Re: Are AS kids at a greater risk of being vicitms?

December 1, 2008

I would imagine that it varies from kid to kid. My son is not good

at lying. He will lie but then if pushed even a little he will admit

the truth. He is more likely to give up the secret than to take the

blame because he is trying to be cool so he will talk about things

that are suppose to be a secret in front of parents or teachers.

Vickie

>

> I adopted a foster child at 10 years old. He is now 11. It seems

he

> can be victimized by others very easily. He has even taken the

blame

> for things he did not do.

>

> Is this a trait among AS...or is this his own personality and

perhaps

> residual effects for being a foster child for the first 10 years of

> his life? Anyone have similar experience or knowledge regarding

this?

>

> Thanks, Sandy.

>

December 1, 2008

My son gives his things away as well...We have been working on that for about a year now. Kids at school bully him and others use him like he's their little "toadie." A term i got from A Christmas Story ..you know the bully's sidekick that will do anything the bully want. Also, my son may not even have to do it...he can be talked into or coerced into saying he did. This is so frustrating. I almost feel like I'm setting him up for disaster by sending him to public school. All the comments I've read could easily be my son's stories. It's amazing.

From: Vickie Boehnlein <baneline1msn (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Re: Are AS kids at a greater risk of being vicitms? Date: Monday, December 1, 2008, 4:25 PM

I would imagine that it varies from kid to kid. My son is not good at lying. He will lie but then if pushed even a little he will admit the truth. He is more likely to give up the secret than to take the blame because he is trying to be cool so he will talk about things that are suppose to be a secret in front of parents or teachers.Vickie>> I adopted a foster child at 10 years old. He is now 11. It seems he> can be victimized by others very easily. He has even taken the blame> for things he did not do.> > Is this a trait among AS...or is this his own personality and perhaps> residual effects for being a foster child for the first 10 years of> his life? Anyone have similar experience or

knowledge regarding this?> > Thanks, Sandy.>

December 1, 2008

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

( ) Re: Are AS kids at a greater risk of being vicitms?

I would imagine that it varies from kid to kid. My son is not good at lying. He will lie but then if pushed even a little he will admit the truth. He is more likely to give up the secret than to take the blame because he is trying to be cool so he will talk about things that are suppose to be a secret in front of parents or teachers.Vickie>> I adopted a foster child at 10 years old. He is now 11. It seems he> can be victimized by others very easily. He has even taken the blame> for things he did not do.> > Is this a trait among AS...or is this his own personality and perhaps> residual effects for being a foster child for the first 10 years of> his life? Anyone have similar experience or knowledge regarding this?> > Thanks, Sandy.>

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December 2, 2008

Yeah you are right...all kids lie....NT's are just better at it than our kids. My son lies all the time too but if you really push him ...he will tell the truth....like when he was so mad...he bent my gold bracelet and broke it... He kept telling me he didn't do it. Then he said it fell. His mobile therpist didn't let up and he finally told the truth. The other day I said ..did you clean your room? He said yes....and after a few minutes ...he told the truth..he didn't. I knew he didn't.

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: Patti Journey <pjpoo78363@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Are AS kids at a greater risk of being vicitms? Date: Monday, December 1, 2008, 4:50 PM

My son used to always be blamed at school for starting things, he would never speak up to defend himself, it was like he didn't know that was important to do. And then when we talked to him and told him he should tell the truth they wouldn't believe him. Maybe it's just easier for them to not speak up, the other kids are better liars and now the ropes better. My son does lie, but usually always tells on himself later, it's like he can't be dishonest. PJ

From: Vickie Boehnlein <baneline1msn (DOT) com> Sent: Monday, December 1, 2008 3:25:19 PMSubject: ( ) Re: Are AS kids at a greater risk of being vicitms?

I would imagine that it varies from kid to kid. My son is not good at lying. He will lie but then if pushed even a little he will admit the truth. He is more likely to give up the secret than to take the blame because he is trying to be cool so he will talk about things that are suppose to be a secret in front of parents or teachers.Vickie>> I adopted a foster child at 10 years old. He is now 11. It seems he> can be victimized by others very easily. He has even taken the blame> for things he did not do.> > Is this a trait among AS...or is this his own personality and perhaps> residual effects for being a foster child for the first 10 years of> his life? Anyone have similar experience or

knowledge regarding this?> > Thanks, Sandy.>

December 2, 2008

>

> I hope maybe after a while he will get it...we talk about it and go

over it and over it.ï¿½

He will, Jan. My AS son is 14 now, and he keeps getting better and

better. The worst for him was 5th/6th grade. I think a lot of the

problem has to do with their poor ability to " read " people and

situations. So, just keep sending him to those social skills training

groups and pushing the school to keep working on this stuff. He'll

get there.

Ruth

December 3, 2008

You know my son is like that too....the two neighbor boys hang out up at Shane's...my son is not allowed up there....or Brad will sleep at shane's and then they will come here for an hour and then leave...or Brad will sleep here and then say I have to go....and goes up to shanes....and none of this bothers my son! OMG....

Our kids get immune to it...after a while it just doesn't bother them or they just don't get it like the way we do...I think we are more hurt by it all then them. My son says he likes being by himself...he said he was Emo....(a cutter)...

This life is so sad..i gotta go b4 I start crying..it is a bad night!

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: MacAllister <smacalli@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Are AS kids at a greater risk of being vicitms? Date: Wednesday, December 3, 2008, 3:49 PM

Bless his heart and your heart too. I know this is so hard to hear. My son has learned most social lessons the hard way too, unfortunately. But you know what? Even though this is not how we want our kids to learn, this might be enough to help him stop the nose issue in the future. When I was younger, I only learned the hard way. Determined, stubborn, sure-of-myself. ..often got me into trouble and I had to figure it out after falling on my face. Everyone yelling at me to pick door #1? I'd pick door #2. Want me to turn left? I'd turn right. Eventually I figured out the right/safe way. I still make mistakes, but I don't have to learn the hard way anymore. And now my determination, stubborness, and confidence are focused in the right direction.

I'm saying all of this because some people (Aspergers or not) just have to learn the hard way. It's especially hard to watch our kids have to learn this way b/c they are oftentimes more immature and vulnerable than their peers so it's painful to see. Being a parent is like walking around with your heart outside of your body, for the world to take a stab at it. It's hard. Just hang in there!

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: Bobbie <riveryak2003> Sent: Wednesday, December 3, 2008 10:02:30 AMSubject: ( ) Re: Are AS kids at a greater risk of being vicitms?

Last night some older kids were talking to my son...in not the best way. Did not hit me until later that they were being sarcastic.

It upset me, I asked him what they were talking about...apparently my son had picked his nose (a habit we are trying to break)

Tears in my eyes, he knew I was upset...he said to meMom, don't let it bother you. I've been bullied for years and I've learned to get over it..you should too Mom.

Out of the mouths of babes...made me sadder though.

Love this kid..he is soo amazing each and every daysmiles all

Bobbiehttp://oneyeartohap py.blogspot. com/Making myself stay positive for a year, jump in

December 3, 2008