Re: SPED teacher questions

[Guest guest]

First off don't assume she knows more about all this stuff than you because there are plenty of SPED teachers who are used to working with the physically disabled or severe downs syndrome and the like who don't have a clue when it comes to autism/aspergers.  It might work to have her connect with the teacher with the sped teacher who will be helping with the organizational stuff for your son since she might be able to help with organizing in the math class.  You should definitely find out what methods they will be using to help your son with the executive function area because the techniques for some methods (like ROPES for instance) can be used to help him become more self directing as he gets older.  It will also help with his social skills and home tasks if you are able to make use of the same type teaching and organizing skills.  

 

At the ROPES training I recently attended, the trainer mentioned that one of the kid she worked with called some of the worksheet/diagramming stuff social math.

 

I would definitely contact the teacher at least to introduce yourself and find out what sorts of things she is giving your son.  Some teachers teach skills, others mother hen and at the end of the day your child will need the chance to learn some tools to work around the executive functioning deficits.

 

Kathy J. 

On 3/21/09, r_woman2 <me2ruth@...> wrote:

Hi all. I am having a new experience that I'm not sure what to do with. I want to make sure I'm making the most of it. My son has been progressing through the accommodation chain--nothing--informal--RTI--504--now probably IEP pretty soon. They haven't been waiting on the SPED eval to finish to start experimenting with placement. I guess that means he is back in RTI and they just haven't said anything to me. But I digress. So, I have two new things I'm not sure what to do with.

....(stuff deleted)

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[Guest guest]

>

> You should definitely find out what methods

> they will be using to help your son with the executive function area because

> the techniques for some methods (like ROPES for instance) can be used to

> help him become more self directing as he gets older.

I tried to look this up and couldn't find anything (ROPES). Do you have a link?

Thanks!

Ruth

[Guest guest]

Here is a link to the site for the trainer I went to.  Her name is Patty Schetter.  I guess it is R.O.P.E.S.  

http://www.autismandbehavior.com/about.htmMy son and I have been using some of the things from the course to help him figure out what all steps need to happen for something to be 'complete.' and how to 'interview' a friend to find out what things you have in common with each other (so that when you meet your friend again you have topics of mutual interest to bring up.)

 

Kathy J. 

[Guest guest]

>

> Here is a link to the site for the trainer I went to. Her name is Patty

> Schetter. I guess it is R.O.P.E.S.

> http://www.autismandbehavior.com/about.htm

I gave this another try, but I think this is a specific name given by a specific

therapy center for their specific treatment. Might be a good thing to check out

if you live in California!

Ruth

[Guest guest]

Well, some of the things it involved were using Venn Diagrams to map out commonalities.  Also   this is the book they handed out at the training.  Our regional center paid for me and another mom to go.

 

http://www.specialneeds.com/books.asp?id=26076

 

Kathy J. 

On 3/21/09, r_woman2 <me2ruth@...> wrote:

>> Here is a link to the site for the trainer I went to. Her name is Patty> Schetter. I guess it is R.O.P.E.S.> http://www.autismandbehavior.com/about.htm

I gave this another try, but I think this is a specific name given by a specific therapy center for their specific treatment. Might be a good thing to check out if you live in California!Ruth

[Guest guest]

>

> Well, some of the things it involved were using Venn Diagrams to map out

> commonalities. Also this is the book they handed out at the training.

> Our regional center paid for me and another mom to go.

>

> http://www.specialneeds.com/books.asp?id=26076

>

> Kathy J.

Oh, OK, well I know where you're coming from then. I imagine it is similar to

other things I've read/experimented on executive functioning. I'm very

visual-spatial myself, and have been mind-mapping naturally on my own from a

very early age (not that I called it that!). Although my aspie doesn't appear

to be as visual-spatial as many. I actually think he may have a visual

processing issue, although it hasn't shown up on any formal testing. He has

problems processing things like fast food menus and worksheets, etc. He has

never shown any inclination at all to use the visual-spatial tools often used to

combat executive dysfunction. The school knows about that though. They focus

on doing everything in bulleted lists with plenty of white space.

Ruth

[Guest guest]

It depends on the teacher really. Some want to know and want to discuss. Others wish you would go away. lol. I have felt that as my ds got older, there was less interest in having me around to discuss anything. By high school, I got the, "Why are you here?" kind of look. Once in high school a jerk asked, "What are you afraid of?" as if I had no business being there asking questions. They really were not used to having a parent who showed up and wanted to know what was going on. Well, too bad. It's my kid's life we are discussing so they have to adjust. But they actively avoided including me in the process in the high school and it seemed to be a common thing to not allow parents in the process as much as possible. But they have the worst sped programming of all and my kid ended up having to be tutored outside of that school. So I kind of relate those things to eachother. I don't know how other parents have felt with high school and how well they want to involve the parent but that was my experience.

So anyway, usually at a meeting I would get every detail discussed. If your meetings are too long or there are people who you think might talk more outside of a formal meeting, then contact people individually between meetings. That is my general "rule of thumb." I know some people discuss having 3 or 4 hour IEP meetings and that is so tedious for everyone. In that case, I say there is a communication problem going on. So many things can be discussed and decided before the meeting.

If it's a small problem, I will contact the teacher or sped teacher. If it's a growing larger every minute problem, I would call a mini meeting with basic teachers and if it's a huge problem, the full throttle meeting with everyone and their lawyer's puppy.

I guess you will have to design your own plan based on your style and your need to find out. One thing is a good idea - to find a "contact person" at the school who can help you with things like this. Often times, it is the sped teacher. But it might also be a counselor or principal or anyone who can run interference or answer your many questions. I usually would go to the sped teacher when I had a question big or small. If I didn't get what I needed, I would then start going up the food chain.

But I would not be too shy about calling for appt's with people. The 504 dude should just chill out, IMO. lol. If he was doing his job, he wouldn't have to worry about what people are saying to you when he's not there. OTOH, sometimes you find out amazing information by talking to people 1-1.

I would not be overly worried about their feelings - any of them. They are being paid to do a job. Be polite and be sure to praise anyone who is doing a great job when you see it. Schools have their own "culture" to be sure. And sometimes you just work with what you have. But bottom line, it is your job as the parent to see to it that your ds gets an appropriate education and is learning. If 504 man gets upset and says somethig to you, I would act surprised (which you will be because you don't intend to do anything to upset anyone) and just say, "I'm sorry, I didn't know this would bother anyone...I needed to find out....blah blah blah...so I just asked this person because...." Follow up with a letter to apologize again and it will also document what a needy little guy he is. lol.

Roxanna

The government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases:If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it.And if it stops moving, subsidize it. Reagan

Re: ( ) SPED teacher questions

>> First, as to what is happening in the morning. I would call a team meeting and have them explain what is going on. My problem is that there are so many people involved I don't know where to start. We just had a team meeting about 4 weeks ago, then they made this change with the morning meeting with the SPED teacher and I found out about the math co-teacher right afterwards. Neither thing was discussed in the meeting. But, it's like, do I call a meeting with his core teachers so I can get a more detailed report from them (if I do, must I invite other people--who?), do I call another 504 team meeting--only one teacher is on the 504 team, do I talk to specific teachers and individuals since this doesn't really involve everyone? How is the 504 coordinator going to react if I try to talk to people without him being there--do I really HAVE to have him at every meeting LOL. He's so afraid they are going to discuss something my son has no right to (regarding his having a 504 rather than an IEP). Anyway, I'm trying to decide if I need to break this down into multiple meetings or what, and how exactly to break it down. I guess this is what I get for not having meetings often enough. Now there is too much to discuss. I'm trying to tell myself better late than never.But, still I'm spinning my wheels on where to start, what to prioritize first.> Ditto as to what is working. You need to know what problems he is having to judge whether he is getting the appropriate help to learn or if it's just as bad as last year, etc. So ask them, "How often does he need help with that?" and other good questions. Make a list before your meeting.Yes, and it is not that this has not been discussed. After all, that is why he has been referred to the Autism Team. I just didn't feel like I got detailed enough feedback. I guess it is up to me to schedule a separate meeting just with his teachers to get more feedback from them? I guess you have to schedule both 504/IEP meetings for more general decision-making, then other meetings with all the teachers for hammering out the details? I guess this is something I need to experiment with. See how well it works.> Thank them for their time/attention/helpful advice (whatever) and then just like you wrote down what he needs in that class, I would list those things for her. I think this is a good idea. Maybe keep this separate from the above issue since none of it is official. I'm thinking of putting the focus on my wanting to know what they are doing so I can support it at home. That kind of gives me a reason for contacting them besides to make demands. > Tell her he is going through evaluation right now and ask her to jot down her thoughts. She might have some helpful info to add since she is there in the room with him. Another good idea!I have some thinking to do. This gets me started though, I think.By the way, right after the 504 meeting, I invited the core teachers to meet with me to discuss any concerns. I did this mainly because it wasn't clear the one teacher at the meeting really had all her concerns addressed, and she brought up some good issues that nobody else did, I'm sure because she is right there with him every day, and I think we could have a good conversation. But, I got no response. So, I guess it is up to me to take the initiative and take leadership. Of course, it is always kind of that way, but I'm always disappointed in the lack of real interest. I don't think I'll ever get used to that.Ruth

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.0.238 / Virus Database: 270.11.24/2018 - Release Date: 03/23/09 06:52:00

[Guest guest]

>

> It depends on the teacher really. Some want to know and want to discuss.

Others wish you would go away. lol. I have felt that as my ds got older, there

was less interest in having me around to discuss anything.

Yes, exactly. I guess this is what is making me realize I need to switch

strategies somewhat. They keep saying things like how they want to make him

accountable, not thinking about if he is not in a place where that is going to

happen that I am the one they are making accountable. I passed 8th grade a long

time ago, and I don't think I really need these lessons.

> They really were not used to having a parent who showed up and wanted to know

what was going on. Well, too bad. It's my kid's life we are discussing so they

have to adjust.

LOL. This is pretty much how I feel. Don't you get tired of always having to

be the one taking all the initiative to communicate?

> But they actively avoided including me in the process in the high school and

it seemed to be a common thing to not allow parents in the process as much as

possible. ... I don't know how other parents have felt with high school and

how well they want to involve the parent but that was my experience.

To me, they are sort of contradictory. The teachers want to be able to do their

own thing and just deal with the kids, but the curriculum these days is designed

with parental support in mind. The principal at our high school tells parents

to stay involved, but what goes on day to day doesn't really match up. The

e-mail newsletters every week are nice, but it is still very hard to find out

enough day to day information to be able to coach your child in study skills.

> So anyway, usually at a meeting I would get every detail discussed. If your

meetings are too long or there are people who you think might talk more outside

of a formal meeting, then contact people individually between meetings.

This makes me feel good because this is how I try to be. I'm better at the

one-on-one discussions outside of meetings. I need to work on taking better

advantage of meetings. And I find myself slacking when I get really pissed at

them--or maybe discouraged is a better word.

> I guess you will have to design your own plan based on your style and your

need to find out. One thing is a good idea - to find a " contact person " at the

school who can help you with things like this.

I do this somewhat, as much as I can. It's never really one person and depends

on what is being discussed. I can't say as I've ever found anyone wanting to be

like a go-to person who wanted to serve a consultant role. It has been more a

matter getting to know who is good at answering what questions or handling what

type of situation, getting out the pliers, and proceeding to pull teeth. But I

know what you mean; a lot of advocating is constantly networking, checking all

the new people out and experimenting with the ones you already know.

> But I would not be too shy about calling for appt's with people.

I'm glad to hear you say that. I guess I must have a problem with this since

I'm hesitating. Or maybe I just need to think through who I want to ask what

more.

> The 504 dude should just chill out, IMO. lol.

Yes, he really does LOL. He's actually gotten a lot more relaxed than last

year, which was his first year as 504 coordinator.

> If 504 man gets upset and says somethig to you, I would act surprised (which

you will be because you don't intend to do anything to upset anyone) and just

say, " I'm sorry, I didn't know this would bother anyone...I needed to find

out....blah blah blah...so I just asked this person because.... " Follow up with

a letter to apologize again and it will also document what a needy little guy he

is. lol.

I like this.

Ruth

[Guest guest]

I am reading a really interesting book right now that you might like. (Kids in the syndrome mix of ADHD, LD, Asperger's, Tourette's, bipolar, and more! : the one stop guide for parents, teachers, and other professionals by Kutscher, L.) I got it at the library. I am only in the first 1/3 of the book, but already this guy is saying things I say, which hey - it means he knows what he's doing. LOL! <GG> Seriously, though, it tends to validate what I'm thinking and how I am viewing the situation when a professional person is on the same page. Also, I can pick up nifty new ways to say things so they sound more "Important" and "smart." <GG>

I tend to downplay things in my natural "voice" so it's really tough for me to walk in and say things are bad or my kid needs help. I think to some extent, we'd all rather believe our kid didn't need this help and we are eager to embrace their idea of "It's not that bad" and "Let him alone, he has to learn..." and all that nonsense. Then you read a book like this and he writes how parents know what they are talking about, how we notice the problems and even having someone help you explain what you mean by using phrases or key words that educators will be using is helpful. I will be taking notes from this book, then doing some research to add to it, before my next meeting about my youngest. I will just jot down key points, organize them and be prepared to discuss each area of need that way.

I am shy about calling people and especially when I am going to have to push my ideas on someone who I know will not come down my path willingly. So you aren't alone in this. It's not easy! I know sometimes we answer questions on the list and make it sound like, "Well, just do that." as if it's all so simple to do that! But it isn't simple. The answer might be simple. lol. But the doing is not simple. So I hope I don't make it seem like I am saying that. I told you already I am having to ask for help for my youngest and you know what - a miracle occurred. As soon as I walk in to ask about the problems, the problems disappear. lol. It is amazing how that works sometimes. The teacher can nag and complain all year but the minute you decide it's no longer a passing phase and he needs specific help and request testing ($$$), they suddenly don't know why you think this is a problem. ugh. It's like I'm going to a dance and I don't wanna dance cause I've already been to this dance and I don't like it. They play the wrong music and I'm tired. I want to pencil myself in and skip it. lol. WAH!

Ok, whine time over and now I will chase down my other darling and force feed some learning to him....I mean, e-school him. Yeah. lol.

Roxanna

The government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases:If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it.And if it stops moving, subsidize it. Reagan

( ) Re: SPED teacher questions

>> It depends on the teacher really. Some want to know and want to discuss. Others wish you would go away. lol. I have felt that as my ds got older, there was less interest in having me around to discuss anything. Yes, exactly. I guess this is what is making me realize I need to switch strategies somewhat. They keep saying things like how they want to make him accountable, not thinking about if he is not in a place where that is going to happen that I am the one they are making accountable. I passed 8th grade a long time ago, and I don't think I really need these lessons. > They really were not used to having a parent who showed up and wanted to know what was going on. Well, too bad. It's my kid's life we are discussing so they have to adjust. LOL. This is pretty much how I feel. Don't you get tired of always having to be the one taking all the initiative to communicate?> But they actively avoided including me in the process in the high school and it seemed to be a common thing to not allow parents in the process as much as possible. ... I don't know how other parents have felt with high school and how well they want to involve the parent but that was my experience. To me, they are sort of contradictory. The teachers want to be able to do their own thing and just deal with the kids, but the curriculum these days is designed with parental support in mind. The principal at our high school tells parents to stay involved, but what goes on day to day doesn't really match up. The e-mail newsletters every week are nice, but it is still very hard to find out enough day to day information to be able to coach your child in study skills.> So anyway, usually at a meeting I would get every detail discussed. If your meetings are too long or there are people who you think might talk more outside of a formal meeting, then contact people individually between meetings. This makes me feel good because this is how I try to be. I'm better at the one-on-one discussions outside of meetings. I need to work on taking better advantage of meetings. And I find myself slacking when I get really pissed at them--or maybe discouraged is a better word. > I guess you will have to design your own plan based on your style and your need to find out. One thing is a good idea - to find a "contact person" at the school who can help you with things like this. I do this somewhat, as much as I can. It's never really one person and depends on what is being discussed. I can't say as I've ever found anyone wanting to be like a go-to person who wanted to serve a consultant role. It has been more a matter getting to know who is good at answering what questions or handling what type of situation, getting out the pliers, and proceeding to pull teeth. But I know what you mean; a lot of advocating is constantly networking, checking all the new people out and experimenting with the ones you already know.> But I would not be too shy about calling for appt's with people. I'm glad to hear you say that. I guess I must have a problem with this since I'm hesitating. Or maybe I just need to think through who I want to ask what more.> The 504 dude should just chill out, IMO. lol. Yes, he really does LOL. He's actually gotten a lot more relaxed than last year, which was his first year as 504 coordinator. > If 504 man gets upset and says somethig to you, I would act surprised (which you will be because you don't intend to do anything to upset anyone) and just say, "I'm sorry, I didn't know this would bother anyone...I needed to find out....blah blah blah...so I just asked this person because...." Follow up with a letter to apologize again and it will also document what a needy little guy he is. lol. I like this. :)Ruth

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.0.238 / Virus Database: 270.11.24/2018 - Release Date: 03/23/09 06:52:00

[Guest guest]

>

> I am reading a really interesting book right now that you might like. (Kids

in the syndrome mix of ADHD, LD, Asperger's, Tourette's, bipolar, and more! :

the one stop guide for parents, teachers, and other professionals by Kutscher,

L.) I got it at the library. I am only in the first 1/3 of the book,

but already this guy is saying things I say, which hey - it means he knows what

he's doing. LOL! <GG> Seriously, though, it tends to validate what I'm

thinking and how I am viewing the situation when a professional person is on the

same page. Also, I can pick up nifty new ways to say things so they sound more

" Important " and " smart. " <GG>

LOL. This is what I do too. Heaven help if certain people found out you

initially learned some of these things from a book though! I've learned to

emphasize that I talk to professionals--I just don't mention that it was about

something else.

Ruth

[Guest guest]

Dear Roxanna,

I wonder, is the book you're reading "ADHD Book; Living Right Now!"?

I just put the author's name in Amazon books, and this is what it came up with. Have I found the right book?

I so appreciate your words of wisdom, and vast experience, and can empathize so with what you wrote below. My little girl has yet to be properly assessed for Asperger's (though we have the Ed Psych's opinion, and we know she's right) and we are already finding out what a battle it can be finding help for Joanna!

Look forward to having a reply.

Thanks in advance.

From: Roxanna <madideas@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: SPED teacher questions Date: Wednesday, 25 March, 2009, 6:47 PM

I am reading a really interesting book right now that you might like. (Kids in the syndrome mix of ADHD, LD, Asperger's, Tourette's, bipolar, and more! : the one stop guide for parents, teachers, and other professionals by Kutscher, L.) I got it at the library. I am only in the first 1/3 of the book, but already this guy is saying things I say, which hey - it means he knows what he's doing. LOL! <GG> Seriously, though, it tends to validate what I'm thinking and how I am viewing the situation when a professional person is on the same page. Also, I can pick up nifty new ways to say things so they sound more "Important" and "smart." <GG>

I tend to downplay things in my natural "voice" so it's really tough for me to walk in and say things are bad or my kid needs help. I think to some extent, we'd all rather believe our kid didn't need this help and we are eager to embrace their idea of "It's not that bad" and "Let him alone, he has to learn..." and all that nonsense. Then you read a book like this and he writes how parents know what they are talking about, how we notice the problems and even having someone help you explain what you mean by using phrases or key words that educators will be using is helpful. I will be taking notes from this book, then doing some research to add to it, before my next meeting about my youngest. I will just jot down key points, organize them and be prepared to discuss each area of need that way.

I am shy about calling people and especially when I am going to have to push my ideas on someone who I know will not come down my path willingly. So you aren't alone in this. It's not easy! I know sometimes we answer questions on the list and make it sound like, "Well, just do that." as if it's all so simple to do that! But it isn't simple. The answer might be simple. lol. But the doing is not simple. So I hope I don't make it seem like I am saying that. I told you already I am having to ask for help for my youngest and you know what - a miracle occurred. As soon as I walk in to ask about the problems, the problems disappear. lol. It is amazing how that works sometimes. The teacher can nag and complain all year but the minute you decide it's no longer a passing phase and he needs specific help and request testing ($$$), they suddenly don't

know why you think this is a problem. ugh. It's like I'm going to a dance and I don't wanna dance cause I've already been to this dance and I don't like it. They play the wrong music and I'm tired. I want to pencil myself in and skip it. lol. WAH!

Ok, whine time over and now I will chase down my other darling and force feed some learning to him....I mean, e-school him. Yeah. lol.

Roxanna

The government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases:If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it.And if it stops moving, subsidize it. Reagan

( ) Re: SPED teacher questions

>> It depends on the teacher really. Some want to know and want to discuss. Others wish you would go away. lol. I have felt that as my ds got older, there was less interest in having me around to discuss anything. Yes, exactly. I guess this is what is making me realize I need to switch strategies somewhat. They keep saying things like how they want to make him accountable, not thinking about if he is not in a place where that is going to happen that I am the one they are making accountable. I passed 8th grade a long time ago, and I don't think I really need these lessons. > They really were not used to having a parent who showed up and wanted to know what was going on. Well, too bad. It's my kid's life we are discussing so they have to adjust. LOL.

This is pretty much how I feel. Don't you get tired of always having to be the one taking all the initiative to communicate?> But they actively avoided including me in the process in the high school and it seemed to be a common thing to not allow parents in the process as much as possible. ... I don't know how other parents have felt with high school and how well they want to involve the parent but that was my experience. To me, they are sort of contradictory. The teachers want to be able to do their own thing and just deal with the kids, but the curriculum these days is designed with parental support in mind. The principal at our high school tells parents to stay involved, but what goes on day to day doesn't really match up. The e-mail newsletters every week are nice, but it is still very hard to find out enough day to day information to be able to coach your child in study skills.> So anyway, usually at a meeting I would

get every detail discussed. If your meetings are too long or there are people who you think might talk more outside of a formal meeting, then contact people individually between meetings. This makes me feel good because this is how I try to be. I'm better at the one-on-one discussions outside of meetings. I need to work on taking better advantage of meetings. And I find myself slacking when I get really pissed at them--or maybe discouraged is a better word. > I guess you will have to design your own plan based on your style and your need to find out. One thing is a good idea - to find a "contact person" at the school who can help you with things like this. I do this somewhat, as much as I can. It's never really one person and depends on what is being discussed. I can't say as I've ever found anyone wanting to be like a go-to person who wanted to serve a consultant role. It has been more a matter getting to know who is good at

answering what questions or handling what type of situation, getting out the pliers, and proceeding to pull teeth. But I know what you mean; a lot of advocating is constantly networking, checking all the new people out and experimenting with the ones you already know.> But I would not be too shy about calling for appt's with people. I'm glad to hear you say that. I guess I must have a problem with this since I'm hesitating. Or maybe I just need to think through who I want to ask what more.> The 504 dude should just chill out, IMO. lol. Yes, he really does LOL. He's actually gotten a lot more relaxed than last year, which was his first year as 504 coordinator. > If 504 man gets upset and says somethig to you, I would act surprised (which you will be because you don't intend to do anything to upset anyone) and just say, "I'm sorry, I didn't know this would bother anyone...I needed to find out....blah blah

blah...so I just asked this person because...." Follow up with a letter to apologize again and it will also document what a needy little guy he is. lol. I like this. :)Ruth

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.0.238 / Virus Database: 270.11.24/2018 - Release Date: 03/23/09 06:52:00

[Guest guest]



Hi ! No, that's not the book. Click on this and it should take you to the book I am reading --> http://tinyurl.com/cy9rzb

Roxanna

The government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases:If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it.And if it stops moving, subsidize it. Reagan

( ) Re: SPED teacher questions

>> It depends on the teacher really. Some want to know and want to discuss. Others wish you would go away. lol. I have felt that as my ds got older, there was less interest in having me around to discuss anything. Yes, exactly. I guess this is what is making me realize I need to switch strategies somewhat. They keep saying things like how they want to make him accountable, not thinking about if he is not in a place where that is going to happen that I am the one they are making accountable. I passed 8th grade a long time ago, and I don't think I really need these lessons. > They really were not used to having a parent who showed up and wanted to know what was going on. Well, too bad. It's my kid's life we are discussing so they have to adjust. LOL. This is pretty much how I feel. Don't you get tired of always having to be the one taking all the initiative to communicate?> But they actively avoided including me in the process in the high school and it seemed to be a common thing to not allow parents in the process as much as possible. ... I don't know how other parents have felt with high school and how well they want to involve the parent but that was my experience. To me, they are sort of contradictory. The teachers want to be able to do their own thing and just deal with the kids, but the curriculum these days is designed with parental support in mind. The principal at our high school tells parents to stay involved, but what goes on day to day doesn't really match up. The e-mail newsletters every week are nice, but it is still very hard to find out enough day to day information to be able to coach your child in study skills.> So anyway, usually at a meeting I would get every detail discussed. If your meetings are too long or there are people who you think might talk more outside of a formal meeting, then contact people individually between meetings. This makes me feel good because this is how I try to be. I'm better at the one-on-one discussions outside of meetings. I need to work on taking better advantage of meetings. And I find myself slacking when I get really pissed at them--or maybe discouraged is a better word. > I guess you will have to design your own plan based on your style and your need to find out. One thing is a good idea - to find a "contact person" at the school who can help you with things like this. I do this somewhat, as much as I can. It's never really one person and depends on what is being discussed. I can't say as I've ever found anyone wanting to be like a go-to person who wanted to serve a consultant role. It has been more a matter getting to know who is good at answering what questions or handling what type of situation, getting out the pliers, and proceeding to pull teeth. But I know what you mean; a lot of advocating is constantly networking, checking all the new people out and experimenting with the ones you already know.> But I would not be too shy about calling for appt's with people. I'm glad to hear you say that. I guess I must have a problem with this since I'm hesitating. Or maybe I just need to think through who I want to ask what more.> The 504 dude should just chill out, IMO. lol. Yes, he really does LOL. He's actually gotten a lot more relaxed than last year, which was his first year as 504 coordinator. > If 504 man gets upset and says somethig to you, I would act surprised (which you will be because you don't intend to do anything to upset anyone) and just say, "I'm sorry, I didn't know this would bother anyone...I needed to find out....blah blah blah...so I just asked this person because...." Follow up with a letter to apologize again and it will also document what a needy little guy he is. lol. I like this. :)Ruth

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