Advocates and their place in the process (was: E. , Sr.)

[Guest guest]

I think it can help to have a free advocate attend meetings. Anytime you can bring in people who know the law and who are there to help and witness, it stacks the deck in your favor. I think in Jan's situation, she has just recently started advocating for her ds at school. The situation is so bad because the staff has "done their own thing" in the past without being called on it. I know personally that she has already gotten a lot accomplished for him in these past few months but there is still a ways to go, to be sure. Plus, I think he hit the "age/stage" where problems suddenly show up and multiply. It is harder to suddenly implement the kinds of supports she needs for him at this age. Especially when they do not have a good system in place already that she can tap into. She is having to dig the path on her own. That takes time and effort.

Being an advocate isn't a matter of waving a wand for an instant fix of the problems, whether you are a paid one or not. It is a process. You are facing a bureaucracy and trying to get staff to change their ways. This is not an overnight kind of thing. It takes work and effort to make it happen. There are so many factors to work with. I've done this kind of work before for free myself and it is a lot of work, really. People usually need help when they are having major problems already so you do not walk into a nice friendly atmostphere with people anxious to make it all work. It's usually a hostile place and they resent you as the advocate for daring to even breath the same air. lol. People usually need a lawyer by the time they find an advocate. But they can't afford the lawyer. So they have a free advocate. I think you can accomplish a lot sometimes this way. It depends on the situation and the people, as everything will.

Anyway, anytime you can have someone go with you to meetings, I would recommend you do that. Even if it's a neighbor who knows nothing about sped law - you have a witness, someone to take notes for you, to help you explain things, to help you notice things. I have gone to a lot of IEP meetings with people before, sometimes just for moral support. I also take killer notes. :-) I notice things that many parents don't notice in the heat of the meeting. And I type up my notes and send them to the parents afterwards.

I've paid for a lawyer before, an advocate before and had friends and free advocates as well. The least helpful was really the paid advocate. She was not very forceful with the staff and I felt I could have done as well on my own. So we just never used her again. One time a high school student with AS was having major problems at school and they were jerking the parents around. So we got together as a large group of concerned parents and we all attended the meeting. We outnumbered the staff for a change. lol. And I think having us all there did help cause them to want to fix the problem peacefully, which they did that next week.

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

Re: ( ) E. , Sr. Was: Child with Autism Arrested-- and all

>> I know my advocates who are great ...do not charge a darn cent!� Idid donate some money for her business cards and bought them lunch onetime. I'm going to be the devil's advocate here. If they are so great,why is your son in such a bad place? Personally, I can't see that the"free" advocates can do anything I can't, maybe less. And being aworking mom with two fairly severely disabled people in the family, Ireally don't have the time to waste. I'm not convinced!Ruth

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[Guest guest]

What a wonderful posts Roxanna and so so true. You are 100% correct about bringing someone ...anyone....as they can be a witness....I will never forget in 5th grade, the Principle told me they were preparing my son for high school (that is why they felt he should not be supported so much..Ha Ha..) and when we went to the next meeting and i repeated what she said ....she said...I never said that ...I said 7th grade. OMG...another LIE. They even lied and signed the cover page of his IEP...they squeezed in a lined on the orginal ....stating we had a meeting....I should have asked where the signed sheet was for that meeting...the attendance sheet.

I have used my 2 advocates in the past and then felt I was okay on my own as his support teacher and case manager was really good....but we are back battling again and thus...I called in my forces. I was going to go to my next IEP alone...but my advocate said ...NO YOU ARE NOT! So, we pushed it back another week. The school seems to do so many wrong things and the last one you could see the supervisor was sweating bullets ...he wanted to print something out and have us sign and my advocate said...we are not signing anything today.

It is such a learning process...I have learned so much from this site, from my advocates, from the teachers at my school and from 's law. At one point in 5th grade, I called the State Education Dept. and they were going to call the school on my behalf as they moved my son w/out a meeting or signed NOREP.

I found my advocates to be strong and they fight for me. They do it for the children...not for money...they do it because they are dedicated to helping children with special needs.

I donate money when I can for their gas and all....but never once did they ask me for anything!!! God Bless them. They are so supportive 24/7.

jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: Roxanna <madideas@...>Subject: ( ) Advocates and their place in the process (was: E. , Sr.) Date: Monday, February 23, 2009, 10:59 AM

I think it can help to have a free advocate attend meetings. Anytime you can bring in people who know the law and who are there to help and witness, it stacks the deck in your favor. I think in Jan's situation, she has just recently started advocating for her ds at school. The situation is so bad because the staff has "done their own thing" in the past without being called on it. I know personally that she has already gotten a lot accomplished for him in these past few months but there is still a ways to go, to be sure. Plus, I think he hit the "age/stage" where problems suddenly show up and multiply. It is harder to suddenly implement the kinds of supports she needs for him at this age. Especially when they do not have a good system in place already that she can tap into. She is having to dig the path on her own. That takes time and effort.

Being an advocate isn't a matter of waving a wand for an instant fix of the problems, whether you are a paid one or not. It is a process. You are facing a bureaucracy and trying to get staff to change their ways. This is not an overnight kind of thing. It takes work and effort to make it happen. There are so many factors to work with. I've done this kind of work before for free myself and it is a lot of work, really. People usually need help when they are having major problems already so you do not walk into a nice friendly atmostphere with people anxious to make it all work. It's usually a hostile place and they resent you as the advocate for daring to even breath the same air. lol. People usually need a lawyer by the time they find an advocate. But they can't afford the lawyer. So they have a free advocate. I think you can

accomplish a lot sometimes this way. It depends on the situation and the people, as everything will.

Anyway, anytime you can have someone go with you to meetings, I would recommend you do that. Even if it's a neighbor who knows nothing about sped law - you have a witness, someone to take notes for you, to help you explain things, to help you notice things. I have gone to a lot of IEP meetings with people before, sometimes just for moral support. I also take killer notes. :-) I notice things that many parents don't notice in the heat of the meeting. And I type up my notes and send them to the parents afterwards.

I've paid for a lawyer before, an advocate before and had friends and free advocates as well. The least helpful was really the paid advocate. She was not very forceful with the staff and I felt I could have done as well on my own. So we just never used her again. One time a high school student with AS was having major problems at school and they were jerking the parents around. So we got together as a large group of concerned parents and we all attended the meeting. We outnumbered the staff for a change. lol. And I think having us all there did help cause them to want to fix the problem peacefully, which they did that next week.

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

Re: ( ) E. , Sr. Was: Child with Autism Arrested-- and all

>> I know my advocates who are great ...do not charge a darn cent!� Idid donate some money for her business cards and bought them lunch onetime. I'm going to be the devil's advocate here. If they are so great,why is your son in such a bad place? Personally, I can't see that the"free" advocates can do anything I can't, maybe less. And being aworking mom with two fairly severely disabled people in the family, Ireally don't have the time to waste. I'm not convinced!Ruth

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.0.237 / Virus Database: 270.10.25/1955 - Release Date: 02/16/09 06:55:00