Re: Low point

[Guest guest]

and all who love him have my saddest sympathies.

Kate Gladstone

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Kate. I appreciate your support.

Raven

>

> and all who love him have my saddest sympathies.

>

>

> Kate Gladstone

>

[Guest guest]

I am so sorry you are feeling overwhelmed.

I am hoping you treat yourself to a bath and relax and get some rest.

lisa_wench_2000 wrote:

> Following on from the sleep issue, I seem to be having one of

those

> days when everythiing is just too much. I'm very over-tired,

> over-emotional, and feeling very low. I've given my son melatonin for

> the first time tonight - he went to sleep by 9.30pm, which is unheard

> of - so of course now I'm worrying that I've given him too much (which

> I haven't, 3mg, he's nearly six years old), and anxious about it.

> Sorry to dump all this stuff here - we've had real money difficulties

> that last few months with just my income - my partner is now in

> full-time work and gets paid on friday, but it's been really tough and

> I only work part-time so all my money has just gone on food each week.

> Everything just feels so hard.

> My little one is really struggling at school, especially socially - my

> heart just breaks for him every day when he comes out of school and

> says that no-one wanted to play with him. No-one wants to be his

> partner in PE, because he has very little hand-eye coordination. He

> growls and hisses at other kids. He cries when I try and get him to

> do his homework. His self-esteem is so low because he finds most

> things harder than everyone else. I wish I could make everything okay

> for him.

> Sorry to offload, I've just had enough for today.

>

[Guest guest]

I agree with you 100%! And, I sure need to off-load at times. And, this group is so wonderful...I have learned so much that has help me understand him as well as cope with him. You are right...my son tries to get away with things because of his dX. But, I feel the same...he needs to learn that he can not use it as excuse. It amazes me that our AS children all act similiar in ways...sometimes when I read a posting...I think...what a minute that is but I didn't say to anyone that had those feelings or fears or acted that way! It truly amazes me! What we can learn from this!

Thanks everyone!

Jan

Janice Rushen

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From: Miriam <callis4773@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Low point Date: Wednesday, June 25, 2008, 11:11 AM

Oh, I think offloading is what this group is all about. We need a place to go when we feel bad. How old is your little boy? We've been fortunate that (age 11) has had a lot of social skill coaching at school. It really helps. We also educate the kids around him. There is a great video called Intricate Minds 2: Understanding Classmates with Asperger Syndrome. We've used this as well as Intricate Minds 3 which doesn't specify a particular disability.My son knew his diagnosis by age 7. He saw me checking out asperger syndrome on the internet and said, "I DO NOT HAVE ASPERGER SYNDROME!" At the time he was really enjoying his new school where there was a centralized social skills classroom in which he spent most of his time. I told him, without really thinking, "If you didn't have asperger syndrome you couldn't be in that classroom." He immediately started crying very hard. I asked him

what was wrong and he said, "I don't want to leave my school!!" He'd been throug pure hell at a number of other schools so it says a lot that he would cry about leaving this one. I told, "Well, you don't have to believe you have asperger syndrome, but the school needs to use those words so they know how to teach you." Then I asked him how he felt about that and he said he felt fine and was never actually sad about the diagnosis. Once I explained to him that asperger syndrome was just a way of describing a set of things he was good at and things he wasn't as good at and I told him about a lot of good things like his math skills and reading skills he was happy with it. Sometimes now he tries to use it as an excuse for bad behavior but he never gets away with that. I always tell him, "That's an explanation but it's not an excuse. Knowing you have Asperger Syndrome just helps us know how to help you

improve your behavior." Since that time 's social skills have increased tremendously. He is now able to make and keep friends! I think it really happened in about 4th grade. I mean it started before that but he really seemed to just take off in 4th grade. He's still awkward, but the kids around him seem to get that if they give him a bit of time he's worth having as a friend. So it can happen. Even though we moved to another state in October, 's social skills have been good enough to help him make friends here where nobody knew him before.I don't know how to help other people get their kids there. has a lot of enthusiasm for being around other people even though he's awkward. He wants to have friends and with lots of coaching it seems he's succeeded in having them.There may be some state agencies in your area that can help you find services and therapy at low or no cost. It

depends on the state you're in. You can check local government offices, easter seals and asperger support groups. There may be a local asperger support group. People in the local groups are often the best source of information now how to get help for your child. Having people around to support you also helps you feel better. I know for me the support makes me a better mom. I feel like after venting to people who understand that I can have more patience with and can think more clearly. If you tell me of a city near you where you'd be willing to drive or even your state I can help you find support groups in your area.Miriam>> Following on from the sleep issue, I seem to be having one of those>

days when everythiing is just too much. I'm very over-tired,> over-emotional, and feeling very low. I've given my son melatonin for> the first time tonight - he went to sleep by 9.30pm, which is unheard> of - so of course now I'm worrying that I've given him too much (which> I haven't, 3mg, he's nearly six years old), and anxious about it. > > Sorry to dump all this stuff here - we've had real money difficulties> that last few months with just my income - my partner is now in> full-time work and gets paid on friday, but it's been really tough and> I only work part-time so all my money has just gone on food each week.> Everything just feels so hard. > > My little one is really struggling at school, especially socially - my> heart just breaks for him every day when he comes out of school and> says that no-one wanted to play with

him. No-one wants to be his> partner in PE, because he has very little hand-eye coordination. He> growls and hisses at other kids. He cries when I try and get him to> do his homework. His self-esteem is so low because he finds most> things harder than everyone else. I wish I could make everything okay> for him.> > Sorry to offload, I've just had enough for today.>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,I was exactly in your son's spot in middle school. No hand-eye coordination, hated teen sports, no one would pick me for teams and I would flit from one clique to another trying to figure out what people were talking about and they'd look me up and down and roll their eyes. I'd sit on the bench reading a grammar textbook just to give myself something to do and somewhere to 'be.' Finally at age 11 I found out that a nearby Rec Center was offering Tae Kwon Do lessons. I went there after school. There was another girl my age in the class and she came and was very forward about getting to know what stuff I liked. I told her I liked Elfquest comic books (something no one at my school knew about or liked either) and it turned out she really did too. Long story short, we've

been best friends for 24 years, give or take the years she was placed in a special school during high school b/c her parents didn't know what was the matter with her. Turned out she was gifted, strong-willed but narcoleptic. She falls asleep. But then she finished high school at that school and married into a family of scifi/fantasy writers some of whose kids live along 'the spectrum' and she has 3 brilliant and creative children that are home-schooled.Hm..wow....(wake up sensation of talking too much) I don't mean to turn every post to be all about me....Eek. I hope this is helpful and doesn't induce cringes re: how many times I'm mentioning scifi/fantasy. Hrm. [/self-consiousness]I guess the point I was making went adrift....Suffice it to say, let your son explore different kinds of sports, and meet other kids outside of his school. You never know....

[Guest guest]

Don't apologize for writing and telling us it's been a rotten time lately. That's what we are here for! Sometimes, yelling and getting it off your chest is a good thing!

I'm glad he got to sleep at a decent time and now you can try to keep at that! Maybe with homework - try to break it up into smaller chunks and give him rewards for each section he does? Maybe stickers, or extra tv or game time or even time with you or bedtime stories? You can probably think of things he would like that don't cost much or anything but he will still like it.

RoxannaAutism Happens

( ) Low point

Following on from the sleep issue, I seem to be having one of thosedays when everythiing is just too much. I'm very over-tired,over-emotional, and feeling very low. I've given my son melatonin forthe first time tonight - he went to sleep by 9.30pm, which is unheardof - so of course now I'm worrying that I've given him too much (whichI haven't, 3mg, he's nearly six years old), and anxious about it. Sorry to dump all this stuff here - we've had real money difficultiesthat last few months with just my income - my partner is now infull-time work and gets paid on friday, but it's been really tough andI only work part-time so all my money has just gone on food each week.Everything just feels so hard. My little one is really struggling at school, especially socially - myheart just breaks for him every day when he comes out of school andsays that no-one wanted to play with him. No-one wants to be hispartner in PE, because he has very little hand-eye coordination. Hegrowls and hisses at other kids. He cries when I try and get him todo his homework. His self-esteem is so low because he finds mostthings harder than everyone else. I wish I could make everything okayfor him.Sorry to offload, I've just had enough for today.

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG. Version: 8.0.101 / Virus Database: 270.4.1/1518 - Release Date: 6/25/2008 9:46 AM

[Guest guest]

, I really like your posts, you bring a different perspective.

Don't hesitate to share your experiences with the group.

Sue in TN

>

> Hi ,

>

> I was exactly in your son's spot in middle school. No hand-eye

coordination, hated teen sports, no one would pick me for teams and I

would flit from one clique to another trying to figure out what

people were talking about and they'd look me up and down and roll

their eyes. I'd sit on the bench reading a grammar textbook just to

give myself something to do and somewhere to 'be.'

>

> Finally at age 11 I found out that a nearby Rec Center was offering

Tae Kwon Do lessons. I went there after school. There was another

girl my age in the class and she came and was very forward about

getting to know what stuff I liked. I told her I liked Elfquest comic

books (something no one at my school knew about or liked either) and

it turned out she really did too. Long story short, we've been best

friends for 24 years, give or take the years she was placed in a

special school during high school b/c her parents didn't know what

was the matter with her. Turned out she was gifted, strong-willed but

narcoleptic. She falls asleep. But then she finished high school at

that school and married into a family of scifi/fantasy writers some

of whose kids live along 'the spectrum' and she has 3 brilliant and

creative children that are home-schooled.

>

> Hm..wow....(wake up sensation of talking too much) I don't mean to

turn every post to be all about me....Eek. I hope this is helpful

and doesn't induce cringes re: how many times I'm mentioning

scifi/fantasy. Hrm. [/self-consiousness]

>

> I guess the point I was making went adrift....Suffice it to say,

let your son explore different kinds of sports, and meet other kids

outside of his school. You never know....

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Miriam, thanks so much for your reply. is 5 - he knows

he's got Apspergers, but is quite delighted... I put it in a

'different' light and stressed the positives, as well as saying there

are some things that will be harder but I'll help him as much as I can

to learn how to cope with these things. He too uses it as an excuse

sometimes, saying that the Aspergers made him do it, but we're getting

past that now .

I'm in the UK... we have a fantastic organisation called the National

Autistic Society and they have various helplines. There is also a

lovely mum at my son's school who has an older teenager with AS -

she's been very helpful.

I guess it's just a difficult time right now - but it will pass. I'm

feeling better after some sleep last night .

x

> >

> > Following on from the sleep issue, I seem to be having one of those

> > days when everythiing is just too much. I'm very over-tired,

> > over-emotional, and feeling very low. I've given my son melatonin

> for

> > the first time tonight - he went to sleep by 9.30pm, which is

> unheard

> > of - so of course now I'm worrying that I've given him too much

> (which

> > I haven't, 3mg, he's nearly six years old), and anxious about it.

> >

> > Sorry to dump all this stuff here - we've had real money

> difficulties

> > that last few months with just my income - my partner is now in

> > full-time work and gets paid on friday, but it's been really tough

> and

> > I only work part-time so all my money has just gone on food each

> week.

> > Everything just feels so hard.

> >

> > My little one is really struggling at school, especially socially -

> my

> > heart just breaks for him every day when he comes out of school and

> > says that no-one wanted to play with him. No-one wants to be his

> > partner in PE, because he has very little hand-eye coordination. He

> > growls and hisses at other kids. He cries when I try and get him to

> > do his homework. His self-esteem is so low because he finds most

> > things harder than everyone else. I wish I could make everything

> okay

> > for him.

> >

> > Sorry to offload, I've just had enough for today.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Jan

> >

> > Following on from the sleep issue, I seem to be having one of those

> > days when everythiing is just too much. I'm very over-tired,

> > over-emotional, and feeling very low. I've given my son melatonin

> for

> > the first time tonight - he went to sleep by 9.30pm, which is

> unheard

> > of - so of course now I'm worrying that I've given him too much

> (which

> > I haven't, 3mg, he's nearly six years old), and anxious about it.

> >

> > Sorry to dump all this stuff here - we've had real money

> difficulties

> > that last few months with just my income - my partner is now in

> > full-time work and gets paid on friday, but it's been really tough

> and

> > I only work part-time so all my money has just gone on food each

> week.

> > Everything just feels so hard.

> >

> > My little one is really struggling at school, especially socially -

> my

> > heart just breaks for him every day when he comes out of school and

> > says that no-one wanted to play with him. No-one wants to be his

> > partner in PE, because he has very little hand-eye coordination. He

> > growls and hisses at other kids. He cries when I try and get him to

> > do his homework. His self-esteem is so low because he finds most

> > things harder than everyone else. I wish I could make everything

> okay

> > for him.

> >

> > Sorry to offload, I've just had enough for today.

> >

>