What would you do? 6 yr old with Aspergers and Friends

June 19, 2008

My son Peyton has high functioning ASD or Aspergers. We are in the

process of a medical diagnosis, but have an " educational autism " label

from the school. He'll start SPED in the fall (1st grade). He'll be

mostly mainstreamed with just a little pull-out for OT and speech and

language (mainly social skills). Okay, so here's my dilemma.

We just moved into a new neighborhood.

There is a boy from next door that plays with Peyton occasionally, but

the boy is best friends with another boy from across the street and

Peyton is often a 3rd wheel. The 2nd boy has a brother (2 yrs older)

who apparently has no friends because all he does is hang out with the

6 yr olds all day.

I've noticed this older boy is very bossy to Peyton when Peyton is

over there and even seems to pick on him a bit. The boys often seem to

pick on each other (poopy head etc.) and it's hard for me to tell what

is good-natured ribbing and what is cruel. This older boy seems to

cross over to cruel sometimes.

This is where Peyton's ASD comes into play. Peyton doesn't get it. He

rarely ribs back (what would make him more part of the group). He

doesn't get hurt (don't say that etc.). He just answers back (no, I'm

not or no I don't). For example today one of the boys said " Peyton

you're stinky " . Peyton's response was " no, I just took a bath today " .

That drew a chuckle from the group. Another boy chimed in " Well, Adam

you smell like dog doo " . Peyton didn't keep up with this game of

name-calling, instead he just was adamant that he was clean and went

on with his play. Today the boys came over and asked for Peyton to

play. The neighbor's yard is back to back with mine so I watch through

the window and keep and eye on things, but give him independence that

he needs. After a time of this I came over and called Peyton home for

lunch. I heard the older one say that he should come over after lunch

but if they weren't there they'd be at this other boy's and that

Peyton couldn't go there. As soon as Peyton left the yard they

immediately ran off to this other boy's. I feel like the older one

specifically wanted to abandon Peyton.

My question after that long-winded explanation is this: What would you

do? Let Peyton continue to play with the boys where he is socially

clueless and give him some " pep talks " and practice afterwards so that

he gets better at this stuff. Only let him play when it's one-on-one

or when the older boy is not present (which almost never happens) or

just not let him play at all?

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