What do I say to other young children?

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I'm looking for some support and encouragement, mostly.

Yesterday we went to my daughter's year-end preschool potluck picnic

in a park. She was excited to go. When we arrived she hurried to go

play, but had a hard time early on. I guess you could describe her

as being anxious. It might have been because she's not used to

seeing her school staff and friends in that context. She made a lot

of infantile squeals " ooh ooh " , could not talk, and ran away from her

friends. On two different occasions when she came to me for comfort,

(which I offered as well as some hugging and shoulder compressions to

try to calm her from a sensory perspective)a little friend of hers

looked up at me and asked to explain her behavior " What's wrong with

dd? " I didn't know what to say, and didn't have a very good answer.

I tried to be nonchalant and reassuring, and I think the friends

quickly accepted my response, but I found it stressful. I guess my

dd started feeling better after we went off on our own to walk on a

miniature train track she'd done a year ago, and had planned to do

yesterday. She did have fun and played happily some of the time.

Her social skills deteriorated again as she grew more tired.

Thankfully, she is well-liked by the other kids, and several children

frequently sought her out, although she wasn't feeling well enough to

talk to them some of the time.

I find this difficult for me, because her special ed preschool staff

doesn't see this (and didn't seem to notice this in the busy setting

yesterday) and apparently doesn't accept her diagnosis. She

functions very well, according to them, on a day-to-day basis.

So, any support and encouragement is appreciated. I feel lonely and

wish I knew another family locally with a daughter similar to mine.

Thanks for reading,

[Guest guest]

I was extremely lucky when mine went through preschool.. we had no idea anything was wrong with him.. we just assumed he was unique and quirky. He is our youngest of four and I had a few abnormal things happen during pregnancies.. like the fact I didn't know I was pregnant til the 5th month .. (I was still huge and had just had his older sister a year before and was nursing).... but we started him early in preschool at age 3. He was bigger than all the other kids.. but they all loved him.. and even forgave him his differences... the girls loved him because he was the size of a 5 or 6 yr old... so it was like having an older brother.. and he never told them no.. with ANYTHING... toys, food.. etc..and the boys loved him because he

was TOUGH.. felt no pain and loved to get beat on.. not in a mean way.. but again.. and older brother to play rough with... The OT and teacher noticed other things though .. that put up red flags.. thats when we started trying to get help.It wasn't until he entered grade school that he had a problem. He'll be in 4th grade this coming year.. and we are just NOW starting to get help. I don't know what you can tell the other kids.. But I do know with my son.. I don't try to normalize him. He wonders why he is different.. and heard the term AS from an irresponsible teacher. He worried about the A word.. Autism. I told him he was very lucky. Autistic kids are wonderful kids who have a different view on things... kind of like their own world... most kids who aren't autistic see things like everyone else.. But he is fortunate enough to be able to peak into BOTH worlds and can benefit from having a larger view of things. I also used

the example.. that if a 9 yr old girl is nervous.. she might bite her nails.. while my son does a loud rendition of woody woodpecker... neither one is right or wrong.. just different.. they both find ways to calm themselves.I'm not saying As is not an issue or that Autism isn't. I just think that people should concentrate more on the GOOD of being different and not always the bad...and I think if you put it to these kids straight you'll be surprised, even that young, how well they can adapt to your child.. kids have these broad and wondrous little brains...and what they can't always understand they will rationalize in their own way..another plus is if you don't change schools.. if you can get these kids NOW to accept your child... they will always be able to "fit in" to a certain degree.good luck