Re: Continued, realized HOPE

[Guest guest]

Really Great Story....leaves me with hope!!! Thanks for sharing.

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: <smacalli@...>Subject: ( ) Continued, realized HOPE Date: Saturday, February 21, 2009, 6:12 PM

Had to share a story from earlier today. I've noticed these moments are happening more often than they used to which I attribute to 1) Dylan becoming more self-aware through normal maturity and 2) Us breaking down social challenges in the middle of the situation and teaching and reenforcing appropriate social behavior. Dylan (12, Aspergers) is really putting the pieces together and trying to figure out how he can make things better with his choices.This morning, Dylan's sister (, NT, 7) wanted to make some popcorn in our air-popper. This is an easy, safe thing she can do by herself. She got the idea because when we got back from her soccer game, Dylan had already made himself a bowl. He even shared some with when she asked. Everything was fine. Then when wanted to make her own, Dylan got very upset. He physically tried to stop her from doing this b/c he was worried she put too

much of the garlic salt, butter topping, and cheese shaker on the popcorn. He was really worried about this, making it a much bigger deal than it was when she hadn't even made the popcorn yet! He came into where I was, almost begging me to get her to stop b/c he was worried she would make it in an unhealthy way. I told him "Dylan, why are you so concerned about this? You're making it a much bigger deal than what it is and she hasn't even made it yet!" and he'd argue with "why don't you care, Mom?" We went back and forth and I said I wasn't going to talk about it anymore and he left the room, still upset. I heard him about 5 minutes later go back into the kitchen and approach in a helpful manner, explaining how much of the toppings she should use and why she shouldn't overdo it. He was calm, a little humerous, and completely appropriate. I was so proud! I asked him to come see me and told him

"see what happened when you approached her in a friendly, non-commanding way? She totally listened to you! You had great points and because of the way you handled it, she listened. I'm so proud of you!" and he said "I'm working on it, Mom. I'm trying to think about it harder." OMG. I called him over thinking he wasn't even aware of what he did but he was more than aware, he stopped, thought about it, and tried plan B and plan B worked beautifully. It was so great! As long as he can keep making these connections, realizing how he needs to adjust his approach in social situations, he'll be just fine. It's so awesome to see him trying to put it all together and make the situation better, realizing he can do it! Eventually it will become more instinctual and not something he has to think about quite so hard. That's what I hope for, at least. When he was younger, I would've never believed he'd

be to this point by 12. Never. The age of 2 until the age of about 8 or 9 were some tough years. It was so hard to see what was immaturity vs. neurological challenges vs. our less-than-ideal domestic situation. I wanted to share this story today b/c I've read posts about worrying about the future, new diagnoses, etc... and just wanted to throw some hope out there. It's not an easy road, but you will have joys and successes and breakthroughs and when you do, it will be amazing.

[Guest guest]

>

> Had to share a story from earlier today. I've noticed these moments

> are happening more often than they used to which I attribute to 1)

> Dylan becoming more self-aware through normal maturity and 2) Us

> breaking down social challenges in the middle of the situation and

> teaching and reenforcing appropriate social behavior. Dylan (12,

> Aspergers) is really putting the pieces together and trying to figure

> out how he can make things better with his choices.

Woohoo! Go Dylan! This is wonderful, !

Ruth