Re: How do you handle the attitude...

[Guest guest]

>

> We are struggling with how to handle the attitude it does not matter if

> he is just irritated or completely ticked off he yells. His siblings

> can not play with him or he has an attitude. but it is not only with

> his siblings but us as his parents an even his grandfather. We need to

> get his attitude under control ...

Hi . The first thing is to realize that it is not an attitude

problem. There are physical disabilities he has that cause inability

to do everyday things, which nobody understands--including the child

himself, which in turn leads to extreme frustration and anxiety. You

must have faith in your child. Have faith that there are

understandable reasons for his or her behavior that you just haven't

found yet.

Some examples from my own 14yo son with Asperger...

He refuses to do much of anything with his hands or even to physically

move around very much. He does everything physical very slowly. He

won't fix himself things to eat, wants to just sit and watch his

labmates do all the work in science and just write down the answers,

etc. He would throw fits if I tried to put him in kiddie sports when

he was little. When he was 12, we found out he had severe

developmental coordination disorder. To look at him, he just appears

a little clumsy. We had no idea. He has severe delays in manual

dexterity, bilateral coordination (top/bottom) and moderate delays in

right-left coordination. No one found it before the comprehensive OT

eval because he has excellent fine and gross motor skills in general,

and that is what screening tests usually look for.

He has always " refused " to do homework or chores around the house,

gotten comments " doesn't follow directions " from teachers--turns out

he has executive dysfunction, language problems, relatively slow

processing speed, weak working memory, poor emotional control and

social awareness caused by neurological dysfunction/damage. If things

are presented to him in the right way, he is suddenly not so

oppositional anymore.

So, lots of hugs--it is a long journey. All you can do is try to

think of the right questions to ask and someone to ask them of. You

can start with us!

Ruth

[Guest guest]

Ruth....your son sounds a lot like mine! My son is awkward and doesn't want to do sport...he can really throw a baseball or football but can't run. His handwriting and drawing are like a 5 year old...amazing how much our kids are a like.

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: r_woman2 <me2ruth@...>Subject: ( ) Re: How do you handle the attitude... Date: Saturday, February 21, 2009, 3:35 PM

>> We are struggling with how to handle the attitude it does not matter if > he is just irritated or completely ticked off he yells. His siblings > can not play with him or he has an attitude. but it is not only with > his siblings but us as his parents an even his grandfather. We need to > get his attitude under control ...Hi . The first thing is to realize that it is not an attitudeproblem. There are physical disabilities he has that cause inabilityto do everyday things, which nobody understands- -including the childhimself, which in turn leads to extreme frustration and anxiety. Youmust have faith in your child. Have faith that there areunderstandable reasons for his or her behavior that

you just haven'tfound yet.Some examples from my own 14yo son with Asperger...He refuses to do much of anything with his hands or even to physicallymove around very much. He does everything physical very slowly. Hewon't fix himself things to eat, wants to just sit and watch hislabmates do all the work in science and just write down the answers,etc. He would throw fits if I tried to put him in kiddie sports whenhe was little. When he was 12, we found out he had severedevelopmental coordination disorder. To look at him, he just appearsa little clumsy. We had no idea. He has severe delays in manualdexterity, bilateral coordination (top/bottom) and moderate delays inright-left coordination. No one found it before the comprehensive OTeval because he has excellent fine and gross motor skills in general,and that is what screening tests usually look for.He has always "refused" to do homework

or chores around the house,gotten comments "doesn't follow directions" from teachers--turns outhe has executive dysfunction, language problems, relatively slowprocessing speed, weak working memory, poor emotional control andsocial awareness caused by neurological dysfunction/ damage. If thingsare presented to him in the right way, he is suddenly not sooppositional anymore.So, lots of hugs--it is a long journey. All you can do is try tothink of the right questions to ask and someone to ask them of. Youcan start with us! :)Ruth

[Guest guest]

How do i work though this I can not get help from the school because

they refuse to see him as having anything other than adhd and so refuse

to give him the help that he needs.

Are there any good websites to get info from or any of you insitfull

people know a way to help me help nathan. It is stressfull at times.

sarah

[Guest guest]

>

> How do i work though this I can not get help from the school because

> they refuse to see him as having anything other than adhd and so refuse

> to give him the help that he needs.

>

> Are there any good websites to get info from or any of you insitfull

> people know a way to help me help nathan. It is stressfull at times.

, can you give us a little more information? What kind of

evaluations has he had (neuropsych/OT/speech/autism) and with who

(school/privately on your own dime/insurance)? Do you know what IDEA

is and where to find information on it? Do you want to advocate

yourself or hire someone? What interventions have you tried with

? That should get us started.

Ruth

[Guest guest]

was diagnosed thought the autism clinic a near by hospital has.

and after they group up and come up with a diagnosis of PDD-NOS this

was though insurance.

I know where to get the info on idea i am in touch with our countys

leasion for special needs kids. I can not afford to hire someone. we

have done theropy because until about 3 years ago i homeschooled

nathan. and now with him in the public school each year has gotten

worse with his attitude. So I was working off the diagnoses of ASD.

[Guest guest]

was diagnosed thought the autism clinic a near by hospital has.

and after they group up and come up with a diagnosis of PDD-NOS this

was though insurance.

I know where to get the info on idea i am in touch with our countys

leasion for special needs kids. I can not afford to hire someone. we

have done theropy because until about 3 years ago i homeschooled

nathan. and now with him in the public school each year has gotten

worse with his attitude. So I was working off the diagnoses of ASD.