Re: I think my son's teacher is lying to me

November 19, 2008

Oh my!! I would set up a meeting with the teacher and the principal

asap! He's only 4 and if he's telling you all this and you are

seeing a pattern then I would believe his side...to a point. But

the teacher should not be saying he's overly sensitive when it comes

to someone invading his space and messing with his art. Also, when

did a kid wanting to wrestle with other kids in school become okay

or even something that " means no harm " . I'm sorry but I would

request for a meeting before the end of the day and take care of

this now. If it can't be resolved with the teacher I would request

for him to be moved into another class and if that's not going to

happen then I would report this incident to the school

board/superintendent. Trust me you'll get somewhere if you say you

are taking this matter to the school board/superintendent.

If all of this is going on at 4 and in kindergarten just imagine how

it can get when he gets a little older! I really think your son has

a teacher that doesn't have a tolerance for him and is letting the

kids get away with this. You should have been called immediately

when he was hurt with the broken cheekbone! This is totally

unacceptable!! Please let us know what happens.

>

> Hi everyone,

>

> I would like to know if anyone has had a similar experience.

> I am at the end of my rope with my son and his teacher. I don't

> knowwho to believe. My son cries everyday on the way to school,

he

> hates recess because he tells me the other kids won't play with

him.

> The teacher says he is lying and that he has lots of friends.

>

> He told me another child in class was punching him and messing up

> his art work when I spoke to the teacher she told me was

being

> too sensitive and that this other kid was just too hyperactive and

> liked to wrestle the other kids but meant no harm by it.

>

> Then last week came home from school with a broken cheek

bone.

> The teacher came out after school to tell me he had walked into

the

> door frame coming in from recess, is adament that 3 boys

pushed

> him into the window and laughed at him.

>

> He tells me the other kids are picking on him and making fun of

> everything he does, it is absolutely breaking my heart.

>

> I know is overly sensitive and he takes things the wrong way

> but his attitude at home has changed too, he has become defiant

and

> violent with me, so I know something is up.

>

> I feel like taking him out of school but I don't really want to

> homeschool. is only 4 and just started his first year of

> Kindergarten I didn't think it would be so hard for him already.

>

> Thanx for listening

> S

>

November 19, 2008

My gosh.....I almost don't know where to start but I know you'll get lots of good advice.

1st, for me,,,,,,,did they call you when "he" broke his cheekbone? Did the principal nurse talk to you?

I'd personally,,,,,,call your states' autism society.......just to chat and get their advice. Or if you have autism advocates in your county. You can find out by calling social services in your county.

A thing that made me cringe was hearing that the "teacher" said he was too sensitive. What the H***? Also,,,,,,and I speak as a mom with a kid/kids that are also a bit hyper,,,, if a hyper kid is wrestling.....especially in class,,,,,,,it's not ok. Either that teacher is not able to handle what's going on or doesn't feel she needs to. What is a teacher doing saying that a kid just likes to wrestle and that the "opponent" is just too sensitive.

I don't know if you have a good person there that you could talk to and bring up your concerns. Is there a Spec Ed teacher/school psych? Go to the principal....but first, honestly,,,,,I'd email the teacher,,,,,and ask her to explain again what happened with "such and such" incidents. Keep the emails........

Then,,,,email the principal and explain your concerns and that you are questioning the teachers actions.

But,,,,seriously,,,,,,I'd pull him out. At least until this is resolved. But that's me.

He's not going to fall behind in Kinderg. Heck,,,,those workbooks you buy at Walmart can teach him things, ya know?

I listened to my son cry and honestly be sick all of 5th grade. I couldn't imagine that it could be better at home or that I could teach him. Ha!!!!

Life is good. We yanked him out after 5th and things couldn't be better. (But we virtual school,,,,so lots of the work is done for us).

So,,,,,,I'm not pushing that you homeschool him,,,,,,but you could honestly have a lawsuit, here. Kids, especially kinderg's, don't come home with broken cheekbones.

Also,,,,,,,you know what? Your son MAY be changing. There is a lot going on with our kids, ya know? Well,,,,,then, he obviously needs to have a more structured classroom. You dont' need to be told that he's too sensitive. Oh.....before I go......the idea of kids wrestling him.......my son, anyway,,,,couldnt' handle people ON him. He could crawl on them....but it had to be on his terms. Ugh. How horrible that must feel / be for him to have another kid hanging on him.

Get back to us, please.

Good luck.

(Start emailing and saving them).

Robin

From: frecklefacedcutie <punkyshazza@...>Subject: ( ) I think my son's teacher is lying to me Date: Wednesday, November 19, 2008, 12:24 AM

Hi everyone,I would like to know if anyone has had a similar experience.I am at the end of my rope with my son and his teacher. I don't knowwho to believe. My son cries everyday on the way to school, he hates recess because he tells me the other kids won't play with him. The teacher says he is lying and that he has lots of friends. He told me another child in class was punching him and messing up his art work when I spoke to the teacher she told me was being too sensitive and that this other kid was just too hyperactive and liked to wrestle the other kids but meant no harm by it. Then last week came home from school with a broken cheek bone. The teacher came out after school to tell me he had walked into the door frame coming in from recess, is adament that 3 boys pushed him into the window and laughed at him. He tells me the other kids are picking on him and

making fun of everything he does, it is absolutely breaking my heart. I know is overly sensitive and he takes things the wrong way but his attitude at home has changed too, he has become defiant and violent with me, so I know something is up. I feel like taking him out of school but I don't really want to homeschool. is only 4 and just started his first year of Kindergarten I didn't think it would be so hard for him already.Thanx for listening S

November 19, 2008

Holy crow!!! He broke his cheekbone? I would tend to think there is more to the story. That seems extreme for just walking into a door frame. If he was running into it - at full steam, perhaps. But not walking.

Also, When you asked about the picture being messed up, I was not clear on what the answer was. Teacher said the other kid is hyperactive and always wanting to wrestle...but did he mess up the picture? And why is that ok? Even if the other kid has issues, it doesn't mean your ds does not deserve his own space. The other kid needed to be timed out or something or your ds could have been moved away from hyperactive kid.

As for wondering who is telling the truth, I would go to school myself and spend some quality time observing or send someone else if having you there would bother your ds. Many many times, I was told there were no problems but when I showed up to observe, there were problems.

This is not to say the teacher is lying. But you can find out the truth by going and seeing what's going on. Maybe you could stand outside the recess area and privately observe? Sit outside in the hall and peek in to see what's going on. With my own kids, I could stand in the room and they wouldn't have cared or noticed. So I could observe a lot that way. But if I had to be sneakier, I could do it. Teacher can not pretend over a long period of time so even if she's extra careful/nice, if there are problems, you will see them eventually. So I would plan to go on different occassions.

You could also volunteer in the classroom on a regular basis. I have learned a lot that way too. It depends on your schedule and your ability to handle lots of energetic kids, lol. But it's another option.

At the least, I would be at school observing however you can manage it to see for yourself what is happening.

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

( ) I think my son's teacher is lying to me

Hi everyone,I would like to know if anyone has had a similar experience.I am at the end of my rope with my son and his teacher. I don't knowwho to believe. My son cries everyday on the way to school, he hates recess because he tells me the other kids won't play with him. The teacher says he is lying and that he has lots of friends. He told me another child in class was punching him and messing up his art work when I spoke to the teacher she told me was being too sensitive and that this other kid was just too hyperactive and liked to wrestle the other kids but meant no harm by it. Then last week came home from school with a broken cheek bone. The teacher came out after school to tell me he had walked into the door frame coming in from recess, is adament that 3 boys pushed him into the window and laughed at him. He tells me the other kids are picking on him and making fun of everything he does, it is absolutely breaking my heart. I know is overly sensitive and he takes things the wrong way but his attitude at home has changed too, he has become defiant and violent with me, so I know something is up. I feel like taking him out of school but I don't really want to homeschool. is only 4 and just started his first year of Kindergarten I didn't think it would be so hard for him already.Thanx for listening S

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November 19, 2008

Robin's advice gave me another idea - you could request he be put in another K classroom if you have more than one. This teacher may be just too unstructured overall to accommodation your ds's needs. And I agree - too sensitive? I think if one doesn't want to wrestle in the classroom, one should be able to say "no" and have it stop. Hmmm, kind of wonder what this teacher would find unacceptable? lol.

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

( ) I think my son's teacher is lying to me Date: Wednesday, November 19, 2008, 12:24 AM

Hi everyone,I would like to know if anyone has had a similar experience.I am at the end of my rope with my son and his teacher. I don't knowwho to believe. My son cries everyday on the way to school, he hates recess because he tells me the other kids won't play with him. The teacher says he is lying and that he has lots of friends. He told me another child in class was punching him and messing up his art work when I spoke to the teacher she told me was being too sensitive and that this other kid was just too hyperactive and liked to wrestle the other kids but meant no harm by it. Then last week came home from school with a broken cheek bone. The teacher came out after school to tell me he had walked into the door frame coming in from recess, is adament that 3 boys pushed him into the window and laughed at him. He tells me the other kids are picking on him and making fun of everything he does, it is absolutely breaking my heart. I know is overly sensitive and he takes things the wrong way but his attitude at home has changed too, he has become defiant and violent with me, so I know something is up. I feel like taking him out of school but I don't really want to homeschool. is only 4 and just started his first year of Kindergarten I didn't think it would be so hard for him already.Thanx for listening S

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November 19, 2008

Perhaps your SON, having ASPERGER'S perception / how he 'sees it' is different than

what happened, how perhaps you, me, or the teacher may SEE how something happened;

regardless, your son's perception is not only part of his diagnosis, but completely him. He

needs to be seen and heard for him, his perceptions, etc. Regardless of whether he ran in

to the door, or a kid pushed him; he believes he was pushed. My history with my own two

AS kiddos is that they were pushed. For anyone, including a teacher to use the word

LYING and telling you that your child is LYING is a problem. You need to get the principal involved

yesterday; they can monitor that teacher and your child. And, I would DEMAND having an aide

NOW to find out what the H___ is going on with your child. Meanwhile, I think I would not send my

kid back, I would just be so torn if I were you, but get up to that school and start watching, observing, etc.

yourself. For your son to have tons of friends, and such would be completely out of the norm for our

sons and daughters with AS, period, so I feel your teacher is the one being dishonest here. SCHOOLS in general

do not want to pay for services, so perhaps she is sugar coating things but wrestling, picking on, pushing, etc.

all unexceptable; due to our anti-bullying programming at our school, this would NOT be tolerated, PERIOD.

I question the teacher at every turn and what she is doing trying to convince you your child is just not

worth it / worth her effort, worth her making stories or being dishonest; why????? This is NOT for her for sure, but

that is NOT your son's problem. I would get him a great therapist, if you don't already have one, and get him to

go there immediately so the harm being done can be repaired NOW because your son is going to start thinking this

treatment of him is okay, and it is not, period, end of story.

THERE THINGS ENRAGE ME....your son is not being treated appropriately, and to have a broken cheek bone without the

school doing anything? WHAT????? URGH!!! Don't get me started....................

Ruthie Dolezal

n, IA

Mom of 2 sons with AS (ages 14 3/4 and 7 1/2 years), NT 5 year old, and "baby due 6-10".

Wife of my husband

From: madideas@...Date: Wed, 19 Nov 2008 08:57:37 -0500Subject: Re: ( ) I think my son's teacher is lying to me

Robin's advice gave me another idea - you could request he be put in another K classroom if you have more than one. This teacher may be just too unstructured overall to accommodation your ds's needs. And I agree - too sensitive? I think if one doesn't want to wrestle in the classroom, one should be able to say "no" and have it stop. Hmmm, kind of wonder what this teacher would find unacceptable? lol.

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

( ) I think my son's teacher is lying to me Date: Wednesday, November 19, 2008, 12:24 AM

Hi everyone,I would like to know if anyone has had a similar experience.I am at the end of my rope with my son and his teacher. I don't knowwho to believe. My son cries everyday on the way to school, he hates recess because he tells me the other kids won't play with him. The teacher says he is lying and that he has lots of friends. He told me another child in class was punching him and messing up his art work when I spoke to the teacher she told me was being too sensitive and that this other kid was just too hyperactive and liked to wrestle the other kids but meant no harm by it. Then last week came home from school with a broken cheek bone. The teacher came out after school to tell me he had walked into the door frame coming in from recess, is adament that 3 boys pushed him into the window and laughed at him. He tells me the other kids are picking on him and making fun of everything he does, it is absolutely breaking my heart. I know is overly sensitive and he takes things the wrong way but his attitude at home has changed too, he has become defiant and violent with me, so I know something is up. I feel like taking him out of school but I don't really want to homeschool. is only 4 and just started his first year of Kindergarten I didn't think it would be so hard for him already.Thanx for listening S

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November 19, 2008

I think that the " truth " is probably somewhere in the middle of all

of this mess. Aspie perseption is definitly going to play a part in

his idea of what happened. Just yesterday my ds told me that he got

beat up at recess for no reason at all. So I asked if his teachers

knew about it and he said no, only the recess supervisor. So I sent

an email to his teachers to give them a heads up on what he said.

They emailed back right away. They did know about it and it was a

case where he was playing near where some boys were throwing a

baseball and he was hit accidentally.

I believe the teachers side of things because the teacher really

knows my son and how he reacts. She also knows the other child and

he is not an aggressive type nor does he pick on my son. And I know

that when my son gets hurt he goes into attack mode. But I also know

that he believed everything he was saying. That is his perception.

With all that being said there are some serious issues at play here

that need to be delt with. A broken bone of any kind should have

been delt with more seriously. I assume that the teacher did not

know the injury was that bad. Does she know now? Also the school

needs to be aware if they don't because their insurance should cover

any medical costs incurred.

I would be talking to the pricipal about this immediately and making

sure that some changes happen. I wouldn't jump to the conclusion

that the school is trying to cover things up but the teacher is

clearly not on top of what is going on so either she need help (an

aide) or your son needs to be in a different environment.

Vickie

> From: frecklefacedcutie <punkyshazza@...>Subject:

( ) I think my son's teacher is lying to meTo:

@...: Wednesday, November 19, 2008, 12:24 AM

>

> Hi everyone,I would like to know if anyone has had a similar

experience.I am at the end of my rope with my son and his teacher. I

don't knowwho to believe. My son cries everyday on the way to school,

he hates recess because he tells me the other kids won't play with

him. The teacher says he is lying and that he has lots of friends. He

told me another child in class was punching him and messing up his

art work when I spoke to the teacher she told me was being too

sensitive and that this other kid was just too hyperactive and liked

to wrestle the other kids but meant no harm by it. Then last week

came home from school with a broken cheek bone. The teacher came

out after school to tell me he had walked into the door frame coming

in from recess, is adament that 3 boys pushed him into the

window and laughed at him. He tells me the other kids are picking on

him and making fun of everything he does, it is absolutely breaking

my heart. I know is overly sensitive and he takes things the

wrong way but his attitude at home has changed too, he has become

defiant and violent with me, so I know something is up. I feel like

taking him out of school but I don't really want to homeschool.

is only 4 and just started his first year of Kindergarten I didn't

think it would be so hard for him already.Thanx for listening S

>

> No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG -

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Release Date: 11/18/2008 8:59 PM

>

November 19, 2008

Great response, Vickie. Spot on, in my opinion!

To 's mom...hang in there. If you can go up to the school today and talk to the teacher/special ed dept/principal...somebody...and get a good response, I'd leave him in class. You don't want him to think if things get bad, he doesn't have to go to school. That could open up a whole new can of worms. That being said, if this doesn't get resolved quickly enough, and to your satisfaction, I'd understand pulling him out for a couple of days.

You didn't say in your email, but does your child have an IEP in place? Does he qualify for special education or a 504? Are there any accommodations listed for your son and if so, are they being followed? Knowing the answers to these questions can help us provide more assistance.

Good luck!

From: Vickie Boehnlein <baneline1@...> Sent: Wednesday, November 19, 2008 8:56:00 AMSubject: Re: ( ) I think my son's teacher is lying to me

I think that the "truth" is probably somewhere in the middle of all of this mess. Aspie perseption is definitly going to play a part in his idea of what happened. Just yesterday my ds told me that he got beat up at recess for no reason at all. So I asked if his teachers knew about it and he said no, only the recess supervisor. So I sent an email to his teachers to give them a heads up on what he said. They emailed back right away. They did know about it and it was a case where he was playing near where some boys were throwing a baseball and he was hit accidentally. I believe the teachers side of things because the teacher really knows my son and how he reacts. She also knows the other child and he is not an aggressive type nor does he pick on my son. And I know that when my son gets hurt he goes into attack mode. But I also know that he believed everything he was saying. That is his

perception.With all that being said there are some serious issues at play here that need to be delt with. A broken bone of any kind should have been delt with more seriously. I assume that the teacher did not know the injury was that bad. Does she know now? Also the school needs to be aware if they don't because their insurance should cover any medical costs incurred. I would be talking to the pricipal about this immediately and making sure that some changes happen. I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that the school is trying to cover things up but the teacher is clearly not on top of what is going on so either she need help (an aide) or your son needs to be in a different environment.Vickie> From: frecklefacedcutie <punkyshazza@ ...>Subject: ( ) I think my son's teacher is lying to me @ ...: Wednesday, November 19, 2008, 12:24 AM> > >

Hi everyone,I would like to know if anyone has had a similar experience.I am at the end of my rope with my son and his teacher. I don't knowwho to believe. My son cries everyday on the way to school, he hates recess because he tells me the other kids won't play with him. The teacher says he is lying and that he has lots of friends. He told me another child in class was punching him and messing up his art work when I spoke to the teacher she told me was being too sensitive and that this other kid was just too hyperactive and liked to wrestle the other kids but meant no harm by it. Then last week came home from school with a broken cheek bone. The teacher came out after school to tell me he had walked into the door frame coming in from recess, is adament that 3 boys pushed him into the window and laughed at him. He tells me the other kids are picking on him and making fun of everything he

does, it is absolutely breaking my heart. I know is overly sensitive and he takes things the wrong way but his attitude at home has changed too, he has become defiant and violent with me, so I know something is up. I feel like taking him out of school but I don't really want to homeschool. is only 4 and just started his first year of Kindergarten I didn't think it would be so hard for him already.Thanx for listening S> > > > No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.175 / Virus Database: 270.9.7/1798 - Release Date: 11/18/2008 8:59 PM>

November 19, 2008

>

> Hi everyone,

>

> I would like to know if anyone has had a similar experience.

> I am at the end of my rope with my son and his teacher. I don't

> knowwho to believe.

I think all of us have had experiences like this. You should

believe both of them. Your son sees things his own way. The teacher

is not as familiar with autism as she should be and is missing things.

IMHO, this is a teacher training problem. Your first step is to

contact the principal and let him/her know of the problem. Make sure

you give them enough detail so that they understand the problem and

understand the seriousness of it. Talk with them enough so that you

get it spit back to you and can verify that you are understanding each

other. You will need to give them at least a couple of days for the

principal to check things out and decide what to do. They will

probably call you in for a meeting at that point and let you know what

they've decided to do.

At least this is how it works for me. I'm actually in the middle of

one of these things right now. My son is 14yo with Asperger. The

assistant principal in charge of my son's 504 team has been explaining

away my concerns and the teachers are not following my son's 504 Plan

(or don't know how). The assistant principal has been doing this

consistently all of this year and the last grading period of last

year, so I had to write a letter of protest with all my points, copied

to the principal. I know they are working on it because I haven't

heard back from them yet.

Unfortunately, this is something you will get used to (well, kind of).

Making adjustments in your son's IEP/504 to account for his changing

needs, meeting with teachers and administrators to fine tune how your

son's needs are met--this is an ongoing thing. So, hang in there. It

will get easier as you learn about IDEA, 504, your son's needs and

rights, get practice articulating it, etc. Some people hire an

advocate or an attorney; you can always do that.

Ruth

November 19, 2008

No I wasn't called whe he broke his cheekbone, the teacher didn't even know it was broken but when he got home he couldn't eat or talk without it hurting so I took him to the ER. Ihave set up a meeting with the teacher for next week. I can't understand why she would be acting like this toward him, I know he is different but he is very quiet in class and doesn't cause any problems. I really think I should pull him out he is not going to fall behind because he is already reading at a 4th grade level so I don't think they could even teach him anything I haven't already. I really wanted him to go to school so I could have alone time with my younger one because does get alot more attention at home because of his problems but I will no way have him being bullied like this for the rest of his school career it will just make his

problems that much worse.

Sharon

From: frecklefacedcutie <punkyshazza@ .ca>Subject: ( ) I think my son's teacher is lying to me Date: Wednesday, November 19, 2008, 12:24 AM

Hi everyone,I would like to know if anyone has had a similar experience.I am at the end of my rope with my son and his teacher. I don't knowwho to believe. My son cries everyday on the way to school, he hates recess because he tells me the other kids won't play with him. The teacher says he is lying and that he has lots of friends. He told me another child in class was punching him and messing up his art work when I spoke to the teacher she told me was being too sensitive and that this other kid was just too hyperactive and liked to wrestle the other kids but meant no harm by it. Then last week came home from school with a broken cheek bone. The teacher came out after school to tell me he had walked into the door frame coming in from recess, is adament that 3 boys pushed him into the window and laughed at him. He tells me the other kids are picking on him and

making fun of everything he does, it is absolutely breaking my heart. I know is overly sensitive and he takes things the wrong way but his attitude at home has changed too, he has become defiant and violent with me, so I know something is up. I feel like taking him out of school but I don't really want to homeschool. is only 4 and just started his first year of Kindergarten I didn't think it would be so hard for him already.Thanx for listening S

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November 19, 2008

Believe me my son doesn't run full steam ever lol he is so slow all the time so I know he couldn't have broken a cheekbone by himself. I have gone on one school trip with the class and helped out for their Halloween party. Everything seemed ok then but that was only 2 days and maybe the kids were behaving because I was there. I think I may have to be sneakier with this to get to the bottom of it. Thanx that is a great idea.

Sharon

From: Roxanna <madideas@...>Subject: Re: ( ) I think my son's teacher is lying to me Received: Wednesday, November 19, 2008, 8:55 AM

Holy crow!!! He broke his cheekbone? I would tend to think there is more to the story. That seems extreme for just walking into a door frame. If he was running into it - at full steam, perhaps. But not walking.

Also, When you asked about the picture being messed up, I was not clear on what the answer was. Teacher said the other kid is hyperactive and always wanting to wrestle...but did he mess up the picture? And why is that ok? Even if the other kid has issues, it doesn't mean your ds does not deserve his own space. The other kid needed to be timed out or something or your ds could have been moved away from hyperactive kid.

As for wondering who is telling the truth, I would go to school myself and spend some quality time observing or send someone else if having you there would bother your ds. Many many times, I was told there were no problems but when I showed up to observe, there were problems.

This is not to say the teacher is lying. But you can find out the truth by going and seeing what's going on. Maybe you could stand outside the recess area and privately observe? Sit outside in the hall and peek in to see what's going on. With my own kids, I could stand in the room and they wouldn't have cared or noticed. So I could observe a lot that way. But if I had to be sneakier, I could do it. Teacher can not pretend over a long period of time so even if she's extra careful/nice, if there are problems, you will see them eventually. So I would plan to go on different occassions.

You could also volunteer in the classroom on a regular basis. I have learned a lot that way too. It depends on your schedule and your ability to handle lots of energetic kids, lol. But it's another option.

At the least, I would be at school observing however you can manage it to see for yourself what is happening.

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

( ) I think my son's teacher is lying to me

Hi everyone,I would like to know if anyone has had a similar experience.I am at the end of my rope with my son and his teacher. I don't knowwho to believe. My son cries everyday on the way to school, he hates recess because he tells me the other kids won't play with him. The teacher says he is lying and that he has lots of friends. He told me another child in class was punching him and messing up his art work when I spoke to the teacher she told me was being too sensitive and that this other kid was just too hyperactive and liked to wrestle the other kids but meant no harm by it. Then last week came home from school with a broken cheek bone. The teacher came out after school to tell me he had walked into the door frame coming in from recess, is adament that 3 boys pushed him into the window and laughed at him. He tells me the other kids are picking on him and

making fun of everything he does, it is absolutely breaking my heart. I know is overly sensitive and he takes things the wrong way but his attitude at home has changed too, he has become defiant and violent with me, so I know something is up. I feel like taking him out of school but I don't really want to homeschool. is only 4 and just started his first year of Kindergarten I didn't think it would be so hard for him already.Thanx for listening S

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November 19, 2008

Yes I really didn't want to pull him out of school for the reason that he would think that anything he didn't want to do after that he could easily get out of by telling me people are picking on him. He does not have an IEP or any special education he is gifted actually so everyone expects so much from him. The teacher has even suggested bumping him up a grade because the work is boring him. I don't want to do that because if he can't deal with 4 year olds how would he be with 6 year olds? I gave the teacher a copy of his assessment report with instructions for the teacher from the therapist. I even asked the teacher if she could assign 2 kids to take care of and play with at recess but she said he was fine and that wasn't neccessary. I think she has probably dealt with Aspies before and thinks us parents are

overbearing and overprotective that is how she is coming off to me.

Sharon

From: MacAllister <smacalli@...>Subject: Re: ( ) I think my son's teacher is lying to me Received: Wednesday, November 19, 2008, 10:13 AM

Great response, Vickie. Spot on, in my opinion!

To 's mom...hang in there. If you can go up to the school today and talk to the teacher/special ed dept/principal. ..somebody. ..and get a good response, I'd leave him in class. You don't want him to think if things get bad, he doesn't have to go to school. That could open up a whole new can of worms. That being said, if this doesn't get resolved quickly enough, and to your satisfaction, I'd understand pulling him out for a couple of days.

You didn't say in your email, but does your child have an IEP in place? Does he qualify for special education or a 504? Are there any accommodations listed for your son and if so, are they being followed? Knowing the answers to these questions can help us provide more assistance.

Good luck!

From: Vickie Boehnlein <baneline1msn (DOT) com> Sent: Wednesday, November 19, 2008 8:56:00 AMSubject: Re: ( ) I think my son's teacher is lying to me

I think that the "truth" is probably somewhere in the middle of all of this mess. Aspie perseption is definitly going to play a part in his idea of what happened. Just yesterday my ds told me that he got beat up at recess for no reason at all. So I asked if his teachers knew about it and he said no, only the recess supervisor. So I sent an email to his teachers to give them a heads up on what he said. They emailed back right away. They did know about it and it was a case where he was playing near where some boys were throwing a baseball and he was hit accidentally. I believe the teachers side of things because the teacher really knows my son and how he reacts. She also knows the other child and he is not an aggressive type nor does he pick on my son. And I know that when my son gets hurt he goes into attack mode. But I also know that he believed everything he was saying. That is his

perception.With all that being said there are some serious issues at play here that need to be delt with. A broken bone of any kind should have been delt with more seriously. I assume that the teacher did not know the injury was that bad. Does she know now? Also the school needs to be aware if they don't because their insurance should cover any medical costs incurred. I would be talking to the pricipal about this immediately and making sure that some changes happen. I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that the school is trying to cover things up but the teacher is clearly not on top of what is going on so either she need help (an aide) or your son needs to be in a different environment.Vickie> From: frecklefacedcutie <punkyshazza@ ...>Subject: ( ) I think my son's teacher is lying to me @ ...: Wednesday, November 19, 2008, 12:24 AM> > > Hi everyone,I would like to know if anyone has had a similar experience.I am at the end of my

rope with my son and his teacher. I don't knowwho to believe. My son cries everyday on the way to school, he hates recess because he tells me the other kids won't play with him. The teacher says he is lying and that he has lots of friends. He told me another child in class was punching him and messing up his art work when I spoke to the teacher she told me was being too sensitive and that this other kid was just too hyperactive and liked to wrestle the other kids but meant no harm by it. Then last week came home from school with a broken cheek bone. The teacher came out after school to tell me he had walked into the door frame coming in from recess, is adament that 3 boys pushed him into the window and laughed at him. He tells me the other kids are picking on him and making fun of everything he does, it is absolutely breaking my heart. I know is overly sensitive and he takes things

the wrong way but his attitude at home has changed too, he has become defiant and violent with me, so I know something is up. I feel like taking him out of school but I don't really want to homeschool. is only 4 and just started his first year of Kindergarten I didn't think it would be so hard for him already.Thanx for listening S> > > > No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.175 / Virus Database: 270.9.7/1798 - Release Date: 11/18/2008 8:59 PM>

Get the name you've always wanted ! @ymail.com or @rocketmail.com.

November 19, 2008

My son is also gifted (IQ almost in the high 120s), in all advanced placement classes in middle school, but also received services through the Special Education department b/c of his Aspergers and associated behaviors. That's the first thing you need to do, request an evaluation from the school in writing and hopefully get an IEP or some accommodations in place. I think it's great you tried just working directly with the teacher but she's not legally required to honor your personal requests.

From: Sharon McAleese <punkyshazza@...> Sent: Wednesday, November 19, 2008 3:31:10 PMSubject: Re: ( ) I think my son's teacher is lying to me

Yes I really didn't want to pull him out of school for the reason that he would think that anything he didn't want to do after that he could easily get out of by telling me people are picking on him. He does not have an IEP or any special education he is gifted actually so everyone expects so much from him. The teacher has even suggested bumping him up a grade because the work is boring him. I don't want to do that because if he can't deal with 4 year olds how would he be with 6 year olds? I gave the teacher a copy of his assessment report with instructions for the teacher from the therapist. I even asked the teacher if she could assign 2 kids to take care of and play with at recess but she said he was fine and that wasn't neccessary. I think she has probably dealt with Aspies before and thinks us parents are overbearing and overprotective that is how she is coming off to me.

Sharon

From: MacAllister <smacalli (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) I think my son's teacher is lying to me Received: Wednesday, November 19, 2008, 10:13 AM

Great response, Vickie. Spot on, in my opinion!

To 's mom...hang in there. If you can go up to the school today and talk to the teacher/special ed dept/principal. ..somebody. ..and get a good response, I'd leave him in class. You don't want him to think if things get bad, he doesn't have to go to school. That could open up a whole new can of worms. That being said, if this doesn't get resolved quickly enough, and to your satisfaction, I'd understand pulling him out for a couple of days.

You didn't say in your email, but does your child have an IEP in place? Does he qualify for special education or a 504? Are there any accommodations listed for your son and if so, are they being followed? Knowing the answers to these questions can help us provide more assistance.

Good luck!

From: Vickie Boehnlein <baneline1msn (DOT) com> Sent: Wednesday, November 19, 2008 8:56:00 AMSubject: Re: ( ) I think my son's teacher is lying to me

I think that the "truth" is probably somewhere in the middle of all of this mess. Aspie perseption is definitly going to play a part in his idea of what happened. Just yesterday my ds told me that he got beat up at recess for no reason at all. So I asked if his teachers knew about it and he said no, only the recess supervisor. So I sent an email to his teachers to give them a heads up on what he said. They emailed back right away. They did know about it and it was a case where he was playing near where some boys were throwing a baseball and he was hit accidentally. I believe the teachers side of things because the teacher really knows my son and how he reacts. She also knows the other child and he is not an aggressive type nor does he pick on my son. And I know that when my son gets hurt he goes into attack mode. But I also know that he believed everything he was saying. That is his

perception.With all that being said there are some serious issues at play here that need to be delt with. A broken bone of any kind should have been delt with more seriously. I assume that the teacher did not know the injury was that bad. Does she know now? Also the school needs to be aware if they don't because their insurance should cover any medical costs incurred. I would be talking to the pricipal about this immediately and making sure that some changes happen. I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that the school is trying to cover things up but the teacher is clearly not on top of what is going on so either she need help (an aide) or your son needs to be in a different environment.Vickie> From: frecklefacedcutie <punkyshazza@ ...>Subject: ( ) I think my son's teacher is lying to me @ ...: Wednesday, November 19, 2008, 12:24 AM> > >

Hi everyone,I would like to know if anyone has had a similar experience.I am at the end of my rope with my son and his teacher. I don't knowwho to believe. My son cries everyday on the way to school, he hates recess because he tells me the other kids won't play with him. The teacher says he is lying and that he has lots of friends. He told me another child in class was punching him and messing up his art work when I spoke to the teacher she told me was being too sensitive and that this other kid was just too hyperactive and liked to wrestle the other kids but meant no harm by it. Then last week came home from school with a broken cheek bone. The teacher came out after school to tell me he had walked into the door frame coming in from recess, is adament that 3 boys pushed him into the window and laughed at him. He tells me the other kids are picking on him and making fun of everything he

does, it is absolutely breaking my heart. I know is overly sensitive and he takes things the wrong way but his attitude at home has changed too, he has become defiant and violent with me, so I know something is up. I feel like taking him out of school but I don't really want to homeschool. is only 4 and just started his first year of Kindergarten I didn't think it would be so hard for him already.Thanx for listening S> > > > No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.175 / Virus Database: 270.9.7/1798 - Release Date: 11/18/2008 8:59 PM>

Get the name you've always wanted ! @ymail.com or @rocketmail. com.

November 19, 2008

But the problem could be that dealing with 4 year olds can be harder

than dealing with more mature children, ones who are more likely to

respect his space, and less into the 4 year old wrestling common at

that age.

my daughter is similar to your son, really doesn't like much touch at

all, and she does MUCH better with older children. In fact, she's in a

class with kids years older than her and flourishing.

Also, when in doubt, always take your kid's side. It's much better than

if he's telling you the truth and you don't believe it. Even if he's

lying or exaggerating, taking his side can help him in some ways.

You know what, even if he's lying (and I doubt he is. it looks more

like the teacher doesn't want to take responsibility for letting other

kids pick on him.)... he could be angry that you don't believe him

anyway, therefore the violence you mentioned. I mean, it can be really

upsetting to not be believed - weirdly enough, even if he's lying.

Because he'd figure he's convincing enough, so you just must be

'against' him.

A broken anything is a very serious matter. I'd whip my kid right out

of that class no matter whose fault it was. And I've had to take my

kids out of a class before, and, looking back on it, I and my husband

are completely glad that I did. And we didn't lie to our children about

why they were taken out - we just left some things out. So, your son

doesn't have to think that he's taken out because of being picked on or

because HE doesn't want to be there. Let him think it's some other

reason, without exactly lying.

Sharon McAleese wrote:

Yes I really didn't want to pull him out of school for the

reason that he would think that anything he didn't want to do after

that he could easily get out of by telling me people are picking on

him. He does not have an IEP or any special education he is gifted

actually so everyone expects so much from him. The teacher has even

suggested bumpinghe f him up a grade because the work is boring him. I

don't want to do that because if he can't deal with 4 year olds how

would he be with 6 year olds? I gave the teacher a copy of his

assessment report with instructions for the teacher from the

therapist. I even asked the teacher if she could assign 2 kids to take

care of and play with at recess but she said he was fine and that

wasn't neccessary. I think she has probably dealt with Aspies before

and thinks us parents are overbearing and overprotective that is how

she is coming off to me.

Sharon

From:

MacAllister <smacalli@...>

Subject: Re: ( ) I think my son's teacher is lying to me

Received: Wednesday, November 19, 2008, 10:13 AM

Great response, Vickie. Spot on, in my opinion!

To 's mom...hang in there. If you can go up to the

school today and talk to the teacher/special ed dept/principal.

...somebody. ..and get a good response, I'd leave him in class. You

don't want him to think if things get bad, he doesn't have to go to

school. That could open up a whole new can of worms. That being said,

if this doesn't get resolved quickly enough, and to your satisfaction,

I'd understand pulling him out for a couple of days.

You didn't say in your email, but does your child have

an IEP in place? Does he qualify for special education or a 504? Are

there any accommodations listed for your son and if so, are they being

followed? Knowing the answers to these questions can help us provide

more assistance.

Good luck!

From:

Vickie Boehnlein <baneline1msn (DOT) com>

To:

Sent:

Wednesday, November 19, 2008 8:56:00 AM

Subject: Re:

( ) I think my son's teacher is lying to me

I think that the "truth" is probably somewhere in the

middle of all