Re: In the middle of a meltdown

[Guest guest]

MacAllister <smacalli@...> wrote:

> I understand if your child has all of those other diagnoses, but I'm

> speaking about a child w/ Aspergers.

Who is lucky enough to have a kid who *only* has Aspergers? ;-) There

are so many co-morbid conditions. My kid also has SID and definitely

some kind of ADHD thing going on and possibly something else that

hasn't been diagnosed yet, plus little things like a weird way

his hand is formed that makes writing hard, that I don't remember

the name of... it's all alphabet soup around here!

Willa

[Guest guest]

Excuse me? I'm not analyzing someone's parenting decisions here. I'm saying what has worked for us. You are wrong.

Re: ( ) In the middle of a meltdown

>> But I will continue to advocate for timeouts at home for ourchildren when they have inappropriate behavior.What you are doing is not advocating. You are drawing assumptionsabout other people's parenting methodology based on your ownexperience with your own kids. Ruth

[Guest guest]

You are right. There have been a lot of co-morbid conditions mentioned on here. I'm not sure where one picks up where the other leaves off though. My son has been diagnosed with Sensory Integration Disorder, ADHD, Anxiety- NOS, and finally Aspergers. All of these things have been diagnosed at various times of his life. Do I think he has all of these things. Nope. It was 4 different professionals interpretation of my son's behavior through diagnostic and observational testing. Aspergers has been the best "fit" in my eyes though. Makes a bunch more sense than the others.

Maybe we should make a habit of always stating how old our children are and if they have other diagnoses besides Aspergers. When we make generalizations for "our kids" and some of the kids w/ Aspergers on here have been diagnosed w/ depression and/or anxiety and/or bi-polar and/or OCD and/or Sensory Integration Disorder and/or Oppositional Defiance Disorder, etc... it's not really fair to think we can generalize what happens with that child to other children here on the list. Some of the kids on here are obviously more affected in others. If readers know more about the kid in question, then they can decide how (if at all) a post could be relevant to them. For example, my son has never been anywhere close to having to go into a residential or therapeutic treatment center. I feel for the families where this has happened. But when I see a posting about a child like this, I don't pay as much

attention b/c that child's needs/behaviors/etc... are very different than my son's. Of course we aren't all just cookie cutters on here. Our kids are all unique. But maybe if we're clearer about the type of child in question, it could help?

Re: ( ) In the middle of a meltdown

MacAllister <smacalli (DOT) com> wrote:> I understand if your child has all of those other diagnoses, but I'm > speaking about a child w/ Aspergers.Who is lucky enough to have a kid who *only* has Aspergers? ;-) Thereare so many co-morbid conditions. My kid also has SID and definitelysome kind of ADHD thing going on and possibly something else thathasn't been diagnosed yet, plus little things like a weird wayhis hand is formed that makes writing hard, that I don't rememberthe name of... it's all alphabet soup around here!Willa

[Guest guest]

You are right ....it is difficult to know as our children can be so different and so much alike at the same time...and alot depends on the age...I think when I posted my son having a meltdown...it was that I am so worn out ....that I feel like I've melted down already. I know I do a lot of things wrong and a lot of my son's problems are from me spoiling him...givining in to him...and now we are paying the price. But with the services we are receiving and the help in parenting plus him maturing ...things are better. I would hope by the time he is 17 he doesn't have these meltdowns or if he does ...that he handle them in another way....

I am still not 100% sure my son is AS...he has a lot of the symptoms...especially the lack of social skills and turns his friends off....but that could be the ADHD...in that he gets so annoying. And, he is OCD...he wants the answers and can't seem to function until he gets it right in his head.

But I do know that he does get overloaded and it is much worse when he is tired and that school really drains him....so what I do...is tell him to go to his room and that he can come out when he can act like a civil person. He has learned not to give me flack about it...he goes ...sometimes he is in there venting away...talking to himself...and sometimes he just falls asleep on the bed and wakes up like a brand new kid like nother ever happened.

As he is getting older....we can talk about things more. But this is my son...I see kids in school and I know they are not capable of things that my son can do....

I will never forget this day in school ...I was new in the classroom working with one girl. In walks this very very tall big boy....he sort of frightened me ..his size alone...but he barely ever talked. Well, the teacher brought in baby kittens and you should have seen the kids take care of these kittens ..I wish I could have video taped it. And, this one big boy was ever ever so gentle with this tiny tiny little kitten....it was amazing...the kitten crawled under his shirt and went up by his neck and fell asleep. It brought out such sensitivity in these kids...amazing....

Jan

Janice Rushen

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> I understand if your child has all of those other diagnoses, but I'm > speaking about a child w/ Aspergers.Who is lucky enough to have a kid who *only* has Aspergers? ;-) Thereare so many co-morbid conditions. My kid also has SID and definitelysome kind of ADHD thing going on and possibly something else thathasn't been diagnosed yet, plus little things like a weird wayhis hand is formed that makes writing hard, that I don't rememberthe name of... it's all alphabet soup around here!Willa

[Guest guest]

I agree, I don't think that it is a norm either for kids with AS or HFA. I remember one meeting at a local autism group where we had a behavior expert there. A mom was asking a question - "My son always does...(whatever) and we can't get him to stop." It was a horrible snip of time at that meeting because the mom swore she couldn't make it stop and wasn't letting him get away with anything and yet the behavioral person kept saying, "You need to do this...you aren't doing this...you just said you did that..." I mean, I think everyone felt bad for the mom because it was obviously a big problem but at the same time, it did look like she was not seeing how to change it. Looking back and knowing the mom personally, I felt as if she just wanted the behavior to change but without her having to change anything within herself to make that happen. Sometimes we don't even see what we are doing or how we are responding or we can't see a way to do it differently. Maybe sometimes we don't want to change our way of handling it as well. It's hard to change even when we want to make it different.

I know I have these same problems for other situations - sometimes I am just too dang tired to deal with it. But of course, intermittent reward is the best kind and only makes it worse!!! Being consistent is such a key factor with kids who have these kinds of problems. Also remember, when you try to get rid of a behavior, it WILL get worse before it gets better. I think that big wall we have to climb over is sometimes what stops us from getting over the wall at all, which is why it works as a defense to changing behavior.

Well, this was not about any person in particular. I just agree with 's post that it's not a given for kids with HFA or AS to call their parents names. It is a bad behavior and one that needs attention. Maybe professional help? We all have our "lines in the sand" as to what we will put up with, what we tolerate and what we will do to make it stop. We also have our own unique "filled up" point - how many problems we can sort out and deal with at a time. I think that can really affect this kind of situation as well.

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

Re: ( ) In the middle of a meltdown

I hate when I see on this site how people are resolved to having kids with inappropriate behavior and it seems like people just accept it or walk around on eggshells to not disrupt their child or provoke a problem. That's not going to make anything better...I know, I used to do the same thing. But then you are like in a prison in your own home. I often sit here, not responding, because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. But the truth of the matter is, you can take control and make things better in your home! You really can! Doesn't mean the Aspergers goes away, of course it doesn't. Dylan still has issues, but they don't involve him calling me names or sleeping until noon or playing games all day long. And he is on zero medication in the summers, weekends, evenings, holidays. Only takes the Daytrana patch for focus when he's in school (lowest dosage). I don't see how, as a group, we can act like this type of behavior is just a symptom of having Aspergers because it's NOT. I feel a responsibility to the people who read these posts who are new or just don't feel like being public to say it DOESN'T have to be this way. You DON'T have to accept things the way they are. We had years of tough times. Dylan still has trouble w/ social relationships and for those of you following along, we had some tough times the second part of 6th grade earlier this year. But I don't want any person reading this to throw in the towel and think "I guess this is just how it has to be" because it doesn't.

Not saying what works for us will work for everyone, but I want to give people hope, put back some power in their hearts and minds, and maybe boost their confidence to make some changes that could completely alter the household. Feeling like you are at the mercy of your child's mood or Aspergers diagnosis is no way to live. We really turned a corner in the 4th grade. It can happen.

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[Guest guest]

,

You know what I hate, is when certain people try to make other

people feel less of a parent because they dont have the success

story that you do. Maybe your son is a higher functioning aspie and

dosnt have any other dx's with his AS. All I know is that as a parent

of an aspie child its hard enough to deal with their day to day

functions, and I know personally that I am always second guessing

myself and wondering if what Im doing is always the right way but for

the most part I think we know our children much better than anyone

else and we are always going to try to do the best for our child. Not

everyone is going to have the success you have and its not because

you are a better parent or disiplinarian, or that you have all the

answers and we dont. If that were the case then you should right a

book so we can all follow your example, but I guarentee that not

everone will have the same outcome because not all our children can

learn the way your child does. All our children are different even

though they can seem similare they are not all that similar. I dont

mean to sound like a bitch but I am sick of people telling me what Im

always doing wrong why cant they say hey your doing a great job. That

would make me feel great.

> >

> I don't see how, as a group, we can act like this type of behavior

is

> just a

> > symptom of having Aspergers because it's NOT.

>

> Unfortunately, , for some kids, it is. I'm not going to sit

> here and argue with you about it. Either you can accept our word for

> it or you can't. I think you should count yourself lucky you son has

> not been afflicted this way.

>

> > Not saying what works for us will work for everyone,

>

> Exactly.

>

> Don't take this the wrong way--your intentions and support are

> appreciated. I have to say that if I did not have a child like my

> son, I really don't know what I would think about all this.

>

> Ruth

>

[Guest guest]

I'm not trying to say anyone is less of a parent on here. I'm saying what has worked for me. I never thought we'd be where we are today when he was younger. Would you rather me keep all of this to myself or share it in hopes of helping someone? Should I say my son is a "success" because of dumb luck? Or can I say I think at least some of his success is from what I learned in the 4 years of therapy I received for parenting him appropriately? I'm saying there is hope and ways you can modify what you're doing to make the situation better. Why is that bad? Back in the day, when things started to change for us, I realized I really could make things better, not perfect, but better. That was so empowering, after years of feeling

like I was at the mercy of this little boy I couldn't get close to b/c it was exhausting to be around him. I'm crying now as I type this. It was emotionally draining and makes me so sad to think of the years I basically lost with him. Here was this cute little kid I'd lay down and die for since he was born, but I couldn't enjoy the majority of the time from 1-7. Once we got things better under control, I completely fell in mama/kid love with my son. I of course had always loved him, but I was actually being able to enjoy him and appreciate him again, after so many years of struggle. This was huge for me and I want others to know it can happen. Why be on here if I can't share this?

( ) Re: In the middle of a meltdown

,You know what I hate, is when certain people try to make other people feel less of a parent because they dont have the success story that you do. Maybe your son is a higher functioning aspie and dosnt have any other dx's with his AS. All I know is that as a parent of an aspie child its hard enough to deal with their day to day functions, and I know personally that I am always second guessing myself and wondering if what Im doing is always the right way but for the most part I think we know our children much better than anyone else and we are always going to try to do the best for our child. Not everyone is going to have the success you have and its not because you are a better parent or disiplinarian, or that you have all the answers and we dont. If that were the case then you should right a book so we can all follow your example, but I guarentee that not everone will have the same outcome

because not all our children can learn the way your child does. All our children are different even though they can seem similare they are not all that similar. I dont mean to sound like a bitch but I am sick of people telling me what Im always doing wrong why cant they say hey your doing a great job. That would make me feel great. > >> I don't see how, as a group, we can act like this type of behavior is> just a> > symptom of having Aspergers because it's NOT.> > Unfortunately, , for some kids, it is. I'm not going to sit> here and argue with you about it. Either you can accept our word for> it or you can't. I think you should count yourself lucky you son has> not been afflicted this way.> > > Not saying what works for us will work for everyone, > > Exactly.> > Don't take this the wrong way--your intentions and support are> appreciated. I have to say that if I did not have a child like my> son, I

really don't know what I would think about all this. > > Ruth>

[Guest guest]

Ruth,Thanks so much for this comment. I think that we all need to share what works for us while maintaining respect for each other. Our children are all different & there is no one right way to do things.Sent from my iPhoneBlessings, DonnaOn Aug 6, 2008, at 3:17 PM, "r_woman2" <me2ruth@...> wrote:

>

> But I will continue to advocate for timeouts at home for our

children when they have inappropriate behavior.

What you are doing is not advocating. You are drawing assumptions

about other people's parenting methodology based on your own

experience with your own kids.

Ruth

[Guest guest]

,,,,,,

You're doing a great job!!!

I think like with everything in this world,,,,,,,,what works for 1 doesnt' work for all. We all have different ways of dealing with our kids. Some kids respond better to a more strict environment. Some get worse when more restrictions are imposed. Some deal with school and need time to veg once they get home. Some honestly can't deal with school. Some are incredibly, obviously smart and others, like my son, are very smart but he could care a less to show it. ha ha........

Some parents run a tight ship. It works for some, but not for others. Some parents are more lax and tend to let things "be". For some this works, for others, it doesn't.

I DO see some points......like hearing that, (and I'm not quoting word for word), but, "If it's getting or has been rough at a persons' house and the anger, control is gone, then,,, it's time for a change. It's time to get more "disciplined" and lay down the law cause maybe it's not the AS/co-morbid dx's,,,,,,maybe it's "simply" behavior"??? I get that. Then again,,,,,,I know 2 other families with kids with ADHD/AS.....and obviously, each one, as well as our fam, has other things mixed in,,,,,but we are all so fricken different, it's scary. One friends son is the same age as Ian and his is a darned professor. Honestly,,,he'd talk for days about anything. My son will talk about what he likes and then move on. One kid has the "hyperness" in his talking and doing things with his hands...like making things........building things......,my son has the kind where, he literally,,,,,,,,is hopping around the

yard. Ick. Hee hee.

I think the problems we're having on this site latelyl,,,,,are the ways things are being said. Not that different ideas are being said. Heck....that's good!!!! It's the WAY they are said. It's not just saying what works for "me" and then adding a little humor or whatever to the end to show that there are still struggles our own lives, if we're giving a success story......

It's adding little comments that hurt others. Most don't join support groups when everything is hunky dory.....we join cause we want to cry.

And at the same time,,,,,,we're talking about our kids and our parenting.....ugh.............could we get anymore heated?

Robin

From: gina <ginak1117@...>Subject: ( ) Re: In the middle of a meltdown Date: Wednesday, August 6, 2008, 9:32 PM

,You know what I hate, is when certain people try to make other people feel less of a parent because they dont have the success story that you do. Maybe your son is a higher functioning aspie and dosnt have any other dx's with his AS. All I know is that as a parent of an aspie child its hard enough to deal with their day to day functions, and I know personally that I am always second guessing myself and wondering if what Im doing is always the right way but for the most part I think we know our children much better than anyone else and we are always going to try to do the best for our child. Not everyone is going to have the success you have and its not because you are a better parent or disiplinarian, or that you have all the answers and we dont. If that were the case then you should right a book so we can all follow your example, but I guarentee that not everone will have the same

outcome because not all our children can learn the way your child does. All our children are different even though they can seem similare they are not all that similar. I dont mean to sound like a bitch but I am sick of people telling me what Im always doing wrong why cant they say hey your doing a great job. That would make me feel great. > >> I don't see how, as a group, we can act like this type of behavior is> just a> > symptom of having Aspergers because it's NOT.> > Unfortunately, , for some kids, it is. I'm not going to sit> here and argue with you about it. Either you can accept our word for> it or you can't. I think you should count yourself lucky you son has> not been afflicted this way.> > > Not saying what works for us will work for everyone, > > Exactly.> > Don't take this the wrong way--your intentions and support are> appreciated. I have to say that if I did not have a child like my> son, I really don't know what I would think about all this. > >

Ruth>

[Guest guest]

Ya know,,,as I read what you wrote,,,,,,,,,I thought of a simple, almost ridiculous thing we learned,,,,,,,when Ian was like, 9. I guess I don't mean really LEARNED,,,but instead, GOT. Finally GOT. We realized that when we stay calm,,,,,he could stay calmer. I know this is probably obvious to most....but one day it really DAWNED on me. I saw it. How pitiful?

Not that we freaked out all the time,,,,,,,,,,,,but I SAW the connection. It made a world of difference........like you said. It was empowering.

I've had times like this since,,,,,,,,,,,ways that have worked with certain issues and a lightbulb goes off. Yes....incredibly empowering.

I feel your tears. I think of the years that we could have been "understanding" and "teaching" better behavior instead of punishing him. Or saying, "Ian,,,,look at me" or "Ian, Pay attention",,,,or "Ian,,,,,,,sit down.". Ick. Makes my stomach hurt.

Makes me sad the years we listened to other parents make comments......years that I'd leave a store, church, friends house, etc, embarrassed as hell, angry at him for "doing this again". Poor guys.

Great......now hear are my tears. Hee hee.

From: MacAllister <smacalli@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: In the middle of a meltdown Date: Wednesday, August 6, 2008, 9:47 PM

I'm not trying to say anyone is less of a parent on here. I'm saying what has worked for me. I never thought we'd be where we are today when he was younger. Would you rather me keep all of this to myself or share it in hopes of helping someone? Should I say my son is a "success" because of dumb luck? Or can I say I think at least some of his success is from what I learned in the 4 years of therapy I received for parenting him appropriately? I'm saying there is hope and ways you can modify what you're doing to make the situation better. Why is that bad? Back in the day, when things started to change for us, I realized I really could make things better, not perfect, but better. That was so empowering, after years of feeling like I was at the mercy of this little boy I couldn't get close to b/c it was exhausting to be around him. I'm crying now as I type this. It was

emotionally draining and makes me so sad to think of the years I basically lost with him. Here was this cute little kid I'd lay down and die for since he was born, but I couldn't enjoy the majority of the time from 1-7. Once we got things better under control, I completely fell in mama/kid love with my son. I of course had always loved him, but I was actually being able to enjoy him and appreciate him again, after so many years of struggle. This was huge for me and I want others to know it can happen. Why be on here if I can't share this?

( ) Re: In the middle of a meltdown

,You know what I hate, is when certain people try to make other people feel less of a parent because they dont have the success story that you do. Maybe your son is a higher functioning aspie and dosnt have any other dx's with his AS. All I know is that as a parent of an aspie child its hard enough to deal with their day to day functions, and I know personally that I am always second guessing myself and wondering if what Im doing is always the right way but for the most part I think we know our children much better than anyone else and we are always going to try to do the best for our child. Not everyone is going to have the success you have and its not because you are a better parent or disiplinarian, or that you have all the answers and we dont. If that were the case then you should right a book so we can all follow your example, but I guarentee that not everone will have the same

outcome because not all our children can learn the way your child does. All our children are different even though they can seem similare they are not all that similar. I dont mean to sound like a bitch but I am sick of people telling me what Im always doing wrong why cant they say hey your doing a great job. That would make me feel great. > >> I don't see how, as a group, we can act like this type of behavior is> just a> > symptom of having Aspergers because it's NOT.> > Unfortunately, , for some kids, it is. I'm not going to sit> here and argue with you about it. Either you can accept our word for> it or you can't. I think you should count yourself lucky you son has> not been afflicted this way.> > > Not saying what works for us will work for everyone, > > Exactly.> > Don't take this the wrong way--your intentions and support are> appreciated. I have to say that if I did not have a child like my> son, I really don't know what I would think about all this. > >

Ruth>

[Guest guest]

,

Its great to share your success but I think some of us are feeling

like your rubbing it in our faces and saying that what we are doing

to our children is an in-justice because we arn't mothering them the

way you are. We all learn our own way and what works for one child

doesnt neccessarily work for another. I am so happy for you and

putting it out here like you just did makes me feel like you are

trying to help but some of your other postings especially to ruth,and

Jan, sounded like you were ridiculing the way they are raising their

children. I am happy that you were able to use the reward and

discipline system with your son. I do the same with my son and some

days it works and others it doesnt, and my child was also very

aggressive with me but he has also gotten better with that. I too

have struggled with the thought that my son would never have a life

just like Im sure all of the moms on here have and we all too have

seen such great strides that our kids have made, and I shed tears

almost every day. You also were kind of gruff with the moms that had

kids with suicideal thoughts and Im sorry to tell you but yes some

aspies do deal with this so be thankful yours doesnt. I just went

through something similar to that and it was the worst 3 weeks of our

lives. Thank god we got through it. We all have to take it day by day

and just be there for each other and give advice if asked and be

positive when needed but also dont hold back on the truth either.

Having an aspie child is not a bed of roses and to all the new moms

on here, dont think that because one mom deals with a suicidal aspie,

and another deals with a violent aspie, and so on and so on , doesnt

mean you will, but it also dosnt mean you wont! We are all sharing

our stories and we shouldnt be on here to ridicule how other people

raise their kids we are suppose to be on here to support each other

and to just give advice not tell one another what we are doing wrong.

Another thing is the medicine comments. I never thought that I would

put my child on meds, and I have worked in the medical field for over

15 years, and in the begining I tried the holistic thing and it didnt

work for my son and meds did, however I am having trouble with his

meds again and I have talked to and getting some info from her

because Im thinking about trying it again, who knows, I just want

whats best for my son, just like everyone does. So Im very sorry if I

hurt your feelings but I knew you were hurting other peoples feelings

and I just thought it should stop. We all have to take enough crap in

our everyday life, lets have some place where we can come and feel

good. Thats all I want and I dont mean I want everyone to sugar coat

everything because Im not here for that either, I just want the truth

to my questions. Thanks ,

> > >

> > I don't see how, as a group, we can act like this type of

behavior

> is

> > just a

> > > symptom of having Aspergers because it's NOT.

> >

> > Unfortunately, , for some kids, it is. I'm not going to sit

> > here and argue with you about it. Either you can accept our word

for

> > it or you can't. I think you should count yourself lucky you son

has

> > not been afflicted this way.

> >

> > > Not saying what works for us will work for everyone,

> >

> > Exactly.

> >

> > Don't take this the wrong way--your intentions and support are

> > appreciated. I have to say that if I did not have a child like my

> > son, I really don't know what I would think about all this.

> >

> > Ruth

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Oh, Robin. I completely get just everything you said. Especially the last part when you'd have to leave somewhere, embarrassed, and angry at him for "doing it again". Although, I would normally include angry at "doing this TO ME again". I was so sad. He used to have meltdowns every time I picked him up from daycare. When I say every time, I mean every time. I could count on one hand how many times he didn't cry hysterically when I'd come to pick him up over a 4 year period of time. This after a long day at work for me. It was so bad. I learned years later he was probably suffering from a sort of "reverse" anxiety problem, which made perfect sense to me. So I'd drop him off, he'd get involved right away with something in

the room and wouldn't really even pay attention that I was leaving, but when he'd see me at the end of the day, he would remember how he felt when he realized I was gone so he'd completely meltdown. So kind of separation anxiety but displayed in a non-traditional way. I was SO HAPPY (in a sick kind of way!) when I read that. Finally, an answer. I also knew it was kind of hard for him to transition and stop doing what he was doing to leave so I'm sure that played a part in it too. Too bad I didn't read that in the MIDDLE of it all. It was only after he stopped doing it that I figured it out!

But man, when you have a "breakthrough" and you see an improvement...wow. It's a lasting pride you just can't take away. What might be even better is when your child has the light bulb moment too. There were times when Dylan would do something wrong and if I didn't respond immediately, he'd say "aren't you going to put me in a timeout?" He was so freakin' smart and aware of what was happening, he liked being able to predict what was going to happen. I think he liked seeing if I put him in a timeout, he'd get control of himself and settle down. It was a bigger blessing for him than it was for me in many ways. So if I didn't follow through, he'd remind me I needed to follow through

Thanks so much for your post.

( ) Re: In the middle of a meltdown

,You know what I hate, is when certain people try to make other people feel less of a parent because they dont have the success story that you do. Maybe your son is a higher functioning aspie and dosnt have any other dx's with his AS. All I know is that as a parent of an aspie child its hard enough to deal with their day to day functions, and I know personally that I am always second guessing myself and wondering if what Im doing is always the right way but for the most part I think we know our children much better than anyone else and we are always going to try to do the best for our child. Not everyone is going to have the success you have and its not because you are a better parent or disiplinarian, or that you have all the answers and we dont. If that were the case then you should right a book so we can all follow your example, but I guarentee that not everone will have the same

outcome because not all our children can learn the way your child does. All our children are different even though they can seem similare they are not all that similar. I dont mean to sound like a bitch but I am sick of people telling me what Im always doing wrong why cant they say hey your doing a great job. That would make me feel great. > >> I don't see how, as a group, we can act like this type of behavior is> just a> > symptom of having Aspergers because it's NOT.> > Unfortunately, , for some kids, it is. I'm not going to sit> here and argue with you about it. Either you can accept our word for> it or you can't. I think you should count yourself lucky you son has> not been afflicted this way.> > > Not saying what works for us will work for everyone, > > Exactly.> > Don't take this the wrong way--your intentions and support are> appreciated. I have to say that if I did not have a child like

my> son, I really don't know what I would think about all this. > > Ruth>

[Guest guest]

You didn't hurt my feelings, . I got a bit weepy when I recalled the years I felt like I missed with my son. It hurts me to this day. Rewards have actually never worked with Dylan. He couldn't focus on the reward long enough or he'd be so focused on the reward, he'd forget what he was suppose to do with his behavior to earn it in the first place.

I wasn't making light of or being "gruff" with the mom of the suicidal child. That's a horrible situation to be in. But I thought her post really proved my point. She was a bit rough with me but you know what? I can take it. I'm a pretty tough woman.

As I stated in a previous post, I don't try to sugar-coat things. I'm really trying to help. I don't think it's doing anyone any good if we tip toe around the elephant in the room. I've heard from two ladies who emailed me privately who support what I've been saying in these posts. That means I've accomplished what I wanted to accomplish. Give people hope, say it can get better with US and how we handle our children. That's all. I don't have a problem stating what I think.

( ) Re: In the middle of a meltdown

,Its great to share your success but I think some of us are feeling like your rubbing it in our faces and saying that what we are doing to our children is an in-justice because we arn't mothering them the way you are. We all learn our own way and what works for one child doesnt neccessarily work for another. I am so happy for you and putting it out here like you just did makes me feel like you are trying to help but some of your other postings especially to ruth,and Jan, sounded like you were ridiculing the way they are raising their children. I am happy that you were able to use the reward and discipline system with your son. I do the same with my son and some days it works and others it doesnt, and my child was also very aggressive with me but he has also gotten better with that. I too have struggled with the thought that my son would never have a life just like Im sure all of the moms on

here have and we all too have seen such great strides that our kids have made, and I shed tears almost every day. You also were kind of gruff with the moms that had kids with suicideal thoughts and Im sorry to tell you but yes some aspies do deal with this so be thankful yours doesnt. I just went through something similar to that and it was the worst 3 weeks of our lives. Thank god we got through it. We all have to take it day by day and just be there for each other and give advice if asked and be positive when needed but also dont hold back on the truth either. Having an aspie child is not a bed of roses and to all the new moms on here, dont think that because one mom deals with a suicidal aspie, and another deals with a violent aspie, and so on and so on , doesnt mean you will, but it also dosnt mean you wont! We are all sharing our stories and we shouldnt be on here to ridicule how other people

raise their kids we are suppose to be on here to support each other and to just give advice not tell one another what we are doing wrong.Another thing is the medicine comments. I never thought that I would put my child on meds, and I have worked in the medical field for over 15 years, and in the begining I tried the holistic thing and it didnt work for my son and meds did, however I am having trouble with his meds again and I have talked to and getting some info from her because Im thinking about trying it again, who knows, I just want whats best for my son, just like everyone does. So Im very sorry if I hurt your feelings but I knew you were hurting other peoples feelings and I just thought it should stop. We all have to take enough crap in our everyday life, lets have some place where we can come and feel good. Thats all I want and I dont mean I want everyone to sugar coat everything because

Im not here for that either, I just want the truth to my questions. Thanks , > > >> > I don't see how, as a group, we can act like this type of behavior > is> > just a> > > symptom of having Aspergers because it's NOT.>

> > > Unfortunately, , for some kids, it is. I'm not going to sit> > here and argue with you about it. Either you can accept our word for> > it or you can't. I think you should count yourself lucky you son has> > not been afflicted this way.> > > > > Not saying what works for us will work for everyone, > > > > Exactly.> > > > Don't take this the wrong way--your intentions and support are> > appreciated. I have to say that if I did not have a child like my> > son, I really don't know what I would think about all this. > > > > Ruth> >>

[Guest guest]

I think it's great that you're sharing. Any learning we can share from our own learning or our own mistakes is a bonus.You said you wanted to hear from people who have older kids in college. My son is 20. He's had one year of college. He lived at home, did well in his studies and made the Dean's List. His second year, he got depressed and took the year off. I think things just got overwhelming for him. He just didn't have the organizational skills and the executive function skills he needed to get through it.This year, we're sending him to a program for young adults with Asperger's Syndrome in Massachusetts. (We live in California.) He just got back from his three week orientation. He lived in a three-bedroom house with 2 other young men, shared the cooking and cleaning, and did all the testing required for college in the fall. This was the first time he'd ever been away from home for more than a week, and he did great. We had to start talking about it back in November. The first response we got was "Absolutely not." We worked it through with his genius of a therapist for six months, when he finally agreed that he needed help and agreed to go.If I've said this already, please forgive me. It's senility.LizOn Aug 6, 2008, at 7:47 PM, MacAllister wrote:I'm not trying to say anyone is less of a parent on here. I'm saying what has worked for me. I never thought we'd be where we are today when he was younger. Would you rather me keep all of this to myself or share it in hopes of helping someone? Should I say my son is a "success" because of dumb luck? Or can I say I think at least some of his success is from what I learned in the 4 years of therapy I received for parenting him appropriately? I'm saying there is hope and ways you can modify what you're doing to make the situation better. Why is that bad? Back in the day, when things started to change for us, I realized I really could make things better, not perfect, but better. That was so empowering, after years of feeling like I was at the mercy of this little boy I couldn't get close to b/c it was exhausting to be around him. I'm crying now as I type this. It was emotionally draining and makes me so sad to think of the years I basically lost with him. Here was this cute little kid I'd lay down and die for since he was born, but I couldn't enjoy the majority of the time from 1-7. Once we got things better under control, I completely fell in mama/kid love with my son. I of course had always loved him, but I was actually being able to enjoy him and appreciate him again, after so many years of struggle. This was huge for me and I want others to know it can happen. Why be on here if I can't share this?

[Guest guest]

Thanks for sharing! How great to see a special college program for people with Aspergers. Please keep us posted on how he's doing. I love to hear about older kids with Aspergers.

Re: ( ) Re: In the middle of a meltdown

I think it's great that you're sharing. Any learning we can share from our own learning or our own mistakes is a bonus.

You said you wanted to hear from people who have older kids in college. My son is 20. He's had one year of college. He lived at home, did well in his studies and made the Dean's List. His second year, he got depressed and took the year off. I think things just got overwhelming for him. He just didn't have the organizational skills and the executive function skills he needed to get through it.

This year, we're sending him to a program for young adults with Asperger's Syndrome in Massachusetts. (We live in California.) He just got back from his three week orientation. He lived in a three-bedroom house with 2 other young men, shared the cooking and cleaning, and did all the testing required for college in the fall. This was the first time he'd ever been away from home for more than a week, and he did great. We had to start talking about it back in November. The first response we got was "Absolutely not." We worked it through with his genius of a therapist for six months, when he finally agreed that he needed help and agreed to go.

If I've said this already, please forgive me. It's senility.

Liz

On Aug 6, 2008, at 7:47 PM, MacAllister wrote:

I'm not trying to say anyone is less of a parent on here. I'm saying what has worked for me. I never thought we'd be where we are today when he was younger. Would you rather me keep all of this to myself or share it in hopes of helping someone? Should I say my son is a "success" because of dumb luck? Or can I say I think at least some of his success is from what I learned in the 4 years of therapy I received for parenting him appropriately? I'm saying there is hope and ways you can modify what you're doing to make the situation better. Why is that bad? Back in the day, when things started to change for us, I realized I really could make things better, not perfect, but better. That was so empowering, after years of feeling like I was at the mercy of this little boy I couldn't get close to b/c it was exhausting to be around him. I'm crying now as I type this. It was

emotionally draining and makes me so sad to think of the years I basically lost with him. Here was this cute little kid I'd lay down and die for since he was born, but I couldn't enjoy the majority of the time from 1-7. Once we got things better under control, I completely fell in mama/kid love with my son. I of course had always loved him, but I was actually being able to enjoy him and appreciate him again, after so many years of struggle. This was huge for me and I want others to know it can happen. Why be on here if I can't share this?

[Guest guest]

HI lIZ,

I am curious, does your son get any kind of grants for school or is

this all out of pocket especially the traveling to another state ??

Just wondering if we should start starving so we can pay for all

this? LOL. I was told by a couple people because of his disability

that he should get a full ride through school anywhere and including

his books and room and board. Is this true or am I being told a

story? Im hoping he will get some help but Im not expecting a full

ride. It sure would be nice wouldnt it???? My moms friend had

dyslexia and because of this she had everything paid for even her

room and board. She had an apartment off campus?? That just seems too

good to be true.

Thanks

>

> >

> > I'm not trying to say anyone is less of a parent on here. I'm

> > saying what has worked for me. I never thought we'd be where we

are

> > today when he was younger. Would you rather me keep all of this

to

> > myself or share it in hopes of helping someone? Should I say my

son

> > is a " success " because of dumb luck? Or can I say I think at

least

> > some of his success is from what I learned in the 4 years of

therapy

> > I received for parenting him appropriately? I'm saying there is

> > hope and ways you can modify what you're doing to make the

situation

> > better. Why is that bad? Back in the day, when things started

to

> > change for us, I realized I really could make things better, not

> > perfect, but better. That was so empowering, after years of

feeling

> > like I was at the mercy of this little boy I couldn't get close

to b/

> > c it was exhausting to be around him. I'm crying now as I type

> > this. It was emotionally draining and makes me so sad to think

of

> > the years I basically lost with him. Here was this cute little

kid

> > I'd lay down and die for since he was born, but I couldn't enjoy

the

> > majority of the time from 1-7. Once we got things better under

> > control, I completely fell in mama/kid love with my son. I of

> > course had always loved him, but I was actually being able to

enjoy

> > him and appreciate him again, after so many years of struggle.

This

> > was huge for me and I want others to know it can happen. Why be

on

> > here if I can't share this?

>

[Guest guest]

it sounds like from your post its not just that you are so angry with. sounds like you've heard what she is explaining ''many times before'' and from many people. you sound very angry and tired.. I was feeling like that and it was because any strategy I've used didn't work, the school didn't help because - they didn't see anything - so, Like you, I also was angry and tired, I've kept trying and searching until I found someone that would listen to me and give a strategy that worked. We both (my son and I) worked very hard with this new strategy and had progress. but it does take a very long time with baby steps to get there. I hear how exhausted you are...You know - its not easy and you are doing a great job !!! you are on this site and you do care.... I can also see how hard has been working with her son just by reading her post...I can understand her feelings of relief when she finally sees

progress. NO - she's not bragging, she's just trying to share her experience and help others see that it is possible to help our children become successful and live an independent life when they are older. She's trying to share that if you start young, it's better for you and the child then if you were to start at an older age. At this time, when everything is so stressfull with trying to find something that works. I'm hoping I didn't say anything to upset you or cause you more stress. this site is to help each other and learn. find new strategies that will work and help our children. Maybe the strategy that is working for won't work for your child or mine, but something out there will work which is the hardest part for us parents - is finding that one strategy that works. And when it works, you will be on here posting/sharing for others, that you can do it and it will work - never

give up. Also, I know as our AS kids have to work harder than other children, and so do us parents. we have to work harder than other parents do with their NT children for our children to be successful and live independently lives.. HUGS Rosegina <ginak1117@...> wrote: ,You know what I hate, is when certain people try to make other people feel less of a parent because they dont have the success story that you do. Maybe your son is a higher functioning aspie and

dosnt have any other dx's with his AS. All I know is that as a parent of an aspie child its hard enough to deal with their day to day functions, and I know personally that I am always second guessing myself and wondering if what Im doing is always the right way but for the most part I think we know our children much better than anyone else and we are always going to try to do the best for our child. Not everyone is going to have the success you have and its not because you are a better parent or disiplinarian, or that you have all the answers and we dont. If that were the case then you should right a book so we can all follow your example, but I guarentee that not everone will have the same outcome because not all our children can learn the way your child does. All our children are different even though they can seem similare they are not all that similar. I dont mean to sound like a bitch but I am sick of people

telling me what Im always doing wrong why cant they say hey your doing a great job. That would make me feel great. > >> I don't see how, as a group, we can act like this type of behavior is> just a> > symptom of having Aspergers because

it's NOT.> > Unfortunately, , for some kids, it is. I'm not going to sit> here and argue with you about it. Either you can accept our word for> it or you can't. I think you should count yourself lucky you son has> not been afflicted this way.> > > Not saying what works for us will work for everyone, > > Exactly.> > Don't take this the wrong way--your intentions and support are> appreciated. I have to say that if I did not have a child like my> son, I really don't know what I would think about all this. > > Ruth>

[Guest guest]

We all have our "lines in the sand" as to what we will put up with, what we tolerate and what we will do to make it stop. We also have our own unique "filled up" point - how many problems we can sort out and deal with at a time. I think that can really affect this kind of situation as well.

Well said Roxanna. I agree with that part. I can relate to 's frustration also. I, at times, can feel the same way. I think one thing to understand is that we as parents, those with NT children too, need to pick and choose what behavior we are going to work on at a time. If a behavior bothers you, try and enact a plan to work on it. Some behaviors take 2 weeks to modify, some take years. The point is that you as the parent have to feel confident in YOUR choice as to what behavior you are working on. Right now I have people giving me heck about our boys' eating habits. (At least that's how I percieve it) but we have bigger fish to fry right now and we'll get to eating in time. We as their parents have to be confident in what we are doing. Certain behaviors such as violence, verbal or physical are stressful on everyone but not acceptable. Like you said, maybe professional help is needed. No child wants to feel that angry and frustrated. With some work, any obsticle can be overcome or worked through.

Noel

>> I agree, I don't think that it is a norm either for kids with AS or HFA. I remember one meeting at a local autism group where we had a behavior expert there. A mom was asking a question - "My son always does...(whatever) and we can't get him to stop." It was a horrible snip of time at that meeting because the mom swore she couldn't make it stop and wasn't letting him get away with anything and yet the behavioral person kept saying, "You need to do this...you aren't doing this...you just said you did that..." I mean, I think everyone felt bad for the mom because it was obviously a big problem but at the same time, it did look like she was not seeing how to change it. Looking back and knowing the mom personally, I felt as if she just wanted the behavior to change but without her having to change anything within herself to make that happen. Sometimes we don't even see what we are doing or how we are responding or we can't see a way to do it differently. Maybe sometimes we don't want to change our way of handling it as well. It's hard to change even when we want to make it different.> > I know I have these same problems for other situations - sometimes I am just too dang tired to deal with it. But of course, intermittent reward is the best kind and only makes it worse!!! Being consistent is such a key factor with kids who have these kinds of problems. Also remember, when you try to get rid of a behavior, it WILL get worse before it gets better. I think that big wall we have to climb over is sometimes what stops us from getting over the wall at all, which is why it works as a defense to changing behavior. > > Well, this was not about any person in particular. I just agree with 's post that it's not a given for kids with HFA or AS to call their parents names. It is a bad behavior and one that needs attention. Maybe professional help? We all have our "lines in the sand" as to what we will put up with, what we tolerate and what we will do to make it stop. We also have our own unique "filled up" point - how many problems we can sort out and deal with at a time. I think that can really affect this kind of situation as well. > > > Roxanna> You're Unique> Just like everyone else...> Re: ( ) In the middle of a meltdown> > > > I hate when I see on this site how people are resolved to having kids with inappropriate behavior and it seems like people just accept it or walk around on eggshells to not disrupt their child or provoke a problem. That's not going to make anything better...I know, I used to do the same thing. But then you are like in a prison in your own home. I often sit here, not responding, because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. But the truth of the matter is, you can take control and make things better in your home! You really can! Doesn't mean the Aspergers goes away, of course it doesn't. Dylan still has issues, but they don't involve him calling me names or sleeping until noon or playing games all day long. And he is on zero medication in the summers, weekends, evenings, holidays. Only takes the Daytrana patch for focus when he's in school (lowest dosage). I don't see how, as a group, we can act like this type of behavior is just a symptom of having Aspergers because it's NOT. I feel a responsibility to the people who read these posts who are new or just don't feel like being public to say it DOESN'T have to be this way. You DON'T have to accept things the way they are. We had years of tough times. Dylan still has trouble w/ social relationships and for those of you following along, we had some tough times the second part of 6th grade earlier this year. But I don't want any person reading this to throw in the towel and think "I guess this is just how it has to be" because it doesn't.> > > > Not saying what works for us will work for everyone, but I want to give people hope, put back some power in their hearts and minds, and maybe boost their confidence to make some changes that could completely alter the household. Feeling like you are at the mercy of your child's mood or Aspergers diagnosis is no way to live. We really turned a corner in the 4th grade. It can happen.> . > > No virus found in this incoming message.> Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com > Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.12/1595 - Release Date: 8/6/2008 8:23 AM>

[Guest guest]

I appreciate your sharing shelley, and personally I find it motivating. I'm one

of those moms that has to dig pretty deep to find my " mean streak " , but I am

working on it. And honestly, my son is happier with limits and rules. Not

crazy rules, but rules. Now if I could just get him to go to bed and sTAY in

the bed and go to sleep, we would be good for now. he so willingly goes to bed,

always has. But then he is in there talking to his tuffed animials or himself

for a looong time ....and now that we have moved his room is closer to the

living room so he can hear our tv and talking, etc...

I was giving him sleepytime tea, but its not really enough. Once he is really

asleep thogh, he usually sleeps all night with no problems. I bought some

melatonin but was unsure how much to give him, its in pill form.

thanks, kate

[Guest guest]

Yep....You know,,,,sometimes,,,,,,,I'll ask the kids what they think their punishment should be. Cause,,,,honestly,,,sometimes I'm at a loss. They'll freak me out and say, "I guess take away my game" or "I guess no more pool today" or something like that. It freaks me out. Love it.

This doesn't happen as often as I'd like or maybe should, though. More on MY part, cause I usually don't have the mindset to reverse it to them when I'm stressed or mad.

From: MacAllister <smacalli (DOT) com>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: In the middle of a meltdown Date: Wednesday, August 6, 2008, 9:47 PM

I'm not trying to say anyone is less of a parent on here. I'm saying what has worked for me. I never thought we'd be where we are today when he was younger. Would you rather me keep all of this to myself or share it in hopes of helping someone? Should I say my son is a "success" because of dumb luck? Or can I say I think at least some of his success is from what I learned in the 4 years of therapy I received for parenting him appropriately? I'm saying there is hope and ways you can modify what you're doing to make the situation better. Why is that bad? Back in the day, when things started to change for us, I realized I really could make things better, not perfect, but better. That was so empowering, after years of feeling like I was at the mercy of this little boy I couldn't get close to b/c it was exhausting to be around him. I'm crying now as I type this. It was

emotionally draining and makes me so sad to think of the years I basically lost with him. Here was this cute little kid I'd lay down and die for since he was born, but I couldn't enjoy the majority of the time from 1-7. Once we got things better under control, I completely fell in mama/kid love with my son. I of course had always loved him, but I was actually being able to enjoy him and appreciate him again, after so many years of struggle. This was huge for me and I want others to know it can happen. Why be on here if I can't share this?

( ) Re: In the middle of a meltdown

,You know what I hate, is when certain people try to make other people feel less of a parent because they dont have the success story that you do. Maybe your son is a higher functioning aspie and dosnt have any other dx's with his AS. All I know is that as a parent of an aspie child its hard enough to deal with their day to day functions, and I know personally that I am always second guessing myself and wondering if what Im doing is always the right way but for the most part I think we know our children much better than anyone else and we are always going to try to do the best for our child. Not everyone is going to have the success you have and its not because you are a better parent or disiplinarian, or that you have all the answers and we dont. If that were the case then you should right a book so we can all follow your example, but I guarentee that not everone will have the same

outcome because not all our children can learn the way your child does. All our children are different even though they can seem similare they are not all that similar. I dont mean to sound like a bitch but I am sick of people telling me what Im always doing wrong why cant they say hey your doing a great job. That would make me feel great. > >> I don't see how, as a group, we can act like this type of behavior is> just a> > symptom of having Aspergers because it's NOT.> > Unfortunately, , for some kids, it is. I'm not going to sit> here and argue with you about it. Either you can accept our word for> it or you can't. I think you should count yourself lucky you son has> not been afflicted this way.> > > Not saying what works for us will work for everyone, > > Exactly.> > Don't take this the wrong way--your intentions and support are> appreciated. I have to say that if I did not have a child like my> son, I really don't know what I would think about all this. > >

Ruth>

[Guest guest]

Liz, thanks for the update!! I'm so glad he made it through orientation!! that is a great sign!

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

Re: ( ) Re: In the middle of a meltdown

I think it's great that you're sharing. Any learning we can share from our own learning or our own mistakes is a bonus.

You said you wanted to hear from people who have older kids in college. My son is 20. He's had one year of college. He lived at home, did well in his studies and made the Dean's List. His second year, he got depressed and took the year off. I think things just got overwhelming for him. He just didn't have the organizational skills and the executive function skills he needed to get through it.

This year, we're sending him to a program for young adults with Asperger's Syndrome in Massachusetts. (We live in California.) He just got back from his three week orientation. He lived in a three-bedroom house with 2 other young men, shared the cooking and cleaning, and did all the testing required for college in the fall. This was the first time he'd ever been away from home for more than a week, and he did great. We had to start talking about it back in November. The first response we got was "Absolutely not." We worked it through with his genius of a therapist for six months, when he finally agreed that he needed help and agreed to go.

If I've said this already, please forgive me. It's senility.

Liz

On Aug 6, 2008, at 7:47 PM, MacAllister wrote:

I'm not trying to say anyone is less of a parent on here. I'm saying what has worked for me. I never thought we'd be where we are today when he was younger. Would you rather me keep all of this to myself or share it in hopes of helping someone? Should I say my son is a "success" because of dumb luck? Or can I say I think at least some of his success is from what I learned in the 4 years of therapy I received for parenting him appropriately? I'm saying there is hope and ways you can modify what you're doing to make the situation better. Why is that bad? Back in the day, when things started to change for us, I realized I really could make things better, not perfect, but better. That was so empowering, after years of feeling like I was at the mercy of this little boy I couldn't get close to b/c it was exhausting to be around him. I'm crying now as I type this. It was emotionally draining and makes me so sad to think of the years I basically lost with him. Here was this cute little kid I'd lay down and die for since he was born, but I couldn't enjoy the majority of the time from 1-7. Once we got things better under control, I completely fell in mama/kid love with my son. I of course had always loved him, but I was actually being able to enjoy him and appreciate him again, after so many years of struggle. This was huge for me and I want others to know it can happen. Why be on here if I can't share this?

No virus found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.5.12/1597 - Release Date: 8/7/2008 5:54 AM

[Guest guest]

,Unfortunately, we're paying for it out of pocket. There's a similar program here in California, which the Regional Center (which deals with kids who have disabilities documented at an early age) will pay for. Unfortunately, they wouldn't classify . So we are out of luck. So we're starving. This is a training program, not a college, so the usual scholarships and grants don't apply. There are loans. Big deal. If your child gets support from your department of mental health or other agency, you might ask if they would support a program like this. That's all I can think of.LizOn Aug 6, 2008, at 9:38 PM, gina wrote:HI lIZ,I am curious, does your son get any kind of grants for school or is this all out of pocket especially the traveling to another state ?? Just wondering if we should start starving so we can pay for all this? LOL. I was told by a couple people because of his disability that he should get a full ride through school anywhere and including his books and room and board. Is this true or am I being told a story? Im hoping he will get some help but Im not expecting a full ride. It sure would be nice wouldnt it???? My moms friend had dyslexia and because of this she had everything paid for even her room and board. She had an apartment off campus?? That just seems too good to be true.Thanks

[Guest guest]

Wow Liz

I am sorry to hear that you have to pay out of pocket. That can be a

great hardship. I guess the one good thing you can take from it is

that your child is able to go to college. I pray that my son will be

able to, but I also hope we can get some kind of grant. I better

start checking into it. I have a long way to go but better safe than

sorry. Good Luck Liz, gina

>

> > HI lIZ,

> > I am curious, does your son get any kind of grants for school or

is

> > this all out of pocket especially the traveling to another

state ??

> > Just wondering if we should start starving so we can pay for all

> > this? LOL. I was told by a couple people because of his disability

> > that he should get a full ride through school anywhere and

including

> > his books and room and board. Is this true or am I being told a

> > story? Im hoping he will get some help but Im not expecting a full

> > ride. It sure would be nice wouldnt it???? My moms friend had

> > dyslexia and because of this she had everything paid for even her

> > room and board. She had an apartment off campus?? That just seems

too

> > good to be true.

> > Thanks

> >

>

[Guest guest]

,He got very good grades in high school, so when he went to regular college, he got a great scholarship. The program he is going to in September isn't a regular college; it's a program that will prepare him for regular college. For regular college, scholarships are available for young adults in need, or merit scholarship for young adults who do well in school.LizOn Aug 7, 2008, at 9:44 PM, gina wrote:Wow LizI am sorry to hear that you have to pay out of pocket. That can be a great hardship. I guess the one good thing you can take from it is that your child is able to go to college. I pray that my son will be able to, but I also hope we can get some kind of grant. I better start checking into it. I have a long way to go but better safe than sorry. Good Luck Liz, gina

[Guest guest]

Liz,

I Keep learning new things from this site every day. I didnt know

there was a place you could send your child to prepare him for

college. Is this school just for kids in the autistic spectrum or all

types of disabilities and where is this school? gina

>

> > Wow Liz

> > I am sorry to hear that you have to pay out of pocket. That can

be a

> > great hardship. I guess the one good thing you can take from it is

> > that your child is able to go to college. I pray that my son will

be

> > able to, but I also hope we can get some kind of grant. I better

> > start checking into it. I have a long way to go but better safe

than

> > sorry. Good Luck Liz, gina

>