Re: overstimulated: limits school and camps is there a treatment?

[Guest guest]

>

> If an AS child is overhelmed by the setting does medication help?

> And what medication is there for being overwhelmed?

This comes under the buzz word of " anxiety " . If there is a clinical level of

anxiety, yes, there are meds. Of course, there are different ones and you and a

psychiatrist would need to decide what is the best fit for your daughter.

> Is it typical that she is so limited even in the summer?

FWIW I will tell you a story about how this went with my AS son, now 14. I used

to " make " him do activities etc like all the other kids in his off time. I

worked really hard to find camps (yes, half day worked best) and sports (early

on, gymnastics, later, swimming) that he could at least always tolerate and

sometimes enjoy. Not that that was all bad.

HOWEVER, starting the summer after 6th grade, we had a smaller budget and I

couldn't afford all this stuff. Much to my surprise, he actually thrived on

" doing nothing " . He made a lot of progression in a lot of ways on his own. For

example, he increased his diet considerably--this was the summer he finally

stopped being mainly vegetarian. There were also other OT-type things that he

did for the first time. Compared to NT kids, these results were small, but for

him they were big.

So, this was where I learned my son knew more about what he needs than I gave

him credit for. He is able to learn new things his own way on his own time. I

don't have to keep pushing him into " new experiences " , e.g. organized camps and

sports, for him to learn.

Not that I wouldn't want him to do " any " of that organized stuff. But I can see

now that AS kids don't necessarily need too much of it.

And I would add that not doing organized activities doesn't mean you just sit at

home and hang out. You replace that with a home program and work on things that

your child needs to work on--relationships, non-verbal communication,

coordination issues if your child has that, social skills, etc.

Something to think about is what kind of relationship you're going to have with

your daughter in the long run if you keep spending a large portion of the time

you have with your daughter making her do things she doesn't want to do.

BTDT--not good!

Also, on the camps, if she is pining away at these things just waiting to get

home to do her own thing, perhaps you have not found the right camp. There are

so many camps out there; try to find one that touches on some of her special

interests. My aspie actually liked and asked to go to a half-day camp near our

home run by a community college. They had " classes " a little over an hour long

each that were like the elective classes one has in school except better and

much more variety. They had everything from specific sports like tennis and

karate to all kinds of arts and crafts, writing workshops, chess, fun things

like " girl stuff " and " boy stuff " that were mainly social clubs. My aspie

looked everything over the first year and took the same 3 classes every

year--chess, cartooning/caricature and writing workshop.

There are a lot of different ways one can go in treating anxiety. It has really

helped my son to back off and let him build his own life and skills in his own

time and way. This has not halted his progress. And I don't mean that we don't

do interventions, but we let his anxiety levels guide when to forge ahead and

when to back off a lot more than we used to. What you can do is do things WITH

her, effectively doing things FOR her that she doesn't want to do. If you keep

doing this with her, over time she'll get comfortable with the process and take

over doing more and more herself, not necessarily in any order. This is

actually a type of intervention called collaborative learning. It works very

well with my son.

OK, I'm kind of rambling. Hope this was helpful!

Ruth

[Guest guest]

Ruth you are a wealth of information. Thank you so much.

I don't know why I have such a hard time understanding anxiety as too much

stimulation. If that is the case her anxiety is very high.

She is so lonely I have to address this somehow. I did find sewing and gardening

camps and she enjoyed them last summer. But then after a week the girls were

gone and different ones signed up. And this change was hard for her. We did join

a RV campground on the weekends and she plays with very young children. She is

11 and they are often 5 or 6. This may feel a void again this summer or she may

find them to young.

You summed up your son's activities and progress in a way that

sounded so appropriate. So healthy for him. I pleased to read about your son's

progress. I don't have that confidence. My daughters anxiety and loneliness

makes me think I am not on the right track yet.

How is your son coping at school? My daughter is classifed under IEP. And has

in class support. But still the stress is very high.

She is very overwhelmed with the demands. I can see by her grades she is working

very hard to keep up and she behaves well except for difficuty transitoning,

these issues the teachers understand. She is hyperfocusing throughout the day

to regulate herself. She is not socializing much due to all this hyperfocusing

she does. She will read books or doodle in any free time to block out movement

and noise as students move around. She does this hyperfocusing even at home with

us, so this may be a way of coping with life.

Ruth your input was filled with hope about the stepwise progress your son is

making. It was good to read.

thanks again Ruth!

Pam

[Guest guest]

We had the exact same problems. We mainstreamed K-3 with the help of a para. It just didn't work for us. This year he has his own classroom with one on one instruction. He has made fantastic progression. He still attends special things in the classroom and goes to special activities such as music but his para stays with him and he is allowed to leave if needed. He is so much more relaxed and loves school. We had a autism specialists come into our school last year and these were her recommendations. We have never done any camps. We live in a small community and there are no organizations that would accomadate him. Hope this helps and good luck.

Lori

From: susanonderko <susanonderko@...>Subject: ( ) overstimulated: limits school and camps is there a treatment? Date: Friday, March 20, 2009, 9:46 PM

My daughter is 11 and has always been very very anxious to go to school and often tardy. After school she has an outburst directed at mefor making her go to school. She is too fatigued to do homework. She is mainstreamed with support. Has a fair IEP. During the summer she can only manage with a 1/2 day camp (slow pace) and then wants to get home to her interests. If an AS child is overhelmed by the setting does medication help?And what medication is there for being overwhelmed? Is it typical that she is so limited even in the summer? Thank you so much for any input. Pam ------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

I can relate with my daughter, altho she is not reacting as severely. She is 10 w/new dx of ADHD, but borderline for depression and anxiety on the testing that was done. She had panic attacks over school when she was in 2nd grade and after 3 months she just sort of got over it, but was still visibly nervous about being away from us. Now when we try to get her into activities like swim team, she starting having meltdowns afterward. Last year she was in a play at school and the few weeks of rehearsals were fun for her, but she was miserable afterschool. She dreads having a sitter come to the house, so we rarely leaver her. She was supposed to be in a spelling bee this comint week, and after some rotten behavior she admitted that she was having bad stage fright and wanted to drop out. I wrote a note to excuse her and the teacher's aide was a bit rude, telling her that she is lettting the team down. Since when is a spelling bee a team thing? Anyway, she can't handle it right now. She doesn't have IEP or 504 because she does really well at school, but she brings all the anxiety home. She is a happier person when she has a lot of down time and not too many pressures. We're getting used to ADHD meds but anxiety meds might be a necessary thing in the future. The odd thing is, she seemed like such a confident kid prior to that 2nd grade year, even though nothing bad happened to cause the anxiety.Best wishes to you,>> My daughter is 11 and has always been very very anxious to go to school and often tardy. After school she has an outburst directed at me> for making her go to school. She is too fatigued to do homework. > > She is mainstreamed with support. Has a fair IEP. > > During the summer she can only manage with a 1/2 day camp (slow pace) and then wants to get home to her interests. > > If an AS child is overhelmed by the setting does medication help?> And what medication is there for being overwhelmed? > Is it typical that she is so limited even in the summer? > > > Thank you so much for any input. > > Pam>

[Guest guest]

>

> How is your son coping at school?

It is a mixed bag, and I have very mixed feelings about it. His

accommodations/interventions are constantly changing as the school staff get to

know him better each year and learn more about AS. I am told every year that he

was a first and a learning experience. I guess he gets to be a pioneer in

HFA/AS whether he wants to be or not.

Anyway, he is much less stressed this school year and last (7th and 8th grade)

since we finally got to the point where it is understood that his lack of

performance in the classroom is due to disability not behavior. And he has been

removed from all his advanced classes, so the school work is not terribly

challenging to him, so that stress is gone.

So, it is so sad to see him lacking the intellectual stimulation, but this same

lack of academic rigor has helped him progress in other areas. His reaction to

stress at school was a lot like your daughter's in the sense that he used to

draw or work on creative writing projects almost non-stop, in class and out.

When he socialized, it was only if he could do it as part of his creative

process or if people were willing to talk about his special interests. For

example, he would make up a " Where's Waldo " type game (which involved a lot of

drawing, of course) for classmates or some other made up game that involved

something he created. He'd run into problems when the other kids wanted to

switch subjects.

Anyway, he still doesn't have any friends per se, but he has been developing

relationships with the kids in his classes as best he knows how. And he will

now talk to them in a more normal way instead of needing the special interest

crutches. He is definitely more comfortable and relaxed. But, he doesn't know

how to be friends with kids that aren't in his classes or lunch period or how to

continue relationships outside of school. I have hopes a social skills group

can help with that.

I'm not sure if he would be making these social progresses if he were still

having to deal with all the projects requiring way more advanced executive

functioning than he has and having to deal with all the learning of subjects not

of interest to him in the advanced classes. Hence the mixed feelings. I don't

think I could bring myself to regret his sticking with the gifted program as

long as he could. I find myself thinking of that time as when he was getting a

good education, despite all the struggles with the teachers. I'm not so sure he

shouldn't still be there with more accommodations--it is just really hard to

say. I guess it depends on what they could come up with.

We're in the middle of a school district autism evaluation by the school

district's autism team, so I'm really still waiting to get good information on

how he is REALLY doing in school. I haven't had a lot of feedback this year.

I'm very interested to hear what they have to say on balancing his intellectual

needs with his emotional/social/executive functioning delays. Since his special

interest is marketable (creative writing), I'd be happy if they could just focus

on that and general functioning (including social skills), I think.

Ruth

[Guest guest]

Would you call this a meltdown? anxiety? Or something else?

My daughter is also overstmulated at family parties and has these

difficult transitions leavng. She says how lonely she is if we don't go. We went

to a family party today and at the party she was fine,

She was polite and talked a little when spoken to. Participated fine during cake

and opening presents. And her cousin was coming home with us for a sleepover to

make leaving a little easier.

But when it was time to leave she got angry and started to say she wanted to buy

fabric (now where did that come from?) and was demanding I take her to Walmart.

I said we can go tommorrow it was no problem. This is when the meltdown

happended she said: you never take me anywhere, I have to have that fabric, I

have to make a teddy bear, I never get to make anything. Continues as we walk

out, she says no good byes just going on, once outside in the car, she looks at

a book and lets go of the idea. If I would said there was a consequence to this

behavior she would have kept it up longer.

This just doesn't sound like AS behavior or is it?

[Guest guest]

My son was also stressed out at school. We finally pinpointed the problem and spoke to the teacher and principal. We agreed on a plan of action, mainly IGNORE MY KID. Stick him in the back of the class. Ignore if he spaces out. do NOT compliment him if he does a nice job.he can't take it.

In the meantime, I'm pulling him out for 4 hours a week to go to a socials skills training group. It's more important than school. Thankfully, our decision paid off. He feels so cool about himself. He started singing to himself, bounces in to the house after that class. He is on a high. What a transformation in 3 months!

[Guest guest]

I don't know for sure...but my son does things like that ...he gets agitated and irritable when he is tired and bored and/or if things don't go his way. In fact, he is acting that way right now. He stayed home from school due to a bad cold. But some girls called and wanted to meet him at the mall. We told him NO. He flung the stool...told my husband he wished he was Shane's Dad (he just died) and went in his room ranting and raving. We are ignoring him and not even arguing with him. We took the computer away. Boy can he be miserable. I think it come from frustration.

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: susanonderko <susanonderko@...>Subject: ( ) Re: overstimulated: limits school and camps is there a treatment? Date: Sunday, March 22, 2009, 7:29 PM

Is agitation or irritability an AS behavior? When my daughter is tired or bored she will become agitated with me if she is not hyperfocused on her intersts. For example she was in the kitchen today and I was getting my keys out of purse and she got agitated and told me to stop being wierd. She could not express what was wierd about this. She tired to pull my purse away. I was just arranging my purse. My hands in my purse set her off. Again later today, we were out and waiting and she briefly was agitated with me, said I was wierd and started to hit me, I told her to moveaway for awhile and then she was distracted by her cousin and the mood if you call it that passed and she was fine toward me, hugged me. I notice that waiting or being bored sets this off directed at me. What do you make of this? This behavior concerns me. I appreciate your insight! Pam

[Guest guest]

my son 11 can be the same way he came home upset bcz dad promised to send him a card or letter in the mail and it did not come, this sent him in a frenzy over all he started to cry complain how it is not fair am i certain i got all the mail out of the mailbox etc,etc then his TSS was explaining hw to me so i could help him this enraged him as well started saying it is not hw bcz the teacher only wrote hw on one of the papers. finally i got him calm enough that we got the hw done. now he is calmly sitting on the couch enjoying his movie Nims Island. to see him now is like seeing a totally different child, but today was not the norm it is usually much harder to calm, him especially when his dad disappoints and i have discussed with dad and grandparents how important it is to try to stick with what u say your gonna do bcs ds doesnt understand when things dont go

as planned. But i try to look at it this way tomorrrow is another day it maybe alittle better for all of us. sherry

From: susanonderko <susanonderko>Subject: ( ) Re: overstimulated: limits school and camps is there a treatment? Date: Sunday, March 22, 2009, 7:29 PM

Is agitation or irritability an AS behavior? When my daughter is tired or bored she will become agitated with me if she is not hyperfocused on her intersts. For example she was in the kitchen today and I was getting my keys out of purse and she got agitated and told me to stop being wierd. She could not express what was wierd about this. She tired to pull my purse away. I was just arranging my purse. My hands in my purse set her off. Again later today, we were out and waiting and she briefly was agitated with me, said I was wierd and started to hit me, I told her to moveaway for awhile and then she was distracted by her cousin and the mood if you call it that passed and she was fine toward me, hugged me. I notice that waiting or being bored sets this off directed at me. What do you make of this? This behavior concerns me. I appreciate your insight! Pam

[Guest guest]

that's what we said to if he is going to have an outburst or a meltdown i'd rather he did at home than at school because we can usually get him calm but outsiders maynot be able to. sherry

>

>

> From: susanonderko <susanonderko@ ...>

> Subject: ( ) Re: overstimulated: limits school and camps is there a treatment?

>

> Date: Sunday, March 22, 2009, 7:29 PM

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Is agitation or irritability an AS behavior?

>

> When my daughter is tired or bored she will become agitated with me if she is not hyperfocused on her intersts. For example she was in the kitchen today and I was getting my keys out of purse and she got agitated and told me to stop being wierd. She could not express what was wierd about this. She tired to pull my purse away. I was just arranging my purse. My hands in my purse set her off. Again

> later today, we were out and waiting and she briefly was agitated with me, said I was wierd and started to hit me, I told her to move

> away for awhile and then she was distracted by her cousin and the mood if you call it that passed and she was fine toward me, hugged me.

> I notice that waiting or being bored sets this off directed at me.

>

> What do you make of this? This behavior concerns me.

>

> I appreciate your insight!

>

> Pam

>

[Guest guest]

I tell all my kids that if they are too sick for school, they can't go out after school to play. It's a family rule and mostly, if they get angry it's because we have a "stupid" rule and not necessarily at me directly. But it is also a logical rule and makes sense. So it isn't like an arbitrary thing I made up just to annoy them.

Roxanna

"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." ~ Mark Twain

( ) Re: overstimulated: limits school and camps is there a treatment? Date: Sunday, March 22, 2009, 7:29 PM

Is agitation or irritability an AS behavior? When my daughter is tired or bored she will become agitated with me if she is not hyperfocused on her intersts. For example she was in the kitchen today and I was getting my keys out of purse and she got agitated and told me to stop being wierd. She could not express what was wierd about this. She tired to pull my purse away. I was just arranging my purse. My hands in my purse set her off. Again later today, we were out and waiting and she briefly was agitated with me, said I was wierd and started to hit me, I told her to moveaway for awhile and then she was distracted by her cousin and the mood if you call it that passed and she was fine toward me, hugged me. I notice that waiting or being bored sets this off directed at me. What do you make of this? This behavior concerns me. I appreciate your insight! Pam

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[Guest guest]

I agree with you 100% and it is our rule too! But he will still try to break it or gret away with it....and when he doesn't get his way ...he has a tantrum like a 2 year old. I am learning to ignore him and let him rant and rave in his room as long as he is not breaking anything or throwing anything.

jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: susanonderko <susanonderko>Subject: ( ) Re: overstimulated: limits school and camps is there a treatment? Date: Sunday, March 22, 2009, 7:29 PM

Is agitation or irritability an AS behavior? When my daughter is tired or bored she will become agitated with me if she is not hyperfocused on her intersts. For example she was in the kitchen today and I was getting my keys out of purse and she got agitated and told me to stop being wierd. She could not express what was wierd about this. She tired to pull my purse away. I was just arranging my purse. My hands in my purse set her off. Again later today, we were out and waiting and she briefly was agitated with me, said I was wierd and started to hit me, I told her to moveaway for awhile and then she was distracted by her cousin and the mood if you call it that passed and she was fine toward me, hugged me. I notice that waiting or being bored sets this off directed at me. What do you make of this? This behavior concerns me. I appreciate your insight! Pam

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.0.238 / Virus Database: 270.11.24/2018 - Release Date: 03/23/09 06:52:00