Re: Help - School - Quick Changes

[Guest guest]

My son qualified for P3 tutoring from the board of Ed. It's doing miracles because It's a one on one tutor. She is teaching him subjects equal to more of his grade level, yet on his pace. He is doing so well, that I decided it's worth pulling him out of class for the tutor! If you have one on one, who cares if others call it special ed... Let them teach him how to dissect a frog... or whatever catches his fancy.

BestMomBrooklyn!*******"It doesn't matter what the label is, it matters what you do with it!"

[Guest guest]

>

> My son qualified for P3 tutoring from the board of Ed.

That's great! Unfortunately I'm in Texas though. I've never heard of

P3 tutoring, but upon looking it up, it appears to be a New York

thing. I don't know if a one-on-one tutor is what my son needs. He

doesn't have problems learning things as much as following

directions--everything from individual assignments to whole

assignments to day-to-day " rules " --and organizing work. If he isn't

in a positive and dependable environment, he isn't in a frame of mind

to work. It is kind of like it is an environment, teaching style

issue. He needs someone who can figure out when he's stuck and give

him prompts simply to ask for help. For some reason it helps him when

he is given more choice in what he does. He needs things put in

unconditional language (in a nice way, mind you!) or he thinks it

isn't necessary to do things.

And somehow he needs to learn to manage on his own...

Ruth

[Guest guest]

Ruth,

WOW you sound like your son is in the same situation as mine. Same

age as well. My son started high school this year and it has been a

real challenge.

My son like your is very bright but no motivation, says he is bored

and it is close to impossible to get him to do homework. He was

diagnosed with ADD in 4th grade I had further testing done in 8th

grade and Asperger's was suggested. The 8th grade experience was bad

until his 504 plan was put in place and they provided a tutor once a

day to sit and help him focus on homework. The high school plan does

not include this kind of help, they say they don't have time or a

person to do it. They are supposed to track his progress and let me

know of grade problems. He just came home and told me he has a 22 in

English on his progress report yet no contact has been made by the

school. I have put in a call and an e-mail to his teacher with no

response yet. Anyway I guess I am not helping you much with your

situation except to say you are not alone. I feel the school has

dropped the ball with my son who is very gifted in many areas - he

has 100 grade average in electronics of course. I am planning to look

for couseling and possibly a tutor he can see maybe twice a week. I

know there are private schools out there dedicated to boys like ours

unfortunately the cost is outrageous.

Question- how is your son with the hygeine issue? My son HATES to

shower and will do anything to avoid it.

Understanding in CT - Sue

[Guest guest]

Ruth,

Your son sounds so much like Dylan! I've thought that before, but this post just sounds familiar to me

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: r_woman2 <me2ruth@...> Sent: Saturday, February 7, 2009 7:54:43 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Help - School - Quick Changes

>> My son qualified for P3 tutoring from the board of Ed. That's great! Unfortunately I'm in Texas though. I've never heard ofP3 tutoring, but upon looking it up, it appears to be a New Yorkthing. I don't know if a one-on-one tutor is what my son needs. Hedoesn't have problems learning things as much as followingdirections-- everything from individual assignments to wholeassignments to day-to-day "rules"--and organizing work. If he isn'tin a positive and dependable environment, he isn't in a frame of mindto work. It is kind of like it is an environment, teaching styleissue. He needs someone who can figure out when he's stuck and givehim prompts simply to ask for

help. For some reason it helps him whenhe is given more choice in what he does. He needs things put inunconditional language (in a nice way, mind you!) or he thinks itisn't necessary to do things.And somehow he needs to learn to manage on his own...Ruth

[Guest guest]

>

> Ruth,

> Your�son sounds so much like Dylan!� I've thought that before, but

this post just sounds familiar to me

Yes, and my son also has a very good sense of humor with some of the

same little issues you are finding about ability to read the vibes

when it is appropriate to be joking. He's had teachers get very angry

with him when they don't believe/understand how he can't " read " people

and they think he's intentionally goading them when he keeps joking

around when all the other kids stop. And he doesn't even notice and

will insist everybody else was joking around too and doesn't

understand why the teacher is only angry at him. That hasn't

happened, that I've been told about anyway, in a couple of years

though. He's 14 to Dylan's 12.

Ruth

[Guest guest]

My son is exactly like this too! He is not brillant but far from being dumb...just doesn't want to do homework, write or any school stuff. Boring. He is bored all day in school. He just brought his report card home and he failed ART (65). Now how can you fail art? Of course no one told me this ahead of time so I am going to make a big Stink! My son has an IEP and part of this IEP is communication with the teachers and he is allowed to retake any tests if he gets a 70 or below.

If I were you I would see about getting a IEP instead of a 504. IEP's are legal documents that the school has to follow. And, if not then you can make BIG waves.

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: sue.russo <sue.russo@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Help - School - Quick Changes Date: Sunday, February 8, 2009, 8:46 AM

Ruth,WOW you sound like your son is in the same situation as mine. Same age as well. My son started high school this year and it has been a real challenge.My son like your is very bright but no motivation, says he is bored and it is close to impossible to get him to do homework. He was diagnosed with ADD in 4th grade I had further testing done in 8th grade and Asperger's was suggested. The 8th grade experience was bad until his 504 plan was put in place and they provided a tutor once a day to sit and help him focus on homework. The high school plan does not include this kind of help, they say they don't have time or a person to do it. They are supposed to track his progress and let me know of grade problems. He just came home and told me he has a 22 in English on his progress report yet no contact has been made by the school. I have put in a call and an e-mail to his teacher with no

response yet. Anyway I guess I am not helping you much with your situation except to say you are not alone. I feel the school has dropped the ball with my son who is very gifted in many areas - he has 100 grade average in electronics of course. I am planning to look for couseling and possibly a tutor he can see maybe twice a week. I know there are private schools out there dedicated to boys like ours unfortunately the cost is outrageous.Question- how is your son with the hygeine issue? My son HATES to shower and will do anything to avoid it.Understanding in CT - Sue

[Guest guest]

The high school needs to find the time to provide what he needs. It is wrong to remove something that works just because the high school doesn't want to do it. They should figure out how to make it work. Especially now when he is not doing very well without the supports in place he used to have. They have to provide the same level of help as he rec'd in middle school if that is what he needs. Just because it is high school doesn't mean they can stop or get out of providing something. They like to act that way. But they are as obligated to provide appropriate services as any school.

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

( ) Re: Help - School - Quick Changes

Ruth,WOW you sound like your son is in the same situation as mine. Same age as well. My son started high school this year and it has been a real challenge.My son like your is very bright but no motivation, says he is bored and it is close to impossible to get him to do homework. He was diagnosed with ADD in 4th grade I had further testing done in 8th grade and Asperger's was suggested. The 8th grade experience was bad until his 504 plan was put in place and they provided a tutor once a day to sit and help him focus on homework. The high school plan does not include this kind of help, they say they don't have time or a person to do it. They are supposed to track his progress and let me know of grade problems. He just came home and told me he has a 22 in English on his progress report yet no contact has been made by the school. I have put in a call and an e-mail to his teacher with no response yet. Anyway I guess I am not helping you much with your situation except to say you are not alone. I feel the school has dropped the ball with my son who is very gifted in many areas - he has 100 grade average in electronics of course. I am planning to look for couseling and possibly a tutor he can see maybe twice a week. I know there are private schools out there dedicated to boys like ours unfortunately the cost is outrageous.Question- how is your son with the hygeine issue? My son HATES to shower and will do anything to avoid it.Understanding in CT - Sue

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[Guest guest]

I would state at the meeting that we need to focus on ability vs. achievement which is what the purpose of these tests is all about. Use charts and graphs - maybe these folks are visual learners? lol. Bring printouts of your "talking points" to pass out and when they balk, hand out your paperwork/data, dismiss their complaint and move on to the point. If you have trouble doing this, bring or hire an advocate to come with you and help you. They are often experienced in how to handle groups of hostile and inflexible people. You could also bring in an outside psychologist to help discuss these things. I would also go up the food chain until I found someone with a brain. When I have met with inflexibility, I start looking around to other people who might be helpful or look over that person's head.

I find the best way to bypass this sort of nonsense is to answer to it completely once and move on. By this I mean assemble the data that proves your point vs theirs. Data means so much so use it - make copies of reports, studies, important people in the field and what they say, etc. Personalize it and show how it relates to your ds and the here and now. Assemble copies of his work that shows the problem, or copies of teacher notes or a date book with your notes. Provide copies of relevant information to hand out to people. Anticipate the problems they will come up with against what you are trying to say. Answer those in advance so you are prepared for this at the meeting.

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

( ) Help - School - Quick Changes

The point I'm trying to make--according to IDEA they are not supposedto be using an arbitrary measure such as grades at grade level todetermine academic disability--but schools often do since it works formost SPED kids. I'm trying to get them to understand this is notappropriate for him. This is very ingrained in our school district.I'd love to hear from anyone who's been through something similar. Itmight help to hear what they do at the private therapeutic schools inhigh school, I don't know.Thanks in advance!Ruth

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