Brand new member- brand new diagnosis

[Guest guest]

My 5 year old was just diagnosed with Aspergers and possible ADHD.

Just looking for support and reassurance that everything is going to be

ok. We are going to be receiving services for him and us. I think I

will feel a lot better once everything gets going. Right now I feel

like I have gotten the wind knocked out of me and that the beautiful

childhood I imagined for him is over..........I know I am being

dramatic but it's the way I feel. Anyway, glad to find this group!

[Guest guest]

It does take awhile to adjust, but I promise, it's not all bad. You do have to let go of some of the dreams you used to have for your child and replace them with new ones. But when are all of our dreams realized anyway? It's just accepting the new "normal".

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: "kerrie.johnson@..." <kerrie.johnson@...> Sent: Thursday, February 19, 2009 8:55:16 AMSubject: ( ) Brand new member- brand new diagnosis

My 5 year old was just diagnosed with Aspergers and possible ADHD. Just looking for support and reassurance that everything is going to be ok. We are going to be receiving services for him and us. I think I will feel a lot better once everything gets going. Right now I feel like I have gotten the wind knocked out of me and that the beautiful childhood I imagined for him is over........ ..I know I am being dramatic but it's the way I feel. Anyway, glad to find this group!

[Guest guest]

Absolutely, I agree with ... A diagnosis of anything, but

the 'norm' can be initially shocking to a parent. People are looking

at the most precious component of your heart - your child - and

seeming to 'disect' this apart. It is scary, the unknown! The best

advice I can give to you as a mom who has 'been there' is to take a

deep breath and remember this: The child before you is the SAME child

you have loved and dreamed of. Do not waste your time on constant

worry... so much passes you by when there are many more joys than

problems to focus upon. Everything will be alright; things will be as

they are meant to be. You now have amunition to combat symptoms that

your child faces; you take the diagnosis and dismiss the negative

connotations of the 'label' and focus on the help to relieve the

difficulties. No one is 'perfect'... we are all flawed in one way or

another; some physically, some emotionally, some mentally, but we are

all unique and valuable. It took me a number of years to find my way

to this truth... I hope your inner peace comes sooner. : )

Velvet

" 's Syndrome "

http://www.tetrasomy18p.ca/

P.S. Here is a poem that some like, others do not care for. Again,

that is what makes us individuals : ) Personally, I like its honest

portrayal of the fear which may accompany first impressions. In no

way do I believe it belittles a parent's love for their child! I have

seen first hand how those more devestated by initial poor

developmental/medical prognoses become the most fierce 'mother bears'

who love unconditionally.

Mothers Lie

By Lori Borgman

Expectant mothers waiting for a newborn's arrival say they don't care

what

sex the baby is. They just want to have ten fingers and ten toes.

Mothers lie

Every mother wants so much more.

She wants a perfectly healthy baby with a round head, rosebud lips,

button

nose, beautiful eyes and satin skin.

She wants a baby so gorgeous that people will pity the Gerber baby

for being

flat-out ugly.

She wants a baby that will roll over, sit up and take those first

steps

right on schedule (according to the baby development chart on page 57,

column two).

Every mother wants a baby that can see, hear, run, jump and fire

neurons by

the billions.

She wants a kid that can smack the ball out of the park and do toe

points

that are the envy of the entire ballet class.

Call it greed if you want, but a mother wants what a mother wants.

Some mothers get babies with something more.

Maybe you're one who got a baby with a condition you couldn't

pronounce, a

spine that didn't fuse, a missing chromosome or a palate that didn't

close.

The doctor's words took your breath away.

It was just like the time at recess in the fourth grade when you

didn't see

the kick ball coming, and it knocked the wind right out of you.

Some of you left the hospital with a healthy bundle, then, months,

even

years later, took him in for a routine visit, or scheduled him for a

checkup, and crashed head first into a brick wall as you bore the

brunt of

devastating news.

It didn't seem possible.

That didn't run in your family.

Could this really be happening in your lifetime?

There's no such thing as a perfect body.

Everybody will bear something at some time or another.

Maybe the affliction will be apparent to curious eyes, or maybe it

will be

unseen, quietly treated with trips to the doctor, therapy or surgery.

Mothers of children with disabilities live the limitations with them.

ly, I don't know how you do it.

Sometimes you mothers scare me.

How you lift that kid in and out of the wheelchair twenty times a day.

How you monitor tests, track medications, and serve as the gatekeeper

to a

hundred specialists yammering in your ear.

I wonder how you endure the clich & #65533;s and the platitudes, the well-

intentioned

souls explaining how God is at work when you've occasionally

questioned if

God is on strike.

I even wonder how you endure schmaltzy columns like this one-saluting

you,

painting you as hero and saint, when you know you're ordinary.

You snap, you bark, you bite.

You didn't volunteer for this, you didn't jump up and down in the

motherhood

line yelling,

" Choose me, God. Choose me! I've got what it takes. "

You're a woman who doesn't have time to step back and put things in

perspective, so let me do it for you.

From where I sit, you're way ahead of

the pack.

You've developed the strength of the draft horse while holding onto

the

delicacy of a daffodil.

You have a heart that melts like chocolate in a glove box in July,

counter-balanced against the stubbornness of an Ozark mule.

You are the mother, advocate and protector of a child with a

disability.

You're a neighbor, a friend, a woman I pass at church and my sister-

in-law.

You're a wonder.

(Lori Borgman is a syndicated columnist and author of All Stressed Up

and No Place To Go)

>

> It does take awhile to adjust, but I promise, it's not all

bad.  You do have to let go of some of the dreams you used to have

for your child and replace them with new ones.  But when are all of

our dreams realized anyway?  It's just accepting the new " normal " . 

>  

>

>

> " Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't

sent one out. "

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

> From: " kerrie.johnson@... " <kerrie.johnson@...>

>

> Sent: Thursday, February 19, 2009 8:55:16 AM

> Subject: ( ) Brand new member- brand new diagnosis

>

>

> My 5 year old was just diagnosed with Aspergers and possible ADHD.

> Just looking for support and reassurance that everything is going

to be

> ok. We are going to be receiving services for him and us. I think I

> will feel a lot better once everything gets going. Right now I feel

> like I have gotten the wind knocked out of me and that the

beautiful

> childhood I imagined for him is over........ ..I know I am being

> dramatic but it's the way I feel. Anyway, glad to find this group!

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome to our group Kerrie! Feel free to join in anywhere you like!

It's always a surprise and a shock. There will be things you will have to give up, dreamwise. But you will learn that even though it hurts, you will survive it. And then when things come along, you will appreciate them even more. It doesn't seem like it now, but down the road, you will see that.

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

( ) Brand new member- brand new diagnosis

My 5 year old was just diagnosed with Aspergers and possible ADHD. Just looking for support and reassurance that everything is going to be ok. We are going to be receiving services for him and us. I think I will feel a lot better once everything gets going. Right now I feel like I have gotten the wind knocked out of me and that the beautiful childhood I imagined for him is over..........I know I am being dramatic but it's the way I feel. Anyway, glad to find this group!

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