Guest guest Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008 Jan, I definitely think you need to sit down and make a schedule and no, I don't think you are complaining too much. It would bug me to have this going on and I would complain too! Yes, I think you should expect to have these appointments scheduled in advance. You shouldn't have to run out on a moment's notice. You have to decide what time you need for you - for cleaning the house, reading a book, vegging out, etc. You could do it several ways really - take a few days off per week from all therapies and tutoring. Or you could say, "No therapy before 3 pm" or something like that. Think about how you want to make it work. This is YOUR life too! One thing that might help is to try and get each appt at the same time each week so you can get into a routine. I would also try to get your ds used to being out without you having to be there. If he is at the park for 3 hours, you could have 3 hours to yourself! It's too bad the therapist can't drive him to the park. Maybe the therapist could play at your house sometimes - play catch, teach him to throw a frisbee, etc. He doesn't have to always be at the park to get outside, unless you don't have a yard. RoxannaAutism Happens ( ) Re: torn Date: Saturday, July 26, 2008, 3:10 PM Robin and Donna,It appears I'm in the same 'boat' as you two. My 18 yr old son soundsvery much like Robin's. And, like Donna, our son loves to travel onfamily vacations.I struggle with feeling sad that he doesn't socialize, other thanfamily and church and, rarely, someone his own age group. It waseasier in high school as it was a very small school and he belonged tothe academic team and such. But this first year of college has beenrough. I had always hoped he'd find it easier by the time he got tocollege.At the same time, I'm not sure he 'misses' socializing. He enjoys hisown company and reads, has a strict exercise routine (yes,OCD-ish) ,and loves his animals. And like Robin mentioned, he doesn't get those'mild freak-outs' after forced social situations.How do you ever know if you are doing the right thing? We have justdecided to stay informed, pray/meditate and have faith that it willunfold as it should.And I am grateful for this comforting forum.sue> > > I just gotta say one thing.....and I hope this comes out right. I > > get how this thread is talking about exposing our kids to all kind > > of experiences so that they can learn to deal and cope.......> >> > But,,,,,is there anyone out there, other than us, that has let their > > child just "be" and seen good things?> >> > We not only pulled him from traditional school for this last > > grade,,,,,,, but I don't put him in anything he doesn't want to try.> >> > He goes to the pool when he wants....or stays home if he doesnt' > > want to go. He rides bikes......or not. He takes our dog for a > > walk with his ltl sis,,,,,,,,, or not. We go to church.> >> > We visit friends..... ......... ..some days are hermit- > > days......others are wonderful.> > He doesn't freak like he used to,,,,as if he was "coming down" from > > interaction or having to keep it "together" all day.> >> > He talks to us. He's calmer.> > I guess we took a different approach.... .in a way. Maybe it was > > because the social stuff he "got" was all negative,,,, ,that we saw > > that not everyone enjoys being social.....> >> > I love to stay home. Love to see friends,,,but love to get home.> > Not all of us have "social" jobs........ .........> >> > So,,,,,I'm wondering if anyone else just lets their kid "be" with AS > > and doesn't try to mold it into something better for them. (Please > > don't take that wrong......cause I struggle from time to time with > > whether we should still be going to therapists, etc. I stopped > > them, too, cause we were told to always be "getting out there" and > > playing with more and more other kids to get experience on how to > > "be". We saw that Ian was nicer than most of the kids we were > > supposed to put him with. Sure,,,,,,,he talked aobut his > > games.....whatever, ,,,, but he was nicer. Ick.> >> > Anyway,,,,I hope I didn't offend. Just wondering if there were > > "others" like us.> >> > Hee hee.> >> >> > Robin> >> > Normal is just a cycle on a washing machine!! Ta semester! - sök efter resor hos Kelkoo. Jämför pris på flygbiljetter och hotellrum: http://www.kelkoo. se/c-169901- resor-biljetter. html No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.6/1577 - Release Date: 7/28/2008 6:55 AM Sök efter kärleken! Hitta din tvillingsjäl på Dejting: http://se.meetic. .net No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.6/1579 - Release Date: 7/29/2008 6:43 AM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008 Jan, I also wanted to add that you can change providers. When we first got the diagnosis and didn't know any better, our first BSC was horrible and in fact is now being investigated for potential fraud. She was supposed to be seeing Gage 4 hrs a week which included home and community and she was only seeing Gage at school yet we were signing off on the paperwork which we shouldn't have done. So if you are not happy with the caseworker you can switch providers which is what one of my friends did who had this same BSC. Roxanna is right when she said that this is your life and it should revolve around your schedule. It does for us. I have the apptmts for the next 3 weeks for the caseworker and TSS and what is planned. The times were done around my schedule and not theirs! Sue From: Sue Ann <iamgr8fulgmail (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Re: torn Date: Saturday, July 26, 2008, 3:10 PM Robin and Donna,It appears I'm in the same 'boat' as you two. My 18 yr old son soundsvery much like Robin's. And, like Donna, our son loves to travel onfamily vacations.I struggle with feeling sad that he doesn't socialize, other thanfamily and church and, rarely, someone his own age group. It waseasier in high school as it was a very small school and he belonged tothe academic team and such. But this first year of college has beenrough. I had always hoped he'd find it easier by the time he got tocollege.At the same time, I'm not sure he 'misses' socializing. He enjoys hisown company and reads, has a strict exercise routine (yes,OCD-ish) ,and loves his animals. And like Robin mentioned, he doesn't get those'mild freak-outs' after forced social situations.How do you ever know if you are doing the right thing? We have justdecided to stay informed, pray/meditate and have faith that it willunfold as it should.And I am grateful for this comforting forum.sue> > > I just gotta say one thing.....and I hope this comes out right. I > > get how this thread is talking about exposing our kids to all kind > > of experiences so that they can learn to deal and cope.......> >> > But,,,,,is there anyone out there, other than us, that has let their > > child just "be" and seen good things?> >> > We not only pulled him from traditional school for this last > > grade,,,,,,, but I don't put him in anything he doesn't want to try.> >> > He goes to the pool when he wants....or stays home if he doesnt' > > want to go. He rides bikes......or not. He takes our dog for a > > walk with his ltl sis,,,,,,,,, or not. We go to church.> >> > We visit friends..... ......... ..some days are hermit- > > days......others are wonderful.> > He doesn't freak like he used to,,,,as if he was "coming down" from > > interaction or having to keep it "together" all day.> >> > He talks to us. He's calmer.> > I guess we took a different approach.... .in a way. Maybe it was > > because the social stuff he "got" was all negative,,,, ,that we saw > > that not everyone enjoys being social.....> >> > I love to stay home. Love to see friends,,,but love to get home.> > Not all of us have "social" jobs........ .........> >> > So,,,,,I'm wondering if anyone else just lets their kid "be" with AS > > and doesn't try to mold it into something better for them. (Please > > don't take that wrong......cause I struggle from time to time with > > whether we should still be going to therapists, etc. I stopped > > them, too, cause we were told to always be "getting out there" and > > playing with more and more other kids to get experience on how to > > "be". We saw that Ian was nicer than most of the kids we were > > supposed to put him with. Sure,,,,,,,he talked aobut his > > games.....whatever, ,,,, but he was nicer. Ick.> >> > Anyway,,,,I hope I didn't offend. Just wondering if there were > > "others" like us.> >> > Hee hee.> >> >> > Robin> >> > Normal is just a cycle on a washing machine!! Ta semester! - sök efter resor hos Kelkoo. Jämför pris på flygbiljetter och hotellrum: http://www.kelkoo. se/c-169901- resor-biljetter. html No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.6/1577 - Release Date: 7/28/2008 6:55 AM Sök efter kärleken! Hitta din tvillingsjäl på Dejting: http://se.meetic. .net No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.6/1579 - Release Date: 7/29/2008 6:43 AM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008 Yes...I agree...this is all so new to me and at first they were not giving me the amount allowed and now they want to give it but I guess I feel it is always on Their time! I think you are right...I need to set limits.....I don't like running alot especially at the last minute and I do need time away from him...so I am going t see if I can leave them at the park ...my son needs to be away from me and I need time to! Thanks! Janice Rushen Mom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant, Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board Artist Nanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt, Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide, Student, Believer, and Giver. From: Sue Ann <iamgr8fulgmail (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Re: torn Date: Saturday, July 26, 2008, 3:10 PM Robin and Donna,It appears I'm in the same 'boat' as you two. My 18 yr old son soundsvery much like Robin's. And, like Donna, our son loves to travel onfamily vacations.I struggle with feeling sad that he doesn't socialize, other thanfamily and church and, rarely, someone his own age group. It waseasier in high school as it was a very small school and he belonged tothe academic team and such. But this first year of college has beenrough. I had always hoped he'd find it easier by the time he got tocollege.At the same time, I'm not sure he 'misses' socializing. He enjoys hisown company and reads, has a strict exercise routine (yes,OCD-ish) ,and loves his animals. And like Robin mentioned, he doesn't get those'mild freak-outs' after forced social situations.How do you ever know if you are doing the right thing? We have justdecided to stay informed, pray/meditate and have faith that it willunfold as it should.And I am grateful for this comforting forum.sue> > > I just gotta say one thing.....and I hope this comes out right. I > > get how this thread is talking about exposing our kids to all kind > > of experiences so that they can learn to deal and cope.......> >> > But,,,,,is there anyone out there, other than us, that has let their > > child just "be" and seen good things?> >> > We not only pulled him from traditional school for this last > > grade,,,,,,, but I don't put him in anything he doesn't want to try.> >> > He goes to the pool when he wants....or stays home if he doesnt' > > want to go. He rides bikes......or not. He takes our dog for a > > walk with his ltl sis,,,,,,,,, or not. We go to church.> >> > We visit friends..... ......... ..some days are hermit- > > days......others are wonderful.> > He doesn't freak like he used to,,,,as if he was "coming down" from > > interaction or having to keep it "together" all day.> >> > He talks to us. He's calmer.> > I guess we took a different approach.... .in a way. Maybe it was > > because the social stuff he "got" was all negative,,,, ,that we saw > > that not everyone enjoys being social.....> >> > I love to stay home. Love to see friends,,,but love to get home.> > Not all of us have "social" jobs........ .........> >> > So,,,,,I'm wondering if anyone else just lets their kid "be" with AS > > and doesn't try to mold it into something better for them. (Please > > don't take that wrong......cause I struggle from time to time with > > whether we should still be going to therapists, etc. I stopped > > them, too, cause we were told to always be "getting out there" and > > playing with more and more other kids to get experience on how to > > "be". We saw that Ian was nicer than most of the kids we were > > supposed to put him with. Sure,,,,,,,he talked aobut his > > games.....whatever, ,,,, but he was nicer. Ick.> >> > Anyway,,,,I hope I didn't offend. Just wondering if there were > > "others" like us.> >> > Hee hee.> >> >> > Robin> >> > Normal is just a cycle on a washing machine!! Ta semester! - sök efter resor hos Kelkoo. Jämför pris på flygbiljetter och hotellrum: http://www.kelkoo. se/c-169901- resor-biljetter. html No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.6/1577 - Release Date: 7/28/2008 6:55 AM Sök efter kärleken! Hitta din tvillingsjäl på Dejting: http://se.meetic. .net No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.6/1579 - Release Date: 7/29/2008 6:43 AM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008 Oh...I am so glad it is not just me...I started keeping a track of his hours...and he was giving my son maybe 5 a week ....and he was allowed 15....I have no idea what he billed but I did call the director...then the BSC said they were looking for someone new ...but then I got a call...they were going to schedule things more....and that if I was availabe the TSS would come from 4-7....then the TSs calls....want to meet me at the park...a good idea but ...I have to run...not such a great thing. So, I think when his BSC comes tomorrow at 1:00....I am going to sit down and talk about this. We need to schedule ahead of time but also make it more convenient for me....I think they are pushing me to get my son more into the community. The TSS said I should go to MH/MR and see what is available....he should not be just hanging out at the house on the computer and Xbox all day. ...which is true. I was think of telling the TSS ...we will be going to the pool M-W-Fri...weather permitting...from 12-4 and that he could work with my son there...and see how he does....I also want to get the mobile therapist to wrok maybe later that day or earlier...but sometimes it just seems too much ...he gets overloaded. And, on top of this...I just found a great math tutor who is goning to come on Tuesdays at 3. But a schedule is a must I see....and I need to get him on a sleeping schedule too! He went to bed at 4 a.m. this morning. I think we are all out of whack.... And, speaking of bedtimes and sleeping ...I need help!!!!!!! He was sleeping on the floor in the hang out room....but has slowly worked his way back into my bed....I know...it is bad on my part....I am going to tell my husband...he needs to enforce a lot of new things...and I know we are going to have melt downs ....so I may need ya all.... If any of you have any suggestions for a 13 year old..help!!!! He wants to be like all the other teens in the neighborhood ...stay up at night and sleep in....but the BSC, MT and TSS ...said no ...it is not good for him in that when school comes he is going to have a very difficult time adjusting. I am so totally confused. Right now he is playing guitar hero with the 15 year old and two girls. I feel deep down that maybe they are using him....but he is so happy ....and the 15 year old has been with him since he was about 7 years old. And, he may 15 ...but he definitely is very shy and awkward around kids his own age...so I think this is why my son gets along with him. Oh....who knew parenting would be this difficult..... Any suggestions/ideas/ help! Jan Janice Rushen Mom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant, Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board Artist Nanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt, Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide, Student, Believer, and Giver. From: Sue Ann <iamgr8fulgmail (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Re: torn Date: Saturday, July 26, 2008, 3:10 PM Robin and Donna,It appears I'm in the same 'boat' as you two. My 18 yr old son soundsvery much like Robin's. And, like Donna, our son loves to travel onfamily vacations.I struggle with feeling sad that he doesn't socialize, other thanfamily and church and, rarely, someone his own age group. It waseasier in high school as it was a very small school and he belonged tothe academic team and such. But this first year of college has beenrough. I had always hoped he'd find it easier by the time he got tocollege.At the same time, I'm not sure he 'misses' socializing. He enjoys hisown company and reads, has a strict exercise routine (yes,OCD-ish) ,and loves his animals. And like Robin mentioned, he doesn't get those'mild freak-outs' after forced social situations.How do you ever know if you are doing the right thing? We have justdecided to stay informed, pray/meditate and have faith that it willunfold as it should.And I am grateful for this comforting forum.sue> > > I just gotta say one thing.....and I hope this comes out right. I > > get how this thread is talking about exposing our kids to all kind > > of experiences so that they can learn to deal and cope.......> >> > But,,,,,is there anyone out there, other than us, that has let their > > child just "be" and seen good things?> >> > We not only pulled him from traditional school for this last > > grade,,,,,,, but I don't put him in anything he doesn't want to try.> >> > He goes to the pool when he wants....or stays home if he doesnt' > > want to go. He rides bikes......or not. He takes our dog for a > > walk with his ltl sis,,,,,,,,, or not. We go to church.> >> > We visit friends..... ......... ..some days are hermit- > > days......others are wonderful.> > He doesn't freak like he used to,,,,as if he was "coming down" from > > interaction or having to keep it "together" all day.> >> > He talks to us. He's calmer.> > I guess we took a different approach.... .in a way. Maybe it was > > because the social stuff he "got" was all negative,,,, ,that we saw > > that not everyone enjoys being social.....> >> > I love to stay home. Love to see friends,,,but love to get home.> > Not all of us have "social" jobs........ .........> >> > So,,,,,I'm wondering if anyone else just lets their kid "be" with AS > > and doesn't try to mold it into something better for them. (Please > > don't take that wrong......cause I struggle from time to time with > > whether we should still be going to therapists, etc. I stopped > > them, too, cause we were told to always be "getting out there" and > > playing with more and more other kids to get experience on how to > > "be". We saw that Ian was nicer than most of the kids we were > > supposed to put him with. Sure,,,,,,,he talked aobut his > > games.....whatever, ,,,, but he was nicer. Ick.> >> > Anyway,,,,I hope I didn't offend. Just wondering if there were > > "others" like us.> >> > Hee hee.> >> >> > Robin> >> > Normal is just a cycle on a washing machine!! Ta semester! - sök efter resor hos Kelkoo. Jämför pris på flygbiljetter och hotellrum: http://www.kelkoo. se/c-169901- resor-biljetter. html No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.6/1577 - Release Date: 7/28/2008 6:55 AM Sök efter kärleken! Hitta din tvillingsjäl på Dejting: http://se.meetic. .net No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.6/1579 - Release Date: 7/29/2008 6:43 AM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008 Sue, If I'm not mistaken, isn't that suppose to be relief for the parents ? like giving the parents a break ? I know when I have respite, I get to spend one on one quality time with my daughter. doing all the therapies & traveling is time consuming. tutors too. so the respite worker is suppose to give the family a break - AND IT DOES !!!!!....I get to listen to my daughters interest, go out together, take her to a movie, etc...and my son is also having a great time too. Jan sounds more exhausted with her TSS worker than if she didn't have one.. Maybe she should request a person that can p/u and d/o her child. like someone posted, maybe because of his ins. or gas prices, he wants her to meet him. Sue <susiejones58@...> wrote: Jan, I also wanted to add that you can change providers. When we first got the diagnosis and didn't know any better, our first BSC was horrible and in fact is now being investigated for potential fraud. She was supposed to be seeing Gage 4 hrs a week which included home and community and she was only seeing Gage at school yet we were signing off on the paperwork which we shouldn't have done. So if you are not happy with the caseworker you can switch providers which is what one of my friends did who had this same BSC. Roxanna is right when she said that this is your life and it should revolve around your schedule. It does for us. I have the apptmts for the next 3 weeks for the caseworker and TSS and what is planned. The times were done around my schedule and not theirs! Sue From: Sue Ann <iamgr8fulgmail (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Re: torn Date: Saturday, July 26, 2008, 3:10 PM Robin and Donna,It appears I'm in the same 'boat' as you two. My 18 yr old son soundsvery much like Robin's. And, like Donna, our son loves to travel onfamily vacations.I struggle with feeling sad that he doesn't socialize, other thanfamily and church and, rarely, someone his own age group. It waseasier in high school as it was a very small school and he belonged tothe academic team and such. But this first year of college has beenrough. I had always hoped he'd find it easier by the time he got tocollege.At the same time, I'm not sure he 'misses' socializing. He enjoys hisown company and reads, has a strict exercise routine (yes,OCD-ish) ,and loves his animals. And like Robin mentioned, he doesn't get those'mild freak-outs' after forced social situations.How do you ever know if you are doing the right thing? We have justdecided to stay informed, pray/meditate and have faith that it willunfold as it should.And I am grateful for this comforting forum.sue> > > I just gotta say one thing.....and I hope this comes out right. I > > get how this thread is talking about exposing our kids to all kind > > of experiences so that they can learn to deal and cope.......> >> > But,,,,,is there anyone out there, other than us, that has let their > > child just "be" and seen good things?> >> > We not only pulled him from traditional school for this last > > grade,,,,,,, but I don't put him in anything he doesn't want to try.> >> > He goes to the pool when he wants....or stays home if he doesnt' > > want to go. He rides bikes......or not. He takes our dog for a > > walk with his ltl sis,,,,,,,,, or not. We go to church.> >> > We visit friends..... ......... ..some days are hermit- > > days......others are wonderful.> > He doesn't freak like he used to,,,,as if he was "coming down" from > > interaction or having to keep it "together" all day.> >> > He talks to us. He's calmer.> > I guess we took a different approach.... .in a way. Maybe it was > > because the social stuff he "got" was all negative,,,, ,that we saw > > that not everyone enjoys being social.....> >> > I love to stay home. Love to see friends,,,but love to get home.> > Not all of us have "social" jobs........ .........> >> > So,,,,,I'm wondering if anyone else just lets their kid "be" with AS > > and doesn't try to mold it into something better for them. (Please > > don't take that wrong......cause I struggle from time to time with > > whether we should still be going to therapists, etc. I stopped > > them, too, cause we were told to always be "getting out there" and > > playing with more and more other kids to get experience on how to > > "be". We saw that Ian was nicer than most of the kids we were > > supposed to put him with. Sure,,,,,,,he talked aobut his > > games.....whatever, ,,,, but he was nicer. Ick.> >> > Anyway,,,,I hope I didn't offend. Just wondering if there were > > "others" like us.> >> > Hee hee.> >> >> > Robin> >> > Normal is just a cycle on a washing machine!! Ta semester! - sök efter resor hos Kelkoo. Jämför pris på flygbiljetter och hotellrum: http://www.kelkoo. se/c-169901- resor-biljetter. html No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.6/1577 - Release Date: 7/28/2008 6:55 AM Sök efter kärleken! Hitta din tvillingsjäl på Dejting: http://se.meetic. .net No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.6/1579 - Release Date: 7/29/2008 6:43 AM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008 Oh, rose, thanks...I am EXHAUSTED!!!!!!! This is more difficult than when I am working in the school...LOL! I have to sit with the BSC and talk and if not ...make an appt. with the director. And, I do like them and they are good at what they do...but we will either have to make longer periods of time...like 4 hours at the pool...or just do less hours. I am tired!!! For 2 days now I have not had a minute to myself...I have not cleaned, cooked or read and I was posting last night late. In fact...i think my nerves are fried and I started crying. I am beginning to think ..this is too much for me...maybe I would be better with nothing but they are helping me with my parenting skills.... jan Janice Rushen Mom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant, Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board Artist Nanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt, Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide, Student, Believer, and Giver. From: Sue Ann <iamgr8fulgmail (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Re: torn Date: Saturday, July 26, 2008, 3:10 PM Robin and Donna,It appears I'm in the same 'boat' as you two. My 18 yr old son soundsvery much like Robin's. And, like Donna, our son loves to travel onfamily vacations.I struggle with feeling sad that he doesn't socialize, other thanfamily and church and, rarely, someone his own age group. It waseasier in high school as it was a very small school and he belonged tothe academic team and such. But this first year of college has beenrough. I had always hoped he'd find it easier by the time he got tocollege.At the same time, I'm not sure he 'misses' socializing. He enjoys hisown company and reads, has a strict exercise routine (yes,OCD-ish) ,and loves his animals. And like Robin mentioned, he doesn't get those'mild freak-outs' after forced social situations.How do you ever know if you are doing the right thing? We have justdecided to stay informed, pray/meditate and have faith that it willunfold as it should.And I am grateful for this comforting forum.sue> > > I just gotta say one thing.....and I hope this comes out right. I > > get how this thread is talking about exposing our kids to all kind > > of experiences so that they can learn to deal and cope.......> >> > But,,,,,is there anyone out there, other than us, that has let their > > child just "be" and seen good things?> >> > We not only pulled him from traditional school for this last > > grade,,,,,,, but I don't put him in anything he doesn't want to try.> >> > He goes to the pool when he wants....or stays home if he doesnt' > > want to go. He rides bikes......or not. He takes our dog for a > > walk with his ltl sis,,,,,,,,, or not. We go to church.> >> > We visit friends..... ......... ..some days are hermit- > > days......others are wonderful.> > He doesn't freak like he used to,,,,as if he was "coming down" from > > interaction or having to keep it "together" all day.> >> > He talks to us. He's calmer.> > I guess we took a different approach.... .in a way. Maybe it was > > because the social stuff he "got" was all negative,,,, ,that we saw > > that not everyone enjoys being social.....> >> > I love to stay home. Love to see friends,,,but love to get home.> > Not all of us have "social" jobs........ .........> >> > So,,,,,I'm wondering if anyone else just lets their kid "be" with AS > > and doesn't try to mold it into something better for them. (Please > > don't take that wrong......cause I struggle from time to time with > > whether we should still be going to therapists, etc. I stopped > > them, too, cause we were told to always be "getting out there" and > > playing with more and more other kids to get experience on how to > > "be". We saw that Ian was nicer than most of the kids we were > > supposed to put him with. Sure,,,,,,,he talked aobut his > > games.....whatever, ,,,, but he was nicer. Ick.> >> > Anyway,,,,I hope I didn't offend. Just wondering if there were > > "others" like us.> >> > Hee hee.> >> >> > Robin> >> > Normal is just a cycle on a washing machine!! Ta semester! - sök efter resor hos Kelkoo. Jämför pris på flygbiljetter och hotellrum: http://www.kelkoo. se/c-169901- resor-biljetter. html No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.6/1577 - Release Date: 7/28/2008 6:55 AM Sök efter kärleken! Hitta din tvillingsjäl på Dejting: http://se.meetic. .net No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.6/1579 - Release Date: 7/29/2008 6:43 AM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008 Hi Rose, Yes, there is respite care which is to give the parents a break to do what they would like but a TSS works under the BSC who makes up a treatment plan with daily and longterm goals. The goals can be very simple but the goals should be written so the child will and I am not sure how to say this but the idea is that no child should ever really reach the goals and I am not using the correct terminology here but If the child did reach the goals, then the services would be terminated. So it has to be carefully written. Sue. From: Sue Ann <iamgr8fulgmail (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Re: torn Date: Saturday, July 26, 2008, 3:10 PM Robin and Donna,It appears I'm in the same 'boat' as you two. My 18 yr old son soundsvery much like Robin's. And, like Donna, our son loves to travel onfamily vacations.I struggle with feeling sad that he doesn't socialize, other thanfamily and church and, rarely, someone his own age group. It waseasier in high school as it was a very small school and he belonged tothe academic team and such. But this first year of college has beenrough. I had always hoped he'd find it easier by the time he got tocollege.At the same time, I'm not sure he 'misses' socializing. He enjoys hisown company and reads, has a strict exercise routine (yes,OCD-ish) ,and loves his animals. And like Robin mentioned, he doesn't get those'mild freak-outs' after forced social situations.How do you ever know if you are doing the right thing? We have justdecided to stay informed, pray/meditate and have faith that it willunfold as it should.And I am grateful for this comforting forum.sue> > > I just gotta say one thing.....and I hope this comes out right. I > > get how this thread is talking about exposing our kids to all kind > > of experiences so that they can learn to deal and cope.......> >> > But,,,,,is there anyone out there, other than us, that has let their > > child just "be" and seen good things?> >> > We not only pulled him from traditional school for this last > > grade,,,,,,, but I don't put him in anything he doesn't want to try.> >> > He goes to the pool when he wants....or stays home if he doesnt' > > want to go. He rides bikes......or not. He takes our dog for a > > walk with his ltl sis,,,,,,,,, or not. We go to church.> >> > We visit friends..... ......... ..some days are hermit- > > days......others are wonderful.> > He doesn't freak like he used to,,,,as if he was "coming down" from > > interaction or having to keep it "together" all day.> >> > He talks to us. He's calmer.> > I guess we took a different approach.... .in a way. Maybe it was > > because the social stuff he "got" was all negative,,,, ,that we saw > > that not everyone enjoys being social.....> >> > I love to stay home. Love to see friends,,,but love to get home.> > Not all of us have "social" jobs........ .........> >> > So,,,,,I'm wondering if anyone else just lets their kid "be" with AS > > and doesn't try to mold it into something better for them. (Please > > don't take that wrong......cause I struggle from time to time with > > whether we should still be going to therapists, etc. I stopped > > them, too, cause we were told to always be "getting out there" and > > playing with more and more other kids to get experience on how to > > "be". We saw that Ian was nicer than most of the kids we were > > supposed to put him with. Sure,,,,,,,he talked aobut his > > games.....whatever, ,,,, but he was nicer. Ick.> >> > Anyway,,,,I hope I didn't offend. Just wondering if there were > > "others" like us.> >> > Hee hee.> >> >> > Robin> >> > Normal is just a cycle on a washing machine!! Ta semester! - sök efter resor hos Kelkoo. Jämför pris på flygbiljetter och hotellrum: http://www.kelkoo. se/c-169901- resor-biljetter. html No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.6/1577 - Release Date: 7/28/2008 6:55 AM Sök efter kärleken! Hitta din tvillingsjäl på Dejting: http://se.meetic. .net No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.6/1579 - Release Date: 7/29/2008 6:43 AM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008 I got ya! I am going to talk tomorrow to the BSC and see what we can fine tune.... thanks jan Janice Rushen Mom, Mentor, Wife, Teacher, Advocate, Accountant, Maid, Taxi, Shopper, Bulletin Board Artist Nanny, Crafter, Therapist, Friend, Sister, Aunt, Daughter, Grand-daughter, Personal Care Aide, Student, Believer, and Giver. From: Sue Ann <iamgr8fulgmail (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Re: torn Date: Saturday, July 26, 2008, 3:10 PM Robin and Donna,It appears I'm in the same 'boat' as you two. My 18 yr old son soundsvery much like Robin's. And, like Donna, our son loves to travel onfamily vacations.I struggle with feeling sad that he doesn't socialize, other thanfamily and church and, rarely, someone his own age group. It waseasier in high school as it was a very small school and he belonged tothe academic team and such. But this first year of college has beenrough. I had always hoped he'd find it easier by the time he got tocollege.At the same time, I'm not sure he 'misses' socializing. He enjoys hisown company and reads, has a strict exercise routine (yes,OCD-ish) ,and loves his animals. And like Robin mentioned, he doesn't get those'mild freak-outs' after forced social situations.How do you ever know if you are doing the right thing? We have justdecided to stay informed, pray/meditate and have faith that it willunfold as it should.And I am grateful for this comforting forum.sue> > > I just gotta say one thing.....and I hope this comes out right. I > > get how this thread is talking about exposing our kids to all kind > > of experiences so that they can learn to deal and cope.......> >> > But,,,,,is there anyone out there, other than us, that has let their > > child just "be" and seen good things?> >> > We not only pulled him from traditional school for this last > > grade,,,,,,, but I don't put him in anything he doesn't want to try.> >> > He goes to the pool when he wants....or stays home if he doesnt' > > want to go. He rides bikes......or not. He takes our dog for a > > walk with his ltl sis,,,,,,,,, or not. We go to church.> >> > We visit friends..... ......... ..some days are hermit- > > days......others are wonderful.> > He doesn't freak like he used to,,,,as if he was "coming down" from > > interaction or having to keep it "together" all day.> >> > He talks to us. He's calmer.> > I guess we took a different approach.... .in a way. Maybe it was > > because the social stuff he "got" was all negative,,,, ,that we saw > > that not everyone enjoys being social.....> >> > I love to stay home. Love to see friends,,,but love to get home.> > Not all of us have "social" jobs........ .........> >> > So,,,,,I'm wondering if anyone else just lets their kid "be" with AS > > and doesn't try to mold it into something better for them. (Please > > don't take that wrong......cause I struggle from time to time with > > whether we should still be going to therapists, etc. I stopped > > them, too, cause we were told to always be "getting out there" and > > playing with more and more other kids to get experience on how to > > "be". We saw that Ian was nicer than most of the kids we were > > supposed to put him with. Sure,,,,,,,he talked aobut his > > games.....whatever, ,,,, but he was nicer. Ick.> >> > Anyway,,,,I hope I didn't offend. Just wondering if there were > > "others" like us.> >> > Hee hee.> >> >> > Robin> >> > Normal is just a cycle on a washing machine!! Ta semester! - sök efter resor hos Kelkoo. Jämför pris på flygbiljetter och hotellrum: http://www.kelkoo. se/c-169901- resor-biljetter. html No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.6/1577 - Release Date: 7/28/2008 6:55 AM Sök efter kärleken! Hitta din tvillingsjäl på Dejting: http://se.meetic. .net No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.6/1579 - Release Date: 7/29/2008 6:43 AM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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