Re: Helping with socialization

[Guest guest]

Hi , I haven't been posting as much as I would like because my son has now shown me new things I have to focus (and learn) on. *smile*. I went through that at that age too. Only that my son was too aggressive when playing with other kids, acted inappropriately, and at a park - looked like he was causing a pre-K riot. LOL. At that time I spoke with his teacher which was really great with kids that play different. What I would offer if it might work with you is: if you are going to invite a friend over - (a child your son knows) is first, for a few days before the child comes over - let your son know/show him what to do or what is expected. I would say we are going to invite (friends name) over to play. go over a few things with your son to do. like - would you like to play outdoors ? would you like to play a board game? (mention 3 games for him to pick from) would you like to

do arts & crafts: list at least 3 choices on what to do: 1) paint - 2) build something - 3) play with play doe . but you pick the 3 choices for your son to pick from. Maybe you can mention if they would like to play with their toy cars and trucks. After you son picks something to do. then you, your son, and his sister can play first so you all can roll model what he will be doing when his friend comes over to play. My point of this is: Sometimes a child can be overwhelmed and doesn't know how to play or what to play and does nothing when with other kids. Maybe if your child has an idea (before your friend comes over) on what to do, he will feel more comfortable playing. I would also limit this to either 1/2 an hour or 1 hr. to keep this fun and the child can leave before they both get bored. Keep their play limited so they both would be excited for

the next play day. This worked great for my son before we went to the park. We had to first go over everything we can do at the park. then when we got to the park - my son had to first watch and talk about what everybody is doing, how they are playing. he first had to take notice. some kids were on the swings, some on the gym climbing, some running, sliding, etc... then I would ask him where he wanted to play first and explain to him no one is playing with sticks or throwing rocks or hitting each other. after we talked about it and went over everything, he was better accepted at the playground. How this was helpful. Best luck Rose <kmsmorris@...> wrote: Hi,I'm just wondering how everyone has helped or is helping their kids with socialization. My 4 yr old has always had problems with this but is improving. He is, of course, very social with his sister and asks her to play and does well with her (even though they fight a lot) but with other kids his age he doesn't really like to play with them.I know sometimes it's a sensory thing that keeps him from playing with them but I don't know how I can get this to improve. He really is a loner when it comes to socializing with kids his age or a little older. Any suggestions would be helpful. Thanks!

[Guest guest]

> I'm just wondering how everyone has helped or is helping their kids

> with socialization.

I feel like social skills training groups have helped more than

anything I have done myself at home. My 14yo son with AS seems to

learn such things better with a group than one-on-one with a therapist.

I think simply being there emotionally for our kids helps in the sense

it gives them more confidence and peace of mind. The more stressed

they are, the less they will expend the extra energy it takes for them

to socialize.

Ruth

[Guest guest]

I agree with Ruth regarding social training groups. We

found a fantastic organization that offers “social understanding classes”.

They are weekly one hour classes offered for a 12-week period three times a

year (fall and spring semesters plus a summer session). My son has been

doing these for several years and has benefitted tremendously. For these kids

they need to “work” on these skills with lots of repletion versus

just being told what to do. These classes are smaill – 4-6 –

and they also do a “outing” at least once during a session.

This may be go to a restaurant and order on their own and pay themselves

including how to figure out appropriate tip.

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of r_woman2

Sent: Monday, November 10, 2008 11:52 AM

Subject: ( ) Re: Helping with socialization

> I'm just wondering how everyone has helped or is helping their kids

> with socialization.

I feel like social skills training groups have helped more than

anything I have done myself at home. My 14yo son with AS seems to

learn such things better with a group than one-on-one with a therapist.

I think simply being there emotionally for our kids helps in the sense

it gives them more confidence and peace of mind. The more stressed

they are, the less they will expend the extra energy it takes for them

to socialize.

Ruth

[Guest guest]

Ruth/, thank you so much for this advice on social training groups. I'm going to look into this in my area. My son is 5 and his socialization although good is sometimes on his terms ie: sometimes to rough playing with other kids, gets way to close to them making them feel uncomfortable, and starts off engaged but often drifts off and starts to script or pace. As I wrote before, this inabiltiy to be engaged during play results in the other kids lack of interest to want to play with him.

This group is very inspiring. Thanks again!

From: <cindyelgamal@...> Sent: Monday, November 10, 2008 1:11:36 PMSubject: RE: ( ) Re: Helping with socialization

I agree with Ruth regarding social training groups. We found a fantastic organization that offers “social understanding classes”. They are weekly one hour classes offered for a 12-week period three times a year (fall and spring semesters plus a summer session). My son has been doing these for several years and has benefitted tremendously. For these kids they need to “work” on these skills with lots of repletion versus just being told what to do. These classes are smaill – 4-6 – and they also do a “outing” at least once during a session. This may be go to a restaurant and order on their own and pay themselves including how to figure out appropriate tip.

From: [mailto:AspergersSu pport@group s.com] On Behalf Of r_woman2Sent: Monday, November 10, 2008 11:52 AM Subject: ( ) Re: Helping with socialization

> I'm just wondering how everyone has helped or is helping their kids > with socialization. I feel like social skills training groups have helped more thananything I have done myself at home. My 14yo son with AS seems tolearn such things better with a group than one-on-one with a therapist.I think simply being there emotionally for our kids helps in the senseit gives them more confidence and peace of mind. The more stressedthey are, the less they will expend the extra energy it takes for themto socialize.Ruth

[Guest guest]

Thanks as well! I'm going to be looking for them in my area too.

My son is the opposite of most kids he's not aggressive towards

anyone other than his sister. He shys away from kids and would

rather play by himself. He does do a lot of ecolalia so kids have a

hard time understanding what he's talking about or why he's

repeating them. So I think finding a group like this would be

beneficial. Thanks again!

>

> > I'm just wondering how everyone has helped or is helping their

kids

> > with socialization.

>

> I feel like social skills training groups have helped more than

> anything I have done myself at home. My 14yo son with AS seems to

> learn such things better with a group than one-on-one with a

therapist..

>

> I think simply being there emotionally for our kids helps in the

sense

> it gives them more confidence and peace of mind. The more stressed

> they are, the less they will expend the extra energy it takes for

them

> to socialize.

>

> Ruth

>