Re: My little girl/long long long...

January 19, 2009

What are the 2e requirements for schools? I had basically the same experience as you Roxanna, now I have an IEP Friday to fight for keeping him at home still/independent studies where he is doing phenomenal. Is there some 2 e literature I can nicely hold over their heads? Any links?

Thanks!!!

Debra Balke

Re: ( ) My little girl

>> Hi ,> I have a 12 yo ds who is also 2E (hfa, gifted, hyperlexic). Welcometo the group!Hey Roxanna. Would you mind sharing how they have worked with your12yo 2E son at school? They kicked my now 14yo out of all the giftedprograms between 5th and 7th grade. He had been identified in all 4subject areas. They put a lot of work into documenting his "lack ofcompliance". At the time I didn't have an official dx, so therewasn't much I could say. Is your son doing okay? Our gifted programseems to be aimed more at kids that have advanced executivefunctioning rather than kids with high intellect with differentlearning needs. I argue with myself whether I should try to get himback into the advanced classes with support, now that we have a dx. I'm honestly about to give up on school. They just don't get it and Idon't know what else I can do to make them get it without an attorneyor good advocate, which I can't afford. I haven't heard the latestfrom their most recent 504 observation/evaluation, but I'm pretty sureit is just more effort at documenting how my son's problems are nottheir responsibility somehow. Otherwise they'd be taking theevaluation results and seeing how they could make them work. Theclosest they've done to that is taking the recommendations andsimplifying them down to the point where they aren't the samerecommendations. OK, now I'm venting. But, I really would be curioushow they are doing your son's advanced classes and how he is doing.Ruth

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January 19, 2009

Thank you Roxanna!! You are my guidepost in all of this. You have done it, survived it, are still doing it. Since my son is 13, there aren't a lot of folks "ahead" of me here locally to seek guidance from. And, of the ones that are older, they pulled their kids out and gave up on the schools long ago.

I am hoping that they will just continue on for another year. It is by far the least money per year they have ever spent on him, and it is clearly working the best. So, common sense would dictate that they will continue along with this plan, but our arrangement would need to be another settlement agreement, not IEP, so there is that hitch. And, since when did common sense come into play when SPED is concerned. But, I am hoping to overwhelm them with the obvious and hopefully it won't be an issue. But, anything else I can have in my back pocket is always useful. Wish me luck!

My sons needs have always been major in school but my daughters are minimal. We joke that with my daughter we should ask for a 504 plan to be written up that says "leave her the hell alone."

After the "help" my son got, we really don't want any more "help"...... please no!.......no more help!!!!...

Debbie Balke

Re: ( ) My little girl

>> Hi ,> I have a 12 yo ds who is also 2E (hfa, gifted, hyperlexic). Welcometo the group!Hey Roxanna. Would you mind sharing how they have worked with your12yo 2E son at school? They kicked my now 14yo out of all the giftedprograms between 5th and 7th grade. He had been identified in all 4subject areas. They put a lot of work into documenting his "lack ofcompliance". At the time I didn't have an official dx, so therewasn't much I could say. Is your son doing okay? Our gifted programseems to be aimed more at kids that have advanced executivefunctioning rather than kids with high intellect with differentlearning needs. I argue with myself whether I should try to get himback into the advanced classes with support, now that we have a dx. I'm honestly about to give up on school. They just don't get it and Idon't know what else I can do to make them get it without an attorneyor good advocate, which I can't afford. I haven't heard the latestfrom their most recent 504 observation/evaluation, but I'm pretty sureit is just more effort at documenting how my son's problems are nottheir responsibility somehow. Otherwise they'd be taking theevaluation results and seeing how they could make them work. Theclosest they've done to that is taking the recommendations andsimplifying them down to the point where they aren't the samerecommendations. OK, now I'm venting. But, I really would be curioushow they are doing your son's advanced classes and how he is doing.Ruth

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January 19, 2009

My ds does not work on his own at all. He still requires a lot of guidance. I basically am going through the 7th grade with him. We do have some structure due to the e-schooling but we have enough leeway where we can work with it.

I think that is the part I don't like - that I am having to do so much work with this. I am reading things to him, writing and typing things for him. When he had to read a novel for LA, I read it to him for an hour each night until it was done. He has hyperlexia and reads fabulously! But he often doesn't remember what he reads. So guess who was the "accommodation" for that? me. I organize his classes for him every week and then every day I print up his daily list of work to do. I wish I could just say, "Here" and walk away and he would do his work each day. But noooooo. It does not work like that. He is far from being independent at this point. His special needs did not go away when he came home to learn. Instead, I became his aide/intervention specialist.

Also, he has the attention span of a gnat. So I am constantly having to redirect him back to his work. I am always saying, "Don't eat your fingers" and "Stop flapping and listen" He is constantly moving and gnawing on things and wiggling and jumping. If he isn't, then he is falling asleep. So trying to get his attention and keep it long enough to teach is often taking my energy for the day. It is definitely not something I would volunteer to do. And yet, here I am....lol...

The thing is - he was the same kid before as he is now only at school, they didn't have a "me" there to keep him going. If he fell asleep, that was that. If he didn't catch a concept, nobody noticed. If he "refused" to do something, nobody took the time to figure out why.

So at least now, I am that person. Even with his accommodations/modifications per the IEP, who was doing it? Half the time, nobody was bothering. But now it's me in charge of it and I can modify and eliminate busy work as we go along and as I see fit. If he is lost, I figure out where and explain it. If he can't do it, I figure out why. If he is falling asleep, I determine whether to make him go lay down for a nap or get him to do something active so he wakes up. But ultimately, class doesn't go on without him. It waits until he's ready to learn. That part works well for him.

He definitely does not work on his own and he still doesn't. This is not to say we don't all wish he would. <g> But so far, it isn't happening. This whole thing - his education - takes a huge chunk of my energy and my day. I wish I could say he worked on his own. Wouldn't that be nice! <GG>

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

Re: ( ) My little girl/long long long...

>> ohhhh, you don't want to hear the story. lol. It is ugly and has asad ending. <g>> Well, Roxanna, all I can say is that you made a great save. You'redoing good. I have to admit that I wish I had the option of stayinghome and doing something similar. My son doesn't work on his own, andI think him being at home with no structure would be as bad as school.Just a different poison. Thanks for sharing; I enjoyed reading it. I don't meet many other parents of 2E kids, especially with the samechallenges.Ruth

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January 20, 2009

>

> My ds does not work on his own at all. He still requires a lot of

guidance. I basically am going through the 7th grade with him. We

do have some structure due to the e-schooling but we have enough

leeway where we can work with it.

I didn't say what I meant to say very well. I figured your son didn't

work on his own, being HFA/Asperger just like my son , and I figured

it is a lot of work. What I actually was thinking about was that

there is no way we could do that with me working full-time with a long

commute to boot. I'm just saying--knowing what an incredible

commitment it is--I would do it in a heartbeat to get my son through

school reasonably close to his potential. I think you are doing an

wonderful thing for your son.

Ruth

January 21, 2009

Oh! That is nice of you to say! Yes, it is a LOT of work. I don't know if I could manage it and have an outside full time job with a commute as well. I think I would just break into pieces if so! I thought you meant he was working on his own when you wrote that and boy, do I wish! <GG>

This week, the eschool is having "Career week." I must admit it is more like "hell week" to me. Take a literal thinking kid and have him spend a week in introspection and plan things for his future and list short term and long term goals and "imagine" and...ugh ugh ugh. I wish we had done this when I was in school, lol. But it is definitely a really tough subject for my ds. I keep saying, "You don't have to have a "right" answer - you can just guess or give an answer and it doesn't have to be "THE" answer or the correct answer...." well, it's downhill from there. lol.

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

Re: ( ) My little girl/long long long...

>> My ds does not work on his own at all. He still requires a lot ofguidance. I basically am going through the 7th grade with him. Wedo have some structure due to the e-schooling but we have enoughleeway where we can work with it. I didn't say what I meant to say very well. I figured your son didn'twork on his own, being HFA/Asperger just like my son , and I figuredit is a lot of work. What I actually was thinking about was thatthere is no way we could do that with me working full-time with a longcommute to boot. I'm just saying--knowing what an incrediblecommitment it is--I would do it in a heartbeat to get my son throughschool reasonably close to his potential. I think you are doing anwonderful thing for your son. Ruth

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January 21, 2009

I don't know your details but remember, you can write the IEP to reflect anything - any specific placement, any plan, any type of specific learning required. My ds was given 10 hours of 1-1 for several years, agreed to in mediation, and it was all placed in the IEP. My other ds had services outside of school for 2 years - tutoring at the library. All done with the IEP, no problem. NOt sure if that helps. I just hate to think you might need to get lawyers involved, especially if you and the school agree on what to do.

I know what you mean by the "leave him/her the hell alone." So often they went to help my older ds and it was such a mess. I used to feel so defeated in that because I would fight for services not yet at the school, they'd finally agree (or cave under pressure) and then I'd think - yeah! whew! All done! Then later, I would find out or realize, they were so clueless and implementing what we agreed to in such a bad way...ugh. BTDT. I do hope your meeting goes well!

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

Re: ( ) My little girl

>> Hi ,> I have a 12 yo ds who is also 2E (hfa, gifted, hyperlexic). Welcometo the group!Hey Roxanna. Would you mind sharing how they have worked with your12yo 2E son at school? They kicked my now 14yo out of all the giftedprograms between 5th and 7th grade. He had been identified in all 4subject areas. They put a lot of work into documenting his "lack ofcompliance". At the time I didn't have an official dx, so therewasn't much I could say. Is your son doing okay? Our gifted programseems to be aimed more at kids that have advanced executivefunctioning rather than kids with high intellect with differentlearning needs. I argue with myself whether I should try to get himback into the advanced classes with support, now that we have a dx. I'm honestly about to give up on school. They just don't get it and Idon't know what else I can do to make them get it without an attorneyor good advocate, which I can't afford. I haven't heard the latestfrom their most recent 504 observation/evaluation, but I'm pretty sureit is just more effort at documenting how my son's problems are nottheir responsibility somehow. Otherwise they'd be taking theevaluation results and seeing how they could make them work. Theclosest they've done to that is taking the recommendations andsimplifying them down to the point where they aren't the samerecommendations. OK, now I'm venting. But, I really would be curioushow they are doing your son's advanced classes and how he is doing.Ruth

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January 21, 2009

Roxanna, I just love your posts, always make me laugh!

This is something that the ARC of Tennessee did with DS, also totally

literal to work with, for him to " visualize: a future. Here's a link:

http://www.thearctn.org/Assets/docs/PATH.pdf but it's not a good

explanation.

Maybe this will help in your career planning with him. When they

worked with DS, he was 23. Two people from ARC came with an 8 ft roll

of paper. At the far end they asked him to try and picture himself in

the future. The did help and encourage...DS wanted a family with a

dog, ahhhh and a big screen TV! He saw himself with his own

restaurant. They encourage any kind of dreams, even if child says

professional baseball player. Using stick figures and basic sketches

they labeled these. Then at the opposite end they did same pics of

where he was now and then the middle detailed out the steps. For the

PATH, they encouraged us to invite friends and family to attend and

each person tells how they might help DS in attaining his goals.

It sounds so simplistic, but they use it with people of ALL IQ levels,

low to high. FOr our son, he put it up on the wall in his room to

look at and for him, I think it was really good to set up some

concrete goals...even if he goes in another direction.

I understand and sympathize trying to motivate and educate!

Sue in TN

> >

> > My ds does not work on his own at all. He still requires a lot of

> guidance. I basically am going through the 7th grade with him. We

> do have some structure due to the e-schooling but we have enough

> leeway where we can work with it.

>

> I didn't say what I meant to say very well. I figured your son didn't

> work on his own, being HFA/Asperger just like my son , and I figured

> it is a lot of work. What I actually was thinking about was that

> there is no way we could do that with me working full-time with a long

> commute to boot. I'm just saying--knowing what an incredible

> commitment it is--I would do it in a heartbeat to get my son through

> school reasonably close to his potential. I think you are doing an

> wonderful thing for your son.

>

> Ruth

>

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

> No virus found in this incoming message.

> Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com

> Version: 8.0.176 / Virus Database: 270.10.10/1905 - Release Date:

1/20/2009 2:34 PM

>

January 21, 2009

So far we have fortunately avoided the lawyers altogether. But, still needing a settlement agreement because of the structure of the agreement is not allowed by the IEP..... Wish me luck Friday. Hopefully it will go smoothly. If not, I know how to deal with it.... I just don't want to have to go through it again....

Re: ( ) My little girl

>> Hi ,> I have a 12 yo ds who is also 2E (hfa, gifted, hyperlexic). Welcometo the group!Hey Roxanna. Would you mind sharing how they have worked with your12yo 2E son at school? They kicked my now 14yo out of all the giftedprograms between 5th and 7th grade. He had been identified in all 4subject areas. They put a lot of work into documenting his "lack ofcompliance". At the time I didn't have an official dx, so therewasn't much I could say. Is your son doing okay? Our gifted programseems to be aimed more at kids that have advanced executivefunctioning rather than kids with high intellect with differentlearning needs. I argue with myself whether I should try to get himback into the advanced classes with support, now that we have a dx. I'm honestly about to give up on school. They just don't get it and Idon't know what else I can do to make them get it without an attorneyor good advocate, which I can't afford. I haven't heard the latestfrom their most recent 504 observation/evaluation, but I'm pretty sureit is just more effort at documenting how my son's problems are nottheir responsibility somehow. Otherwise they'd be taking theevaluation results and seeing how they could make them work. Theclosest they've done to that is taking the recommendations andsimplifying them down to the point where they aren't the samerecommendations. OK, now I'm venting. But, I really would be curioushow they are doing your son's advanced classes and how he is doing.Ruth

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.176 / Virus Database: 270.10.9/1902 - Release Date: 1/19/2009 9:37 AM

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