you for your support and encouragement. I kept all the letters I wrote to the school. My plans are to send those letters to the school board and possibly call State. Have the State do an investigation of what happened. As you said, make the school accounatable. They know they are at fault. They had the special ed lead call me so fast and she changed his IEP very quickly. At my insistance. They knew they had to do something quick so that they can say they took the appropriate steps. My point is they didn't take steps to prevent what happend. They didn't take steps to seperate Hannah and . They didn't call me to communicate what had been happening at school. After the melt-down there was no phone call, no report, no nurse visit, poor follow-up on the part of the Principals. I'm in such a daze. Fortunately, is doing good.

IF we continue on at this school I am bringing an IEP advocate with us to the meeting at the beginning of the school year. I may even bring my son's autism specialist himself. Dr. Montgomery will advocate for kids in situations like this. I am going to talk with an advocate next week.

Wallbank - Wittmayer

DOK Grace Chapter

"Prayer without work is empty words,service without prayer is labor lost."

Re: ( ) New Topic - In need> of reassurance or advice> > > Oh .> I'm so sorry.> First,,,,,,did you take any pix of his bruise?> Also,,,,,,hopefully you are documenting all of this.> I think, in my

opinion,,,,, you have a decision to> make.> Either pull him and keep him home (or find a new> school) OR> Fight the school.> They aren't doing what they should.> Is there any way you can contact your local or state> autism society and just explain what has happened/is> happening and see what they say?> I wish I had more to say.....I've pulled my son and> he's a new guy!!! > It was a decision that had to be made....and I> wasn't willing to fight.> Please keep us posted.> Hugs to you.> > Robin > "Normal is just a cycle on a washing machine"> > Wallbank <w_wittmayer> wrote:> Ok.......where to begin? My son (age 9 June 1) was> diagnosed with AS June of last year. For 3 years the> public school kept my son in SST (Student

Support> Team). They said he did not qualify for further> testing at that time. Even though he displayed> symptoms that were affecting his school day. At the> end of first grade it was so clear that something> was seriously wrong. It went beyond the initial ADHD> diagnosis. We took all the steps and my son got the> AS diagnosis. I insisted at that time he be tested> for an IEP. Beginning of the next school year he was> tested and did qualify for special services under> the Autism diagnosis. The IEP allowed for a parapro> to be with my son in the afternoon only. Not on> recess.....where social interaction can be> challenging. To say the least. Sometimes, he ate> lunch without the parapro. Another social time with> noise and lots of motion. > > My son did well during the 2nd grade school year. He> began to become

obsessed with a little friend named> Hannah. He would get angry when she spoke to other> boys. He would get angry if she didn't say hello to> him. The relationship became very black and white as> the year progressed. Hannah has done her best to be> a friend to my son. 2 weeks ago my son got into the> car and the VP told me that he had bruises on his> face. That he had hit himself because he couldn't> sit next to Hannah. I asked why did they not call me> immediately? She said the bruises did not appear> until school was almost out. YET......they found my> son in the cafeteria laying in a fetal position,> violently slapping himself across the face. All the> kids in the lunchroom were standing on chairs to see> what was happening. Hannah believed my son was> having a heart attack. It scared her so much. No one> called to tell me this had

happened. Not one> call. My son had a bruise that took up the whole> left side of his face and a large area behind his> ear. You better believe if he had come into school> with bruises like that...they would have called> DFACS. When I questioned them further, they acted as> if it was nothing. Teachers were writing letters to> Hannah's mother (who I am friends with), Hannah's> teacher was calling her. Hannah's teacher was going> to my son's teacher and talking. Hannah's mother was> writing letters to both Principals and to teachers.> I wrote letters to the Principals and my son's> teacher. They all called Hannah's mother back. Did I> get a phone call? NOPE. I wrote a letter to the lead> teacher for Special Education. I was firm and stated> that she would change his IEP before the school year> ends. She would have a

solution. The only relief in> all this is that she did call me back. She did> change his IEP to take him out of the main classroom> and into the Inclusion/Co- Teaching classroom. He> will have a normal 3rd grade teacher and> a special ed. teacher all day. > > He came home upset over Hannah again Monday of this> week. (Last week of school) I decided to keep him> home the rest of the week to remove the stresses of> seeing Hannah. The obsession needs to be under> control. Out of sight, out of mind. The last 2 days> he has not said anything about Hannah or other boys> that talk to her. I took him to school to pick up> his things. They refused to let me go back with him.> Saying we would disrupt the class. Which I guess I> can understand. But, it was their time for recess.> They told me he could not say goodbye to his

friends> under the circumstances. I was not yelling. I never> made a scene. Never said anything out of line. I did> say that I felt they were not doing all they could> to help in this final week of school. We> would see them next year. The VP gave me a nasty> look and walked away. > > It was the first time I have really been so hurt and> felt so betrayed by the school. I always felt> they should have tested him earlier. He should not> have been in SST for that long. They finally did > the testing as he went into second grade. Done at my> insistance. I came armed with ALL his medical> records. He did qualify for special services for> Autistic children. We have been supportive of their> recommendations. But...... . My son coming home from> a melt down like that, with a huge bruise on his> face, was

so shocking to me. Shouldn't they call to> tell me my son was found in the cafeteria in a fetal> position slapping himself? They acted as if it was> nothing. I came to question the teachers the next> day. The VP spoke with me. Again, they acted as if I> was nuts. Like they could not understand what I was> upset about. I'm more upset than I have ever been> with the school. I have kept my mouth shut for 4> years. Been cooperative. Then they treat my family> this way. Gave a ton of support to Hannah's> family.....as well they should have. NO support for> my son or myself. I am absolutely furious. I really> wonder now if he is safe at school. Those bruises> don't show up like they did by one or two slaps to> the face. He had been hitting his face HARD for a> while before anyone got to him. > > For anyone who read through

this.....thanks. Thanks> for letting me vent. I just don't know what to do.> Not sure if I am wrong and need to give them a> break. Or, if I am right. They did not protect my> son. > > > Janice RushenMom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant,Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board ArtistNanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt,Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide,Student, Believer, and Giver.

May 25, 2008

,

Bravo to you! Stand up straight and tall and be proud!

You probably have the sweetest child in the

world....too bad they are misunderstood ...like my

son....but we must make the schools aware and

accountable!!!!! Good for you! I will keep you and

your son in my prayers.

I will be attending my son's IEP on Wed. for next

year. All I hear is....7th grade is hard, math is fast

and he has to be prepared! They are going to hold his

hand...etc. etc. So my thoughts are ...So what are we

going to do about this????????????????? What is the

school going to do to enable my son to obtain an

education and be productive in school.....he is not

responsbile, he is not mature for his age, he has

senssory and motor skill problems, he is hyper, he is

anxious all the time and very very stressed. So, how

do we help him????? He is going into 7th and his

reading,english and math skills are on the 4th grade

level. He will be in pull out (sp.ed.) for those

classes. Oh, how I hate the school system sometimes

and I work in it! Ugh! You didn't hear that from

me...ha! ha!

All I know is that if I had been there ....I would

have been holding your son tightly as I could

....hugging him...my word what is coming to this world.

Did they not see he was in a melt down! And, hurting

himself at that! OMG!

Keep up the faith!

Jan

--- Wallbank <w_wittmayer@...> wrote:

> Hello Jan,

> Thank you for your support and encouragement. I kept

> all the letters I wrote to the school. My plans are

> to send those letters to the school board and

> possibly call State. Have the State do an

> investigation of what happened. As you said, make

> the school accounatable. They know they are at

> fault. They had the special ed lead call me so fast

> and she changed his IEP very quickly. At my

> insistance. They knew they had to do something quick

> so that they can say they took the appropriate

> steps. My point is they didn't take steps to prevent

> what happend. They didn't take steps to seperate

> Hannah and . They didn't call me to

> communicate what had been happening at school. After

> the melt-down there was no phone call, no report, no

> nurse visit, poor follow-up on the part of the

> Principals. I'm in such a daze. Fortunately,

> is doing good.

> IF we continue on at this school I am bringing an

> IEP advocate with us to the meeting at the beginning

> of the school year. I may even bring my son's autism

> specialist himself. Dr. Montgomery will advocate for

> kids in situations like this. I am going to talk

> with an advocate next week.

>

> Wallbank - Wittmayer

> DOK Grace Chapter

> " Prayer without work is empty words,

> service without prayer is labor lost. "

>

> Re: ( ) New Topic - In

> need

> > of reassurance or advice

> >

> > Oh .

> > I'm so sorry.

> > First,,,,,,did you take any pix of his bruise?

> > Also,,,,,,hopefully you are documenting all of

> this.

> > I think, in my opinion,,,,, you have a decision to

> > make.

> > Either pull him and keep him home (or find a new

> > school) OR

> > Fight the school.

> > They aren't doing what they should.

> > Is there any way you can contact your local or

> state

> > autism society and just explain what has

> happened/is

> > happening and see what they say?

> > I wish I had more to say.....I've pulled my son

> and

> > he's a new guy!!!

> > It was a decision that had to be made....and I

> > wasn't willing to fight.

> > Please keep us posted.

> > Hugs to you.

> >

> > Robin

> > " Normal is just a cycle on a washing machine "

> >

> > Wallbank <w_wittmayer> wrote:

> > Ok.......where to begin? My son (age 9 June 1) was

> > diagnosed with AS June of last year. For 3 years

> the

> > public school kept my son in SST (Student Support

> > Team). They said he did not qualify for further

> > testing at that time. Even though he displayed

> > symptoms that were affecting his school day. At

> the

> > end of first grade it was so clear that something

> > was seriously wrong. It went beyond the initial

> ADHD

> > diagnosis. We took all the steps and my son got

> the

> > AS diagnosis. I insisted at that time he be tested

> > for an IEP. Beginning of the next school year he

> was

> > tested and did qualify for special services under

> > the Autism diagnosis. The IEP allowed for a

> parapro

> > to be with my son in the afternoon only. Not on

> > recess.....where social interaction can be

> > challenging. To say the least. Sometimes, he ate

> > lunch without the parapro. Another social time

> with

> > noise and lots of motion.

> >

> > My son did well during the 2nd grade school year.

> He

> > began to become obsessed with a little friend

> named

> > Hannah. He would get angry when she spoke to other

> > boys. He would get angry if she didn't say hello

> to

> > him. The relationship became very black and white

> as

> > the year progressed. Hannah has done her best to

> be

> > a friend to my son. 2 weeks ago my son got into

> the

> > car and the VP told me that he had bruises on his

> > face. That he had hit himself because he couldn't

> > sit next to Hannah. I asked why did they not call

> me

> > immediately? She said the bruises did not appear

> > until school was almost out. YET......they found

> my

> > son in the cafeteria laying in a fetal position,

> > violently slapping himself across the face. All

> the

> > kids in the lunchroom were standing on chairs to

> see

> > what was happening. Hannah believed my son was

> > having a heart attack. It scared her so much. No

> one

> > called to tell me this had happened. Not one

> > call. My son had a bruise that took up the whole

> > left side of his face and a large area behind his

> > ear. You better believe if he had come into school

> > with bruises like that...they would have called

> > DFACS. When I questioned them further, they acted

> as

> > if it was nothing. Teachers were writing letters

> to

> > Hannah's mother (who I am friends with), Hannah's

> > teacher was calling her. Hannah's teacher was

> going

> > to my son's teacher and talking. Hannah's mother

> was

> > writing letters to both Principals and to

> teachers.

> > I wrote letters to the Principals and my son's

> > teacher. They all called Hannah's mother back. Did

> I

> > get a phone call? NOPE. I wrote a letter to the

> lead

> > teacher for Special Education. I was firm and

> stated

> > that she would change his IEP before the school

> year

> > ends. She would have a solution. The only relief

> in

> > all this is that she did call me back. She did

> > change his IEP to take him out of the main

> classroom

>

=== message truncated ===

Janice Rushen

Mom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant,

Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board Artist

Nanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt,

Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide,

Student, Believer, and Giver.

May 25, 2008

,Can you call CPS (Child Protective Services) or whatever they call it in your state? This sounds like child abuse to me. When I was teaching, this would be something that I would have been required to report. I would report the school. It works both ways. Did you photograph the bruises? I hope he feels better soon.Best wishes,LizOn May 23, 2008, at 6:49 PM, Wallbank wrote:My son did well during the 2nd grade school year. He began to become obsessed with a little friend named Hannah. He would get angry when she spoke to other boys. He would get angry if she didn't say hello to him. The relationship became very black and white as the year progressed. Hannah has done her best to be a friend to my son. 2 weeks ago my son got into the car and the VP told me that he had bruises on his face. That he had hit himself because he couldn't sit next to Hannah. I asked why did they not call me immediately? She said the bruises did not appear until school was almost out. YET......they found my son in the cafeteria laying in a fetal position, violently slapping himself across the face. All the kids in the lunchroom were standing on chairs to see what was happening. Hannah believed my son was having a heart attack. It scared her so much. No one called to tell me this had happened. Not one call. My son had a bruise that took up the whole left side of his face and a large area behind his ear. You better believe if he had come into school with bruises like that...they would have called DFACS. When I questioned them further, they acted as if it was nothing. Teachers were writing letters to Hannah's mother (who I am friends with), Hannah's teacher was calling her. Hannah's teacher was going to my son's teacher and talking. Hannah's mother was writing letters to both Principals and to teachers. I wrote letters to the Principals and my son's teacher. They all called Hannah's mother back. Did I get a phone call? NOPE. I wrote a letter to the lead teacher for Special Education. I was firm and stated that she would change his IEP before the school year ends. She would have a solution. The only relief in all this is that she did call me back. She did change his IEP to take him out of the main classroom and into the Inclusion/Co-Teaching classroom. He will have a normal 3rd grade teacher and a special ed. teacher all day. He came home upset over Hannah again Monday of this week. (Last week of school) I decided to keep him home the rest of the week to remove the stresses of seeing Hannah. The obsession needs to be under control. Out of sight, out of mind. The last 2 days he has not said anything about Hannah or other boys that talk to her. I took him to school to pick up his things. They refused to let me go back with him. Saying we would disrupt the class. Which I guess I can understand. But, it was their time for recess. They told me he could not say goodbye to his friends under the circumstances. I was not yelling. I never made a scene. Never said anything out of line. I did say that I felt they were not doing all they could to help in this final week of school. We would see them next year. The VP gave me a nasty look and walked away. It was the first time I have really been so hurt and felt so betrayed by the school. I always felt they should have tested him earlier. He should not have been in SST for that long. They finally did the testing as he went into second grade. Done at my insistance. I came armed with ALL his medical records. He did qualify for special services for Autistic children. We have been supportive of their recommendations.But....... My son coming home from a melt down like that, with a huge bruise on his face, was so shocking to me. Shouldn't they call to tell me my son was found in the cafeteria in a fetal position slapping himself? They acted as if it was nothing. I came to question the teachers the next day. The VP spoke with me. Again, they acted as if I was nuts. Like they could not understand what I was upset about. I'm more upset than I have ever been with the school. I have kept my mouth shut for 4 years. Been cooperative. Then they treat my family this way. Gave a ton of support to Hannah's family.....as well they should have. NO support for my son or myself. I am absolutely furious. I really wonder now if he is safe at school. Those bruises don't show up like they did by one or two slaps to the face. He had been hitting his face HARD for a while before anyone got to him. For anyone who read through this.....thanks. Thanks for letting me vent. I just don't know what to do. Not sure if I am wrong and need to give them a break. Or, if I am right. They did not protect my son.

May 25, 2008

Hi , The situation that occurred with your son sounded horrible. My heart is so saddened for him. These little guys get so stuck on something and they can't stop.I think it's disgusting that you didn't receive a call. I don't know where you live but I found public school in my area unsafe for my son. Schools today blame the victim. My son had a few really compassionate teachers but the older he got the less compassionate the teachers became and the meaner the kids got.Are there other schools in your area? Can you home school? Does he have other friends to distract him from this horrendous situation? I'm so sorry that this happened. I don't think teachers or administrative staff are being prepared to deal with kids

with special needs.It's sad and the kids suffer. Jody "Be the change you want to see in the world" Gandhi Re: ( ) New Topic - In need of reassurance or advice ,Can you call CPS (Child Protective Services) or whatever they call it in your state? This sounds like child abuse to me. When I was teaching, this would be something that I would have been required to report. I would report the school. It works both ways. Did you photograph the bruises? I hope he feels better soon.Best wishes,LizOn May 23, 2008, at 6:49 PM, Wallbank wrote:My son did well during the 2nd grade school year. He began to become obsessed with a little friend named Hannah. He would get angry when she spoke to other boys. He would get angry if she didn't say hello to him. The relationship became very black and white as the year progressed. Hannah has done her best to be a friend to my son. 2 weeks ago my son got into the car and the VP told me that he had bruises on his face. That he had hit himself because he couldn't sit next to Hannah. I asked why did they not call me immediately? She said the bruises did not appear until school was almost out. YET......they found my son in the cafeteria laying in a fetal position, violently slapping himself across the face. All the

kids in the lunchroom were standing on chairs to see what was happening. Hannah believed my son was having a heart attack. It scared her so much. No one called to tell me this had happened. Not one call. My son had a bruise that took up the whole left side of his face and a large area behind his ear. You better believe if he had come into school with bruises like that...they would have called DFACS. When I questioned them further, they acted as if it was nothing. Teachers were writing letters to Hannah's mother (who I am friends with), Hannah's teacher was calling her. Hannah's teacher was going to my son's teacher and talking. Hannah's mother was writing letters to both Principals and to teachers. I wrote letters to the Principals and my son's teacher. They all called Hannah's mother back. Did I get a phone call? NOPE. I wrote a letter to the lead teacher for Special Education. I was firm and stated that she would change his

IEP before the school year ends. She would have a solution. The only relief in all this is that she did call me back. She did change his IEP to take him out of the main classroom and into the Inclusion/Co- Teaching classroom. He will have a normal 3rd grade teacher and a special ed. teacher all day. He came home upset over Hannah again Monday of this week. (Last week of school) I decided to keep him home the rest of the week to remove the stresses of seeing Hannah. The obsession needs to be under control. Out of sight, out of mind. The last 2 days he has not said anything about Hannah or other boys that talk to her. I took him to school to pick up his things. They refused to let me go back with him. Saying we would disrupt the class. Which I guess I can understand. But, it was their time for recess. They told me he could not say goodbye to his friends under the circumstances. I was not yelling. I never made a scene.

Never said anything out of line. I did say that I felt they were not doing all they could to help in this final week of school. We would see them next year. The VP gave me a nasty look and walked away. It was the first time I have really been so hurt and felt so betrayed by the school. I always felt they should have tested him earlier. He should not have been in SST for that long. They finally did the testing as he went into second grade. Done at my insistance. I came armed with ALL his medical records. He did qualify for special services for Autistic children. We have been supportive of their recommendations. But...... . My son coming home from a melt down like that, with a huge bruise on his face, was so shocking to me. Shouldn't they call to tell me my son was found in the cafeteria in a fetal position slapping himself? They acted as if it was nothing. I came to question the teachers the next day. The

VP spoke with me. Again, they acted as if I was nuts. Like they could not understand what I was upset about. I'm more upset than I have ever been with the school. I have kept my mouth shut for 4 years. Been cooperative. Then they treat my family this way. Gave a ton of support to Hannah's family.....as well they should have. NO support for my son or myself. I am absolutely furious. I really wonder now if he is safe at school. Those bruises don't show up like they did by one or two slaps to the face. He had been hitting his face HARD for a while before anyone got to him. For anyone who read through this.....thanks. Thanks for letting me vent. I just don't know what to do. Not sure if I am wrong and need to give them a break. Or, if I am right. They did not protect my son.

May 27, 2008

Thanks Liz,

I thought about taking pictures and didn't do it. I got caught up in all the details of what was happening. Hannah;s mother was writing letters about 's obsession with Hannah. I was writing letters about his bruises and was at the school asking questions. Which the schoolacted as if I was an idiot. They said the regular scedule was off. That was why no one was with . To me, that is no excuse. They had a responsibility to have someone with my son during lunch.

I will call DFACS today to see what they have to say.

Wallbank - Wittmayer

DOK Grace Chapter

"Prayer without work is empty words,service without prayer is labor lost."

Re: ( ) New Topic - In need of reassurance or advice

,

Can you call CPS (Child Protective Services) or whatever they call it in your state? This sounds like child abuse to me. When I was teaching, this would be something that I would have been required to report. I would report the school. It works both ways. Did you photograph the bruises? I hope he feels better soon.

Best wishes,

Liz

On May 23, 2008, at 6:49 PM, Wallbank wrote:

My son did well during the 2nd grade school year. He began to become obsessed with a little friend named Hannah. He would get angry when she spoke to other boys. He would get angry if she didn't say hello to him. The relationship became very black and white as the year progressed. Hannah has done her best to be a friend to my son. 2 weeks ago my son got into the car and the VP told me that he had bruises on his face. That he had hit himself because he couldn't sit next to Hannah. I asked why did they not call me immediately? She said the bruises did not appear until school was almost out. YET......they found my son in the cafeteria laying in a fetal position, violently slapping himself across the face. All the kids in the lunchroom were standing on chairs to see what was happening. Hannah believed my son was having a heart attack. It scared her so much. No one called to tell me this had happened. Not one call. My son had a bruise that took

up the whole left side of his face and a large area behind his ear. You better believe if he had come into school with bruises like that...they would have called DFACS. When I questioned them further, they acted as if it was nothing. Teachers were writing letters to Hannah's mother (who I am friends with), Hannah's teacher was calling her. Hannah's teacher was going to my son's teacher and talking. Hannah's mother was writing letters to both Principals and to teachers. I wrote letters to the Principals and my son's teacher. They all called Hannah's mother back. Did I get a phone call? NOPE. I wrote a letter to the lead teacher for Special Education. I was firm and stated that she would change his IEP before the school year ends. She would have a solution. The only relief in all this is that she did call me back. She did change his IEP to take him out of the main classroom and into the Inclusion/Co- Teaching classroom. He will have a

normal 3rd grade teacher and a special ed. teacher all day.

He came home upset over Hannah again Monday of this week. (Last week of school) I decided to keep him home the rest of the week to remove the stresses of seeing Hannah. The obsession needs to be under control. Out of sight, out of mind. The last 2 days he has not said anything about Hannah or other boys that talk to her. I took him to school to pick up his things. They refused to let me go back with him. Saying we would disrupt the class. Which I guess I can understand. But, it was their time for recess. They told me he could not say goodbye to his friends under the circumstances. I was not yelling. I never made a scene. Never said anything out of line. I did say that I felt they were not doing all they could to help in this final week of school. We would see them next year. The VP gave me a nasty look and walked away.

It was the first time I have really been so hurt and felt so betrayed by the school. I always felt they should have tested him earlier. He should not have been in SST for that long. They finally did the testing as he went into second grade. Done at my insistance. I came armed with ALL his medical records. He did qualify for special services for Autistic children. We have been supportive of their recommendations. But...... . My son coming home from a melt down like that, with a huge bruise on his face, was so shocking to me. Shouldn't they call to tell me my son was found in the cafeteria in a fetal position slapping himself? They acted as if it was nothing. I came to question the teachers the next day. The VP spoke with me. Again, they acted as if I was nuts. Like they could not understand what I was upset about. I'm more upset than I have ever been with the school. I have kept my mouth shut for 4 years. Been cooperative. Then they treat

my family this way. Gave a ton of support to Hannah's family.....as well they should have. NO support for my son or myself. I am absolutely furious. I really wonder now if he is safe at school. Those bruises don't show up like they did by one or two slaps to the face. He had been hitting his face HARD for a while before anyone got to him.

For anyone who read through this.....thanks. Thanks for letting me vent. I just don't know what to do. Not sure if I am wrong and need to give them a break. Or, if I am right. They did not protect my son.

May 27, 2008

Hi Jodi,

As time goes on I get angrier. This was my worst fear. That something would happen at school and it would not be dealt with appropriately. That my son or any child would slip through the cracks at this school. I don't know any of the other Special Needs parents. I think I need to make it a point to get to know them! Next year they changed his IEP to place him in a Inclusion Classroom. It is a class with a regular 3rd grade teachers and a full time SN teacher.

If I call State I am afraid the complaint will be ignored because the school did change his IEP. However, the damage was already done. But, in the eyes of the state of GA. and the school, the situation was handled. No matter what happens.....we need to bring in an IEP child advocate who holds a heavy bat for the IEP meeting next year.

Wallbank - Wittmayer

DOK Grace Chapter

"Prayer without work is empty words,service without prayer is labor lost."

Re: ( ) New Topic - In need of reassurance or advice

,

Can you call CPS (Child Protective Services) or whatever they call it in your state? This sounds like child abuse to me. When I was teaching, this would be something that I would have been required to report. I would report the school. It works both ways. Did you photograph the bruises? I hope he feels better soon.

Best wishes,

Liz

On May 23, 2008, at 6:49 PM, Wallbank wrote:

My son did well during the 2nd grade school year. He began to become obsessed with a little friend named Hannah. He would get angry when she spoke to other boys. He would get angry if she didn't say hello to him. The relationship became very black and white as the year progressed. Hannah has done her best to be a friend to my son. 2 weeks ago my son got into the car and the VP told me that he had bruises on his face. That he had hit himself because he couldn't sit next to Hannah. I asked why did they not call me immediately? She said the bruises did not appear until school was almost out. YET......they found my son in the cafeteria laying in a fetal position, violently slapping himself across the face. All the kids in the lunchroom were standing on chairs to see what was happening. Hannah believed my son was having a heart attack. It scared her so much. No one called to tell me this had happened. Not one call. My son had a bruise that took

up the whole left side of his face and a large area behind his ear. You better believe if he had come into school with bruises like that...they would have called DFACS. When I questioned them further, they acted as if it was nothing. Teachers were writing letters to Hannah's mother (who I am friends with), Hannah's teacher was calling her. Hannah's teacher was going to my son's teacher and talking. Hannah's mother was writing letters to both Principals and to teachers. I wrote letters to the Principals and my son's teacher. They all called Hannah's mother back. Did I get a phone call? NOPE. I wrote a letter to the lead teacher for Special Education. I was firm and stated that she would change his IEP before the school year ends. She would have a solution. The only relief in all this is that she did call me back. She did change his IEP to take him out of the main classroom and into the Inclusion/Co- Teaching classroom. He will have a

normal 3rd grade teacher and a special ed. teacher all day.

He came home upset over Hannah again Monday of this week. (Last week of school) I decided to keep him home the rest of the week to remove the stresses of seeing Hannah. The obsession needs to be under control. Out of sight, out of mind. The last 2 days he has not said anything about Hannah or other boys that talk to her. I took him to school to pick up his things. They refused to let me go back with him. Saying we would disrupt the class. Which I guess I can understand. But, it was their time for recess. They told me he could not say goodbye to his friends under the circumstances. I was not yelling. I never made a scene. Never said anything out of line. I did say that I felt they were not doing all they could to help in this final week of school. We would see them next year. The VP gave me a nasty look and walked away.

It was the first time I have really been so hurt and felt so betrayed by the school. I always felt they should have tested him earlier. He should not have been in SST for that long. They finally did the testing as he went into second grade. Done at my insistance. I came armed with ALL his medical records. He did qualify for special services for Autistic children. We have been supportive of their recommendations. But...... . My son coming home from a melt down like that, with a huge bruise on his face, was so shocking to me. Shouldn't they call to tell me my son was found in the cafeteria in a fetal position slapping himself? They acted as if it was nothing. I came to question the teachers the next day. The VP spoke with me. Again, they acted as if I was nuts. Like they could not understand what I was upset about. I'm more upset than I have ever been with the school. I have kept my mouth shut for 4 years. Been cooperative. Then they treat

my family this way. Gave a ton of support to Hannah's family.....as well they should have. NO support for my son or myself. I am absolutely furious. I really wonder now if he is safe at school. Those bruises don't show up like they did by one or two slaps to the face. He had been hitting his face HARD for a while before anyone got to him.

For anyone who read through this.....thanks. Thanks for letting me vent. I just don't know what to do. Not sure if I am wrong and need to give them a break. Or, if I am right. They did not protect my son.

May 27, 2008

Just wanted to write and say you have been in my thoughts and prayers. It is so scary to me that this can happen to a child....

~

On May 23, 2008, at 6:49 PM, Wallbank wrote:

My son did well during the 2nd grade school year. He began to become obsessed with a little friend named Hannah. He would get angry when she spoke to other boys. He would get angry if she didn't say hello to him. The relationship became very black and white as the year progressed. Hannah has done her best to be a friend to my son. 2 weeks ago my son got into the car and the VP told me that he had bruises on his face. That he had hit himself because he couldn't sit next to Hannah. I asked why did they not call me immediately? She said the bruises did not appear until school was almost out. YET......they found my son in the cafeteria laying in a fetal position, violently slapping himself across the face. All the kids in the lunchroom were standing on chairs to see what was happening. Hannah believed my son was having a heart attack. It scared her so much. No one called to tell me this had happened. Not one call. My son had a bruise that took up the whole left side of his face and a large area behind his ear. You better believe if he had come into school with bruises like that...they would have called DFACS. When I questioned them further, they acted as if it was nothing. Teachers were writing letters to Hannah's mother (who I am friends with), Hannah's teacher was calling her. Hannah's teacher was going to my son's teacher and talking. Hannah's mother was writing letters to both Principals and to teachers. I wrote letters to the Principals and my son's teacher. They all called Hannah's mother back. Did I get a phone call? NOPE. I wrote a letter to the lead teacher for Special Education. I was firm and stated that she would change his IEP before the school year ends. She would have a solution. The only relief in all this is that she did call me back. She did change his IEP to take him out of the main classroom and into the Inclusion/Co- Teaching classroom. He will have a normal 3rd grade teacher and a special ed. teacher all day.

He came home upset over Hannah again Monday of this week. (Last week of school) I decided to keep him home the rest of the week to remove the stresses of seeing Hannah. The obsession needs to be under control. Out of sight, out of mind. The last 2 days he has not said anything about Hannah or other boys that talk to her. I took him to school to pick up his things. They refused to let me go back with him. Saying we would disrupt the class. Which I guess I can understand. But, it was their time for recess. They told me he could not say goodbye to his friends under the circumstances. I was not yelling. I never made a scene. Never said anything out of line. I did say that I felt they were not doing all they could to help in this final week of school. We would see them next year. The VP gave me a nasty look and walked away.

It was the first time I have really been so hurt and felt so betrayed by the school. I always felt they should have tested him earlier. He should not have been in SST for that long. They finally did the testing as he went into second grade. Done at my insistance. I came armed with ALL his medical records. He did qualify for special services for Autistic children. We have been supportive of their recommendations. But...... . My son coming home from a melt down like that, with a huge bruise on his face, was so shocking to me. Shouldn't they call to tell me my son was found in the cafeteria in a fetal position slapping himself? They acted as if it was nothing. I came to question the teachers the next day. The VP spoke with me. Again, they acted as if I was nuts. Like they could not understand what I was upset about. I'm more upset than I have ever been with the school. I have kept my mouth shut for 4 years. Been cooperative. Then they treat my family this way. Gave a ton of support to Hannah's family.....as well they should have. NO support for my son or myself. I am absolutely furious. I really wonder now if he is safe at school. Those bruises don't show up like they did by one or two slaps to the face. He had been hitting his face HARD for a while before anyone got to him.

For anyone who read through this.....thanks. Thanks for letting me vent. I just don't know what to do. Not sure if I am wrong and need to give them a break. Or, if I am right. They did not protect my son.

May 27, 2008

First off, livid!!!!!! Secondly, you should have been called the second he laid on that floor, first slap (if that is what really happened)....our public school's have failed us miserably but they called me chronically for every little thing; this would have been a huge thing, and they would have MADE me pick him up for the day again...................

Is your child medicated? If not, I would consider that as well as other supports to help with the meltdowns, and good therapy to aide the meltdowns and obsessions with 'Hannah' / give him the appropriate tools to fit in / what is appropriate / not appropriate, etc. As well as to help you to help him. This is not saying you are bad or anything but it is amazing the things we miss ourselves.

As for school, I would never send the child there again, period!!!!!

Ruthie Dolezal

From: jodytompros@...Date: Sun, 25 May 2008 10:43:06 -0700Subject: Re: ( ) New Topic - In need of reassurance or advice

Hi , The situation that occurred with your son sounded horrible. My heart is so saddened for him. These little guys get so stuck on something and they can't stop.I think it's disgusting that you didn't receive a call. I don't know where you live but I found public school in my area unsafe for my son. Schools today blame the victim. My son had a few really compassionate teachers but the older he got the less compassionate the teachers became and the meaner the kids got.Are there other schools in your area? Can you home school? Does he have other friends to distract him from this horrendous situation? I'm so sorry that this happened. I don't think teachers or administrative staff are being prepared to deal with kids with special needs.It's sad and the kids suffer. Jody

"Be the change you want to see in the world" Gandhi

Re: ( ) New Topic - In need of reassurance or advice

,

Can you call CPS (Child Protective Services) or whatever they call it in your state? This sounds like child abuse to me. When I was teaching, this would be something that I would have been required to report. I would report the school. It works both ways. Did you photograph the bruises? I hope he feels better soon.

Best wishes,

Liz

On May 23, 2008, at 6:49 PM, Wallbank wrote:

My son did well during the 2nd grade school year. He began to become obsessed with a little friend named Hannah. He would get angry when she spoke to other boys. He would get angry if she didn't say hello to him. The relationship became very black and white as the year progressed. Hannah has done her best to be a friend to my son. 2 weeks ago my son got into the car and the VP told me that he had bruises on his face. That he had hit himself because he couldn't sit next to Hannah. I asked why did they not call me immediately? She said the bruises did not appear until school was almost out. YET......they found my son in the cafeteria laying in a fetal position, violently slapping himself across the face. All the kids in the lunchroom were standing on chairs to see what was happening. Hannah believed my son was having a heart attack. It scared her so much. No one called to tell me this had happened. Not one call. My son had a bruise that took up the whole left side of his face and a large area behind his ear. You better believe if he had come into school with bruises like that...they would have called DFACS. When I questioned them further, they acted as if it was nothing. Teachers were writing letters to Hannah's mother (who I am friends with), Hannah's teacher was calling her. Hannah's teacher was going to my son's teacher and talking. Hannah's mother was writing letters to both Principals and to teachers. I wrote letters to the Principals and my son's teacher. They all called Hannah's mother back. Did I get a phone call? NOPE. I wrote a letter to the lead teacher for Special Education. I was firm and stated that she would change his IEP before the school year ends. She would have a solution. The only relief in all this is that she did call me back. She did change his IEP to take him out of the main classroom and into the Inclusion/Co- Teaching classroom. He will have a normal 3rd grade teacher and a special ed. teacher all day.

He came home upset over Hannah again Monday of this week. (Last week of school) I decided to keep him home the rest of the week to remove the stresses of seeing Hannah. The obsession needs to be under control. Out of sight, out of mind. The last 2 days he has not said anything about Hannah or other boys that talk to her. I took him to school to pick up his things. They refused to let me go back with him. Saying we would disrupt the class. Which I guess I can understand. But, it was their time for recess. They told me he could not say goodbye to his friends under the circumstances. I was not yelling. I never made a scene. Never said anything out of line. I did say that I felt they were not doing all they could to help in this final week of school. We would see them next year. The VP gave me a nasty look and walked away.

It was the first time I have really been so hurt and felt so betrayed by the school. I always felt they should have tested him earlier. He should not have been in SST for that long. They finally did the testing as he went into second grade. Done at my insistance. I came armed with ALL his medical records. He did qualify for special services for Autistic children. We have been supportive of their recommendations. But...... . My son coming home from a melt down like that, with a huge bruise on his face, was so shocking to me. Shouldn't they call to tell me my son was found in the cafeteria in a fetal position slapping himself? They acted as if it was nothing. I came to question the teachers the next day. The VP spoke with me. Again, they acted as if I was nuts. Like they could not understand what I was upset about. I'm more upset than I have ever been with the school. I have kept my mouth shut for 4 years. Been cooperative. Then they treat my family this way. Gave a ton of support to Hannah's family.....as well they should have. NO support for my son or myself. I am absolutely furious. I really wonder now if he is safe at school. Those bruises don't show up like they did by one or two slaps to the face. He had been hitting his face HARD for a while before anyone got to him.

For anyone who read through this.....thanks. Thanks for letting me vent. I just don't know what to do. Not sure if I am wrong and need to give them a break. Or, if I am right. They did not protect my son.

May 27, 2008

Thank you everyone.

Wallbank - Wittmayer

DOK Grace Chapter

"Prayer without work is empty words,service without prayer is labor lost."

Re: ( ) New Topic - In need of reassurance or advice

Just wanted to write and say you have been in my thoughts and prayers. It is so scary to me that this can happen to a child....

~

On May 23, 2008, at 6:49 PM, Wallbank wrote:

My son did well during the 2nd grade school year. He began to become obsessed with a little friend named Hannah. He would get angry when she spoke to other boys. He would get angry if she didn't say hello to him. The relationship became very black and white as the year progressed. Hannah has done her best to be a friend to my son. 2 weeks ago my son got into the car and the VP told me that he had bruises on his face. That he had hit himself because he couldn't sit next to Hannah. I asked why did they not call me immediately? She said the bruises did not appear until school was almost out. YET......they found my son in the cafeteria laying in a fetal position, violently slapping himself across the face. All the kids in the lunchroom were standing on chairs to see what was happening. Hannah believed my son was having a heart attack. It scared her so much. No one called to tell me this had happened. Not one call. My son had a bruise that took

up the whole left side of his face and a large area behind his ear. You better believe if he had come into school with bruises like that...they would have called DFACS. When I questioned them further, they acted as if it was nothing. Teachers were writing letters to Hannah's mother (who I am friends with), Hannah's teacher was calling her. Hannah's teacher was going to my son's teacher and talking. Hannah's mother was writing letters to both Principals and to teachers. I wrote letters to the Principals and my son's teacher. They all called Hannah's mother back. Did I get a phone call? NOPE. I wrote a letter to the lead teacher for Special Education. I was firm and stated that she would change his IEP before the school year ends. She would have a solution. The only relief in all this is that she did call me back. She did change his IEP to take him out of the main classroom and into the Inclusion/Co- Teaching classroom. He will have a

normal 3rd grade teacher and a special ed. teacher all day.

He came home upset over Hannah again Monday of this week. (Last week of school) I decided to keep him home the rest of the week to remove the stresses of seeing Hannah. The obsession needs to be under control. Out of sight, out of mind. The last 2 days he has not said anything about Hannah or other boys that talk to her. I took him to school to pick up his things. They refused to let me go back with him. Saying we would disrupt the class. Which I guess I can understand. But, it was their time for recess. They told me he could not say goodbye to his friends under the circumstances. I was not yelling. I never made a scene. Never said anything out of line. I did say that I felt they were not doing all they could to help in this final week of school. We would see them next year. The VP gave me a nasty look and walked away.

It was the first time I have really been so hurt and felt so betrayed by the school. I always felt they should have tested him earlier. He should not have been in SST for that long. They finally did the testing as he went into second grade. Done at my insistance. I came armed with ALL his medical records. He did qualify for special services for Autistic children. We have been supportive of their recommendations. But...... . My son coming home from a melt down like that, with a huge bruise on his face, was so shocking to me. Shouldn't they call to tell me my son was found in the cafeteria in a fetal position slapping himself? They acted as if it was nothing. I came to question the teachers the next day. The VP spoke with me. Again, they acted as if I was nuts. Like they could not understand what I was upset about. I'm more upset than I have ever been with the school. I have kept my mouth shut for 4 years. Been cooperative. Then they treat

my family this way. Gave a ton of support to Hannah's family.....as well they should have. NO support for my son or myself. I am absolutely furious. I really wonder now if he is safe at school. Those bruises don't show up like they did by one or two slaps to the face. He had been hitting his face HARD for a while before anyone got to him.

For anyone who read through this.....thanks. Thanks for letting me vent. I just don't know what to do. Not sure if I am wrong and need to give them a break. Or, if I am right. They did not protect my son.

May 28, 2008

Hi Ruth,

My son is on medication. He takes Vyvanse and Risperdal. He is going back to the Dr. again next week.

They absolutely should have called. This happened because his special ed. teacher was suppose to be with him in the cafeteria. She wasn't there. Apparently there was a change in schedule that day. I don't care if the schedule changed. She should have been there. I have called DHR and DFACS. Both have agreed to do an investigation. Every single year something has happened with this school. We are suppose to be in a great county. It stinks! We can't afford private school. So, I don't know what we are going to do. I am at a total and complete loss.

Wallbank - Wittmayer

DOK Grace Chapter

"Prayer without work is empty words,service without prayer is labor lost."

Re: ( ) New Topic - In need of reassurance or advice

,

Can you call CPS (Child Protective Services) or whatever they call it in your state? This sounds like child abuse to me. When I was teaching, this would be something that I would have been required to report. I would report the school. It works both ways. Did you photograph the bruises? I hope he feels better soon.

Best wishes,

Liz

On May 23, 2008, at 6:49 PM, Wallbank wrote:

My son did well during the 2nd grade school year. He began to become obsessed with a little friend named Hannah. He would get angry when she spoke to other boys. He would get angry if she didn't say hello to him. The relationship became very black and white as the year progressed. Hannah has done her best to be a friend to my son. 2 weeks ago my son got into the car and the VP told me that he had bruises on his face. That he had hit himself because he couldn't sit next to Hannah. I asked why did they not call me immediately? She said the bruises did not appear until school was almost out. YET......they found my son in the cafeteria laying in a fetal position, violently slapping himself across the face. All the kids in the lunchroom were standing on chairs to see what was happening. Hannah believed my son was having a heart attack. It scared her so much. No one called to tell me this had happened. Not one call. My son had a bruise that took

up the whole left side of his face and a large area behind his ear. You better believe if he had come into school with bruises like that...they would have called DFACS. When I questioned them further, they acted as if it was nothing. Teachers were writing letters to Hannah's mother (who I am friends with), Hannah's teacher was calling her. Hannah's teacher was going to my son's teacher and talking. Hannah's mother was writing letters to both Principals and to teachers. I wrote letters to the Principals and my son's teacher. They all called Hannah's mother back. Did I get a phone call? NOPE. I wrote a letter to the lead teacher for Special Education. I was firm and stated that she would change his IEP before the school year ends. She would have a solution. The only relief in all this is that she did call me back. She did change his IEP to take him out of the main classroom and into the Inclusion/Co- Teaching classroom. He will have a

normal 3rd grade teacher and a special ed. teacher all day.

He came home upset over Hannah again Monday of this week. (Last week of school) I decided to keep him home the rest of the week to remove the stresses of seeing Hannah. The obsession needs to be under control. Out of sight, out of mind. The last 2 days he has not said anything about Hannah or other boys that talk to her. I took him to school to pick up his things. They refused to let me go back with him. Saying we would disrupt the class. Which I guess I can understand. But, it was their time for recess. They told me he could not say goodbye to his friends under the circumstances. I was not yelling. I never made a scene. Never said anything out of line. I did say that I felt they were not doing all they could to help in this final week of school. We would see them next year. The VP gave me a nasty look and walked away.

It was the first time I have really been so hurt and felt so betrayed by the school. I always felt they should have tested him earlier. He should not have been in SST for that long. They finally did the testing as he went into second grade. Done at my insistance. I came armed with ALL his medical records. He did qualify for special services for Autistic children. We have been supportive of their recommendations. But...... . My son coming home from a melt down like that, with a huge bruise on his face, was so shocking to me. Shouldn't they call to tell me my son was found in the cafeteria in a fetal position slapping himself? They acted as if it was nothing. I came to question the teachers the next day. The VP spoke with me. Again, they acted as if I was nuts. Like they could not understand what I was upset about. I'm more upset than I have ever been with the school. I have kept my mouth shut for 4 years. Been cooperative. Then they treat

my family this way. Gave a ton of support to Hannah's family.....as well they should have. NO support for my son or myself. I am absolutely furious. I really wonder now if he is safe at school. Those bruises don't show up like they did by one or two slaps to the face. He had been hitting his face HARD for a while before anyone got to him.

For anyone who read through this.....thanks. Thanks for letting me vent. I just don't know what to do. Not sure if I am wrong and need to give them a break. Or, if I am right. They did not protect my son.

May 28, 2008

Well, can you home school your child? That is what we are doing with our 8th grader (well, just about to finish now)..........started this year, wish we started sooner. We packed up and moved to our school district 'cuz we were told how amazing, etc., and packed up and moved to a different house, closer to our home schooling assistance program this year, after having to pull him. We have learned to have very open minds, and do the right thing at the right times; not what we may WANT or think is cheaper, what we can afford, but what we have to do. As for private school, that is NOT in our budget either; home schooling works awesome; sometimes I wish I were doing it with all my kids but one is great, too; he NEEDS to have it this way. That IS always an option; like I have typed about church, what it looks like; we have learned to let it look like what it has to; school does NOT have to look like 8 hours a day, in a huge building, with lots of kids, all different ages and needs, or five days a week. It may be 2 hours a day, all subjects condensed into one daily lesson (putting social studies, science, math, reading, language arts, perhaps some foreign language or a few new words, along with art, living skills, etc. all into ONE thing---or two or three) but it does not have to look like school; HERE I AM PREACHING THAT WHICH I COULD NOT LET MYSELF DO 10 months ago--------so, it IS possible; I know, 'cuz I HAVE ALTERED MY THINKING AND IT HAS BEEN GREAT. Now, I keep hearing all this stuff of more public school junk and am starting to think we need to go back to little old schoolhouse days; this is getting ridiculous; public schools are a mess, and perhaps we all need to start home schooling, or community schooling rather than this; it is getting NUTS. If more parents PARENTED think of the difference in our worlds.

I do agree that this is a huge school failure, and I would be very alarmed, too. Keep us posted!!

Ruthie

From: w_wittmayer@...Date: Wed, 28 May 2008 13:37:46 -0700Subject: Re: ( ) New Topic - In need of reassurance or advice

Hi Ruth,

My son is on medication. He takes Vyvanse and Risperdal. He is going back to the Dr. again next week.

They absolutely should have called. This happened because his special ed. teacher was suppose to be with him in the cafeteria. She wasn't there. Apparently there was a change in schedule that day. I don't care if the schedule changed. She should have been there. I have called DHR and DFACS. Both have agreed to do an investigation. Every single year something has happened with this school. We are suppose to be in a great county. It stinks! We can't afford private school. So, I don't know what we are going to do. I am at a total and complete loss.

Wallbank - Wittmayer

DOK Grace Chapter

"Prayer without work is empty words,service without prayer is labor lost."

Re: ( ) New Topic - In need of reassurance or advice

,

Can you call CPS (Child Protective Services) or whatever they call it in your state? This sounds like child abuse to me. When I was teaching, this would be something that I would have been required to report. I would report the school. It works both ways. Did you photograph the bruises? I hope he feels better soon.

Best wishes,

Liz

On May 23, 2008, at 6:49 PM, Wallbank wrote:

My son did well during the 2nd grade school year. He began to become obsessed with a little friend named Hannah. He would get angry when she spoke to other boys. He would get angry if she didn't say hello to him. The relationship became very black and white as the year progressed. Hannah has done her best to be a friend to my son. 2 weeks ago my son got into the car and the VP told me that he had bruises on his face. That he had hit himself because he couldn't sit next to Hannah. I asked why did they not call me immediately? She said the bruises did not appear until school was almost out. YET......they found my son in the cafeteria laying in a fetal position, violently slapping himself across the face. All the kids in the lunchroom were standing on chairs to see what was happening. Hannah believed my son was having a heart attack. It scared her so much. No one called to tell me this had happened. Not one call. My son had a bruise that took up the whole left side of his face and a large area behind his ear. You better believe if he had come into school with bruises like that...they would have called DFACS. When I questioned them further, they acted as if it was nothing. Teachers were writing letters to Hannah's mother (who I am friends with), Hannah's teacher was calling her. Hannah's teacher was going to my son's teacher and talking. Hannah's mother was writing letters to both Principals and to teachers. I wrote letters to the Principals and my son's teacher. They all called Hannah's mother back. Did I get a phone call? NOPE. I wrote a letter to the lead teacher for Special Education. I was firm and stated that she would change his IEP before the school year ends. She would have a solution. The only relief in all this is that she did call me back. She did change his IEP to take him out of the main classroom and into the Inclusion/Co- Teaching classroom. He will have a normal 3rd grade teacher and a special ed. teacher all day.

He came home upset over Hannah again Monday of this week. (Last week of school) I decided to keep him home the rest of the week to remove the stresses of seeing Hannah. The obsession needs to be under control. Out of sight, out of mind. The last 2 days he has not said anything about Hannah or other boys that talk to her. I took him to school to pick up his things. They refused to let me go back with him. Saying we would disrupt the class. Which I guess I can understand. But, it was their time for recess. They told me he could not say goodbye to his friends under the circumstances. I was not yelling. I never made a scene. Never said anything out of line. I did say that I felt they were not doing all they could to help in this final week of school. We would see them next year. The VP gave me a nasty look and walked away.

It was the first time I have really been so hurt and felt so betrayed by the school. I always felt they should have tested him earlier. He should not have been in SST for that long. They finally did the testing as he went into second grade. Done at my insistance. I came armed with ALL his medical records. He did qualify for special services for Autistic children. We have been supportive of their recommendations. But...... . My son coming home from a melt down like that, with a huge bruise on his face, was so shocking to me. Shouldn't they call to tell me my son was found in the cafeteria in a fetal position slapping himself? They acted as if it was nothing. I came to question the teachers the next day. The VP spoke with me. Again, they acted as if I was nuts. Like they could not understand what I was upset about. I'm more upset than I have ever been with the school. I have kept my mouth shut for 4 years. Been cooperative. Then they treat my family this way. Gave a ton of support to Hannah's family.....as well they should have. NO support for my son or myself. I am absolutely furious. I really wonder now if he is safe at school. Those bruises don't show up like they did by one or two slaps to the face. He had been hitting his face HARD for a while before anyone got to him.

For anyone who read through this.....thanks. Thanks for letting me vent. I just don't know what to do. Not sure if I am wrong and need to give them a break. Or, if I am right. They did not protect my son.

May 28, 2008

What you are going to do is:

1. Go to the nearest book store (or library) but you want a 2008 nursing prescription handbook.

2. Look in that, check these meds and go without the child IF YOU CAN-------we get a sitter when we go---my husband and I.

3. Write down all the symptoms listed: then, mark each one, with an honest, open mind, that you are seeing with your child.

4. Our son often has an interaction between two of them NOT going together for HIM, so I would suggest that.

5. It is obvious THESE meds are NOT working for him, so I would continue looking and considering different medications.

6. I would see a different doctor regarding that, if you feel the meds are WRONG for him.

7. I would get a very good therapist PLAY THERAPIST if under about age 10, therapist if over; preferably one that specializes / has lots of experience with AS / Autism / etc. type children.

8. Get yourself a therapist and / or a family therapist and / or a couple therapist for spouse and you (if married) and GO at least bi-weekly.

9. MAKE it part of the budget to DATE (husband if married, friend, or self!!! but get out and get a break!!!!).

10. Get an evaluation for occupational therapy and ask specifically for 1. speech and language assessment to especially address pragmatic speech (even if you think there is NO issue with speech---this is amazing---our sons both excelled and are better with this than we knew and /or expected but this is important!!!) 2. sensory evaluation, as you feel your son may have aspergers or another spectrum disorder and would like an evaluation.

11. DO WHATEVER IS DISCOVERED in 10. Our eldest son had a vision issue and required assessment through the developmental eye specialist (that is separate from your local optometrist / eye doctor---MORE EDUCATION)----he had vision therapy---never even knew he HAD a problem; my youngest AS is in glasses with prisms that help him (he does not need any form of VT at this time).

12. Call your friends, family, type on here, and keep yourself sane through all the insane!!!

13. WRITE, WRITE, WRITE, and document: every person you talk to on the phone, dates, and times (photos are never a bad idea); type a letter or email summarizing any and all conversations with the school, ccing them to everyone at school, your mom, whatever, but keep numerous copies out there; file a copy of each and every one you write, preferably in a binder and in order (do as you go, it is easier). Document what you are learning, what is said, etc.

14. Go to the library and read about IEP / 504's etc., and get up to speed on that. Swirl and swim in all the knowledge; it may be overwhelming but your child deserves it; you will be greatful later, and shocked at how illegally we are being treated

MOST IMPORTANTLY: know you are not even close to alone or the first to be crumbed on by school, nor is your child. There is worse out there. It is a sick world we live in, and schools seem to be deteriorating rapidly. My close friend here is a teacher, and she is on these two cases, too; we have all been writing letters to advocate for the mom in Florida, etc.; she too as a current junior high teacher; she is livid that teachers like HER and your situation put 'faces' on teachers like they do, making it harder for wonderful people and teachers like her to do their jobs and be trusted, etc. IT STINKS, but something HAS to get done; do not give up, do not stop fighting, and keep being CALM, COOL, COLLECTED, and squeak, squeak, squeak; everyone at school will only hate you because you are doing the right thing, and you are public, making a scene, bringing light to a problem; they HATE that but it is the RIGHT THING TO DO!!!!

Ruthie Dolezal

From: w_wittmayer@...Date: Wed, 28 May 2008 13:37:46 -0700Subject: Re: ( ) New Topic - In need of reassurance or advice

Hi Ruth,

My son is on medication. He takes Vyvanse and Risperdal. He is going back to the Dr. again next week.

They absolutely should have called. This happened because his special ed. teacher was suppose to be with him in the cafeteria. She wasn't there. Apparently there was a change in schedule that day. I don't care if the schedule changed. She should have been there. I have called DHR and DFACS. Both have agreed to do an investigation. Every single year something has happened with this school. We are suppose to be in a great county. It stinks! We can't afford private school. So, I don't know what we are going to do. I am at a total and complete loss.

Wallbank - Wittmayer

DOK Grace Chapter

"Prayer without work is empty words,service without prayer is labor lost."

Re: ( ) New Topic - In need of reassurance or advice

,

Can you call CPS (Child Protective Services) or whatever they call it in your state? This sounds like child abuse to me. When I was teaching, this would be something that I would have been required to report. I would report the school. It works both ways. Did you photograph the bruises? I hope he feels better soon.

Best wishes,

Liz

On May 23, 2008, at 6:49 PM, Wallbank wrote:

My son did well during the 2nd grade school year. He began to become obsessed with a little friend named Hannah. He would get angry when she spoke to other boys. He would get angry if she didn't say hello to him. The relationship became very black and white as the year progressed. Hannah has done her best to be a friend to my son. 2 weeks ago my son got into the car and the VP told me that he had bruises on his face. That he had hit himself because he couldn't sit next to Hannah. I asked why did they not call me immediately? She said the bruises did not appear until school was almost out. YET......they found my son in the cafeteria laying in a fetal position, violently slapping himself across the face. All the kids in the lunchroom were standing on chairs to see what was happening. Hannah believed my son was having a heart attack. It scared her so much. No one called to tell me this had happened. Not one call. My son had a bruise that took up the whole left side of his face and a large area behind his ear. You better believe if he had come into school with bruises like that...they would have called DFACS. When I questioned them further, they acted as if it was nothing. Teachers were writing letters to Hannah's mother (who I am friends with), Hannah's teacher was calling her. Hannah's teacher was going to my son's teacher and talking. Hannah's mother was writing letters to both Principals and to teachers. I wrote letters to the Principals and my son's teacher. They all called Hannah's mother back. Did I get a phone call? NOPE. I wrote a letter to the lead teacher for Special Education. I was firm and stated that she would change his IEP before the school year ends. She would have a solution. The only relief in all this is that she did call me back. She did change his IEP to take him out of the main classroom and into the Inclusion/Co- Teaching classroom. He will have a normal 3rd grade teacher and a special ed. teacher all day.

He came home upset over Hannah again Monday of this week. (Last week of school) I decided to keep him home the rest of the week to remove the stresses of seeing Hannah. The obsession needs to be under control. Out of sight, out of mind. The last 2 days he has not said anything about Hannah or other boys that talk to her. I took him to school to pick up his things. They refused to let me go back with him. Saying we would disrupt the class. Which I guess I can understand. But, it was their time for recess. They told me he could not say goodbye to his friends under the circumstances. I was not yelling. I never made a scene. Never said anything out of line. I did say that I felt they were not doing all they could to help in this final week of school. We would see them next year. The VP gave me a nasty look and walked away.

It was the first time I have really been so hurt and felt so betrayed by the school. I always felt they should have tested him earlier. He should not have been in SST for that long. They finally did the testing as he went into second grade. Done at my insistance. I came armed with ALL his medical records. He did qualify for special services for Autistic children. We have been supportive of their recommendations. But...... . My son coming home from a melt down like that, with a huge bruise on his face, was so shocking to me. Shouldn't they call to tell me my son was found in the cafeteria in a fetal position slapping himself? They acted as if it was nothing. I came to question the teachers the next day. The VP spoke with me. Again, they acted as if I was nuts. Like they could not understand what I was upset about. I'm more upset than I have ever been with the school. I have kept my mouth shut for 4 years. Been cooperative. Then they treat my family this way. Gave a ton of support to Hannah's family.....as well they should have. NO support for my son or myself. I am absolutely furious. I really wonder now if he is safe at school. Those bruises don't show up like they did by one or two slaps to the face. He had been hitting his face HARD for a while before anyone got to him.

For anyone who read through this.....thanks. Thanks for letting me vent. I just don't know what to do. Not sure if I am wrong and need to give them a break. Or, if I am right. They did not protect my son.

May 28, 2008

Thanks Ruthie,

My only concern with homeschooling him is that he is an only child. He really needs the social interaction. He also needs to learn how to survive in a community. I shelter him so much already. I'm scared to do anything more to isolate him. If he had siblings.....I may feel different. Then again.......all the kids who saw his melt down in the lunchroom may isolate him at school. It's a no win thing.

Wallbank - Wittmayer

DOK Grace Chapter

"Prayer without work is empty words,service without prayer is labor lost."

Re: ( ) New Topic - In need of reassurance or advice

,

Can you call CPS (Child Protective Services) or whatever they call it in your state? This sounds like child abuse to me. When I was teaching, this would be something that I would have been required to report. I would report the school. It works both ways. Did you photograph the bruises? I hope he feels better soon.

Best wishes,

Liz

On May 23, 2008, at 6:49 PM, Wallbank wrote:

My son did well during the 2nd grade school year. He began to become obsessed with a little friend named Hannah. He would get angry when she spoke to other boys. He would get angry if she didn't say hello to him. The relationship became very black and white as the year progressed. Hannah has done her best to be a friend to my son. 2 weeks ago my son got into the car and the VP told me that he had bruises on his face. That he had hit himself because he couldn't sit next to Hannah. I asked why did they not call me immediately? She said the bruises did not appear until school was almost out. YET......they found my son in the cafeteria laying in a fetal position, violently slapping himself across the face. All the kids in the lunchroom were standing on chairs to see what was happening. Hannah believed my son was having a heart attack. It scared her so much. No one called to tell me this had happened. Not one call. My son had a bruise that took

up the whole left side of his face and a large area behind his ear. You better believe if he had come into school with bruises like that...they would have called DFACS. When I questioned them further, they acted as if it was nothing. Teachers were writing letters to Hannah's mother (who I am friends with), Hannah's teacher was calling her. Hannah's teacher was going to my son's teacher and talking. Hannah's mother was writing letters to both Principals and to teachers. I wrote letters to the Principals and my son's teacher. They all called Hannah's mother back. Did I get a phone call? NOPE. I wrote a letter to the lead teacher for Special Education. I was firm and stated that she would change his IEP before the school year ends. She would have a solution. The only relief in all this is that she did call me back. She did change his IEP to take him out of the main classroom and into the Inclusion/Co- Teaching classroom. He will have a

normal 3rd grade teacher and a special ed. teacher all day.

He came home upset over Hannah again Monday of this week. (Last week of school) I decided to keep him home the rest of the week to remove the stresses of seeing Hannah. The obsession needs to be under control. Out of sight, out of mind. The last 2 days he has not said anything about Hannah or other boys that talk to her. I took him to school to pick up his things. They refused to let me go back with him. Saying we would disrupt the class. Which I guess I can understand. But, it was their time for recess. They told me he could not say goodbye to his friends under the circumstances. I was not yelling. I never made a scene. Never said anything out of line. I did say that I felt they were not doing all they could to help in this final week of school. We would see them next year. The VP gave me a nasty look and walked away.

It was the first time I have really been so hurt and felt so betrayed by the school. I always felt they should have tested him earlier. He should not have been in SST for that long. They finally did the testing as he went into second grade. Done at my insistance. I came armed with ALL his medical records. He did qualify for special services for Autistic children. We have been supportive of their recommendations. But...... . My son coming home from a melt down like that, with a huge bruise on his face, was so shocking to me. Shouldn't they call to tell me my son was found in the cafeteria in a fetal position slapping himself? They acted as if it was nothing. I came to question the teachers the next day. The VP spoke with me. Again, they acted as if I was nuts. Like they could not understand what I was upset about. I'm more upset than I have ever been with the school. I have kept my mouth shut for 4 years. Been cooperative. Then they treat

my family this way. Gave a ton of support to Hannah's family.....as well they should have. NO support for my son or myself. I am absolutely furious. I really wonder now if he is safe at school. Those bruises don't show up like they did by one or two slaps to the face. He had been hitting his face HARD for a while before anyone got to him.

For anyone who read through this.....thanks. Thanks for letting me vent. I just don't know what to do. Not sure if I am wrong and need to give them a break. Or, if I am right. They did not protect my son.

May 28, 2008

Thank you so much Ruthie. Great advice.

is in individual OT and he is in group OT. He has had several OT evals. He does see a pediatric psychiatrist and an autism specialist. He has been to floortime therapy. Everyone has said he doesn't need speech other than pragmatics. His hearing and sight have been tested. We do need to take him to see a Neurologist. We also need to find a really good socialization group. I had him in socialization therapy for a while and it wasn't specific for AS. I am meeting with a social worker from Children's Healthcare. His father takes him out to places and spends time with him. But, I am raising this child pretty much on my own. My husband is clueless. He does not deal with the schools, IEP's, Dr.'s....he is a playmate. My husband is no source of support. So, I really need the social worker to help me with local social groups, possible school changes or homeschooling options, support of some kind. I'll know more after seeing her. He also sees the autism

Dr. this month and the ped. Psychiatrist. I also found a Autism advocate. She has to return my call. I have heard great things about her though.

Wallbank - Wittmayer

DOK Grace Chapter

"Prayer without work is empty words,service without prayer is labor lost."

Re: ( ) New Topic - In need of reassurance or advice

,

Can you call CPS (Child Protective Services) or whatever they call it in your state? This sounds like child abuse to me. When I was teaching, this would be something that I would have been required to report. I would report the school. It works both ways. Did you photograph the bruises? I hope he feels better soon.

Best wishes,

Liz

On May 23, 2008, at 6:49 PM, Wallbank wrote:

My son did well during the 2nd grade school year. He began to become obsessed with a little friend named Hannah. He would get angry when she spoke to other boys. He would get angry if she didn't say hello to him. The relationship became very black and white as the year progressed. Hannah has done her best to be a friend to my son. 2 weeks ago my son got into the car and the VP told me that he had bruises on his face. That he had hit himself because he couldn't sit next to Hannah. I asked why did they not call me immediately? She said the bruises did not appear until school was almost out. YET......they found my son in the cafeteria laying in a fetal position, violently slapping himself across the face. All the kids in the lunchroom were standing on chairs to see what was happening. Hannah believed my son was having a heart attack. It scared her so much. No one called to tell me this had happened. Not one call. My son had a bruise that took

up the whole left side of his face and a large area behind his ear. You better believe if he had come into school with bruises like that...they would have called DFACS. When I questioned them further, they acted as if it was nothing. Teachers were writing letters to Hannah's mother (who I am friends with), Hannah's teacher was calling her. Hannah's teacher was going to my son's teacher and talking. Hannah's mother was writing letters to both Principals and to teachers. I wrote letters to the Principals and my son's teacher. They all called Hannah's mother back. Did I get a phone call? NOPE. I wrote a letter to the lead teacher for Special Education. I was firm and stated that she would change his IEP before the school year ends. She would have a solution. The only relief in all this is that she did call me back. She did change his IEP to take him out of the main classroom and into the Inclusion/Co- Teaching classroom. He will have a

normal 3rd grade teacher and a special ed. teacher all day.

He came home upset over Hannah again Monday of this week. (Last week of school) I decided to keep him home the rest of the week to remove the stresses of seeing Hannah. The obsession needs to be under control. Out of sight, out of mind. The last 2 days he has not said anything about Hannah or other boys that talk to her. I took him to school to pick up his things. They refused to let me go back with him. Saying we would disrupt the class. Which I guess I can understand. But, it was their time for recess. They told me he could not say goodbye to his friends under the circumstances. I was not yelling. I never made a scene. Never said anything out of line. I did say that I felt they were not doing all they could to help in this final week of school. We would see them next year. The VP gave me a nasty look and walked away.

It was the first time I have really been so hurt and felt so betrayed by the school. I always felt they should have tested him earlier. He should not have been in SST for that long. They finally did the testing as he went into second grade. Done at my insistance. I came armed with ALL his medical records. He did qualify for special services for Autistic children. We have been supportive of their recommendations. But...... . My son coming home from a melt down like that, with a huge bruise on his face, was so shocking to me. Shouldn't they call to tell me my son was found in the cafeteria in a fetal position slapping himself? They acted as if it was nothing. I came to question the teachers the next day. The VP spoke with me. Again, they acted as if I was nuts. Like they could not understand what I was upset about. I'm more upset than I have ever been with the school. I have kept my mouth shut for 4 years. Been cooperative. Then they treat

my family this way. Gave a ton of support to Hannah's family.....as well they should have. NO support for my son or myself. I am absolutely furious. I really wonder now if he is safe at school. Those bruises don't show up like they did by one or two slaps to the face. He had been hitting his face HARD for a while before anyone got to him.

For anyone who read through this.....thanks. Thanks for letting me vent. I just don't know what to do. Not sure if I am wrong and need to give them a break. Or, if I am right. They did not protect my son.

May 28, 2008

, just FYI, homeschooling myth is socialization.............that is the biggest one. My son has a bigger social life and some adults that are great friends now (not kids his age but at 14 1/2 years of age, do you want them to have too many friends his age???---lol)--------he played on a basketball team and got along great, and he also plays baseball; ironically, his name is ANDREW, too. He IS in an AS support group, and he is actually living in shelter right now (two weeks today actually) due to his behaviors; he has gotten out of control again, so we have had to CINA him (use the system to get him in to treatment again)----we are waiting for a placement for him to open up. ANyway, what a mess!!! He IS still better off home schooling though, so do not only child and socialization change your mind AT ALL!!!! Our kids hate the chaos (more than a few people IS chaos to them) of the school let alone the long laundry list of other things there (only do one thing at a time, lights, lunch, noise, distractions, etc., etc., etc.,.........not to mention all the teasing, bullying, etc. that goes on endlessly!!). Just go for it. If I can do it, anyone can------my is NOT home schoolable----------boy, have EVEN I BEEN SHOCKED!!!! He is reading and do things he never would in public school, and he wants to learn now----that is worth it all!!!! Of course, I got more motivated to work with my other two at home, too, so my five year old is ready for first grade, perhaps second but headed to kindergarten in the fall (he is N.T. but that has NOTHING to do with it----he wanted to learn while I worked with , so Caidan got 'learned' too!!!---HA HA----He is on a three week vacation with my parents and reading books to them; they are impressed (so that is exciting----I finally did something GOOD!!!! lol). Ruthie

From: w_wittmayer@...Date: Wed, 28 May 2008 17:02:20 -0700Subject: Re: ( ) New Topic - In need of reassurance or advice

Thank you so much Ruthie. Great advice.

is in individual OT and he is in group OT. He has had several OT evals. He does see a pediatric psychiatrist and an autism specialist. He has been to floortime therapy. Everyone has said he doesn't need speech other than pragmatics. His hearing and sight have been tested. We do need to take him to see a Neurologist. We also need to find a really good socialization group. I had him in socialization therapy for a while and it wasn't specific for AS. I am meeting with a social worker from Children's Healthcare. His father takes him out to places and spends time with him. But, I am raising this child pretty much on my own. My husband is clueless. He does not deal with the schools, IEP's, Dr.'s....he is a playmate. My husband is no source of support. So, I really need the social worker to help me with local social groups, possible school changes or homeschooling options, support of some kind. I'll know more after seeing her. He also sees the autism Dr. this month and the ped. Psychiatrist. I also found a Autism advocate. She has to return my call. I have heard great things about her though.

Wallbank - Wittmayer

DOK Grace Chapter

"Prayer without work is empty words,service without prayer is labor lost."

Re: ( ) New Topic - In need of reassurance or advice

,

Can you call CPS (Child Protective Services) or whatever they call it in your state? This sounds like child abuse to me. When I was teaching, this would be something that I would have been required to report. I would report the school. It works both ways. Did you photograph the bruises? I hope he feels better soon.

Best wishes,

Liz

On May 23, 2008, at 6:49 PM, Wallbank wrote:

My son did well during the 2nd grade school year. He began to become obsessed with a little friend named Hannah. He would get angry when she spoke to other boys. He would get angry if she didn't say hello to him. The relationship became very black and white as the year progressed. Hannah has done her best to be a friend to my son. 2 weeks ago my son got into the car and the VP told me that he had bruises on his face. That he had hit himself because he couldn't sit next to Hannah. I asked why did they not call me immediately? She said the bruises did not appear until school was almost out. YET......they found my son in the cafeteria laying in a fetal position, violently slapping himself across the face. All the kids in the lunchroom were standing on chairs to see what was happening. Hannah believed my son was having a heart attack. It scared her so much. No one called to tell me this had happened. Not one call. My son had a bruise that took up the whole left side of his face and a large area behind his ear. You better believe if he had come into school with bruises like that...they would have called DFACS. When I questioned them further, they acted as if it was nothing. Teachers were writing letters to Hannah's mother (who I am friends with), Hannah's teacher was calling her. Hannah's teacher was going to my son's teacher and talking. Hannah's mother was writing letters to both Principals and to teachers. I wrote letters to the Principals and my son's teacher. They all called Hannah's mother back. Did I get a phone call? NOPE. I wrote a letter to the lead teacher for Special Education. I was firm and stated that she would change his IEP before the school year ends. She would have a solution. The only relief in all this is that she did call me back. She did change his IEP to take him out of the main classroom and into the Inclusion/Co- Teaching classroom. He will have a normal 3rd grade teacher and a special ed. teacher all day.

He came home upset over Hannah again Monday of this week. (Last week of school) I decided to keep him home the rest of the week to remove the stresses of seeing Hannah. The obsession needs to be under control. Out of sight, out of mind. The last 2 days he has not said anything about Hannah or other boys that talk to her. I took him to school to pick up his things. They refused to let me go back with him. Saying we would disrupt the class. Which I guess I can understand. But, it was their time for recess. They told me he could not say goodbye to his friends under the circumstances. I was not yelling. I never made a scene. Never said anything out of line. I did say that I felt they were not doing all they could to help in this final week of school. We would see them next year. The VP gave me a nasty look and walked away.

It was the first time I have really been so hurt and felt so betrayed by the school. I always felt they should have tested him earlier. He should not have been in SST for that long. They finally did the testing as he went into second grade. Done at my insistance. I came armed with ALL his medical records. He did qualify for special services for Autistic children. We have been supportive of their recommendations. But...... . My son coming home from a melt down like that, with a huge bruise on his face, was so shocking to me. Shouldn't they call to tell me my son was found in the cafeteria in a fetal position slapping himself? They acted as if it was nothing. I came to question the teachers the next day. The VP spoke with me. Again, they acted as if I was nuts. Like they could not understand what I was upset about. I'm more upset than I have ever been with the school. I have kept my mouth shut for 4 years. Been cooperative. Then they treat my family this way. Gave a ton of support to Hannah's family.....as well they should have. NO support for my son or myself. I am absolutely furious. I really wonder now if he is safe at school. Those bruises don't show up like they did by one or two slaps to the face. He had been hitting his face HARD for a while before anyone got to him.

For anyone who read through this.....thanks. Thanks for letting me vent. I just don't know what to do. Not sure if I am wrong and need to give them a break. Or, if I am right. They did not protect my son.

May 28, 2008

Instead of traipsing all the way to the library, you can click your way to this website:http://www.drugs.com/drug_information.htmlGo to the "professional" pages if you want detailed information.LizOn May 28, 2008, at 6:28 PM, BRYAN DOLEZAL wrote:What you are going to do is:1. Go to the nearest book store (or library) but you want a 2008 nursing prescription handbook.2. Look in that, check these meds and go without the child IF YOU CAN-------we get a sitter when we go---my husband and I.3. Write down all the symptoms listed: then, mark each one, with an honest, open mind, that you are seeing with your child.4. Our son often has an interaction between two of them NOT going together for HIM, so I would suggest that.5. It is obvious THESE meds are NOT working for him, so I would continue looking and considering different medications.

May 28, 2008

,

I have 2 sisters-in-law who homeschool and they are both on opposite

coasts, but are very active in homeschool groups or associations where

they go on regular field trips. I know these groups are all over the

country with the surge in families who homeschool. They also go to

gymnastics, swim team, dance or karate--something like PE but not a

team sport. They are both very active in their churches so there is

socialization with the kids from that. None of their kids have

diagnoses, but I do suspect that the 3 oldest probably have

something--ADHD or an ASD. The dad of the 3 oldest is such an

undiagnosed Aspie, and we know it runs in families. Anyway, just

letting you know there are hopes for social outlets with

homeschooling. If school doesn't go well, it's in the back of my

mind. Of course, we'd have to move to an affordable state, not CA!!!

>

> My son did well during the 2nd grade school year. He began to become

obsessed with a little friend named Hannah. He would get angry when

she spoke to other boys. He would get angry if she didn't say hello to

him. The relationship became very black and white as the year

progressed. Hannah has done her best to be a friend to my son. 2 weeks

ago my son got into the car and the VP told me that he had bruises on

his face. That he had hit himself because he couldn't sit next to

Hannah. I asked why did they not call me immediately? She said the

bruises did not appear until school was almost out. YET......they

found my son in the cafeteria laying in a fetal position, violently

slapping himself across the face. All the kids in the lunchroom were

standing on chairs to see what was happening. Hannah believed my son

was having a heart attack. It scared her so much. No one called to

tell me this had happened. Not one call. My son had a bruise that took

up the whole

> left side of his face and a large area behind his ear. You better

believe if he had come into school with bruises like that...they would

have called DFACS. When I questioned them further, they acted as if it

was nothing. Teachers were writing letters to Hannah's mother (who I

am friends with), Hannah's teacher was calling her. Hannah's

teacher was going to my son's teacher and talking. Hannah's mother was

writing letters to both Principals and to teachers. I wrote letters to

the Principals and my son's teacher. They all called Hannah's mother

back. Did I get a phone call? NOPE. I wrote a letter to the lead

teacher for Special Education. I was firm and stated that she would

change his IEP before the school year ends. She would have a solution.

The only relief in all this is that she did call me back. She did

change his IEP to take him out of the main classroom and into the

Inclusion/Co- Teaching classroom. He will have a normal 3rd grade

teacher and

> a special ed. teacher all day.

>

> He came home upset over Hannah again Monday of this week. (Last week

of school) I decided to keep him home the rest of the week to remove

the stresses of seeing Hannah. The obsession needs to be under

control. Out of sight, out of mind. The last 2 days he has not said

anything about Hannah or other boys that talk to her. I took him to

school to pick up his things. They refused to let me go back with him.

Saying we would disrupt the class. Which I guess I can understand.

But, it was their time for recess. They told me he could not say

goodbye to his friends under the circumstances. I was not yelling. I

never made a scene. Never said anything out of line. I did say that I

felt they were not doing all they could to help in this final

week of school. We would see them next year. The VP gave me a nasty

look and walked away.

>

> It was the first time I have really been so hurt and felt so

betrayed by the school. I always felt they should have tested him

earlier. He should not have been in SST for that long. They finally

did the testing as he went into second grade. Done at my insistance.

I came armed with ALL his medical records. He did qualify for special

services for Autistic children. We have been supportive of their

recommendations. But...... . My son coming home from a melt down like

that, with a huge bruise on his face, was so shocking to me. Shouldn't

they call to tell me my son was found in the cafeteria in a fetal

position slapping himself? They acted as if it was nothing. I came to

question the teachers the next day. The VP spoke with me. Again, they

acted as if I was nuts. Like they could not understand what I was

upset about. I'm more upset than I have ever been with the school. I

have kept my mouth shut for 4 years. Been cooperative. Then they treat

my family

> this way. Gave a ton of support to Hannah's family.....as well they

should have. NO support for my son or myself. I am absolutely furious.

I really wonder now if he is safe at school. Those bruises don't show

up like they did by one or two slaps to the face. He had been hitting

his face HARD for a while before anyone got to him.

>

> For anyone who read through this.....thanks. Thanks for letting me

vent. I just don't know what to do. Not sure if I am wrong and need to

give them a break. Or, if I am right. They did not protect my son.

>

May 29, 2008

Thank ,

Honestly, I am so scared I will do something to cause him to regress. It's just a fear. Making changes in his life is a scary thing. HOWEVER..........what happened at his school scares me more. Ruth has convinced me to at least take a look into Ga. homeschooling. I need to talk with a social worker for autism and an advocate locally.

Wallbank - Wittmayer

DOK Grace Chapter

"Prayer without work is empty words,service without prayer is labor lost."

Re: ( ) New Topic - In need of reassurance or advice

,I have 2 sisters-in-law who homeschool and they are both on oppositecoasts, but are very active in homeschool groups or associations wherethey go on regular field trips. I know these groups are all over thecountry with the surge in families who homeschool. They also go togymnastics, swim team, dance or karate--something like PE but not ateam sport. They are both very active in their churches so there issocialization with the kids from that. None of their kids havediagnoses, but I do suspect that the 3 oldest probably havesomething--ADHD or an ASD. The dad of the 3 oldest is such anundiagnosed Aspie, and we know it runs in families. Anyway, justletting you know there are hopes for social outlets withhomeschooling. If school doesn't go well, it's in the back of mymind. Of course, we'd have to move to an affordable state, not CA!!!> > > My son did well during the 2nd grade school year. He began to becomeobsessed with a little friend named Hannah. He would get angry whenshe spoke to other boys. He would get angry if she didn't say hello tohim. The relationship became very black and white as the yearprogressed. Hannah has done her best to be a friend to my son. 2 weeksago my son got into the car and the VP told me that he had bruises onhis face. That he had hit himself because he couldn't sit next toHannah. I asked why did they not call me immediately? She said thebruises did not appear until school was almost out.

YET......theyfound my son in the cafeteria laying in a fetal position, violentlyslapping himself across the face. All the kids in the lunchroom werestanding on chairs to see what was happening. Hannah believed my sonwas having a heart attack. It scared her so much. No one called totell me this had happened. Not one call. My son had a bruise that tookup the whole> left side of his face and a large area behind his ear. You betterbelieve if he had come into school with bruises like that...they wouldhave called DFACS. When I questioned them further, they acted as if itwas nothing. Teachers were writing letters to Hannah's mother (who Iam friends with), Hannah's teacher was calling her. Hannah'steacher was going to my son's teacher and talking. Hannah's mother waswriting letters to both Principals and to teachers. I wrote letters tothe Principals and my son's teacher. They all called Hannah's

motherback. Did I get a phone call? NOPE. I wrote a letter to the leadteacher for Special Education. I was firm and stated that she wouldchange his IEP before the school year ends. She would have a solution.The only relief in all this is that she did call me back. She didchange his IEP to take him out of the main classroom and into theInclusion/Co- Teaching classroom. He will have a normal 3rd gradeteacher and> a special ed. teacher all day.> > He came home upset over Hannah again Monday of this week. (Last weekof school) I decided to keep him home the rest of the week to removethe stresses of seeing Hannah. The obsession needs to be undercontrol. Out of sight, out of mind. The last 2 days he has not saidanything about Hannah or other boys that talk to her. I took him toschool to pick up his things. They refused to let me go back with him.Saying we would disrupt the class. Which I

guess I can understand.But, it was their time for recess. They told me he could not saygoodbye to his friends under the circumstances. I was not yelling. Inever made a scene. Never said anything out of line. I did say that Ifelt they were not doing all they could to help in this finalweek of school. We would see them next year. The VP gave me a nastylook and walked away.> > It was the first time I have really been so hurt and felt sobetrayed by the school. I always felt they should have tested himearlier. He should not have been in SST for that long. They finallydid the testing as he went into second grade. Done at my insistance.I came armed with ALL his medical records. He did qualify for specialservices for Autistic children. We have been supportive of theirrecommendations. But...... . My son coming home from a melt down likethat, with a huge bruise on his face, was so shocking

to me. Shouldn'tthey call to tell me my son was found in the cafeteria in a fetalposition slapping himself? They acted as if it was nothing. I came toquestion the teachers the next day. The VP spoke with me. Again, theyacted as if I was nuts. Like they could not understand what I wasupset about. I'm more upset than I have ever been with the school. Ihave kept my mouth shut for 4 years. Been cooperative. Then they treatmy family> this way. Gave a ton of support to Hannah's family.....as well theyshould have. NO support for my son or myself. I am absolutely furious.I really wonder now if he is safe at school. Those bruises don't showup like they did by one or two slaps to the face. He had been hittinghis face HARD for a while before anyone got to him.> > For anyone who read through this.....thanks. Thanks for letting mevent. I just don't know what to do. Not sure if I am wrong and need

togive them a break. Or, if I am right. They did not protect my son. > > >

May 29, 2008

,Your husband sounds a lot like mine. Except I'm in the total beginning of this whole thing with 4 children, all under 6, with 2 of them suspected to be HFA. I'm so feeling like I have NO help in figuring this whole thing out, and DH is leaving it all up to me to figure out and then tell him what I came up with. DH doesn't help parent much...he does fun stuff with the kids, and if it's not fun, he doesn't want anything to do with it if he can help it. Oh, but when things are going on with the kids he has LOTS of suggestions of things *I* could do to change things.I'm glad I've got this group, as well as a few people in my community to help out with this whole thing, because I'm feeling somewhat lost in what we do next, as we're now in the waiting period to get in and be seen, which is probably going to be a LONG wait. So I feel like the boys should be doing SOMETHING through the summer to keep on track instead of just stagnating over the summer, but I don't know what. Ugh. It hurts my head to think about it...Mina Mina SmolinskiMommy to: 9/25/02 5/13/04Owen 7/1/05Lila 3/3/07 On May 28, 2008, at 8:02 PM, Wallbank wrote:Thank you so much Ruthie. Great advice. is in individual OT and he is in group OT. He has had several OT evals. He does see a pediatric psychiatrist and an autism specialist. He has been to floortime therapy. Everyone has said he doesn't need speech other than pragmatics. His hearing and sight have been tested. We do need to take him to see a Neurologist. We also need to find a really good socialization group. I had him in socialization therapy for a while and it wasn't specific for AS. I am meeting with a social worker from Children's Healthcare. His father takes him out to places and spends time with him. But, I am raising this child pretty much on my own. My husband is clueless. He does not deal with the schools, IEP's, Dr.'s....he is a playmate. My husband is no source of support. So, I really need the social worker to help me with local social groups, possible school changes or homeschooling options, support of some kind. I'll know more after seeing her. He also sees the autism Dr. this month and the ped. Psychiatrist. I also found a Autism advocate. She has to return my call. I have heard great things about her though. Wallbank - WittmayerDOK Grace Chapter"Prayer without work is empty words,service without prayer is labor lost."

May 29, 2008

Our son (15) is being discharged from RTC after 16 months. I must admit that I am apprehensive. He is still exhibiting some of the aggressive behaviors that he had when he went there. They are just less frequent. Of course, they have three male staff members on duty 24 hrs a day & the therapist on-site. Our psychiatrist has retired & with the shortage here in the New Orleans area we cannot get in to see one until Oct. I am glad that he is coming home, but wish us luck!Sent from my iPhoneBlessings, DonnaOn May 29, 2008, at 10:52 AM, Wallbank <w_wittmayer@...> wrote:

Hi Ruth,

You are an amazing woman! My hats off to you! I will definately consider homeschooling as an option. At this point I don't want to close the door to any possibilities.

Wallbank - Wittmayer

DOK Grace Chapter

"Prayer without work is empty words,service without prayer is labor lost."

Re: ( ) New Topic - In need of reassurance or advice

,

Can you call CPS (Child Protective Services) or whatever they call it in your state? This sounds like child abuse to me. When I was teaching, this would be something that I would have been required to report. I would report the school. It works both ways. Did you photograph the bruises? I hope he feels better soon.

Best wishes,

Liz

On May 23, 2008, at 6:49 PM, Wallbank wrote:

My son did well during the 2nd grade school year. He began to become obsessed with a little friend named Hannah. He would get angry when she spoke to other boys. He would get angry if she didn't say hello to him. The relationship became very black and white as the year progressed. Hannah has done her best to be a friend to my son. 2 weeks ago my son got into the car and the VP told me that he had bruises on his face. That he had hit himself because he couldn't sit next to Hannah. I asked why did they not call me immediately? She said the bruises did not appear until school was almost out. YET......they found my son in the cafeteria laying in a fetal position, violently slapping himself across the face. All the kids in the lunchroom were standing on chairs to see what was happening. Hannah believed my son was having a heart attack. It scared her so much. No one called to tell me this had happened. Not one call. My son had a bruise that took

up the whole left side of his face and a large area behind his ear. You better believe if he had come into school with bruises like that...they would have called DFACS. When I questioned them further, they acted as if it was nothing. Teachers were writing letters to Hannah's mother (who I am friends with), Hannah's teacher was calling her. Hannah's teacher was going to my son's teacher and talking. Hannah's mother was writing letters to both Principals and to teachers. I wrote letters to the Principals and my son's teacher. They all called Hannah's mother back. Did I get a phone call? NOPE. I wrote a letter to the lead teacher for Special Education. I was firm and stated that she would change his IEP before the school year ends. She would have a solution. The only relief in all this is that she did call me back. She did change his IEP to take him out of the main classroom and into the Inclusion/Co- Teaching classroom. He will have a

normal 3rd grade teacher and a special ed. teacher all day.

He came home upset over Hannah again Monday of this week. (Last week of school) I decided to keep him home the rest of the week to remove the stresses of seeing Hannah. The obsession needs to be under control. Out of sight, out of mind. The last 2 days he has not said anything about Hannah or other boys that talk to her. I took him to school to pick up his things. They refused to let me go back with him. Saying we would disrupt the class. Which I guess I can understand. But, it was their time for recess. They told me he could not say goodbye to his friends under the circumstances. I was not yelling. I never made a scene. Never said anything out of line. I did say that I felt they were not doing all they could to help in this final week of school. We would see them next year. The VP gave me a nasty look and walked away.

It was the first time I have really been so hurt and felt so betrayed by the school. I always felt they should have tested him earlier. He should not have been in SST for that long. They finally did the testing as he went into second grade. Done at my insistance. I came armed with ALL his medical records. He did qualify for special services for Autistic children. We have been supportive of their recommendations. But...... . My son coming home from a melt down like that, with a huge bruise on his face, was so shocking to me. Shouldn't they call to tell me my son was found in the cafeteria in a fetal position slapping himself? They acted as if it was nothing. I came to question the teachers the next day. The VP spoke with me. Again, they acted as if I was nuts. Like they could not understand what I was upset about. I'm more upset than I have ever been with the school. I have kept my mouth shut for 4 years. Been cooperative. Then they treat

my family this way. Gave a ton of support to Hannah's family.....as well they should have. NO support for my son or myself. I am absolutely furious. I really wonder now if he is safe at school. Those bruises don't show up like they did by one or two slaps to the face. He had been hitting his face HARD for a while before anyone got to him.

For anyone who read through this.....thanks. Thanks for letting me vent. I just don't know what to do. Not sure if I am wrong and need to give them a break. Or, if I am right. They did not protect my son.

May 29, 2008

First, it sounds like your husband needs to join YOU at couples counseling. LET A COUNSELOR tell him. I would tell him you called to get yourself an appointment, and they said that they would prefer to see you BOTH, so you were TOLD you BOTH have to come together. MOST counselors are going to set him straight, let him know you MUST be a team, and how IMPORTANT not only MAKING time for you and dating YOU, the mother of these children, but that he must PARENT all the time, not just during FUN times. CALL TOMORROW, set this up, and don't tell him until NEXT WEEK!!!!!

Secondly, I would pick a day, any day, that your calendar is 'free' for you (not kids but YOU); then, the night before, thirty minutes before, whenever it is, have a bag already packed and in your trunk, tell your husband your best friend (you have one of those?) is having a personal issue, has called you crying and just needs a friend right now, and you must leave right now. If he asks what is wrong, say I really do not know, but I will be back TOMORROW, two days from now, whenever it is. Then, GO ANYWHERE YOU WANT (I would suggest you INCLUDE the friend for a portion of it!!!!!)-----------------and either stay with a friend but if MONEY not a MAJOR issue, I would get a hotel room, and go and relax, sit in a hot tub, eat at a restaurant (preferably in the hotel so you can relax) ALONE and just have a heck of a great time!!!! Your husband needs to value YOU and see how much YOU do; if you are gone, what more can he do? Other than parent!?!?!

GO HOME WHEN YOU ARE DONE and tell him the truth: 1. I have been feeling like you do not think about me, my needs, and are not participating in how I parent the children......I do not feel guilty for what I did the past day or two or week or however long you are gone!!!........but I actually went and relaxed, thought, read a book, wrote a book, slept, whatever because I needed some time to think, be me, and regroup...............let him know how you feel, honey, and do not get rude or mean but let him have it------ask him how easy parenting all alone is / was; that YOU are working, hard, and want to be a partner, wife, and co-parent, not a single parenting in a marriage. (you get the jist)...............HE WILL FORGIVE YOU, and I CONTEND, appreciate you to pieces.

You will NOT be the first to take a trip and your husband parent; I go alone at least an entire weekend every year ALONE; my husband will start 'nagging me' if I don't as he feels I need a break from all the children, our's and daycare!! Last year, I went to an Aspergers Conference for 2 nights and three full days, sight seeing alone, and I had the time of my life, even driving there; I decided I was going to love every second of it, and I SURE DID!!!! The year before, I did an entire girls weekend with my two best friends growing up at a Y camp for the weekend----it was a riot!! We had a blast; my husband does not do these weekends; I have offered but he works and we both agree, that IS a break-----our kiddos are full-time jobs!!! Anyway, my girls' weekend was CHEAP and fun!!! Think it was like $40 including all meals for Friday night to Sunday after lunch at noon.

IF HE GUILT TRIPS YOU then, you must do the paragraph following!!!!!

And, if that does not work, get a video camera either out of your closet collecting dust or borrow one from someone you know that has one, secretly tape some things, and send it in with a "DEAR NANNY," PLEASE HELP ME NOW!!!! And, I am thinking that SUPER NANNY will come to your rescue!!!!

And, if neither of those work, let us know, as I can always come up with some more things to help someone out!!!! But, your husband needs a wake up call.

RUTHIE

From: mina@...Date: Thu, 29 May 2008 14:36:48 -0400Subject: Re: ( ) New Topic - In need of reassurance or advice

,

Your husband sounds a lot like mine. Except I'm in the total beginning of this whole thing with 4 children, all under 6, with 2 of them suspected to be HFA. I'm so feeling like I have NO help in figuring this whole thing out, and DH is leaving it all up to me to figure out and then tell him what I came up with. DH doesn't help parent much...he does fun stuff with the kids, and if it's not fun, he doesn't want anything to do with it if he can help it. Oh, but when things are going on with the kids he has LOTS of suggestions of things *I* could do to change things.

I'm glad I've got this group, as well as a few people in my community to help out with this whole thing, because I'm feeling somewhat lost in what we do next, as we're now in the waiting period to get in and be seen, which is probably going to be a LONG wait. So I feel like the boys should be doing SOMETHING through the summer to keep on track instead of just stagnating over the summer, but I don't know what. Ugh. It hurts my head to think about it...

Mina

Mina Smolinski

Mommy to:

9/25/02

5/13/04

Owen 7/1/05

Lila 3/3/07

On May 28, 2008, at 8:02 PM, Wallbank wrote:

Thank you so much Ruthie. Great advice.

is in individual OT and he is in group OT. He has had several OT evals. He does see a pediatric psychiatrist and an autism specialist. He has been to floortime therapy. Everyone has said he doesn't need speech other than pragmatics. His hearing and sight have been tested. We do need to take him to see a Neurologist. We also need to find a really good socialization group. I had him in socialization therapy for a while and it wasn't specific for AS. I am meeting with a social worker from Children's Healthcare. His father takes him out to places and spends time with him. But, I am raising this child pretty much on my own. My husband is clueless. He does not deal with the schools, IEP's, Dr.'s....he is a playmate. My husband is no source of support. So, I really need the social worker to help me with local social groups, possible school changes or homeschooling options, support of some kind. I'll know more after seeing her. He also sees the autism Dr. this month and the ped. Psychiatrist. I also found a Autism advocate. She has to return my call. I have heard great things about her though.

Wallbank - Wittmayer

DOK Grace Chapter

"Prayer without work is empty words,service without prayer is labor lost."

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