Re: torn- ME TOO

[Guest guest]

Hi!

I read your post....I hear what your daughter and husband are saying.....and I understand totally what you are saying. Now...this school seems HUGH!!! Wow...11 1st grade classes.

Now these are my thoughts and just my thoughts...I don't have the answer...

My son who was dx AS in 6th in Dec. has always been on the regular bus. We had some problems even in kindergarten....including him punching his best friend and breaking the skin on his lip...why...because his b.f. would not stop kicking and putting his feet on my son's brand new favorite orange pants...so both boys got in trouble and that was K grade.

This year was the worst...6th grade....I am not sure about your school system..but in ours, the bus picked up the kids from k-6. The younger kids sat in the front...and the oldest kids sat in the back. And that is why I believe we had the worst year. Now mind you my son loves all the kids and is friends with most...not close,close friends but socially friends. Well, in 6th grade the kids can be cruel. They tease each other etc. The girls are too mature for the boys and can be real nasty. In fact, they teased my son because he could not spell Cheerios....so he got in trouble....and mind you...the bus driver can not hear what is going on...the girls tattle on the boys and even make up stories.

Anyways, I forget why...but my son got in trouble and was moved to the middle of the bus with 4th and 5th graders. Now think how he must have felt. They moved him ..and didn't tell me. Now on top of all this...there is this boy in 5th grade who lives around the corner...my son doesn't care for this boy but never goes near him or anything. Well, I guess this kid started on my son and then eventually said "I'm gonna piss on your grandfather's grave" and at the time Poppy who lives with us was dying of pancreatic cancer. My son flipped out on him and cursed him up and down. Of course...you know who got in trouble....my son... I got the call from the asst. principal etc. etc. Of course the incident is never looked into totally....I have to wait for my son to come home and explain the situation ...at least to how he felt it happened or how he perceived it...And when he told me what the boy said about his Poppy...my son said, "Mom, HOW

MUCH DO I HAVE TO TAKE????"

So, we had a meeting, it was ruled a Manifestation of his Disabililty and I did have him serve one day in=school suspension (in the audiotorium and he loves it anyway) because I want him to learn you just can not curse,hit or be disrespectful on the bus. And, then I told the school...they NEED to teach him what he is to do in such situations!!!!!

Anyways...we all decided to put in on the SMALL BUS. He was upset at first. I told him to think of it as his private LIMO. He gets picked up 20 min. later...right at the door...he arrives at school right on time...doesn't have to sit on the bus like the other kids for 10 min. or so....he gets to leave 15 min. earlier than the other kids and is dropped off right at the door. The busdrivers are so much KINDER....they are not dealing with 50 noisy kids at a time and they know these chldren have special needs.

Now, my main point...NOISE. THE NOISE LEVEL ON A REGULAR BUS IS SKY HIGH! THE SMALLER BUS IS QUIETER AND LESS STRESSFUL! Think about it. I am not pushing you towards the smaller bus...but let me tell you ...the 3 months that my son has been on it has made a world of difference. He actually gets off the bus and he is less stressed. He comes in and actually says hello to me.

School is stressful enough....these buses are unmonitored and noisy and kids can be down right cruel.

You say...your son can ride in the front of the bus. That is fine for now...but what happens as the kids get older....when they place my son up front....right behind the driver...all the kindergartners started teasing him. Think how hard that would be to deal with.

At first the kids did tease my son...you are on the TART CART....or the SPED BUS! He told them no ...it's my LIMO and guess what ...I get to go in later and come home earlier...I get to listen to my music in peace and quiet...and I have a great bus driver. And, he also did inform his teacher of the teasing....and let me tell you ...she called ALL those kids in and REAMED them out (and she is handicapped too)!

So think about it....think of your son first....how is he with NOISE??? How is he in situations w/out a MONITOR or someone SUPERVISING??? Also, what is youor son's maturity level????? And, remember, these kids LEARN QUITE a bit on these buses...such learning that is not taught at home or in school. This is where my son learned all these beautiful curse words that we DON'T use at home!!!

So think about it, talk it over with you husband and son. And, remember....things can be changed. You may want to try the larger bus...but if it doesn't work ...go to the smaller bus or if possible drive him. I can't drive my son becuase I have to be at work earlier than him.

These are just some of things we went thru..you might have a completely different experience. But I have found that trouble always starts in non-supervised situations.

Best wishes!

JanP.S. Another thing...how does your son do socially? Is he literal? How does he perceive things. Sometimes kids tease becuae that is what they do....but my son doesn't get it. He perceive the situation completely different. He doesn't always tell me what happened. He doesn't know how to tell me his feelings...so they get bottled up...and then they explode.

Janice Rushen

Mom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant,

Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board Artist

Nanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt,

Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide,

Student, Believer, and Giver.

From: <k_emert1979@...>Subject: ( ) Re: torn Date: Friday, July 25, 2008, 10:52 AM

My kiddos all ride the bus (all six of them). Because of Jory's Asperger's, they wanted to put him on the "short bus", but I wasn't going to deal with 2 buses for the same school. I called directly to the school system's transportation office, and talked to the director. It took several calls (and Jory having a meltdown on the way home the very first day of school last year--director had said, "let's see how he does before we make any decisions"), but less than a week into school, the REGULAR bus got a "helper" placed on it, and Jory did fine that way. Any kids with bus behavior problems get assigned seats near the front, and Jory's melt counted as a "behavior problem" for that purpose, and he got the front seat all to himself for the rest of the schoolyear. Be ready for the meltdown, but let see if he can handle the bus, and rest assured, the "short bus" is NOT the only other

option.>> Took to meet his new principal and talk with her on Wednesday. She seems very nice, and wants to pick the perfect 1st grade teacher for him. I gave her his iep info from last year and everthing seemed fine. Its a much bigger school than we are used to., 700 students, and its only k-2. There are 11 first grade classes! His old school had 160 total and was k-5 and only had two kindergarten classes! So this will indeed be different.> Anyway..I was fine with everything UNTIL I asked a question abou the bus. wants to try riding the bus this year, as his old school didnthave busses. I am certainly willing to let him try. If he hates it Iwill be happy to drive him. So I asked the principal about the busses..is

there a bus monitor on board? She said no not on the regular busses, but if I wanted he could ride a smaller bus (she winked at me then since thomas was there) where they had a monitor and that they just had a GREAT time on that bus! > So I guess she was offering to let ride the short bus. Which really was fine with me, I didnt give it much thought till I got home. > > I told my 16yo daughter this. She flipped OUT. You CANNOT let him ride that bus mom!! He doesnt NEED to ride that bus, and if you do he will be labeled by the other kids at school from day one and picked on and they will ask him WHY he rides that bus, and what will h e say? So DONT do this please!! She almost started crying, really! I was kind of taken aback. I hadnt thought of it that way.> > So later in the evening I mentioned it to myhusband while we were in bed. He looks over and says NO. You didnt

sign him up for that bus did you? > That would be awful. and then went on to explain his reasons for thinking that way which were the same as my daughters. He would be stigmatized, and then he would wonder why he was riding that bus, since other kids will ask, and then so on and so on.> > I wonder if I have aspergers. I never ever thought about that. Not once. All I thought of was yay a bus where theres more supervision and they have fun! How am I going to look out for him socially if I cant even do this? > Am I an overlly protective mom? My husband certainly thinks I am. And when my son does things that I think will be really hard for him, he usually does well, in spite of my worrying. but the BUS? sigh. Of course, my dd pointed out that I was worried about HER taking the bus on the first day of HIGH SCHOOL after having been homeschooled for fiveyears prior. She thought that

was silly for me to be worried. Sweet but silly.> > So what do yall think? Should I just let him ride the bus, the big regualr bus and maybe he can just sit in the front? I'm not worried about his being bad really, I am worried aobut he other kids being mean. > Or about him getting overwhelmed with the noise and yelling at someone and starting a fight maybe. Or I could be totally wrong and he could make a good friend in our neighborhood by riding hte bus, and it could be an enjoyable time for him every day. > > Thanks for listening to me ramble, I also have terrible pms right now so everything seems HUGE to me. I made a cake from scratch two days ago and as I was falling asleep last night, I realized that myf amilly hasnt eaten all of it yet. maybe they dont like it. maybe it was yucky. I almost cried. Yep, bring on the midol!! ha>

kate>

[Guest guest]

WOW Jan - I just read your whole post. Inbetween rushing in and out from home, I get to read an e-mail and rush out again. I just had to tell you "THAT WAS AWESOME" So well said. and the moral I got is - don't listen to everyone else, go by your gut instincts and do whats best for your own child. If the kids are going to tease him, they will do it regardless if he is on the big bus or little bus. It doesn't take a professional to tell that someone is different. they all know. I forgot if she mentioned if he knows about his DX. I'm reading these e-mails while I'm out waiting for someone or rushing in my house to get something for someone and I'm right back out. So, I forgot if she said if he knows about his DX or not. It does makes a Hugh positive difference if the child knows about his DX and

understands what it is. you have some really good advice in your post! *smile*. Roserushen janice <jrushen@...> wrote: Hi! I read your post....I hear what your daughter and husband are saying.....and I understand totally what you are saying. Now...this school seems HUGH!!! Wow...11 1st grade classes. Now these are my thoughts and just my

thoughts...I don't have the answer... My son who was dx AS in 6th in Dec. has always been on the regular bus. We had some problems even in kindergarten....including him punching his best friend and breaking the skin on his lip...why...because his b.f. would not stop kicking and putting his feet on my son's brand new favorite orange pants...so both boys got in trouble and that was K grade. This year was the worst...6th grade....I am not sure about your school system..but in ours, the bus picked up the kids from k-6. The younger kids sat in the front...and the oldest kids sat in the back. And that is why I believe we had the worst year. Now mind you my son loves all the kids and is friends with most...not close,close friends but socially friends. Well, in 6th grade the kids can be cruel. They tease each other etc. The girls are too mature for the boys and can be real nasty. In fact,

they teased my son because he could not spell Cheerios....so he got in trouble....and mind you...the bus driver can not hear what is going on...the girls tattle on the boys and even make up stories. Anyways, I forget why...but my son got in trouble and was moved to the middle of the bus with 4th and 5th graders. Now think how he must have felt. They moved him ..and didn't tell me. Now on top of all this...there is this boy in 5th grade who lives around the corner...my son doesn't care for this boy but never goes near him or anything. Well, I guess this kid started on my son and then eventually said "I'm gonna piss on your grandfather's grave" and at the time Poppy who lives with us was dying of pancreatic cancer. My son flipped out on him and cursed him up and down. Of course...you know who got in trouble....my son... I got the call from the asst. principal etc. etc. Of course the incident is never looked

into totally....I have to wait for my son to come home and explain the situation ...at least to how he felt it happened or how he perceived it...And when he told me what the boy said about his Poppy...my son said, "Mom, HOW MUCH DO I HAVE TO TAKE????" So, we had a meeting, it was ruled a Manifestation of his Disabililty and I did have him serve one day in=school suspension (in the audiotorium and he loves it anyway) because I want him to learn you just can not curse,hit or be disrespectful on the bus. And, then I told the school...they NEED to teach him what he is to do in such situations!!!!! Anyways...we all decided to put in on the SMALL BUS. He was upset at first. I told him to think of it as his private LIMO. He gets picked up 20 min. later...right at the door...he arrives at school right on time...doesn't have to sit on the bus like the other kids for 10 min. or so....he gets

to leave 15 min. earlier than the other kids and is dropped off right at the door. The busdrivers are so much KINDER....they are not dealing with 50 noisy kids at a time and they know these chldren have special needs. Now, my main point...NOISE. THE NOISE LEVEL ON A REGULAR BUS IS SKY HIGH! THE SMALLER BUS IS QUIETER AND LESS STRESSFUL! Think about it. I am not pushing you towards the smaller bus...but let me tell you ...the 3 months that my son has been on it has made a world of difference. He actually gets off the bus and he is less stressed. He comes in and actually says hello to me. School is stressful enough....these buses are unmonitored and noisy and kids can be down right cruel. You say...your son can ride in the front of the bus. That is fine for now...but what happens as the kids get older....when they place my son up front....right behind

the driver...all the kindergartners started teasing him. Think how hard that would be to deal with. At first the kids did tease my son...you are on the TART CART....or the SPED BUS! He told them no ...it's my LIMO and guess what ...I get to go in later and come home earlier...I get to listen to my music in peace and quiet...and I have a great bus driver. And, he also did inform his teacher of the teasing....and let me tell you ...she called ALL those kids in and REAMED them out (and she is handicapped too)! So think about it....think of your son first....how is he with NOISE??? How is he in situations w/out a MONITOR or someone SUPERVISING??? Also, what is youor son's maturity level????? And, remember, these kids LEARN QUITE a bit on these buses...such learning that is not taught at home or in school. This is where my son learned all these beautiful curse words that we DON'T use at

home!!! So think about it, talk it over with you husband and son. And, remember....things can be changed. You may want to try the larger bus...but if it doesn't work ...go to the smaller bus or if possible drive him. I can't drive my son becuase I have to be at work earlier than him. These are just some of things we went thru..you might have a completely different experience. But I have found that trouble always starts in non-supervised situations. Best wishes! JanP.S. Another thing...how does your son do socially? Is he literal? How does he perceive things. Sometimes kids tease becuae that is what they do....but my son doesn't get it. He perceive the situation completely different. He doesn't always tell me what happened. He doesn't know how to tell me his feelings...so

they get bottled up...and then they explode. Janice Rushen Mom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant, Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board Artist Nanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt, Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide, Student, Believer, and Giver. From:

<k_emert1979 >Subject: ( ) Re: torn Date: Friday, July 25, 2008, 10:52 AM My kiddos all ride the bus (all six of them). Because of Jory's Asperger's, they wanted to put him on the "short bus", but I wasn't going to deal with 2 buses for the same school. I called directly to the school system's transportation office, and talked to the director. It took several calls (and Jory having a meltdown on the way home the very first day of school last year--director had said, "let's see how he does before we make any decisions"), but less than a week into school, the REGULAR bus got a "helper" placed on it, and Jory did fine that way. Any kids with bus behavior problems get assigned seats near the front, and Jory's melt counted as a "behavior problem" for that purpose, and he got the front

seat all to himself for the rest of the schoolyear. Be ready for the meltdown, but let see if he can handle the bus, and rest assured, the "short bus" is NOT the only other option.>> Took to meet his new principal and talk with her on Wednesday. She seems very nice, and wants to pick the perfect 1st grade teacher for him. I gave her his iep info from last year and everthing seemed fine. Its a much bigger school than we are used to., 700 students, and its only k-2. There are 11 first grade classes! His old school had 160 total and was k-5 and only had two kindergarten classes! So this will indeed be different.> Anyway..I was fine with everything UNTIL I asked a question abou the bus. wants to try riding the bus this year, as

his old school didnthave busses. I am certainly willing to let him try. If he hates it Iwill be happy to drive him. So I asked the principal about the busses..is there a bus monitor on board? She said no not on the regular busses, but if I wanted he could ride a smaller bus (she winked at me then since thomas was there) where they had a monitor and that they just had a GREAT time on that bus! > So I guess she was offering to let ride the short bus. Which really was fine with me, I didnt give it much thought till I got home. > > I told my 16yo daughter this. She flipped OUT. You CANNOT let him ride that bus mom!! He doesnt NEED to ride that bus, and if you do he will be labeled by the other kids at school from day one and picked on and they will ask him WHY he rides that bus, and what will h e say? So DONT do this please!! She almost started crying, really! I was kind of taken aback. I hadnt

thought of it that way.> > So later in the evening I mentioned it to myhusband while we were in bed. He looks over and says NO. You didnt sign him up for that bus did you? > That would be awful. and then went on to explain his reasons for thinking that way which were the same as my daughters. He would be stigmatized, and then he would wonder why he was riding that bus, since other kids will ask, and then so on and so on.> > I wonder if I have aspergers. I never ever thought about that. Not once. All I thought of was yay a bus where theres more supervision and they have fun! How am I going to look out for him socially if I cant even do this? > Am I an overlly protective mom? My husband certainly thinks I am. And when my son does things that I think will be really hard for him, he usually does well, in spite of my worrying. but the BUS? sigh. Of course, my dd pointed out that I was worried

about HER taking the bus on the first day of HIGH SCHOOL after having been homeschooled for fiveyears prior. She thought that was silly for me to be worried. Sweet but silly.> > So what do yall think? Should I just let him ride the bus, the big regualr bus and maybe he can just sit in the front? I'm not worried about his being bad really, I am worried aobut he other kids being mean. > Or about him getting overwhelmed with the noise and yelling at someone and starting a fight maybe. Or I could be totally wrong and he could make a good friend in our neighborhood by riding hte bus, and it could be an enjoyable time for him every day. > > Thanks for listening to me ramble, I also have terrible pms right now so everything seems HUGE to me. I made a cake from scratch two days ago and as I was falling asleep last night, I realized that myf amilly hasnt eaten all of it yet. maybe they dont like it.

maybe it was yucky. I almost cried. Yep, bring on the midol!! ha> kate>

[Guest guest]

Thank you Rose....it is so hard to tell what is really going on with our kids...sometimes I wish i was a fly on the wall....so I could be there. So much is involved....how they interpret, how they can not tell us their needs or issues, how they perceive things, how kids perceive them....noise...no supervision. We have to weigh everything out....yeah...I would love for my son to be on a bigger bus to be with his peers...but you know what ...it isn't worth it....maybe as he matures ...we'll see. But, he loves the fact he gets to sleep a little longer! And, he loves the fact that the driver is so kind and caring....and he loves the fact he can sit by himself and not be bothered by anyone or be teased. He is around enough kids all day long and this year school is going to be 1/2 hour longer....The day is long for our kids....8 am and they

don't get home till 4:10 pm. And, constantly doing work...little breaks, 30 min. lunch and NO RECESS!!!! So, I am happy with the move to the smaller bus.

Jan

Janice Rushen

Mom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant,

Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board Artist

Nanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt,

Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide,

Student, Believer, and Giver.

From: <k_emert1979>Subject: ( ) Re: torn Date: Friday, July 25, 2008, 10:52 AM

My kiddos all ride the bus (all six of them). Because of Jory's Asperger's, they wanted to put him on the "short bus", but I wasn't going to deal with 2 buses for the same school. I called directly to the school system's transportation office, and talked to the director. It took several calls (and Jory having a meltdown on the way home the very first day of school last year--director had said, "let's see how he does before we make any decisions"), but less than a week into school, the REGULAR bus got a "helper" placed on it, and Jory did fine that way. Any kids with bus behavior problems get assigned seats near the front, and Jory's melt counted as a "behavior problem" for that purpose, and he got the front seat all to himself for the rest of the schoolyear. Be ready for the meltdown, but let see if he can handle the bus, and rest assured, the "short bus" is NOT the only other

option.>> Took to meet his new principal and talk with her on Wednesday. She seems very nice, and wants to pick the perfect 1st grade teacher for him. I gave her his iep info from last year and everthing seemed fine. Its a much bigger school than we are used to., 700 students, and its only k-2. There are 11 first grade classes! His old school had 160 total and was k-5 and only had two kindergarten classes! So this will indeed be different.> Anyway..I was fine with everything UNTIL I asked a question abou the bus. wants to try riding the bus this year, as his old school didnthave busses. I am certainly willing to let him try. If he hates it Iwill be happy to drive him. So I asked the principal about the busses..is

there a bus monitor on board? She said no not on the regular busses, but if I wanted he could ride a smaller bus (she winked at me then since thomas was there) where they had a monitor and that they just had a GREAT time on that bus! > So I guess she was offering to let ride the short bus. Which really was fine with me, I didnt give it much thought till I got home. > > I told my 16yo daughter this. She flipped OUT. You CANNOT let him ride that bus mom!! He doesnt NEED to ride that bus, and if you do he will be labeled by the other kids at school from day one and picked on and they will ask him WHY he rides that bus, and what will h e say? So DONT do this please!! She almost started crying, really! I was kind of taken aback. I hadnt thought of it that way.> > So later in the evening I mentioned it to myhusband while we were in bed. He looks over and says NO. You didnt

sign him up for that bus did you? > That would be awful. and then went on to explain his reasons for thinking that way which were the same as my daughters. He would be stigmatized, and then he would wonder why he was riding that bus, since other kids will ask, and then so on and so on.> > I wonder if I have aspergers. I never ever thought about that. Not once. All I thought of was yay a bus where theres more supervision and they have fun! How am I going to look out for him socially if I cant even do this? > Am I an overlly protective mom? My husband certainly thinks I am. And when my son does things that I think will be really hard for him, he usually does well, in spite of my worrying. but the BUS? sigh. Of course, my dd pointed out that I was worried about HER taking the bus on the first day of HIGH SCHOOL after having been homeschooled for fiveyears prior. She thought that

was silly for me to be worried. Sweet but silly.> > So what do yall think? Should I just let him ride the bus, the big regualr bus and maybe he can just sit in the front? I'm not worried about his being bad really, I am worried aobut he other kids being mean. > Or about him getting overwhelmed with the noise and yelling at someone and starting a fight maybe. Or I could be totally wrong and he could make a good friend in our neighborhood by riding hte bus, and it could be an enjoyable time for him every day. > > Thanks for listening to me ramble, I also have terrible pms right now so everything seems HUGE to me. I made a cake from scratch two days ago and as I was falling asleep last night, I realized that myf amilly hasnt eaten all of it yet. maybe they dont like it. maybe it was yucky. I almost cried. Yep, bring on the midol!! ha>

kate>

[Guest guest]

Jan,

Good point about all the new " Learning " that goes on in the bus. I

remember riding the bus and hated it. I was so glad when I was old

enough to walk home. I remember an 8th grade girl (who was very

physically mature) open the window, stand up, pull up her shirt and

flash the people on the street. Nothing happened at all to her. The

bus driver probably didn't even see it.

My kids will not be riding our school bus because they bus them to a

central hub in our small downtown, then expect the kids to transfer

buses to get on the right one to go home. They are on the bus with

kids from all 7 or 8 elementary schools and some junior high kids too

I think. No thanks!

I chose a childcare center that has vans to pick up the kids for the 3

days that I work each week. It has been a Godsend!

> This year was the worst...6th grade....I am not sure about your

school system..but in ours, the bus picked up the kids from k-6.  The

younger kids sat in the front...and the oldest kids sat in the back. 

And that is why I believe we had the worst year.  Now mind you my son

loves all the kids and is friends with most...not close,close friends

but socially friends. Well, in 6th grade the kids can be cruel.  They

tease each other etc.  The girls are too mature for the boys and can

be real nasty. In fact, they teased my son because he could not spell

Cheerios....so he got in trouble....and mind you...the bus driver can

not hear what is going on...the girls tattle on the boys and even make

up stories. 

>  

> Anyways, I forget why...but my son got in trouble and was moved to

the middle of the bus with 4th and 5th graders.  Now think how he must

have felt.  They moved him ..and didn't tell me. Now on top of all

this...there is this boy in 5th grade who lives around the corner...my

son doesn't care for this boy but never goes near him or anything. 

Well, I guess this kid started on my son and then eventually said " I'm

gonna piss on your grandfather's grave " and at the time Poppy who

lives with us was dying of pancreatic cancer. My son flipped out on

him and cursed him up and down. Of course...you know who got in

trouble....my son... I got the call from the asst. principal etc. etc.

Of course the incident is never looked into totally....I have to wait

for my son to come home and explain the situation ...at least to how

he felt it happened or how he perceived it...And when he told me what

the boy said about his Poppy...my son said, " Mom, HOW MUCH DO I HAVE TO

> TAKE???? "

>  

> So, we had a meeting, it was ruled a Manifestation of his

Disabililty and I did have him serve one day in=school suspension (in

the audiotorium and he loves it anyway) because I want him to learn

you just can not curse,hit or be disrespectful on the bus. And, then I

told the school...they NEED to teach him what he is to do in such

situations!!!!!

>  

> Anyways...we all decided to put in on the SMALL BUS.  He was upset

at first.  I told him to think of it as his private LIMO.  He gets

picked up 20 min. later...right at the door...he arrives at school

right on time...doesn't have to sit on the bus like the other kids for

10 min. or so....he gets to leave 15 min. earlier than the other kids

and is dropped off right at the door. The busdrivers are so much

KINDER....they are not dealing with 50 noisy kids at a time and they

know these chldren have special needs. 

>  

> Now, my main point...NOISE. THE NOISE LEVEL ON A REGULAR BUS IS SKY

HIGH!  THE SMALLER BUS IS QUIETER AND LESS STRESSFUL! Think about it.

I am not pushing you towards the smaller bus...but let me tell you

....the 3 months that my son has been on it has made a world of

difference.  He actually gets off the bus and he  is less stressed. He

comes in and actually says hello to me.

>  

> School is stressful enough....these buses are unmonitored and noisy

and kids can be down right cruel.

>  

> You say...your son can ride in the front of the bus.  That is fine

for now...but what happens as the kids get older....when they place my

son up front....right behind the driver...all the kindergartners

started teasing him.  Think how hard that would be to deal with.

>  

> At first the kids did tease my son...you are on the TART CART....or

the SPED BUS! He told them no ...it's my LIMO and guess what ...I get

to go in later and come home earlier...I get to listen to my music in

peace and quiet...and I have a great bus driver.  And, he also did

inform his teacher of the teasing....and let me tell you ...she called

ALL those kids in and REAMED them out (and she is handicapped too)!

>  

> So think about it....think of your son first....how is he with

NOISE??? How is he in situations w/out a MONITOR or someone

SUPERVISING???  Also, what is youor son's maturity level????? And,

remember, these kids LEARN QUITE a bit on these buses...such learning

that is not taught at home or in school.  This is where my son learned

all these beautiful curse words that we DON'T use at home!!!

>  

> So think about it, talk it over with you husband and son.  And,

remember....things can be changed.  You may want to try the larger

bus...but if it doesn't work ...go to the smaller bus or if possible

drive him.  I can't drive my son becuase I have to be at work earlier

than him. 

>  

> These are just some of things we went thru..you might have a

completely different experience.  But I have found that trouble always

starts in non-supervised situations.

>  

> Best wishes!

>  

> Jan

>

> P.S.  Another thing...how does your son do socially?  Is he

literal?  How does he perceive things.  Sometimes kids tease becuae

that is what they do....but my son doesn't get it.  He perceive the

situation completely different.  He doesn't always tell me what

happened. He doesn't know how to tell me his feelings...so they get

bottled up...and then they explode. 

>  

>  Janice Rushen

> Mom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant,

> Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board Artist

> Nanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt,

> Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide,

> Student, Believer, and Giver.

>  

>

>

>

> From: <k_emert1979@...>

> Subject: ( ) Re: torn

>

> Date: Friday, July 25, 2008, 10:52 AM

>

>

>

>

>

>

> My kiddos all ride the bus (all six of them). Because of Jory's

> Asperger's, they wanted to put him on the " short bus " , but I wasn't

> going to deal with 2 buses for the same school. I called directly to

> the school system's transportation office, and talked to the

> director. It took several calls (and Jory having a meltdown on the

> way home the very first day of school last year--director had

> said, " let's see how he does before we make any decisions " ), but less

> than a week into school, the REGULAR bus got a " helper " placed on it,

> and Jory did fine that way. Any kids with bus behavior problems get

> assigned seats near the front, and Jory's melt counted as a " behavior

> problem " for that purpose, and he got the front seat all to himself

> for the rest of the schoolyear. Be ready for the meltdown, but let

> see if he can handle the bus, and rest assured, the " short

> bus " is NOT the only other option.

>

>

> >

> > Took to meet his new principal and talk with her on

> Wednesday. She seems very nice, and wants to pick the perfect 1st

> grade teacher for him. I gave her his iep info from last year and

> everthing seemed fine. Its a much bigger school than we are used

> to., 700 students, and its only k-2. There are 11 first grade

> classes! His old school had 160 total and was k-5 and only had two

> kindergarten classes! So this will indeed be different.

> > Anyway..I was fine with everything UNTIL I asked a question abou

> the bus. wants to try riding the bus this year, as his old

> school didnthave busses. I am certainly willing to let him try. If

> he hates it Iwill be happy to drive him. So I asked the principal

> about the busses..is there a bus monitor on board? She said no not

> on the regular busses, but if I wanted he could ride a smaller bus

> (she winked at me then since thomas was there) where they had a

> monitor and that they just had a GREAT time on that bus!

> > So I guess she was offering to let ride the short bus.

> Which really was fine with me, I didnt give it much thought till I

> got home.

> >

> > I told my 16yo daughter this. She flipped OUT. You CANNOT let him

> ride that bus mom!! He doesnt NEED to ride that bus, and if you do

> he will be labeled by the other kids at school from day one and

> picked on and they will ask him WHY he rides that bus, and what will

> h e say? So DONT do this please!! She almost started crying,

> really! I was kind of taken aback. I hadnt thought of it that way.

> >

> > So later in the evening I mentioned it to myhusband while we were

> in bed. He looks over and says NO. You didnt sign him up for that

> bus did you?

> > That would be awful. and then went on to explain his reasons for

> thinking that way which were the same as my daughters. He would be

> stigmatized, and then he would wonder why he was riding that bus,

> since other kids will ask, and then so on and so on.

> >

> > I wonder if I have aspergers. I never ever thought about that.

> Not once. All I thought of was yay a bus where theres more

> supervision and they have fun! How am I going to look out for him

> socially if I cant even do this?

> > Am I an overlly protective mom? My husband certainly thinks I

> am. And when my son does things that I think will be really hard for

> him, he usually does well, in spite of my worrying. but the BUS?

> sigh. Of course, my dd pointed out that I was worried about HER

> taking the bus on the first day of HIGH SCHOOL after having been

> homeschooled for fiveyears prior. She thought that was silly for me

> to be worried. Sweet but silly.

> >

> > So what do yall think? Should I just let him ride the bus, the big

> regualr bus and maybe he can just sit in the front? I'm not worried

> about his being bad really, I am worried aobut he other kids being

> mean.

> > Or about him getting overwhelmed with the noise and yelling at

> someone and starting a fight maybe. Or I could be totally wrong and

> he could make a good friend in our neighborhood by riding hte bus,

> and it could be an enjoyable time for him every day.

> >

> > Thanks for listening to me ramble, I also have terrible pms right

> now so everything seems HUGE to me. I made a cake from scratch two

> days ago and as I was falling asleep last night, I realized that myf

> amilly hasnt eaten all of it yet. maybe they dont like it. maybe it

> was yucky. I almost cried. Yep, bring on the midol!! ha

> > kate

> >

>