Continued, realized HOPE

[Guest guest]

Had to share a story from earlier today. I've noticed these moments

are happening more often than they used to which I attribute to 1)

Dylan becoming more self-aware through normal maturity and 2) Us

breaking down social challenges in the middle of the situation and

teaching and reenforcing appropriate social behavior. Dylan (12,

Aspergers) is really putting the pieces together and trying to figure

out how he can make things better with his choices.

This morning, Dylan's sister (, NT, 7) wanted to make some

popcorn in our air-popper. This is an easy, safe thing she can do by

herself. She got the idea because when we got back from her soccer

game, Dylan had already made himself a bowl. He even shared some

with when she asked. Everything was fine. Then when

wanted to make her own, Dylan got very upset. He physically tried to

stop her from doing this b/c he was worried she put too much of the

garlic salt, butter topping, and cheese shaker on the popcorn. He

was really worried about this, making it a much bigger deal than it

was when she hadn't even made the popcorn yet! He came into where I

was, almost begging me to get her to stop b/c he was worried she

would make it in an unhealthy way. I told him " Dylan, why are you so

concerned about this? You're making it a much bigger deal than what

it is and she hasn't even made it yet! " and he'd argue with " why

don't you care, Mom? " We went back and forth and I said I wasn't

going to talk about it anymore and he left the room, still upset. I

heard him about 5 minutes later go back into the kitchen and approach

in a helpful manner, explaining how much of the toppings she

should use and why she shouldn't overdo it. He was calm, a little

humerous, and completely appropriate. I was so proud! I asked him

to come see me and told him " see what happened when you approached

her in a friendly, non-commanding way? She totally listened to you!

You had great points and because of the way you handled it, she

listened. I'm so proud of you! " and he said " I'm working on it,

Mom. I'm trying to think about it harder. " OMG. I called him over

thinking he wasn't even aware of what he did but he was more than

aware, he stopped, thought about it, and tried plan B and plan B

worked beautifully. It was so great!

As long as he can keep making these connections, realizing how he

needs to adjust his approach in social situations, he'll be just

fine. It's so awesome to see him trying to put it all together and

make the situation better, realizing he can do it! Eventually it

will become more instinctual and not something he has to think about

quite so hard. That's what I hope for, at least.

When he was younger, I would've never believed he'd be to this point

by 12. Never. The age of 2 until the age of about 8 or 9 were some

tough years. It was so hard to see what was immaturity vs.

neurological challenges vs. our less-than-ideal domestic situation.

I wanted to share this story today b/c I've read posts about worrying

about the future, new diagnoses, etc... and just wanted to throw some

hope out there. It's not an easy road, but you will have joys and

successes and breakthroughs and when you do, it will be amazing.

[Guest guest]

Awesome story and way to go, Dylan! Makes me think of something that one of Austin's behavior therapists used. It was called "STAR WARS." I remember that STAR stood for Stop, Think, Act, Review. I can't remember what the WARS part stood for though. Anyone???? At the time it was being used, Austin was really too young to understand it, but now I think it could come in handy for him.

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