Re: Speech T and Guidance Couns. don't think Son has AS

[Guest guest]

Hi Jan. From someone who has been there... It is time to go over

their heads. Go to the director of SPED and let them know your

concerns. Describe to them what is going on and make sure they

understand that your child's disabilities are being treated as

behavior problems.

Do NOT let the assistant principal, GC, or ST know what you are doing.

Don't give them any warning. You need to get the first word in. Let

the SPED department handle it. Don't try to tell them what to

do--just let them know that you know that they will " fix " this.

Now, if they don't fix it, that is a whole 'nuther issue--but I think

they will.

Hang in there, girl!

Ruth

[Guest guest]

Jan,

Those people are just out of line to say those things to you! A lot of

folks with AS definitely can do all the things that they said they

don't do (be social, not follow rules, be violent, etc.). They are

really misinformed. Do they know the saying " If you've met one kid

with autism, you've met one kid with autism. " ?

Parenting style does not cause children to be the way you describe

your son. It's biological. He may need more supports in place at

home and at school, but I disagree with the school thinking that he

will be able to follow the rules they give him just because they say

so and count to 3. He is needing help and they are not providing it.

You definitely need to go over their heads. I'm including links to

the the FBA and BIP forms that the NC Autism Society recommends using.

It's under the heading of " Suspension " , but it's still appropriate.

Just filling out the forms properly will teach the staff at your son's

school more than they seem to know at present:

http://www.autismsociety-nc.org/Suspensions_FBA_BIP_021408.pdf

I learned a lot reading through them, and they helped me prepare to

meet with my daughter's team. Also, go to wrightslaw.com. They have a

lot of good info. The school seems to have the idea that your son is

choosing to be the way he is, and that is just not true. Nobody would

choose to be unhappy. He just needs some tools to help him be

successful. One more thing, TEACCH methods work well with both my kids

with AS as well as my NT daughter! Check them out at:

http://www.teacch.com/

I know you don't have TEACCH centers where you live, but their website

has some great articles. If you're not familiar with their method,

they advocate use of visual supports (checklists, work systems,

labels, etc) and structure to help kids navigate their daily lives.

If I'm repeating what others have said, I apologize.

Hang in there. You're a great mom!

Janice

>

> Ok guys ...I need ya ...help...depression is settling in and I cried

> at the meeting and while leaving...went out and shopped....

>

> We had a team meeting ...not a formal meeting ...to go over son's

> behaviors, speech and why he is denied....discipline (as he shot his

> wrist band at a kid and hit him near the eye)....not keeping his head

> up in school, wearing his pants to low, not following

> directions....and so forth...

>

> The meeting started out okay but as we got into it...i felt both his

> GC and ST felt he doesn't have AS. They said if he can understand as

> much as he does and that he can pick up from other kids...that is not

> a sign of AS. If he is so social...that is not AS....if he is

> violent...that is not AS....he doesn't follow rules ...that is not

> AS....

>

> And then ASST. Principal stated we need to set consequences....he

> could have shot the kid in the eye ...the police could have been

> called. the parents could have sued me...OMG...

>

> They decided to make 3 rules he has to follow and put them in his

> binder...

>

> 1. Head can't be down

> 2. Participate and follow along with class

> 3. Follow directions/rules....(pants above butt, check his work,

> follow student handbook...no violent behavior)

>

> The teachers can remind him by using 1 or 2 or 3....no one else has

> to know....

>

> Then we discussed art therapy and signed him up...son said he wanted

> to do it....

>

> Discussed if he doesn't behavior art therapy will be taken away and

> that he will go to in=school suspension (fix it room) during band and

> gym. But asst. principal siad that he has to follow school policy

> for violent behavior (wrist band used as a sling shot) he will be

> suspended or have in-school suspension....I think they were mad

> because I got his out of after-school detention because of the

> smaller bus...

>

> I don't know any more ...I guess I didn't discipline enough...maybe I

> spoiled him....maybe he isn't true AS.

>

> At the end of the meeting, he asked if I was going home and I said

> yes. He asked if he could go with me and I said NO. Then in his

> meanest voice...he said... " DON'T TALK TO ME " . The supervisor of

> Sp.Ed. heard him and told me to go and i knew he would talk to .

> I left crying.

>

> When he came home he was in a foul mood...slammed his bedroom door

> and 2 pictures fell off the wall... then he proceeded to shoot his

> air gun at the ceiling...when I asked him to stop he would not...so I

> had to take the gun away....then he tried to suck up to me and I said

> fine but N is still not coming over. Then he got all pissy again...I

> told him no more arguing...and he told me he wasn't going to school

> wed or doing his homework....then later he tired to suck up again and

> I told him NO...and he said I hate you and wish your head was smashed

> in...

>

> Oh,,,what do i do? help me...I am confused. And the meeting ended in

> a downer.

>

> confused and sadden

> jan

>