Re: Violence, lying, discipline, sleep...

[Guest guest]

{{}} My kid is up during the night too. I get to sleep but it's not a solid sleep because my ds is making noise and then of course, he wants to chat with me sometimes throughout the night. Like the other night, he wakes me at 5 a.m. to ask if he can wake up his brother. These are the things that can make me go crazy. Fortunately, he doesn't destroy too much.

Your ds sounds very out of control. Have you discussed medication at all with the doctor? For sleep, we use "clonidine" and it works most of the time. Every so often, it stop working for a few nights and he readjusts or something. But then it works again and we are fine for a few more weeks. I highly recommend it if he is not sleeping every single night. It would be interesting to see what the sleep tech finds but I don't think it will be much help unless he has some kind of sleep disorder in addition to autism. My dh is a polysomnographer and he just says there is something about kids with autism and their sleep cycles that are way off. I would think it has to do with "self regulation" - you know, the ability to control ones inner workings. We seem to all mostly have things set - some better than others, of course. But with autism, seems like those controls can be so miswired or messed up. Both of my ds's have sleep problems. We started using clonidine when my now 20 yo was probably 3 or 4. He would be up all night long and I was so exhausted. But the clonidine worked for him for many years with no side effects.

Anyway, I doubt threatening him with the toys will work. He probably doesn't connect the dots that well. With my 12 yo ds (hfa), if I threaten him, he will have a meltdown immediately and obsess about it. It totally ruins the ability to hold a carrot over him because he makes himself nuts over what is going to happen. My older ds would shrug his shoulders and say, "so." It wasn't that he didn't care about his stuff. He just didn't care at that moment. He is kind of that way now at age 20. He only focuses on what he needs here and now. He is not a "future" planner in any way.

Anyway, sounds like you could use some help learning to set rules and boundaries and control your ds. You might try a book titled, "Magic 1-2-3" which teaches you how to set limits and enforce them. You also might try to come up with things that you can use besides his toys as leverage. Most of the time, it is better to think of rewards over punishment. So when he is behaving, praise and reward. do it a lot at first so he starts to realize that it pays to do good things. Of course, that always sounds good in theory, meanwhile the kid is tearing the house down, right? I don't know if you have behavior therapists where you are. Try to look up "ABA therapists" in your area and see what you can find. They would be helpful in helping you figure out ways to handle him that work plus they usually deal with kids who have autism.

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

( ) Violence, lying, discipline, sleep...

Hi allWe have finally got the written diagnosis of Asperger's and SensoryProcessing Disorder - hurrah! My ds is now 6, and is becomingincreasingly violent, lying all the time smashing things (literally),and still only sleeping 3 or 4 hours a night. We're waiting to seethe sleep clinic again, waiting for a second appointment with themental health team, waiting for a Statement of Educational needsassessment, and I can't cope much longer. The doctor has prescribedsleeping tablets for me because I simply am not functioning on 3 or 4hours, and I'm too anxious to go to sleep when ds finally does becausehe usually wakes and gets up to mischief again. My partner isdepressed (and undergoing therapy), I'm depressed (and onanti-depressants), I'm only able to work 3 hours a day so I can tryand catch up on sleep in the day time. It took 3 hours to get ds togo to school the other morning, and I was kicked and beaten in theprocess. Yesterday ds went out and smashed a load of cups in theyard. We have started taking away is toys and saying we will have tosell them to raise money to replace items he breaks. reasoning withhim doesn't work - he says he's so sorry, he will never do it again,he understands why we're sad and angry, and it makes no difference -he just does it again anyway. He lies about everything. He's out ofcontrol - but is so cold-bloodedly manipulative and so intelligent. He's still loving, and needs his cuddles - which he gets of course -but I'm starting to dread every day - the morning routines, the schoolpick up, and especially the nights. I am at a loss.Sorry to rant. I'm desperate.

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.0.237 / Virus Database: 270.10.23/1951 - Release Date: 02/13/09 06:51:00

[Guest guest]

Dear ,I fully understand how you feel. There were many times that I could not maintain myself awake while driving. The response to the behaviour is not easy , every AS kid is different and similar at the same time. I have concluded that structure is very important in AS children behaviour. The other factors are: environment and real intellectual challenge according to their ability. Agression comes usually when triggered by the environment and it escalates. It could be a reaction provoked by a teacher or classmate attitude. It can also comes from boredom. My AS daughter needs the intelectual challenge to overcome depression and anxiety. She is 18 now but I still remember when everything started to emerge at the time she was 6. _I made the mistake to keep her in the public school system until she was almost 12, until the point that she could not longer function, despite of her high intellectual ability. Then the only way was a residential treatment place where she could recover from the damage. After that I found a small private school where she finished HS. It gets easier but the big issues are still around. AS kids can go to college and perform very well but it is hard to manage the emotional side. Your son is 6, you have to be extremely patient and vigilant to protect him from ignorant and uncaring teachers. Read and research the condition as much as you can. Usually giftedness and AS go together. Talk to the teacher on a regular basis and make them understand that your child needs a different method to learn (he may be visual), the sensory aspect is also important to prevent anger. Good luck,Ana Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeedFrom: "lisa_wench_2000" Date: Fri, 13 Feb 2009 10:19:23 -0000< >Subject: ( ) Violence, lying, discipline, sleep... Hi all We have finally got the written diagnosis of Asperger's and Sensory Processing Disorder - hurrah! My ds is now 6, and is becoming increasingly violent, lying all the time smashing things (literally), and still only sleeping 3 or 4 hours a night. We're waiting to see the sleep clinic again, waiting for a second appointment with the mental health team, waiting for a Statement of Educational needs assessment, and I can't cope much longer. The doctor has prescribed sleeping tablets for me because I simply am not functioning on 3 or 4 hours, and I'm too anxious to go to sleep when ds finally does because he usually wakes and gets up to mischief again. My partner is depressed (and undergoing therapy), I'm depressed (and on anti-depressants), I'm only able to work 3 hours a day so I can try and catch up on sleep in the day time. It took 3 hours to get ds to go to school the other morning, and I was kicked and beaten in the process. Yesterday ds went out and smashed a load of cups in the yard. We have started taking away is toys and saying we will have to sell them to raise money to replace items he breaks. reasoning with him doesn't work - he says he's so sorry, he will never do it again, he understands why we're sad and angry, and it makes no difference - he just does it again anyway. He lies about everything. He's out of control - but is so cold-bloodedly manipulative and so intelligent. He's still loving, and needs his cuddles - which he gets of course - but I'm starting to dread every day - the morning routines, the school pick up, and especially the nights. I am at a loss. Sorry to rant. I'm desperate.

[Guest guest]

, I'm so sorry you're going through this! How is he when he gets

to school? Does he behave there? Have they done a functional

behavioral analysis. It would help to look at what leads up to these

problems and what the outcome is (consequences, rewards that might

not be obvious because they would only be rewarding to him). He may

be trying to communicate something that he hasn't quite been able to

put into words. How long has this been going on? Is he on any

medications?

Miriam

>

> Hi all

>

> We have finally got the written diagnosis of Asperger's and Sensory

> Processing Disorder - hurrah! My ds is now 6, and is becoming

> increasingly violent, lying all the time smashing things

(literally),

> and still only sleeping 3 or 4 hours a night. We're waiting to see

> the sleep clinic again, waiting for a second appointment with the

> mental health team, waiting for a Statement of Educational needs

> assessment, and I can't cope much longer. The doctor has prescribed

> sleeping tablets for me because I simply am not functioning on 3 or

4

> hours, and I'm too anxious to go to sleep when ds finally does

because

> he usually wakes and gets up to mischief again. My partner is

> depressed (and undergoing therapy), I'm depressed (and on

> anti-depressants), I'm only able to work 3 hours a day so I can try

> and catch up on sleep in the day time. It took 3 hours to get ds to

> go to school the other morning, and I was kicked and beaten in the

> process. Yesterday ds went out and smashed a load of cups in the

> yard. We have started taking away is toys and saying we will have

to

> sell them to raise money to replace items he breaks. reasoning

with

> him doesn't work - he says he's so sorry, he will never do it

again,

> he understands why we're sad and angry, and it makes no difference -

> he just does it again anyway. He lies about everything. He's out

of

> control - but is so cold-bloodedly manipulative and so intelligent.

> He's still loving, and needs his cuddles - which he gets of course -

> but I'm starting to dread every day - the morning routines, the

school

> pick up, and especially the nights. I am at a loss.

>

> Sorry to rant. I'm desperate.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

hi lisa,

just wanted you to know you are not alone. you have described my 13

yr old daughter.i don't have any answers for you as we are dealing

with lots of school issues and sensory issues and changes in

medication and the mood swings, you'd think there was a full moon

every night.i'll be praying for you

julie

> >

> > Hi all

> >

> > We have finally got the written diagnosis of Asperger's and

Sensory

> > Processing Disorder - hurrah! My ds is now 6, and is becoming

> > increasingly violent, lying all the time smashing things

> (literally),

> > and still only sleeping 3 or 4 hours a night. We're waiting to

see

> > the sleep clinic again, waiting for a second appointment with the

> > mental health team, waiting for a Statement of Educational needs

> > assessment, and I can't cope much longer. The doctor has

prescribed

> > sleeping tablets for me because I simply am not functioning on 3

or

> 4

> > hours, and I'm too anxious to go to sleep when ds finally does

> because

> > he usually wakes and gets up to mischief again. My partner is

> > depressed (and undergoing therapy), I'm depressed (and on

> > anti-depressants), I'm only able to work 3 hours a day so I can

try

> > and catch up on sleep in the day time. It took 3 hours to get ds

to

> > go to school the other morning, and I was kicked and beaten in the

> > process. Yesterday ds went out and smashed a load of cups in the

> > yard. We have started taking away is toys and saying we will

have

> to

> > sell them to raise money to replace items he breaks. reasoning

> with

> > him doesn't work - he says he's so sorry, he will never do it

> again,

> > he understands why we're sad and angry, and it makes no

difference -

> > he just does it again anyway. He lies about everything. He's

out

> of

> > control - but is so cold-bloodedly manipulative and so

intelligent.

> > He's still loving, and needs his cuddles - which he gets of

course -

> > but I'm starting to dread every day - the morning routines, the

> school

> > pick up, and especially the nights. I am at a loss.

> >

> > Sorry to rant. I'm desperate.

> >

> >

> >

>